THE GOOD NEWS WEEK CONTINUES!

 Posted 'high noon bells' St. George's Day, Friday 23rd April 2021

Last neet Fat Sam the Ugly Man's West Brom lost 3-0 at Lestaa and on Wedinzday Sooothampton lost at Sporz.

Brightin aalso dropped 2 point on Tuesday, makin it a canny week aall roond for The Toon in the battle to avoid the drop!

We are 11 points clear of West Brom, 1 point clear of Brightin and just 1 point behind Sooothampton, who are in free fall!

NUFC play forst ower the weekend, when we heed to Anfield tomorrow at '12:30 bells' to play ex European Super Leegue club Liverpoool!

Fulim, who are 8 points adrift of us divvint even play coz they were due to play one of the Leegue Cup finalists (Chelski or Man City)(don't know which one?)

Anything against The Liverbirds will be a bonus and unbelievably they have won just 1 of their last 8 home games!(the last one)

With just 6 games to gan, teams aroond us are running oot of games fast! (Fulim anly have 5 to save themsels)

We will be watching on from The Strawberry 🍓 balcony beer garden next to SJP, az we managed to get a few seats booked next to the telly!

A full match report from wor balcony seats will appear here--eventually!🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

"SNAKES IN THE GRASSSSSSS!"

🐍 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 22nd April 2021 🐍

Would NUFC have joined the ESL, if invited?

Make nee misstayk, yoo could bet your 'bottom dollar' that wor beloved? owner 'The Fat Controller' would have crawled ower broken glass to join the ESL, IF we'd been invited!

Az would the 'Brady Bunch' West Ham owners, Gold, Sullivan and Brady! (plus a few others!)

So let's not take the moral high groond and admit that it could've been 'us' az well!

The apologies by the Yank owners at Man U and Liverpoool were pathetic, hollow and NOT believable and have fuelled even more fan outrage, az it haz at the other 4 'snake in the grass' clubs, with angry protests at each and every one of them!

Top marks to aall of them!

They hadn't figured on the reaction and fury that AALL fans felt from Liverpoool to Manchester and London and beyond the so caalled 'big six'?

It will be very interestin indeed to see if Masters and hiz cronies at the PL meet out any punishment for these 'six poisonous snakes!???

Or will they 'chicken oot'🐔 and not dee anything at aall!?

Anly time will tell in this sorry 48 hour saga!

NO SURRENDER TO THE ESL! 🏳

 Posted '2:22am bells' Wedinzday 21st April 2021

FINE DINING AT THE TOP TABLE!

PROPER LOYAL FANS 6! 🏁  

FAT GREEDY PIGS 0! 🏳

So, just 48 hours after it woz annoonced, the self proclaimed 'super 6' Inglish club founder members, became former founder members of the 12 strong European Super Leegue!

Fan power woz the reason for the collapse after Chelski's Stamford Bridge groond woz besieged by angry fans before their leegue encounter with Brightin last neet and within 4 hours of the Chelski protests aall 6 clubs surrendered to the fan pressure!

The day before, fans protested ootside Anfield, Old Trafford and Elland Road, where Liverpoool were playin Leeedz

It woz reeely pleasin' to see fans of the clubs involved in the closed shop, comin' oot to try and stop it!---And they succeded!

Well done lads and lasses----Futbaall fans united!

Anyone who thought for one second that this cartel would work, woz way off the mark and sadly mistaken!

This iz NOT America where franchises are common and relegation iz unhord of! 

And of course the 2 main protagonists who own Liverpoool and Man United are American billionaires who thought they could do az they do in the USA and have a cartel in the UK!

To have 12 'elite'? clubs decide who could or couldn't join their party woz ridiculous, unworkable and patronizing!

The six Inglish clubs who joined will now face the wrath of their fans, who simply won't forgive or forget their self centred interest to control European futbaall with their pure greed!

"NO SURRENDER TO THE ESL!" 🏁

Wor 'little sister' 'The Times of London's front page today!

STOP PRESS!

THE SMBs have just annonnced their own closed shop leegue!

'MASTER' OF HIZ OWN DOWNFALL!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 20th April 2021

Richard Masters the chief executive of The Premyaa Leegue crawled ower broken glass to lick the boots👢😛 of the so caalled 'big six', who opposed the NUFC takeower, az they didn't want us to dine at the 'big table' alang side them!

They have now knifed Masters in the back, az they went behind HIZ back to form this new European Super Leegue, with nee relegation for the  founder members!

A cartel in other words!

To get hiz revenge, Masters shud now BACK wor takeower bid, to get hiz own BACK on them!

THE FRONT PAGE OF TODAY'S 'RONNY GILL'!

IT'S GOOD NEWS WEEK!🤪👍

 Posted '10:41am bells' Munday 19th April 2021

Joe Willock's winnin goal to give us 3 precious points on Saturday!

THINGS ARE LOOKIN UP!

Well!--- aall the results ower the weekend went wor way and we find worsels 8 points clear of the drop zone in 15th place!

Thankfully there woz more heartbreak for Fulim when they conceded deep into stoppage time (again) to deny them 3 points at The Arse!

Bornley lost to Moan U 3-1 , with Brightin not playin til tooneet and WBA not til Thorsday!

THE NOT SO SUPER, SUPER LEEGUE!

And then we hear aboot the so caalled 'big six' forming their own excluusive Super European club, where none of them can be relegated!

Good riddance to aall of them IF yoo ask us, let them gan on their adventure with nee thought aboot their fans, who will have to travel vast distances to watch away games!

They have stuck a knife into the back of the Premyaa Leegue and aaall the other leegues az well!

Good news week? You bet, if they depart!

It will give the rest of us a chance to win sommik for starters!

PS: Az an added 'bonus' the smb lost for the 3rd game in a row, to severely dent their automatic promotion dreams from Leegue 1-- while 'The Smoggies' lost again, and can't even make the Championship play offs now!  Well done Neil Warnock! 

A 'very' good news week, indeed!🤪👍 (so far!)

THE TOON V THE JELLIED EELS MOB*** 12:30 BELLS'

 Posted from '11:30am bells onwards, Saturday 17th April 2021

"SORRY! WE HAVE NEE ROOM IN WOR BEER GARDEN TODAY!"

NO ROOM AT THE INN!

Despite repeated attempts to book into a multitude of Toon boozers with tellys in their beer gardens to watch the match, we have been unsuccessful and so we must watch the match on a dodgy channel on wor laptop at Geordie Times HQ once again!

This iz yet anothaa 'must not lose game', with Fulim not playin til tomorrow v The Arse and West Brom not playin at aall this weekend!

And so this iz a great chance to pull well clear of them IF we can somehow win against high flying West Ham at SJP!

The man we fear for the east Londoners iz Jesse Lingard, who haz scored 8 goals in hiz last 9 games! (He's on loan from Moan U)

With Saint Maximin and Callum Wilson now fully fit, we expect them to be in the starting line up which will be reproduced below in a few minutes time!

But what formation will Brucey play, we ask worsels?  If we gan for a draw and a point we fear it will backfire badly, and so (hopefully) we will gan aall oot for the 3 points to drag us 9 points clear of Fulim and 11 points clear of 'Fat Sam the Ugly Man's, West Brom!

Oh no!  He prefers Joelinton to Wilson!??? Iz Brucey gannin for yet anothaa home draw?  Wor 4th in a row????

A running 🏃‍♂️ commentary on any major incidents or goals, will be updated periodically below!

*

*13th min  1st shot on goal by Murphy at The Leazes End!

*18th min 2nd shot on target by Saint Max

*22nd min  Saint Max run through West Ham defence and hiz shot iz deflected for a corner

*34th min GOAL SAINT MAX SHOT GANS IN OFF DIOP  AND DAWSON IS SENT OFF FOR 2ND BOOKABLE OFFENCE!

40TH MIN  GOAL JOELINTON TAPS BAALL OWER THE LINE FROM 1INCH OOT 2-0 (A GOAL YOUR GRANNY COULD HAVE SCORED WITH HOR ZIMMERFRAME!)

HT 2-0 UP

*53rd min Commentator: Former West Ham player Frank McAveney used to party in London and used to go to bed with co-co (Iz that a cup of co-co or Co-co the clown?)

*72nd minute Despite playin with 10 men West Ham are dominant and pull a goal back through Diop with a heeded goal! (panic stations!)

*79th min  Oh no a penalty to West Ham and Lingard makes nee misstayk from the spot 2-2 (will we blow it now!)

*82nd minute  GOAL  SUPERSUB JOE WILLOCK WHO HAZ BEEN ON FOR 83 SECONDS HEEDS HOME FROM A FANTASTIC RICHIE CROSS TO PUT US BACK IN THE LEAD! (Below)

*90TH MINUTE    4TH OFFICIAL SHOWS 8(EIGHT) MINS STOPPAGE TIME!!!! (SQUEEKY BUM TIME FOLKS!)

*98TH MINUTE  REF BLOWS FOR FULL TIME AND WE ESCAPE WITH THE 3 POINTS TO PUT US 9 POINTS CLEAR OF FULIM AND MOVE TO 15TH IN THE TABLE----AALMOST SAFE NOW----AALL WE WANT IZ FOR THE ARSE TO BEAT FULIM TOMORROW AND WE WILL SURELY BE SAFE!

bRUCEY HAZ A LOT TO ANSWER FOR, PLAYIN LIKE THAT IN THE 2ND HALF AGAINST 10 MEN WHEN WE WERE 2-0 UP---LUCKY B*STARD COMES TO MIND!

MORE PICS TO FOLLOW MUCH LATER AZ A'M OFF TO A BEER GARDEN TO CELEBRATE!  

"YAA HOO!"🤪👍

 

BORIS RECEIVES "BRILLIANT" NEWS ON THE NUFC TAKEOWER!

 Posted '1:47pm bells' Friday 16th April 2021

It haz been reported in 'The Daily Mail' that wor prime minister Boris Johnson haz said that it woz "BRILLIANT" news that the NUFC takeower bid woz still on track!

 And he could barely contain hiz glee, when told by an aide!

A statement from Boris:

"Let's make this absolutely crystal clear!  I have NOT interfered with the Newcastle United proposed takeover by the Saudis!  But it is indeed brilliant news that the deal could be resurrected!" "HOWAY THE LADS!"

MORE TWISTS AND TURNS IN THE TAKEOWER SAGA!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 15th April 2021

NUFC SHARE THE FRONT PAGE OF A NATIONAL NEWSPAPER WITH ROYAL FAMILY!  

WHO WOULD EVER HAVE BELIEVED THAT!?

New developments have surfaced in the Saudi takeower saga, az a leaked letter states that the culture Secretary Oliver Dowden haz said that there iz no reason the believe that there iz a connection between the PIF and the Saudi government!

Indeed prime minister Boris haz been approached by Bin Salam aboot the way the Premyaa Leegue have treated the PIF unfairly!

The front page of today's Daily Mail conforms this and we reproduce the correspondence between Dowden and John Nicolson in the Parliamentary debate on the subject!

Iz the deal back on?---We can anly hope and pray that it IZ! and that the lang suffering Toon fans can finally have a team to challenge for major trophies and not fight relegation battles season after season after season after season after -----!

And from wor local 'rag' 'The Ronny Gill'

SHOP STAFF SHAFTED!

 Posted '3:00pm bells' Wedinzday 14th April 2021

News that wor beloved owner? known affectionatly az The Fat Controller to Toon fans, haz sent letters to the NUFC club shop staff, tellin' them that they have been sacked az the new owners divvint want them!

New owners?---Haz sommik happened behind the scenes?  Haz the Saudi takeower been reserected?  Who knows???

In the letters sent to the staff, thats exactly wot they have been told!  A bit of a shock and a disgrace to be 'shafted' in a letter and not told personally!---But nowt surprises us with this club anymore!

But mystery still surroonds the bid and buildin' wor hopes up after they have been dashed so many times iz soul destroyin' to say the least, especially with the 'fare' sorved up on the pitch!

The Geordie Times will beleeeeve it when or IF it eventually happens!

Until then, fingers crossed that the deal WILL gan through!

PS: Hopefully the club shop staff will be re-employed by the potential new owners?---Who will staff the shop if they aren't?

IT'S NOT OWER TIL IT'S OWER!

Posted '10:50am bells' Tuesday 13th April 2021

West Brom's 3-0 win ower Sooothampton last neet meenz that they are now 8 points behind us!   With Fulim 6 points adrift the relegation fight iz far from ower!

Sooothampton have now been dragged into it and are only 4 points aheed of us now!

Brightins 0-0 draw v Evaatin, meenz that they move one point aheed of us on 33, alang with Bornley, who The Toon beat on Sunday!

Wor game v West Ham next Saturday  iz another game that we must try and win and NOT gan for a draw!

6 more points (38) shud see us safe, but with games v Liverpoool, Lestaa, The Arse and Man City coming up after West Ham, it won't be plain sailing for sure!

It's not ower til its ower folks!