Sunday, 31 March 2019

THE ARSE V THE TOON *** APRIL FOOLS DAY!

Posted '9:32am bells' Sunday 31st March 2019

"WHO'LL BE THE APRIL FOOLS?"

For the 15th successive time we play away on a Munday neet and this iz wor 3rd time this season, followin' games at Bornley and Wolves!

We travel doon at dinnaatime tomorrow and will arrive at King's Cross in good time for some 'liquid lubrications' after dumpin' wor owerneet bags in the hotel not far away from the station!

We've anly won here once in 13 visits since 'The Arse' moved to 'The Emirates' in 2006, when Andy Carroll got the winner 9 years ago in a 1-0 win----since then we have lost 6 times in a row and not tooo many people give us any chance of breakin that sequence tomorrow!

Results yesterday meen that we slip to 14th place in the table and we can anly hope that Chelski win at Cardiff this afternoon to keep the gap at 7 points between us and them!
'uddersfeeeld are relegated, soon to be followed by Fulim and hopefully Cardiff! 

Lets hope that we arnt 'The April Fools' come '10:00 bells' tomorrow neet!
A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here sometime on Tuesday morning on the train back from London!

Meeenwhile, tomorrow, we will publish a 'classic' archive 'April Fools Day' match report from 1972, when we played Sheffeeeld United at Bramall Lane!
"APRIL FOOL!---THE JUDGE IS A GEORDIE!" 


Friday, 29 March 2019

THE ARSE v THE TOON *** PREMYAA LEEGUE **** MUNDAY NEET!

Posted '4:38pm bells' Friday 29th March 2019
1 SHILLING FOR A PROGRAMME IN 1968 (5 pence!)

On Munday we heed for 'the smoke' (London) yet again for the umpteenth time this season, where we take on 'The Arse' at 'The Em'!

The Geordie Times forst ever visit to London woz way back in 1968 when the UK WOZ an INDEPENDENT country, FREE from words like 'Brexit' and 'Backstop' AND 'decimalisation', where money woz in pounds, shillings and pence and match admission woz 2 shillings (10 pence) for school kids like me!

Arsenal Stadium, Highbury woz the venue 51 years ago where NUFC played oot a 0-0 draw on the 9th of November !

It seems like a lifetime (and a half!) ago, and a match report from that game iz reproduced in the archive match report below
(Ground number 004) "IS HAROLD IN?"

004 highbury arsenal


(GROUND NUMBER 4)

Date of First Visit: 9th NOVEMBER 1968
ARSENAL STADIUM, HIGHBURY, LONDON

ARSENAL 0

NEWCASTLE UNITED 0

(OLD) DIVISION ONE

ATTENDANCE 34,168 (2,000 Toon fans)




"IS HAROLD IN?"


Mee 'debut' visit tih the 'smoke' tih see the Toon play Arsenal, torned oot tih be a real 'eye opener'. For 'innocent'? school kid's like meesel and mee mate 'Billy' the thing that fascinated us as we travelled on the supporters bus through the streets of London was just how big the bloody place was.

Mile after mile of endless streets an' buildings, and even at six in the mornin' it was quite busy.
(Wi'd left Tyneside at midnight, as yih did in those days)


As this was wor forst time doon London to watch The Toon, we were taken tih see 'the sights' like 'The Hooses of Parliament', 'The Tower of London', and 'Big Ben'.


Next to the Hooses of Parliament there was an aad gadgie sellin' poppies from a staall as it was rememberance Sunday the followin' day. Aa got mee eye on a huge poppy at the back the size of a futbaall rosette and insisted that that!was the one aa wanted!

Aa gave him a threpny bit and he reluctantly pinned it to the lapel on mee 'nanny goat' an' aa felt as pleased as punch with mee new 'fashion accessory' as aa sauntered off doon the road! (aa say 'reluctantly', as aa think he wanted more than threepence for it!) (one pence in todays money!)


Aalso on the tour was a visit tih Downing Street, where aa was hopin' tih meet Harold Wilson, the then Prime Minister, for a bit 'crack' aboot futbaall. (he supported Huddersfield Town)

In the 1960's, yih could actually waalk reet up tih the front door of 'Number 10' (unlike nuw, where there are huged spiked gates at the bottom of the street tih bar the way, because of the threat of terrorism) (how times change!) 'Officer Dibble' was guardin' the front entrance, and aa asked him if ah could knock on the door and speak tih the Prime Minister.


"Is Harold in?", aa said in an optimistic voice, "a'v got some important business tih discuss with him aboot futbaall!",
---but, aall ah got was one of those,
'YOU'D BETTER P**S OFF BONNY LAD, OR I'LL KICK YOU UP THE F***** ARSE', looks!


---Aa thought it best not tih ask him again, for the fear of bein' hoyed into 'The Tower of London', so wih left very disappointed, (not knowin' what 'Harold' thought of the Toon's chances that day!) and headed for Islington, 'Norf Landon'!.


We arrived at Highbury a while later, and (as luck would have it!) the team bus pulled up ootside the main entrance just as wih got there.
The directors, one wearin' a monocle! (a member of the 'McKeag Clan', ah think?) got off forst, and with their 'noses in the air', they completely ignored the loyal fans who'd travelled doon tih London.


The players in contrast, (a'm glad tih say!) acknowledged the waitin' supporters and signed a few autographs before gannin in.


The uniformed usher on the door looked very regal (as did the stadium!) and as wih entered the East Stand paddock the grandeur of Highbury was there for aall tih see.


The two double decker 'mirror image' stands, with whitewashed balcony waalls on either side of the pitch, looked very impressive, and it was certainly a million miles better than anything wih had at St. James' Park (which still had open terracin' on two sides of the pitch!) To wor right was The Northbank End where the Arsenal 'choir' congregated underneath the roofed terraces and to wor left was the open Clock End which (of course!) had a huge clock the size of 'Big Ben' at the rear of the terracin'


Aalthough the match ended nowts each, it was far from a borin' game, with the Toon by far the better team, and for every save that McFaul in the Newcastle goal had tih mek, his counterpart Bob Wilson in the Arsenal goal had tih mek two.


However, 'The Mags' were very lucky not tih give a penalty away when 'Pop' Robson punched an Arsenal shot ower the bar, which the ref. and linesman did'nt see (much tih the annoyance of 'The Gunners' forwards!) who had tih settle for a corner.


Later on, things evened themselves oot, when 'Pop' evaded several tackles, in a run from one end of the pitch tih the other.

His shot, which was gannin in, was deflected tih Jackie Sinclair who fired a powerful drive into the net!---anly for the ref. tih disallow it for offside!. (looked o.k. tih me, like?)

This was an excellent performance from the 'Black 'n' Whites' in a game wih should iv won easily.
On the final whistle wih headed for the 'bright lights' of the 'West End' with wor 'guides', and in particular, we made for the seedy 'red light strip joints' of 'Soho' for some more 'sight seein'! ('Fenwick's window' in Northumberland Street was neva like this!)



(For 'innocent' 14 year old's like me and Billy, this was the REAL 'EYE OPENER'!)




©Fink ™(the mad-sad grundhpper!)

 

Wednesday, 27 March 2019

NEW PREMYAA LEEGUE GROOND!

Posted '3:44pm bells' Wedinzday 27th March 2019

THE 1st GOAL AT 'THE GAME IS ABOUT GLORY' STADIUM?

*The forst ever games at Sporz new groond woz played on Sunday when Sporz U18s played Sooothampton U18s and won 3-1 in front of a 28,000 crowd!

Sporz forst team will play there for the forst time when they meet Cristil  Paliss on April 3rd, meenin' that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will have a new Premyaa Leegue groond to add to wor list, hopefully next season (provided we divvint gan doon of course!)

This meeenz that oot of the current 20 Premyaa Leegue clubs, NINE have now moved to new stadiums in recent years, with Evaatin planning to move to 'pastures new' by 2023!

The Geordie Times haz actually been to 29 old and new groonds of the 20 current Premyaa Leegue sides! (with number 30 still to be visited of course!)

In the order of visits (some stadium names have changed)
1 St James' Park, Newcasil
2 Anfield, Liverpoool
3 Highbury, Arsenil (now a housin complex) 
4 Molineux, Wolves
5 Maine Road, Man C (now a hoosin complex)
6 The Dell, Sooothampton (now a housin complex)
7 Upton Park, West Ham (now a housin complex)
8 Selhurst Park, Cristil Palliss
9 Goodison Park, Evertin
10 Filbert Street, Lestaa
11 Leeds Road, 'uddersfeeeld (now a retail park)
12 Stamford Bridge, Chelski
13 Old Trafford, Moan U
14 White Hart Lane, Sporz (now demolished)
15 Turf Moor, Bornley
16 Craven Cottage, Fulim
17 Goldstone Ground, Brightin  (now a housin complex)
18 Ninian Park, Cadifff (now a housin complex)
19 Vicarage Road, Wotfaad
20 Dean Court, Bournemoooth
21 McAlpine Stadium, 'uddersfeeeld (junior game)
22 St Mary's Stadium, Sooothampton
23 Walkers Stadium, Lestaa
24 City of Manchester Stadium, Man C
25 Emirates Stadium, Arsenil
26 Cardiff City Stadium, Cardiff
27 Amex Stadium, Brightin
28 London Stadium, West Ham
29 Wembley Stadium, Sporz 
30? Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, Sporz?

In total we have played 48 different clubs on 57 different groonds in the Premyaa Leegue era! 

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

BAD BLUE BOYS *** CHAMPIONS!

Posted '10:10pm bells' Tuesday 26th March 2019
"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!****
OF THE WORLD!"

We are pleased to tell yoo that wor fave non leegue team 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston have just been crowned Northern Leegue champions when they defeated Guisboro 3-1 at Federation Park, Dunston this evenin'

Congratulations from The Geordie Times!πŸ†

"AALREET MEE OLD CHINA!"

Posted '1:45pm bells' Tuesday 26th March 2019

News reaches The Geordie Times that NUFC ARE gannin to play in a pre season tournament in China alang with Man City, Wolves and West Ham, az we reported a while back!

Wor forst game will be played in Nanjing on Wedinzday July 17th with the othaa one in Shanghai on Saturday July 20th, which iz a 3 hour high speed train ride from Nanjing!

Wor opponents for the forst game haaz still to be announced and we will bring yoo, 'wor loyal reeders' news of this az soon az we find oot!

The winners of the forst 2 games in Nanjing will play each other for The Premyaa Leegue Asian Trophy in Shanghai, with the losers playin' each othaa for the 3rd place and 4th place wooden spoon! 

PS: Rafa the Gaffa iz known to not be in favour of lang haul pre season trips and it remains to see if he will still be in charge by July?

Monday, 25 March 2019

ANOTHAA BLANK WEEK!

Posted '12:57pm bells' Munday 25th March 2019

With nee forst team game til next Munday neet away to 'The Arse' in norf London because of the International break, we are left 'kickin wor heels' for a 2nd weekend in a row!
Wor U18s ARE in action at Clayton Wood Trainin' Complex v Stoke U18s, next Saturday (in Stoke), but 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been there before to watch wor resorves play---so thats a non starter! (ie: We've got the 'tee shirt'!)

By the time we play 'The Arse', aall of wor relegation rivals will have played, so next Saturday and Sunday afternoon I will be 'glued' to the telly screens in Toon pubs lookin' for the latest scores and results!🍺🍺🍺🍺

SIX more points from wor remain' 7 games should be enough to see us safe and reach the 'magical' 40 points mark!
4 of those games are against relegation rivals, Cristil Paliss, Sooothampton, Brightin and Fulim and 2 are against 2 of the so caaled 'big six', 'The Liverbirds' and of course 'The Arse' next Munday
(The othaa game iz against Lestaa who are mid table)

More on wor game next Munday later on this week! 

Sunday, 24 March 2019

IT'S NOT JUST THE BIG CLUBS WHO GET GAMES POSTPONED AT THE LAST MINUTE!

Posted '10:44ambells' Sunday 24th March 2019


With nee forst team game on a Saturday (again!) because of International fixtures, some of the lads decided to heed for deepest Cumbria, where wor fave non leegue club 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston were supposed to be playin Penrith in a Northern Leegue championship decider! (The Northern Leegue iz the 9th tier of Inglish futbaall)
If Dunston won at bottom club 'Penrith Sheep Sh****rs' and 'The Bishops of Auckland' lost, Dunston would crowned leegue champions!

With train tickets booked, 'Grumpy Stumpy' and 'Davy the Silver Fox' were lookin forward to their visit to Penrith!  BUT! there woz ' a spanner in the works' az the game woz cancelled because Penrith had a county cup match away to Wigton, which takes priority!

They still went and got 'rat-arsed' in Penrith toon centre instead, where there  are 'bars a plenty'!

Yours truely had planned to gan az well, but couldn't, coz I woz on a *CPC course, which iz a requirement of aall truckers to do to keep on drivin' HGVs (*Certificate of Professional Competence) 
(I'd arranged the course on Saturday coz The Toon wornt playin'!---forgettin that Dunston were!---allegedly!)

Never mind!---'The Bad Blue Boys', who are well clear of the chasin' pack, will probably win it through the week when they take on Guisborough at home az 'The Bishops' lost 3-2 at Hebburn!----Just ONE point will secure the title!

Watch this space to find oot if they 'did it'!

PS: Wor U23s WERE in action at dinnaa time yesterday in a rearranged game and beat Wolves 2-0 with goals from Bartlett and an own goal!
just 189 were in attendance at Benton (az this game woz re-arranged late, I couldnt gan there eethaa!)

Thursday, 21 March 2019

PREMYAA LEEGUE CUP QWAATAA FINALS DRAW*** HOME SWEET HOME!

Posted '2:48pm bells' Thorsday 21st March 2019
BLUE FLAMES (AKA WHITLEY PARK), BENTON, NEWCASIL

The draw for the last 8 of the Premyaa Leegue Cup haz just been made today.
NUFC U23s reward after beatin' Reading U23s 2-1 at Woking FC last Friday afternoon, iz a home tie against Derby Cooonty U23s at eethaa Blue Flames in Benton, or SJP

The draw az it woz made:
Ties to be played between 29th March and April Fools Day!

'The Bornley Hillbillies' v Leeedz (at Curzon Ashton FC or 
Stockport Cooonty FC) <(been to Stockport)

'The Toffee Noses' of Evertin or the SMBs v Bleakborn Rovers (Southport FC or Goodison Park) <(been to both) OR the SMBs U23s home groond at Hetton the Hole! <(been here az well to watch NUFC resorves)

NUFC v Derby Cooonty (Blue Flames (aka Whitley Park) or SJP) <(gans withoot sayin', we have been to both!)

'The Friar Tuck Mob' of Nottinghim v Swanzeee (Alfreton FC)

This meeenz that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be denied a new groond, az both Forest and Bornley play their U23 home games at Alfreton and Curzon Ashton respectively!
(The next roond? IF we get through?---mebeeez?)

Wednesday, 20 March 2019

WILL THEY NEVER LET US FORGET???----EVEN WHEN THEY ARE TAAKIN ABOOT BREXIT!

Posted '2:50pm bells' Wedinzday 20th March 2019😨

They wont ever let us forget aboot a certain FA Cup game in the winter of 1972, played some 47 years ago on a muddy field somewhere near Wales!
The above report iz from wor 'little sister' The Times of London, In an article aboot-----BREXIT!😨

Monday, 18 March 2019

MAKIN' MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS!

Posted '1:15pm bells' Munday 18th March 2019

TOON FANS CELEBRATE RICHIE'S GOAL AZ ORANGE AND YELLOW 
COATED STEWARDS CONFRONT FANS!


News that 'The Sun' iz reportin' that NUFC fans invaded the pitch at Bournemoooth after Matt Richie's last gasp equaliser iz way, way ower the top!
Fans got pushed ower the fence when we scored and az far az we are aware nee players got punched or attacked! 
And there are reports of fans bein' PULLED OWER the perimeter fence by stewards az well!
One fan arrested woz released withoot charge when CCTV pics showed a steward pullin him ower 'said' fence!

This follows on from the Bormingham fan who punched Jack Grealish last week!
"THE 'JAW-DEEZ' ARE INNOCENT!"

Nee comparison I'm afraid in this 'mountains out of molehills' 'FAKE NEWS' report from a cr*p newspaper!

Sunday, 17 March 2019

BOURNEMOOOTH 2 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted on the train on the way back from King's Cross in London from '10:00am bells' Sunday 17th March 2019


"IT'S A 'WIND' UP!"

After wor trip to Woking to watch wor 2nd string in action the day before, it woz 'up with the larks' again to catch the '5:26am bells' train to King's Cross in London and then onward to Bournemoooth via Waterloo station on South West Trains!

The jorney to King's Cross woz uneventful and the 280 mile jorney took just ower 3 hours!
We then took the tube to Waterloo---and thats when wor problems started!
The '9:30 bells' fast train woz cancelled and so we had to get the multipal 'stoppin train' to Bournemoooth.

Before we set off for the 1 hour, 50 minute jorney we were warned  that because of high winds the trains were limited to 50mph and that the jorney would take much longer! (They wornt kiddin eethaa!

The toturous 109 mile jorney took 3 and a half hours and we eventually arrived in Bournemoooth at 1:00pm bells' instead of '11:30am bells' with 'withdrawal symptoms' due to the lack of alcoholic liquid lubrications!
The Brewhouse,Bournemoooth
(Pre match)

The Outback, Bournemoooth
(Pre match)


After deein 2 micro pub stops 'to relieve wor symptoms', we heeded for the groond where high winds indeed circulated the litter on the pitch!

The Toon played in wor light blue change kit and attacked the goal to the right of the 1,200 Toon fans!
 It woz a bit farcical in the wind with both teams havin chances to take the lead.

Just before half time many Toon fans heeded for the concourse beneath the stand.
We got a free kick on the edge of the box and Salamon Rondon hit a right footed screamer into the top of the net to give us a 1-0 lead at the break!---100's of Toon fans missed the goal az they supped their ale and smoked their tabs in 'the tool shed'! (Wots the point in makin a 700 mile roond trip and missin part of the match for a drink and a tab!???)

Anyway! and right at the start of the 2nd half the ref gave a very soft penalty to Bournemoooth and King scored from the spot!(we couldnt see why ref Dean had given it?)

There woz a 'close call' when Paul Dummett stopped a certain goal by kickin the baall off the goal line. Ref Dean looked at hiz watch and for a brief moment we thought that he HAD awarded the goal, but (thankfully!) goal line technology had proved it HADN'T crossed the line!
Bournemoooth then went for the winner and got a second goal in the 77th minute when King fired home from just ootside the box az the rain fell in buckets!

Aall looked lost at this point az the rain and wind swirled aroond!

Deep into stoppage time the baall came to Matt Richie inside the box and he hit an unstoppable left footed volly into the roof of the net to send 'the faithful' into raptures!
Many spilled onto the pitch in celebratory mood and some got nicked  by 'The 'Dibble'!

A valuable point rescued, but it should have been 3 if not for the refs dodgy penalty award!
The Bell, Bournemoooth
(Post match)

After the match we heeded for the bar next to the train station before catchin the train back to London
(2:30 jorney this time!)
Waterloo Tap, Waterloo, 
London

Lyceum Tavern, The Strand,
London
(Special thanx to 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' for this pic 
az mee phone battery had 'died' by this time!)

It woz then onward to some liquid lubrication locations near Waterloo station before heedin back to wor hotel in Euston to get some much needed 'shut eye'!   "ZZZzzz!!!"😴

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Fernandez, Lejeune, Dummett,Richie, Diame(Shelvey 83), Hayden, Almoron (Muto 82), Perez, Rondon

10,625 (1,200 Toon fans-- some missed both wor goals?😨)

PS: In total the 2 roond trips to Woking and Bournemoooth came to 1,300 miles by rail and 21 hours travellin' time in total includin' 4 tube rides from King's Cross and Waterloo and back!😨

*In 'The 100 away pub crawl challenge' we have now visited 108 different 'drinkin dens' this season! (So far!)🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

Friday, 15 March 2019

339 kingfield stadium, woking (v reading u23s)

Ground number 339
Date of First Visit: 15th March 2019
Kingfield Stadium, Woking

Reading U23s 1
Newcastle United U23s 2 (Sterry, Allen)

FA Premier Cup round of 16
Attendance: 75 (estimated) includin at least 12 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!)

WHERE'S 'THE PUB'!???

Havin had just 3 hours 'shut eye' after mee usual night 'truck run ' to Manchester, it woz up at '6am bells' to catch the '7:29 bells' train to King's Cross in London and then onward to Woking in Surrey via Waterloo station for this cup tie at Reading's 'home' for U23 cup games!

Colonel Gadaffi (the one from Bracknell in Berkshire, NOT Libya!) was aalready there and and told us to gan to a pub near the station caalled 'The Pub'! (Unusual name for a pub?)
However! we couldnt find it and in desperation (coz we were 'gaggin' for a pint!) I phoned him to give us directions!
"Its down the road from the station past the statue!" he said.
But we still couldnt find it so he said that he would come ootside and wave to us!
He duly did, and we spotted him, but the pub he woz ootside wasnt caalled 'The Pub'---it woz caalled 'The POUND'! (ie: he's in hiz 70's and me 'finks' that senile dementia haz set in!😨)
NEE WONDER WE COULDN'T FIND IT!
THE PUB NAMED 'THE PUB'?

Anyway! After a quick 'gargel' it woz time to heed for the groond where we gained free admission with a 20% discount (so the guy at the entrance telt us!)

The game kicked off at '1:00pm bells'and a sparse crowd woz in attendance.
The Toon's 2nd string torned oot in wor blue and maroon hooped strip and straight away we went on the attack az we attacked the right hand goal from us!

NUFC took the lead in the 22nd  minute when Jamie Sterry hit a fine strike from 15 yards oot to ripples of applause from the 'Diehard Dozen' who had made the lang trek to Surrey!

Wor joy woz short lived however when the 'home' side equalised barely 3 mins later from a free kick from just ootside the box!

Wor lead woz regained in the 37th minute when Allen hit a shot from close range after a scramble in the box and we went in at the break 2-1 to the good!

There woz nee more scorin in the 2nd period although sub Sorensson nearly extended wor lead but woz denied by a brilliant one handed save from Readings keeper!

The win puts us into the draw for the last 8 with the possibility of more new groonds to add to wor never endin list!
Accordin to the team sheet
NUFCs number 2 is caalled
Steppy (Sterry)


It woz then 'homeward bound' (via 3 pubs) and aa got back yem at '11pm bells'---went straight to sleep "ZZZzzz!"----and got up at '4am bells' to catch the '5:26 bells train(s) to Bournemoooth for wor forst team game there, via Kings Cross again (13 hours after leavin there last neet!)
(A match report on that game to follow on Sunday!)

More to follow tomorrow when av had a rest az I am truely 'cream crackered' az I have had anly 3 hours sleep in the last 24!


*The 100 away pub crawl challenge woz extended by 3 to 103
The Dolphin,Kings Cross
London

The Pound Bar, Woking


McGlynns, Kings Cross, London






Thursday, 14 March 2019

MAD-SAD MAYHEM!

Posted '2:48pm bells' Thorsday 14th March 2019
KINGFIELD STADIUM, WOKING FC

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' face a hectic 2 days on Friday and Saturday, when forst we heed to Surrey where wor U23s are playin' Reading U23s in the 'U23s Premyaa Leegue Cup last 16' at Woking FCs Kingsfield Stadium and then onward to Dorset on Saturday where we face Bournemoooth in a Premyaa Leegue encoontaa at Dean Court! (aka Vitality Stadium)

The handful of groundhoppers deein the 2 games are stopping doon on the Friday neet for the relatively short trip between the 2 groonds!---BUT aa cannit and MUST come back on the Friday evenin, az I'm on one of those '2 must travel together tickets' for Bournemoooth and mee mate 'Big Al' (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) iz anly deein the Bournemoooth game and would face a heavy penalty charge (ower £100) if aa wasn't travellin with him! (The venue for the Reading game wasn't announced til last week AFTER we'd bought wor 'non returnable' Bournemoooth train tickets!)

SO! my 'itinerary' iz----catch the 7:29am bells' train to London from 'The Central' (station) on Friday mornin---heed for Woking to see wor U23s on a new groond (KO '1:00 bells') and then heed back to London to catch the '7:30pm bells' train from King's Cross and get yem around aboot '11pm-ish bells'---grab a few hours sleep "ZZZZzzzz!"---and heed back to 'The Central' on Saturday morning and catch the '5:26am bells' train back to King's Cross---and then onward to Bournemoooth for wor forst team game, which kicks off at '3:00 bells'---stop owerneet in London on the way back and then heed for King's Cross yet again to catch an orly Sunday mornin' train back to The Toon! (I hope yoo are followin' aall this!?) 
A total jorney of 1,300 miles by train by the time aa finally get back on Sunday!

They divvint caall me 'The mad-sad groundhopper' for nothin'!

PS: 'Geordie Times' match reports on both games will be done on mee 'mobile' on the train(s) back from London on Friday neet (Reading U23s game) and Sunday mornin' (Bournemoooth game)

*Beware of plenty of spelin mistayks az the train ride iz a bit bumpy!

Wednesday, 13 March 2019

LIFE BEGINS AT 40!

Posted '2:04pm bells' Wedinzday 13th March 2019

"THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!"

With just 8 games to gan til the end of the season, NUFC are 6 points above the drop zone and we have a suprerior goal difference to aall the othaa teams aroond us!

Rafa the Gaffa reckons 2 more wins from those 8 games will be enough, which would take us to the 'magical' 40 points mark, which will surely be enough to stay up!

With both 'uddersfeeeld and Fulim virtually certain to be relegated, it leaves the final relegation place the one to avoid!

Cardiff look the most likely to faall through the 'trapdoor' az they have tough games against Chelski, Man C, Liverpool and Man U still to play!

Games to play against (so caalled) 'big six' of Man C., Liverpool, Sporz, Arsenal, Moan U and Chelski

Cardiff 4 out of 8
Brightin 4 out of 9
Bornley 3 out of 8
'uddersfeeeld 3 out of 8
NUFC 2 out of 8
Fulim 2 out of 8
Palace 2 out of 8
Bournemoooth 1 out of 8
Sooothampton 1 out of 8

Wor next trip iz away to Bournemoooth on Saturday and if we win we will gan above them into 12th place in the table!

    


Tuesday, 12 March 2019

THE TOON U23S 0 THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLAINS U23S 3 ***FA PREMIER LEEGUE DIVISION 2

Posted '3:00pm bells' Tuesday 12th March 2019
BLUE FLAMES

"RESORVES IN REVERSE!"

Last neet at Blue Flames (aka Whitley Park) wor second string lost 3-0 to Aston Villa in a game played in strong winds in front of a sparce crowd of 235!
This dented wor bid for promotion to the top flight with just 4 games to gan!
We sit 5th in this 6 team leegue and anly the play offs are possible now!

Sunday, 10 March 2019

THE TOON 3 THE TOFFEE NOSES 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '10:29am bells' Sunday 10th March 2019
PEREZ (on the right) HITS THE WINNER PAST A DISPAIRIN PICKFORD!
*(GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE 'BLURRED' PICTURE!)

"WOW!"---JUSTICE IZ DONE!"

The main talkin' point of the game iz that 'Pickford the mackem' in the Everton goal should have been sent off after a rugby tackle in the box on Rondon after spillin an easy baall!---a clear sendin' off!
The ref Lee Mason gave the penalty but amazingly didn't send Pickford off---or even book him! (Even TV detective 'Perry' Mason would have sent him off!)

2 VIEWS OF THE RUGBY TACKLE ON RONDON!

Wor visitors were 1-0 up at the time through a Calvert-Lewin heeder at The Gallowgate End and Matt Richie stepped up to take the penalty but hit the baall low doon the middle and the 'SMB lover' saved it with hiz legs!---JUSTICE had NOT been done!

The Toffee Noses then went up the field and scored a second goal, when Richarlison hit hiz effort past Dubravka in the Toon goal and the game looked lost!
News that Cardiff were winnin 2-0 in the 2nd half filtered through to the crowd which would meen that they would anly be 3 points behind us in the last relegation place!

A corner to NUFC at the end of the 1st half woz somehow torned into a goal kick, which completely baffled and angered the crowd and ref Mason came off to loud booos at the interval!

And then the comeback!---a neet one-two between Perez and Rondon in the box gave Rondon a free hit, and he put the baall beyond Pickford to reduce the deficit!

The crowd were reeeely up for it and the equaliser followed soon after when 'butter fingers' Pickford spilled the baall after a great shot by Almeron and Perez woz on hand to hit the baall into the net to send the crowd crazy! (apart from the 3,000 Toffee Noses in The Leazes End 'gods' that iz!)

We were reeely gannin for it now and the winner came near the end when  a lob by Hayden into the box eventually foond Perez and he blasted a left footer past the dispairin Pickford to lift the roof off the stadium!
5 Toon players were offside but the officials missed it and the goal stood!---JUSTICE HAD BEEN DONE!

5 nail bitin minutes of stoppage time followed before 'Perry' Mason blew for time az the players took the plaudits on the pitch az the mackem man we love to hate heeded dejectedly doon the players tunnel----one hour later than he should have done!

A crucial 3 points and wor FIFTH home win on the spin lifted us to 13th in the table and just 3 points behind wor opponents in the table!
Brightin, Cardiff and Sooothampton aall won az well to keep us 6 points above the drop zone!
Its still aall to de, but the games are now startin to run oot (8 left) 

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles (Dummett 46), Lejeune, Ritchie (Kenedy 73), Perez, Hayden, Ki (Shelvey 79) , Almiron


Attendance: 52,242 (3,000 p*ssed of Toffee Noses!)
JUSTICE FOR 'BUTTER FINGERS'!

*
FOR THE 5th HOME GAME IN A ROW HAPPY FANS LEAVE SJP!


EVEN 1960's TV DETECTIVE PERRY MASON 
WOULD HAVE SENT PICKFORD OFF!

ANOTHER VIEW OF
PICKFORD'S RUGBY TACKLE!😨




Friday, 8 March 2019

THE TOON v THE TOFFEE NOSES *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '2:05pm bells' Friday 8th March 2019
THE CLUB CREST ON 'THE PEARLY GATES'

Tomorrow afternoon at the unusual time of '3 bells' we take on The Toffee Noses of Everton in the Premyaa Leegue at SJP and we will be attemptin' to win 5 games in a row at home for the forst time in 15 years! (since 2004!)

Saun Longstaff looks az though he will be missin' for the rest of the season with a cruciate ligament injury, which iz devastatin' news for him and aall NUFC fans! 
The Morseysiders sit in 10th place in the table, 6 points above us and have won 4 drawn 3 and lost 7 of their away games so far this season!

We will of course bring yoo, wor loyal subjects a full Geordie Times match report on Sunday!
Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Thursday, 7 March 2019

"ATTENTION AALL NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!" *** "NEW GROOND! *** NEW GROOND"!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 7th March 2019

"WOKING WOE!"

News reaches us from the Readin' website that wor Premier Leegue Cup tie v Readin' U23s will take place a week tomorrow on Friday 15th March at KINGFIELD STADIUM, WOKING, Surrey at '1:00pm bells!
A groond we have never been tee before!
"YAAHOOO!"πŸ˜€

The logistics of gettin' there will prove a headache though, az we play Bounemoooth away in The Premyaa Leegue the day after.
The sensible thing to do iz stay the night in Woking and travel to Bournemoooth the next day, az it isn't far away!

HOWEVER! I am NOT a sensible person!---az I MUST travel back yem after the Woking game, az I have a train ticket where 2 people must travel together to Bournemoooth and aa will drop mee mate 'Big Al' 'in it' if aa don't travel doon with him!

Az the train fares are horrendous that Friday (£120 plus at least!) I will probably drive to Woking and back (roond trip 600 miles), gan to bed for a few hours---"ZZZZzzzz!" and heed for 'The Central' on the Saturday mornin' to catch the orly '5:26 bells' train to London and then onward to Bournemoooth---wor langest trip of the season at 700 miles for the roond trip!---That's 1,300 miles in total for the 2 games!
Footnote: I have foond a cheaper price for a retorn train jorney to London which iz £83 on the Friday---and then onward to Woking and back via tube and anothaa train! (£25?)---So train it iz!

Remember!  Yoo read aboot wor trip to Woking forst in 'The Geordie Times'--- and nee where else!😨


Wednesday, 6 March 2019

MORPETH HIGHWAYMEN 2 THE TOON U23s 0 *** NORTHUMBERLAND SENIOR CUP SEMI FINAL

Posted '2:03pm bells' Wedinzday 6th March 2019

"HIGHWAY ROBBERY!"

Wor U23s lost 2-0 against 10 men Morpeth in the Northumberland Senior Cup last neet at Craik Park in front of a 1,456 crowd!
We simply didn't get 'oot the blocks' and the home keeper had hardly out to dee in the entire match!
The Morpeth goals were scored by Henderson and Walton (pen)
Then the home side had Taylor sent off for a bad tackle on Matty Longstaff (the bruvva of 'Saun') but we couldn't make the numerical advantage pay! 
The Highwaymenz' reward iz a place in the final against  North Sheeeldz at SJP on a date to be conformed!

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