THE ELTON JOHN MOB OF WOTFAAD 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 26th September 2021

"BADGERED INTO SUBMISSION!"

The day started off at '5:30am bells' when a dragged mee lifeless body oot of mee 'pit-scratcher' (bed!) to catched the train to King's Cross (London) and then onwards to Wotfaad via Euston station alang the road!

At Durham Station a chingkee lad got on and sat on wor table (Chingkee iz Geordie slang for a Chinese person)

The ticket inspector came roond and he didn't have a ticket!  He woz told he would have to pay £130.50 for a ticket to Peterborough(where he said he woz gannin)

He eventually paid and woz told if he woz seen on the train after Peterborough that he would be fined £430 for fare evasion!

He DID get off at Peterborough, but just sat on a platform seat, obviously waitin for the next train to London! (Yoo couldn't make it up!)

On arrival at King's Cross we had time for a swift 'gargel' in The Rocket on Euston Road before continuin' wor jorney to 'Elton John country' (he's a Wotfaad fan, in case yiz didnt naa!?)

On arrival at Wotfaad Central, we made wor way to wor forst port o call there, namely The Wellington Arms'!

---The next boozer woz just across the road caalled 'The Estcourt Arms', which woz boarded up the last time we were here, but thankfully now reopened for 'liquid lubrication purposes!

View from The Wellington Arms! (It's a lang walk from 'The Welly'!)

From there we made for a boozer closer to the groond caalled 'The Golden Lion', where aa ordered a pint of Doom Bar bitter!

The barmaid sorved me and then said: "I notice that you are a Newcastle fan and this is a 'home fans only bar'!" (she noticed a smaall Toon badge on mee Tee shirt lapel) "I'll serve you this time, but you will have to leave after that!", she added! (Yoo could say that she woz 'badgering me (sic!)

I heeded for the beer garden at the back and told the lads wot had happened, to great merriment from them and somebody knocked their pint over az they took the p*ss out of me! 

SORVES THEM RIGHT FOR TAKIN' THE P*SS!

None of the other were wearin Toon colours and then aa noticed a fan in a Toon top at another table!----How did HE get sorved, aa thought???

Anyway!---az this woz wor last 'port o call' before the match, aa had to get 'Sarnie Steve' to get me the next 'liquid refreshment' and then 'Big Al' (not the sheet metal workers son!) the one after that!

This saved me queuin' at the bar and az aa had nee change, they had to buy mee pints az well! (MUST dee this more often!)

It woz soon time to gan for wor 'punishment' (the match!) and we jumped the queue to get in az it woz massive at The Toon tornstiles!

We were in the back row behind the goal and wor fans were in good voice before the start---slaggin off Brucey and Elton John! (we wont repeat wot they were singin aboot Elton, but the now usual, "We want Brucey out!", chants were loud and prolonged!

The Toon were clad in wor light blue away strip, similar to Man City's, but a million miles from their quality!

I'm afraid once again, the game woz poor and borin', with 2 teams who will be in the relegation dog fight for sure!

The highlight of the half woz in the 23rd minute when a 30 yard screamer from Saun Longstaff, rocketed into the corner of the net at the far end from us, to send the 2,200 Toon fans wild with delight!

We had chances to increase wor lead before the break, but failed miserably to put the game to bed   HT 1-0 to 'us'!

Good chances for Almiron, Joelinton, and Willock, went 'a beggin' in the 2nd period and we paid the price for that,  when Wotfaad equalised through an unmarked Sarr heeder from a corner kick, in the 72nd minute, to bring the home fans 'to life'!

Near the end Wotfaad scored again, but VAR ruled that it woz 'offside' and we escaped with a point, when we should have had aall 3, az Murphy woz clean through in the 90th minutes, but tried to lob their goalie, but failed miserably!-----It's now 11 top flight games at Vicarage Road for NUFC and not one solitary victory!

At the end of the day we were 'badgered' into submission!--- in more ways than one!

Attendance: 20,650 (2,200 Toon fans in the 'sold oot' away end)

The post match 'gargels' took place in The Estcourt Arms (again!) and 'The Northumberland Arms' near King's Cross station, before we caught the train back to Tyneside!

Some of the 2,200 Toon fans!

TO THE LEFT!

AND THE RIGHT!

WOTFAAAD v THE TOON *** PREMYAA LEEGUE THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 25th September 2021

At the time of writin' this, we have arrived in 'The Smoke' (London) via King's Cross train station and are on wor way to Wotfaad to the north of London!

NUFC have played 10 top flight games here and shockingly havvint won ANY!---drawin 5 and losin 5!--A shockin stat against a so caalled smaall club! ('Wot' does that tell yoo aboot how 'big' we are!?)

An injury crisis haz engulfed 'The Toon' with several key players unavailabe, includin Callum Wilson, Joe Willock, Jamaal Lascelles, Jonjo Shelvey and Paul Dummett ---aall 'crocked'!

Aall 3,000 away tickets have been sold in 'wot' will be a capacity Wotfaad crowd of aroond 20,000!

Az per usual a full 'Geordie Times' match and boozer report will appear here sometime on Sunday----Lets hope that we can get wor forst win of the season and forst EVER win in the top flight at Wotfaad!----But divvint haad yer breath!

Footnote: Yesterday wor 2nd string were in action at Motspur Park in London v Fulim U23s and they lost 3-1  Wor 5th loss in a row!

U-S-A-!, AALL THE WAY! **** 100,000 THANKYOOOZ!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 24th September 2021

"THE GEORDIE TIMES RULES OK!" *** "HOWAY THE LADS!"

*The Geordie Times haz just received wor 100,000th hit from the USA!  We thank each and every one of yoo for loggin into this site from across the pond!

This iz the 2nd highest behind the UK (az yoo'd expect!)

Who says wor American cousins divvint like futbaall of the roond baall variety!?

The celebrations have aalready begun on top of The Empire State Building in New York! (see photo!)

Once again many thanx for loggin into this mad-sad Toon website! 

THE TOP 20 AALTIME LIST

And divvint forget!- The Geordie Times iz advort free!---meeenin that we make nee financial  gain and that we get paid F**K AALL for dein this website!  We dee it for the love of NUFC for FREE!

DISPAIR AND JOY FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 23rd September 2021

HELLEVISION NEWS!

The telly fixtures for November are oot and to the dispair of NUFC fans, 2 lang distance away games have been moved to crazy kick off times!

Forst of aall, wor visit to 'Nee Where Near Brightin' in orly November iz to be a Saturday '5:30 bells' kick off in BT, makin it impossible to get back to Tyneside by train-- and so an owerneet stay in London haz been forced upon us! (A 700 mile roond trip!)🥶👎

And then at the end of November it's a '12:30 bells' kick off at 'The Arse' in North London (thanx to BT again!)--meenin' that we must get oot of bed at an ungodly hour to catch the forst train to King's Cross! (London) (A roond trip of 600 miles!)😱👎

However!-- There IZ some joyous news for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', az wor home game v Brentfaad on Saturday 20th November HAZZINT been picked for live telly on the Munday, az we feared and so it DOESN'T clash with wor maiden visit to Alfreton on Munday 22nd November, where NUFC U23s play Forest U23s in a Premyaa Leegue 2 fixture!

Indeed! 'Yours truely' haz aalready booked a days holiday from work for the occasion!

Another NEW groond for The NUFC 'saddos'!🤪👍

THE TOON U23S 2 THE P*SS POTTS U23S 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 21st September 2021

SECOND STRING SYNDROME!

Havin not been to Benton for 2 years to see wor U23s due to covid restrictions etc, it woz pleasin to see that the 3 boozers on route to the groond were still up and runnin!

After a quick gargel in The Junction bar next to the Haymarket bus station, it woz time to heed for Benton via Four Lane Ends on the Metro.

Forst 'port o call' woz The Benton Ale Hoose and then onwards to The Black Bull alang the road for some more liquid refresments, before finishing off in The Ship a few hundred yards from the entrance to Blue Flames, where the game woz due to kick off at '7:00 bells'!

On arrival the clubhoose woz cordoned off with a chain link rope fence and woz closed--The seats for the ordinary fans were aalso out of bounds!

Since aa woz last here a smaall roofed stand had been erected behind the far goal, but apart from that the groond looked the same az it woz 2 years ago!

A DUMP!

ANYWAY! The game kicked off and both sides struggled to create any chances!

The breakthrough happened just before the half-time interval when a Stoke player handled the baall in the box and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot!

Elliot Anderson took it and he made nee misstayk with the kick! 

HT 1-0 to The Toon!

It didn't take lang for The P*ss Potts (Potters) to level things in the 2nd period when Wright-Phillips scored. It woz soon 2-1 against the run of play to wor visitors, when a Sparrow shot 'flew (sic!) into the net!

Their lead woz increased to 3-1 when Campbell latched onto a wayward pass to shoot past Dan Langley in the Toon goal!

Adam Wilson pulled one back in the 80th minute, but we couldn't find the equaliser and so wor U23s remain winless for the 4th game in a row!

Very similar to wor forst team in fact, who are winless in 5 Premyaa Leegue games!

Attendance:150 (estimated) Nee sign of any Stoke 'mad-sad groundhoppers'!

Ootside The Black Bull

We have to tell yoo that wor U23s game woz NOT televised live!

THE TOON U23s v THE P*SS POTTS U23s **** TOONEEET AT BLUE FLAMES!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday  20th September 2021

BLUE FLAMES, AKA WHITLEY PARK, BENTON

Wor U23s are in action at Benton tooneet where we play the P*ss Potts of Stoke (The Potters!) in a Premyaa Leegue 2 encoontaaa!

Kick off iz at '7:00 bells' and admission iz free to season ticket holders!---For non season ticket holders its £3 for big kids and just £1 for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

We have nee idea if the clubhoose iz open az it woz shut the last home game coz of covid restrictions?----Yoo couldnt even sit in the little stand on the halfway line az that woz oot of bounds too!

But fear not!---there are 3 boozers on the way from Four Lane Ends Metro station for the pre match gargels!--Namely The Benton Ale Hoose, The Black Bull and The Ship!

A Geordie Times match report and pix will appear here sometime tomorrow!---AZ per usual "Watch this space!"

NUFC v SAFC***AVERAGE GATES***1893 to 2021 ***128 YEAR RECORD (NOW UPDATED FROM LAST SEASON)

Updated 'high noon bells' Munday 20th September 2021

THE ADMIRAL OF THE FLEET, LORD BERESFORD
KICKS OFF THE 1904 DERBY MATCH @ ST JAMES' PARK
(LEAZES TERRACE (left) AND ST JAMES' STREET (right) 
ARE IN THE BACKGROOND)

NUFC v SAFC (average league attendances)

'The Geordie Times' haz  published below the average leegue attendances of both clubs from 1893 to 2021, startin' from 1893-1894 season and endin' on the current season, to date.
Obviously, because of 'The Bat Out Of Hell' coronavirus, the season finished for safc in March 2020!
In NUFC's case, aall Premyaa Leegue home games are/were behind closed doors after this---and in safc's case the Leegue One season woz abandoned! So average attendances are anly given up til March 2020! 

Season 2020-2021 woz played behind closed doors apart from one game for each club where 10,000 were admitted, so no average attendances for last season!

The SMBs claim that they are az loyal az The Toon fans and that they can match us in crowd figures throughoot the last 128 years of leegue futbaall between us!

Lets see if they are reet?---The SMBs joined The Futbaall Leegue in 1890 and NUFC joined in 1893 and so the average attendance figures are from the 1893-1894 season az we have ne NUFC data before that time.
Attendance figures are independant and are taken from three sources---'The Association of Football Statisticians', 'European Football Statisticians' and the excellent book, 'Through the Turnstiles', which gives every average gate for every club who have ever played in The Futbaall Leegue! (figures may differ slightly, dependin' on where yi look!)

Key: White=nufc best supported in that season
         Pink=safc best supported in that season


The Nineteenth Century---
Seasons 1893-1894 to 1899-1900
1893-1894---nufc 3,525---safc 6,890---0-1 to safc
1894-1895---nufc 4,155---safc 8,250---0-2 to safc
1895-1896---nufc 7,255---safc 6,210---1-2 to safc
1896-1897---nufc 8,130---safc 5,160---2-2
1897-1898--nufc 11,545--safc 10,970--3-2 to nufc
1898-1899--nufc17,390--safc12,540---4-2 to nufc
1899-1900--nufc16,445--safc11,265---5-2 to nufc

The start of the Twentieth Century
to the 1st World War---
Seasons 1900-1901 to 1914-1915
1900-1901--nufc 15,575--safc11,695---6-2 to nufc
1901-1902--nufc 14,450--safc12,905---7-2 to nufc
1902-1903--nufc 17,540--safc15,305---8-2 to nufc
1903-1904--nufc 17,565--safc13,670---9-2 to nufc
1904-1905--nufc 21,605--safc14,510--10-2 to nufc
1905-1906--nufc 22,765--safc13,015--11-2 to nufc
1906-1907-nufc*33,235--safc15,450--12-2 to nufc
1907-1908--nufc 27,875--safc17,470--13-2 to nufc
1908-1909--nufc 29,300--safc15,235--14-2 to nufc
1909-1910--nufc24,825--safc11,615--15-2 to nufc 
1910-1911--nufc25,055--safc16,650--16-2 to nufc
1911-1912--nufc24,995--safc12,555--17-2 to nufc
1912-1913--nufc24,935--safc17,940--18-2 to nufc
1913-1914--nufc24,710--safc20,865--19-2 to nufc
1914-1915--nufc14,545--safc10,230--20-2 to nufc

*WORLD RECORD!---nufc were the forst club in the world to have average gates of ower 30,000!

In the 1914-1915 season both clubs average gates dropped by 10,000 az many fans had went off to fight in the 1st World War!
The leegue waz then suspended from 1915-1916 to 1918-1919 because of the war. 

Inter War Years
Seasons 1919-1920 to 1938-1939
1919-1920--nufc38,390--safc25,580--21-2 to nufc
1920-1921--nufc41,265--safc28,765--22-2 to nufc
1921-1922--nufc34,860--safc24,150--23-2 to nufc
1922-1923--nufc27,085--safc23,070--24-2 to nufc
1923-1924--nufc26,865--safc23,475--25-2 to nufc
1924-1925--nufc24,325--safc20,440--26-2 to nufc
1925-1926--nufc29,957--safc21,399--27-2 to nufc
1926-1927--nufc36,510--safc18,142--28-2 to nufc
1927-1928--nufc30,195--safc21,411--29-2 to nufc
1928-1929--nufc31,667--safc25,196--30-2 to nufc
1929-1930--nufc32,559--safc24,553--31-2 to nufc
1930-1931--nufc26,151--safc22,015--32-2 to nufc
1931-1932--nufc30,336--safc23,131--33-2 to nufc
1932-1933--nufc25,992--safc17,254--34-2 to nufc
1933-1934--nufc24,142--safc18,269--35-2 to nufc
1934-1935--nufc20,081--safc25,397--35-3 to nufc
1935-1936--nufc19,483--safc30,378--35-4 to nufc
1936-1937--nufc24,430--safc28,670--35-5 to nufc
1937-1938--nufc21,276--safc25,132--35-6 to nufc
1938-1939--nufc32,693--safc21,740--36-6 to nufc

From 1939-1940 to 1945-1946 the leegue waz suspended due to The 2nd World War

Mid Twentieth Century
Seasons 1946-1947 to 1969-1970
1946-1947--nufc49,379--safc35,301--37-6 to nufc
1947-1948-nufc*56,283--safc42,888--38-6 to nufc
1948-1949--nufc53,839--safc45,220--39-6 to nufc
1949-1950-nufc46,468--safc*47,785--39-7 to nufc
1950-1951--nufc46,651--safc39,766--40-7 to nufc
1951-1952--nufc50,476--safc39,853--41-7 to nufc
1952-1953--nufc44,521--safc39,767--42-7 to nufc
1953-1954--nufc45,392--safc42,505--43-7 to nufc
1954-1955--nufc42,925--safc43,043--43-8 to nufc
1955-1956--nufc37,666--safc35,888--44-8 to nufc
1956-1957--nufc35,202--safc36,145--44-9 to nufc
1957-1958--nufc36,241--safc36,146--45-9 to nufc
1958-1959--nufc39,458--safc27,772--46-9 to nufc
1959-1960--nufc36,037--safc22,831--47-9 to nufc
1960-1961--nufc26,500--safc26,051--48-9 to nufc
1961-1962-nufc27,946--safc32,986--48-10 to nufc
1962-1963-nufc31,634--safc40,883--48-11 to nufc
1963-1964-nufc29,435--safc41,258--48-12 to nufc
1964-1965-nufc35,659--safc40,637--48-13 to nufc
1965-1966-nufc33,793--safc34,488--48-14 to nufc
1966-1967-nufc32,081--safc31,731--49-14 to nufc
1967-1968-nufc37,239--safc30,873--50-14 to nufc
1968-1969-nufc34,016--safc25,426--51-14 to nufc
1969-1970-nufc37,553--safc21,790--52-14 to nufc

*WORLD RECORD!---nufc were the forst club in the world to have average gates of ower 50,000 (both 'The Arse' and 'Man U' both averaged ower 50,000 az well in that season, but we reached that average, forst!) 
Unbeleeeviblee!, nufc were in the old 2nd Division at the time, and this iz STILL! a WORLD RECORD for any club ootside the 'top flight', to this day!

*safc record average gate 

Mid to Late Twentieth Century
Seasons1970-1971 to 1999-2000
1970-1971-nufc29,735--safc15,780--53-14 to nufc
1971-1972-nufc32,664--safc15,906--54-14 to nufc
1972-1973-nufc27,939--safc22,603--55-14 to nufc
1973-1974-nufc32,861--safc24,409--56-14 to nufc
1974-1975-nufc34,614--safc29,931--57-14 to nufc
1975-1976-nufc33,060--safc31,250--58-14 to nufc
1976-1977-nufc33,599--safc32,743--59-14 to nufc
1977-1978-nufc24,729--safc22,276--60-14 to nufc
1978-1979-nufc20,494--safc25,454--60-15 to nufc
1979-1980-nufc23,345--safc27,119--60-16 to nufc
1980-1981-nufc16,001--safc26,477--60-17 to nufc
1981-1982-nufc17,276--safc19,608--60-18 to nufc
1982-1983-nufc24,116--safc17,370--61-18 to nufc
1983-1984-nufc29,811--safc16,180--62-18 to nufc
1984-1985-nufc26,228--safc18,347--63-18 to nufc
1985-1986-nufc23,434--safc16,052--64-18 to nufc
1986-1987-nufc24,792--safc13,601--65-18 to nufc
1987-1988-nufc21,059--safc17,425--66-18 to nufc
1988-1989-nufc22,921--safc14,878--67-18 to nufc
1989-1990-nufc21,590--safc17,987--68-18 to nufc
1990-1991-nufc16,834--safc22,577--68-19 to nufc
1991-1992-nufc21,148--safc18,390--69-19 to nufc
1992-1993-nufc29,048--safc17,260--70-19 to nufc
1993-1994-nufc33,679--safc16,934--71-19 to nufc
1994-1995-nufc34,690--safc15,344--72-19 to nufc
1995-1996-nufc36,507--safc17,482--73-19 to nufc
1996-1997-nufc36,466--safc20,865--74-19 to nufc
1997-1998-nufc36,680--safc33,492--75-19 to nufc
1998-1999-nufc36,690--safc38,745--75-20 to nufc
1999-2000-nufc36,333--safc41,375--75-21 to nufc

The start of the Twenty forst Century
Seasons 2000-2001 to 2020-2021
2000-2001-nufc51,309--safc46,791--76-21 to nufc
2001-2002-nufc51,373--safc46,744--77-21 to nufc
2002-2003-nufc51,923--safc39,698--78-21 to nufc
2003-2004-nufc51,966--safc27,120--79-21 to nufc
2004-2005-nufc51,844--safc28,820--80-21 to nufc
2005-2006-nufc52,032--safc33,904--81-21 to nufc
2006-2007-nufc50,686--safc31,887--82-21 to nufc
2007-2008-nufc51,330--safc43,344--83-21 to nufc
2008-2009nufc*48,750--safc40,168--84-21to nufc
2009-2010-nufc43,388--safc40,355--85-21 to nufc
2010-2011-nufc47,718--safc40,011--86-21 to nufc
2011-2012-nufc49,936--safc39,095--87-21 to nufc
2012-2013-nufc50,517--safc40,544--88-21 to nufc
2013-2014-nufc50,395--safc41,090--89-21 to nufc
2014-2015-nufc 50,359--safc43,157--90-21 to nufc
2015-2016-nufc*49,790--safc43,071--91-21 to nufc
2016-2017-nufc 51,106--safc 41,287--92-21 to nufc
2017-2018-nufc 51,992--safc 27,635--93-21 to nufc
2018-2019-nufc 51,121--safc32,157--94-21 to nufc
2019-2020-nufc 48,248--safc30,118--95-21 to nufc

2020-2021 Aall games played behind closed doors because of covid, apart from 1 game each, where 10,000 were allowed to attend!-So 2020-2021 season iz not counted

*WORLD RECORD/and *NEW WORLD RECORD average gates for a relegated club!---
These relegation totals are aalso higher than the SAFC RECORD average gate of 47,785 in the 1949-1950 season!
In total NUFC have beaten the SAFC record average gate 24 times!

"Put THAT! in your pipe and smoke it!"

"CONCLUSION!?---WE LEAVE TO DRAW YOUR OWN! CONCLUSIONS!!!???

www.geordietimes.com

HOW RIDICULOUS IZ THAT!?

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 19th September 2021

"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"

One of the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' went extreme groundhoppin' yesterday when he heeded for Lestaa'z new Seagrave trainin' groond, which iz in 'the middle of nee where', to watch wor U18s play Lestaa'z U18s! (ie: a game on a field with nee stands)

'Glennn from Ashington', who cannit drive, got there by train and bus, anly to find that when he got to the trainin' complex that the game had been delayed, coz an ambulance and paramedics hadn't arrived---which iz compululsary for U18 games!

"WHERE'S THE AMBULANCE---LIKE!?"

None did arrive and so the game had to be postponed on 'Pitch 2'---a wasted jorney for Glennn?---well not quite!

Wor U16s were playin' on an ajoinin' pitch, some distance from the U18s game and so he rushed to 'Pitch 10' to watch that game instead---missin' 27 minutes coz of the late cancellation of the U18s game! (the kick off time woz at '1:00pm bells' for both games)

NUFC U16s drew 2-2 with Lestaa'z youngins, so at least he saw some futbaall on a new groond! (and he saw aall the goals!--unlike me at Dunston! (see below)

Apparently, yoo divvint need an ambulance or paramedics for an U16s game, which begs the question---"WHY NOT?" if its compulsary for U18 games?????

"HOW RIDICULOUS IZ THAT"!?????? 

PS: Glennn woz unable to send 'The Geordie Times' any pix of the game, az yoo arnt allowed to take photos of U16s games!

MEEENWHILE!

Bad Blue Boys 6  Frickley Athletic 0

'Yours truly' went to a game closer to home on Tyneside, namely Dunston v Frickley in a Northern Premyaa Leegue East Division game, where the home side ran riot with 6 goals in total! (I actually saw 5 of them, but missed the 3rd goal coz aa woz taakin to somebody!)

The goals were scored by Liam Thear (4th minute), Sado Djalo (18), Michael Hall (27), Liam Thear (38), Liam Thear pen for hiz hat-trick (70) and finally anothaa pen, taken by Terry Galbraith in the 90th minute!

Attendance: 310 includin a few diehards from Frickley

Mee golden goals ticket woz for the 80th minute!

(It didn't win of course!)

THE TOON 1 LEEEDZ 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Saturday 18th September 2021

VIEW FROM ROW 'B' OF THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY

The game both sides needed to win ended in a 1-1 stalemate, but NUFC were lucky, to say the least to get the draw az Leeedz missed several good chances, especialy in the forst half!

They took the lead in the 13th minute when Raphinha had a shot from the edge of the box, which anothaa Leeedz player left, and it ended up in the back of the net at The Gallowgate End, beatin' Darlow in the Toon goal!

Thiz set the crowd gannin and "WE want Brucey out!" chants reverberated aroond aall 4 sides of the groond!

Matt Richie then came close when he hit the post with a raspin' shot, but it rebounded back into play to deny us the equaliser!

The mood woz hostile until a bit of magic from 'The Saint' (Saint-Maximin) levelled things just before the break when a pass from Joelinton foond him in the box and he jinked and weaved hiz way through the visitors defence to hit a shot into the corner of the net at The Leazes End, to send the Toon fans in the unexpected 50,000 crowd wild with delight!

It woz a very strange atmosphere az one minute Toon fans were supportin' the team and the next minute they were slaggin 'Brucey' and 'The Fat Controller' off!

Meeeenwhile the 3,000 Leeedz fans in The Leazes End top tier were in full voice with their crappy "Marchin' altogether!" songs!

I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!----FANS USED THEIR TOCHES TO LIGHT UP THE DARKNESS

THE 3,000 LEEEDZ FANS ARE ON THE TOP RIGHT!

The men from Yorkshire came close on a few occasions to retakin' the lead, but Karl Darlow (who had replaced Freddie Woodman in goal) made some great stops to deny them!

One protest from Toon fans woz to hoy paper planes from the terraces to try and stop the game and they had were thrown from aall sides of the groond, but none of them made it to the pitch!!!! (Must dee better next time!---tennis or golf baalls next?)

The game ended 'ones a piece', to a mixture of applause and boos from the Toon fans, with the applause for the players and the boooos for 'yee naa who'!

Two points from 15 lifted us to the dizzy heights of 18th in the table, while Leeedz now have 3 points!

That could aall change ower the weekend and if results divvint gan wor way, we could well find worsels in bottom place!!!

The joys of followin' NUFC!   

Attendance: 50,407 (many more than we thought would torn up!)

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THE TOON V LEEEDZ *** TOONEET at '8:00 bells'!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔bells' Friday 17th September 2021

NUFC THE ZERO AMBITION CLUB!---IT'S THE 'HOPE' THAT KILLS YOO! 

Brucey (in a very depressed voice): "I will with my experience "HOPE?" that I can keep the club just ticking along🕒🕓🕔🕕🕗 and make sure that "Err!" the club stays where it is!" (currently in 19th position, which will get us RELEGATED, Brucey!----'HOPE'less!) 

(It's not aall hiz fault of course az 'The Fat Controller' refused to buy him more than one player in the transfor window!---and of course he won't walk away az he will lose hiz £4 million compen, if he does!)

Both teams gan into tooneets game at SJP withoot a win to their name this season, so far--and in wor case we have shipped 12 goals in 4 Premyaa Leegue games!

We are have ONE solitary point from 12, while Leeedz have 2 points and sit just 2 places above us in the table!

These are desperate times for Toon fans az we look towards the abyss of The Championship yet again!

'Brucey' haz just aboot fallen oot with everyone from wor hierarchy (who made a veiled attack on him!), to the players, (Hayden, etc) the press (The 'Ronny Gill' and others) and the fans! (of course!)

With Callum Wilson oot til 'God naaz when', we will nee doubt plod alang regardless with Jokelinton, etc! (Depressin' times indeed!)

At least goalie Karl Darlow iz fit again, az Freddie Woodman haz made some bad misstayaks, which have cost us dearly! (It woz 'leaked' in the press orlier this week that Woodman would be dropped!)

It's a category 'A' game with £40 the minimum adult price for the 'torture', which of course iz live on the 📺telly! ('OFF' buttons at the ready!)

3 points pleeeze, or else SJP will become very toxic indeed!☠

PS: We've hord 'through the grape vine' that there iz to be a big protest durin the game, with paper planes bein' 'flown' onto the pitch and referees whistles to be 'blowin' in the crowd!✈