Tuesday, 29 October 2019

NUFC 3rd BOTTOM OF THE GOALS TABLE in 89th PLACE!

Posted '4:29pm bells' Tuesday 29th October 2019
ALMIRON MISSES ANOTHAA GLORIOUS CHANCE V WOLVES 
AND SLUMPS OWER AN ADVERTISIN HOARDIN IN DISPAIR!

The NUFC goal drought iz put in perspective by the fact that anly Wotfaad and Bolton Wanabeez with FIVE goals each, have scored less goals in leegue futbaall this season!
We currently sit 89th oot of the 91 leegue clubs with just SIX solitary goals in TEN leegue games!
This, (az we reported yesterday) iz the joint worst in wor entire leegue history, stretchin way back to the NINETEENTH CENTURY! (joint worst with last season!)

£40 million number 9 Joelinton, haz just ONE solitary goal in TEN games, while £21 million forward 'Miggy' Almiron has still to score for us in 20 appearances, since he forst played for us last February! (v Wolves az a sub)

That's SIXTY ONE MILLION QUID for 2 players with 30 appearances between them!---and ONE GOAL! (Joelinton at Sporz)
And to 'fink' that we could have had Rondon for £15 million!

Wor 'beloved'? owner known affectionately az 'The Fat Controller' to Toon fans, hasn't been to ONE game this season, which shows that he haz nee interest in us at aall--and just wants to pocket the TV money and have hiz horrible advorts plastered aall ower SJP!
A LONE PROTESTER SHOWS AN ANTI 'FAT CONTROLLER' BANNER
DURIN' THE WOLVES GAME!

WE must suffer the consequences of hiz failed transfor and managerial policies---and have to listen to 'Broken Nose Bruce' sayin that he woz "DELIGHTED" with wor forst half performance v Wolves, which woz far from "DELIGHTFUL!" (beleeeve yoo me!) 

The lang slog continues in "eest Landan" next Saturday, when we play 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham! 
Amazingly we have sold oot the away section, where 3,000 lang sufferin fans will be in attendance!
And guess who WON'T be there????
Have yoo seen this man?
Missing for 11 games!

Monday, 28 October 2019

THE TOON 1 WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ 1 * PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '3:33pm bells' Munday 28th October 2019

"SNORE DRAW!"-"ZZZzzz!!!"😴

Wor heed coach ,'Broken Nose Bruce said, "I was delighted the way way we played in the 1st half!", and added, "We forgot to take part in the 2nd half!"

The first half woz indeed better than the second, BUT it woz hardly 'delightful' as we never had one shot on target except for the heeded goal by Lascelles!---Which made him wor joint top goalscorer of the season! (6 others have scored one goal each!)
Almiron missed a glorious chance to score for the forst time, but hit the side nettin', when it looked much easier to score! (He looked a broken man az he slumpted ower a advertising hordin at The Leazes End, just after hiz miss!) However! A ball boys gave him the 'thumbs up', which woz a nice touch!

The second half woz terrible, like Brucey says, and it woz nee suprize when wor visitors equalised through a Debravka misstayk in the 74th minute!

Before Wolves scored we had a free kick near the home dugout. Rather than try and get anothaa goal to seal victory, we passed the baall BACKWARDS and eventually lost possession!
(CRAZY TACTICS!---that badly backfired!)

The atmosphere woz dire az we watched the last few minutes of the game with just 10 men az Sean Longstaff received a red card for showin' hiz studs in the 83rd minute!--and in the end we were lucky to come away with a point, which lifts us to one point above the drop zone with 10 games played in the Premyaa Leegue!
Wor 6 goals in the 10 leegue games played equals the lowest in wor entire 126 leegue history! (6 goals last season az well!)

The reality iz that az lang az we have 'The Fat Controller' az owner (who wasn't there again!), we will be fightin relegation battles for the foreseeable future!
If we manage to stay up this season, then we will be in exactly the same position next season, fightin for wor lives!

Nuf said!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Fernandez, Clark, Willems, M Longstaff (Atsu 90), Saint-Maximin (Gayle 90), Almiron, Joelinton (Shelvey 85)

Attendance: 46,019 (3,000 Wolves)

PS: The 'MAGnificent 7' joint top goalscorers this season, are:
Shelvey (3-1 defeat at Norwich)
Joelinton (1-0 win at Sporz)
Muto (1-1 v Lestaa in the Leegue Cup where we lost 4-2 on penalties)
Schar (1-1 draw with Wotfaad)
Willems (3-1 defeat at Liverpoool)
Matty Longstaff (1-0 win v Moan U)
Lascelles (1-1 draw v Wolves)


(More to follow when aa get the time!)

Saturday, 26 October 2019

THE TOON v WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:47pm bells' Saturday 26th October 2019


'The Ronny Gill' reports that Andy Carroll (pictured above in action!) will MISS wor game against Wolves az he haz felt a slight 'tweek' in hiz groin and 'Broken Nose Bruce' iz takin nee chances and iz restin him!


Fabian Schar iz said to have a knee injury (which iz 'nee' good!)(sic!), while Isaac Hayden iz suspended!

Meeenwhile!---Matt Ritchie and Florian Lejeune have been spotted in trainin' this week and are in contention!

WE reeely must try to win this game and take advantage of  Wolves, who have been on a European adventure to Bratislava on Thorsday! We can anly hope that they are knackered after their lang jorney home!  

Bizarrely, because of a loophole and stadium ban for Bratislava supporters, there will be 21,000 local SCHOOL CHILDREN inside the stadium instead! (Little 'BRATS' no doubt!) (sic!)Anyway!---it doesnt matter aboot that---az lang az we score a few goals on Sunday, which total 5 in 9 Premyaa Leegue games so far!---Failure to score and we will have wor worst goals tally after 10 games in 126 years (since NUFC joined the Futbaall Leegue in 1893!)

But just where will the goals come from?, with Carroll crocked and Joelinton not firin' on aall cylin
ders! (1 goal in 9 games from wor £40 million man!) and £20 million man 'Miggy' Almiron still to score, since he signed last January, it doesn't look good!  

Meenwhile, NUFC are oot of the bottom 3 thanx to a hat-trick by wor 2nd top goalscorer last season, Ayoze Perez!
Unfortunately it wasn't for 'us', but Lestaa, who annihilated   Sooothampton 0-9 away last neet, to lift us up to 4th bottom in the table on goal difference, withoot kickin a baall! (If anly we had a player like Perez in wor team! (sic!)

If we play like we did against Man U we have a chance--but if we play like we did against Lestaa---we divvint!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Munday---sometime! 

Thursday, 24 October 2019

GROUNDS FOR CONCERN!

Posted '4:07pm bells' Thorsday 24th October 2019

SOS---Save Our Stadium!

A decision on whether developers can build tower blocks next to The Gallowgate Stand will be taken by the City cooncil next month!
Local Central Newcasil MP, Chi Onwurah, haz got in on the act and sent a letter (below) against the development, alang with 700 othaas who had objected to to to scheme (including The Geordie Times)
The 10,000 strong 'Newcastle United Supporters Trust' (NUST) have aalso engadged a solicitor and sent objection letters/E mails!



To be honest, we've nevaa had much time for Chi, but we welcome 'with open arms' hor support against the scheme and hope that it will have some impact on the cooncil and help persuade them to 'chuck the application oot'!
Below this iz an article we published just ower a week ago, outlining wor objections!
There iz STILL TIME to send in an objection and the address to send your letters/E mails to oppose the planned tower blocks, iz printed in that article!

Pleeze do so and Save Our Stadium!

LANDLOCKED AND LOVELESS!

Posted '3:00pm bells' Tuesday 15th October 2019
THE OBLITERATED VIEW OF SJP FROM GALLOWGATE
IF THE TOWER BLOCKS ARE ALLOWED TO BE BUILT!



**** AND AZ THE VIEW LOOKS NOW 
FROM CHINATOON!

NUFCs 'beloved'? owner known affectionately az 'The Fat Controller' to Toon fans, sold the land behind The Gallowgate End Stand for £9 million to property developers, who want to completely obliterate the views of St. James Park from Gallowgate and Chinatoon by buildin' two massive tower blocks on the land!

One of planned towers, which iz 21 stories high, will be directly behind The Gallowgate End Stand, which means future expansion at this end of the stadium will not be possible, shud the development be given 'the green light' from the City council!
PROPROSED VIEW FROM STRAWBERRY PLACE---NEE WHERE TO GAN!
In other words, the stadium would then be 'landlocked'! (above)

'The Geordie Times' haz sent an e mail to the cooncil, strongly objectin' to the proposed development!
'The Fat Controller' haz got a lot to answer to, for sellin' this prime piece of real estate for a pittance!---HASN'T HE JUST!

If YOO want to help, then send an objection message to Newcasil City cooncil, pleeze do so urgently to try and stop this horrendous development, before it's tooo late!

Their e mail address iz: planning.control@newcastle.gov.uk 
And quote reference: 2019/0879/01/DET


Wednesday, 23 October 2019

"ALL WE ARE SAYING--IZ GIVE US A GOAL!"

Posted '4:40pm bells' Wedinzday 23rd October 2019
A RARE TOON GOAL AT SPORZ (JOELINTON)

Az we speak-- and after 10 games played in competitive competitions so far this season, NUFC have a record number of goalscorers!---SIX in total, who have scored ONE goal each!
Five in the Premyaa Leegue and one in the Leegue Cup!

Failure to score in wor game v Wolves next Sunday will mean that with just FIVE Premyaa Leegue goals in TEN games, we will have the lowest total in wor entire history, gannin back to wor Leegue debut in 1893---126 years ago! (an average of just half a goal a game!)

Wor joint top goalscorers are:
Jonjo Shelvey: 1 Premyaa Leegue goal
Joelinton: 1 Premyaa Leegue goal
Yoshinori Muto: 1 Leegue Cup goal
Fabian Schar: 1 Premyaa Leegue goal
Jetro Willems: 1 Premyaa Leegue goal
Matty Longstaff: 1 Premyaa Leegue goal

Tuesday, 22 October 2019

"DRINK, DRINK, WHEREVER YOO MAY BE!"

Posted '4:15pm bells' Tuesday 22nd October 2019

'The Toon' has been confirmed as the place with the most drinkin dens in Ing-er-land, within half a mile of a futbaall groond, with ower 100 pubs in that radius of St. James' Park!
This iz more than THREE TIMES az many az the next best, which iz Newport and Wolves with 32 pubs within half a mile of their respective groonds!

Aaltogeter now!
♫Drink!, drink!, wherever yoo may be!♬
♪We've got the most pubs, az yoo can see!♩
♬And we will drink, wherever we may be!♫
♪From 'The 3 Bulls Heed' to 'The Straw-berry'!♫

SMB U23s v NUFC U23s @ "THE HOLE ON THE HILL!"*** TOONEET!

Posted '1:40pm bells' Munday 21st October 2019
(Updated Tuesday)
WELFARE PARK, EPPLETON CW

Wor U23s travel to Eppleton CW where we are takin on the mackems equivalent in Premyaa Leegue 2 derby match this evenin' at '7:00 bells'!
Eppleton's groond haz been used az a resorve venue for a number of years by the SMBs and iz situated in Hetton the Hole just off the A690 between Durham and sund'lind!
Admission iz £3 for big kids and £1 for sprogs and zimmerframites

Updated Tuesday 22nd October

mackems 0   Geordies 2
An excellent 2-0 win for the Toon U23s last neet at 'The Hole on the Hill' against the SMB U23s!
Luke Charman opened the scorin' from the penalty spot after Fernandez woz upended in the box in the 6th minute!

The mackems were reduced to 10 men from a deliberate hand baall by Taylor in the 24th minute!
It woz still 1-0 to 'us' at half time, despite wor total domination of this half!

A pass from Lewis Cass to Fernandez with just 10 minutes left on the clock woz 'the death nell' for the mackems az he slammed the baall into the net to double wor lead!
Reeely, NUFC shud have had more goals in this totally one sided contest, played oot in front of a sparse crowd, which included not many 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers'!

Below iz a match report from the forst time we played there ower 10 years ago---ground 268

Monday, 21 October 2019

268 welfare ground hetton le hole (v s/land reserves)


(GROUND NUMBER 268)

Date of First Visit: 21st JANUARY 2009

WELFARE GROUND, HETTON LE HOLE
(aka 'The Stadium De Hole'!)



mACKEM RESERVES  1

NEWCASTLE UNITED RESERVES  2  (Ranger, Godsmark)



FA PREMIER RESERVE LEAGUE NORTH

ATTENDANCE: 1,516  (not many Toon fans!)





“FOR JONEZEE!”



It was a very sad day for aall concerned as this was aalso the day of Jonezee’s funeral at Tynemouth crem orlier on that mornin’. Jonezee had sadly passed away a fortneet orlier
He had a black ‘n’ white striped coffin and his family’s request that mourners should wear sommik black ‘n’ white was observed by all and showed his loyalty for the club. He’d anly missed one home game in forty years and had’nt missed a weekend away game in aall that time eetha, visitin’ ower 100 different groonds in the process to watch The Toon!

(A ‘TRUE SUPPORTER’! who will be sadly missed by all!)



THIS MATCH REPORT AND VICTORY IS DEDICATED TO HIM!  



After the funeral we heeded for the Waallsend Comrades Club where Jonezee spent
many an hour ‘on the hoy’ to reminisce and to have some (Er!---several!) drinks in his memory!

Wor final ‘port o call’ before heedin’ to the ‘resorve derby’ was the Newcastle Arms in the Toon before cadgin’ a lift with ‘The Mad Professor’ doon to Eppleton FC in Hetton the Hole which was the mackems new ‘second string venue’ for this season. (It shud be noted that ‘Grumpy Stumpy’ opted to stay in the warmth of the bar for a few extra ciders, rather than brave the elements of coonty durham with us!) (part time sensible B******!)





“WEEZ TREES ARE THEEZE!”



On arrival in Hetton the Hole ◄(NO!---this is’nt a misprintt!---it IS! a f*****’ ‘Hole’) we homed in on the floodlights and parked in a street up the hill from the groond.

An aad biddy wearin’ a heedscarf was standin’ at hor front gate and asked us if the game was aall ticket and then telt us in the next breath before we could reply, that shih thought it was!

“Hope not pet!”----“WE haven’t got any!”, The Mad Professor replied as we worriedly heeded for the tornstiles



The ‘panic’ was soon ower as it was ‘pay at the gate’ and aa handed the gadgie a twenty poond note for the three quid admission fee. He looked at the note as though he’d neva eva seen one before? and said in a broad mackem twang-----

“Az tha noowt less, tha naaz?” (Geordie translation:”Have yi got nowt smaaller, like?”)

“NO!”, said ‘I’.    “Az al av tih gih yi yi change in puund cuins az av got ney notes!”, (“aal have ti give yi yi change in poond coins as av got ne notes!”)  he added, az he handed iz  the ticket and plonked SEVENTEEN! poond coins in mee mit! (they obviously have’nt seen fivers or ten poond notes roond theeze parts, eetha!)



It was nuw time to heed for the clubhouse as it was f*****’ freezin’ by this time.

“It’s my torn for the drinks!”, aa said to the lads az aa got mee torn in (and more importantleee, got rid of some of the ‘shrapnel’ that was weighin’ doon mee trooser pockets) and gave ‘Dave from York’ a refreshin’ pint of ‘Stones Gold’, a new beer for him.



Now Dave, you see, is on a one man mission this season----a ‘mission’ to drink as many different named pints as he can! and like a smaall child he gleefully entered the new beer in his notebook, nearly snappin’ his Ladbrokes pen in the process as he did so! (he’s an very old OAP actually!) (Old Aged Piss-artist!)



“That’s mee 150th different beer so far watchin’ The Toon!”, he said in a treblin’ voice as he shook the said ‘liquid refreshment’ excitedly in his mit! (NO!---we’re NOT! caalled the sad b******s for nothin’!)



It was soon time to heed for the terraces and by this time it had started to rain so we took shelter under some trees on the far side of the pitch as the smaall main stand opposite was chocker block.

A quick look at the team sheet brought a mackem scurryin ower towards iz for a look at who was playin’. “Uwz wa numbih sivin tha naaz?” (“who’s wor number seven, like?) he asked, obviously thinkin’ that aa was ‘one of them’! (god forbid!)

He had a quick look before heedin’ for the perimeter fence to tell his mate.



The match kicked off and aa once more took the team sheet from mee sky rocket as aa was’nt sure of a couple of wor players.

Like a ‘red rag to a bull’ the sight of the A4, one page team sheet again brought another mackem from the trees beside us, askin’ for a look!  (needless to say---aa did’nt fancy this gannin on aall the time, so!, aa kept it under ‘tight wraps’ afta that and it remained in mee trooza pocket for the rest of the match!) 



Just a few minutes after the kick off the sleet started comin’ doon and wor otha travellin’ companion ‘The Caped Crusader’, who was standin’ next to ‘The Mad Professor’ at the front, was shakin’ with the cold and was wavin’ his arms aboot to try and keep waam, but it was a futile exercise in the inclement conditions.



However!---after twenty minutes he did have ‘good reason’ to wave his arms aboot when wor bizarrely named number nine, Nile Ranger put the Toon in front with a nicely placed heeder from a Mark Doninger corner kick.



Unfortunately, the home side levelled just after this when Toon goalie Frazer Forster parried a shot, anly for the mackem number nine to tap home. The loudspeaker then boomed oot that David Dowson had scored for them!-----a name a’m not unfamiliar with as aa used to knock aboot with a Toon fan of the same name in the seventies!

(it definitely was’nt him!)



At half time we heeded back to the warmth of the clubhoose to quensh wor thirsts where aa bumped into a Toon fan who aa naa caalled Wayne.

He actually lives in Hetton and telt us that ‘The Hole’ was 101% mackem and point 1% Geordie (ie: HIM!)



The second period started with wind, rain and sleet to greet us on wor retorn to ‘The Weez Trees Embankment’ (as it was now known!) but as there were ne leaves on the branches it gave us virtually zero protection from the incessant downpour. (and so ‘in effect!’---it was f*****’ pointless standin’ there!???)



Five mins after the restart torned oot to be the tornin’ point of the game in wor favour, when the mackems had a goal disallowed for offside. The resultin’ free kick was quickly taken by  The Toon and Jonny Godsmark raced into home penalty area and latched onto a James Taylor through baall (na- not the singer!) to slam the baall into the net for wot torned oot to be the winner! (which brought muted applause from the sparse Toon followin’!)



An aad mackem gadgie aged aboot 75, who was wearin’ a pair of ‘Joe 90’ specs complete with beer glass bottomed lenses, then rushed towards the perimeter fence to remonstrate with the referee ower the legality of the goal, wavin’ his ‘Gregory Pecks’ menacingly towards the official, shoutin’, “ah think thaa neids theeze, ref!” (“aa think yi need glasses, ref!”)---but it was tooo late!---(ha! ha!) and the goal stood!---2-1!



More incidents were to follow when a mackem midfielder was sent off 12 mins from time for a second bookable offence and then in the last minute of the game The Toon’s Hungarian number 6 Tamas Kagar tragically broke his leg after he went doon in the box. This added TEN minutes injury time to the match and we prayed that we would hold oot as the rain and sleet lashed doon!-------we did!---to claim the victory for Jonezee! ----This was for you mate!  R.I.P.


©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)

 

Sunday, 20 October 2019

CHELSKI 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:40am bells' Sunday 20th October 2019

"SILENCE PLEEZE!---THIS IZ THE QUIET COACH!"

The day started off at 'The Central' (station) where we boarded the '7:56 bells' train to King's Cross (London)

We had 3 table seats, but a lass woz sprawled across 2 of them fast asleep!  'Big Al' (not the sheet metal worker's son!) woke hor up and said she woz lyin' across hiz seat and so she moved to hors by the window az we sat doon.

We started taalkin aboot the match, but she woz non tooo pleezed and pointed oot that this woz 'the quiet coach' and she woz tryin to get some sleep!
I looked at hor and said, "Wot do yoo want us to do if we need to communicate, 'lip read' or do 'sign language'?"
Aa meeen---did she reeely expect us not to utter a word to each othaa on the 3 hour train jorney???

She suggested to 'Big Al' that if we wanted to talk, then we shud gan to the next carriage instead!!!! (Unbeleeevable!)

WE pointed oot that this woz 'the quiet coach' and NOT 'the silent coach' and carried on taakin' 'quietly' az she buried hor heed in hor coat!
Anyway!--- we got to Darlo when the train announcer told us that a train in front had broken doon and we would therefore be delayed!
We eventually moved but unbelievably anothaa train had broken doon outside Donny station and we would be delayed again!
(the SIXTH TIME in a row that we have been delayed on an away train jorney this season!)
We arrived in 'the smoke' (London) 32 minutes late, which meant that we could claim half wor fares back because of this (the 4th time this season that we have put a claim in!)
NEARLY SIX QUID A PINT HERE!

We heeded for Parsons Green which iz a 25 minute walk from Stamford Bridge for the customary pre match 'gargels' in 'The Duke on the Green'---and at £5.95 a pint it woz an expensive 'gargel' to say the least!
We stayed there til it woz time to gan to the match and suprizingly the 'away end' woz completely full of Toon fans, despite NUFC sayin that they had sent some unsold tickets back???
THE TOON ATTACK 'THE SHED END' (2nd half)

The Toon matched Chelski in the forst half and we had several chances, but 'fluffed them' and didn't have one single shot on goal or corner!
The 2nd period woz different az we hardly ventured into the Chelski half, az they went for the jugular, with Dubravka in the Toon goal makin' some great saves!

The home side finally made the breakthrough in the 73rd minute when Alonso hit a low shot into the net, finally beatin' Dubravka!

We tried to make a comeback, but there woz little up front, with wor £40 million signin' Joelinton not firin' again (just 1 goal in 9 games now)
Dwight Galye came on az sub in the 85th minute, and az far az we were aware he nevaa touched the baall once in that time---and he woz not a 'happy bunny' (3 mins of stoppage time included!)

We had NEE shots on target and NEE corners in this half eethaa, az the ref blew for full time! (cant remember the last time this happened!)
Results elsewhere meant that NUFC dropped back into the bottom 3 on goal difference! 
CHEAP DRINKS HERE!---ANLY £5.49!

We heeded back to King's Cross for the final 'gargels' in the 'Barrel Vault' (just £5.49 a pint there!), before catchin' the '7:00 bells' train back to Tyneside, where we arrived 6 minutes late (nee compensation this time, az the train must be at least 30 mins late to claim a refund!)

PS: We wornt in 'the quiet coach' this time and could talk freely!
(Oh the joys of bein able to talk to each othaa withoot any complaints!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Clark, Willems, Almiron (Carroll 70), S. Longstaff, M. Longstaff, Saint-Maximin (Gayle 85), Joelinton (Atsu 83)

Attendance: 40,513 (3,000 Toon fans and nee empty seats!)
SOME OF THE TOON FANS WHO FILLED THE AWAY END!

*Explanations for non Geordie reeeders:
Alan Shearer woz known az 'Big Al' and woz the son of a sheet metal worker
Darlo=Darlington   Donny=Doncaster

Friday, 18 October 2019

AMAZON *** THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE!🦓🦍🦒

Posted '2:30pm bells' Friday 18th October 2019
🦒🦍🦓

*The telly fixtures for December and January finally came oot yesterday, nearly a week after they were supposed to---and now we naa just why, az its a totally chaotic shambles!

Wor game at Sheff U on Tuesday 3rd December haz been moved to THORSDAY 5th December for live transition on Amazon!
Because of this wor home game v Sooothampton on Saturday 7th December haz been moved back a day with a '2:00 bells' kick off and iz NOT on the telly!
I am sure the travellin Sooothampton fans will not be 'happy bunnies' with the prospect of a forced owerneet stay in the north east, az it will be impossible to get a train on Sunday morning from the south cost and make the kick off!

We arnt the anly ones of course who must now play on that Thorsday, with games moved back a day because of this!
Amazon are showin 3 games on the Tuesday, 5 games on the Wedinzday and 2 games on the Thorsday--- with eethaa '7:30 or '8:15 bells' kick offs!

And then on Boxin' Day we must travel to 'The Theatre of Muppets' to play Moan U in a 5:30 bells' start!  (Nee trains on that day!)
Alang with Amazon, we have live games on SKY and BT az well!
(See TV changes in the article below)

Again, we arnt the anly ones who arnt 'happy bunnies' az Liverbird's fans must travel to Lestaa on the same day with an '8:00 bells' kick off time!  Their supporters have demanded that AALL Boxin' Day games kick off at the traditional '3:00 bells', but Amazon hold aall the aces and their demands will fall on 'deaf ears' for certain!
Man City arnt happy eetha az they will have to play 2 games in 46 hours for live telly! ----It's a total shambles for aall concerned!

Of course NUFC must travel to Villa az well, for wor 14th (FOURTEENTH!) Munday away game in a row, for a live game on SKY on 25th November----We are just 'daft Geordies' after aall, and will torn up anyway!
It's 'the law of the jungle' and Amazon (sic!), SKY and BT rule OK!

Amazingly, we travel to London tomorrow to take on Chelski in a '3:00 bells' kick off!----that's reet!---'THREE BELLS' with nee live telly!!!, meanin we can get there and back on the same day---which iz a 'novelty', to say the least! (We have appeared 6 times on the telly so far and are due to appear anothaa 7 times before the end of January)

A full match report on the Chelski game will appear here on Sunday, sometime! 

Thursday, 17 October 2019

TELLY FIXTURES FOR DECEMBER AND JANUARY RELEASED AT '5:00 PM BELLS' (AT LAST!)

Posted '4:03pm bells' Thorsday 17th October 2019
Updated '5:10pm bells'----AT LAST---SEE FIX BELOW!

"DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET AZ A THICK FOG 
HAZ DESCENDED OWER THE PREMYAA LEEGUE HQ!"

The saga of just when the Premyaa Leegue telly fixtures will be released for December and January, just gans on--and on---AND ON!
It woz supposed to be last Friday---but nowt appeared?

Then it woz this Munday---but nowt appeared??

Then it woz yesterday---but nowt appeared???

Then it woz at 'high noon bells' today---but nowt appeared???? 

And now we hear that it will DEFINATLY be in just under an hours time at '5:00 pm bells' this evenin'-----We await with sarcasm and baited breath for the latest deadline!????? (But don't 'hold it in' for toooo lang!)😵

If by some miracle they DO eventually release the 'said' telly fixtures, 'The Geordie Times' will let yiz naa ASAP! "ZZZZzzzz!!!!"😴

NUFC TELLY FIXTURES, LATEST! ('5:10pm bells')

DECEMBER
Thorsday 5th '7:30 bells': Sheff U away (Amazon)
Sunday 8th '2:00 bells': Sooothampton home (nee telly)
Saturday 14th '3:00 bells': Bornley away (nee telly)
Saturday 21st '3:00 bells': Palliss home (nee telly)
Thorsday 26th '5:30 bells': Moan U away (Amazon)
Saturday 28th '3:00 bells': Evaatin home (nee telly)

JANUARY
Wedinsday 1st '3:00 bells': Lestaa home (BT)
Saturday 11th '3:00 bells': Wulvzz away (nee telly)
Saturday 18th '5:30 bells': Chelski home (SKY)
Tuesday 21st ''7:30 bells': Evaatin away (nee telly)

Wednesday, 16 October 2019

TELLY TIMES FROM 1st DECEMBER TO NEW YEARS DAY???

Posted '4:35pm bells' Munday 14th October 2019
Updated '3:33pm bells' Wedinzday

FIVE DAYS LATE!!---and the fixtures for live transmition for December and New Years Day have still not been announced! (again!)
They were supposed to be released last Friday, but we are still waitin' on Wedinzday???

The Toon's fixtures for December and News Years Day may well be changed when The Premyaa Leegue finally gives 'the nod' for the TV companies to tell us, so that we can book time off work, trains, etc! 
(The nearer the game--the more it wi££ cost!)

Currently theeze are the dates below----some of which are sure to be moved!!!???

Tuesday 3rd December: Sheff U away, live on Amazon

Saturday 7th December: Sooothampton home
Saturday 14th December: Bornley away
Saturday 21st December: Palliss home
Thorsday 26th December: Moan U away, live on Amazon
Saturday 28th December: Evaatin home
Wedinzday 1st January: Lestaa home

*The Geordie Times will of course bring yoo, wor loyal subjects, news of the changes, when they can be bothered to tell us---like!? 

PS: We can't for the life of us, understand just why they tell us when the fixtures will be announced---and then don't tell us!?






PS: The Premyaa Leegue said on Wedinzday afternoon that 
"Selections would defiantly arrive by the end of the week!"
Withoot specifyin' "WHICH WEEK!"???? (This week, next week, last week???)
FROM 'THE DAILY MAIL ONLINE'



Monday, 14 October 2019

GROUNDS VISITED WATCHIN' NUFC (1st visits) (Updated: Munday 14th October 2019)

THE MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER'S LIST OF
GROUNDS VISITED WATCHIN' NUFC
 (1st visits)  last coont 344
GROOND NUMBER 001***ST JAMES' PARK IN THE 1960s

I woz asked a question a while back az to just how many groonds I had visited to watch NUFC teams!
My reply woz "Ower 300!"
Which brought a look of bemusement from the person who asked the question!
When yoo 'fink' aboot it, there ARE anly 92 leegue groonds and when aa started coontin' the groonds I had been te in the 1980's the total woz aboot 63 or 64!

Then add in aall the European groonds and resorve and junior groonds a'v visited since and the total rose dramatically!
When a'd 'done the ton' (Tranmere in 1991) aa honestly thought that it woz impossible to de 200 (Ayr United)---never mind 300 (the reeel Stadium of Light, home of Benfica!)

IT'S HARD TO BELEEEVE!---ISN'T IT???
Well!, below iz mee record of groonds visited ower the last 50 odd years!
(More details will be added to teams played etc --WHEN? aa get time!)

PS: Glennn from Ashington haz done more groonds!----350 plus, includin' many trainin groond games (ie: games on fields!)
John 'The Undertaker' had done 333 by 2014
He woz on hiz way to New Zealand to watch The Toon 5 years ago, when alang with 'Liam from the Lamp', hiz plane woz shot doon ower the Ukraine and nearly 300 people died!
John's total would now be in the 350's!--while Liam woz hiz 'apprentice' with 80 odd groonds

The anly othaa Toon fan who haz done more than 300 groonds iz nufc.com's very own 'Biffa the Beer', with 330 (plus) Toon groonds under hiz belt!
Last Tuesday 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers visited wor latest new ground---New Meadow, Shrewsbury where NUFC U21s lost 3-0 against Shrewsbury's 1st team (scroll doon page for match report 344 )

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!) (344 and coontin'!)

KEY:
GOLD = 1st team games
YELLOW = Mixed team friendlies (ie: 1st team, reserve team and junior team mix)
BLUE = European competitions and other overseas friendly games
PINK = Reserve/U23/U21 teams
GREEN = Academy/U18/U16 games
MAROON = Scottish friendly games
MAROON/BLUE = Scottish/European game 

Decade by decade record

1960's

001 st james park. newcastle (v coventry city)

 002 joker park. blunderland

 003 anfield. liverpool

 004 arsenal stadium. arsenal

 005 molineux. wolves

 006 loftus road. qpr

 007 maine road. man city

 008 the dell. southampton

 009 boleyn ground. west ham

 010 ibrox park.glasgow. rangers (inter cities fairs cup)

 011 highfield road. coventry

 1970's

012 redheugh park. gateshead

 013 city ground. nottm forest

 014 selhurst park. crystal palace

 015 bloomfield road. blackpool

 016 goodison park. everton

 017 filbert street. leicester

 018 the victoria ground. stoke

 019 the hawthorns. west brom

 020 leeds road. huddersfield

 021 edgar street. h******d!

 022 bramall lane. sheff united

 023 the baseball ground. derby

 024 stamford bridge. chelsea

 025 old trafford. man united

 026 white hart lane. spurs

 027 ayresome park. boro

 028 old show ground. scunthorpe

 029 elland road. leeds

 030 hillsborough. sheffield (v burnley)

 031 wembley stadium (v liverpool)

 032 brunton park. carlisle

 033 st andrews. birmingham

 034 turf moor. burnley

 035 sealand road. chester

 036 fellows park. walsall

 037 kenilworth road. luton

 038 portman road. ipswich

 039 burnden park. bolton

 040 boothferry park. hull

 041 london road. peterborough

 042 racecourse ground. wrexham

 043 gateshead stadium. gateshead

 044 shielfield park. berwick rangers (v N/cleX1)

 045 the den. millwall

 046 abbey stadium. cambridge

 047 meadow lane. notts county

 048 the valley. charlton athletic

 049 eastville stadium. bristol rovers

 050 craven cottage. fulham

 051 goldstone ground. brighton

 052 brisbane road. orient (they added 'leyton' later)

 053 boundary park. oldham

 054 deepdale. preston north end

 055 home park. plymouth argyle

 056 vetch field. swansea

 1980's

 057 st james park. exeter city

 058 carrow road. norwich city

 059 oakwell. barnsley

 060 millmoor. rotherham united

 061 the victoria ground. hartlepool

 062 ewood park. blackburn rovers

 063 gay meadow. shrewsbury

 064 blundell park. grimsby

 065 ninian park. cardiff city

 066 manor ground. oxford

 067 fratton park. portsmouth

 068 feethams. darlington

 069 palmerston park. queen of the south

 070 easter road. hibernian

 071 portland park. ashington

 072 valley parade. bradford city

 073 vicarage road. watford

 074 croft park.blyth

 075 villa park. aston villa

 076 douglas bowl. douglas (v isle of man X1). isle of man

 077 castletown (v portsmouth). isle of man

 078 ferens park. durham city

 079 hillheads. whitley bay

 080 odsal stadium. bradford city

 081 plough lane. Wimbledon

 082 tynecastle park. hearts

 083 athletic ground. scarborough

 084 cappilow park. morton

 085 st james park. alnwick

 086 dens park. dundee

 087 federation park. dunston

 088 york street. boston

 089 starks park. raith rovers

 090 dean court. bournemouth

 091 elm park. reading

 092 county ground. swindon

 1990's

093 vale park. port vale

 094 new huish park. yeovil

 095 mcdiamid park. st johnstone

 096 east end park. dunfermline

 097 ashton gate. bristol city

 098 twerton park. bath (v bristol rovers)

 099 home park. coldstream (n/cle X1)

 100 prenton park. tranmere rovers

 101 gresty road. crewe

 102 roots hall. southend

 103 benwell training ground. newcastle (v leeds juniors)

 104 millfield ground. crook town

 105 bootham crescent. york city

 106 belle view. doncaster rovers

 107 field mill. mansfield town

 108 griffin park. brentford

 109 porta elisa. lucchese. Italy (anglo Italian cup)

 110 stadio san nicola. bari. Italy (anglo Italian cup)

 111 castle ward sports centre. ponteland

 112 glanford park. scunthorpe

 113 derwent park. annfield plain

 114 the glebe ground. whickham

 115 normanby road. southbank (v mboro juniors)

 116 backworth park. west allotment

 117 springfield park. wigan (v leeds res)

 118 kingsway. bishop Auckland

 119 recreation park. murton

 120 the victoria pleasure grounds. goole (won 10-0)

 121 windsor park. belfast. northern Ireland (friendly)

 122 maiden castle. durham (v Hartlepool juniors--won 10-1)

 123 bosoilstadion. antwerp. Belgium (uefa cup)

 124 estadio san mames. athletic bilbao (uefa cup)

 125 kimberley park. Prudhoe (Northumberland senior cup)

 126 mcalpine stadium. Huddersfield (v h,field juniors) (also been for 1st team games)

 127 bower fold. stalybridge (v oldham res)

 128 nene park. Rushden and diamonds

 129 wheatsheaf ground. rtm newcastle

 130 Victoria road. hebburn

 131 celtic park.glasgow. celtic

 132 the shay. halifax (v leeds res)

 133 the riverside stadium. middlesbrough

 134 sam smiths sports ground. benfield park (now Newcastle Benfield)

 135 central avenue. billingham (v mboro juniors)

 136 bucks head. telford (v wolves res)

 137 athletic club ground . darlington (v darlo juniors) (northern int league--won 9-0)

 138 gigg lane. bury (v man u res)

 139 haig avenue . southport (v liverpool res)

 140 albany park. Washington (v man c u19s)

 141 meadow park. ryhope (v rosenburg juniors)

 142 sincil bank. lincoln

 143 stade constant vanden stock. brussels. belgium (v anderlecht) (friendly)

 144 orjans vall. halmstad. Sweden (uefa cup)

 145 ulloi ut. ferencvaros. hungary (uefa cup)

 146 blue flames sports ground. benton (v darlo juniors) (also reserve games)

 147 blackhall welfare ground. blackhall (v hpool juniors)

 148 stade st. symphorien. metz. france (uefa cup)

 149 doctor pitt welfare park. bedlington

 150 stade louis II. as monaco. france (uefa cup)

 151 wentworth park. hexham (v northumberland fa X1)

 152 lansdowne road. dublin. ireland

 153 victory park. chorley

 154 stadio dino manuzzi. cesena. italy (v juventus) (friendly)

 155 new ferens park. durham city

 156 stadion maksimir. zagreb. Croatia (champions league)

 157 craik park. morpeth town

 158 respublikansky stadion. kiev. Ukraine (champions league)

 159 dean street. shildon (v darlo juniors)

 160 monchester sports centre. walker central

 161 recreation ground. chesterfield

 162 philips stadion. psv eindhoven. Holland (champions league)

 163 bescott stadium. walsall (v villa res)

 164 deva stadium. chester

 165 pride park. derby

 166 nou camp. barcelona. spain (champions league)

 167 reebok stadium. lostock. bolton

 168 broadhall way. stevenage

 169 thorpe arch grange. wetherby (v leeds juniors)

 170 dalymount park. dublin. bohemians. Ireland (friendly)

 171 carlisle grounds. bray. Ireland (friendly)

 172 the brewery field. spennymoor

 173 kingston park. newcastle (v wrexham res)

 174 jna stadium. partisan belgrade. yugoslavia (now Serbia) (champions league)

 175 mckendrick villas. cowgate. newcastle (v lemington)

 176 ewan fields. hyde (v stockport res)

 177 rockcliffe park. hurworth (v mboro juniors)

 178 the riverside. chester le street (v man c u17s)

 179 ecco stadion. s-hertogenbosch. holland (v den bosch) (friendly)

 180 sportspark kranenmortel. dearne. holland (v sv dearne) (friendly)

 181 stadion de braak. helmond. holland (v helmond sport) (friendly)

 182 almondville stadium. Livingston

 183 tannadice park. dundee united

 184 madejski stadium. reading

 185 brittannia stadium. stoke city

 186 ruhrstadion. Bochum.germany ( v vfl bochum) (friendly)

 187 belle view park. consett

 188 stadion bulgarska armia. sofia. Bulgaria (uefa cup)

 189 stadion letzigrund donnerstag. fc zurich. Switzerland (uefa cup)

 190 stadio olympico. rome. Italy (uefa cup)

 2000's

191 stadium of "ssshhhh!". blunderland

 192 auto quest stadium. widnes (v everton res)

 193 rfk stadium. washington dc. usa (v dc united) (friendly)

 194 crew stadium. columbus. ohio. usa (v columbus crew) (friendly)

 195 borough park. workington

 196 de kuip stadium. rotterdam. holland  (v feyenoord) (friendly)

 197 monjuic/olympic stadium. barcelona. spain (v espanyol)

 198 knowsley road. st helens (v liverpool res)

 199 new broomfield park.airdrie (v airdrieonians) (friendly)

 200 somerset park. ayr united (friendly)

 201 bullocksteads. newcastle (v everton u17s)

 202 daknam stadium. lokeren. Belgium (inter toto cup)

 203 galabank. annan athletic

 204 olympic stadium. munich. germany (v munich 1860) (inter toto cup)

 205 wheatley park. garforth (v northern alliance u19s)

 206 stade l'aube. troyes. france (inter toto cup final 1st leg)

 207 king george v playing fields. guisborough

 208 christie park. Morecambe (v Blackburn reserves)

 209 estadia nuevo colombino. heulva. spain (v rd heulva) (n/cle reserves)

 210 racecourse ground. durham (v mboro u19s)

 211 st marys stadium. southampton

 212 ralph gardner park. north shields

 213 sportspark 't slot. rotterdam. holland (v  vv capelle) (friendly)

 214 wetherby road. harrogate (v harrogate town)

 215 killingworth young persons centre. killingworth (v walker central   u18s)

 216 olimpijski stadion. fk zeljeznicar.sarajevo (champions league)

 217 stadio delle alpi.juventus.italy (champions league)

 218 lyme valley stadium.newcastle u lyme (v stoke u19s)

 219 bay arena. Bayer Leverkusen. Germany (champions league)

 220 san siro. Inter milan. Italy (champions league)

 221 new douglas park.hamilton

 222 kc stadium.hull

 223 raydale park.gretna

 224 county ground.Leyland (v Bolton res)

 225 little Benton. Newcastle (v Barnsley u19s)

 226 mycom stadium. Breda. France

 227 st Jacobs park. basel. switzerland 

 228 walkers stadium. Leicester

 229 belle vue. leeds (leeds res)

 230 ullevaal stadium. Valarenga. Norway

 231 estadi son moix. Rcd Mallorca. Mallorca. Spain

 232 reynolds arena. Darlington. (darlington res) (Newcastle reserve reserves!)

 233 moss lane. Altrincham (v man u res)

 234 city of manchester stadium. Man city

 235 stade velodrome. Olimpique Marseille. France

 236 ramat gan stadium. Tel aviv. Isreal (v hapoel bnei sak)

 237 nea smymi stadium. Athens. Greece (v panionios)

 238 stade auguste bonal, Sochaux. France

 239 damson park. solihull (Birmingham res)

 240 aggborough. Kidderminster (v wba res)

 241 abe lenstra. Herenveen. Holland

 242 georgios kar. Athens. Greece (v olympiakos)

 243 sports city. (Man city res)

 244 jose avalade. Lisbon. Portugal (v Sporting Lisbon)

 245 millenium stadium. Cardiff (v Man u)

 246 mestsky stadium. Dubnica.slovakia

 247 razor stadium. Deportevo. Spain

 248 la roseleda. Malaga. Spain

 249 robin park. Wigan (v wigan res)

 250 kingsley park. ryton        

 251 jjb stadium. wigan

 252 west terrace. waterhouses (v esh winning)

 253 south leeds stadium. leeds  (v leeds reserves)

 254 darsley park. benton.newcastle (v Middlesbrough u18s)

 255 whaddon road cheltenham

 256 aresen stadion. lillestrom. Norway (v lillestrom sk) 

 257 skonto stadium. riga. latvia (v fk ventspils)

 258 a le coq arena. Tallinn. Estonia (v levadia Tallinn)

 259 estadio renzo barbera. palermo. sicily . Italy (Palermo)

 260 emirates stadium.london  (v arsenal)

 261 commerzbank arena. Frankfurt. Germany (v eintract Frankfurt)

 262 jules ottenstadion. gent. Belgium (v sv zulte waregem) 

 263 dsb stadion. Alkmaar. Holland (v az Alkmaar)

 264 halliwell jones stadium warrington (v everton res)

 265 victoria stadium/marston's arena. Northwich. Cheshire (v man u res)

 266 keepmoat stadium Doncaster

 267 ricoh arena. Coventry

 268 welfare ground. hetton le hole (s/land res)

 269 church road. north ferriby (hull res)

 270 tallaght stadium Dublin ( v shamrock rovers) (friendly)

 271 woodhorn lane ashington

 272 cardiff city stadium. cardiff city

  273: don valley stadium. Sheffield (v R/ham res)

 2010s 

 274 liberty stadium. Swansea  

  275 crown ground .Accrington  

  276 champions hill stadium. dulwich hamlet (u18s)  

  277 great barr. west brom  (v wba res) 

  278 leighsports village stadium. leigh. (v Blackburn res) 

  279 shirecliffe. Sheffield (v sheff u u18s)

  280 veld 7. almere. Holland (res v almere city)  

  281 b2 net stadium. chesterfield (v c/field res)  

  282 parc y scarlets. Llanelli (v Swansea res)

  283 amex stadium. falmer (v brighton)  

  284a and 284b academy of sshh (yee naa wot). cleadon (v s'land u18s & u16s) 

  285 NOT motspur park. london (v Fulham res through a fence!) 

  285a and 285b middlewood. Sheffield (v sheff wed u18s)

  286 brockhall academy .Blackburn (v b/burn u18s) 

  287 gellert stadium.chemnitz. germany (v chemnitzer)

  288 estadio Algarve. faro. Portugal  

  289 kyocera stadion. the hague. holland (v den haag)

  290 municipal stadium of peristeri. Athens. greece (v atromitos)

  291 estadio dos barreiros. maritime. madeira  

  292 bulls cross training complex.london (v spurs reserves)

  293 jan breydel stadion. brugge. Belgium  

  294 underhill. barnet. London (v arsenal u18s)  

  295 stade chaban delmas. Bordeaux.france  

  296 silverlake stadium eastleigh (v southampton res)  

  297 metalist stadium. karkiv. ukraine  

  298 luzhniki stadium. Moscow. russia (v anzi)  

  299 clayton wood. stoke (v stoke u21s)

 300 estadio da luz. Lisbon. Portugal (v benfica)

  301 fir park. motherwell  

  302 rugby park. kilmarnock (u21s v Kilmarnock X1)

  303 st Mirren park. paisley. (v St Mirren) 

  304 globe arena. morecambe 

  305 Pirelli stadium burton (v aston villa u21s)

  306 belle vue stadium. consett  

  307 NOT! woodside park bishop's stortford (match postponed at last minute!)

  307a and 307b aon training complex. Carrington. manchester (v man u u18s & 16s)

  308 veltins arena .Gelsenkirchen. germany (v west ham & shalke 04)

  309 priesfield stadium. Gillingham  

  310 meadow park. Borehamwood. london (v arsenal u21s) 

  311 grounsell park .heaton stannington  

  312 platt lane academy man city (v man city u18s) 

  313 bigges main wallsend (u21s v wallsend bc senior X1)

  314 the new den millwall (v millwall u18s)

  315 lostock bolton (v Bolton u18s)  

  316 oakwood training centre. derby (v derby u21s)

  317 city football academy complex (pitch 8) v manchester city u18s)

  318 new manor ground. Ilkeston  

  319 broadfield stadium crawley (v brighton U21s)

  320 horsfall stadium. bradford pa (u21s v Bradford pa)

  321 victoria road.dagenham. essex (v west ham res)  

  322 new york stadium Rotherham  

  323 roundwood pavilion. (v Rotherham u23s)

  324 kassam stadium. oxford
 
  325 turnbull ground. Whitby {v celtic u23s}

 
326 opel arena. mainz. Germany


  327 st George's park. near burton. (v stoke u23s)
 
  328 heritage park. near bishop Auckland (v Middlesbrough u23s)
 
  329 Weston homes community stadium. Colchester (v Colchester u23s)

 330 London stadium. stratford .London (v whu)

 331 edgeley park. stockport (v burnley u23s)

 332 braken moor lane. stocksbridge (v sheff U u23s)

 333 adams park. high wycombe (v reading u23s)

 334 holker street. barrow

 335 richmond park, dublin, ireland (v St Pats Athletic)

 336 trungle parc, mousehole (v Bolton u18s)

337 estadio dragoa. porto. Portugal

338 nethermoor park. guiseley (v leeds u23s)

339 kingfield stadium. woking (v reading u23s)

340 hibernian training ground. near Tranent (v Hibs u21s)

341 tottenham hotspur stadium. London

342 moss rose. Macclesfield (u21s v Macclesfield's 1st team)

343 roy west centre. hull (u23s v hull u23s)

344 new meadow. shrewsbury (u21s v Shrewsbury's 1st team) 
*

   





























   











   





 


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