"CORPORAL JONES, WOR NEW NUMBER 2, NUMBER 1!" (IF YOO SEE WHAT WE MEEEN!?)

 Posted '12:45pm bells' Sunday 31st January 2021

'CORPORAL' JONES, 'SERGEANT' WILSON & 'PRIVATE' FRASER

EVAATIN 0  DADS ARMY 2 ('Sergeant' Wilson, 2) (who else?)

Jones, Wilson and Fraser aall made contributions in this excellent performance---the best for many a month!

New coach 'Corporal' Jones organized the team into a well oiled machine, az the 'new' Newcasil controlled the show at Goodison Park!

Great performances from 'Private' Fraser and 'Sergeant' Wilson, who scored the 2 goals to seal the victory, meant that NUFC moved 8 points clear of the relegation zone!

The 'shell shocked' mackem goalie we aall love to hate, 'Little Arms' Pickford, had to PICK the baall oot of the Evaatin net twice, az hiz Toon jinx struck again! (and there have been many of them!) 

A totally unexpected victory after 11 successive winless games, woz doon to the tactics of Jones, who never stopped shoutin' instructions from the away dugoot, az Bruce and hiz othaa coaches looked on perplext!

IF LOOKS COULD KILL!

At the end of the game, Jones rushed onto the pitch to hug Wilson, while Bruce walked past, seemingly disinterested!                         See the 2 videos we 'nicked' off Twitter (above and below!) to see what we mean!

Next up iz a home game v Cristil Palliss on Tuesday, when we can anly hope that Jonesy's 'magic' iz not 'a one off' and can help us win that game az well!?---This is NUFC and anything can happen!---we shall soon find oot!

This iz wor 'take' on the current situation at NUFC:

The NUFC 'reluctant' owner: 'The Fat Controller' doesn't speak!

The NUFC 'puppet' MD: 'Penfold' doesn't speak!

The NUFC main coaching post, it seems, haz been given to new boy Graeme Jones, who did an excellent job yesterday! (although Bruce won't admit it!)

The NUFC spokesman: This task, it seems, iz now left to 'Broken Nose Bruce' to speak utter garbage like "It iz what it iz!" and "We are where we are!" to give just 2 examples!

Geordie times comment: This iz where we are! and it iz what it iz!, if yoo see where we are comin' from!? ("HELP!" these nonsense phrases are catchin' on!")

Update '4:05' pm bells'

Bornley lost 2-0 orlier on at Chelski and so NUFC move up one place above them on goals scored to 15th position in the table with 22 points from 21 games! (By wor reckonin' we need to average just under a point a game to stay up, so 38 points shud be wor target!----16 points to gan from 17 games!)

Update: '10:00 pm bells' 

Brightin beat Sporz 1-0 to move within a point of us!

Good job we won yesterday or else we would be 4th bottom now!

Got to keep the momentum gannin' v Palliss on Tuesday at SJP!