Wednesday, 8 December 2021

POSSIBLE LAND GRAB FOR NEW GALLOWGATE STAND!?

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 8th December 2021




*This iz a great chance to buy back the land that 'The Fat Controller' sold (for a pittance to some relative of hiz) and build a mirror image stand like The Leazes End at Strawberry Place!

Another tier could then be added to The East Stand to harmonize the size of the other stands!

Wishful 'fink'in perhaps, but a real possibility!

"Amanda!, are yoo readin this!?"



*

Tuesday, 7 December 2021

THE TOON U23s 2 THE SMBs U23s 0 *** FA PREMYAA LEEGUE 2

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 7th December 2021


"ARE YOO sUND'LIND IN DISGUISE!?"

After a few 'liquid lubrications in the nearby 'Black Bull and 'Ship' with a lad caalled Davy, it woz time to heed for the groond where an ower zelious steward asked me if I woz a Toon fan!

Az I woz wearin a black n white Toon wooly hat and scarf, with the club crest on, (plus badges) aa said "Wot do yoo 'fink?" az aa pointed to the badge on mee hat!---He gave me a dodgy look before lettin me pass! (The SMBs were segregated behind one goal and he thought I might be one of them????) ('Fink' he needs to gan to 'Specsavers'!)

This woz because wor second string were takin on the mackems equivalent last neet at 'Blue Flames, Benton and we came oot 2-0 winners, thanx to Dylan Stephenson who scored 2 excellent goals---one in each half!



The SMBs had Almond sent off in the 17th minute after a bad tackle on Charlie Wiggett, but thankfully he woz OK and continued after some treatment!



5 mins after the sendin off Dylan Stephenson opened the scorin' when he dribbled roond 2 mackem defenders to cooly fire home to send the home faithful into delerium! (whey!--light applause, anyway!)


Then in the 2nd half with just 5 mins left on the clock, a shot by Lucas De Bolle woz parried oot by the SMBs keeper and Stephenson woz on hand to fire home and seal the points!


"WHO WE GOT IN THE CUP---LIKE!?"


Durin the forst half the draw woz made for the FA Cup 3rd roond and some fans watched intently on their mobile 'telling bones' to find oot that we had drawn Leegue One CAMBRIDGE UNITED at SJP! (That'll dee nicely!)


Attendance: 475 includin' 23 SMBs behind one of the goals!




Monday, 6 December 2021

"COME IN NUMBER 29!" *** FA CUP DRAW AT '7ISH' TOONEET *** TYNE/wear DERBY AT BLUE FLAMES TOONEET AT '7:00 BELLS'!

 Posted '6:00pm bells' Munday 6th December 2021



The 3rd roond draw of the FA Cup takes place on ITV4 tooneet in approx 1 hours time and NUFC are baall number 29 in the draw!

A home tie would be preferable, but if it's away, we want a groond that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never been tee!

NOT many to pick from there I'm afraid, with just 3 left in the draw where we have never seen The Toon play! And they are AFC Wimbledon, Bristol Rovers and Brentfaad---who we of course will visit in a Premyaa Leegue game next year!

The Geordie Times will of course bring yoo, wor loyal reeeders the news az soon az we find oot!

AND NUFC WILL PLAY!!!!-----CAMBRIDGE UNITED AT SJP

Aalso at '7:00 bells' wor U23s take on the mackem U23s at Blue Flames (aka Whitley Park) in a Premyaa Leegue 2 derby encoontaa!

A match report on that game will appear here on Tuesday---sometime!



LATEST FROM ST. JAMES' PARK!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 6th December 2021



"JOYOUS NEWS FROM ST. JAMES' PARK!" πŸ€ͺπŸ‘

*



*'FAT CONTROLLER GONE!--BROKEN NOSE BRUCE GONE!---PENFOLD GONE!---SD SIGNS GONE!"----SO A'V GONE ON 'A BENDER'!🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺



*"AT LAST THOSE 300 UGLY SD SIGNS THAT HAVE BLIGHTED WOR STADIUM HAVE FINALLY BEEN BANISHED TO THE RUBBISH SKIPS!"




"WE'VE GOT WOR CLUB BACK!"



Sunday, 5 December 2021

THE TOON 1 THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 5th December 2021




"WE'VE ACTUALLY WON A GAME!!!!!!"

SIX months after wor last Premyaa Leegue win (away to Fulim) we finally---finally!--broke wor duck for this season at the 16th attempt (15 Premyaa Leegue, 1 Leegue Cup) by actually winnin' a game!!!!

Callum Wilson woz wor hero of the day when we wellied home a shot into the roof of the unguarded net in the 40th minute, after the Bornley goalie dropped the baall at The Leazes End!----VAR intervened to see if he had been fouled, but thankfully----mercifully!---the goal stood az the roof woz lifted off the stadium!



Then a late shock when 'The Hillbillies' equalized, but again VAR intervened and thankfully!---mercifully!---the goal woz disallowed for offside! (the line-aa on the East Stand side had raised hiz flag)


When the final whistle blew the noise and celebrations from the fans and players and backroom staff woz unreal---If yoo were a stranger yoo would have thought that we'd actually won the Leegue or FA Cup, such woz the relief of everyone inside SJP!


Attendance: 51,948 (2,500 Hillbillies!) < (They live high up on the Pennine hills of Lancashire!)

Wotfaad's loss to Man City meeenz that we are anly 3 points from safety with 23 games to gan!---OK, the next 4 games are against big opposition in the form of Lestaa away (could nick a point?), Liverpoool away(ne chance), Man City at home (nee chance) and Moan United at home (could nick a point?)--and after that it's Evaatin away (could nick 3 points?)---and then the January transfor window, when, hopefully some big guns will roll into the side!

HAPPY AND RELIEVED TOON FANS LEAVE THE GROOND, SINGIN' THEIR HEEDS OFF!

Everybody, includin most NUFC fans thought that we were doomed before the game, BUT now they realize that we could in fact escape the drop! (The Geordie Times never gave up hope!)

We have got that 'monkey off wor back' at last! (apologeez to Hartlepool fans!)  πŸ’

Saturday, 4 December 2021

THE TOON v THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 4th December 2021



"IT'S SQUEEKY BUM TIME, FOLKS!"

If we can beat Bornley today and other results gan in wor favour, then we will anly be 3 points from safety---but of course NUFC are winless in 14 Premyaa Leegue games plus that Leegue Cup tie v Bornley, when we went oot on penalties after a 0-0 draw at SJP in August!

Indeed, 'The Hillbillies' have anly won 1 oot their 13 Premyaa Leegue games and none away!----A great chance for 'US' to get that forst elusive win under wor belts!

Lose or draw this game though and things will be bleak on the run up to Xmas and the new year, az we will be cast adrift with games at Lestaa, the 2 Manc clubs and Liverpoool comin' up!

At the time of writin' there were just 145 tickets left for the game and they will surely be sold before the '3:00 bells' kick off!---Anothaa 'selloot' for the bottom team! 

("We must be mental---we must be mad!?---but we're the loyalist futbaall supporters---the world haz ever had!"

Az per usual a full match report will appear here on Sunday---sometime!

Friday, 3 December 2021

THE HEEDBANGERS v CHARLTON PATHETIC *** FA CUP 2nd ROOND *** TOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 3rd December 2021



Tooneet at '7:45 bells' 'The Heedbangers' of Gatesheed take centre stage on Tyneside, when they play Charlton Pathetic in the FA Cup 2nd roond at Gatesheed International Stadium!

The game iz live on ITV4 and a'v opted to watch it in 'The Crows Nest' rather than in person at Gatesheed Stadium for a number of reasons!

1: Its aalways freeezin cold when we gan, there az the main stand faces in the direction of the Tyne, where the wind blows hard into yi face! (Plus there are NEE tickets on sale today anyway?----for whatever reason?)



2: Not sure wot they are chargin tooneet to get in, but if wor resorve friendly iz anything to gan by, then prices will be too high, plus yoo need pre booked tickets to get in! (see Heed v Toon match report from August, below)

3: The fiasco in that friendly would put anybody off az the inside toolsheds and caterin' were out of bounds! (ie: nee food or booze on sale!)

4: The main stand iz sold oot tooneet----(the anly cover in the groond) and so the rest iz open to the elements! (ie: It's dry in the bar!)

5: The 8 lane runnin track and lang jump pit, meeenz yoo are too far from the pitch----Just like West Ham's new abode! (ie: Yoo get a much better view on the big screen!)

Anyway!---We at The Geordie Times wish them the best of luck against Leegue 1 Charlton ---and nee doubt the south Londoners will bring a couple of thoosand with them to boost the gate!

The draw for the 3rd roond takes place on Munday neet and we can anly hope that if 'The Heedbangers' get through, that they DIVVINT get NUFC! (For obvious reasons!)

The last time we were here! (see match report below!)


Updated '10:30am bells' Saturday



A valiant effort from Gatesheed who had several good chances to score! But it woz Charlton who did score goals in their 2-0 win!

We watched the game in The Crows Nest in the Haymarket area of the Toon and everyone woz rootin' for wor very near neighbours who aalso play in black n white (checkered flag shirts!)

But it wernt to be!---Aall eyes on the 3rd roond draw on Munday, when NUFC are involved!

Spotted in the crowd woz a certain former NUFC record breakin' centre forward in disguise!




THE HEEDBANGERS 4 THE TOON U23/ACADEMY X1 1 *** PRE SEASON FRIENDLY

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 2nd August 2021


"COVID 19 'HEED'-ACHE!"

Havin just got back from Burton (See match report below) and after dumping mee owerneet bag back yem and gettin some scran, it woz soon time to heed for 'The Nags Heed' on Gatesheed high Street before heedin for Gatesheed stadium where 'The Heed' were takin on wor U23/Academy X1 side in a friendly!

After a swift 'gargel' in 'The Nags', it woz off to the stadium to get some more ale in the bar beneath the main stand!

Gettin a ticket for the game woz a nightmare az there were nee pay gates on the day and so a'd ended up booking online on mee phone durin the half time break at Burton the neet before!

Gatesheed had billed this game az a Newcasil X1, to try and sell more tickets,  but the fact that they were charging £15 for adults and a tenner for zimmerframe-ites(like me!) and sprogs, woz way ower the top and DOUBLE the zimmerframe-ites(OAP) price for The Toon's friendly game v Nohrich next Saturday!!

Anyway! I approached the turnstiles, but they were shut and a steward told me that the turnstiles wornt open til 1 hour before kick off! (It woz 1:30 bells')  He aalso told me that the bar wasn't open and there woz nee food on sale az they didn't want queues inside the concourses, because of Covid restrictions!

Strange that AALL the previous friendlies had their food outlets open, az well az the bars!?

I decided a change of plan and heeded to 'The Schooner' bar next to the Tyne doon the road!


It woz packed and there woz a QUEUE to get drinks at the bar!!!

Aa stopped there til near KO time and heeded back to the groond where mee phone woz scanned to get in!

A'd arranged to meet 'Glennn from Ashington' and 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' inside and sat beside them, leavin a 1 seat gap between us, az there woz plenty of room!

We could see two female stewards pointing at us and sure enough one came up and told Glennn that he woz sitting in a seat withoot a Gatesheed sticker on it and that wasn't allowed!

She told him to move to the seat next to me which had one, which meant that there woz nee social distancing between us!

Pure ridiculous nonsense if yoo ask me!!!

And then the beer went through me, so I heeded to the 'tool shed' for a 'gypsies kiss'!  On mee way doon the stairs a woman steward stopped me and asked me where aa woz gannin'   "The toilet!" aa said---and she said: "Your supposed to use the portaloos next to the runnin track, but az you are near the toilets inside, you can go there!" ("EH!"?)

SPOT THE PORTALOOS!
WOW!-- how ridiculous can yoo get?---every other away game we have been to so far in pre season, we were allowed to use the inside toilets, buy food and drink and sit where yoo wanted---but in Gatesheed, yoo can't!

Anyway!---The game kicked off and az expected wor team woz full of young guns, which the home side took advantage of from the word go!  £15 for an adult ticket to watch wor youth team!---a complete con and rip off by Gatesheed FC! (The most expensive of wor pre season games!)


Not suprizingly 'The Heedbangers' with several former Toon players in their side includin captain Mike Williamson, took the lead from ex Toon player Adam Campbell in the 12th minute and doubled it in the 30th minute through another former Magpie, Greg Olley!


It woz aall Gatesheed, but we managed to hold oot til half time with just a 2-0 deficit!

NUFC came oot of the block in the 2nd period and scored within 3 minutes of the restart, when Dylan Stephenson fired home to bring us back into the game!

It didn't last lang though and 'The Heedbangers' went 3-1 up through a goal from yet another former Toon player, Cedwyn Scott who scored from a through baall!   

It woz 4-1 to the home side 10 minutes after their 3rd when Paul Blackett's shot foond the corner of the net, much to the delight of 'The Heed Army' and despair of 'The Toon Army'!

It could and should have been more to the home side, but thankfully there were nee more goals conceded!---In total NUFC used aall 22 players available, many of them teenagers and it woz the heaviest defeat for a Toon side v Gatesheed that aa can remember!

A CRUMPLED TEAM SHEET--WOT DID YOO EXPECT?---
THIZ IZ 'THE GEORDIE TIMES' AFTER AALL!

Attendance: 833 (200 or so Toon fans)(100 in the far stand from us and approx 100 in the main stand)

*If they had charged, say a tenner for adults and a fiver for concessions and had a pay gate, a 4 figure crowd would have most likely torned up!

Taalk aboot shootin' yoursel in the foot! 

Or shud that be: shootin' yoursel in the 'HEED'!?

πŸ₯ΆπŸ”«



Thursday, 2 December 2021

THE TOON 1 THE CANARY CUSTARD CREAMS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 2nd December 2021



"SELF INFLICTED WOUNDS!"

The game against Nohrich woz there to be won, but Ciaran Clark had other ideas and got himself sent off in the 9th minute for a daft 'pull-back' of Teemu Pukki, who woz clean through on goal! 

This woz after Clark had made a botched clearance, just to make it a bit  more difficult for us!  That meant we had to survive 81 minutes with 10 men---an uphill battle we didnt need!

We survived til half time withoot a single shot on goal and wor visitors were even worse!



The breakthrough came in the 61st minute when a Nohrich player woz adjudged to have handled the baall in the box---and after a lang VAR check and massive protest from their players, the ref went ower to look at the monitor and he gave the penalty, much to the annoyance of the away side and ex Toon goalie Tim Krul.

Callum Wilson took it after some antics by Krul to put him off, but he woz unable to keep the shot oot, despite gettin a hand to it and pushin the baall onto the underside of the cross bar at 'The Gallowgate End'!

The roof lifted off the groond when it went in and the anly question left woz 'can we keep a clean sheet' for once and hold on for the win?



Unfortunately NOT, az Dubravka in The Toon goal parried the baall in the 79th minute from a harmless lookin cross, instead of tryin to catch it or punch it clear at The Leazes End---and The Canary's Pukki woz onhand to fired home the equalizer, to the despair of most of the 50,000 present---but NOT for the 800 or so Nohrich diehards who had made the difficult jorney north!

They then went for the winner, but thankfully Dubravka redeemed himself with a couple of great saves and in the end we were hangin on for 'dear life'!

ONE point lifts gives us 7 points from 14 games and nee wins of course, az we gan into December withoot a victory to wor name, which iz by far and away the worst run in wor entire history!

Can we escape???---Who knows, but Bornley are next up on Saturday and (az we repeated many times before) its a must, must, must win game!

'Self inflicted wounds' were wor downfaall this time, so lets hope we can keep 11 players on the pitch to give us a fightin chance against Bornley, who are 3rd bottom!? 


Attendance: 50,757 

*PS: Sorry aboot the delay in puttin this game online, but aa woz rushed off mee feet yesterday and just didnt have time!


Wednesday, 1 December 2021

THE TOON v NOHRICH MATCH REPORT WILL BE LATE!----VERY LATE!!!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 1st December 2021



Due to unforeseen circumstances the Nohrich match report will not appear here til tomorrow!

This IZ The Geordie Times---wot did yoo expect!?

ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST