Friday 28 January 2011

011 highfield road coventry

Date of First Visit: 22nd NOVEMBER 1969


ATTENDANCE: 31,825 (2,000 Toon fans)


This was at the time of the 'Jimmy Hill revolution' at Highfield Road and when Coventry was a 'boom town'.
City's average gates were aroond aboot the 35,000 mark, and their city centre groond was considered tih be one of the best in the land.

 Whey!---it even had an electronic scoreboard!, (see above!) while most other clubs like Newcastle had tih mek de with a 'manual' scoreboard at the back of the Gallowgate End. (Which!---was operated by an aad gadgie, who put the half time scores up by hand!) Progress indeed for the 'Sky Blues!'.

Fower of wih travelled doon tih the Midlands for this game by the supporters club from Morden Street in the Haymarket, namely, 'Billy the Skin', <(the forst kid on the block to get a skinheed haircut!—braces-boots 'n' aall! ) 'Dylan' and 'Crazy Collie' (plus meesel of course!) and we had plenty of 'the broon stuff' to keep us gannin and smuggled it onto the bus. (in them days it was OK to tek drink onto busses, but WE were slightleee underage at the time (15!) so we had to 'sneak it on'!)

We were 'clammin' by the time wih got there, as we hadn't took any 'bait' to gan with the 'liquid lubrication', so wih went to a 'chippy' in the city centre for some 'Desperate Dan'.

As we were waalkin' doon a side street scranin wor 'scabby eyes' 'n' 'jockeys whips', wih saw aboot a hundred or so kiddas runnin' wor way in the distance.
Wih didn't think anything of it at forst, but the fact that we were wearin' Toon scarfs should iv rang the 'alarm bells'!.

The followin' conversation went sommik like this:
Billy: "Wonder where thih gannin---like?".

Collie: "Looks like thih heedin' this way!".

Dylan: "Thiv got Coventry scarfs on!".

Me: "F*****' HELL!---Thih after US!---LEG IT!---QUICK!".

And LEG IT!, wih did!.
Wih hoyed wor 'scabby eyes' at them (mine was meat and taatty!, and was freezin' caad anyway!) and scarpered doon the nearest back alley!. We were lucky!, and managed tih give them the slip, but it was a close caall and (thankfully!) we were still in one piece!

 Still shakin', wih headed for the match and the 'safety'? of Highfield Road. Aall the Toon fans were gannin in the 'West End', which was the Coventry 'hard end' where aall their 'fruit 'n' nut cases' went!---SO!---that's where wih heeded!.
(We were gluttons for punishment in them days!)

The Coventry fans were in full voice as wih made for centre of the said 'West End' where they were congregated, and they were singin' their favorite song---which went sommik like!:
"Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along,
merrily we roll along, up the Football League!"
"As we go we sing this song, sing this song, sing this song,
as we go we sing this song, sing this song for you!"
"Ci-ty!", (clap-clap-clap) "Ci-ty!", (clap-clap-clap) "Ci-ty!", etc.

The Toon fans on hearin' this, decided tih de their aan version, and substituted 'United' for 'City'. The Coventry fans were NOT! amused, and before lang a full scale battle was tekin place between the rival fans!. (there were ne segregation fences back in them days!)

At forst, the Toon 'radgies' were gettin' the upper hand, and charged at them with boots and fists flyin'!, and the Coventry fans 'legged it'. But!---they re-grouped and charged back at us!---and so it went on!.

In between aall this, ah was tryin' tih watch the game!, (Honest!) but with loads of coins 'clemmies' and 'half wollas' bein' hoyed aboot as well, this was'nt easy!.

The local 'Dibble' were havin' a field day, and quite a few Toon and City fans got 'collared', an' ended up in the cells for the neet!. (But not us!)

OH!---and the match itself!?---Well!---From warra could see?, (in between dodgin' the 'shrapnel'!)----


Match (and fight!) Report here!    

 The Toon came into this game following a very useful goalless draa away to Porto in the Inter Cities Fairs Cup (now The Europa League) and made a couple of changes from the European tie.
Keith Dyson had sustained an ankle injury and was replaced by Jimmy Smith while Wyn Davies was rested and Jimmy Scott came in to lead the attack.
Although Jimmy Smith was picked as a forward, he did most of his work in midfield where he and Tommy Gibb caaz'd Coventry plenty of problems.

'Jinky Jim' held the baall up brilliantly and created more than a few openin's but unfortunately The Toons attack had little cutting edge withoot Davies and Dyson while Scotty and Pop Robson did their best work on the wings or in midfield.

With 'Jinky' there as well, wor approach work looked great but when the baall arrived in the penalty area, there was ne-one there to snap up the chances.

The footbaall flowed like vintage wine in the forst half with The Toon producing some sparklin' stuff, especially in the forst 20 minutes. After that, however, Coventry gained the upper hand and forced United back.

City gradually got more and more on top and were in danger of swampin' Newcastle but it seemed as if Lady Luck was on the side of the Geordies as 'the Sky Blues', Hunt, Machin and Blockley aall struck the Newcastle woodwork.

Iam McFaul and David Craig were superb as Coventry piled on the pressure. Twice 'Craigy' blocked shots on the goal line as we held on by the skins of wor teeth.

Just like the 'pagger' on the West End terraces the game became 'scrappy' after half time, but Ollie Burton did a good job in controllin' John O'Rourke, the former Boro striker who was making his debut for City, and Bobby Moncur somehow kept calm in the face of some comical tantrums and histrionics from the wily Setters.
Ne-one could deny that Coventry desorved to win as The Toon fell apart in the second half, but it was ironic that they scored the anly goal of the game thanks to a debatable penalty decision by the blind referee, nameleee! a Mr Sinclair of Guildford (accordin' to the prog) who adjudged Burton to have fouled Hunt inside the penalty area to concede a spot kick

There were anly ten mins to gan at this point and this provoked more fightin' in 'The Wild West' with Toon radgies 'Doddzy' and his 'side-kick' 'Proudy' both sportin' their 'trademark' butchers coats leadin' the 'charge of the light (blue) brigade!' (and yet more arrests!)

'Doddzy's favourite trick was to mek sure that there was at least one fan in front of him to shield him from 'the front line fightin' and as he shoved an unfortunate lad sportin' a black 'n' white pom pom hat towards the Coventry fans, the poor kidda was knocked clean oot with a 'Henry Cooper style' left uppercut to the chin by a City fan, who had 'ne neck' and fists like 'garden shovels' and the kidda fell to the groond, 'like a man who had just downed 20 bottles of Dog'!

Back on the field, the City man had definitely went doon ower Ollie's ootstretched leg, and just like wor friend on the terraces he fell heavily to the groond, but it looked more like a mistimed sweep at the baall, than a deliberate foul by the Welshman. (ie: HE was 'fakin it'!---wor friend WAS'NT!)
Nevertheless, Hunt (the c***!) then made a 'miraculous recovery' and picked himself up to put the penalty kick past McFaul and give Coventry the 1 – 0 win----which!----in torn, sent wih slidin' doon the table!----(and yet more fightin' between the rival factions!)

After the match it was back to the city centre for sommik to eat as we were clammin' again (we'd hoyed wor last meals at the Coventry fans--remember!) before heedin' back to the supporters club coach for the lang trip yem

Aaltogether nuw!
"Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along,
merrily we roll along, DOON! the Football League!"

Highfield Road was demolished in 2005 to be replaced by a crappy hoosin' estate but their 'savin' grace'? was to leave the pitch area alone and re-grass it so fans could relive their memories of bygone matches (and fights) in 'The West End'!

"Where's 'The West End' gone--like?"

Geordie Glossary of Terms and Phrases
(for the benefit of 'non Geordie' readers)
(as the words appear)

scarpered=ran away
the broon stuff=beer
gannin=going gan=go
liquid lubrication=beer
desperate dan=scran=food (glorious food!)
scabby eyes=pies
jockeys whips=chips (nicked from 'cockney rhymin' slang!')
(the)toon=Newcastle United FC
hoyed=thrown hoy=threw
half wollas=bricks
20 bottles of dog=20 bottles of Newcastle brown ale

©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)


Friday 21 January 2011

255 whaddon road cheltenham

Date of First Visit: 28th JANUARY 2006

NEWCASTLE UNITED 2 (Chopra, Parker)

ATTENDANCE: 7,022 (1,060 Toon fans)


Whaddon Road was a 'rare' new Leeegue groond for the thoosand and sixty 'Toonhoppers' present, who were lucky enough to get their hands on a 'prized' ticket and it was aalso a 'major milestone' for 'little old me' (Whey!---little a'm not---old aa am!) in mee Newcastle groundhoppin' exploits, as this just happened ti be the 100th groond a'd visited of the 92 teams 'currently' in the League at the time.
Er!---if that soonds a bit 'Irish', aa should explain that that total
includes 24 'bulldozed' groonds that have 'bit the dust', the vast majority of which, have been (shamefully!) torned into supermarkets, business parks and hoosin' complexxxezz!

So!--- aa was 'ecstatic' (ti say the least!) when aa hord the news on Sky Sports that Cheltenham had beaten Chester in their thord roond reply for the right to host The Toon, as a'd aalready been ti Chester before ("GERRRIN!")

Taalkin' aboot 'major milestones', The Toon aalso had a 'nice roond figure' ti celebrate as well, as this was wor 5,000 competitive game in wor history

However!---A twelve thorty televised kick off was not what we wanted, but the 'hoverin' vultures from the 'BEEB' ('bless em'---NOT!) were prayin' that they could have their 'cake and eat it' and that we would be eatin' 'humble pie'!
A 'two am bells' alarm caall therefore was on the cards thanx to 'Motty & Co.'
Mee two travellin' companions for the near six hundred mile roond trip were, namely, 'Tex' "yee haa" Taylor and 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' who's 'jam jar' we were usin' ti gan doon in

We left at 'three thorty bells' and aa did the forst spell of drivin' doon ti Worcesterhire before havin' ti stop at the motorway services coz aa was absolutely shattered! (a'd anly managed two hours 'shuteye' the neet before)
After a quick 'nosebag' and a very expensive cup of 'Robert Lee', we set off again with 'Cowboy Norman' drivin' the final leg.

A'd done a hand drawn 'Auto Route' map of how ti get ti the groond and aa gave mee instructions oot as we sped doon the 'M5'
"Torn off at junction 10 then left at the big roondaboot next ti 'McDonalds" (etc etc) aa said and we eventually foond the groond with not one wrang tornin', which proved what a good navigator aa was and aa was 'chuffed ti bits' ti say the least that wi'd got there withoot havin' ti ask anybody directions.

But there's one 'tiny detail' a'd forgot aboot!---we had to pick Norman's brother 'Fawlty Towers' up at the train station as he'd been ti Sooth Wales for a couple of days visitin' his 'skin and blisters', Marjorie and Irene
Nuw the anly problem was!---aa had'nt thought of deein' a map ti get from the groond ti the station, so we set off 'blind' in the general direction of the toon centre which was two miles away.
We spotted some signs for the station and of course followed them, but! when we came to a roondaboot near the toon centre the signs suddenly disappeared. "Which way di wi gan nuw?", said 'Norman the Cowboy' as the traffic backed up behind us. Usin' mee 'navigational skills' aa telt him ti torn left and of course it was the wrang way and we got completely lost!

After drivin' aboot aimlessly for twenty minutes we passed the same booza THREE TIMES!, which meant that we were in fact gannin' aroond in CIRCLES! After the next 'circuit' we eventually flagged a postman doon to ask him the way and after dein' a much smaaller 'circle' we arrived at the station some three qwaatas of an hour after leavin' the groond! Of course bein' the 'navigator', aa got the blame for gettin' lost and mee reputation lay 'in tatters'! (the shame!)

We were late and we picked an impatient 'Fawlty' up and attempted to heed back to the groond. Again we got lost (AYE!---we passed that pub again!) so we ended up byin' an 'A to Z of Cheltenham' at a petrol station to find wor way back! (yi could'nt make it up---could yi?)

We (eventually!) parked up in a church car park near the groond (praise the lord!) and heeded for the warmth of 'The Cat and Fiddle' booza, just ower the road as it was aboot 'minus six' by this time. Predictably, bein' the anly booza we could see, it was chocker with Toon and Cheltenham fans.


'Match of the Day' was on the telly and they were givin' us a pre match view from inside the groond as the cameras panned towards the Cheltenham fans with their drums, horns and six layers of clothin'!
The cameras then panned to wor end where three rather rotund 'twenty stone plus' Toon fans were standin' bare chested in the arctic conditions with their beer bellies hangin' oot for aall the world to see, as the camera lenses zoomed in! (one for the ladies?)
Alan Hanson, who was one of the commentators, just shook his heed in disbelief, mutterin', "Hard men!---hard men!" (Brilliant!)
A sign on the bar waall pointed the way to 'The Drinkers End', (which just happened to be in the same direction as the visitors section, as we looked oot the window towards the groond) so when it was 'time ti gan', we had ne problems (this time!) findin' the way to 'wor end' of the groond!. (ie: we didn't need the 'A' to 'Z'! this time)


Cheltenham of course is more famous for the Gold Cup than the FA Cup and their tiny home was packed to the rafters as the game kicked off with chants of *"Souness out!" from some disgruntled Toon fans! (before? the kick off?—"howway lads and lasses, support the team instead!") (*Graeme Souness was wor unpopular manager at the time)
It was a decidedly average performance until 'Chops' heeded into the net from close range in the 41st minute and then 'Scotty' got wor 2nd two minutes later when he got in the way of a defenders clearance and the baall hit him in the 'nether regions' and deflected into the net just inside the post! ("ouch!")
With two goals in three minutes, this effectively sealed 'The Robins' fate to send the Toon fans in raptures. (Chants of "Souness in!" then reverberated around the 1,000 seater away stand!) "Aarrgh!"

Then after the break, 'Big Al' went agonizingly close ti breakin' the club *goal scorin' record when he just failed to toe poke the baall into the net from a yard oot! (*He was equal with 'Wor Jackie' on 200 goals)
Cheltenham goalie Higgs took a load of ribbing with chants of "Higgy for England!" and much worse as the Toon fans took the p***! ----And he 'took the bait', 'hook, line and sinker', by reactin' angrily with hand gestures towards the away section! (NO!—he WASN'T wavin' at us!)
The home side then had two glorious chances to score but (thankfully!) missed them both, the second after Odejayi rounded Shay Given anly to blast the ball into the side nettin' with the goal empty!
(This brought sarcastic chants of "ARE YOU SHOLA IN DISGUISE?" from the Toon fans!)

The highlight of the second half however was when a hamburger seller with a hand written sign sayin', 'ALL FOOD HALF PRICE!' hurried alang the front of the away section to chants of "YI COULD'NT SELL AALL YER BURGERS!", from the Toon wags!
The burger seller was then chased by a rather obese Toon fan who promptly bought THREE! of them!
This brought further chants of, "YOU'RE JUST A FAT GREEDY BURGER!" (or words to that effect!) when he started scoffin' them 'Billy Bunter style'!

By the time the match finished, aa was aalso 'Hank Marvin' and so aa heeded straight for 'The Cheltenham Chippy' (or whatever it was caalled?) next to the away end for a bag of 'jockeys whips' (what else in Cheltenham?) before makin for 'The Cat' once again (ti let the traffic get away yi understand!)

Aa then bumped into a Toon fan caalled 'Kev' who said that we would now be favorites for the Cup! ?
Of course with a 'two thorty bells' finish, he was reet!---as we were the anly ones through ti the last 16 at that stage!


It has come to my attenshun that some fans can't understand what a'm sayin' (Er!---sometimes neetha can aa!) so for this reeeson a'v added an 'A to Z' 'Geordie Glossary of Terms' to help the 'non Geordie reeeders' amongst us!

Big Al=Alan Shearer
Bells='O' clock
Booza=Public house
Chops=Michael Chopra
Gerrrin=Get in
Groundhoppers=Fans who visit new grounds
Hank Marvin=Starving
Howway=come on
Jam jar=Car
Jockeys Whips=Chips
Nosebag=Food (glorious food!)
Robert Lee=Tea
Skin and blisters=Sisters
Scotty=Scott Parker
The Toon=Newcastle United FC
Toonhoppers=Newcastle away fans
Wor Jackie=Jackie Milburn


©Fink™ (the mad-sad grundhpper!)

PS: Extracts from the above story aalso appeared in the next Newcastle home programme, on the 'Fink The Fan' page

Friday 14 January 2011

276 champions hill stadium dulwich hamlet

Date of First Visit: 6th JANUARY 2011

(Maddison 4, McGorrigan, Spear)

ATTENDANCE: 439 <(looked like at least 700 to me like!?) (100 Toon fans)


"A 6-2 win!---where's mee Hamlet cigars!???"

Part One:

The original game at the beginnin' of December was caalled off with less than 24 hours notice because of aall the bad weather we were havin', meanin' that wor advance £27 train tickets we'd bought had to be 'binned'. And as the weather was still 'iffy' one month later we decided to drive doon to Peterborough and get a cheap day retorn ticket on the train/tube rather than pay in advance again and lose the money if the game was called off at the last minute.
What we wanted to naa of course was---"was the game to be played---or not to be played---that
was the question! (now!---where have aa hord that before???)

We got the 'thumbs up' that the game was on this time ("horray!") and set off doon the 'A1' at 'eleven bells' in 'The Caped Crusaders' 'bat-mobile' with 'The Mad Professor' in the back seat. Once in Peterborough we let the train (and tube) take the strain and arrived in East Dulwich some two hours before the 'seven bells' kick off. There was a 'liquid lubrication location' ower the road from the train station caalled 'The Vale' so we made that wor forst Dulwich 'port o call'.
The lassie behind the bar telt us that she was from Waallsend and that hor auntie lived in Lobley Hill in Gatesheed (a place aa naa very well) and aa couldn't help thinkin' ---"what a smaall world it is!"

Part Two:

'Bysy' from Ashington then waalked into the bar and said that he'd travelled doon on his aan by bus but strangely there was nee sign of 'Dave from York' or 'Alex' his side kick as they'd phoned us orlier to say that they were half an hour in front of us on the train (so WHERE THE F*** were they?)

Ten minutes later they waalked perplexed <(wotever that meeenz?) into the bar, explainin' that they'd ended up in East Croydon as they'd got completely lost on the train! ("Er!"---it should be explained that BOTH! of them are retired train company managers!) (ie: if THEY! can't find there way aboot then how the F*** can WE?) They said that the train timetable at East Croydon telt them that they were only 'twenty four minutes from 'Tulse Hill', a station not far from East Dulwich and so they hopped on the REET train this time and arrived half an hour behind us! (red faces aall roond!)


After a couple of 'gargels' there, it was time to move on to the groond which we were telt was next to a Sainsbury's Superstore and we knew that we were getting' warm as we past a tree with a Sainsbury's plastic bag stuck on one of it's branches blowin' in the breeze,
As the groond was on 'Dog Kennel Hill' (would you believe?) aa started listenin' for the soond of dogs barkin', but to no avail!—as there was anly the noise of traffic heedin' for the superstore's car park!

The Sainsbury's store then appeared in the distance alang with the floodlights of the groond and to get there we had to bizarrely walk through a CAR WASH to reach the tornstiles behind one of the goals! (It should be noted that the car wash was deserted and switched off at the time!)
Once inside after payin' wor fower quid admission fee we made for the clubhouse which was at the back of the main stand with an uninterrupted view of the pitch from it's windows.

Inside, the bar area was a fair size runnin' the length of the pitch and there were a few other London based fans there alang with another half dozen or so saddos who had travelled doon from the north east includin' Byzy's mate Glennn, 'The Bear' and 'Vince'. We were aalso 'honoured' to be in the presence of 'the one and only' 'Colonel Gaddafi' ----NOT! the one from Tripoli in Libya, but the one from Bracknell in Berkshire, who strikes a canny resemblance to the Libyan leader and is 'affectionately' knaan simply as 'The Colonel' to aall Toon fans who naa him.

However!---'The Colonel' decided that as it was tooo caad to gan ootside and that he was gannih watch the match from the warmth of the clubhouse instead, whilst partaking in a few 'liquid refreshments' (Soft B*****d!)
I pointed oot to him that under the terms of 'The Geordie Convention' that if he watched the whole match from INSIDE the bar area that he COULDN'T include it in his 'groundhoppin' records unless he actually went onto the terraces at some point durin' the match (Rule 37b!)

I have to tell you that he just shrugged his shoulders in a 'couldn't care- a-less' attitude and gulped his 'lubrication' doon his 'Gregory Peck'
(Now where did aa put mee 'little black book'?)

'Gaddafi of Bracknell'

Part Three:

Aa like these games for one simple reason---yi not crammed in like sardines with 50,000 others at a Premier League game and there were aroond aboot 700 or so present as the game kicked off, mostly in the main stand seats. (ne doubt that this was 'Hamlets' biggest crowd of the season by a lang way!)
The windows of the blocks of flats on 'Dog Kennel Hill' behind the right hand side goal lit up the night sky, but it's occupants would have been too far away to see any of the action (unless they had binoculars!)
To say that the Dulwich team were big lads would be the understatement of the year (six days in!) as it looked like they must have been drinkin' Irn Bru and eatin' spinach for their pre match meal!. They were much bigger than the Toons' youngins' and they started off strongly by makin' an orly breakthrough in the 9th minute when a defensive mix up left the goal empty and one of their forwards gleefully placed the baall into the unguarded net. Just 5 mins later though we were back on equal torms when Marcus Maddison fired home at 'The Car Wash End' and we went in 'aall square' at the break .

Aa heeded back to the bar where 'The Colonel' was sittin' at the coonter lookin' a bit 'comatosed' and with anly two 'flustered' barmaids to sorve us it took quite a while to get mee 'gargel'. They obviously weren't prepared for a crowd of this magnitude as the Geordie hordes demanded their 'half time fix'!

And now av got a confession to make!---as aa heeded back to the touchline for the start of the second half aa was asked by 'The Caped Crusader' if a'd seen wor 2nd goal?. I had to admit that I HADN'T as I was waalkin' doon the stairs at the time and he imformed me that Ryan McGorrigan had fired a shot in from close range at!---(wait for it!)—'The Dog Kennel End!' (it HAD to be!) ("woof!-woof!")

Further goals from Maddison in the 51st and 64th minute completed his hat trick as the part timers from 'Hamlet' tired as the game progressed, with lack of fitness a key factor in their collapse (they must'iv ran oot of spinach!?)
Maddison added a 4th for himself and 5th for The Toon late into the game with the home side replyin' through De Frietas with a fine lob ower Alnwick in the Newcastle goal. However Aaron Spear completed the rout for us when he fired in a low shot from the edge of the box for wor sixth and final goal at 'The Dog Kennel End'

Not bad!—a'd actually seen SEVEN of the eight goals scored and we hurried off as the final whistle blew to catch the train back to central London and as we made wor way back through the car wash the tannoy annooncer informed us that the crowd was 439!?—a much lower number than was actually there??? (gate f***le or wot???)
Anyway!---to cut a lang story 'lang', we eventually got back to Tyneside at 'two bells' in the mornin'---another groond ticked off the 'list'!

©Fink™(the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)

Geordie Glossary of Terms
(for the benefit of  'non-Geordie' readers)

seven bells=seven o clock (etc) 
liquid lubrication location=a pub!
wor=our      naa=know     aan=own     nee=no  
telt=told     gargels=beers     fower=four
caad=cold     gannih=going to    
liquid refreshment=beer     lubrication=beer
gregory peck=neck

Saturday 8 January 2011


THE GEORDIE TIMES (an explanation)

< Many many moons ago a group of intrepid Geordies heeded for ‘The Smoke’ (London) in search of graft

They consisted of painters, decorators, plumbers, brickies and plonkies! and they based themsels in the Shepherds Bush and Hammersmith area’s of west London

One of their number, namely, ‘Malla’ (wheeze keys Clayton) had a ‘brainwave’ one day (or should that be ‘brainWARP’?) and decided tih de a twice fortnightly newspaper (as opposed to once a week!) aboot the ‘exploits’ of this incandesant clan (whatever that meeenz?) in cartoon form and caalled it ‘The Geordie Times’

NOT exactly in the ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet!’ mould, of Jimmy Nail and Dennis, they were more like the, ‘Auf To ‘The Smoke’ Pet!’ ‘mould’ of Laurel and Hardy!

In total ten issues were published on a clapped oot photo copier and it carried on until they eventually got homesick and came back ‘yem’ to work and sadly this scurrilous publication ceased production.---


In 1995 aa decided to de a fanzine of the same name and two issues were published before ‘time was caalled’ as it was too much hassle sellin’ them and (more importantlee!) it wasted valuable drinkin’ time in the process!


Aa was asked by Newcastle United programme editor, one ‘Jethro’ Tully to de the fan page in the match programme for season 2005-2006 which was caalled ‘FINK THE FAN’.

It was a great success but unfortunately because of ‘budget cuts’ the fan page was axed and replaced by a page of adverts!?

Many fans have commented just how much they liked and enjoyed the stories so a’ve decided to rezzarect ‘The Geordie Times’ for a thord time and publish mee aan away match reports from the past and the present, as in the programme

Frequency of  'The Geordie Times Online'
1: Visit to a new ground (compulsary!)
2: When sommik gans competleee wrang (quite often!)
3: When 'The Toon' win a 'major'? trophy (very rarely!)

At least ONE story per new groond will be included and as a’v been to ower 270 groonds to watch The Toon it will tek iz quite a lang time to ‘de them aall’

<(Many many moons infact!)

No stone will be left untorned (I repeat!) No! stone! will be left untorned in our quest to give our huge and loyal reeedership the quality production that they dizorve (aall ten of you!)

‘The Geordie Times’ has been re-born yet again and the rest (as they say!) is historeeee!


©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)

St.  James'  Park, Newcastle----view  from  The  Milburn  Stand  lookin'  towards  The  Leazes  End
GROUND 'MATCH REPORTS' ? PUBLISHED ON THIS SITE (SO FAR!) (archive reports updated twice a fortneet!)

086 Dens Park-Dundee (latest post) 

001 St James' Park-Newcastle (1st ground)
002 Joker Park-5under1and (1st away ground)
004 Highbury-Arsenal (new ground)
009 Upton Park-West Ham (new ground)
011 Highfield Road-Coventry (new ground)
022 Bramall Lane-Sheffield (new ground)
044 Shielfield Park-Berwick (new ground)
045 The Den-Millwall (new ground)
055 Home Park-Plymouth (2010 visit) (trophy trail special report!)
069 Palmerston Park-Queen of the South (new ground)
070 Easter Road-Hibernian (new ground) 
078 Ferens Park-Durham (new ground)
102 Roots Hall-Southend (new ground)
109 Porta Elisa-Lucchese-Italy (new ground)
110 Stadio San Nicola-Bari-Italy (new ground)
215 Killingworth Young Persons Centre-Walker Central (new ground)
247 Riazor Stadium-La Coruna-Spain (2010 visit) (trophy trail special report!)
255 Whaddon Road-Cheltenham (new ground)
273 Don Valley-Sheffield (new ground)
274 Liberty Stadium-Swansea (new ground)
275 Crown Ground-Accrington (new ground)
276 Champions Hill Stadium-Dulwich (new ground) 
plus:A to Z Geordie glossary of terms (for the benefit of 'non Geordie' bloggers)
Still to do-----quite a few! (watch this space!)


Friday 7 January 2011

215 killingworth young persons centre ( walker central)

Date of First Visit: 10th AUGUST 2002

NEWCASTLE UNITED U17's 3 (Howe, Smillie, Stoker)

ATTENDANCE: 55 (Estimated)(Includin' 2 'Dyno-Rod' gadgies cleanin' the drains!)

Game One:

"Lets make some NOISE!"

The usual 'saddos' who gan to these games were here---'Biffa' from the pirate website, Dave from York, 'The Mad Professor , Mark from Morpeth, 'Byzy' from 'Pit Yakka Land (Ashington!) and of course 'The Caped Crusader' in his new suit.
(The aad one got ruined in the rain in a pre season friendly in Holland!---but that's another story!)
( groond 213!) But stangely there was nee sign of Glennn from Ashington, the epic 'feet on the groond' Toon Traveller!?.(ie: flyin' iz NOT his fave pastime!)
(Perhaps he'd aalready set off on his bus trip tih Bosnia on the followin' Wednesday??) (where the forst team were playin' next!)

The game kicked off at 11:58 bells (two minutes orly!) and the Toon kicked towards the reet hand goal for the forst 'half', or so wih thought! (read on!)
The forst qwaata of an hour was'nt much cop and the most interestin' part of this period was the sight of two gadgies from 'Dyno-Rod' cleanin' oot a blocked drain next tih the changin' rooms!.

However!---ten minutes later the game livened up when Walker scored the openin' goal with a well drilled shot, and a CRASHENDO OF NOISE enveloped the groond---(ER!---NOT! from the Walker diehards in the 53 strong crowd I may add, but from the drain cleanin' machine! which was mekin' a strange loud 'gurglin' soond in the backgroond!

Three minutes after this the ref inexplicably blew up for half time, but az there'd anly been half an hours play up till then wih thought that his Timex must have been gannin' fast!---OR!--(more than likely!) he wanted a quick finish so that he could have a few gargels doon his local booza!?
The surprize orly whistle seemed tih wake the Toons kids up and three minutes after the restart they levelled the score when Howe sloted the baall yem with a fine effort tih light applause from the 'crowd' (The Dyno-Rod gadgies had f***** off by this time!)
This provoked a furious response from the Walker Central coach who struck a canny likeness to that 'Mag' fanzine hero, 'Walker Dan', ie: he was fat and ugly and had more chins than a Chinese telephone directory!. (If it's any consolation mate--so do I!---so do I!)
Sometime later Smillie put the smile on wor faces when he put the Toon 2-1 up after 57 minutes and
it should be noted that 'Walker Dan' had an 'upside doon' smile on HIS moniker by this time!

There was ne programme or team sheets for this game, but wi'd got most of the outfield players names but NOT the goalie's and when one of the subs waalked past us to start his 'warm up','The Mad Professor' asked him what the keeper was caalled.
"DIVVINT NAA!", came the reply from 'super-sub' az he limbered up on the touchline!.(aa meeen!—if one of the keeper's team mates didn't naa what he was caalled then what F***** chance did we have of findin' oot!?) (By the way!---we didn't naa what 'super-sub's name was eetha and forgot to ask him!?!?) (but!---(we assumed) that HE probably knew his OWN name though?) <hopefully!

Three minutes after this the ref blew for full time and we prepered tih gan yem---but NO!---the teams torned aroond again and we kicked off for a THIRD period of the game?.
'The Mad Professor' commented, "IT'S THE FORST HALF OF THE THIRD THIRD!". (What he meant was- that he thought it was fifteen minutes each way for the third period!?)
'The Caped Crusader'' then butted in, "THE THIRD HALF SHOULD BE TWO QWAATAS!"
By this time ah was f***** totally and utterly confused!, but sure enough the ref blew after fifteen minutes and they changed roond again!!---(HELP!)

A Walker equaliser in the 4th half after 83 mins put the smile back the reet way on 'Dans' face, but this was premature az Stoker heeded the Toon back in front a minute later!.
Six minutes later the ref blew for the end of the match (and YES! it was full time THIS time!) and we aall went away happy (apart from yee naa who!)-----and just for the record---

the forst half score was 1-0 tih Walker---
the second third was 1-0 tih the Toon---
the third qwaata was goaless
and the forth third was 1-1
and Newcastle won 3-2!.
The crowd totals were az follows:
Far-side 6,
Wor-side 44,
reet hand goal 3,
left hand goal 0,
PLUS! the 2 Dyno-Rod gadgies! (WHO! could forget THEM!?)
-----givin' a grand total attendance of 55! totally confused spectators!.

Game Two:

And so!, afta droppin' Dave from York off at the 'Central' tih catch his train yem, (to 'YORK' would you believe?) it was a mad dash tih park mee van up before ah heeded to another match and gan on the drink !
Ah decided tih tek in Dunston Fed's friendly aginst Workington Reds at Federation Park and arrived in the clubhoose at 2:20 bells!.

Ah said tih the bemused committee man behind the bar!
"AH THINK YEEV HAD TOO MUCH BROON ALE BONNY LAD!", came the reply az he stared intih mee 'mincers'!.
Ah thought aboot explainin' to him aboot the game at 'Killy'---BUT!---ah had second thoughts! when ah thought aboot it?


"AARRRR!" "RIP!-RIP!" (the soond of me tearin' mee hair oot!)

For the record, Dunston won 4-1 and they anly played TWO HALF'S!?

©Fink™(the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)

Sunday 2 January 2011

110 stadio san nicola bari italy

Date of First Visit: 8th DECEMBER 1992

A.S. BARI  3

ATTENDANCE 1,229 (200 (or so) Toon fans)



(Day One)

Followin' on from wor 'Blue Ridge Moontain' trip tih Lucchese fower weeks orlier in the same competition, again the fans flew with the players, but this time we were booked intih a different hotel tih them? (ah wonder why?) (see groond 109!)
Bari iz in southern Italy and iz situated on the 'heel of the boot' (see a map of Italy!) and their new stadium was built on the site of a shrine tih 'St. Nicholas' (hence the groonds name) on the ootskirts of the city, for the 1990 World Cup.

This time we were kept well oot the way of the official party who had the front of the plane tih themsels and the curtains were draan so we could'nt catch a glimpse of wor heroes!.
Again it cost us the 'tidy' sum of £350 (quite a bit in 1992) for the priverlidge of travellin' with the team but it was worth it just for the experience!

On arrival at Bari airport we were put on seperate coaches and travelled in different directions az wih 'hit' the road for wor respective hotels. (Once bitten twice shy?)
This time there could be nee excuses from the players for not gettin' a good neets kip, especially as the kidda who had caused aall the mayhem in the corridors of wor hotel in Luccese (ie Baaldy Bonce) wasn't on this trip (again---see groond 109!)

In complete contrast to wor 'quiet moontain retreat' in Lucchese this hotel was bang in the middle of the city centre with car horns beepin' and general traffic noise from the mad Italian drivers!
The gadgie behind the reception desk was 'the spit' of Manuel off 'Fawlty Towers', but!---it couldn't have been him of course as this one was of the Italian variety and not Spanish! (and not! as daft---I may add!)
Italians are not big drinkers and this was reflected in the sparse number of places that yi could get a 'gargel' in Bari city centre, which is aboot the same size as 'The Toon'
Ice cream parlours are very popular ower there and a few of them selt beers and lagers as well as the 'Mr Whippy' specials that were the locals favourites--- SO!--- that's where we had to heed for!

Some of the parlours just had bottled lagers but there were a few with beer pumps stuck next to the ice cream taps. A romantic neet oot here is to tek your lass for a 'Ninety Nine special' complete with flakes, wafers and aall the strawberry add ons! And it was a weird 'culture shock' to say the least to see them holdin' hands as they sucked on their 'icy delights' as we supped wor own 'icy delights'---namely! ice caad lagers!

After we'd done 'The Parlour Craall' it was back to the hotel for a few 'night-caps' in the ('ice cream free'!) bar before retirin' to wor rooms for a good neets shut eye! (let's hope the players are deein' the same?—aa thought!) "ZZZZzzzz!!!!"

(Day Two)

The second day was of course 'match day' and after continental 'brekkies' and a few 'ice creams' in the local parlours (not!) it was time to heed for the busses to tek wih to the match. Aa was really lookin' forward to gannin' here as it was a 'state of the art' 60,000 seater stadium which just two years before had hosted England in 'Italia 90' where they lost 2-1 to Italy in the thord place play off in a near capacity crowd.

Like aa say, the groond was a 'canny hike', some six miles away on the ootskirts of Bari and after half an hours drive! in heavy 'horn "beeeeeepin" traffic alang the ooter ring road, we spotted the stadium in the distance and it was an impressive sight---aa can tell yiz! It looked like a huge flyin' saucer from outer space and as we got nearer aa couldn't help wonderin' if a Martian with a ray gun would suddenly appear from a concealed doorway and demand to be taken to wor leader! (these ice cream parlours de have a funny effect on yi brain cells!)

It was built in the middle of newhere with scrubland as a backdrop and like Lucchese the place was deserted as we disembarked from the coaches. However!--- as we surveyed the suroondings we spotted, not a Martian, but some 'Bari Ultras' who were waitin' for the stadium doors to open.

A quick 'chinwag' in broken Italian ("are yi aall reet lads!") broke the ice and aa managed ti swop a Toon badge for a Bari equivalent as aa collected badges at the time.

Like aa say there was nowt there apart from the groond and some scrubland (ne 'ice cream parlours'---NOTHIN'!) so when the gates opened 'in we went' to the bowels of 'the Saucer'

The stadium was a huge bowl with green seats in the lower tier and yellow seats in the upper tier (very strange as Bari play in red and white?) and looked much larger than it's 60,000 capacity
(There aad groond--- incidetleee!---was in the city centre and was used (believe it or not!? >) as a refugee camp for *20,000 Albanians in 1991!) and they anly moved to 'The Flyin' Saucer' in 1990 after the World Cup) (*now that's anotha piece of 'useless information' yi naa now!?)

Again, like Lucchese there were aboot 200 Toon fans who had made the trip and we were situated in the main stand, 'The Ultras' had aboot the same number in 'The Curva Nord' (that's 'The North Stand' by the way!) and are known as 'The Galletti' (Roosters) and they were tryin' their best to mek a racket (with oot much success as the groond was nearly empty!) To wor reet there were some gaps in the upper tier where seats had been ripped oot by rival Roma fans in a previous match (so we were telt) and there were aboot 100 fans dotted aboot the huge 'Curva Sud' (Sooth Corve!)
Opposite the main stand a few hundred others in the centre section made up the 'crowd' on wot looked like 1,000 or so! (That's 59,000 empty seats by my reckonin'!) (The Italians reely took this tournament to their hearts---didn't they!)

We obviously didn't tek the tournament 'to heart' eetha as we put in a dreadful performance and were one-nil doon afta anly 5 minutes when Cappocchiano slotted home. He added a 2nd on the half hour mark to give the 'Roosters' a two-nil lead at the interval with fire crakers bein' set of by The Ultras which echoed around the 'empty' stadium.
We played a little bit better in the second period but with just 2 minutes left a Tovalieri goal put the game beyond doubt to give us a three goal drubbin' and at the end 'The Toon' players looked 'oot on their feet'! (perhaps wor players didn't get any sleep after aall, like in Lucchese?) (But they couldn't blame 'Baaldy Bonce' this time!------could they?)

(Day Three)

It was 'yem time' on wor thord day and we were reunited with players and Keegan 'The Messiah' at Bari Airport where we had to wait for a delayed flight back to 'Toon Airport. 'The Messiah' to his credit came ower and taalked to us for nearly half an hour, mentionin' that 'certain players' who had played would not be in his future plans! (as they signed autographs!)
He would have talked to us for langer but 'the press' wanted some quotes from him and his partin' comment to us was that, "this was the bit he didn't like!" ( ie: taalkin' to the jawnalists, especially after a 3-0 defeat!)

To sum up---it was a fantastic experience to travel with the team again----but NOT! such a fantastic result!

©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)