THE ROTHERHAM NEW YORKERS 1 THE TOON 1 *** PRE SEASON FRIENDLY 2021-2022

 Posted (from) 11:17am 🔔bells' (onwards) Wedinzday 28th July 2021

"THIS IZ DEFINATLY NOT THE 'BIG APPLE!"

The difference between New York in America and New York in Rotherham couldn't be greater!

Whereas the USA version haz sky scrapers and neon lights, the Rotherham version haz boarded up shops and pubs and 🐀rats in the street, az we foond oot lookin for an open drinkin den!

A pub!---but it woz closed!!!🥶

"New York---but where are the skyscrapers?"

We eventually foond one caalled The Bluecoat where John Smiths woz £1:85 a pint!

"IZ THAT A SKYSCRAPER IN THE DISTANCE?"

After a few liquid lubrications there, we heeded for the New York Stadium, but not before encountering a smaall rat in a narrow alleyway, which ran between mee legs and into some derelict building near to the pub!

In complete contrast to the streets nearby, the modern silver and red stadium stood oot like a beacon against the dark clouds above, which threatened heavy rain and had deluged the area for a few hours before kick off!

Inside, an advertising board in front of the away section said 'VISIT ROTHERHAM', which begs the question: Who the hell in their right mind would want to visit this place!?(Roland Rat) perhaps?)

"I'D RATHER VISIT GAZA CITY!"

Anyway! The game kicked off with huge gaps in the red seats, with empty seats in the home sections and quite a few in the Toon end az well!

Rotherham started the better side and they took the lead in the 8th minute, through an unmarked heeded goal by Smith  who beat  4th choice keeper Woodman in The Toon goal!

The rest of the half woz dreadful from a Toon point of view and wor anly shot woz from Callum Wilson at the far end from us!---booos from the away section greeted the half time whistle!--dreadful fare from NUFC!

A flying yellow 'Mr Man'--the best action of the 1st half!     PS: Travelling companion 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' 'googled it' and told me that the yellow object woz in fact 'Sponge Bob Square Pants'! (How could I not know that?)

The 2nd half wasn't much better and the fans directed chants at wor absent owner to sell the club-----to The Premyaa Leegue, caallin them corrupt and to Brucey, who they said woz a sh*t Steve McClaren and a sad mackem b*stard!!!

"Sing in the 'ERIC TRIGG FOODS PUKKA PIES STAND!" 

We finally made the breakthrough in the 84th minute when Hendrick, playin up front, heeded home in front of the Toon fans from a corner by Murphy!

1-1 woz the final score against this Leegue one side, who shud have won!

Very unsatisfactory!

ATTENDANCE: 4,370 (Just 1,488 Toon fans, which iz nearly 2,000 less than were at Donny last Friday)

More pix 

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

NEW YORK HERE WE COME!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 26th July 2021

"NO!--- Not THAT New York!"

Today 'The Toon' are off for a friendly in New York! 

Unfortunately, NOT the one on the east coast of the USA -----the one in the New York district of sooth Yorkshire, for a '7:00pm🔔s' kick off v Rotherham United at The New York Stadium!

And for the 4th time in 9 days 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be catchin a train at 'The Central' to gan to a Toon match, followin wor 'sorties' to York, Donny and Darlo --this time to Durham, where 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' iz pickin' us up in hiz 'jam jar (He lives near Durham) and drivin from there! (It's dodgy to get back by train)

Thunderstorms and heavy rain are forecast, so it will be wise to take a waaterproof  coat!

A Geordie Times match report and pix will appear here sometime on Wedinzday!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

348 blackwelll meadows, darlington

Ground number 348

Date of First Visit: 24th July 2021

Blackwell Meadows, Darlington

Darlington 1

Newcastle United U23s 3 (Tom Allen, Dylan Stephenson (2)

Friendly fixture

Attendance: 700 (includin' a few Toon fans)

1st HALF AZ 'THE TOON' ATTACK 'THE BIG FOREST END'

"IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHIN' BRAZIL!"

For the thord time in six days we were on the East Coast line, this time the short trip to Darlo, where wor second string were in action! Indeed, we were back in The Central(train station) just 10 hours after gettin back from Donny, to watch the forst team!

After a 30 minute train ride we were there and heeded straight for the toon centre bars! The Hole in the Waall woz wor forst port o caall, where we bumped into some of the lads!

It woz then onwards to the Quakerhouse where a pint of Quaker woz on the medicine menu! (Wot else in Darlo, who's nickname IZ 'The Quakers'!)

After a few 'gargels' there it woz time to gan to the match, which woz a canny way from the centre of Darlo!---A taxi woz flagged doon and 'off we went' to the ootskirts!

For the forst time ever I used a scan code on mee phone to gain entry, az there were nee tickets!

The clubhoose woz of course wor forst stop off point in the groond, where more of the local brew woz consumed! (hic!)

The teams ran oot and The Toon were in their new black n white striped strip, while Darlo sported a replica of a Brazil strip, rather than their black n white hooped shirts!

Indeed their number 10 woz the spittin image of the great Pele, who of course wore the famous number when Brazil won the World Cup 3 times!

"IZ THAT PELE BY ANY CHANCE?"

The Toon took the lead at the 'Big Forest End' when wor number 7 Tom Allen ran into the box and hit an accurate shot into the corner of the net, with their goalie well beaten!

Darlo had chances to equalise, but couldnt make the breakthrough and we went in at the break 1-0 up

To totally confuse things we ran oot in the 2nd half with a raft of changes--indeed aa later foond oot that a completly different X1 played in the 2nd half!

Anyway!--The home side hit back in the 51st minute with a set piece and it looked like a Toon player had touched the baall before it entered the net?

25 minutes later we retook the lead when half time sub number 21 Dylan Stephenson fired home when put through by Longelo ar the Darlo Ultras End!

             ⬅️The Darlo Ultras End

The win woz completed in injury time when a misstayk in the Darlo defence let in Dylan again and he had the easy task of puttin the baall into the net!

We celebrated wor great win against 'Brazil' with a few more liquid lubrications back in Darlo, before catchin the train back yem!

More pix from Darlo

The futbaall club groondshare!

The clubhoose balcony

The Darlo trainer, not somebody yoo would pick an argument with!

A knitted bollard in the centre of Darlo-- one of hundreds dotted aroond the place???

Fact file:

This woz the 3rd different groond in Darlo where 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have visited to watch The Toon, alang with Feethams and The Reynolds Arena! 

DONNY 2 THE TOON 3 *** FRIENDLY

 Posted '10:30am 🔔bells' Saturday 24th July 2021

BRIEF MATCH REPORT (More to follow when aa get time)

3 goals from Ryan Fraser, Sean Longstaff and Callum Wilson in front of 3,300 travelling fans sealed a 3-2 victory at the Keepmoat Stadium last neet!

It woz great to see away fans back in great numbers after an absence of 16 months! (Although a few got into York's new groond last Sunday!)

Today we are off on the train again, for the thord time in 6 days--this time to Darlo to watch wor U23s in action at Blackwell Meadows-- a new groond for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' and wor 2nd new groond in 6 days, followin wor visit to York! (We've been to Donny before, so that wasn't a new groond!)

A match and Darlo pub crawl report from today's game will appear here ----eventually!

The drinking den we went to before and after the game

Attendance: 6,787 (half from The Toon!)

DESTINATION DONNY AND DARLO!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 22nd July 2021 

We have a double heeder comin up in the next couple of days. Firstly it's a trip to Donny(Doncaster) to see wor forst team squad in action on Friday neet!

And then on Saturday afternooon we are of to Darlo(Darlington) to see wor 2nd string at Darlo's new abode at Blackwell Meadows!

While this will be wor 4th visit to Donny's Keepmoat stadium, it will be wor forst ever visit to Darlo's Blackwell Meadows for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!'🤪👍

A full match report on both games will appear here eventually!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

347 LNER STADIUM, YORK

Ground number 347 (at last!)

Date of First Visit: 18th July 2021

LNER Community Stadium, York

York City 1

Newcastle United 0

Friendly fixture

Attendance: 2,000, which included quite a few Toon fans who wornt supposed to be there! (plus 44,000 watchin on YouTube)

"HOWGAY THE LADS!"

I'VE HIDDEN SOME OF THE E-TICKET DETAILS SO IT CAN'T BE TRACED BACK TO THE PURCHASER!

Where dee aa start with this one?

Mee forst 'new groond' match report for 18 months, and one played in the highest temperatures aa can ever remember for a Toon game!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' had been tryin for weeks to get wor hands on match tickets for this game, az York had said that anly bona-fide season ticket holders could get their hands on a prized ticket to watch their team for the forst time in their brand new groond on the ootskirts of York!

A friend of a friend managed to get me 2 tickets at the last minute and az we set off to York on the train I noticed that mee ticket had 'Lesley' az the forename---the wife of the lad who got me the tickets! Mee mate Tex Taylor's ticket woz luckier and had 'Raymond' az hiz forename

Wot would I say if they checked the ticket name az I am obviously not a member of the fair sex!   Say I've had a sex change and changed mee name???   OR buy a wig and some mascara and lipstick in York and say that I woz a transvestite????

And az aa divvint naa mee dress size, coz a'v never worn one (believe it or not?) that woz oot of the question, az well!!!

I settled for sayin that 'Lesley' woz mee sister and hoped that that would work!  I would soon find oot when aa went through the ticket gate 4 hours later!

Anyway!---we arrived in York at '11:00 bells' and the forst boozer we tried to get into woz full, so we had to waak a canny way from the city centre to find one that we could get in----We foond one caalled 'The Winning Post' (near York racecourse) but had to wait til 'high noon bells' for it to open!----After a few pints we asked the barmaid for a taxi number to get to the groond which woz more than 3 miles from where we were!----We eventually got one and heeded to the groond!

It woz the hottest day aa can ever remember for a futbaall match and to complicate things further aa had to put on a light jacket to hide mee Toon tattoos----even takin the 6 Toon badges off in case they said 'home fans only' and bar me from entry!

A nervously approached the entrance gate with mee ticket, hopin that the gadgy on the door didnt notice 'Lesley' on the ticket!----He DIDN'T (thank god!) and scanned it and aa woz IN!

Aa took mee seat with loads of empty ones on both sides and behind and noticed that aa woz the anly one wearin a jacket az everybody else seemed to be in shorts and T shirts!---I stuck oot like a sore thumb and woz sweating like a pig, so not lang after the kick off aa took it off and put it in a carrier bag, hopin that nee one would notice mee tattoos!  Indeed there were other Toon fans present and some even had a banner behind the far goal from me which said 'BELFORD MAGS'

Anyway! the temperature reached 30 degrees after a while az the player struggled in the heat!---To take photos a'd even taken the Toon cover off mee phone in case anybody noticed!!!---

There woz nee way aa woz takin any chances!---But there WERE a few 'chances' on the pitch from both sides and Ryan Fraser had a great lob orly on which just missed the goal with the York goalie stranded!---This brought nice applause from the York faithful! (thanks lads n lasses!)

Because of the heat the game wasnt very good and in the 2nd half both Dwight Gayle and Saint Maximin had good chances to score, but their goalie woz in top form!

It shud be noted that wor FOURTH choice keeper Dan Langley woz in goal az Debravka woz injured and Karl Darlow, Mark Gillespie and Freddie Woodman had to self isolate!

This proved decisive in the 87th minute, when he woz unable to stop a heeder from York's Duckworth and the game woz lost!

Near the end the stadium annooncer said that, "trialist B was being replaced by 'a trialist", for York!

This woz a strong line up from NUFC (apart from wor goalie!) and so to lose to a 6th tier non leegue club with trialists in their side, sends a worrying message to fans!

We heeded back into York via bus (showin mee tattoos and 'jacketless', az it didnt matter then!) for the last 'liquid lubrications' in 'The Corner Pin', before catchin the train yem! 

Footnote:

York fans sang "Premier League--you're havin a laugh!" when Saint Maximin missed a good chance, but it iz indeed The Premyaa Leegue themselves "havin a laugh" at the expense of us, followin the disgraceful decision to postpone the arbitration case to orly 2022, leavin NUFC in limbo yet again!

PS: Wor U23s, who played at Harrogate at the same time az the above game, aalso lost (2-1) with Kyle Crossley scorin' for The Toon in the 51st minute!

MORE ARBITRATION AGONY!

 Posted '1:50am 🔔bells' Tuesday 20th July 2021