Saturday, 1 October 2022

FULIM V THE TOON

 Posted from '8:30 am bells' onwards, Saturday 1st Octobaa 2022


Due to the train strike today, we were forced to drive to a hotel in Wotfaad on the Friday for an owerneet stay!

After spending the neet in Wotfaad toon centre in torrential rain on a pub crawl (pix later) the plan woz to heed off to West London on the Metropolitan tube line on Saturday mornin for wor game v Fulim at Craven Cottage!---But not before stoppin off at a few drinkin dens on the way!

A match and booze report will appear here sometime later

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

TEAM LINR UP!





Wednesday, 28 September 2022

FULIM ITINERARY!

 Posted 'high noon ๐Ÿ””bells' Wedinzday 28th September 2022


"FULIM FURORE!"

Owing to the train strike this Saturday 'The NUFC Mad-Sad Groundhoppers' have been forced to travel doon to Wotfaad in 'Big Al's 'jam jar' on Friday (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) for wor game at Fulim in west London at '3:00 bells' on Saturday!

The plan iz to stop for the neet in Wotfaad and travel to Craven Cottage via the 'Metropolitan line' az the tube drivers arn't on strike like the train drivers!

It's not wot we wanted to dee of course, but the hotels in London have upped their prices to a eye watering £800 to £1,000 a neet for Saturday, az the London Marathon iz on on Sunday! (50,000 runners!)

We are NOT millionaires, so a 'cheapish' (£50 each) hotel in Wotfaad it iz on Friday neet! (Wotfaad iz aboot 25 miles from London to the north)

Then we will gan to the match on Saturday by tube and travel back to Tyneside after the match by road ---of course! (The hotel in Wotfaad iz 5 times az much to stay on Saturday)


PS: NUFC arn't they anly Premyaa Leegue fans who are affected by the train strike: Brentfaad are at Bournemoooth, Brightin are at Liverpoool, Evaatin are at Sooothampton and Wolves are at West Ham!----Plus aall the othaa lower leegue and non leegue sides, plus the marathon runners of course!

NOT! THE TICKET!

PPS: Some Toon fans with 70-80 loyalty points have been told that they WON'T receive their tickets due to oversellin'!!!! (It just gets worse folks!)

Saturday, 24 September 2022

BEE STING!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 24th September 2022


NUFC fans are not the anly ones to suffer from train strikes!

Wor game at Fulim in west London next Saturday iz hit by a train strike on the day and wor next home game v Brentfaad iz aalso hit by a train strike on 8th October, meeeenin Bees fans cannit get here from London by train! (ie: They've been 'STUNG'!) (sic!)

Wor plans are 'up in the air' for Fulim, az we must now travel doon on Friday and come back on Sunday!----The anly problem IZ  The London marathon iz the day after we play Fulim and hotels are a mooth waaterin price for Saturday neet (£200-£300 a room!)

WE havvint decided just wot to dee yet, but drivin doon iz sommik we divvint want to dee az the roads to London will be chocker---especially with marathon traffic!

We will find a way to get there of course!----Just like Brentfaad fans will have to dee to get to 'wor place'!

More on aall this later!


Tuesday, 20 September 2022

"ARE WE JINXED OR WOT!?"

 Posted 'high noon ๐Ÿ”” bells' Tuuzday 20th September 2022

MR JINKS THE CARTOON CAT!


"IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH EVERY AWAY DAY!"

Followin the Queen's sad passin' a week gone Thorzday it woz inevitable that wor game at West Ham on the following Sunday wud be caalled off!---And so it woz!

This meant that the train tickets bought and hotel sorted were useless--so we managed to change the bookings to the Sporz game on Saturday 22nd of Octobaa!

They then moved that game again to Sunday the 23rd, despite havin moved it once for live telly and so again we had to change the bookings! ? (Thank yoo SKY!)

The Queen's death meant that a train strike last Saturday woz cancelled and moved to when we play Fulham away in a fortneets time---MEEENIN! That the train tickets we had bought to travel to London and back on the day were again useless!

Add in the fact that there woz a train strike on the day we were to play Brighton away in August and the situation gets ridiculous!

We had to rebook that to travel on the Friday and come back on the Sunday at great extra expense for hotels and more train tickets! (We claimed the train money back but had to pay an extra £105 each for hotels!)

And then there woz Wolves away when the train stopped at Crewe and we were told that because of unfinished linework near Wolverhampton the train cud travel nee forthaa!

8 of us then had to climb in 2 taxis on the station concourse to Wolves az there woz nee othaa way of gettin there!

£200 between the 8 which worked oot at £25 each!

AND (wait for it!!!) Wor train back from Liverpoool the day after the game woz cancelled because of a shortage of train crew!---which meant we had to catch a much later train back yem!

AND THEN! (aye, there's more!) there woz the 'roadtrip' to Tranmere for a Leegue Cup tie, where THREE motorways were closed on the way back because of night road works which meant it took considerably langer to get back than intisepated!!! ⬅️(We naa aall the big words!)

HONESTLY!-- YI COULDN'T POSSIBLY MAKE IT UP!!!

Iz it Friday the 13th every time we play away this season??????

Sunday, 18 September 2022

THE TOON 1 BOURNEMOOOTH 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 18th September 2022





A lack lustre display from NUFC yesterday and a disappointing result woz the outcome at SJP az an impeccable minutes silence for the Queen and a rendition of "God save the King" rang oot before kick off!



We just didn't get out of the blocks and the closest we came to scorin woz when Joelinton hit the post at The Gallowgate End and then a flurry of shots were saved by the Bournemoooth keeper to keep the score 0-0 at the half time break!



The unexpected breakthrough for wor visitors came in the 62nd minute when Billings flicked the baall past 'The Pope' in the Toon goal, to send the 1,155  Bournemoooth diehards high up in level 7 of The Leazes End into raptures!

A few minutes later a penalty appeal by Trippier for a hand baall, sent the ref to the VAR monitor and after a minutes review gave the penalty to the relief of the home crowd!

ISAK PREPARES TO TAKE THE PENALTY!


Isak took it and buried the baall to the right hand side of the Bournemoooth keeper for the equaliser!

Despite many more chances we couldn't find the winner and had to settle for the point!

We badly missed Saint Max and Callum Wilson who are both still injured! This woz without doubt wor worst performance of the season so far!--One to forget for certain!



Attendance: 52,238 (1,155 Bournemoooth fans!)


*FROM THE MATCH PROGRAMME


The Queen and Prince Phillip visit to SJP in 1997 when Sir John Hall woz chairman! *The same year az Prince ANDREW opened The Stadium of SSssshhh Yee Naa Wot!)





The Queen presents the FA Cup to Jimmy Scoular in 1955 at Wembley---NUFC beat Man City 3-1

Friday, 16 September 2022

THE TOON V BOURNEMOOOTH **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '2:09pm bells' Friday 16th September 2022

VIEW OF THE EAST STAND FROM THE LEAZES 'CORNER'

Followin' the cancellation of wor game at West 'am last week because of the Queen's death, we resume with a home game against Bournemoooth from the south coast----a 750 mile roond trip for the 1,155 diehards who are comin' to SJP for the 'unusual' '3:00 bells' kick off!---(The Premyaa Leegues langest trip)

Hopefully Saint Max, Callum Wilson and Bruno will feature after recoverin from injury, but we will soon find oot at '2:00 bells' tomorrow afternooon when the team line ups are annoonced!

A minute silence will precede the game followin by a rendition of "God save the KING!" and black armbands will be worn by both sets of players

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday---sometime!   Az per usual "Watch this space!" 

Wednesday, 14 September 2022

TREATED WITH UTTER CONTEMPT!---YET AGAIN!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 14th September 2022

CRICKET FANS AND PLAYERS SING "GOD SAVE THE KING!" AT THE OVAL IN LONDON!--BUT WHY WERNT FUTBAALL FANS ALLOWED TO DEE THE SAME!???

News that both wor games in November v Sooothampton away and Chelseee at SJP have been moved for live telly reached 'The Geordie Times' last neet! (See article below)

But the real 'sickener' woz the news that wor game at Sporz, which had been moved for live telly on Saturday October 22nd from '3:00 bells' to '5:30 bells', will now be played on Sunday October 23rd at '4:30 pm bells'!!!!

When the original fixture change for the Sporz game woz annoonced, we booked trains and a hotel for the Saturday neet, az it would have been a mad dash to catch the last train from King's Cross with a late finish (approximately '7:30 bells' with stoppage time---last train '9ish' on a Saturday!)

We'd booked an orly train doon on the Saturday and a '2:00 bells' train back on the Sunday!-----Az the game now doesn't start til '4:30 bells' on the Sunday, we have had to 'bin' the retorn ticket (and try and get a refund?) and buy a new one for £50 for the '10:00pm bells' train back to Tyneside! (original retorn ticket £27)

To change the game once iz bad enough----but to change it yet again shows utter contempt for travellin Toon fans after wor game at West Ham woz cancelled last Sunday because of the Queen's death! (Trains and hotel refunds requested and thankfully granted!)

Wot got us aboot the West Ham game, woz the fact that on the day the game woz to be played (Sunday) there woz a cricket test match at The Oval a few miles away, which went aheed????   Aalso golf and both codes of rugby and The Great North Run, took place ower last weekend----but of course the futbaall MUST be cancelled, az lang sufferin fans try to claim refunds for unneeded train tickets and hotels!

It wud have been nice to show wor appreciation for the Queen last Sunday at the London Stadium, but this woz denied of course, thanx to the 'sweet' FA!





Tuesday, 13 September 2022

TELLY TIMES FOR NOVEMBER DUE!

 Posted from '1:11pm bells' onwards, Tuesday 13th September 2022



The telly times for November shud be published sometime today and yoo can rest assured that 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the news az soon az we find oot!

The fixtures that cud be changed (anly 2!) are Sooothampton away on bonfire day Saturday 5th November at '3:00 bells' and Chelseee P*ss Potters at SJP on Saturday 12th November at '3:00 bells'! (And then it's the World Cup in Qatar!)

Updates here! ๐Ÿ ‹๐Ÿ ‹๐Ÿ ‹

Soothampton away now Sunday 6th November for live telly with a '2:00 bells' kick off (nee thought for Toon fans with this kick off time!)

Chelsea at SJP still Saturday 12th November but with a '5:30 bells' kick off for live telly

Sporz game moved for a 2nd time---now '4:30 bells' on Sunday 23rd October!!!!

Aall games on SKY




Saturday, 10 September 2022

"MUD!--MUD!---GLORIOUS MUD!"

 Posted '4:49pm ๐Ÿ”” bells' Saturday 10th September 2022

This iz brilliant!

"MUD' YOO BELEEEVE IT!?"

A Toon fan woz mortal drunk and fell in the Tyne near the Swing Bridge after the Palace game last month!

He woz swept doon the river to by the tide to the Ouseburn mudflats, where he managed to clamber oot from the thick mud, to the astonishment of passers by!!!๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฉ


Just in case yi cannit make oot wot they are sayin' we have reproduced this below!

Geordie version with Inglish translation in brackets: 

Passers By (PB) "Wots happened to yee?" (What's happened to you?)

MR MUD MAN (MMM) "Aa fell in the rivaa!" (I fell in the river)

PB "Haa yi?" (Have you?)

MMM  "Av had too much tih drink!" (I've had too much to drink)

PB "No way ha ha!" --"yi aall reet?" (No way ha ha--are you all right?)

MMM "Drank a bottle of whisky!" 

PB "Drank a bootle of whisky?" -- "keep away from him, maa!" (Drank a bottle of whisky?--Keep away from him, mother)

PB "F**kin' hell mate!" (F**king hell friend)

MMM "Aa luk a bit soaked---divvint aa? (I look a bit soaked---don't I?)

PB "AYE!"---f**kin' soaked (YES!---f**king soaked)

PB "Where?, have yih just come from, there? *meaning the mud flats (Where?, have you just come from, there?)

PB "Have yih been in there aall neet? (Have you been in there all night?)

MMM "Aa don't know if av been in there aall neet!" (I don't know if I've been in there all night)

PB "HA! HA!"---Where have yi just climbed from there, like?" (HA! HA! ---Where have you just climbed from there, have you?)

MMM "THE NORTH SEA!"

PB " Aaarr yi off yih nut, yee!" (Aaarr you are out of your mind,  you!)

 






 

Friday, 9 September 2022

JELLIED EELS GAME OFF!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 9th September 2022



Az expected wor game on Sunday at The London Stadium v 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham haz been postponed following the death of the Queen!

We can get wor train money back and hopefully the £200 for the hotel near King's Cross! (Triple room = £66.66 each!)

Or at least be able to rebook it for a future London game!

Updated: '6:37 pm bells'

The hotel haz moved wor bookin to when we play Sporz  in "norf Landan" at nee extra cost!๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ‘

THE QUEEN RIP!

*The Queen presents the FA Cup to NUFC captain Jimmy Scoular at Wembley in 1955*

   *NUFC 3  MAN CITY 1*


Thursday, 8 September 2022

ONE RULE FOR US!---AND ANOTHAA RULE FOR THEM!

 Posted '1:11pm bells' Thorzday 8th September 2022


News that 'The M23 Derby' between Brightin and Cristil Palliss haz been postponed coz of a rail strike on Saturday 17th September reaches us!

There woz a train strike when  NUFC played at Brightin, but the game went aheed!

This forced us to travel on the Friday and come back on the Sunday!

One rule for 'us' and one **** *** ****!


AND TOON FANS RESPONSE ON TWITTER!





A PALLISS FAN'S RESPONSE!




On the othaa hand, Bournemoooth, which iz the furthest distance from The Toon, WILL travel to Tyneside on September 17th, despite the rail strike???

It don't make sense to us-----A 92 mile roond trip jorney postponed, yet a 750 mile roond trip gans aheed on the same day!????

Wednesday, 7 September 2022

ANFIELD AGGRO-COACHES CHARGED BY FA!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 7th September 2022



News reaches 'The Geordie Times' (one day late az usual!) that both coaches from LFC and NUFC have been charged with breaching rule E3 

ie: "The behaviour of Liverpool coach John Achterberg and Newcastle coach Dan Hodges in the 98th minute was improper and that the LFC coach also used abusive and insulting gestures" (see above!)

Both have until tomorrow to respond!



Monday, 5 September 2022

"THEY WOZ WRANG---WE WOZ REET!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 5th September 2022



In the aftermath of the VAR debacle on Saturday the referees association, The PGMOL haz EXCEPTED that the decision to disallow wor goal against Palliss woz WRANG!



However we WONT get the 2 points lost back and the result will stand!-----Even a blind man could 'see' that Joe Willock woz propelled in the back by a Palliss player into their goalie and the goal shud have stood!






Michael Salisbury the ref infact had GIVEN the goal, but VAR intervened and said there might be a foul by Willock on their goalie!---He went and stared at the monitor on The East Stand touchline and watched the incident ower and ower again for THREE MINUTES before changin' hiz mind and rulin the goal oot, much to the disgust of the Toon players and 50,000 Toon fans alike! 


Mee message to Michael Salisbury and the VAR team iz simple!

(Extra large writing) ๐Ÿ Ÿ

"SPEC SAVERS ARE DEEIN SOME CANNY DEALS THIS WEEK!"       ๐Ÿ ‹๐Ÿ ‹๐Ÿ ‹๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ๐Ÿ Ÿ⮟⮟⮟⮟⮟⮟⮟


 

Sunday, 4 September 2022

THE TOON 0 THE PALLISS 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 4th September 2022

The ref stares at the monitor and changes hiz mind!๐Ÿ’ฉ

"A TraVARsty of justice!"

Yet again a dodgy VAR decision haz gone against us---This time against Joe Willock who woz said to have fouled the Cristil Palliss goalie before the baall ended up in the back of the net at The Leazes End!



Joe woz pushed in the back by a Palliss defender and into the Palliss goalie, and so it woz a foul AGAINST HIM!

The ref had given the goal but VAR told him to review the incident on the pitch side monitor at the side of the pitch in front of The East Stand!  He looked at it for 2 minutes before owertornin hiz original decision and disallowed the goal---to disbelief from the Toon players and loud boos from the crowd!



We'd hit the post and bar durin the game and Isak had missed a good chance orly on, when he woz put straight through, but this woz the anly 'goal' and so it ended up nil-nil at the final whistle to uproar from the stands!



Livaapoool in midweek when Isak woz onside and scored, but the goal ruled oot because hiz shadow woz 'offside'----and then the 5 minutes stoppage time that torned into NINE to allow Livaapoool to score the winner!----Not to mention the blatent shirt pullin in the box at Wolves on Sean Longstaff last week and the disallowed goal from Callum Wilson at Brightin, when hiz high kick woz deemed to be dangerous, even though he woz nee where near a Brightin player when he 'scored'!---It just gans on!--and on!--and ON!

Conspiracy theories abound that neebody wants us to be successful, coz of the Saudi takeower!----- It f**kin' stinks to the high heavens!

Nowt much more to say really, but the next time we score and VAR gets involved, yoo can bet your bottom dollar that the decision will gan against us!



Attendance: 51,863 (Just 1,200 Palliss)

And this from a former referee!






Saturday, 3 September 2022

THE TOON v THE PALLISS **** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 3rd September 2022

THE MILBURN STAND FROM BARRACK ROAD

NUFC play a home game at last today after bein on the road at Brightin,  Tranmere, Wolves and Livaapoool in the last few weeks!

A welcome break from train strikes (Brightin), line closures (We had to pay £100 for a taxi from Crewe to Wolves!), cancelled trains because of a shortage of train crews (Livaapool)--- and 3 motorway closures (Tranmere), that we have endured in August by rail and road and we can anly hope that September and October are better months for us?

Cristil Pallis are wor visitors and hopefully we can boonce back from wor forst defeat of the season at Anfield, when we were robbed on Wedinzday! (See match report below!)

Shelvey, Wilson and Krafth are aall still missin' but there iz hope that Saint-Max and Bruno will play some part in the match!?

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here az usual sometime on Sunday---SO!---"WATCH THIS SPACE!"

Thursday, 1 September 2022

MARRINER'S LIVERBIRDS 2 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted while waitin for the train on the way back from Liverpoool, Thorzday 1st September 2022



"WE WOZ ROBBED!"

8 MINUTES of stoppage time woz added at the end of the game after 5 minutes were shown by the 4th official!

Yes, Pope went doon injured for 1 minute 30 secs in stoppage time, so where did ref Marriner get the extra 3 minutes from???

Of course The Liverbirds scored in the 98th minute to break wor hearts!

It had aall started off so well when new boy Alexander the Great struck a fabulous shot into the top corner of the net in the 38th minute in front of the 3,000 travellin supporters in The Anfield Road End!

And in we went 1-0 up at half time!


At the start of the 2nd half, Klopp woz waitin for the official near the players tunnel, wavin hiz arms on a tantrum and obviously demandin' that they clamp doon on time wastin from us!---And sure enough Marriner the ref woz wavin at Nick Pope to hurry up takin a goal kick just after the restart!----Who's in charge? Marriner or Klopp? (An absolute disgrace that a ref can be intimidated and manipulated by a manager!)๐Ÿ’ฉ

Alexander made it 2-0 when he ran through their defence to hit a fine shot at The Kop End!---or so we thought!  A VAR check ruled that hiz SHADOW woz fractionally offside and the goal woz disallowed because of that!!!!


"Offside or not offside?---that iz the 'shadowy' question! 




The lead lasted to the 61st minute when Firmino equalised

It woz then 'backs to the wall' az they went for the winner, but wor rearguard held firm!

Toon fans celebrate Alexander's 1st goal! (He scored 2 legitimate goals,don't forget!)


5 mins stoppage time woz added and heartbreak came in the 98th minute when Carvalho scored for the scousers with virtually the last kick of the game! (5 mins stoppage time remember!)



Attendance: 53,316 (3,000 p*ssed off Toon fans!)

PS: Deein this report in The North Western boozer in Lime Street station(Livaapoool) az wor train woz cancelled!

Will have to try and get the next train!--Success! 1 hour later!

4: North Western, Liverpool





Sportsmanship at its finest!






Last neets gargels took place here in Livaapoool!
1: Ship and Mitre, Liverpool



2: Barlow Arms, Liverpool

3: Westminster, Liverpool (Wont be back az a customer woz catchin bar flies at the counter!)
Running total after 4 away games= 18 drinkin dens----59 if yoo include the tour of Austia pre season!)
  


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