AT ‘LANG’ LAST WE GET ELANGA!

 Posted ‘midneet 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 12th July 2025

It’s been a lang hot summer for NUFC fans, many frustrated that nee new signings have been on the horizon!

But at lang last we have one through the door in the shape of Anthony Elanga from The Friar Tuck Mob of Nottingham on a 5 year contract (But he arrived on Tuezday, so why haz it taken NUFC SO lang to announce it???🤔)

He’s a 23 year old winger and a Swedish International and the fee iz a reported £52K

He can run 100 metres in less than 11 seconds and we can foresee lang baalls hoofed upfield for him to chase and ootrun defenders!

More signins are in the pipeline az the pre season creeps ever closer!

PS: The Geordie Times will anly give yoo news of signings and NOT speculation to who we might/or might not sign? in the summer transfor window!✍️ 

Az per usual: “Watch this space intentleeee!”

In othaa news Callum Wilson haz played hiz last game for NUFC!

He scored 49 goals in 130 appearances and will be sadly missed!

He haz penned a great tribute aboot hiz time here and we wish him well in the future! 👏 ⬇️

TELLY TIMES ANNOONCED TOMORROW! (ALLEGEDLY!)

 Posted just before ‘midneet 🛎️ bells’ Tuezday 8th July 2025

Updated Wedinzday 3:15pm bells’

The live telly times for August and Septembaa are due to be annoonced tomorrow (but divvint haad yi breath!)

The Geordie Times predictions are az follows!  Let’s see how many we get reet!

We aalready naa that wor forst game at Villa haz been moved for live telly, so we cannit include that one!

1 ‘goal’ ‘for’ for a correct prediction  1 goal ‘against’ for wrang prediction

Update 3:15pm 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday

August changes annoonced! Nowt aboot Septembaa yet?

Livaapoool at SJP:

LIVE TELLY ✅1-0 up! (Now a Munday neet game)

Leeds away:

 LIVE TELLY ✅2-0 up! (Now a Saturday teatime game!)

Wolves at SJP: 

NEE TELLY (Nee news yet?)

Bournemoooth away: 

LIVE TELLY (Nee news yet?)

The Arse at SJP: 

LIVE TELLY ((Nee news yet?)

“AND SO IT BEGINS!”

 Posted ‘5:55pm 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 5th July 2025

SECTION 4, PARAGRAPH 6

Moan U started it—then Sporz, the Arse and Man Citih followed!—and now NUFC!

What am aa on aboot? Whey the rule that if a season ticket holder misses 5 games in a season and doesn’t sell hiz/horz season ticket on to another fan or the club, then they will lose their season ticket for the followin season!

In NUFCs case it’s in the smaall print half way doon the conditions of use terms!

At one time the clubs would bite your hand off if you asked for a season ticket!—-NOT any more it seems!—The don’t want season ticket holders anymore az they make at least twice az much ‘bit’ sellin the tickets on to Mag Members or tourists!

Never thought that wor club would gan doon that road!— But here we are!

And make nee misstayk, a brand new 70,000 seater stadium in Leazes Park meenz 20,000 more corporates and NOT 20,000 ordinary fans who are currently locked oot!

“AND SO IT BEGINS!😵‍💫

CELTIC GIVE NUFC 10,000 TICKETS!

 Posted 'high noon bells'Wedinzday 2nd July 2025

Updated’7:22pm bells’ 🔔 Thorzday

NUFC THE BORDER RAIDERS!

NUFC's friendly at Celtic Park in little ower 2 weeks time, will see 10,000 Toon fans in attendance instead of the 7,200 tickets, which were originally allocated to us! (Saturday 19th July)

And we can tell yoo that aall 10,000 tickets have been sold after the Mags Members sale closed on Thorzday!👏

This iz amazin’ coz Celtic cannit sell their tickets for the home sections, az their fans are boycottin' the game, coz they cannit get in for FREE! 

Cannit beleeeve that they won't torn up to see 'The Pope'!? (NUFC goalie 'Nick Pope', that iz!)

In previous seasons Celtic season ticket holders were given free access to one pre season friendly per season, but their club haz decided that they must PAY this time to watch the game against NUFC!

(And to 'Fink' that wor home friendly against Atletico Madrid  in August, iz a complete 52,300 selloot, with adult tickets priced at £25 each!) 

The game in Glasgow will see the largest contingent of Toon fans to travel to Scotland since we took 15,000 fans to Rangers in the Fairs Cup semi final 1st leg in 1969!  

I woz one of them 55 years ago at Ibrox Park, when a crowd of 75,000 saw us draw 0-0! (Woz it reeely that lang ago???---Quick!---pass mee zimmer frame!!!) 

62,986 THANKYOOOZ TO WOR LOYAL REEDERS FROM 164 COUNTRIES & TERRITORIES! (& MARS!)

 Posted '3:27pm bells' Tuezday 1st July 2025

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!---WHEY AYE MAAN!"

Joon 2025 produced a new record monthly pageview ‘attendance’ for 'The Geordie Times', az we broke through the 60,000 barrier for the forst time ever!---Givin us an average of 2,099.53333! pageviews per day!

And we thank each and every one of yoo, for loggin in to this daft 'advert free' Toon fans website! (Nee annoyin pop up adverts to distract yoo!) (ie: We divvint make any money oot of it, az we dee it for NOTHING!)

We have now had 1.35 MILLION 'log-ins' since we started in 2010 and 164 countries and territories have visited us---plus the planet Mars (of course!) (see top picture for proof!) 

THE TOP 20

TWO TROPHIES TINO! 🏆🏆🥇🥇

 Posted ‘high 🕛 noon 🛎️ bells’ Sunday 29th Joon 2025

“LIVing the dream!” 😴 

Congratulations ‘2’ Tino Livramento who haz won hiz 2nd major cup in the space of 3 months, when Ing-er-land U21s beat Jawmany U21s 3-2 after extra time in the final of the EUFA Under 21s Championship in Bratislava last neet, to add to the Leegue Cup trophy, in wor epic 2-1 win ower Livaapoool at Wembley in March! 👏👏

FORST NEWCASTLE GAME TOONEET!----HONEST!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 27th Joon 2025

The forst Newcastle game of the season kicks off tooneet!---But divvint panic!----The forst pre season friendly ANYWHERE in Ing-er-land that we are taakin aboot, iz between Newcastle Town and Port Vale at Newcastle UNDER LYME in Staffordshire!🠟🠟🠟

PS: Some useless information: PORT VALE WON 3-1

Beleeeve it or not 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have actually seen 'wor' very own Newcastle play here in 2003, when wor Under 19s played Stoke City U19s in a FA Premyaa Leegue youth fixture!

Aye! thats reet! We have been to the 'othaa' Newcastle to see us play!

A match report on that game played 22 years ago will be published very sooon!----Groond number 218 to watch an NUFC team play!

SEE NEXT ARTICLE BELOW!🠟🠟🠟

218 lyme valley stadium, inewcastle under lyme (v stoke u 19s)*

 

SPOT THE CYCLE TRACK!?🚴🏻

PS: Sorry aboot the pages in this report bein' a bit wonky, but the story woz written on an old word Prossesor and aa couldnt work oot how to download it ontee The Geordie Times website on mee computaa! So aa took photos off every page and downloaded that instead!

And NO, aa wozzint half p*ssed when aa took the photos!

EFL TROPHY DRAW INVOLVIN NUFC U21s TAKES PLACE THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' 🕭 Thorzday 27th Joon 2025

MOOR LANE***SALFORD CITY🙏🏻

HIGHBURY***FLEETWOOD TOWN🙏🏻

"I HAVE A DREAM!"😴

NUFC U21s will again compete in the EFL TROPHY for the 9th succesive season! (Now knaan az The Vertu Trophy)

The compitition iz between the forst teams of 48 clubs in Leegues 1 and 2 and 16 Premyaa Leegue U21 teams.

The teams are split into northern and southern sections

The Premyaa Leegue U21 northern section teams are: Evaatin, Leeedz, Livaapoool, the 2 Manc teams, Forest, Wolves and 'us' 

The northern section of the Leegue 1 and 2 clubs are az follows:

8 Groups

A: Salford, Stockport and Wigin

B: Barrow, Blackpoool and Tranny Rovers

C: Bradfaad, Donny and Grimzbee

D: Barnsleee, Lincin and Notts Coonty

E: Bolton, Oldim and Rotherhim

F: Harrowgit, 'uddersfeeed and Manzfeeeld

G: Accy Stan, Fleetwood and Port Vale

H: Bortin, Chestaafeeeld and Crewe Alex

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been to every groond listed, apart from Salford and Fleetwood----So we would like to be drawn in Group A or G pleeeze!🙏🏻

The draw iz live on Sky Sports News at '2:30 bells'!                    (We are baall number 6)

Az soon az we find oot which group 'The Toon' U21s are in, we will inform yoo az soon az we find oot! 

Az per usual:⬇️"Watch this space!"

Updated—-‘3:00pm bells 🔔’

SHATTERED DREAMS!😖---IT WASN’T TO BE!

NUFC U21s have been drawn to play Harrogate, ‘uddersfeeeld and Mansfeeeld in Group F

Been to them aall, so there are nee new groonds to visit for ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’!😭

*In othaa news, Spain U19s play Holland U19s in the European U19 Cup Final tooneet in Bucharest at ‘7:00 🛎️ bells’ and new NUFC signin Antonio Cordero, who haz played in the previous 4 games and scored 1 goal in the Tournament, iz expected to start!

Update: (He did start and hit the post in the 2nd half, but Holland scored just after this and they won 1-0)

Then tomorrow neet Ing-er-land U21s play Jawmany U21s in the European U21s Cup final in Bratislava and NUFCs Tino Livramento iz expected to start!  The game iz live on Channel 4 at 8:00 🕗 🛎️ bells’

Best of luck to both of them!

CUP SCHEMES DEADLINE LOOMS!

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’  Munday 23rd Joon 2025

CAN YOO SPOT THE TWO CATHEDRALS IN THIS PHOTO!?🤔

WARNING!

The deadline for Season Ticket holders to join the 3 cup schemes iz ‘5:00 pm bells 🔔’ this Friday!

Season ticket holders who DIVVINT join the schemes ARE NOT gaurenteed a ticket for those games and must join the Mags members for ‘a free for aall’ in a lottery to get one!

We understand the concerns of some fans with (say) 2 kids that must pay £120 to watch Champions Leegue futbaall!

Unfortunately, like everything else, prices are gannin through the roof and soon it will be an average of a fiver a pint in The Toon boozers az well!

The Geordie Times haz egg 🍳 on wor faces az we predicted that we would probably get a crowd of under 30,000 for wor pre season friendly v Atletico Madrid, az it woz £25 for an adult ticket—-BUT how wrang we were, az the game iz a complete 52,300 selloot! (For a friendly!)

Talk of the new stadium seems to have vanished from the headlines, but az we aall naa 52,300 iz not big enough now, with the demand for tickets far exceedin wor current capacity!

Hopefully news on that will appear soon—BUT divvint haad yi breath, 😵az we were told that news of a new stadium would be announced 5 months ago, but of course it wozzint!

We will of course bring yoo news of that when we (eventually?) find oot!??? 

Az per usual—“Watch this space!”