Thursday 11 July 2024

AMANDA *** THE REAL ANGEL OF THE NORTH!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 11th July 2024

The sad news that Amanda Staveley and hor husband Mehrdad are to leave the board of NUFC reaches us!

Amanda woz the main instigator in the PIF buyin' wor great club from 'The Fat Controller' in October 2021 and will aalways be remembered for deein' this by the Toon faithful!

She iz the REAL 'Angel of the North' and not that rustin' monstrosity that sits high on a hill in southern Gatesheed next to the A1!

Here's wishin' you and Mehrdad the best of luck in your next venture!---You are legends!

Amanda!--you are Tyneside's 'First Lady' and you will NEVER be forgotten for savin' wor club from the mire!

Wednesday 10 July 2024

IT'S SQUEEEEKY BUM TIME FOR ING-ER-LAND!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 10th July 2024




The 3 Lions play Holland tooneet for a place in the Euro final v Spain next Sunday!

I will be drivin back from Redditch at that time in mee truck and will listen intentleee on mee radio!----(The roads WILL be quiet for a change!)

And 'The Geordie Times' forecast iz that it cud gan eeethaa way!

Watch this space for wor reaction to the result!

Updated at Woodall services on the M1 10:33pm bells

“BRING ON THE SPANYAADZ!

🤪👍🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿


Saturday 6 July 2024

"AND SO IT BEGINS!"------NUFC TELLY GAMES FOR AUGUST AND SEPTEMBAAA!

 Posted '4:00pm bells' Saturday 6th July 2024

The forst live telly fixtures have been released and of course wor forst away game on wor langest trip of the season to Bournemoooth, a 750 miles roond trip, haz been moved to a kick off time that will make it very difficult to dee it on pubic transport, with just one owerneet stay!

It kicks off at '2:00pm bells on SUNDAY 26th August, which meeenz its impossible to get there on the day of the match and most probably impossible to get back yem after the match!

So a 2 NEETS expensive hotel stay looks like the unpreferred option!

And just to hoy a spanner into the works, there iz 'line work' between London and Bournemoooth on the day of the match, meeenin that a 'dreaded' 'replacement bus sorvice' will be in operation!

Last season wor game there kicked off at '5:30pm bells', which again made it impossible to dee it in one day!----So much for considerin' the travellin' fans!----One year on and---"Nowt haz changed!"----HAZ IT?

Wor Premyaa Leegue fixture changes for August and September are listed below!

AUGUST 2024

Saturday 17th @ '3:00 bells': The Simon Templar Mob of Sooothampton @ SJP (nee telly)

Sunday 25th @ '2:00 bells': Bournemoooth @ The Vitality Stadium (SKY)


SEPTEMBAA 2024

Sunday 1st @ ???: Sporz @ SJP (SKY) (Kick off time not given yet?)

Sunday 15th @ '4:30 bells': Wolverhampton Wanabeez, @ Molineux (SKY)

Saturday 21st @ '3:00 bells': Fulim @ SJP (nee telly)

Saturday 28th @ '12:30 bells': The Blue Moonies of Manchester @ SJP (TNT)



Fixture changes for Octobaa onwards, to be contoured



Posted just before the Ingland v Switzerland game from The Leazes End Companions boozer in the shadows of SJP

PREDICTION

I WANT INGLAND TO WIN BUT DIVVINT ‘FINK’ THEY WILL!

HONESTLY I HOPE I HAVE 🍳 EGG ON MY FACE AT FULL TIME! 🕰️ 🙏🏻


FULL TIME!




  

Friday 5 July 2024

ASHes TO ASHes!

 Posted '2:45pm bells' Friday 5th July 2024



Paul Mitchell iz wor new Sportin' Director and Dan ASHworth iz nee more!

The PIF own NUFC and Mike ASHley iz nee more!

The original 'NEWCASTLE UNITED' sign on The East Stand roof haz replaced the horrible and crappy italic Sports Misdirect sign, which iz nee more!

It's a weird coincidence that the two men who aall Toon fans despise the most, have ASH az the forst part of their surname!---They are both DUST! az iz the sign, which iz now in the DUSTbin!

"ASHES TO ASHES!--D*** ** ****!" <(Fill in the missin' letters'!)

Thursday 4 July 2024

NEW PM IN OFFICE AALREADY!

 Posted 6:45pm 🔔 bells’ Thorzday 4th July 2024



A new sporting director haz been appointed by NUFC to replace Ashworth the snake 🐍 

by the name of Paul Mitchell

WOR NEW PM!

Welcome to The Toon Paul

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