Monday 31 January 2022


 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 31st January 2022

It will be a hectic day today on the last day of the transfor window and we hear that Villa full back Matt Targett iz at wor trainin groond for a medical, az we speak! A loan deal iz expected for the 26 year old!

A bid for 19 year old striker Hugo Ekitike haz been accepted from French club Reims for a reported £33 million!, However!---Hugo needs convincin' that this iz the reet move for him! (Latest report!)

While confirmation of 6 feet 7ins tall defender Dan Burn's transfor from Brightin iz awaited! A £13 million fee haz been mentioned (He iz from Blyth in Northumberland and iz a Toon fan!)

This meeenz that we will have signed at least 6 outfield players in the window, if they aall come off!  (More than half a team!) And spent ower £110 million! (More than we have spent in the last 14 January transfor windows put together, under 'The Fat Controllers' disastrous reign!)

The Geordie Times aalso understands that Jesse Lingard could aalso sign before the '11:00pm deadline! (loan or permanent?)

Plus, we (The Geordie Times) havvint ruled oot a move for Carlos from Saville in a last gasp deal!

We will dee wor best to keep yoo informed of any developments!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Deadline updates here:

Ekitike deal off

Targett signs

Lingard deal off

Burn signs at last minute

Carlos no go

That's 5 players in, in total, includin' Trippier, Wood and 'Bruno'!

Sunday 30 January 2022


 Posted '4:11pm bells' Sunday 30th January 2022




Wor 4th signin' of the transfor window sees 24 year old Brazilian defensive midfeeelder Bruno Guimaraes join us from Olimpique Lionnais (subject to a medical in Brazil) for a fee of £30 million plus bonuses of £8 million if we avoid relegation!                            
The wheels are back on!!!!!

From the official NUFC website!


 Posted '12:45pm bells Sunday 30th January 2022

News that Brightin defender Dan Burn haz signed for The Toon for £13 million haz reaches The Geordie Times!

At last we have another defender to help shore up wor leaky defence!

Friday 28 January 2022


 Posted '5:30pm bells' Friday 27th January 2022

Unfortunatley the game woz played behind closed doors with nee telly coverage!

Saint Max scored in the 9th minute with a fine shot, but the home side equalized 25 mins later.

Ryan Fraser won it for us with an effort in the 57th minute! 

Ciaran Clark woz sent off for punchin' one of their players, who woz aalso sent off!

Wednesday 26 January 2022


 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 26th January 2022

Updated Thorsday '12:30pm bells'

News that both the Diego Carlos and Jesse Lingard deals are in jeopardy haz reached The Geordie Times!  In Carlos's case Sevilla keep puttin the price up from a forst reported 25 million Euros ---to 30 million---to 35 million---and now we hear to 38 million!  NUFC say they will not be 'blackmailed' and are standin firm!

With just 5 days of the transfor window left the deal iz on a knife edge, but will Sevilla 'panic' on the last day and except the lower bids which we have offered??? (The telly quiz game, 'Call my Bluff' comes to mind!)

In Lingard's case, Moan U want a much bigger loan fee than NUFC have offered!---Again, it could aall gan doon to the last day of the window with othaa deals in the 'pipeline' az well az a 40 million Euros bid for Lyon's Bruno Guimaraes, which we hear haz been excepted!?

Like we've said previously, we wont speculate until he/they are wavin a black n white scarf above hiz/their heeds OR wearin' a Toon top in a photo shoot! (Or BOTH!)

Meeenwhile!, The Toon are currently in Saudi Arabia for warm weather trainin and a friendly against Saudi's best club Al-Itthad on Friday behind closed doors with NEE live telly coverage!

So spare a thought for the Toon fan, who I hord at the Leeedz game, had booked flights to Saudi at £570 for the game, he cant now gan tee!!!!

Updated Thorzday '12:30pm bells'

Sunday 23 January 2022


Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Sunday 23rd January 2022


The talk on the train on the way to Leeedz woz just how many goals we would be beaten by today!---Honestly, not one Toon fan we spoke to, expected an away win!

Anyway!--we arrived at '11:30 bells' and heeded for a bar we naa near the station, weirdly caalled  'The Friends of Ham'---a reeeel ale bar which woz half full (or empty?)!

A few 'gargels' there and it woz off to anothaa bar roond the corner caalled 'The Brewery Tap'

before heedin for the busses which yi need to catch coz Elland Road iz aboot 4 miles from Leeedz city centre!

The queue for the busses woz  mostly Leeedz and they slagged us off az we waited!---Toon fans even had wor own double deckers to take us to the groond and a steward gave us wrist bands to say that we'd been checked for Covid passes with 'Newcastle' written on them so we could get on the right bus! (There were nee Covid checks actually---they just handed oot the bands with nee checks at aall!)

After a 15 minute jorney we arrived at the away car park and heeded inside after chaotic scenes at the tornstiles where some Toon fans tickets barcodes didnt work and stayed on 'red'! (The red light woz supposed to torn to green to open the tornstliles!)
Those fans were told to try anothaa tornstile and gan to the back of the queue by stewards and try the next one alang!!!(There woz 'hell on'!)

Luckily mine worked and 'in aa went' to more chaotic scenes in the away concourse, which woz packed to the rafters!

After a much needed trip to 'the toolshed' aa made mee way to the seats to get away from the crush!

The Toon fans were dead noisy az the teams ran oot. with Leeedz in aall white and 'us' in aall black!

NUFC had a couple of great chances to take the lead, but a great save from a Shelvey piledriver in particular, woz pushed away by the home keeper!  Leeedz in the meantime couldnt got oot of the blocks  HT 0-0 (We didnt expect that!)

We then hord that some Toon fans had smashed a gate doon to get in coz their tickets wouldn't let them in--az mentioned above!-- This included ticket less fans az well--hence the chaos inside!

NUFC came oot in the 2nd period with 'aall guns blazin ' az we attacked the 'Don Revie Stand' at the far end from where the 2,690 away fans were situated. (Plus those who didn't have tickets!)

And then the definin' moment of the game!-----A free kick woz awarded to us on the edge of the box in the 75th minute and eetha Shelvey or Trippier would take it!---Trippier told Jonjo to take it and he hit a hard shot which woz fumbled by their keeper and went straight into the net to put The Toon 1-0 up!-----This sent wor fans into delirium az they fell ower seats in wild celebratons!----But could we hold on az there woz still 15 plus minutes to gan???----We had lost a staggerin 21 points from winnin positions this season----the last one a heartbreakin equaliser in the 88th minute from Wotfaad at SJP the week before, which would have lifted us oot of the relegation places!

Saint Max woz then tripped in the box, but the ref, standin just feet away, waved play on, with nee VAR check at aall!

6 nailbitin minutes of stoppage time were added, but we held on this time to crazy celebrations at the final whistle, to put wor survival hopes 'back on track'!

FT 1-0 to NUFC! (We didnt expect that!)

ATTENDANCE: 36,405 (2,690 very happy Toon fans!---plus those who broke the gates doon!)

Kieran Trippier woz ootstandin and withoot doubt woz a great buy in the transfor window---Aalso Chris Wood won 15 ariel duals--the best in the Premyaa Leegue this season!---a 2 week break for internationals and hopefully more new faces in the team before we play Evaatin at SJP on Tuesday February 8th-----They are just 4 points above us now! 

This woz the forst away win that Toon fans had seen live for nearly TWO YEARS! (Sooothampton away in March 2020!--just before the Covid lockdoon!)

We heeded back to 'The Brewery Tap' for some celebratory 'gargels', before catchin the train yem!

Footnote: Here's a tip aboot match tickets.

NEVAA fold them and keep them in your back pocket, coz the barcode could get creased and damaged when yoo sit doon! 

Then it might not work when yoo reach the tornstiles

Keep them flat inside a wallet in your front pocket or purse to avoid damage!

Friday 21 January 2022


 Posted just after 'high noon bells' onwards, Friday 21st January 2022

"WE JUST CAN'T GET IT 'OWER THE LINE'! (Where have we hord that before!?)

In Eddie Howe's press conference this mornin',  he say he doesn't expect anymore players to sign before the deadline to play at Leeedz, which iz 'high noon bells' TODAY! (Leeedz game '3:00 bells' tomorrow) He says it haz been a fruitless search this week!

Quite simply NUFC are bein' held to ransom by clubs knowin' that we are the richest club in the world, desperate to bring new faces in!

(ie: We make a great offer and its rejected time and time again)

The Carlos saga and Lingard loan deal spring to mind, az we battle to avoid the dreaded drop! (Plus numerous other players, too many to mention here---see below!)

A very important game takes place tooneet when Wotfaad play Nohrich at Vicarage Road!   A Wotfaad win will take them 5 points clear of us  and a Nohrich win will take them 4 points clear!

So a draw, without doubt iz the best result for us!

Can we get anything at Elland Road tomorrow???----Lets hope so, or else it will be even harder to 'escape' the bottom 3 come the beginnin of February!  Leedz are 'on a high' at the moment and are odds on favorites to take the points!

The Toon are off on a trainin' camp to Saudi Arabia straight after the Leeedz game and a friendly against unknown opposition haz been mentioned!   This iz because there iz yet anothaa international break!

*The staggerin number of players we have been linked with!!!


Updated '8:00am bells' Saturday
Nohrich won 3-0 at Wotfaad, meeenin that we are now 4 points from safety!

A full Geordie Times match report from the Leeedz game will appear here sometime on Sunday!
Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Thursday 20 January 2022


 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 20th January 2022

Brentfaad and West 'am tickets are now on sale to Toon fans!

Leeedz tickets for Saturday are sold oot and we have been allocated 2,690 tickets

For West 'am yoo need 100 loyalty points to get your hands on a ticket!

And for Brentfaad yoo need a staggerin' 180 loyalty points to get one! (That's fans who have been to at least 180 away games!)

Even the SMB derby tickets anly went to 150 loyalty points the last time we played them in 2016

So Brentfaad iz the highest points total ever needed, since the loyalty system woz introduced in 1995!  Wor allocation iz just 1,700 or so tickets, az their brand new groond anly holds 17,000 (10%) 

Obviously any new groond meeenz that more 'Toonhoppers' want to gan, to get it of their 'list'!

Wednesday 19 January 2022


 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 19th January 2022

Rumours abound that NUFC are aboot to sign centre half Diago Carlos from Spanish club Savilla and that he haz put a transfor request in!

Jesse Lingard amongst others haz aallso been mentioned, but like we say at The Geordie Times, we wont beleeeve it until they are eethaa holdin a black n white scarf above their heeds or wearin a Toon top in a photo shoot!

But one things for certain!---time iz runnin oot to register any new players (Friday at 'high noon bells') so they can play at Leeedz on Saturday!

We await with baited breath to see wot happens in the next 48 hours! 

Tuesday 18 January 2022


 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 18th January 2022

Tooneets game between Bornley and Wotfaad haz been caalled off because of Covid in the Bornley camp!

This could be a bit of 'good news' for NUFC, az a depleted Bornley would surely have lost if the Premyaa Leegue had made them 'play on'

Wotfaad would then have been 5 points above us if they had won!  

And spare a thought for their travellin fans, who have had this game postponed twice with less than 24 hours notice! (Trains, hotels booked etc!)

The Toon are still tryin desperately to add at least 2 more players to wor squad for Saturday's game at Leeedz, who are on a 'high' after beatin' West 'am at the weekend!

It's provin' very difficult to persuade top class players to come to a club that iz in a relegation battle!---Lets hope we can get them in this week!?

There's still a glimmer of hope yet, to avoid the drop and next Saturday will surely be the last throw of the dice for us!----ie: Anothaa 'must win' game----or at least a draw!

PS: Just looked at the fixtures and Wotfaad play Nohrich at home on Friday neet----So we could indeed be 5 points behind them if they win that one!!!!---Or 4 points behind Nohrich if they win!!!! 

A goalless draw pleeeeze!!!🙏 

Monday 17 January 2022


 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Munday 17th January 2022

Updated Tuesday 'high noon bells'

At '7:00 bells' tooneet wor youth team are in action at SJP in the FA Youth Cup 4th roond v Colchester!

The game haz been moved from Whitley Park at the last minute!

Get there if yoo can and cheer wor youngins to victory!

Anly The East Stand iz open (az per usual for these games) and admission iz free to season ticket holders!

Aaall others----£3 for big kids and £1 for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

Updated Tuesday '11:31am bells'

NUFCs youngins won an epic cup tie 3-2 after bein 3-0 up!

An own goal from a Colchestaa defender in the 9th minute opened the scorin' at The Gallowgate End and it woz 1-0 to 'us' at HT

We went forthaa aheed in the 52nd minute, when Jamie Miley sent a free kick into the box and Callum McNally woz on hand to fire into the corner of the net! 

It woz 3-0 when Michael Ndiweni hit a shot home 10 minutes later!

Attendance: 1,279, mostly housed in the lower tier of The East Stand

A late fight back from wor visitors reduced the deficit to 3-2, but we managed to haad on to win the tie!

It's Blackpoool away in the 5th roond!

Sunday 16 January 2022


 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 16th January 2022


Another must win game that we didnt win, but we were just 3 minutes from claimin' wor 2nd win of the season when disaster struck and Wotfaad equalised to cacel oot a great goal by St. Maximin in the 49th minute, when he jinked past the Wotfaad defence to hit a great shot past their keeper at The Leazes End!

In the forst half Joelinton hit the post at The Gallowgate End, which woz the closest we came to scorin in that half!

A very scrappy game played oot between 2 relegation rivals and 2 vital points dropped in wor bid to escape the 'drop'!

Chris Wood made hiz debut at centre forward, but didnt get very good service from the rest and the anly shot on target of the whole game woz 'Maxy's goal!

After Maxy's goal we sat back to try and defend the lead, instead of gannin for a 2nd goal!--And did we pay the price!

More players are needed for sure, or else we fear the worst now, az Bornley play Wotfaad in midweek and whatever the score, it will be bad for us!

Leeedz away next Saturday---and we need at least 4 more players to shore up wor central midfield and defence, which haz conceded in every one of wor 20 Premyaa Leegue games--bar ONE (Bornley)!

We have now lost a staggerin' 21 points from NINE winnin positions this season!---Like we said at the top--"We just couldn't hold on!---Yet again!"

Attendance:52,223 (1,500 from Wotfaad)

*This post on Twitter just aboot sums up where wor problems lie!

And this one sums up wor plight!

Friday 14 January 2022


 Posted '1:20pm bells' Friday 14th January 2022

We gan into tomorrows game v Wotfaad, now knowin' that victory will take us oot of the bottom 3, az Bornley's game v Sooothampton haz been postponed coz of Covid in the 'Hillbillies' camp!

This game iz indeed a relegation 6 pointer and with the addition of Kieran Trippier and Chris Wood, NUFC have a great chance of climbin' oot of the relegation zone for the forst time this season! (More signings are imminent, but too late to play tomorrow!)

The fact that we have won just ONE solitary game aall season and can escape the relegation places, iz amazin' and shows just how bad the teams are at the bottom of the table (includin 'us'!)

Nohrich lost in midweek again and remain bottom of the pile, while we will 'leapfrog' both Bornley and wor opponents tomorrow, IF we can get the 3 points!?7

It will be very interestin' indeed to see the team line up come '2:00 bells' tomorrow! (One hour before kick off, when the team news iz released!)

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here on Sunday and we can anly hope (and pray!🙏) that it's a 'good one'!?

Az per usual: "Watch this space!"

Thursday 13 January 2022


 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 13th January 2022


New Zealand international Chris Wood haz become NUFCs 2nd signin' of the transfor window and we welcome him with open arms!

He iz a much needed centre forward to stand in for the injured Callum Wilson and could be the signin' that saves wor season!?     (ie: We are not oot of 'the woods' yet! (sic!)

He iz 30 years old and for 4 seasons in a row he haz scored 10 goals or more, although he haz anly got 3 this season (so far!)

He woz born in Auckland (That's Auckland, New Zealand, NOT the one where the 'Bishop' comes from in Coonty Durham!) and he haz signed a 2 and a half year deal! (Like Kieran Trippier)

Chris will wear the number 20 shirt.

A £25 million fee haz been mentioned az that 'triggers' a release clause, with 'The Bornley Hillbillies', unable to stop the move! (Which will surely damage their chances of survival in the process!)


We hear that more signings are 'imminent' in wor quest to avoid the dreaded drop!

Oot of wor next 4 games, 3 are at SJP against Wotfaad on Saturday, then Leeedz away a week later, Evaatin at SJP the followin Tuesday and then another home game against 'The Hazbeeenz and Villains' the Sunday after that!

Aall these games are winnable and will make or break wor season!

Wednesday 12 January 2022


Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 12th January 2022

News that Bornley's Chris Wood iz on Tyneside az we speak for a medical, reaches The Geordie Times!

We wont speculate until the deal iz done and he iz pictured wavin a Toon scarf above hiz heed OR wearin a black n white top! (or both!)

Az per usual, "Watch this space for forthaa updates!"

Sunday 9 January 2022


 Posted from 'high noon 🔔 bells' onwards, Sunday 9th January 2022


The Cambridge crew who sank in the 1978 boat race!--44 years later it woz their turn to 'sink' NUFC!!! 

Yet another Cup disaster for The Toon!--It doesn't seem to matter just who iz playin for us--who manages us---or who owns us--the FA Cup and Leegue Cup defeats from lower leegue teams just gans on--and on-- and ON!

In the 1950s it woz Rotherham, Millwaall and Scunthorpe who beat us!

In the 1960s it woz Colchester, Peterboro, Orient, Bournemooth, Peterboro, Lincoln, non leegue Bedford and then Carlisle in front of 56,000 at SJP (Aa woz there!)

In the 1970s it woz (deep breath!) Bristol Rovers, Blackpool, Waallsaall, Chester, Wrexham and a non leegue team beginning with the letter 'H'! (Aa woz there az well!)

In the 1980s it woz Millwaall, Exeter, Bradford and Oxfaad twice!

In the 1990s it woz Bournemooth, Luton and Peterboro 

1n the 2000s it woz Peterboro again

In the 2010s it woz Stevenage and Oxfaad again!

In the 2020s it woz Brentfaad resorves and now Cambridge!

The list iz ENDLESS and aplogeeez to any 'minnows' I have forgot to mention!

Anyway!---To cut a lang story short---the curse continued yesterday in front of a virtual full hoose and wor team included new boy Kieran Trippier!---It made nee difference az we huffed and puffed away with wayward shots and missed chances az we attacked The Leazes End in the forst half!

Cambridge had a couple of chances az well and we went in 0-0 at the break!

The killer goal came in the 56th minute when Joe Ironside put home an easy chance to send the 4,830 'Boat People' in the upper reaches of The Leazes End wild with delight, az the rest of the crowd looked on in dispair! (Debravka in The Toon goal woz at fault for the goal, unfortunatly----We now have had 3 keepers who have made bad misstayks this season!!)

"No! Not THAT Ironside!"

More wayward shots from us at The Gallowgate End woz summed up deep into injury time when Almiron skyed an easy chance az aa held mee heed in mee hands! (The Cambridge goalie aalso had a blinder, to set the record straight!)

The whistle blew for full time seconds after Almiron's miss and we had lost to another minnow!--NUFC now have a free weekend in the last week of January! (4th roond weekend!)

We desperately need a striker to replace the injured Callum Wilson and at least 4 other new players--or else we have 'nee chance' against Wotfaad next week!---This iz the game we MUST win or else we fear the worst!----Thats ONE win in 21 games now!----Shockin' stats indeed! Joelinton shud have had a hat-trick!---If anly Shearer woz available!)

Attendance: 51,395

*Pre match flag wavers!ðŸĪŠ

*Post match!!!ðŸĨķ