BAD BLUE BOYS v TOON X1 OLD BOYS *** THIS AFTERNOON @ '2 BELLS'

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 31st August 2014

FEDERATION PARK

This afternoon @ Federation Park, Dunston the home side are takin on an 'old boys' NUFC X1 in a charity game for two local bairns.

The match iz in aid of 3 year old Amber who suffers from cerebral palsy and 5 year old Neve who iz battlin' cancer

Ex Toon player who will be takin' the field include: Tino Asprilla, Steve Howey, John Anderson, Stewie Elliott and Alan Shoulder and The Bad Blue Boys will be represented by their 2012 FA Vase winnin' side!

Admission iz just £1 for big kids and 50p for bairns and the new extended clubhoose will be open shorty---az aa speak!

Get yerselz alang and support the bairns if at aall possible!

Update: Dunston won 5-2 in front of a 550 crowd.
Tino Asprilla scored from the spot for 'The Toon Old Boys'

'GEORDIE TIMES' EXCLUUUSIVE!
TINO (NUMBER 11 IN YELLOW) SCORES FROM THE SPOT!



THE TOON 3 THE CRYSTAL BALLS 3 *** PREMYAA LEAGUE 2014-2015

Posted '10:10am bells' Sunday 31st August 2014


A TRIBUTE TO JOHN AND LIAM IN 'THE BLACK BULL'


The day started off at 'The Black Bull' on Barrack Road (where John 'The Undertaker' drank pre match) and then onward to 'The Leazes Club', (where Liam 'from the Lamp' drank) before makin' wor way to the 'Alder Sweeney Memorial' which had just been opened the day before in the presence of both families.
We laid a black rose and a white rose on the memorial in honour of both super fans and stood in reflection before heedin' for the tornstiles.

From the word 'go' we shot worsels in the foot by concedin' a goal at The Gallowgate End with barely 30 SECONDS on the clock in wot waz to prove an error ridden game!

The goal sequences were az follows:

30 seconds: A strike from Gayle gives the visitors the lead after Tim Krul failed to hold a shot from Chamkh! *** 0-1 !

37th minute: Janmaat scores at The Gallowgate End in a scrambled effort to score hiz forst goal for The Toon *** 1-1 !

48th minute: 'The Crystal Balls' retake the lead just after the re-start through a Puncheon volley, with The Toon's defence in array! ***1-2 !

73rd minute: Super sub Rolando Aarons brings us back to 'level torms' az he rises to a heeder which beats the Palace keeper 'aall ends up'! *** 2-2 !

88th minute: Aarons skims a defender to cross for Mike Williamson to poke home wot waz surely the winner az the roof lifts off the ground! *** 3-2 !

95th minute: WRANG!----Zaha breaks wor hearts with an equaliser 5 minutes into injury time, much to the delight of the 1,500 Crystal Balls follower high in 'level 7' of  'The Leazes End'! *** 3-3 ! final score!

Verdict: We chucked it away against a poor Palace team!---It looks like anothaa lang hard season for us to endure once again!

Games played: 3 *** games won: 0 *** points won: 2 *** points dropped: 7 !

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat (Anita 79), Coloccini, Williamson, Haidera, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella, De Jong (Perez 79), Gouffran (Aarons 67), Riviere

Attendance: 49,226 (1,500 Crystal Balls)  The crowd waz much bigger than wot we expected includin' the away contingent!

'BAR LOCO' IN LEAZES PARK ROAD *** NE EXPLANATION NEEDED!

   

MEMORIAL GARDEN OPENS

Posted '2:10pm bells' Friday 29th August 2014

News that a memorial garden in honour of Liam and John haz been opened near the main entrance to St James' Park

A match report from Gillingham will finally follow sometime on Sunday, az aa simply havvent had time to de the game which waz played last Tuesday, due to work commitments and a few othaa things ---Apologies for that!

A match report from wor game with Palace tomorrow at St James' will aalso follow sometime on Sunday!

THE TOON U21s 5 THE BISCUITMEN U21s 2 ***FA RESERVE LEEGUE

Posted '7:28pm bells' Monday 25th August 2014

"BISCUITMEN CRUMBLE TO TOON PRESSURE!"

On a sunny afternoon in downtown Benton 'The Toon's U21' side overcame an orly onslaught, where we were 1-0 doon after just 30 seconds of the game and 2-0 doon not lang after to *The Biscuitmen of Reading! *(Reading were known az 'The Biscuitmen' many moons ago when a huge biscuit factory used to dominate their toon!) <(so 'biscuitmen' it iz!)

However!---The Toon soon recovered from this orly setback and rallied to bring the scores back level at half time through goals from Adam Armstrong and Sammy Ameobi! 

Armstrong completed hiz hat-trick in the 2nd period with Ben Arfa gettin' the other to complete an unexpected torn around @ The Blue Flames Sports Groond in front of 415 hardy souls!

The crossbar waz aalso rattled on several occasions in this entertainin' bank holiday fixture!

After the match me and 'The Mad Professor' celebrated wildleee in 'The Ship' on Front Street! <(whey!--one pint 'a piece' anyway!)

Tomorrow neet we face Gillingham in Kent for a forst team fixture in the Leegue Cup 2nd roond and we can anly hope that wor manager fields a strong team or else we will be dumped oot of this competition once again by so caalled 'inferior opposition'!

We leave at '10 bells' in the mornin' and a full match report on this shud be forthcomin' in the next few days!

Watch this space intentleeee--- az per usual!

TOON U21s v THE BISCUITMEN U21s *** THIS AFTERNOON!

Posted '11:07am bells' Monday 25th August 2014

This afternoon at wor Benton base (Blue Flames) we take on Readin' @ '1:00 bells' and we will bring yi a match report later on toneet!



Admission iz FREE to season ticket holders and members!

So if yi ganni yi'd better get yi skates on!--like!

THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLIANS 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Updated '10:15am bells' Monday 25th August 2014

"THE SAME OLD STORY!"


"38 TICKETS TO RIDE!" (A WORLD RECORD--PERHAPS?)


We boarded the direct train to Bormingham New Street from 'The Central @ '6:15 am bells' and 'Sarnie Steve' produced a 'mind bogglin' 38 train tickets for just 3 of us!, az he had booked from (wait for it!), The Toon to Darlo, Darlo to York, York to Derby and finally Derby to Bormingham! (PLUS the retorn tickets!)
The reason for this waz that it worked oot at £20 cheaper each to book short journey tickets, than it waz to simply booked straight through! (see top foto for proof!)

On arrival at 'New Street' we heeded for 'The Briar Rose' Wetherspoons boozer for the forst 'liquid refreshments' before movin' on to wor 'fave haunt' doon here, which waz 'The Wellington' real ale boozer up the hill from the station!

With a 12:45 bells' kick off. it waz soon time to heed for 'Villa' and we arrived in good time before the kick off! <(not like us normally!)

Huge gaps in the seatin' in the home sections greeted us az we took up wor standin' positions in the top corner of the away stand and aa estimated that there could be no more than 25,000 in Villa Park az the game kicked off!


A lack of 'bite' proved to be costly for The Toon, az again we failed to find the net, despite several good chances to win the game!

Yoan Goffran had wor forst chance near the far post at 'The Holte End' but sliced hiz shot into the crowd!
It waz then the torn of Remy Cabella who shot just wide when he shud have scored!


VILLA FANS UNVEIL A TRIBUTE BANNER TO LIAM AND JOHN
IN 'THE HOLTE END' (CENTRE OF PICTURE)
"CHEERS LADS AND LASSES!"


In the 17th minute the whole groond had given 'Flight MH17' victims John and Liam a thunderous roond of applause in honour of them, and we thank the Villa fans for unveilin' a tribute banner in 'The Holte End', a magnificent gesture towards wor great friends!

In the 31st minute a miracle happened?--when!---we had wor forst shot on target of the season so far! (we had none against Man City last week!) --when Emmanual Riviere jinked past two defenders but hiz weak shot waz easily saved by Guzan in the Villa goal!

It waz 0-0 at half time az the teams trooped off and we wished we had stayed in 'The Welly'!

The 2nd period waz a bit better and we shud have won the game az Daryl Jamaat shot ower the bar and then Mike Williamson fluffed an easy chance! 
Jamaat then heeded narrowly ower the bar while sub Siem De Jong shud have scored at the end, but shot straight at the keeper when it looked certain he would score!

THE TOON LINE UP A FREE KICK (2nd HALF)

Then to cap it aall Williamson got himself 'sent off' for a 2nd bookable offence!

One point from six so far and ne goals in two games!---az we said at the top of this page: "It's the same old story!"

Toon team: Krul, Jamaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett, Anita (De Jong 70), Colback, Sissoko, Cabella, Gouffran, Riviere (Perez 77) > (Steve Taylor 92)

Attendance: 30,267 < (they must have included ticket holders who didn't torn up?) (2,800 Toon fans)

*VILLA PUB CRAWL PIX (THREE!)

THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLIANS v THE TOON *** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted '9:50pm bells' Friday 22nd August 2014


ACTION FROM THE TOON'S GAME @ VILLA PARK LAST SEASON
*** A 2-1 VICTORY TO 'US'!


Wor forst competitive away game of the new campaign takes us to deepest Bormingham on Saturday when we take on Villa in a live TV game (12:45 kick off)

If we play like we did on Sunday we have a chance, but just who will score the goals for us iz anybodys guess???
(We had NE shots on target against The Blue Moonies on Sunday!)

A proven striker must be wor top priority before the 'window closes' at the end of the month!
Ne team news yet,but fear not!--'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo it az soon az we find oot!?

Not suprizingleee we have sold wor entire allocation of 2,800 tickets!

Forst port o call will be 'The Wellington' near Bormingham New Street Train Station which won 'The Geordie Times' 'pub of the year award ' last season!---Happy drinkin' "Hic!"

A full Geordie Times match report to follow sometime on Sunday!

"FAREWELL LIAM!"

Posted '9:27pm bells' Friday 22nd August 2014

Liam 'from the Lamp' waz finally laid to rest yesterday, five weeks since the fateful MH17 flight waz shot doon ower the Ukraine.

Members of NUFC includin' Alan Pardew, Fab Coloccini and former captain Bob Moncur were in attendance at a packed St Mary's Cathedral in Newcastle city centre.

We now await any news of John 'The Undertaker' who waz with Liam on that ill fated flight between Amsterdam and Malaysia, to try and bring some 'closure' to this tragic event!

RIP LIAM and JOHN ---You will never ever be forgotten by us!

LIAM'S FUNERAL SERVICE *** CORRECTION

Posted '11:57 am bells' Wednesday 20th August 2014

We told you that Liam's funeral service was at 10:30 tomorrow mornin' at St Mary's Catherdral in Clayton Street West (opposite Central Station)
In fact the service starts at 10:00 am

Thanks to 'Dave from York' for pointin' my error out to me!

THE TOON 0 THE BLUE MOONIES 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '9:59pm bells' Monday 18th August 2014

WREATHS ARE LAID IN THE CENTRE CIRCLE IN HONOUR OF JOHN AND LIAM

On an emotional afternoon where tributes were made on the pitch before the match to both Liam and John by the two team captains, ex SAFC keeper Jimmy Montgomery and both families of the MH17 air disaster, plus SAFC fan Gary Ferguson who amazingly raised so much money from hiz own fans in response to the tragic events, brought tears to my eyes az wreaths were laid in the centre circle!
These diehard fans will of course never be forgotten by us and a memorial garden named in their honour will shortly be opened by the main entrance stairs to The Milburn Stand!

We came oot with aall guns blazin' but in reality the Leegue Champions were just tooo good for us on the day <(yet again for the 11th time in a row!)

In aall we had six debutants playin' in wor 'aall new' black n white stripes and they tried their hardest to make the breakthrough, but the stats of NE shots on goal in the entire game showed most definatly where we are faallin' short!

In the 17th minute a tumultuous  round of applause from both the 47,000 Toon fans and the 3,100 City fans housed in 'Level 7 of The Leazes End' for the flight MH17 victims, rang aroond St James' in a fittin tribute to both loyal supporters!

The Blue Moonies then started to dominate the game and they made the inevitable breakthrough came in the 38th minute when Silva shot underneath the body of Tim Krul @ The Gallowgate End to put the visitors in the drivin seat!

We tried wor best in the 2nd half az well, but City held the fort az an equaliser looked in vain from us!
The Blue Moonies then doubled their lead deep into injury time when Aguero beat Tim Krul after wor keeper parried a shot straight to him!---and he didn't miss! 

Verdict: We didn't play that bad, but we definatly need a quality striker!---ne doubt aboot that---like! 

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett, Colback, Anita (Obertan 63), Sissoko, Cabella, Gouffran (Aarons 74), Riviere (Perez 84)

Attendance: 50,816 (3,100 'Blue Moonies' who respected the minutes silence and supported the 17th minute applause to Liam and John!) <(thanx lads and lasses yoo did your club proud!)    

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONIES *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '9:44am bells' Sunday 17th August 2014

It will be a very sombre St James' Park this afternoon when we take on the Leegue Champions @ '4 bells', az tributes to both John and Liam will be made before the match.

The two club captains Fab Coloccini and Vincent Kompany will lay wreaths in the centre circle accompanied by members of both their families and former SAFC goalie Jimmy Montgomery to represent the major contribution that their fans have made to the various funds raised to help the families at this tragic time.

This will then be followed by a minutes silence in their memory.

Both John 'The Undertaker' and Liam 'from the Lamp' were of course great friends of ours and so az you can imagine it will be a very emotional time this afternoon for us, and of course, for aall who are true futbaall fans, whatever their persuasion!

RIP Liam and John!----

A full match report will follow sometime toneet or tomorrow neet, when aa get time

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)  

mackem u18s v THE TOON U18s *** 1st DERBY OF THE SEASON! *** THIS MORNIN'!

Posted 'bells' Saturday 16th August 2014

 ACTION FROM THE 'A.O.S.' IN 2012 ***
DENNIS KNIGHT SCORES FROM THE SPOT
(THE TOON WON 3-2!)
(SEE GROUND 284 IN RIGHT HAND TOOL BAR 'ARCHIVE GROONDS LIST'!
OR SCROLL DOON TO BOTTOM OF PAGE AND 'CLICK')

In less than 30 minutes time wor U18s take on their mackem equivalents @ The Acadamy of SSsshhh (Yee Naa Wot?) in Cleadon nr mackemland.
So if yoo planned on gannin yi'd better 'get your skates on'!

We will of course bring yoo wor loyal reeeders the result when we find oot!---watch this space!


Updated 1:25pm bells' Saturday

The Toon U18s, playin' in that wretched grey away strip once again, lost 2-1 to the mackems with wor anly goal comin' through Sean Longstaff who rifled the baall home for an equaliser in the 74th minute.
The home side had taken the lead 4 mins before the break and they won it through a soft goal in the 83rd minute.

LIAM'S FUNERAL NEXT THURSDAY

Updated '11:00pm bells' Thorsday 14th August 2014

News that Liam's family have returned from Holland with him have been confirmed and hiz funeral will be held in Newcastle next Thursday mornin'
A service will be held at St Mary's Cathedral in Clayton Street West, Newcastle next Thursday @ 10:00am. (Over the road from The Central Station)

There iz still no news of John az the Dutch forensic team are still tryin' to identify the remains of victims of flight MH17

RIP Liam and John!*** You will never be forgotten by us!

GILLS v THE TOON *** TUESDAY 26th *** AZ PREDICTED BY 'THE GEORDIE TIMES'!

Posted '11:35am bells' Friday 15th August 2014

Accordin' to the BBC website, wor away Leegue Cup tie against Gillingham will take place on Tuesday 26th August az predicted by 'The Geordie Times' <(conspiracy theories excepted!---see artice below!) with a '7:45 bells' kick off time!
Yoo read this news forst in 'The Geordie Times' and nee where else! <(er! apart from the BBC website that iz!)

*** CONSPIRACY THEORY NUMBER ONE! ***

Posted '10:18am bells' Friday 15th August 2014

Yesterday, followin' the Leegue Cup draw, 'The Geordie Times' said that we were CERTAIN that wor game against Gillingham would be one of the games picked for live telly---and so what happens???---'SKY' have chosen the 'unattractive' tie between MK Dons and Man U, plus the 'meaningless' local derby between Bradford and Leeds for live transmition!

There definitely IZ! a 'conspiracy theory' against 'The Geordie Times'!

Ne confirmation of wor dates have been announced yet, but we are CERTAIN!???  the game will take place on Tuesday 26th August <(but divvint haad yer breath!) <(Conspiracy theory number TWO comin' up---perhaps?)    

MOOR MISERY @ SPENNY!

Posted '11:27am bells' Thorsday 14th August 2014

Clad in that horrible grey away strip 'a Toon X1' lost 4-1 v Spennymoor Toon last neet @ Brewery Field.
It waz a poor display on wor part with The Northern Premier Leegue outfit runnin' oot easy winners!

Tom Heardman got wor anly goal with an easy tap-in after 14 minutes in front of a 668 crowd

GILLS AWAY IN LEEEGUE CUP!

Posted 10:00pm bells' Wednesday 13th August 2014

The Toon have drawn Gillingham away in the Leegue Cup!
For a change yoo read this news forst in 'The Geordie Times' and nee-where else! 
The tie will be played week commencing 25th August! 

Keep the faith!


Update '10:47am bells' Thorsday 14th August 2014

This tie looks the most attractive for live telly (havin' seen the rest of the draw) and we are CERTAIN! that it will be picked for live transmission on eetha Monday 25th, Tuesday 26th or Wednesday 27th August!

Az for mee aan 'mad-sad groundhoppers' record, The Priestfield Stadium iz the last Leegue groond that still exists in England that aa havvent been at some point to watch The Toon, since aa started gannin to away games in 1967!
We played them for the one and anly time doon at their place in 1976 when we won in the League Cup, with Tommy Cassidy <(who frequents a certain hostelry in High Bridge quite often!) and Paul Cannell scorin' wor goals in front of an 11,000 plus crowd that neet <(but not includin' me!)

PS: THREE BLACK MARKS against me!----Aa wasn't at Southport in 1968 or Bury in 1980 for Leegue Cup ties but have since visited them for NUFC resorve games----Aa wasn't at Layer Road, Colchester eetha in 1982 for an FA Cup tie (won 4-3) but that groond nee langer exisists az they have moved on to 'pastures new'!

JAWMANY CALLING!

Posted '2:07pm bells' Wednesday 13th August 2014

At last! ---more than a week late aa have finally completed the match reports from the Schalke 04 Tournament in Jawmany!
(see below!)

308 veltins arena gelsenkirchen germany

Ground number 308

Date of First Visit: 2nd August 2014

Veltins Arena, Gelsenkirchen, Germany

Malaga (Spain) 3
Newcastle United 1 (Obertan)

Schalke 04 Cup

Attendance: 15,704 (800 Toon fans) (8 to 10 Malaga fans!)

"SPIRITS IN THE SKY TOUR OF JAWMANY 2014!"

BOTH JOHN AND LIAM ARE UP THERE SOMEWHERE!

(Day One, Friday)
"THIS PLACE REELY 'TAX' THE BISCUIT!"

We started off wor jorney to Teesside at 'The Central' where we caught the train to Darlo and then onward by taxi to 'Smog Airport' (it waz ower £100 cheaper to fly to from there than from 'Toon Airport'!)

We went with heavy hearts az one of wor party of 4 , namely John 'The Undertaker' waz one of the victims of flight MH17 which got shot doon ower the Ukraine!
'Liam from the Lamp' who waz aalso with John on the ill fated flight, had been due to travel a different route to Jawmany and wor thoughts were with him az well!

On arrival at the airport we made straight for the 'check in' where a grumpy old gadgie demanded wor "Airport tax tickets!", az he snapped at 'Big Al' <(not! the sheet metal workers son!)

"Wot are yi on aboot --like?", replied Big Al
"You needed to pay £6 each for airport tax!" az he pointed towards a ticket machine in the distance!
(Toon Airport doesn't charge anythin'--by the way!)

We paid wor 'tax' <(robbin' bustards!) and made wor way in to the departure lounge.
There waz ne sign of a bar so we asked a lassie in a shop where it waz!
She pointed us in the reet direction but warned us that it waz FIFTEEN QUID to get into 'the lounge', but then it waz 'drink/eat az much az yoo like!
We still had nearly two hours til the flight left and so we heeded for 'the lounge'
The lassie who waz standin' at a desk just in side the door telt us that infact the price had just gone up that day and demanded TWENTY ONE QUID! to get in!!!! <(if this isn't daylight robbery then aa divvint naa wot iz!?)
"Stuff it!", we said to hor---"We'll just gan T total!"(or words to that effect!)

After bitin' wor nails for nearly two hours we finally left on wor forst flight to Amsterdam and then onwards to Dusseldorf where we were based!

After hoyin' wor bags in the Hotel Acon, we made a 'bee-line' for the 'old town' where aall the bars were!

ESPIRIT ARENA * FORTUNA DUSSELDORF

We'd decided to take in an extra game and heeded for the tourist office forst and bought tickets for Fortuna Dusseldorf v Braunsweig <(hope av spelt that reet?) who were playin' that neet!---so after a few more 'liquids' we heeded for their stadium on the ootskirts of Dusseldorf where the home side drew 2-2 in an entertainin game in front of 41,000 <(for a 2nd division match!)

It waz then back to the 'old town' to 'finish off' the day

A few West Ham were there and it looked az though it waz gannin' to 'kick off' az we made wor way aroond! (just why 'us' and 'The Jellied Eels Mob' were invited to this tournament iz puzzlin', az of course their iz still 'bad blood' between us from the fire bomb incident 34 years ago!)

A few liquid refreshments later and it waz time to heed back to the hotel and 'bedeee byes'! ---"ZZZZzzzz!!!!"---'Day One' ower!


('Day Two' Saturday)
"WISH A'D BROUGHT MEE BROLLY!"

"WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME!?"

Today's game which kicked off at '3:30 bells' waz the forst match  in the Schalke 04 Tournament and wor opponents were Malaga of Spain. We started off the day with a continental brekky in the hotel consistin of (in my case!) some boiled ham and cheese, a bread bun and fower hard boiled eggs, washed doon with a bowl of cornflakes and milk! ("BBburrppp!")

A quick wash n brush up later and we were oot on 'the hoy' again in Dusseldorf centre. It waz then onward on a half hour train ride to Gelsenkirchen where the groond waz situated and where Schalke 04 play their home games.

On departure from the train we were 'greeted' by a line of dibbles complete with crash helmets, lang sticks and a few 'black maria' vans! (or in this case, grey!) <(welcome to Jawmany!)

They prevented us gannin to the main square and were tryin' to usher us on the busses and trams that went to the groond!


"THE 99s ARE ON ME!"

Quick thinkin' waz needed and so we sneaked behind a bus and wandered off aimlessly doon the street away from the line of dibbles. We went roond the block in a 'pincer movement' and came oot at the top of the square where an 'Ice Cream Parlour' sat on the corner!---It selt BEER! and so 'in we went' to consume vast quantities of the local brew!

Then it waz time to heed for the groond and we went through the line of dibbles still guardin' the station az they looked at us in puzzlement az to just how we managed to get past them! <(Yi'll never stop the Geordies gettin' a drink!)

It waz then a torturous half hour tram jorney to the groond <(aall Jawman groonds are miles from their city centres!) but the tram (and train) rides were 'in' with the ticket price of 13 euros which made it a bargain (compare that with English prices!?)

'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham were playin' in the 2nd game against hosts Schalke 04 and they were milling around the beer kiosks az we entered wor section of the groond.
We were segregated from them by a thin blue striped tape, but yoo could simply waalk around the back of the concourse and gan where the hell yi liked!

Aboot 800 Toon fans were in wor section az the game kicked off and straight away Malaga were on the attack bearin' doon on wor goal time and time again! (Malaga had between 8 and 10 fans in the groond by the way!)


SPIRITS IN THE SKY
BOTH JOHN AND LIAM WOULD BE WATCHIN' FROM ABOVE!


In the 17th minute a burst of applause broke oot in honour of Liam and John 'The Undertaker' who had been shot doon on flight MH17 ower the Ukraine just ower a week beforehand. Aall sections of the groond joined in includin' Schalke, West Ham and the 8 to10 Malaga fans! 
The stadium roof waz open at this time and both of them would have been watchin' the match from the skies above!---Wor NUFC 'Spirits in the Sky' Super Fans!

Then in the 25th minute the inevitable happened when Malaga took the lead when Darder fired in off the post from 20 yards oot, givin' Elliot in the Toon goal ne chance!

Then just 6 minutes later it waz 2-0 when a completely unmarked Castello poked the baall home from 6 yards oot! <(shockin' defendin' from us!)

It waz soon 3-0 to the Spaniards when Costello again scored after hiz shot went in off Yanga's arse!

It waz aboot this time that they closed the roof of the stadium az thunder and lightning were forecast az the skies blackened!

There waz ne way back now and in the 2nd half the main taalkin point waz when some young 'Jellied Eels' sneaked into wor section and nicked a Toon flag!

Aall hell then broke loose az Toon fans chased after them az they waved the flag in their section!


Some members of the West Ham ICF (Inter City Crew) (aged 50 and over!) then told their younger bretheren to give us wor flag back and things calmed doon!

Gabriel Obertan then gave us a consolation goal when Jack Colback gave him the baall from a short corner and 'The Angel Gabriel' jinked past two Malaga defenders to rifle the baall into the back of the net! 

We left at the final whistle optin' to give the West Ham v Schalke game a 'miss'.
Az we waalked to the tram stop in just tee shirts and jeans the thunder and lightning started and the rain came lashin' doon. (John and Liam obviously wornt too happy aboot the result!)
Luckily we weren't too far away from the tram shelter and ran the final hundred yards and didn't get too wet!
Then a bike rider appeared complete with brolly az he peddled hiz cycle ower the busy road in the torrential rain to huge roars of laughter from us! (see above foto!)

It waz then back to 'the ice cream parlour' for somemore 'liquid lubrication' (avoidin the 'dibble' once more!), before heedin back to Dusseldorf for the 'final fling'

(Day Three, Sunday)

Date of Visit: August 3rd 2014
Veltins Arena

Schalke 04  1
Newcastle United 3 (Riviere, Arrons, Cabella) 

Schalke 04 Tournament
Attendance: 20,000 (800 Toon fans)

"THE WRITINGS ON THE WALL!" 
"THE GREATEST TOON FANS OF THEM ALL!"




THE BACK WAALL OF THE TOON SECTION OF THE VELTINS ARENA***
HALF TIME ***SUNDAY ***  RIP LIAM AND JOHN!



The mornin' started off the same az the day before (breekies/washies etc) and this time we decided to heed for 'pastures new' and the toon of Essen for the pre match 'gargels', which iz just 10 mins by train from Gelsenkirchen!

The weather waz fine in Essen but there were a few worryin' dark clouds in the sky, but we are 'tough'? and had just tee shirts and jeans on again!
After dein' a few bars it waz time to heed back to the train station, but on arrival the boards said aall the trains were severely delayed for some reason?
Panic soon set in az we realised that we could miss the kick off, az we had to get a tram az well, when we got of the train.
"TAXEEEEE!"
We asked the driver how lang it would take and he said less than half an hour, so 'in we got'!  We arrived with aboot ten minutes to spare and took up wor 'usual' standin' places on the away terrace! (panic ower!)

The teams ran oot and for the 2nd day runnin' we wore wor horrible aall grey away strip! West Ham's game had finished a half hour before against Malaga (Malaga won the tournament!) and there were anly aboot 50 or so 'Jellied eels' left in their section with 'their nutters' lang departed!
The bulk of Schalke fans were in the standin' terrace behind the far goal, but they were strangely quiet?

A minutes silence (which somehow turned into applause) waz then given before the kick off, for Liam and John which waz a nice touch from Schalke

We started off much brighter this time and were on the attack from the start and the sequence of events were az follows:

17th minute: Again a roond of applause went roond the arena in memory of flight MH17

18th minute: Goal!: Rolando Arrons runs from hiz own half to cross the baall ower to Riviere who heeded home past the Schalke keeper to put us 1-0 up in front of the Toon faithful!

Half time: 1-0 to The Toon

54th minute: Rolando Aarons run doon the right hand side of the pitch and sends in a cross which beat their keeper 'aall ends up'!.
The cross hits the far post and rebounds into the net to double wor advantage! (Aarons later said "he meant it!")

72nd minute: A bad misstayk by the home defence lets in 'new boy' Ferryra and he outwitted a tackle to give the baall to anotha 'new boy' Cabella and he gleefully excepted hiz chance by pokin' the baall home past the Fahmann in the Schalke goal!---
3-0 game ower!


GEORDIE ARAB --"THE DRINKS ARE ON ME !" --LITERALLY !

 
The Toon fans then preceded to hoy beer ower each other which iz allowed onto the terraces in Jawmany. Several got soaked includin' a few Schalke fans and their bairns who were on the other side of the glass panel segregation fence! A black mark against wor fans for this, although some redeemed themsels and had a quick whip-roond to gave it to the Schalke bairns families (We are not aall stupid tw*ts who hoy beer away at 4 euros a pint!) <(ne wonder we are not allowed to bring beer into the seats in England!)

91st minute: With most of the Schalke fans departed by this time (includin' the soaked families!) they got a consolation goal at the end through Avdijaj <(hope av spelt that reet?) who heeded home from close range.
The ref then blew for full time az The Toon fans clapped the players off the pitch.

It waz then 'onwards' back to wor fave 'ice cream parlour' before retornin' to Dusseldorf for wor final session there!

Day Fower (Monday): Day fower waz spent travellin' back from Jawmany the same way we'd came and we bumped into 'Alex of St George' who just happened by complete coincidence to be sittin' next to me on the 2nd leg from Amsterdam to Smogside Airport.

He doesn't live far from the airport and he invited me and 'Big Al' to partake in a few more 'liquid refreshments' < (az though we hadn't had enough ower the last 3 days!) in hiz 'local' caalled 'The Oak Tree' which iz within 'hocklin distance' of the runway!

From there it waz a taxi back to Darlo Station and the train back to 'The Central'

Yet anothaa European adventure off the list!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

(more pix to follow ower the next few days)

   

THE TOON ARMY XX 1 THE 'REAL' DADS ARMY 0 !

Posted '11:00pm bells' Monday 11th August 2014

Wor final (and anly!) home pre season fixture of the season waz played yesterday az The Toon wor an 'aall white' number with a a black 'V shape' design on the front and we have to tell yoo that a game that waz definatleee heedin for a goal-less draw --didn't! ---az 'The Sissoko Kid' scored the anly goal of the game for us against the 'Real Dads Army' of Spain namly Real Sociedad @ St James' in front of just under 20,000 (including a total of TWO 'Daddy Cool fans'!)

The main taalkin points of the game were:

17th minute: A rapturous one minutes applause for 'The Undertaker' (The Caped Crusader) and 'Liam from the Lamp' enveloped the groond in tribute to those two super fans who's anly 'crime' waz to want to gan to New Zealand to watch their team play!---but of course they never made it due to an unspeakable terrorist act against flight MH17 from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpar ower the Ukraine! (RIP John and Liam!)
In 'The Undertaker's' case this would be the forst home game he had missed for ower 50 years, whereas hiz 'apprentice', 'Liam from the Lamp' waz just a few years into hiz 'Toon travels' <(they will both never be forgotten by aall of us!)

26th minute: New boy Daryl Janmata sets up Emmanuel Riviere but he just missed the baall for a certain goal!

60th minute: Mike Williamson gans close but 'Daddy's keeper Rulli makes a fine save from hiz bullet heeder!

87th minute: "GGGOOOAAALLLL!"--- The '|Angel Gabriel' Obertan puts in a fine cross to set up 'The Sissoko Kid' on the edge of the box and he wellies the baall past their keeper at 'The Gallowgate End' to win the game for us, az the rain p*ssed doon!

'The Geordie Times' prediction that we would use between 17 and 18 players (see below) wasn't that far off the mark az a total of 20 players were in fact used by NUFC!

Attendance: 19,188 (2 'Real' Daddys!)

"NOT! THE 'REAL' DADS ARMY!"

THE TOON v REAL SOCIEDAD *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '7:58am bells' Sunday 10th August 2014

Wor one and anly pre season friendly @ St James' Park teks place this afternoon @ '1:30 bells' when we play Spanish opposition in the shape of Real Sociedad.

We fully expect that around 17 or 18 players will be used in this game so take your new squad number list with yoo to suss oot just who iz playin'!

Very heavy rain and thunderstorms are expected so wrap up in your Toon top and jeans!

There will be a full 'Geordie Times' match report on this game ASAP

SPARTANS v TOON U21s TOONEET

Posted '2:22pm bells' Friday 8th August 2014

Tooneet wor U21s are of to Blyth to play 'The Spartans. Kick off iz at '7:30 bells' if yi fancy gannin?---but watch oot for the thunder storms---like!


Updated 1:15pm bells' Saturday 9th August 2014

The Toon ran oot 3-2 winners with wor goals comin' from Heardman, Olley and Smith in front of a 624 crowd in very wet conditions!

THE ALDER SWEENEY MEMORIAL GARDEN

Posted '9:41am bells' Friday 8th August 2014

News that NUFC are to create a memorial garden named after John and Liam ootside the main entrance to The Milburn Stand iz fantastic!
The club have been brilliant and supportive at this terrible time and on behalf of aall Toon fans we thank them from the bottom of our hearts!   RIP LIAM AND JOHN! 

'UDDERSFIELD TOON 2 A TOON XV111 2

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 6th August 2014

In total 'The Toon' used 18 players last neet in this pre season friendly in Huddersfield.

Wor goals came from new boys Riviere and Cabella.
Riviere's goal came in the 16th minute when he torned in a shot from Gouffran from 6 yards oot

The home side than scored twice to put us behind but Cabella came to wor rescue in the 80th minute with a brilliant chip ower the Huddersfield keeper to level things!

Attendance: 5,896 (1,473 Toon fans in the away section)

PS: I will endeavour to finally de the trip to Jawmany tomorrow, az I've been very busy and just haven't had the time so far!

Remember wor motto: "We will bring yoo aall the news second hand, forst!"

LIAM IDENTIFIED

Posted '11:30am bells' Wednesday 6th August 2014

Liam's family have said that he haz been positively identified and thank everybody for their very kind support in this difficult time.
There iz no news yet about John and we can only hope that he iz aalso identified soon

RIP Liam and John

SPIRITS IN THE SKY TOUR OF JAWMANY 2014

Posted 8:33am 'bells' Tuesday 5th August 2014

THE BACK WAALL OF THE TOON SECTION
OF THE VELTINS STADIUM ON SUNDAY
RIP LIAM AND JOHN!

We just got back from Dusseldorf last neet and so it may take a few days to compile the groundhoppin' match reports from the Schalke Tournament az I am very busy today!

Of course two of us were missin' from the party who checked into the 'ACON HOTEL' in the centre of Dusseldorf on Friday due to the tragic events on flight MH17

Both 'The Caped Crusader' <(John 'The Undertaker') and 'Liam from the Lamp' were there with us 'in spirit' though and I will compile the match/boozer reports az the week gans by!
The story iz in fower parts for wor fower day stay in Dusseldorf and 'part one' will appear here tomorrow sometime!?

Cheers!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

Meenwhile!--we have anothaa friendly toneet when the U21/resorve side takes on 'uddersfield Toon @ The McAlpine Stadium (7:45 ko)  and 'The Geordie Times' will have a report on this game az well (when we get time!)

Remember wor motto: "We will bring yoo aall the news forst hand, second!"