Sunday 30 April 2023

THE TOON v THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB OF SOOOTHAMPTON *** TODAY AT '2:00 BELLS'

 Posted just before 'high noon bells' Sunday 30th April 2023



*NUFC play anothaa vital game this afternooon against relegation favorites Sooothampton!

We have aalready beaten them 3 times this season in The Leegue away and League Cup semis home and away!

IF we win then this will be the forst time in wor lang history that we will have beaten the same team 4 times in the same season!

We imagine that the same startin line will appear again after wor 4-1 win at Evaatin on Thorzday neet!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Munday

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Saturday 29 April 2023

THE HEEDBANGERS v MAIDENHEED *** NATIONAL LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted '4:30pm bells' Saturday 29th April 2023



*Off to see The Heedbangers v Maidenheed at Gatesheed Stadium this afternooon! (Mee forst visit this season for their last Leegue game!)

Kick off iz at '5:30 bells'

Match and booze report to follow!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

UPDATED SUNDAY

GATESHEED 4  MAIDENHEED 0



A resoundin victory for The Heedbangers ower the Berkshire outfit!

Before the match we drank in The TilleyStone and The Met(ropolitan)


and grabbed a quick can of John Smith's in the Gatesheed bar inside the groond caalled 'The Old Goat's Bar' (A ripoff 3 quid a can in a thin plastic cup!)





Goals (aall good ones!) were scored by Pye,Asaye, Campbell and Ward!    



The attendance of 1,300 plus included 40 diehards from Maidenheed who had made the fruitless 650 miles roond trip! HOWEVER! They celebrated at the end az they foond oot that Torquay had been relegated instead of them, az they failed to beat Wrexham!




Friday 28 April 2023

THE TOFFEE NOSES OF EVAATIN 1 THE TOON 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from 'high noon bells'onwards, Friday 28th April 2023 on train back from Liverpoool

THE END GAME! TOON PLAYERS CELEBRATE WITH FANS AT FULL TIME! (The forst time we have won wearin the Saudi away strip at the 6th attempt!)


*"JUST CHAMPION!"

The forst half wasnt ower clever but we managed to take a 1-0 lead into the half time break when Wilson fired home at The Glydiss Street End after Joelinton's shot woz parried to him by Little Arms Pickford!


HT 1-0 to us!

We were on the front foot in 2nd half az we attacked The Park End and doubled wor lead in the 72nd minute when a pinpoint cross from Willock foond Joelinton who heeded home from very close range!



It woz soon 3-0 when Wilson hit a glorious right footed shot from ootside the box past 'Little arms' from a Bruno pass!

At this point the Evaatin fans left in their droves az the Toon fans celebrated! 

They pulled one back in the 80th through McNeil but from the kick off super sub Alexander the Great (Isak) jinked past 3 defenders on the byline to cross for Murphy, who had the easiest of chances to hit home past the disparin mackem goalie to put the icing on the cake! (Er! We originally said Willock had scored, not Murphy!-- Special thanx to Marzzy for  spottin anothaa Geordie Times dilibrit misstayk!)



A brilliant goal by Schar woz then ruled oot az Dan Burn woz offside!

THE SCOREBOARD SHOWS THE SCORE AZ 1-5 BUT SCHAR'S GOAL WOZ CHALKED OFF AFTER A VAR CHECK!😬
(Can you spot the empty seats in The Park End!?)

Anthony Gordon had came on az sub late on to muted boos from wot woz left of the home fans and loud cheers from the Toon faithful!



Great news then came through that Moan U had let a 2 goal advantage slip az they drew 2-2 at Sporz!

This moves us 2 points clear of them and 8 points clear of Villa in 5th place!

The Champions Leegue iz within wor grasp!



Attendance not given but groond woz full at the start and 3qwaataz empty at the finish! (3,000 delirious Toon fans!)




Pub crawl report!

In total we visited 5 boozers--3 of which we visited when we played Livaapoool. Therefore any 2 new drinkin dens can be added to the list!

Runnin total now 135 away bars


🤪👍🍺

Thursday 27 April 2023

THE TOFFEE NOSES OF EVAATIN v THE TOON *** TOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 27th April 2023 on the train to Livaapoool

"EVERY PART OF THE GROOND!?  
DOES THIS INCLUDE THE AWAY SECTION!?"

The games are comin up thick and fast az we approach the last month of the season---and tooneet we are at Goodison Park where the local Evaatonians are plannin a welcomin' committee for wor team bus, with blue smoke bombs bein handed oot at 'The Brick' boozer doon one of the narrow terraced streets leadin to the groond!  It's actually caalled 'The RED Brick' by the way, az we have been there before!

(Divvint 'fink' we will bothaa gannin there this time though!) 

We are sure that 'Steady Eddie' and former Evaatonian Anthony Gordon will naa aboot this, az they try to intimidate us az the team bus passes by, az they hoy bricks at the windows! 

(They've done this before against the Manc teams and othaaz, which haz backfired spectacularly!)

There iz sure to be a hostile atmosphere inside the groond az well, especially if Gordon gets some game time!? The fellow Scouser they 'love to hate', az he jumped ship at the last moment, which iz hardly surprising when yoo see the video of their fans blockin a street near the groond with traffic bollards and stoppin hiz car when he played for them, to shout, "Your not fit to wear the shirt!" and "Get out of our club!"---which of course he haz done! (They DID ask him to leave--so why are they SO upset that he HAZ?)

Anyway!---Evaatin are in the 3rd relegation place and NUFC are of course in 3rd place, so it shud be a very 'tasty' game indeed!

Wor original Trans Peninne train woz cancelled, so we are on anothaa packed train az we speak!

Az per usual "Watch this space!" for a match report tomorrow on the train back! (IF it tornz up, that iz???)  

Tuesday 25 April 2023

361 loughborough university stadium (v derby u21s)

Ground number 361

Date of First Visit: 24th April 2023

Loughborough University Stadium, Loughborough

Derby County U21s 1

Newcastle United U21s 4 (Jamie Miley, Diallo (pen), Lewis Miley, Ndiwedi)

FA Premier Reserve League 2

Attendance: 300 (estimated) (5 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers)

Diallo steps up to take penalty kick ! 
(U21s in dark blue and gold change strip)
(Special thanx to 'Tex Taylor' for the photos az I woz tooo slow to get mee phone oot)


"I'D  WALK  A  MILLI🙂N  MILEYS  F😊R  😉NE  😀F         Y😄UR  SMILEYS!" 

125 years after NUFCs last visit to Loughborough in 1898, where wor forst team won 1-0, we paid WOR 1st ever visit to see wor U21s in action and won again, 4-1 this time!

Derby U21s play some of their home games at Loughborough University's Stadium 21 miles from Derby and az this woz yet another new groond for the Toonhoppers, we made the 170 mile pilgrimage to deepest Leicestershire to tick this one off! 

This iz the home of Loughborough University FC, who play in 'The United Counties Leegue Premyaa Division North' (Step 5 in the pyramid system) They have an excellent main stand with a great view and smaall terracin' on the other 3 sides of the groond, which holds 3,500 in total.



The story of the game woz the Miley brothers, Lewis and Jamie, who scored 2 of the goals and assisted in 2 ('yours truly' actually went to infant school with their grandad, 'many moons' ago!)

The forst goal in the 30th minute woz scored by Jamie Miley who woz put through by hiz brother Lewis!



Then just before the break Harrison Ashley woz fouled in the box and Diallo converted the resulting spot kick to put us 2-0 up!

7 minutes after the restart Diallo crossed for Lewis Miley to volley home to make it 3-0 to The Toon!



Then calamity struck when wor goalie Max Thompson woz sent off for 'last man' challenge on Wheeldon on the edge of the box! 

Hiz replacement Will Brown woz then shown a yellow card for a foul in the box, which resulted in a penalty to the home side. Brown saved the spot kick to keep wor 3 goal advantage!



Jamie Miley then played in Ndiwedi in the 64th minute to put us 4 goals to the good, with a great shot!

Derby pulled one back through Robinson in the 72nd minute  but it woz tooo little too late and we ran oot 4-1 winners!

That's TEN GOALS in 2 days for NUFC sides, after wor 1st team's 6-1 rout of Sporz the day before!---Long may it continue!


One drinkin den woz added to the away pub crawl list! Runnin total now 133!


View of the pitch from the excellent Robert Allison Suite (Whoever he iz???)


Flashback to 1898


Loughborough University groond iz on the left of the map and the *star shows where the game took place in 1898 aboot a mile away!


"DONNY DIMPLE AND HIZ GARDEN GNOME!"

"I THINK WE ARE AT THE WRONG GAME!?"

*Very strangely, there woz a Doncaster Rovers fan at the match, wearin hiz red and white hooped shirt---and even more strangely, (beleeeve it or not!) he woz carryin' a Doncaster Rovers garden gnome?????

"THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE GNOME!"
(GEORDIE TIMES 'PAPARAZZI' PICTURE EXCLUUUSIVE!)

Footnote: The official gate woz later given az 128 (looked a lot more to me?)
And the sending off happened after the 2nd goal, not the 3rd! (Glennn from Ashington haz pointed oot my dilibrit misstayks!)

Monday 24 April 2023

AND 125 YEARS LATER!

 Posted '6:00pm bells' Munday 24th April 2023 (From Loughborough)

THE LAST TIME NUFC WERE HERE!

"IT'S AALL GO FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!"

It's been 125 years since NUFC last played in Loughborough, when we won a 2nd Division game 1-0 against Loughborough Toon in front of 1,200 fans in 1898!   Campbell scored the anly goal(remember him?) to win the game!

And here we are in 2023 where wor U21s are playin Derby Cooonty U21s at Loughborough University Stsdium at 7:00bells this evenin'! (A 125 year gap must be some kind of record!?🤔)

Aa did some research, hopin that the University groond woz on the same site az The Athletic groond where Loughborough played, so aa could say that aa had been to a former Futbaall Leegue groond where we had played!



Sadly this wozzint the case, az the map shows *(Athletic groond shown where the white star iz-- aboot a mile from the University groond on the left!)😭

A full Geordie Times match report on this game will appear here sometime tomorrow!  Az per usual  "Watch this space!"

THE TOON 6 SPORZ 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 24th April 2023



"THE SAINT GEORGE'S DAY MASSACRE!"

"Where the hell do we start with this one?"

RIGHT!----lets start in the 1st minute!: Joelinton races into the box at The Leazes End and hiz low shot iz parried away by Lloris in the Sporz goal into the path of Jacob Murphy, who fired the baall into the net! 1-0 to NUFC



5th minute: Joelinton beats the offside trap and rounds Lloris to double wor lead! 2-0 to NUFC

9th minute: Jacob Murphy scores hiz 2nd goal with a screamer from ootside the box! 3-0 to NUFC

19th minute: A Joe Willock pass finds Alexander the Great (Isak) and he slots the baall into the net! 4-0 to NUFC



21st minute: Isak doubles hiz goal tally in 2 minutes, az he cooly places the baall into the net from a very tight angle! 5-0 to NUFC! (FIVE!)

A this point aa thought aa woz dreamin' az this surely couldn't be real!----Some Sporz fans had had enough by this point and started to leave the groond!!!!

49th minute: Slack defendin lets Harry Kane in and he places the baall past The Pope in The Toon goal: 5-1 to NUFC

67th minute: Super sub Callum Wilson poaches the box at The Gallowgate End and scores after bein on the pitch for just 65 seconds! 6-1  to NUFC!



It could have been many more az we celebrated wildly!---Honest, aa thought that Sporz would be very hard to beat and visualized a draw!

How wrang woz I az we increased the gap between us and them to 6 points with a far superior goal difference now, of course! (Which iz worth an extra point in itself!)


Sporz were wearin an aall light blue strip and ---"YES!"---they definatleee had 'the blues'!

NUFC move back above Moan U into 3rd place in the Premyaa Leegue table!----Champions Leegue futbaall and trips to Madrid, Milan and Munich are now very much on the cards! My 'dream' iz now nearly reality!



Attendance: 52,252 (3,200 Sporz fans at the start--Less than 1,000 at the end!)⤵️



*








Sunday 23 April 2023

CARLTON TOON 2 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 0 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saint George's Day 23rd April 2023


*THERE'S ANLY ONE MAN TO BLAME FOR THE 1974 PITCH INVASION AT SJP!" (Read on!)

Dunston's langest trip of the season woz aalso their last Leegue game and a win and othaa results gannin their way would meen that they would quialify for the play offs for a place In The Northern Premyaa Leegue 1st Divison!

We travelled doon on the packed team bus, which took 3 hours to get to Carlton in deepest Nottinghamshire!

A mad dash to the clubhoose then ensued az we arrived for several 'liquid lubrications' before the '3 bells' start!



There woz an unexpected talk in with an ex Nottingham Forest player who played under Brian Clough in the 1970s caalled George Lyall!

To be honest a'd never hord of him and az he recounted the days under 'Cloughie', aa looked him up on nufc.com to see if he'd ever played against NUFC? 

He HAD---and not anly that, he scored the penalty at SJP in the infamous 4-3 FA Cup victory for us in 1974, to put Forest 3-1 up, to cause the pitch invasion from The Leazes End, just after hiz penalty! (ie: HE  woz responsible for the pitch invasion!) The players were taken off and Forest agreed to play on az they were 3-1 aheed!----However The Toon scored 3 times and won 4-3!---Forest demanded a replay and got it!

George Lyall- the man who caused the pitch invasion riot in 1974!

After the talk in, he sat at a table near me and I told him that I woz at that game, which subsequently had to be replayed at Evatin (twice!) and eventually we reached the final at Wembley that year!

A Dunston fan caalled Sue said that hor hubby Les had played for Preston when George Lyall woz there!----He remembered him, to the delight of Sue! (Yi couldnt possibly make aall this up---could yih??)

ANYWAY!---to the match!   A disastrous own goal not lang after the start when a Dunston defender cleared off the line, only for it to rebound off Terry Galbraith to put Carlton 1-0 up and Dunston just couldnt get gannin in probably their worst performance of the season!

A 2nd goal near the end through Watson, put paid to The Bad Blue Boys hopes of a play off place (who played in aall red!), but it didnt really matter az other results had went against them and even if they had won 6-0 they still wouldnt have made the play offs! (Boosting Carlton's hopes of avoiding the relegation play offs!)




Never mind there's aalways next season!

"Bloody hell!"--Have yoo seen the size of the rats in Carlton!!!"


 Footnote: A REPORT ON NUFCs MASSIVE GAME v SPORZ WILL BE FORTCOMIN' LATER ON!

ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST