Monday, 28 February 2022

NOHRICH U23S V THE TOON U23S TOONEET IN KINGS LYNN! NEW GROOND!, NEW GROOND!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 28th February 2022

Updated Tuesday

THE WALKS---KINGS LYNN TOON FC

After a days break after gettin back from Brentfaad in west London 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are off on wor travels again today, az we heed for Kings Lynn Toon FC in Norfolk, where NUFC U23s are takin' on Nohrich's U23s in a Premyaa Leegue 2 fixture!

This iz of course another new groond after payin wor maiden visit to the Brentfaad Community Stadium on Saturday!

Kings Lynn iz a roond trip of 422 miles from The Toon and we are on wor travels very soon to get there for the '7:00 bells' kick off!

National Leegue Kings Lynn have played at The Walks Stadium since 1879 and like SJP (since 1880) iz one of the oldest futbaall groonds in the world!

Admission iz a fiver for both big kids and zimmerframeites and a quid for sprogs!

A Geordie Times match report on the game will appear here sometime later this week----hopefully tomorrow!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Updated Tuesday:

Unfortunately av got to gan to graft soon and a'm just half way though the story---and so it wont appear here til tomorrow! (hopefully!?)

NUFC won 4-3 in a thriller in the rain!

Sunday, 27 February 2022

354 brentford community stadium, brentford

 Ground number 354

(141st ground visited that has staged League footbaall)

Date of First Visit: 26th February 2022

Brentford Community Stadium, London

Brentford 0

Newcastle United 2 (Joelinton, Willock)

Premier League

Attendance: 17,039 (1,713 Toon fans)

"TO BEE OR NOT TO BEE!"



This woz the 59th different groond that The Toon had played a Premyaa Leegue game on, and The Geordie Times haz been to each and every one of them now!

The train doon from 'The Central' (station) took ower 4 hours to get to King's Cross (London) and we made straight for Hammersmith in west  London, when we got the forst of many gargels!

2 boozers are reet next to each othaa ower the road from Hammersmith tube station and that's where we plonked worselz doon for the pre match 'gargels', until it woz time to heed for the game!




A half hour tube ride to Acton and a 20 minute waalk to the groond followed, but this must be the most hidden groond in the UK az there are blocks of flats and other high buildings surrondin' and hidin' the brand new stadium!----The away fans are segregated az yoo approach the tornstiles and again, fans had problems gettin in az some tickets wouldnt work in the scanners! (Like at Leeedz)

Luckily mine 'scanned' and 'in aa went'----the concourse woz packed az usual and aa had to fight mee way to the 'tool-shed' (p*ss corner!), before aa heeded for mee seat in row 16! (Its a brand new---so why didnt they make the concourses bigger?)

To be honest aa wasnt impressed with the stadium at aall, az the roof at the far end goal suddenly sloped doon at the left hand side, where some tower blocks owerlooked that stand!



With a capacity of anly 17,000 this iz currently the 2nd smaallest stadium ever, to grace the Premyaa Leegue (Bournemoooth woz the smaallest with just 11,000 seats) This iz in total contrast to other London top flight clubs like West 'am, Sporz and The Arse, who aall have 60,000 capacities!) Chelski's iz 42,000, Palliss iz 27,000)

Brentfaad were on a very poor run with just 1 win in 10 before the game, while we were on a 6 game unbeaten streak----and this bore oot az the match started, with The Toon playin' in wor aall light blue strip!  We attacked 'The Tower Blocks End' (wot else?) in the forst period and were well on top when the definin' moment of the game happened in the 11th minute when a bad tackle by Brentfaad's Dasilva had Matt Target lyin' in agony just ootside the box!

It went to VAR and the ref went ower to the pitchside monitor to check the tackle and a red card woz produced to put them doon to 10 men for the rest of the game! 

NUFC then went for 'the jugular' and a pinpoint cross from Ryan Fraser in the 33rd minute foond Joelinton's heed and he nodded in a with power to send the 1,700 faithful wild in the away end opposite!  Joe woz SO excited by hiz goal that he ran the full length of the pith to celebrate with us!

We were completely on top and it woz nee suprize when we doubled wor lead 10minutes later when a Fabian Schar cross foond Joe Willock and he hammered the baall into the net to 'sting The Bees' (Brentfaad's nickname!)




That woz the score at half time and though The Toon couldnt add anymore it woz a comfortable victory whic saw us climb to 'the dizzy heights' of 14th in the table and 4 points above the relegation zone!



A special mention must be made for Brentfaad's Christian Ericson who got a standin ovasion from BOTH sets of fans az he came on at the midpoint of the 2nd half! (He suffered a cardiac arrest on the pitch aboot a year ago and many thought he would never play again!) 

On the final whistle at '5 to 5 bells', we made a mad dash to the exits and back to Acton station----We were on the '6:30 bells' train back to The Toon (the last direct train!) and made it with 30 minutes to spare! (Brentfaad iz aboot 10 miles from King's Cross station)



HAPPY DAYS!🤪👍🍺



Futnote: This woz 'Dave from York's 300th groond followin The Toon's 1st team, resorves and juniors!  
That makes him a fully fledged member of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers club!'
Congratulations Dave, yoo sad b*stard!
🤪👍🍺

Friday, 25 February 2022

BRENTFAAD v THE TOON **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 25th February 2022

THE BRENTFAAD COMMUNITY STADIUM----NUFC PLAYED HERE LAST SEASON AND LOST 1-0 IN THE LEEGUE CUP, WHEN GAMES WERE PLAYED BEHIND CLOSED DOORS DUE TO COVID!---SO THIS WILL BE TOON FANS FORST EVER VISIT HERE!


It seems that every game NUFC play iz a 'must win game', and after Bornley's unexpected 2 wins in a row, they are anly 2 points behind us in 18th place AND with a game in hand!

We reeely MUST beat Brentfaad at their new stadium, to drag them into the mire!  Nearly half the Premyaa Leegue clubs are in danger, from Lestaa in 12th place with 27 points, to Bornley in the last relegation place with 20 points!

Brentfaad are on a poor run and just last month they were 10 points clear of us, but with just 1 win in 10 and NUFCs 6 game unbeaten run, meeenz that we are just 2 points behind them now and will leapfrog them shud we win!

Saint Max iz doubtful, which meeenz that if he doesnt play we will be withoot 3 key players for the 2nd game runnin' (Trippier and Wilson the others)

We are on the 6:55am bells' train tomorrow and the '6:30pm bells' back-----the last train from King's Cross because of line work!

It will be a hectic rush back from Kew Bridge (where Brentfaad play) to catch it, az it's a good hour by tubes back to KX----Will we make it in time????----Read The Geordie Times tomorrow neet to find oot! 

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have anothaa new groond to visit on Munday neet, when wor U23s travel to King's Lynn in Norfolk to play Norhich U23s!

Match reports from both games will appear here the day after they've been played!----Az per usual "Watch this space!" 

Updated '6:30pm 🔔 bells'

Won 2-0! (Joelinton, Willock) Caught the train

Happy days! 


Wednesday, 23 February 2022

SQUEEEKY BUM TIME!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 23rd February 2022

Updated 1:45am bells' Thorzday


NUFC arnt in action til Saturday, when we travel to west London to face Brentfaad, but quite a few of wor relegation rivals are!

Tooneet 'The Bornley Hillbillies' are at home to Sporz, Wotfaad are at home to Palliss and Leeedz are away to Livaapoool!

2 away wins and a home win pleeeeze!

And then on Friday neet, Nohrich are away to Sooothampton and a home win would be very nice indeed!

It's squeeeky bum time again, folks!😵

Updated 1:45am bells' Thorzday

2 oot of 3 went wor way

Wotfaad lost 4-1 and Leeedz were thrashed 6-0 to dent both their goal differences!

But Bornley won 1-0 to lift them to 3rd bottom and 2 points below NUFC---with a game in hand!

The Leegue table iz now gettin very congested at the bottom, with NINE teams in danger!



* It's 'squeeeky bum time' indeed', from Lestaa doonwards!

Tuesday, 22 February 2022

TOON TRAVELLERS TORTURE TRIPS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 22nd February 2022

THE WALK'S STADIUM, KING'S LYNN TOON FC---NEW GROOND!---NEW GROOND!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' face a nightmare few weeks az  5 oot of wor next 6 games that we plan to travel to are aall lang distance affairs!

Az well az wor trip to West Ham in eest London last Saturday, (570ish miles roond trip!) we face anothaa trip to the capital next Saturday, when we face Brentfaad in west London at their new stadium! (570ish miles roond trip again)

And then next Munday neet a trip to King's Lynn in Norfolk iz planned to see wor U23s play Nohrich U23s on anothaa new groond! (422 miles roond trip!)

A 'rare' home game v Brightin follows on Saturday March 5th, (4 miles roond trip!!!) followed by wor langest trip of the season to the soooth coast to face Sooothampton on Thorzday March 10th!----(650 miles roond trip!) 

(Wor U23s are playin at Bornley's trainin groond on Friday 11th March at 1:00pm bells' , but this looks a non starter, so close to the Sooothampton away game!---ie: might not get back from Sooothampton in time?)

3 days after Sooothampton we must travel to west London again to face Chelski at Stamford Bridge! (Anothaa 570ish miles roond trip!)

And then there's a relatively 'local' trip to Livaapoool where we face Evaatin at Goodison Park on Thurzday 17th March (Thats if yi can caall aroond trip of 350 miles a 'local trip'?) 

That's a total of 3,136 miles (accordin to mee phone calculator!) 

Sunday, 20 February 2022

THE JELLIED EELS MOB 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Sunday 20th February 2022



"A CATOSTROFIC TRIP!"

Day 2 of wor epic jorney to 'Landan' (Cockney slang!) (scroll doon for day 1 article!) started off in wor hotel in Eest Landan and after a quick wash n brush up it woz time for 'brekkies' and then onward to Hackney Wick for a few gargels before the '12:30 bells' kick off in 'The Baxter's Court' ale hoose    (Storm Eunice had died doon by this time!)



It woz then onward to the groond which woz a 15 minute waalk from the boozer, where the rain came doon az we waited in a lang queue to be checked with a scanner to make sure we wornt bringin in any flares etc!----We even had to take wor phones and keys oot wor pockets, like yi dee when yi at an airport!

But the anly things that were 'flyin' az we made wor way to wor seats were a load of inflatable orange cats, which were gettin hoyed aboot in the away end, in reaction to West Ham's Zoooma, who had notoriously kicked hiz pet cat alang hiz kitcken floor, which woz videoed by hiz brother and stupidly put on Facebook, for everyone to see! (Have they got NEE brains?)



Anyway!---The game kicked off az NUFC attacked the goal we were behind and had several good chances in the orly periods!

'The Jellied Eels Mob' (jellied eels are a favorite delicacy in this neck of the woods) however took the lead in the 35th minute when Craig Dawson heeded home!

Bang on half time we equalised when Joe Willock toe poked the baall ower the line, before their goalie palmed it back into play, but it had just crossed the goal line az the ref checked hiz watch to conform a goal!



This sent the 3,000 Toon fans wild with delight and some of the 'orange cats' were hoyed into the home end az we celebrated! 

The 2nd half started with chants from The Toon fans of : "Haaaaaay Kurt Zoooomaa, aa wanna know-o-o-o-o, do yoo kick your cat!" (Classic!)



We were playin' well and could have grabbed the winner, but had to settle for a valauable point, to draw level with Evaatin in the table and just 1 point behind Leeedz and 2 behind Brentfaad, who we play away next Saturday in anothhaa trip to the capital city!

Results elsewhere DIDNT gan wor way this time, az both Wotfaad and Bornley unexpectedly won away!----The battle to avoid the drop isnt ower yet, and there will be many more twists and torns before the end of the season!

The encouragin news IZ that despite 3 key players oot with injury (Trippier, Wilson and St. Max) we held wor own against a team who are challengin for a Champions Leegue place! 

That's 3 draws and 3 wins in wor last 6 games, and we havvint lost away now for 2 months (Liverpoool in December)

So its Brentfaad away at their NEW GROOND next week for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', which will be 'a nail biter' for certain!

The train jorney back took a 'mere' 4 and a qwaata hours (normally 3 hours)----Thats ower 11 hours on the trains, plus anothaa hour on the tubes and overland rail in London to get to and from the match! 

Exhausting and CATastrophic, to say the least! (sic!)



Attendance: 59,949 (3,000 travel weary Toon fans!)

*




Updated 4:04pm bells'

Not that we like Moan U  but they have just beaten Leeedz 4-2, which iz a great result for NUFC!

This meeenz that Leeedz are just 1 point better off than 'us', with the same games played, but with a worse goal difference!

The race to avoid the drop involves 10 teams now! (Half the Premyaa Leegue!)🤪👍

Updated 6:49pm bells

Lestaaz defeat at Wolves now brings them into the 'mix'  11th in the table and anly 5 points above 'us'!

The post match gargels took place here, near Euston station


FOOTNOTE!



Friday, 18 February 2022

THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST 'AM v THE TOON **** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

 Posted from 'high noon 'bells' onwards, Friday 18th February 2022


Storm Eunice iz said to severely disrupt travel today az we attempt to get to London by train from The Toon. We are booked on the 4:26 bells' sorvice to King's Cross (London) where a red weather warnin' haz been issued, warnin' of 'A danger to life'!---and anly to travel if its 'absolutely necessary'!

Of course it 'IZ absolutely necessary' az The Toon are playin' at London Stadium in a '12:30 bells' kick off tomorrow!

'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' haz taken nee chances and travelled doon yesterday!!!!---Just to make sure he gets to the game!!!!!



If wor train iz cancelled then we have othaa plans in operation!

There's a train at '5:30 bells' in the mornin'----or if thats cancelled plan 'C' iz to drive doon later tooneet!----We won't be beaten easily!

We will of course, keep yoo wor loyal readers posted on developments this afternooon and a full Geordie Times match, booze and weather report will appear here sometime on Sunday!---Provided we make it back by then!  

So watch this space intently az we update wor jorney to London (or not az the case may be!) from '4:00 bells' onwards this afternooon!

UPDATES HERE AZ THEY HAPPEN!⬇️

4:32 pm bells

Here's the train, on time at 'The Central', az it passes the 'New'castle'🤪👍

'6:39pm bells'
Aall woz gannin Well until we got to Donny(Doncaster) where we are waitin' for a new train crew to take us onward to London!
We have been told that it will be anothaa 45 mins before a new train crew will arrive!--but 'fear not' we have plenty of liquid lubrication to keep us gannin!


*7:25pm bells'
The train driver haz torned up(horray!) but NOT the train guard!!
We can't move til he/she torns up! "ZZZzzz!!!"
🥱😴

*7:34pm bells'
We are finally on the move after a 1hr 20min stay in Donny Station!!!

'11:11pm bells'
Finally arrived at KX
Weather is calm 
Nearly 7 hours of train torture!🥶
"Good f***in' 🌙 night!"

Match report on Sunday
Drew1-1 (Joe Willock)


 

Thursday, 17 February 2022

IZ THIS A CURSE ON THE SOS?

 Posted '12:54pm bells' Thorzday 17th February 2022

"THE CURSE IT IZ CAST!"

Guess who opened the Stadium of SHHH! (yee naa wot!) in July 1997????

Since it's openin' the SMBs have went on a doonward spiral and are still in the old 3rd Division (now Leegue 1) for the 4th season in a row!

We leave yoo to draw your own conclusions???


From the sun'lind fans Facebook & Twitter pages

Wednesday, 16 February 2022

AMANDA FIGHTS BACK AGAINST 'THE FAT CONTROLLER'!

 Posted '12:20pm 🔔 bells' Wedinzday 16th February 2022



*SO 'THE FAT CONTROLLER' DIDN'T PAY A PENNY PIECE FOR HIZ 300 SD SIGNS FROM 2019 TO 2022!----(WOT A SUPRIZE!)---DERBY FANS BEWARE!---YOUR BLACK N WHITE STADIUM WILL SOON BE RED AND BLUE SHUD TFC BUY YOUR CLUB!

Tuesday, 15 February 2022

"HERE COMES THE 'SUN'!"

 Posted 1:00pm bells Tuesday 15th February 2022


HERE COMES THE 'SUN' 1

AND LAST TUESDAY AT SJP!





HERE COMES THE 'SUN' 2

MASSIVE CLUB!

Monday, 14 February 2022

THE TOON 1 THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLIANS 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' St. Valentine's Days 2022💕



"A BITTER SWEET VICTORY!"

For the 3rd game in a row we won, but this woz tempered by the news that Kieran Tripper haz broken a bone in hiz foot, which iz devastatin news for aall Toon fans!

A VAR penalty decision went against us in the 30th minute of the forst half az we attacked The Leazes goal----A free kick on the edge of the box woz awarded instead and Kieran Trippier stepped up to take it and for the 2nd game in a row az it flew into the net to rapturous applause and celebrations from the Toon fans!



And then at the start of the 2nd period he went doon near the dugoots and worryingly stayed doon for a while, before bein helped of the pitch!----Later photos show him on crutches at the RVI in the shadows of SJP with a foot cast on!----Bad news indeed for aall concerned!



Manquillo aalso woz injured and woz taken off just before the break---anothaa body blow!

Villa scored in the 62nd minute but after a very lengthy VAR check the goal woz (thankfully!) disallowed for a hairline offside to loud cheers of relief!



NUFC held on in the 2nd half and 7 minutes stoppage time woz added for Trippier's injury and a medical emergency in The Gallowgate End! (We thought that 10 minutes would be added---but we wornt comlainin!)

WE held on to win the game, but it woz indeed a bitter sweet moment az we applauded and cheered the players off the pitch!

The win takes us 4 points clear of the relegation zone, a point behind Evaatin and 2 behind Leeedz!

But how will we fair withoot wor new talisman and captain, while he iz oot injured???? (It woz later conformed that he had a broken metatarsal!)



*Attendance: 52,207 (3,000 unhappy Villa, who, before the match sang: "You're just a small town in Scotland!" when the Scottish border iz 61 miles north! ("HA! HA! You're just a small town in Wales!"---Bormingham iz 79 miles east from the Welsh border!) (Yes!--Aa 'Googled' it!)

Full time az happy fans leave SJP


Not such happy news an hour later!


Saturday, 12 February 2022

THE TOON V THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLIANS *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔 bells' Saturday 19th February 2022

HAPPY TOON FANS LEAVIN' SJP AFTER THE EVAATIN GAME!                       (MORE OF THAT TOMORROW----PLEEEEZE!)


NUFC gan for wor 3rd win in a row against Villa at '2:00 bells' tomorrow!

After the great 3-1 win against Evaatin in midweek, everybody iz on a 'high' and victory would pull us further away from the bottom 3!

Kieran Trippier iz carryin a calf injury and haz missed trainin'--so it doesn't look good for him!

Thankfully there are nee more reported injuries from the Evaatin game, so hopefully we have enough to get a good result?

With anothaa blank Saturday a'm off to Cleethorpes today, not to watch Grimsby, but Cleethorpes Toon who are at home to Dunston in a Northern Premyaa Leegue East fixture!

(Cleethorpes groond iz aboot a mile from Grimsby's, who of course play in Cleethorpes az well!)

A match report on that game will appear sometime next week, while the NUFC match report shud be online by Munday neet!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

Friday, 11 February 2022

A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP!

 Posted just after 'high noon 🔔 bells' Friday 11th February 2022

*The mackem goalie with little  dinosaur arms 🦖iz the goalie NUFC fans love to hate!

And here are 2 hilarious photos of a Toon fan dressed in a dinosaur costume in The Leazes End durin wor 3-1 win ower Evaatin on Tuesday neet!

*THE MOMENT jordan pickford SPOTS ONE OF HIZ RELATIVES IN THE LEAZES END!🤪👍🦖


"IF ONLY I HAD LONGER ARMS!"


Thursday, 10 February 2022

SHEARER'S STATUE SHIFTED SOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 10th February 2022



News reaches us (a day late az per usual!) that Alan Shearer's statue iz to be moved from the old demolished toilet block on Barrack Road in the shadow of SJP, to a more fittin' place at the corner of The Gallowgate End/Milburn Stand entrance on Strawberry Place!



This iz great news az wor former owner 'The Fat Controller' refused to have the statue on club land!---Wor new owners however arn't bitter or twisted like him and a plannin notices haz been posted on lamposts near the groond to demolish the plinth and move the statue to a new plinth!

ALAN SHEARER AT THE ORIGINAL UNVEILING ON BARRACK ROAD   

The NINE BAR underneath The Gallowgate End iz next on the list (hopefully) and shud be renamed SHEARER'S again, az 'The Fat Controller' changed the bar's name oot of spite, when wor record goalscorer critised the club and him in particular!

In othaa news wor U18s were unfortunately knocked oot of the FA Youth Cup at Blackpoool last neet and were well beaten by 3 goals to nil!


 SPECIAL THANX TO 'GLENNN FROM ASHINGTON' FOR PIX


Aalso Nohrich anly drew 1-1 with Palliss last neet, so we stay oot of the relegation zone by one point --for the time being at least (The othaaz aroond us play on Saturday)--while we aren't in action at home to Villa on Sunday! 

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