Friday 31 January 2014

THE TOON v THE SMBs *** TOMORROW DINNAATIME!

Posted '2:00pm bells' Friday 31st January 2014
ST JAMES' PARK *** FROM LEAZES PARK

Loic Remy will, after aall, miss the '150th Tyne/weardo derby' tomorrow, followin' hiz unsuccessful appeal against hiz sendin' off at Norwich on Tuesday neet! (Norwich's Bradley Johnson haz escaped a ban though, even though he kicked oot at Remy to start the fracas and then waz (allegedly) heedbutted by him!? <(ne justice if yoo ask us, but wor manager didn't help by forst sayin' that he would except a 3 match ban!----and then declarin' that we would appeal against the decision!?---the man iz unfathomable some times!?)

Aalso missin' will be Yohan Gouffran and 'Fab' Coloccini through injury and of course Yohan Cabaye! who iz currently in 'gay Paris'!(porminently!)

We reeely MUST BE wound up for this game, or else! and wor new loanee signin' Luuk De Jong will (hopefully?) make hiz debut in the number 18 jorsey and we can anly hope that wor new centre forward 'does the business'!
Az aa write this, ne new signins for cash! have been made on transfor deadline day, with a reported bid of £11 million for Lyon midfielder Clement Grenier torned doon yesterday! <(just NINE hours to gan now before the window shuts!)   

A'm gannin' to graft this afternoon (back 'truckin' to the Bormingham area once more) and won't finish til '3 bells' in the mornin'---then!--- after a few hours 'shut eye', it will be time to drag meesel oot of 'mee pit' and heed for 'The Newcastle Arms', where az many 'liquid refreshments' az possible will be 'shovelled' doon mee 'john o groat', before aa norvousleee climb the 200 stairs to mee seat on 'level 7' of the Milburn Stand for the '12:45 bells' kick off!

Like aa said yesterday, mee fingers, toes, legs and arms will be crossed for this one!

Match report to follow on Sunday-----"Sometime!"   

Thursday 30 January 2014

"ROLL UP! *** ROLL UP!" **** "FOR THE ANNUAL ST JAMES' JANUARY SALES!"

Updated 1:22pm bells' Thorsday 30th January 2014

We get Luuk De Jong for NOTHIN' on LOAN and sell Yohan Cabaye for a reported TWENTY THREE MI££ION QUID!---anothaa good bit of business in the 'Annual January Sales' by 'The Fat Controller', who's back pocket iz even FATTER now!

Star players, Andy Carroll, Demba Ba and now Yohan Cabaye have aall now been sold in recent January transfor windows with NUFC makin' a very tidy profit on aall three of them! < (DO you spot 'a pattern'???) <(DO you spot 'a pattern'???) <(DO you ---- - -------???)  

The silence from wor very own 'Clown Pr*ck of Soccer', 'JoeKanory', iz deafenin' az we fast approach the last day of 'the window' and we have now gone more than ONE YEAR since we last signed a forst team player for cash, which waz Moussa Sissoko (aka 'The Sissoko Kid'!) from French club Toulouse on January 25th 2013 for an undisclosed fee! <('peanuts' we suspect!)


We can anly hope that 23 year old centre forward and Dutch International De Jong 'hits the groond runnin' against the SMBs in the '12:45 bells' derby on Saturday.
Many fans feel that wor season will end on Saturday (az there iz nowt else to play for, for the rest of the season, apart from this game!) and anly a passionate performance will do---unlike the last two disastrous derby debacles we have put in against them!

We will sit in The Milburn Stand with fingers, toes, legs and arms crossed on Saturday!    

 
 
 
PS: THE FRONT AND BACK PAGES OF TODAY'S 'RONNY-GILL SEZ IT AALL!

 
"WE REEELY DIVVINT NEED TO ADD ANYTHING!"

Wednesday 29 January 2014

THE CANARY CUSTARD CRUMBLES 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2013-14

Posted '6:00pm bells' Wednesday 29th January 2014


A Yohan 'Cabaye-less' Toon line up couldn't break doon 'The Custards' defence despite hittin' the woodwork THREE times durin' the game!
We aalso had othaa glorious chances which were missed plus a couple of free kicks that Paris bound Cabaye would surely have put away!
Cabaye's departure for a reported £23 million just FIVE days before wor derby against The SMBs iz unforgivable in wor opinion and we can anly hope that 'The Fat Controller's' decision to pocket 'the bit' will not come back to haunt us at the weekend!?

We were the better team throughout by 'a country mile' and shud have easily won this encoontaa against a p*ss poor team who will definatleee be in the relegation mix come next May!

Sammy Ameobi proved to be wor star man of the game az the rain poured doon @ Carrow Road!

Loic Remy hit the post orly on and this waz repeated by Norwich defender Johnson who kicked the baall against hiz own post!

Ben Arfa missed a great chance when it waz easier to score and we went in at the break goal-less, when we shud have been at least THREE up!
Boos from the home faithful? then rang oot az the teams left for the dressin' rooms!

Again in the 2nd period we came oot in positive mood and Ben Arfa waz felled in the box in the 52nd minute but the ref waved 'play on'!

Then on the hour mark Ben Arfa waz fouled on the edge of the box and this time the ref awarded us a free kick. This Waz taken by Remy and hiz shot boonced off the bar and behind for a goal kick!--like aa say---the THORD time we had hit the frame of the goal! <(treble curses!)

And then the 'moment' of the game in the 80th minute when Remy tangled with Norwich's Johnson and waz adjudged to have 'stuck the nut on him' (a head-but!)
The ref sends both players off, which means wor top goalscorer will miss the derby match on Saturday! <(it just went from bad to worse!)

'The Canary Custard' fans torned a bit nasty and started singin': "YOU DIRTY NORTHERN BUSTARDS!" <(or words to that effect!)  az they point towards the Toon fans. We respond by singin': "YER JUST A BUNCH OF PIG FARMERS!", a reference to the many such pig farms in the Norfolk countryside that yoo can see from the train windows az yoo approach the ootskirts of Norwich!
"SPOT THE BACON SARNIES!"
(A PIG FARM ON THE PETERBOROUGH TO NORWICH LINE!)

It somehow ended goal-less---the luckiest point that Norwich will get this season! <(If anly we had a player like Yoh** ******!)

Toon team: Krul, Santon, Williamson, Debuchy, Steve Taylor, Tiote, Sissoko, Anita, Ben Arfa (Shola Ameobi 75), Remy, Sammy Ameobi (Haidera 87)

Attendance: 26,752 (1,500 Toon fans)

*Above pix by 'Liam from the Lamp' (my camera 'chucked it' before the game!)



PS: ON THE WAY BACK FROM NORWICH ON WEDNESDAY MORNIN', 
'BIG AL' TOOK THIS AMAZIN' FOTO NEAR ELY, AZ THE TRAIN MADE IT'S
WAY BACK TO PETERBOROUGH---AND NO! IT'S NOT THE NORTH SEA---
IT'S A FLOOD AZ FAR AZ THE EYE CAN SEE (OR SHUD THAT READ 'SEA'!?)


Monday 27 January 2014

THE CANARY CUSTARDS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET IN NORFOLK!

Posted '1:20pm bells' Monday 27th January 2014

Tomorrow mornin' we must travel to deepest Norfolk for wor Premyaa Leegue game @ Carrow Road. Just why the fixture fixers can't give us a nearer game mid-week beats us every time?

We are on the 10:22 bells train to Peterborough and then onwards to Norwich on the 'snail line'! (arrivin' sometime tomorrow afternoon!)
Because we can't get a train back, we have been forced to stop owerneet and come back on the Wednesday mornin'!
(It's eethaa that or get the bus for the torturous 500 mile plus roond trip and get back in the orly hours of Wednesday!)

Paris St. Germain have put a bid in for £14 million for Yohan Cabaye which haz been deemed 'unacceptable by 'The NUFC Fat Controller', so a bid thay IZ 'acceptable' could be on hiz table before the end of the week and he could be gone forever!

It will be interestin' to say the least to see if he iz in wor startin' line up tomorrow neet?---if not---then fear the worst!
'I Beg Your Pardew' iz in 'The Ronny-Gill' today sayin' that we can qualify for the Europa Leegue---a competition we simply divvint want to be in, accordin' to wor manager at the start of the season! <(yi cannit make it up at wor club!)

Meeenwhile---not a 'peep' oot of wor 'Director of Fools' 'JoeKanory', az to any incomin' players with just FOWER days to gan before the transfor window closes!

WE gan to Norwich lookin' for wor SEVENTH win on the road this season in 'The Premyaa' and az the home side are on a 'downer' at the moment, hopefully we can put in a 'Dr Jykell' performance rathaa than a 'Mr Hyde' one! <(we shall see!?)

A full match reprt won't be forthcomin' til we get back on Wednesday afternoon, so watch this space on Wednesday neet!

Friday 24 January 2014

"THUNDERBIRDS ARE" *** "GO!"

Posted '2:30pm bells' Friday 24th January 2014




"SOMEWHERE IN THE WEST END OF NEWCASSEL!" ***
"MANCHESTER THIS WAY!" >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A text message just received from 'Liam from the Lamp', confirms that we ARE to make the trip to Manchester tomorrow dinnatime for wor U18s game against Man Us equivalent @ their plush trainin' groond in Carrington!

A'm workin' neetshift doon to the Bormingham area toneet once again in mee truck (120th time since last Joon!) and shud be finished by '3 bells' in the mornin' at the latest!
This meenz aa can (hopefully?) 'grab' fower hours kip ---"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!" ---before gettin' up again @ '8 bells' and gan past Wetherby racecourse yet again, on the way to the M62 motorway!
'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' (aall fower of us!) will set off in 'Thunderbird 2' <(or 'Michael the Mags' 'jam jar', az the case may be!) at '8:30 bells' preciseleee!


The weather forecast for the 'manc' area toneet iz for heavy rain and the last thing we want, iz to get there and find the game iz off, like the other week at Bishop's Stortford, when we went to watch the resorves play Sporz resorves <(or DIDN'T, az waz the case!)
(see right hand tool-bar (ground number 307 (NOT!)>>>

'The Geordie Times' secret club insider will keep me posted tomorrow, shud anything unforeseen happen and a full 'Geordie Times' match report on the game will be forthcomin', sometime on Sunday! <(shud the game take place!?)

Thursday 23 January 2014

ANOTHAA FORST TEAM BLANKETY BLANK WEEKEND! *** BUT!

Updated '12:30pm bells' Thorsday 23nd January 2014

Yet anothaa blank weekend iz comin' up, inflicted and caused entirely by worsels!
The FA Cup iz to blame, az we are of course ne langer in it! (thanx to wor exit to Cardiff!) and we divvint play again til next Tuesday, when we face the lang jorney to East Anglia to play 'Delia's Custard Crumbles' @ Carrow Road in a Premyaa Leegue encoontaa.
And the players 'reward' for gettin' knocked oot of the cup by an inferior team???---a weeks sunshine break to Dubai (with their golf clubs ne doubt?) while we, the fans, shiver on Tyneside!

In the meantime, while they try to get their golf handicaps doon,  we are 'toyin' with the idea of gannin' to Manchester on Saturday instead, to watch wor Under 18s in action against Man U U18s @ their trainin' groond in Carrington!

We divvint normally gan to watch the kids away, but with a blank weekend to fill, it's a chance to chalk anotha Premyaa Leegue trainin' groond, off the smaall list that we have been te and which we can coont on one hand! <(ie: Of the current Premyaa Leegue trainin' groonds, we have been to, we include: NUFC, SMB, Sporz, West Brom and Stoke!)

We will let yoo know on Friday if we are definatly gannin', but theeze games can be cancelled or changed at very short notice with different kick off times and venues!  <(ie: we divvint want anothaa wasted jorney like we did to Bishop's Stortford! (see ground 307 (NOT!)   (see right hand tool-bar)>>>>

Tuesday 21 January 2014

THE TOON U18s 4 THE SMB U18s 0 *** FA YOUTH CUP 4th ROOND

Posted '10:45am bells' Tuesday 21st January 2014

"COME ALL WITHOUT! *** COME ALL WITHIN!"

A hat-trick by Jonathyn Quinn ensured that The Toon progressed to the 5th roond stage of the FA Youth Cup last neet @ St James' Park against a p*ss poor mackem outfit!

We dominated from the start and pounded the SMB goal, but the inevertible  breakthrough didn't come til near half time when Rolando Aarons crossed and number 9 Quinn fired home @ The Leazes End of the groond!

THE TOON PLAYERS CELEBRATE AFTER 'THE MIGHTY QUINN'S' OPENER!

The lead waz doubled 10 mins after the re-start when Adam Armstrong's cross waz fumbled by mackem keeper (wait for it!) Maksymilian Stryjek! and Quinn waz at hand once again to slot home from five yards oot!

'The Mighty Quinn' completed hiz hat-trick in the 72nd minute when Jamie Sterry passed in field to wor 'number 9', who drove the baall past mackem keeper 'mak' @ The Gallowgate End to put the game beyond the 'weardosiders'!

"CHEESE-IO!---CHEESE-IO!---CHEESE-IO!"

The rout waz completed by Adam Armstrong 7 minutes from time after a mis-hit back pass foond him, and he had the easy chance of scorin' wor 4th goal and teach the SMBs 'a futbaall lesson' they won't forget in a lang time!

'BLONDIE ALAN THE MORRIS DANCER' GIVES A 'V' FOR VICTORY SALUTE!

By the time the 4th goal had went in 90% of the 200 or so mackems who were huddled in the 'North East Corner' had departed to mockin' chants from the 3,000 plus Toon fans of: "CHEESE-IO!---CHEESE-IO!---CHEESE-IO!" (az opposed to 'cheerio'!) in reference to the many 'Cheesey Chip shops' in the 'Hendon', 'Pennywell' and 'Witherwack' areas of mackemland! <(Yes! there iz such a place az 'Witherwack'!)

Attendance 3,501 (200 SMBs)

Monday 20 January 2014

THE TOON U18s v THE SMB U18s *** FA YOUTH CUP @ ST JAMES' PARK *** TOOONEET!

Posted '1:17pm bells' Monday 20th January 2014
THE TOON U18s v DARLO U18s FA YOUTH CUP 2012
THE TOON WON *** VIEW FROM 'THE EAST STAND'

We are not even into the last week of January but we are set to play The SMBs for the THORD time this year aalready, when we take on their U18s in The FA Youth Cup 4th roond in a '7 bells' kick off @ St James'!

We have aalready won the previous 2 derbies @ The Academy of Sshh! (Yee Naa Wot!?) with wor U18s winnin' 1-0 and wor U16s winnin' 2-1 on Saturday 11th January

Az usual in theeze games anly The East Stand will be open for payin' spectators!
It's £3 for big kids and £1 for sprogs and zimmerframeites (Season tickets NOT valid for this game! <(Yi'll have to pay!)

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be meetin' in 'The Newcastle Arms' az we normally do, for a few 'gargels' pre and post match, if anyone cares to join us!?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


Match report and pix to follow tomorrow---sometime!

Sunday 19 January 2014

THE JELLIED EELS MOB 1 THE TOON 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2013-14

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 19th January 2014
THE 3rd GOAL! *** YOHAN CABAYE FIRES IN 
A FREE KICK FROM THE EDGE OF THE BOX!
(SORRY ABOOT THE BLURRED PICTURE!)
TOOO MUCH DRINK AGAIN, I'M AFRAID!

"NUMBER 5 *** WHO ARE YOO???!"

The day started off at 'The Central' where we caught the '7:22am bells' train doon to 'The Smoke', arrivin' in East Ham just after openin' time!
'The Overdraft Tavern' iz wor 'local' when we are doon here and the boozer iz just alang the road from East Ham tube station and aboot a 20 minute waalk from the groond!

After a (canny few!) liquid refreshments it waz time to heed for the tornstiles where there were massive queues for the Toon end!
A little bit of 'queue jumpin' later and we were in wor seats near the corner flag at the back of the stand!

We started off well and before lang we were in the lead when a pass from 'Goofy' Gouffran foond Yohan Cabaye who skipped around the West Ham defence to slot home @ 'The Bobby Moore End'! <(the far 'end' from us)

And then a bit of confusion az to who had actually scored wor 2nd a few minutes later, when wor 'number 5?' fired into the net??? (we DON'T have a number 5 on wor books???)
It transpired that it waz in fact Loic Remy who scored wor 2nd! Unbeknown to us, he'd had to swop hiz number 14 shirt coz there waz blood on it and he waz given a number 5 shirt for the rest of the half! (This goal brought a response from the home fans in 'The Chicken Run', who sang, "We hate Fat Sam more than you!") 

We were coastin' it at this point and then bang on half time we conceded a soft goal which trickled into wor net in front of the 3,000 Toon fans present, behind the goal!
LOOKIN' TOWARDS 'THE FAT SAM APPRECIATION SOCIETY'
IN 'THE CHICKEN RUN'!
(VIEW FROM ROW 'AA' IN THE 'CLEVER TREVOR' BROOKING STAND!)
 

"ANDY CARROLL HE LOVES THE TOON!"

'Big Fat Sam's Jellied Eels' Mob then came oot in the 2nd half with aall guns blazin' and missed a glorious chance orly on to grab the equaliser through Cole in front of the goal!
Andy Carroll then 'striped off' to make hiz 1st home appearance of the season to wild applause from their fans!
He then missed a glorious chance az well, when he 'skied' the baall into row 'ZZ' when it waz much easier to score!
This brung a response from the Toon fans who sang, "Andy Carroll he  loves The Toon!"

Then at 'the death' Carroll fouled Ben Arfa on the edge of the box and Yohan Cabaye took the free kick which rebounded in off the keeper and post, to seal the victory, az the Toon faithful 'went mental'! <(Andy reeely DOES love The Toon!)

After the match we went back to 'The Overdraft' for some 'celebratory sustenance', before heedin' for 'The Ship Tavern' in 'Holborn', before boardin' the last train back to Tyneside @ '9 bells' from 'King's Cross'! 

Toon team: Krul, Santon (Dummett 74), Williamson, Steve Taylor, Yanga, Tiote, Anita (Shola Ameobi 60), Cabaye, Sissoko, Remy (Ben Arfa 78), Gouffran

Attendance: 33,343 (3,000 happy Toon fans!)

'Geordie Times' 'factfile': Loic Remy's goal waz the 22,222nd goal scored on matchday 22 in the Premyaa Leegue's 22 year history!

Friday 17 January 2014

THE KRAY TWINS! *** JELLIED EELS! *** AND AALL THAT!

Posted '9:01pm bells' Friday 17th January 2014

It iz fast approachin' 45 years since aa forst set foot in "Landan's Eest End" to watch The Toon!
The game waz played at the same time az The notorious Kray Twins gangsters trial waz takin' place at The Old Bailey and we lost 3-1 that day, with Wyn Davies gettin' wor goal!
Below iz a match report from that game aall them years ago, when 'jellied eels' were a speciality 'dish' roond them parts! < (Quick!---pass mee zimmerframe!)

Below that iz a preview of tomorrows game against WHU

BIG FAT SAM'S JELLIED EELS MOB v THE TOON **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Updated '1:01pm bells' Friday 17th Jamuary 2014
THE BOLEYN GROOND LAST SEASON *** 0-0 !

Tomorrow mornin' we're off on the '125' to 'The Smoke' once again, this time to the "eest end of Landan" where we take on 'Fat Sam's Jellied Eels' @ The Boleyn Groond in Upton Park!

The home side are on a bad run at the moment (apart from their win at Cardiff last week---like!) and this iz the perfect opportunity for us to take aall three points, although WE are not exactly on a good run eetha, havin' lost wor last FOWER games!

We have sold wor entire allocation of 3,000 tickets, so lets hope we are 'up for it' @ Upton Park come '3 bells'!?

Ne team news for us yet, but former Toon striker Andy Pandy Carroll shud feature after retornin' from a lang injury last week, although he haz never scored against us (yet!)
Anotha former 'Mag' Kevin Nolan iz suspended and won't play!

For those of yoo who like a drink, the trains doon are 'liquid lubrication' friendly, BUT aall the one's back from 6:30 onwards ARE NOT! <(we are on the '9 bells' train back, so at least we have a bit time 'shovel' a few pints/gallons! doon wor necks before travellin' back! "Hic!"

"WHEY AYE!--DUBAI!"
After the match the Toon players are bein' 'rewarded'? for gettin' knocked oot of the FA Cup by Cardiff ,when they will 'jet off' to Dubai for some 'warm weather' trainin' on the date(s) of the fourth roond ties next week, az we of course divvint have a game because of this!!!! <("divvint forget the golf clubs, lads!")

Az per usual a 'Geordie Times' match report will be forthcomin' sometime on Sunday! 

Wednesday 15 January 2014

CANARY CUSTARDS GAME UNCHANGED! *** "HORRAY!"

Posted '1:00pm bells' Wednesday 15th January 2014

LAST SEASON'S GAME AT CARROW ROAD *** 0-0 !

AT LAST!---some good news to report in January after the disastrous defeats against West Brom and Cardiff, plus the 'no goal' against Man City! (NOT! forgettin' wor wasted 525.2 mile roond trip to Bishop's Stortford on Monday!) (see below!)

Because *'The Canary Custard Crumbles of Norwich' lost 3-0 to *'The Jacksonless Jivers of Fulham' <(explanations below!) in their FA Cup replay last neet, it meens that wor game in Norwich gans aheed az planned on Tuesday January 28th!
It would have been changed to the Wednesday had Norwich progressed, az their game against Sheff Utd in the next roond of the cup waz due to be played on the Sunday before, for live telly!

Wor £10 each way train tickets which we porchaced a while back can now be used and NOT binned! (To re-book would have cost us a fortune at short notice!)
Like aa say!---AT LAST! some good news!

*We used to caall them 'The Jackson Jivers' because of the Michael Jackson statue which stood ootside Fulham's groond. But the statue of him haz now been removed from Craven Cottage!---SO! 'The JacksonLESS Jivers' it iz!

*Norwich's celebrity chef owner Delia Smith's speciality iz 'Rhubarb and Custard Crumbles' (ie: The green and yellow of Norwich!)

Tuesday 14 January 2014

GROUND NUMBER 307 (NOT!) WOODSIDE PARK, BISHOP'S STORTFORD

Updated '12:15pm bells' Thorsday 16th January 2014

"SPOT THE RAIN DROPS!"

ground number 307 (NOT!)
Date of first visit (to clubhoose!): 13th January 2014
Woodside Park, Bishop's Stortford

Tottenham Hotspur U21s P
Newcastle United U21s P

FA Premier Reserve League
Attendance: 14 in the clubhoose---8 NUFC saddos!

"525.2 MILES TO HAVE A PINT IN 'THE NAGS HEAD'!"

The trip to deepest Hertfordshire to watch the resorves play Sporz resorves started off @ 'high noon bells' + 30' (That's! 12:30 to yoo ignoramassesss!) when 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' torned up at wor hoose and then it waz onward to 'The Newcastle Arms' near St James' to pick up 'Glennn from Ashington' and 'Biffa the Beer'!

Fower and a qwaata hours later (and 250 miles plus) we arrived at the groond to find it shut, with the car park deserted, but the floodlights were on!--- "Game on!"

Az the clubhoose wasn't open yet we decided to heed into the toon and find a boozer to quensh wor thirsts and 'The Nags Head' waz the forst one we came across two minutes away!
"525.2 MILES FOR A PINT OF SHANDY!!!"

Fower quick pints between us later (shandy for me az aa waz the driver!), we decided to heed back to the groond which waz situated at the end of an industrial estate and in the flight path of Stansted Airport some three miles distant!

"Heartbreak in Hertfordshire!"

By this time torrential rain waz pourin' doon and az we parked up 'Biffa' got a 'dreaded text' off  'Dave from York' who waz in the now open clubhouse, that the match had been POSTPONED because of a waterlogged pitch!---"Game off!" --we couldn't f***** believe it!---aall that way for NOWT!
"WE WAZ THERE!"  ("NOT!")

'The Caped Crusader' then torned up like a 'half drooned rat' soaked to the skin and we gave him the (not unexpected!) bad news!

A quick look at the pitch which waz covered in puddles conformed that the match couldn't take place az both sets of players stood around wonderin' wot to de next in a corridor leadin' to the pitch.
We entered the clubhoose to find 'Dave' with hiz sidekick 'Alex of St George' droonin' their sorrows (in more ways than one!)

They had used their FREE rail passes, travellin' through ELEVEN counties on various 'branch lines' to get there in their quest to try and travel on EVERY rail line in the country! 
We divvint want to bore yoo to death, but we just naa that yoo are 'dyin'? to naa which counties they went through!---arnt yoo??? They were (deep breath!)---Durham, North Yorks, Humberside (now East Yorks), Sooth Yorks, Notts, Lincolnshire, Leicestershire, Cambridgeshire ,Bedfordshire ,Hertfordshire, and Middlesex! <(It DOESN'T get much sadder than this, I'm afraid!)

But it nearly DID!---az 'Glennn from Ashington' pondered for a while whether to stay and watch the match at Sporz trainin' groond the next day, az waz then rumoured, az he hasn't missed a resorve game home or away so far this season! <(sheer stupidity if yoo ask us!)
However! this waz just a rumour az The Toon were reluctant to stay doon there anothaa day!
He decided NOT to 'risk it' and come back with us, az he had ne where to stay or plans for comin' back! (the train would have cost him an arm and a leg!)

Anothaa Toon fan caalled 'St Albans Steve' (coz he lives there!) waz devastated the match had been postponed az this would have been hiz 100th groond watchin' The Toon!

It waz then the lang drive back to Tyneside after wor fruitless jorney (a 525.2 miles roond trip!) and just five miles from the groond the rain (predicably!) stopped!
We eventually got back at 'midneet bells' (after nearly smashin' the suspension on a speed hump at Wetherby Sorvices!) wonderin' if we'd ever get the chance to gan there again!???

PS: The game WAZ played at Sporz trainin' ground  at 'high noon bells' the day after <(a groond we visited last season!)
 'Alex of St George' and 'Dave from York' who had stopped doon the London area for a bit of extra 'train-line spottin' were there and telt us that it waz 1-0 to Sporz after 16 SECONDS!
Score after 30 minutes: we were FOWER (4) -NIL DOON!
Half time score waz: 4-1 (ne news of wor scorer?)
Full time: there were ne more goals so Sporz won 4-1!
We eventually foond oot that The Toon's scorer waz Michael Richardson in the 37th minute!
(PS:'The Train-line Saddos' <(their new name!) aalso managed to 'squeeze in' 'Essex' az well, the next day!?)

Footnote: Because the game waz actually played, it meens that wor chances of ever seein' The Toon play @ Bishop's Stortford are very slim az Sporz will be in a different division to us next season, az the resorve leegue splits into two divisions (Sporz will be in the top division and we will be in the lower, due to wor leegue positions!)  

Monday 13 January 2014

THE TOON 0 THE BLUE MOONIES 2 ***PREMYAA LEEGUE 2013-14

Posted '9:00am bells' Monday 13th January 2014

THE TOON ATTACK 'THE GALLOWGATE END DURIN' THE 2nd HALF

"NO JUSTICE @ ST JAMES'Z! "YOU F*****G  OLD C**T!"

Wot can we say aboot the disallowed Cheik Tiote goal that hazzent aalready been said???

Yi'v aall probably seen the incident a thoosand times---but!--- how can yi chalk off a goal of this quality coz a player NOT interferin' with play, iz in an offside position???

After Tiote's wonder strike he ran to the Toon dugout where he waz hugged in delight az Joe Hart in 'The Blue Moonies' goal protested to the referee that Yohan Gouffran waz interferin' with play!
The linesman on the far side had KEPT HIZ FLAG DOON (ne offside!) but the ref went to him some 30 seconds later and told him to RAISE HIZ YELLOW FLAG and rule the goal OFFSIDE! (which he DID!) The worst decision a'v ever seen---EVER!

The crowd and wor manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' went mad aboot the injustice of it aall, but it waz to ne avail az the teams went in at the break to a crescendo of boos a'v never heard before!
Pardew apparently caalled  Pellegrini "A F*****G  OLD C**T!" (Pardew iz 52--Pellegrini iz 60!) az both camps argued az they went doon the tunnel!

'The Blue Moonies' had taken the lead after just 7 minutes through Dzeko who simply stode through wor defence to fire home @ 'The Gallowgate End' and thoughts of a 'cricket score' entered mee heed at this stage!

However!---we re-grouped and and az the game ebbed 'to and fro' we got the vital breakthrough (or so we thought!?) not lang before the interval with Tiote's strike! (TV later picked up a conversation between the ref and linesman in which 'the liner' said the baall had struck Gouffran before enterin' the net!--it obviously DIDN'T but the goal waz chalked off by the man in black!)

The 2nd half waz played oot to a chorus of boos directed at the linesmen, ref AND Joe Hart and we came close on several occasions to gettin' the equaliser!

And then deep into stoppage time 'The Blue Moonies' made the game safe when Negredo broke through and hiz shot waz saved by Tim Krul but rebounded straight back to him for a simple tap, with the goal empty!----Justice had NOT been done!

Toon team: Krul, Yanga (Haidara 82), Santon, Tiote, Williamson, Steve Taylor, Sissoko, Anita (Cisse 73), Cabaye, Goufrffran (Ben Arfa 82), Remy

Attendance: 49, 423 (less than we expected!) (2,500 'Blue Moonies' who hadn't taken up their full allocation of 3,000 tickets!?)

PS: We are off on anothaa groundhoppin' mission in a few hours time to Bishop's Stortford in deepest Hertfordshire, where The Toon U21 resorves are playin' Sporz U21s
Match report on that game to follow sometime tomorrow!

Sunday 12 January 2014

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONIES *** TODAY!

Posted '9:38am bells' Sunday 12th January 2014
ACTION FROM WOR LEEGUE CUP TIE AGAINST
'THE BLUE MOONIES' ORLIER THIS SEASON!
(WE LOST THIS ONE 2-0!) (VIEW FROM 'THE LEAZES END')

This afternoon @ St James' we have an 'eeezy'? fixture against 'The Blue Moonies of Mancland' in a '2:05 bells' kick off, for live telly!

Wor visitors have won the last NINE games against us and (az mentioned orlier this week) they are gannin' for an unprecedented 'TEN in a row'! which shows the gulf in class between the two clubs, who are both owned by the mega rich! (one spends the money and one keeps it!) <(guess which one 'keeps it'!?)

We can anly hope that they have an 'off day' after their six-nil demolition of 'Fat Sam's Jellied Eels' last Wednesday and hope (and pray!) that we divvint put in yet anothaa 'Mr Hyde' performance az we did against Cardiff last week and West Brom on New Years Day!

Both 'Fab' Coloccini and Davide Santon are likely to miss the game due to injury and 'Mat' Debuchy of course iz still suspended, after hiz daft sendin' off at West Brom!

The weathaa on Tyneside today iz very frosty az aa look oot across 'the sacred Tyne river', but can we give 'The Mancs' a 'frosty reception' az well?, in front of an expected capacity crowd!
Put your hand up pleeeze 'Dr Jykell'!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will be forthcomin' tomorrow mornin' and then we're off on the road @ dinnaatime to sample the delights of Bishop's Stortford in Hertfordshire to watch the Toon's U21 resorve side play Sporz U21s in yet anothaa mad-sad groundhoppin' 'mission' tomorrow neet! <(wethaa permittin'!?)

Match report on that game sometime on Tuesday!

Saturday 11 January 2014

SMB U18s 0 THE TOON U18s 1 @ THE ACADAMY OF SSHHH! (YEE NAA WOT?)

Updated '1:00 pm bells Saturday 11th January 2014

Az we speak the forst Tyne/weardo derby of the new year haz just taken place!
The Toon's U18s played their mackem coonterparts in Cleadon and wor rovin' reporter 'Liam from the Lamp' waz there to bring yoo! wor loyal reeders live updates az they happened!

Kick off 11:00am bells:
11:45 half time: So far ne score! but The Toon have had 3 good chances to tek the lead!

GOAL-FLASH! 55th minute: Herdman scores for the Toon from a Roberts cross---ONE- NIL UP!

FULL TIME: The Toon win the 1st derby of the year, but it waz a poor 2nd half played in an icy wind!

In the under 16s game on the next pitch The Toon won TWO-ONE!--to make it a double celebration on weardoside!

Attendance: 200 (half of them watchin' the U16s game!)
NUFC mad-sad groundhopper fans present, included: 'The Caped Crusader', 'Biffa the Beer', 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer', 'Glennn from Ashington' and of course wor very own 'Geordie Times' chief futbaall correspondent, 'Liam from the Lamp'! 

Friday 10 January 2014

SMB U18s v THE TOON U18s *** VENUE CHANGE TOMORROW!

Posted '2:00pm bells' Friday 10th January 2014


The forst Tyne/wear derby of the year takes place tomorrow mornin' when wor U18s travel to mackemland.
The game haz been switched from the  Eppleton Colliery Welfare groond to The Academy of Shh! (Yee Naa Wot!) @ Cleadon (SR6 7UN) and the game kicks off @ '11:00 am bells'!
Admission iz FREE!
So if yoo were plannin' to gan to Eppleton tomorrow to watch the youngins, then DIVVINT! (Unless yi want to watch the grass grow---like!?)

Thursday 9 January 2014

"A TALE OF TWO OWNERS!"

Posted '1:45pm bells' Thorsday 9th January 2014

We now must torn wor attention to Sunday dinnaatime when we take on 'The Blue Moonies' of Mancland in a live 'SKY' 2:05 bells' kick off @ St James' Park!

Wor season of course came completely 'off the rails' and affectively finished on Jan 4th, when we were knocked oot of the FA Cup by Cardiff last Saturday, to end ANY interest in the last FIVE MONTHS of the season and ANY silverware (once again!)

The anly thing that matters to 'The Fat Controller' iz just how high we can finish up 'The Premyaa' 'gravy train' for 'the millions' on offer!
Wor own take iz!---we WON'T finish any higher than the 8th position that we are in at the moment and the lowest we will finish iz 10th!
Despite 'promises'??? to the contrary in the summer, we hear that there iz the distinct possibility that NE new signins will be forthcomin' in the January transfor window <("NO said JOE!---aa DON'T think so!"), az we 'plod on' 'trophyless' in mid table mediocrity! (see the back page of 'The Ronny-Gill' above!)

The mega rich 'Arab owned' 'Blue Moonies' in COMPLETE CONTRAST, are 'on the Inter |City 125 line' and are gannin for FOWER trophies az we speak!

They come here after the SIX-NIL demolition of 'Fat Sams' West Ham in the Leegue Cup semis and a certain Wembley place in the final!
On top of that they are gannin for 'The Leegue', the FA Cup and The Champions Leegue for an unpesidented quadruple! (ANYTHIN'! would de us!)

'The Blue Moonies' are aalso gannin for an 'unprecedented'  'TENTH' 'win in a row' against us and we dare-nit think wot the scoreline could be after last weeks shambles, plus wor 'New Years Day' 'no show' against West Brom, but ne doubt 50,000 will be there to see it!

Wednesday 8 January 2014

"HUBBLE, BUBBLE, 'DIBBLE', TROUBLE!"

Posted '2:00pm bells' Wednesday 8th January 2014
"BAD NEWS I'M AFRAID ABOOT YOUR OVERTIME 'DIBBLE'!!!
THE TOON AND THE MACKEMS WANT TO KICK THE DERBY GAMES 
 OFF AT '3 BELLS' ON A SATURDAY FROM NOW ON!!!"


Both NUFC and the mackem hierarchy have joined forces to ridicule the claim by 'The Northumbria Dibble Force' that they DIVVINT in ANY WAY influence the kick off times in derby matches between the two clubs!

In an unprecedented joint statement both clubs have made the followin' accusations against 'The Dibble'

"NUFC and SAFC are surprised and disappointed with the statement issued yesterday by Northumbria Police in which the force CLAIMS that the police cannot direct changes for kick off times for the clubs fixtures, referring in particular to derby games!

Over a number of years both clubs have made repeated representations to Northumbria Police to try and reach agreement over kick off times to enable a traditional 3pm kick off or later to enable broadcasters to give the game consideration in the majority of their times slots for live coverage!

Police forces up and down the country have been able to police high profile derby matches for years, including most recently the first ever Welsh derby in the Premier League, Cardiff v Swansea @ 4pm, Arsenal v Tottenham @ 5:15pm and Man City v Man Utd @ 4pm!

In recent years Northumbria Police have rejected EVERY request for later kick off slots including 5:30pm Saturday, 4pm Sunday and 8pm Monday!

Both clubs have evidence in the form of considerable written correspondence which contradicts their statement yesterday!
The force also said that they WOULD NOT police games that kicked off later than 1:30pm!

For Northumbria Police therefore to issue a statement stating that they DO NOT direct changes to kick off times is quite frankly FALSE and ABSURD!

In light of this both NUFC and SAFC will now inform the Premier League that they will be available for kick off times that suit the clubs!" <("SO THERE"!) 

Tuesday 7 January 2014

"HUBBLE, BUBBLE, DOUBLE, TROUBLE!" *** UPDATE FROM THE FUTBAALL SUPPORTERS FEDERATION (bottom of artice)

Updated '1:23pm bells' Tuesday 7th January 2014
"DEFINATLY NOT! 'THE 'MAGICAL' MYSTERY TOUR!"

News reaches us that the SMBs are to be FORCED to use the yellow double decker busses, if they wish to see the derby encoontaa on Saturday 1st February (now a '12:45 bells' kick off <(suprize!, suprize!)

The so caalled 'BUBBLE' 'EFFECT' that 'the Dibble' have insisted on, meenz that any mackem who lives ,say in Northumberland (and there are quite a few!) will have to cross the Tyne to The Stadium of Shh! (Yee Naa Wot!) to get their match tickets on the busses az they are driven snail pace back across the Tyne to St James' Park!

They then MUST get back onto the busses after the game and cross the Tyne once again where they will be dropped of back at the SOS! <(before havin' to travel back ower the Tyne for a FOURTH time!)
This may soond funny to us!---but think aboot it!???---if they de it to THEM, THEN!---guess wot???---we will ne doubt be forced to de the SAME THING when we next gan doon to wearyside!

It's OK for the likes of me who anly lives a 10 mins bus ride from St James', but wot aboot 'The NUFC London Branch', the Coonty Durham based Toon fans or people like 'Dave from York' who will be forced to de the above in revorse!

A DOUBLE TROUBLE whammy if yoo ask us!
Yet anothaa reason to hope and pray that the SMBs gan doon this season, so we divvint have to gan through aall this F*****' S**T!

There's a joint statement on 'The Football Supporters Federation' website which haz just been released by both sets of fans who strongly oppose 'the bubble match'!
gan to: www.fsf.org.uk/bubble 

Monday 6 January 2014

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS NEWS ***** "NEW GROOND! ***** NEW GROOND! ***** NEW GROOND!"

Posted '2:21pm bells' Monday 6th January 2014

After the doom and gloom of wor shambolic FA Cup exit at the weekend (once again!), we can bring yoo some happy news instead!

We understand that wor U21s resorve game @ Sporz will now be played @ BISHOPS STORTFORD FC and not Sporz trainin' groond az waz expected! <(we were there last season when we lost 5-0!)
Bishops play @ The ProKit UK Stadium (formerly Woodside Park!) and the groond iz within eezy reach of the M11 Motorway (aboot a mile!) The roond trip iz approx 510 miles!)

The game iz due to take place next Monday neet and plans are aalready 'underway' to take 'The Geordie Times Mini Bus' doon and SIX 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have declared their interest so far <(little ol' me included---az a'm drivin' it!)

We will be leavin' @ aroond aboot 'high noon bells' from 'The Newcastle Arms' drinkin' den, which sits in the shadows of St James' next to Chinatoon and expect to arrive doon there around aboot '5 bells' (plenty of time for 'a gargel' az the game doesn't start til '7'!) <(ER! 'the driver' will be drinkin' coke and shandy!) 

More to follow on aall this az the week progresses!

Sunday 5 January 2014

THE TOON 1 THE RED HERRINGS of CARDIFF 2 *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND *** 2013-14


Updated '11:48am bells' Sunday 5th January 2014

"NO 'HYDE-ING' PLACE FOR THE TOON!"

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END DURIN' THE 1st HALF
(View from the cramped seats in row 'T'!)

'The Geordie Times' said yesterday in wor final comment, that dependin' on wot team we put oot and how we performed, would we be interested in today's FA Cup 4th roond draw on ITV @ '2 bells'?
"WE NOW NAA THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION!?---DON'T WE JUST!"

Wor 'gangway' seats which we bought in The Leazes End so we had more 'legroom' (az wor own seats were unavailable) torned oot to be reet in the middle of row 'T' with ne 'legroom' <(the lass in the ticket office assured me that they were 'gangway seats when I bought them!---a'v got lang legs!), but this waz just the start of wor problems az The Toon came oot with 'ne guns blazin'!

'The Red Herrings' wernt any better az their pathetically low 300 fans huddled in the North East Corner of The East Stand!
The crowd in total looked to be in the high 20,000s with the top sections completely empty! (where we normally sit with plenty of 'legroom'!) That's ower 20,000 empty seats in the 'greatest' cup competition in the world!
SPOT THE CARDIFF FANS!
(RED DRAGONS, BLUE DRAGONS AND SCOTLAND FLAGS!?)

The half time interval couldn't come quick enough az we slogged it oot attackin' The Leazes End and thoughts of a mid-week replay 10 days later in sooth Wales filled me with dread!
The anly 'highlight' from us in this half iz when Ben Arfa hit the bar from a canny way oot at the half-way point!

The 2nd half wore on az we attacked the 'far' Gallowgate End and again Ben Arfa ratted the wookwork but hiz effort bounced back oot into play!
Then at last we made a breakthrough on the hour mark, when 'The Sissoko Kid' raced doon the pitch and fired in a ferocious shot which waz blocked by a 'Red Herrings' defender, but the baall fell nicely to Cisse and he tapped the baall in from 6 yards oot to give us the lead!
The Toon fans celebrated in 'The Strawberry Corner' by settin' off flares and smokebombs which filled the air with a grey cloud!

MORE ACTION AZ WE ATTACK 'THE LEAZES'!

However!---the 'grey clouds' ower St James' soon got 'darker' when, first, Gouffran waz replaced by Obertan (to boos from the crowd!)before the visitors equalised through a great shot from Noone in the 73rd minute which beat Elliot in The Toon goal.
The 'replay synario' then entered mee heed at this point and aa wondered just wot excuse aa would have to make to get the 2 days off 'graft' to gan to Cardiff!

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END IN THE 2nd HALF

Aa shouldn't have worried though, az just 7 minutes later ex mackem striker Fraizer Campbell <(it had to be!) heeded home to win the tie for the visitors and send their 300 fans, dressed in blue AND red, wild with delight!
We were dead on wor feet at this point az the clock ticked doon and Pardew's final 'gamble' waz to bring on 'big guns' Remy and Shola with just 5 minutes remainin'! (too little toooo late!) and after 5 minutes of stoppage time the ref ended wor FA Cup misery for one more year!

 Yet anothaa 'Mr Hyde' performance (wor 10th of the season by wor estimates!) ensued that we will gan yet anothaa season with ne major silverware in the bare 'trophyless' cabinet, that sits, hidden in a darkened room somewhere beneath the Milburn Stand!
SPOT THE EMPTY SEATS IN 'LEVEL 7' OF THE MILBURN STAND!

Under 'I Beg Your Pardew's' 'leadership? we have now lost FOWER FA Cup ties to 'lesser' opposition!--namely---Stevenage---Brighton---Brighton (again!) and now Cardiff!
This meens that the remainin' 5 months of the season will be spent tryin' to remain where we are in 8th 'pot of gold' position in the table!---after aall 'The Fat Controller's' 'needs' <(money!) are much greater than wors!

Footnote:
After the match 'I Beg Your Pardew' complained aboot the 'strange atmosphere' at the match, mentionin'  the fact that there were thoosands of empty seats!
But wot did he expect?---he made SEVEN changes in aall (three off them enforced through injury or suspension) and the fans just knew a 'Toon X1' would take the field and not hiz strongest team!---And just why top goalscorer Loic Remy wasn't on from the start iz a mystery, considerin' that wor next game iznt til a week today against 'The Blue Moonies' of Mancland'

Toon team: Elliot, Santon, Haidara, Steve Taylor, Yanga, Tiote,  Sissoko (Remy 85), Anita (Shola Ameobi 85), Ben Arfa, Gouffran (Obertan 63) 

Attendance: 31,166 (more than we thought, but still 21,000 plus below capacity!) (still the 3rd highest crowd though, behind 'The Arse' and Everton) 300 'Red Herrings' (a pathetic tornoot from the Welsh!)
"I WIN THE DAY AGAIN, DR JYKELL!" ***HA! HA!" 


Saturday 4 January 2014

THE TOON v THE CARDIFF RED HERRINGS *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Updated: '11:11am bells' Saturday 4th January 2014

Next up on the list iz a home tie against 'The Red Herrings' of Cardiff in the FA Cup @ '3 bells' today!
Accordin' to 'The Geordie Times dictionary', 'Red Herring' meenz: 'It leads or distracts from the truth'  <(The truth bein' that Cardiff shud play in blue and not red az their obnoxious owner Mr Tan seems to think they shud!) <(Yet anothaa case of: "Fcuk you!"---"It's MY trainset and I'll do what I want!")

They have a new man in charge aftaa the unceremonious departure of 'Malky' with Ole Gunnaa Solshar <(We divvint naa how to spell 'Solskjaer'!) takin' ower the reigns in sooth Wales and the big question iz???---which Toon team will torn up in this Jykell and Hyde season!

Debuchy iz of course suspended aftaa hiz daft sendin' off on Wednesday @ WBA and 'Fab' Coloccini iz oot for at least six weeks after hobblin' off in the same game!
There iz aalso a 'doubt' aboot Yohan Cabaye and goalie Tim Krul's participation az they are said to have picked up a 'mysterious' injuries?

We fully expect that 'The Sammyobi bruvvers' and Steve Taylor <(remember him?) will take part with several resorve team players like 'Marveaux the Magician', 'Dummy' Dummett and 'The Angel Gabriel' (Obertan!) aalso in the line-up!? <(who says we divvint take the FA Cup seriously???)

'The Red Herrings' fans certainly take the FA CUP seriously az they will have a huge followin' of! ("wait for it!")> 300!---and they will be housed in 'The North East Corner' of the groond and NOT on Level 7 az waz expected!

The last thing we need iz a draw against them however!---which would meeen a midweek 630 mile roond trip doon to Wales for the replay, so we can anly hope that 'Dr Jykell' will torn up and NOT 'Mr Hyde' az happened @ West Brom on New Years Day!
"WHICH TOON TEAM SHALL WE PLAY
AGAINST CARDIFF TODAY, DOCTOR?"


The 4th roond draw iz on ITV @ approx. '2 bells' on Sunday afternoon!----but dependin' on how we play and wot team we put oot today---will we be in it???

A full match report will of course be in 'The Geordie Times' sometime tomorrow!---and az we've said many times before!---watch this space!

Thursday 2 January 2014

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 1 THE TOON 0*** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2013-14

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 2nd January 2014

THE TOON (in Brazil yellow) MAKE A DESPERATE LAST ATTACK TO GET
THE EQUALISER DEEP INTO INJURY TIME (to no avail!)


"UNHAPPY NEW YEAR!"

We jumped onto the 'Cross Country' 'snail train' @ 'The Central' @ 7.30 am bells and arrived @ New Street, Bormingham some 4 torturous hours later, where it waz 'chuckin it doon'!

'THE WELLY'   "OPEN AALL HOURS!"
A couple of pints in 'The Wellington' reel ale bar up the hill from the station waz followed by a search for anothaa boozer that waz open, az we wandered aboot like lost sheep in the poarin rain tryin' to find one!

"NAMED AND SHAMED!"  'THE OLD CONTEMPTIBLES' WAZ CLOSED!
('CONTEMPTIBLE' IF YOO ASK US!)

Eventually after 20 minutes we foond one caalled 'The Old Royal' and we stopped there til it waz time to heed for the train to 'The Hawthorns' from Snow Hill Station <(shud have been caalled 'Rain' Hill!) 

"SANCTUARY!"  'THE OLD ROYAL' WAS OPEN!
It waz then onwards to the match and on enterin' wor end, Toon fans were havin' a 'beer fight' on the concourse underneath the stand so we made straight for wor seats az one soakin' waz enough with the rain!

NUFC's 'Mr Hyde' torned oot I'm afraid and the we didn't have one solitary shot on target in the entire half (neetha did 'The Baggie Troosers'!) and we could anly hope for better in the 2nd period az sheets of rain enveloped the groond!

Ne such luck!--I'm afraid!--- az the two teams looked likely to play oot a goal-less draw az the 2nd half wore on!

And then the tornin' point of the game came in the 62nd minute when Debuchy needlessly got sent off with a two footed tackle on Yocab and it waz obvious wot coloured card the ref waz gannin to get oot of hiz 'sky rocket'!
LOOKIN' TOWARDS THE BORMINGHAM ROAD END
(View from row LL seat 3)

WBA then attacked wor goal for the elusive goal and had several chances to take the lead against the 'Tyneside Ten'!.
But then---just az we thought we would get away with a draw, sub Ben Arfa lost possession and Tim Krul brought doon Vyria in the box to give 'The Baggie Troosers' a penalty with just three minutes left on the clock!
Berhino took it and just beat Tim Krul to win the game for the home side---their forst win in TEN games!
A desperately dissappointin' result after wor recent good wins on the road!

'Mr Hyde' must have been on wor train back yem az well, az it waz announced ower the train tannoy near Lichfield that there wasn't a driver to take us from Derby Station and we would be delayed 40 minutes at least, unil they foond one! (the driver who took us from Bormingham finished hiz shift at Derby!)
Finally, one torned up <(Horray!) and we eventually got back to Tyneside late into the neet!
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!?" < (yi'v got to be kiddin'!)

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Coloccini (Yanga 65), Williamson, Santon, Cabaye, Tiote, Sissoko, Remy, Shola Ameobi (Haidara 76), Gouffran (Ben Arfa 46)

Attendance: 26,430 (2,600 'hung over' Toon fans!)

ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST