FULIM V THE TOON

 Posted from '8:30 am bells' onwards, Saturday 1st Octobaa 2022

Due to the train strike today, we were forced to drive to a hotel in Wotfaad on the Friday for an owerneet stay!

After spending the neet in Wotfaad toon centre in torrential rain on a pub crawl (pix later) the plan woz to heed off to West London on the Metropolitan tube line on Saturday mornin for wor game v Fulim at Craven Cottage!---But not before stoppin off at a few drinkin dens on the way!

A match and booze report will appear here sometime later

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

TEAM LINR UP!

FULIM ITINERARY!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔bells' Wedinzday 28th September 2022

"FULIM FURORE!"

Owing to the train strike this Saturday 'The NUFC Mad-Sad Groundhoppers' have been forced to travel doon to Wotfaad in 'Big Al's 'jam jar' on Friday (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) for wor game at Fulim in west London at '3:00 bells' on Saturday!

The plan iz to stop for the neet in Wotfaad and travel to Craven Cottage via the 'Metropolitan line' az the tube drivers arn't on strike like the train drivers!

It's not wot we wanted to dee of course, but the hotels in London have upped their prices to a eye watering £800 to £1,000 a neet for Saturday, az the London Marathon iz on on Sunday! (50,000 runners!)

We are NOT millionaires, so a 'cheapish' (£50 each) hotel in Wotfaad it iz on Friday neet! (Wotfaad iz aboot 25 miles from London to the north)

Then we will gan to the match on Saturday by tube and travel back to Tyneside after the match by road ---of course! (The hotel in Wotfaad iz 5 times az much to stay on Saturday)

PS: NUFC arn't they anly Premyaa Leegue fans who are affected by the train strike: Brentfaad are at Bournemoooth, Brightin are at Liverpoool, Evaatin are at Sooothampton and Wolves are at West Ham!----Plus aall the othaa lower leegue and non leegue sides, plus the marathon runners of course!

NOT! THE TICKET!

PPS: Some Toon fans with 70-80 loyalty points have been told that they WON'T receive their tickets due to oversellin'!!!! (It just gets worse folks!)

BEE STING!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 24th September 2022

NUFC fans are not the anly ones to suffer from train strikes!

Wor game at Fulim in west London next Saturday iz hit by a train strike on the day and wor next home game v Brentfaad iz aalso hit by a train strike on 8th October, meeeenin Bees fans cannit get here from London by train! (ie: They've been 'STUNG'!) (sic!)

Wor plans are 'up in the air' for Fulim, az we must now travel doon on Friday and come back on Sunday!----The anly problem IZ  The London marathon iz the day after we play Fulim and hotels are a mooth waaterin price for Saturday neet (£200-£300 a room!)

WE havvint decided just wot to dee yet, but drivin doon iz sommik we divvint want to dee az the roads to London will be chocker---especially with marathon traffic!

We will find a way to get there of course!----Just like Brentfaad fans will have to dee to get to 'wor place'!

More on aall this later!

"ARE WE JINXED OR WOT!?"

 Posted 'high noon 🔔 bells' Tuuzday 20th September 2022

MR JINKS THE CARTOON CAT!

"IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH EVERY AWAY DAY!"

Followin the Queen's sad passin' a week gone Thorzday it woz inevitable that wor game at West Ham on the following Sunday wud be caalled off!---And so it woz!

This meant that the train tickets bought and hotel sorted were useless--so we managed to change the bookings to the Sporz game on Saturday 22nd of Octobaa!

They then moved that game again to Sunday the 23rd, despite havin moved it once for live telly and so again we had to change the bookings! ? (Thank yoo SKY!)

The Queen's death meant that a train strike last Saturday woz cancelled and moved to when we play Fulham away in a fortneets time---MEEENIN! That the train tickets we had bought to travel to London and back on the day were again useless!

Add in the fact that there woz a train strike on the day we were to play Brighton away in August and the situation gets ridiculous!

We had to rebook that to travel on the Friday and come back on the Sunday at great extra expense for hotels and more train tickets! (We claimed the train money back but had to pay an extra £105 each for hotels!)

And then there woz Wolves away when the train stopped at Crewe and we were told that because of unfinished linework near Wolverhampton the train cud travel nee forthaa!

8 of us then had to climb in 2 taxis on the station concourse to Wolves az there woz nee othaa way of gettin there!

£200 between the 8 which worked oot at £25 each!

AND (wait for it!!!) Wor train back from Liverpoool the day after the game woz cancelled because of a shortage of train crew!---which meant we had to catch a much later train back yem!

AND THEN! (aye, there's more!) there woz the 'roadtrip' to Tranmere for a Leegue Cup tie, where THREE motorways were closed on the way back because of night road works which meant it took considerably langer to get back than intisepated!!! ⬅️(We naa aall the big words!)

HONESTLY!-- YI COULDN'T POSSIBLY MAKE IT UP!!!

Iz it Friday the 13th every time we play away this season??????

THE TOON 1 BOURNEMOOOTH 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 18th September 2022

A lack lustre display from NUFC yesterday and a disappointing result woz the outcome at SJP az an impeccable minutes silence for the Queen and a rendition of "God save the King" rang oot before kick off!

We just didn't get out of the blocks and the closest we came to scorin woz when Joelinton hit the post at The Gallowgate End and then a flurry of shots were saved by the Bournemoooth keeper to keep the score 0-0 at the half time break!

The unexpected breakthrough for wor visitors came in the 62nd minute when Billings flicked the baall past 'The Pope' in the Toon goal, to send the 1,155  Bournemoooth diehards high up in level 7 of The Leazes End into raptures!

A few minutes later a penalty appeal by Trippier for a hand baall, sent the ref to the VAR monitor and after a minutes review gave the penalty to the relief of the home crowd!

ISAK PREPARES TO TAKE THE PENALTY!

Isak took it and buried the baall to the right hand side of the Bournemoooth keeper for the equaliser!

Despite many more chances we couldn't find the winner and had to settle for the point!

We badly missed Saint Max and Callum Wilson who are both still injured! This woz without doubt wor worst performance of the season so far!--One to forget for certain!

Attendance: 52,238 (1,155 Bournemoooth fans!)

*FROM THE MATCH PROGRAMME

The Queen and Prince Phillip visit to SJP in 1997 when Sir John Hall woz chairman! *The same year az Prince ANDREW opened The Stadium of SSssshhh Yee Naa Wot!)

The Queen presents the FA Cup to Jimmy Scoular in 1955 at Wembley---NUFC beat Man City 3-1

THE TOON V BOURNEMOOOTH **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '2:09pm bells' Friday 16th September 2022

VIEW OF THE EAST STAND FROM THE LEAZES 'CORNER'

Followin' the cancellation of wor game at West 'am last week because of the Queen's death, we resume with a home game against Bournemoooth from the south coast----a 750 mile roond trip for the 1,155 diehards who are comin' to SJP for the 'unusual' '3:00 bells' kick off!---(The Premyaa Leegues langest trip)

Hopefully Saint Max, Callum Wilson and Bruno will feature after recoverin from injury, but we will soon find oot at '2:00 bells' tomorrow afternooon when the team line ups are annoonced!

A minute silence will precede the game followin by a rendition of "God save the KING!" and black armbands will be worn by both sets of players

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday---sometime!   Az per usual "Watch this space!" 

TREATED WITH UTTER CONTEMPT!---YET AGAIN!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 14th September 2022

CRICKET FANS AND PLAYERS SING "GOD SAVE THE KING!" AT THE OVAL IN LONDON!--BUT WHY WERNT FUTBAALL FANS ALLOWED TO DEE THE SAME!???

News that both wor games in November v Sooothampton away and Chelseee at SJP have been moved for live telly reached 'The Geordie Times' last neet! (See article below)

But the real 'sickener' woz the news that wor game at Sporz, which had been moved for live telly on Saturday October 22nd from '3:00 bells' to '5:30 bells', will now be played on Sunday October 23rd at '4:30 pm bells'!!!!

When the original fixture change for the Sporz game woz annoonced, we booked trains and a hotel for the Saturday neet, az it would have been a mad dash to catch the last train from King's Cross with a late finish (approximately '7:30 bells' with stoppage time---last train '9ish' on a Saturday!)

We'd booked an orly train doon on the Saturday and a '2:00 bells' train back on the Sunday!-----Az the game now doesn't start til '4:30 bells' on the Sunday, we have had to 'bin' the retorn ticket (and try and get a refund?) and buy a new one for £50 for the '10:00pm bells' train back to Tyneside! (original retorn ticket £27)

To change the game once iz bad enough----but to change it yet again shows utter contempt for travellin Toon fans after wor game at West Ham woz cancelled last Sunday because of the Queen's death! (Trains and hotel refunds requested and thankfully granted!)

Wot got us aboot the West Ham game, woz the fact that on the day the game woz to be played (Sunday) there woz a cricket test match at The Oval a few miles away, which went aheed????   Aalso golf and both codes of rugby and The Great North Run, took place ower last weekend----but of course the futbaall MUST be cancelled, az lang sufferin fans try to claim refunds for unneeded train tickets and hotels!

It wud have been nice to show wor appreciation for the Queen last Sunday at the London Stadium, but this woz denied of course, thanx to the 'sweet' FA!

TELLY TIMES FOR NOVEMBER DUE!

 Posted from '1:11pm bells' onwards, Tuesday 13th September 2022

The telly times for November shud be published sometime today and yoo can rest assured that 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the news az soon az we find oot!

The fixtures that cud be changed (anly 2!) are Sooothampton away on bonfire day Saturday 5th November at '3:00 bells' and Chelseee P*ss Potters at SJP on Saturday 12th November at '3:00 bells'! (And then it's the World Cup in Qatar!)

Updates here! 🠋🠋🠋

Soothampton away now Sunday 6th November for live telly with a '2:00 bells' kick off (nee thought for Toon fans with this kick off time!)

Chelsea at SJP still Saturday 12th November but with a '5:30 bells' kick off for live telly

Sporz game moved for a 2nd time---now '4:30 bells' on Sunday 23rd October!!!!

Aall games on SKY

GEORDIE TIMES BREAKIN NEWS!---BOURNMOOOTH GAME ON!

 Posted 6:10pm bells' Munday 12th  September 2022

"MUD!--MUD!---GLORIOUS MUD!"

 Posted '4:49pm 🔔 bells' Saturday 10th September 2022

This iz brilliant!

"MUD' YOO BELEEEVE IT!?"

A Toon fan woz mortal drunk and fell in the Tyne near the Swing Bridge after the Palace game last month!

He woz swept doon the river to by the tide to the Ouseburn mudflats, where he managed to clamber oot from the thick mud, to the astonishment of passers by!!!🤪👍💩

Just in case yi cannit make oot wot they are sayin' we have reproduced this below!

Geordie version with Inglish translation in brackets: 

Passers By (PB) "Wots happened to yee?" (What's happened to you?)

MR MUD MAN (MMM) "Aa fell in the rivaa!" (I fell in the river)

PB "Haa yi?" (Have you?)

MMM  "Av had too much tih drink!" (I've had too much to drink)

PB "No way ha ha!" --"yi aall reet?" (No way ha ha--are you all right?)

MMM "Drank a bottle of whisky!" 

PB "Drank a bootle of whisky?" -- "keep away from him, maa!" (Drank a bottle of whisky?--Keep away from him, mother)

PB "F**kin' hell mate!" (F**king hell friend)

MMM "Aa luk a bit soaked---divvint aa? (I look a bit soaked---don't I?)

PB "AYE!"---f**kin' soaked (YES!---f**king soaked)

PB "Where?, have yih just come from, there? *meaning the mud flats (Where?, have you just come from, there?)

PB "Have yih been in there aall neet? (Have you been in there all night?)

MMM "Aa don't know if av been in there aall neet!" (I don't know if I've been in there all night)

PB "HA! HA!"---Where have yi just climbed from there, like?" (HA! HA! ---Where have you just climbed from there, have you?)

MMM "THE NORTH SEA!"

PB " Aaarr yi off yih nut, yee!" (Aaarr you are out of your mind,  you!)