Wednesday, 5 August 2020

🎵ANY ANY ANY JOE BRYAN!🎵

Posted '1:32pm bells' Wedinzday 5th August 2020

Fulim'z 2-1 win v Brentfaad last neet meenz that The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers WONT miss oot on a new groond next season in The Premyaa Leegue az we have been to Fulim'z Craven Cottage groond before(of course), but NOT Brentfaad'z new groond, which they will play in next season!

(Joe Bryan got both goals to send Fulim back to the Premyaa)

If Brentfaad had won, then we probably wouldn't have been able to gan coz games are behind closed doors until forthaa notice!  
In my case, it would have meant missin a competitive Toon game on a new groond for the first time in 41 years---So that iz the reason I am delighted that Fulim won!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been to every othaa top fight groond, so it's great news that we wont miss oot, even if we cant gan due to 'the bat out of hell's pandemic!

I can feel a song comin on!
🎵Any Joe Bryan any Joe Bryan any any any Joe Bryan!
Who put the baall in the Brentfaad net?
Joe Bryan! Joe Bryan!

Tuesday, 4 August 2020

SIGN THIS PETITION NOW! 76,000 (plus) so far, have! *** TARGET: 100,000!

Posted '2:22pm bells' Saturday 1st August 2020 (32,000 signed!)
Updated 10:10am bells Sunday 2nd August 2020 (41,500 signed!)
'9:09pm bells' Sunday 2nd August 2020 (50,000 signed!)
'9:40pm bells' Munday 3rd August 2020 (66,000 signed!)
'9:00pm bells' Tuesday 4th August 2020 (76,000 signed!)



The NUFC takeower fiasco has infuriated all Toon fans and a petition to 'Boris' and the UK government to ask for an investigation and inquiry into The Premyaa Leegue's total disregard for everybody, iz now deein the rounds!

Gan to:      http:/chng.it/9fF2V2cj


So far a Magnificent 76,000 have signed it, includin 'The Geordie Times' (of course!) and are now three qwaataaz 
of the way to 100,000 target!
Former Toon players have aalso signed, including: Rob Lee, Robbie Elliott, Faustino Asprilla, Gavin Peacock, Micky Quinn and Michael Chopra!
In the last 24 hours alone a forthaa 10,000 have added their support!
That's 24,000 more than the capacity of St. James' Park! 

This is not just aboot NUFC!
ANY club ootside the so caalled 'top 6', who could be taken ower by a very rich benefactor,  is likely to be challenged, as the 'elite teams' dont want anybody ootside their 'exclusive club', to join!

Are yoo listenin' Evertin fans?, are yoo listenin' West Ham fans?, are yoo listenin' Leedz fans?, are yoo listenin' Villa fans?--- the list of 'so caalled' 'lesser clubs' gans on and on!

Pleeeze sign it (whoever's yoo support!) to show your disgust at the way it has been handled ower the last 17 weeks!

We will update this every day until the 'target' of 100,000 iz (hopefully!) reached?----at this rate, less than a week from now!



"COME ON FUL-IM!"

Posted '11:20am bells' Tuesday 4th August 2020

The Championship play off final takes place tooneet at an empty Wembley and 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be rooting for Fulim, rather than Brentfaad!

The reason is simple!  Next season Brentfaad move to a new stadium and there iz a very real possibility that away fans wont be allowed at aall!

Its 41 years since 'yours truely' last missed a competitive Toon game on a new groond and Brentford's promotion would end that record!

Fulim of course still play at Craven Cottage where we have been many times before and to miss that away game would be far less painful!

For that 'selfish' reason alone we want Fulim to win!

"Come on Ful-im!"


Full time score to follow!🤞

Updated '10:10pm bells'
2-0 to FULIM ! WOR NEW GROONDS RECORD REMAINS INTACT FOR NEXT SEASON! (Er! until the 'cup draws' are made!)

Friday, 31 July 2020

"IT COULD ANLY HAPPEN TO 'US'!"

Posted '7:45pm bells' Groundhog day 2020!


Updated on Friday '10:00am bells!

*I nearly crashed mee truck az I passed Wetherby at '3:30 bells' yesterday afternooon when I hord the news on the radio!

We must aall back Amanda Staveley to see if the deal can be resurrected!

"LET'S BACK AMANDA!"💖

Wednesday, 29 July 2020

"COME ON YOO SWANZ!"

Posted '7:56am bells' Wedinzday 29th July 2020
Updated '9:47pm bells'
SWANZEE'Z MASCOT
'CEDRIC THE SWAN!'

The 2nd leg of the Championship play off semi final takes place tooneet between Brentfaad and Swanzee at Griffin Park!

And 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be rooting for The Swanz who have a 1-0 lead from the 1st leg!
The reason we want Swanzee to win is simple!
We've been to The Liberty Stadium before, but Brentfaad are playin their last ever game at their present groond and are moving a mile doon the road to a new stadium next season!

This meenz that if THEY win promotion, NUFC will be playin at their new home next season and yoo can bet your bottom dollar that we will get them away orly in the season!

Az fans will still not be able to attend games til at least October, this would meen that we would be denied a new groond, to tick off wor list!

Personally, I have to gan back 41 years for the last time I missed a competitive NUFC 1st team game on a NEW GROOND and for this reason alone, I divvint want them to be promoted!

"COME ON YOO SWANZ!"

Updated '9:47pm bells'
Devastatin' news for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 😭
az Brentfaad won 3-1, to gan through to the final on Sunday, where they will play eethaa Fulim or Cardiff, for a place in the Premyaa Leegue!

Monday, 27 July 2020

NUFC *** FROM POLE VAULTERS!---TO LIMBO DANCERS!



Posted '9:00pm bells' Munday 27th July 2020


UNDER THE JOHN HALL/FREDDIE SHEPHERD OWNERSHIP!
TOP 5 FINISHIN' POSITIONS
2nd (1995-96) 2nd(1996-97) 3rd (1993-94) 3rd(2002-03) 4th (2001-02)
NOT FORGETTIN' 3 APPEARANCES IN THE CHAMPIONS LEEGUE IN
 1997-98, 2002-03 and 2003-04!



UNDER 'THE FAT CONTROLLER'S OWNERSHIP!
TOP 5 FINISHIN' POSITIONS
5th (2011-12) 10th (2013-14) 10th (2017-18) 12th (2007-08) 12th (2010-11)
NOT FORGETTIN' 2 RELEGATIONS IN 
2008-09 and 2015-16!

*Unless the takeower actually happens, we will be 'limbo dancin' once again next season, for sure! 


* PS: The bar can't get much lower---can it!?

Sunday, 26 July 2020

THE TOON 1 THE LIVERBIRDS 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '9:15pm bells' Sunday 26th July 2020
"THEY'VE MISSED THE GOAL!"
'PIST ONE PETE' ANGRILY POINTS AT THE TELLY IN ROSIE'S BAR
AZ THE CAMERAMAN MISSES WOR OPENIN' GOAL!

"OH SO PREDICTABLE!"

NUFC ended the season with a whimper, despite scoring inside 25 seconds, which of course, the telly cameras missed!  (Anothaa reason to be at the game and NOT watchin on from a pub, a club, or in your livin room!)
VIEW OF THE GALLOWGATE END THROUGH 
THE CHINESE ARCH! (JUST!)

Jonjo Shelvey had taken a very quick free kick which caught the Liverbirds defence, napping, the baall foond Dwight Gayle who buried it into the net at The Leazes End!
The cameras had focused on an injury to Saint-Maximin and missed the goal completely, with them showing the baall hittin the back of the net, but NOT Gayle's strike!  (Very poor show by camera operator!)

However,  Liverpoool were back on level terms 8 minutes before the break, through Van Dijk, who sent a looping heeder ower Dubravka, in the Toon goal!
(Predicably the camera DIDN'T miss this one!)

The Liverbirds stepped up the pace in the 2nd half az we brought on Joelinton with a brand new maroon hairdye to put the fear of god into wor visitors defence!(NOT!)

But 'it mattered not' az the 'Mickey Mousers' took the lead, when Origi hit a shot across the box on the hour mark to beat Dubraka---and near the end it woz 3-1 to the new champions when Mane aalso hit an identical shot across the box, to wrap the game up!

The result meenz that wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz taken just ONE point in the last five games and that wor record £40 million signin' Joelinton, will gan doon az wor worst number 9 ever, with just ONE solitary home goal in The Premyaa Leegue this season! (and just ONE away!)

Indeed!---Everton's Calvert-Lewin (2) and Tottenham's Harry Kane (2), have scored more Premyaa Leegue goals at St. James' Park, than Joelinton, who haz played in every one of wor 19 home games this season! (17 from the startin line ups and the last 2 from the subs bench!) 
(Yih couldn't make it up!)

Toon team:

*Official Attendance in Rosie's Bar doonstairs: 31 including 2 barstaff, 2 bouncers and the manageress!
(Upstairs Attendance not known, az aa cannit see through bar ceilings!)


CARTOON 'NICKED' FROM 'TRUE FAITH' FANZINE---"CHEERS!"

*
*

THE TOON v THE LIVERBIRDS *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '10:01am bells' Sunday 26th July 2020
NUFC'S NEW KIT FOR NEXT SEASON!

NUFC play wor final game of the season against the champions of Ingerland, Europe and the world in a few hours time! ('4:00 bells')

Neebody aa naa iz confident aboot us gettin anything from 'The Liverbirds', but this IZ NUFC and anything can happen!

The Toon will wear wor new kit tomorrow, which iz a throwback to thinner black n white stripes, which look much better than the fat stripes we have been playin in!

We are heedin for 'Rosie's Bar once again, which iz near St. James' Park on the corner of Chinaatoon, to watch the game, barely 200 yards away!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here in due course---of course!----Az per usual 'watch this space' for the TENTH NUFC mad-sad Tellyhoppers' report 'in a row'!

PS: The new season starts in just under 7 weeks time! 
48 days actually, on Saturday 12th September!
And will end on Sunday 23rd May 2021!
Fans are set to be let in from October, with a limited number of fans in attendance!
17,000 at The Toon we understand!
But who do they let in with ower 30,000 season ticket holders last season!???  (NOT includin the 10,000 they gave away, to fill the groond!)

Footnote: 'Broken Nose Bruce' iz convinced that he will still be the NUFC manager next season as he 'gently' applies the pressure on wor current owner 'The Fat Controller' to release funds to make us into a top 10 side!  (FAT chance!)

And look just how far wor expectation have fallen under hiz (lack of) leadership!

Bobby Robson woz SACKED when we were 5th in the table, as it woz deemed, "Not good enough!", at the time!

Saturday, 25 July 2020

MP SPEAKS AT LAST ABOOT TAKEOWER!

Posted '12:30pm bells Saturday 25th July 2020

MP for Gatesheed and an avid Toon fan Ian Mearns, who we know, has spoken at last aboot the NUFC takeower after FOWER MONTHS SILENCE!
The letter below woz written to Richard Masters, the cheef executive of The Premyaa Leegue a few days ago!
The letter woz aalso sent to Toon Central MP Chi Onwurah



*It seems to us that 'Mearnsy' is 'sitting on the fence', fearful of repercussions, whatever he says! (Just like Richard Masters!)

Friday, 24 July 2020

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE! *** BRUCE HAZ SOMETHING IN THE PIPELINE!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 24th July 2020

Sensational news reaches us aboot wot the future holds for NUFC!
Wor manager, 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz said "The longer you are in The Premier League, the bigger and better you become!" 
(Last season 13th place---this season 13th OR 14th place!?)
 With nee news whatsoever aboot the takeower, 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz aalso said that "We must plan for the future and move on!" and that he haz "Something in the pipeline!" as regards to future purchases!



HE WASN'T LYIN' EETHAA!

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