THE BLADE RUNNERS 0 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '1:11pm bells' Friday 6th December 2019
Updated '9:27 bells' Saturday

"V-A-R MY LORD!---V-A-R!"---

The jorney to Sheffeeeld consisted on 3 train rides from 'The Central' to York---York to Donny---and finally Donny to Sheffeeeld!----And the reason woz because it woz much cheeeper than othaa prefored routes (£35.40 retorn--back forst class!)

We arrived 4 hours before kick off and heeded for a reeel ale bar aboot half a mile from the train station, off the beaten track!

After a couple of 'liquid lubrications' there, it woz time to heed closer to the groond where we stopped for the duration, before heedin for the tornstiles!

If yoo have never been to Bramall Lane before, the outside of the stadium looks like some kind of office block and not a futbaall stand---the giveaway iz the 'blade emblem' on the side of the building (Sheff Us nickname iz 'The Blades', in case yi didn't naa!)

The Toon fans were in boisterous mood az the game kicked off, many the 'worse for ware' with the drink!
'The Blade Runners' dominated proceedings orly on, but it woz 'The Toon' who took the lead in the 15th minute, when Saint-Maximin heeded home at the far end from us, to send the 2,865 'faithful' wild with delight! (Hiz forst goal for us!)

TOON FANS CELEBRATE SAINT-MAXIMIN'S GOAL!

Sheffeeeld again dominated play but couldn't find a way through wor defence and we went in 1-0 up at half time!

THE TOON ARE IN THE DARK GREEN AWAY STRIP

Again, the home side dominated play az we attacked the goal where the Toon fans were housed!

The major (major!) talkin point came in the 70th minute when Andy Carroll heeded through to Jonjo Shelvey who had a clear run on goal---the linesman to wor left immediately raised hiz flag for 'offside' but Shelvey carried on and tucked the baall into the corner of the net, while the Sheffeeeld keeper made a half hearted attempt to stop the baall with hiz foot!
The were muted cheers from the Toon fans az we thought that it would be disallowed----but the VAR panel were consulted and after wot seemed like a lifetime, gave the decision---'GOAL'! 

This sent the Toon fans crazy az Shelvey ran doon the pitch towards us in delayed celebration az we chanted "V-A-R!  V-A-R!"

The home side were 'done in' by the decision and there woz 'nee way back' for them, az we collected the 3 precious points to lift us up to 11th place in the table, level on points with Sheff U and 'The Arse', who lost 2-1 at home to Brightin!

Sheff Us manager Chris Wilder said after the match: 
"I think Sheffield United fans are mad but Geordies, they're absolutely off their nut them!  Passionate, aren't they?--really passionate!"

Happier days indeed!---Sooothampton are next in a '2:00 bells' kick off at SJP on Sunday! (NOT on the telly)

Team line ups and more pix later, az I'm off on 'the drink' in a few minutes----will be updated sometime tooneet when aa get back yem "HIC!"

Updated Saturday '9:27am bells'

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Clark, Fernandez, Dummett, Willems, Hayden, Shelvey, Saint-Maximin (Atsu 81), Almiron (Krafth 88), Carroll (Joelinton 72)

Attendance: 30,409 (2,865 happy Toon fans!)

*Double HEEDer today!

Wor U23s take on Reading U23s at Blue Flames, Benton at 'high noon bells' today (aka Whitley Park) in a Premyaa Leegue 2 fixture---and then Gatesheed take on Alfreton Toon at The International Stadium in Gatesheed at '3:00 bells' in a National Leegue North encoontaa!
That's wor 'fixes' for today and a match report on both games will appear here----eventually!

And then (of course) tomorrow, wor forst team take on Sooothampton at SJP in a '2:00 bells' kick off in The Premyaa Leegue (NOT on the telly!) and a match report on that game will appear here sometime on Munday!
Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

THE BLADE RUNNERS V THE TOON ** THORSDAY NEET!

Posted '1:19pm bells' Wedinzday 4th December 2019

Tomorrow neet we heed for Sheffield for a rare appearance at Bramall Lane, where NUFC are taking on Sheff U in a '7:30 bells start for live telly on Amazon Prime!
Lascelles, Ritchie and 'Carroll the Crock' are aall injured and will miss the game, while Yedlin woz pictured trainin yesterday and iz expected to be available!
We have sold wor allocation of 2,865 tickets for The Bramall Lane Lower Stand.

But wot performance will NUFC put in?--Hopefully one like wor MAGnificent 2-2 draw with Man City at SJP and NOT the sorry performance we put in at Villa Park!  

Its aboot 10 years since we last played a competitive game here, but in the distant past we were regular visitors to the oldest futbaall groond in the world (the world's oldest club, non leegue Sheffield FC played here before Sheff U)

The Geordie Times forst visit woz in 1972 where a huge fight took place in The Shorham End between The Leazes End Boot Boys and The Shorham Skinheads! (In the days before crowd segrigation) 

A 'classic' archive match report from that game played on April Fools Day more than 47 years ago, iz reproduced below!

022 bramall lane sheffield

(GROUND NUMBER 22)
Date of First Visit: APRIL FOOLS DAY! 1972
BRAMALL LANE, SHEFFIELD

SHEFFIELD UNITED 1
NEWCASTLE UNITED 0

(OLD) DIVISION ONE
ATTENDANCE: 28,103 (4,000 Toon fans)





Part One:
"APRIL FOOL!---THE JUDGE IS A GEORDIE!"

The forst thing that springs to mind aboot this place, is!---- 'The Crystal Rooms', which was (and probably still is) a 'One Armed Bandit' arcade in the centre of Sheffield, as this is where the Toon and the Sheff. 'U' radgies had massive fights in 1972, before and after the match!

Hundreds had travelled doon on the train and many of the 'Leazes End Boot Boys' had simply 'come for a fight', dressed in their 'Prince of Wales' suits, slack braces and the obligatory 'Doc Marten Boots' ---and they were'nt to be disappointed!




As soon as they got off the train they made for the main drinkin' area and marched doon the middle of the road shoutin', "Your' gonna get your' f*****' heads kicked in!" as they made for where they knew the Sheffield 'crew' would be.---and sure enough, they were!---and ready for a 'go' as well!



Before lang runnin' battles doon the streets between the rival fans ensued with innocent shoppers gettin' caught up in the middle as bottles, bricks and plant pots nicked from a gardenin' shop were hurled (still with the plants inside!) as fans fought each other.




'The Sheffield Dibble' torned up with several 'meat wagons' and 'The Flyin' Squad' collered anybody who looked remotely like a skinheed. (not me, aa hasten to add!—as mee hair was doon mee back at that time!---'Led Zeppelin style'!)


Dustbins and litter bins were hoyed through the plate glass windows by the Newcastle 'nutters', and there were runnin' battles through the streets!




This sent the fans of both sides scatterin' and after a few 'Arthur Scargills' in a sleazy dive we foond, it was time to gan to Bramall Lane. The Toon fans had infiltrated the 'Shoreham End', which was the Sheffield skinheed's 'hard end' at the time, and sporadic fightin' broke oot between the rival fans.


Some of the more sensible Toon fans (alas---not me!) who'd went in the opposite end, were gettin' slagged off by the 'Shoreham Invaders' for 'chickenin' oot' of the 'pagger'.
Aa of course, went with the 'radgie gadgies', (like a lamb to the slaughter!) (bravado---or what?) and stood at the back of the stand with mee black 'n' white scarf on, thinkin' that aat any minute aa would get mee 'heed caved in' as it soon became obvious that we were ootnumbered by wor Sheffield counterparts by aboot fower tih one!




And before lang it 'kicked off'---NOT! the match you understand!, but the fightin' as the 'brave' ootnumbered 'Leazes Enders' charged into the middle of the Shoreham End! (they did have their 'reputations' to think aboot!) led by 'one' 'Doddsy' in his 'trademark' white 'butchers coat' complete with a huge Doc Marten boot crudely drawn in felt tip pen on the back, with: 'LEAZES END BOOT BOYS', written above it! (he has been mentioned before!)

Loads of Toon and 'Blades' fans got 'lifted' by the Yorkshire 'Dibbles', so aa kept mee heed doon, as ah did'nt fancy bed 'n' breakfast in the 'Dibble Savoy'! (or worse still!—'The Sheffield Royal Infirmary'!)




As the 'propa' match kicked off, there was still 'beadlem' in front of iz, and it was hard to concentrate on the action on the field, instead of the 'action' on the terraces!.

Bramall Lane was a three sided groond back then, with a cricket pitch on the far side, and this totally killed the atmosphere. (Just how the fans on that side could see, withoot a pair of binoculars---is beyond me!)

The Toon were by far the better team that day, with John Tudor and 'Supermac' gannin close on several occasions.

Tony Green and Tommy Gibb had blinders,---BUT!,---it was tih nee avail, and Sheffield took the points with just fower minutes tih gan, when Ford (who'd just came on as a late sub) beat Toon keeper Willie McFaul, with his forst touch off the baall! (which was aalso 'The Blades' forst shot of the game!)





Newcastle manager, 'Smokin' Joe Harvey, (who could'nt believe that wi'd lost!) summed it up after the match, when he said:

"IT'S NOT APRIL FOOLS DAY?---IS IT"???"WELL!----ACTUALLY!!-----JOE!!!"












Part Two:-----(A few weeks later!)




♫OH!-MEE LADS-YIH SHOULD'IV SEEN US GANNIN!♫

scene from The Blaydon Races 1862

One Toon fan who'd been arrested after the match at 'The Crystal Rooms', was a lad caalled 'Daft Tommy', who's, name implies—IS!----as 'Daft as a Brush'!, but tih be honest would'nt (and could'nt) harm a fly or punch hiz way oot of a paper bag!.

Tommy had been caught up in 'The battle of Sheffield' after the match and was nicked and charged with bein' 'drunk and dizzy', which is an offence that yih can plead guilty tee, by letter.






Quite a few had been charged with more serious offences like GBH and affray and HAD to appear personally in court. So!---on the day of the court cases a few weeks after the match, the train was 'chocker' with fans travellin' doon tih Sheffield on charges of affray and 'god naa's what'!.

Then---aall of a sudden, 'Daft Tommy' appeared and jumped on the train. The other Toon fans just stared at him, coz they could'nt work oot what he was deein there!?.






"A THOUGHT YIH WERE PLEADIN' GUILTY BY LETTER, TOMMY?", one fan asked him, with a puzzled look on his face!.

"I AM!", said Tommy, "A'V GOT THE LETTER IN MEE POCKET!!!", he said az he pulled the 'said' letter from hiz 'nanny goat'!

("There's nee answer tih that one!??-------
IS THERE"!???)



"
On their arrival in Sheffield, they heeded straight for the court hoose, where one joker said:
"THE JUDGE IS A GEORDIE, TOMMY!---IF YIH SING THE 'BLAYDON RACES' TO HIM WHEN YIH GAN IN THE DOCK, HE'LL LET YIH OFF!".

SO!---'Daft Tommy' gave the judge a rendition of the 'Geordie National Anthem'-----------
AND GOT FINED 300 quid! FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT!!! (A considerable sum in 1972!)

(There's DEFINITELY! nee answer tih THAT ONE!?????)





Footnote:
Tommy's 'claim tih fame', is that he used tih stand on one of the concrete crash barriers in the middle of the aad 'Gallowgate End', and give the crowd a rendition of the early 'sixties classic', 'LITTLE WHITE BULL!'

Geordie Glossary of Terms & Phrases (for the benefit of 'non Geordie' readers)
(as the words appear)

Toon fans=Newcastle supporters
forst=first
aboot=about
one armed bandit=gambling fruit machine
radgies=hooligans
doon=down
Leazes End Boot Boys=Newcastle hooligans
crew=hooligans
lang=long
the Sheffield dibble=the Sheffield police force
meat wagon=prison van
the flyin' squad=Sheffield police 'snatch squad'
collared=arrested
skinheed=skinhead
mee=my
hoyed=thrown
nutters=idiots
one-nowt=one-nil
Arthur Scargills=gargels=beers!
sleavy dive=run down pub
foond=found
gan=go
hard end=hooligans terrace
oot=out
pagger=fight
radgie gadgies=hooligan fans
heed caved in=head butted/punched
wor=our
tih=to
lang=long
lifted=arrested
Yorkshire dibbles=Yorkshire police force
dibble savoy=police cells
propa=proper
iz=me
groond=ground
withoot=without
gannin'=going
nee=no
fower=four
aalso=also
wi'd=we had
yih=you
should'iv=should have
caalled=called
drunk and dizzy=drunk and disorderly
tee=to
GBH=grevious bodily harm
chocker=full
doon=down
aall=all
coz=because
oot=out
deein'=doing
a'v=I have
nanny goat=coat
heeded=headed
court hoose=magestates court
yih=you
gan=go
aad=old

FA CUP DRAW *** IT'S BOSTON OR ROCHDALE AWAY!

Posted '2:30pm bells' Tuesday 3rd December 2019
Updated Wedinzday

SPOTLAND---PLEEEEZE!

The draw for the thord roond of the FA Cup haz paired us with 2 minnows!
Non leegue Boston United or Leegue 2 Rochdale!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have actually been to York Street, Boston aboot 30 years ago, when Brazilian Mirandinha made hiz debut for The Toon in a friendly.  

YORK STREET, BOSTON

We won 1-0 if I remember correctly and Mirandinha actually came into the Boston clubhoose after the game and signed the match programme for me, az it had hiz face on the front! (god naaz where that programme iz now?---somewhere in mee loft nee doubt?)


Rochdale, on the othaa hand iz a groond a'v wanted to gan tee for years, az aa must have passed the town a thoosand times or more, through work and travel to othaa away games in Lancashire!
Alang with Fleetwood, its the anly Lancashire based leegue groond aa havvent been tee! 

So, I divvint 'fink' it will take much workin oot, just whoo aa want win the replay on Tuesday December 10th in Boston! (aall lugs glued to the radio that neet!)

Whoever it iz, the tie will take place in the forst week of the new year----for live telly for certain!

Updated Wedinzday:
The game between Boston and Rochdale haz been moved forward 6 days to Munday 16th December for live telly (BT)
(The same day that wor U23s play West Ham U23s in Romford!)

NEW GROOND & FA CUP DRAW TOONEET!

Posted '1:33pm bells' Munday 2nd December 2019

RUSH GREEN STADIUM

"COME IN NUMBER 28!"

'The Geordie Times' can conform that wor U23s Premyaa Leegue 2 away game v West Ham U23s will be played at Rush Green Stadium, Romford on Munday December 16th, which (of course) 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be gannin' tee---az its a NEW GROOND to tick off the nevaa endin' list!

The train prices to King's Cross (London) from the Toon are horrendous that day---anything from £100 to £155 ONE WAY!
So unfortunately 'yours truely' will be 'slumming it' on the way doon by 'Mega-bus' for the princely sum of £14!

The train back isn't too bad and a'v managed to get a forst class ticket back on the '7:30 bells' train for £55.10p
The game kicks off at 'high noon bells'

Aalso, tooneet, there iz the possibility of several new groonds in the FA Cup 3rd roond draw, with Newport, Fleetwood, Rochdale, Fylde, Northampton and Bristol Rovers aall groonds we have yet to visit! (NUFC are baall number 28)
The draw iz on BBC 2 and Radio 5 live at '7:00 bells' and 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo---wor loyal reeeders the team we will be playin az soon az we find oot!

FA CUP UPDATE 'HERE' SOMETIME TOONEET!
Updated '7:22pm bells'
IT'S ROCHDALE OR BOSTON UNITED AWAY!
Been to Boston for a friendly a few years ago, but NOT Rochdale!

THE TOON 2 THE BLUE MOONIES 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:01am bells' Sunday 1st December 2019

THE FREE KICK WHICH SEALED A POINT---

ATSU ON THE EDGE OF THE BOX, PASSES TO SHELVEY AND AZ 
THIS PIC SHOWS, SHELVEY IZ TEEIN' UP FOR THE SHOT,
 WHICH LIFTED THE ROOF OFF THE GALLOWGATE END!

"JONJO'S WONDER STRIKE SECURES A PRECIOUS POINT!"

Jonjo Shelvey woz the hero of the hour with a fantastic strike in the 88th minute to rescue a point from the leegue champions in a gritty performance that had the crowd bouncin' with delight!

Man City had taken the lead in the 23rd minute through Sterling at The Gallowgate End after a scramble in the penaly area.
Jetro Willems equalised a couple of minutes later, when he hit a right footed screamer into the far corner of the net from a Almiron pass!(Almiron's 1st ever assist for a goal!)

We held on az The Blue Moonies pounded wor goal and missed several chances to retake the lead in the 2nd half.
They finally did it just 8 minutes from the end when De Bruyne hit a thunderbolt shot which went in off the bar, giving Debravka nee chance in the Toon goal!

When we aall thought it woz ower, we got a free kick near the penalty area. Substitute Atsu took it and just when we thought that he would centre the baall into the box, he changed his mind and passed to Shelvey, who woz waitin' at the edge of the box and the rest is history, az they say! (see top pic!)

HAPPY FANS LEAVE THE GROOND AFTER THE MATCH!

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Clark, Dummett, Willens, Shelvey, Hayden, Saint-Maximin (Atsu 80), Almiron, Joelinton (Gayle 69)

Attendance: 49,937 (3,000 Blue Moon Brigade)

*

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONIES

Posted '3:15pm bells' Friday 29th November 2019

A VIEW OF THE MILBURN STAND FROM THE GALLOWGATE END

IN WOR PREVIOUS HOME GAME v BORNMOOOTH

Tomorrow dinaatime we take on Man City in the '12:30 bells' slot for live telly at SJP!
NUFC reeely must put in a much better performance than we did in the horror show at Villa Park on Munday, or else we are in for a potential hidin' from the current leegue champions!

Yedlin iz a doubt, but Sean Longstaff retorns after suspension.
Both Lascelles and Ritchie are still recoverin' from injury and will miss oot!

Meeenwhile tooneet, wor U23s are in action at Glanford Park in Scunthorpe at '7:00 bells' in The Premyaa Leegue Cup---a potential new groond for new NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!
Of course 'veteran hoppers' like me have been here before in Championship games and will give it a miss!

More news for AALL groundhoppers iz that wor U23s game at Dagenham against West Ham haz been moved to Rush Green Stadium in Romford on Munday December 16th with a 'high noon bells' kick off!----More on this later, when we find oot more details!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday on both the U23s game at Scunthorpe and of course wor vital game against Man City at SJP
Az per usual "Watch this space!"

WE JUST COULDN'T HELP WORSELS!

Posted '11:20am bells' Wedinzday 27th November 2019

GONE FOR A BURTON!

"DID YOO ENJOY BURTON, crambo??

When NUFC were relegated to The Championship in 2016 and the SMBs stayed up, 'duck egg' sundlind fan steve cram, just couldn't resist a dig at Toon fan Brendon Foster, when he famously said to him, "ENJOY BURTON!", in reference to the fact that we would be playin them in The Championship!
Well steve, NUFC DID enjoy it az we beat them home and away the followin season!

Fast track to 2 season ago and little Burton actually relegated the mackems to the 3rd tier of Inglish futbaall with a 2-1 win at the Stadium of "Sshhh! Yee Naa Wot!"

And then last neet they won again with anothaa 2-1 victory to send the SMBs into meltdown az they plunged to their lowest ever leegue position in their history---11th in Leegue One!

In othaa words, WE enjoyed Burton, but yoo certainleee DIDN'T!

"THOSE WHO LAFF LAST, LAFF LONGEST!"
😄😂🤪

HAZBEENZ & VILLANS 2 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '10:30am bells' Tuesday 26th November 2019 on the train back from Bormingham!
Updated '4:36pm bells' Munday

                          Jonjo Shevey takes a corner az a Toon fan in front of us strips off!

"I DON'T LIKE MUNDAYS!"😞

Wor 15th successive Munday away game (thats reet  FIFTEENTH!) didn't start or end well az we put in a negative performance against a Villa team who sat 4 points behind us before the game (now 1)

This dire performance? iz on par with wor games at Norwich (1-3) and Lestaa (0-5) az wor forward trio which cost £78 million in total failed miserably and hardly tested the home keeper!

2 set pieces cost us in first half as both needlessly given away free kicks from just ootside the box foond the back, of the net, one direct and the other from a cross!

Honestly, it woz pathetic display from the black n whites!
To sum up, both £40 million man Joelinton and £21 million man Almiron were substituted in the 2nd half, with Andy Carroll and Dwight Gayle comin' on in a desperate bid to score a goal!

It didn't happen and so we must dust worsels doon and try again on Saturday when we are at home to current champions Man City!

Neeboďy gives us much hope in 'that one', but this IZ NUFC and anything can happen!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Willems, Dummett (Carroll 63), Fernandez, Hayden, Clark, Shelvey, Almiron (Atsu 79), Saint-Maximin, Joelinton (Gayle 72)

Attendance:41,879 (just under 3,000 tortured Toon fans!)

Pub crawl pix

Pink Lane in Toon
(Rafferty's before train to Bormingham)

Figure of 8
 Bormingham

The Wellington

Bormingham

Inside 'The Welly'

The Soloman Cutler 

Bormingham

*A TalkSport commentator sums it up when taking aboot Almiron:
"He couldn't be dangerous with an open razor!"😳

Footnote: There seems to be some confusion az to just how many Munday away games NUFC have played in a row.
nufc.com says 14, while The Geordie Times says 15.
We have in fact played 14 away for live telly and 1 which wasnt televised v West Brom in 2015

The full list of Munday away games in a row iz!---
1 December 2012 Fulim away lost 1-0  on tv
2 August 2013 Man City away lost 4-0 on tv
3 September 2013 Evaatin away lost 3-2 on tv
4 April 2014 The Arse away lost 3-0 on tv
5 September 2014 Stoke away lost 1-0 on tv
6 April 2015 The Liverbirds away lost 2-0 on tv
7 September 2015 West Ham away lost 2-0 on tv
8 December 2015 West Brom away lost 1-0  NOT on tv
9 March 2016 Lestaa away lost 1-0 on tv
10 October 2017 Bornley away lost 1-0 on tv
11 April 2018 Evaatin away lost 1-0 on tv
12 November 2018 Bornley away WON 2-1 on tv
13 February 2019 Wolves away DREW 1-1 on tv
14 April 2019 The Arse away lost 2-0 on tv
15 November 2019 Villa away lost 2-0 on tv

That's 15 Munday away games in a row, where we have won ONE, drawn ONE and lost THORTEEN!---and have scored just FOUR goals and conceded TWENTY SEVEN goals!
Iz it any wonder that we divvint like Munday away days! 

THE HAZBEENZ AND VILLANS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET!

Posted '11:22am bells' Sunday 24th November 2019

We heed for the delights of Bormingham tomorrow in search of wor 3rd win on the bounce against a Villa team who are 4 points below us in the leegue table and 1 point above the drop zone!

Villa Park is one of wor lucky groonds az we have won there 8 times in the Premyaa Leegue era!

Of course we divvint reely like The Hazbeenz and Villans after they mocked us twice az we were relegated to the Championship in 2009 and 2016 with banners saying 'SOB ON THE TYNE' and, 'WHO'S YOUR NEXT MESSIAH, ANT OR DEC?'

So Villa Park has a love, hate relationship az far az Toon fans are concerned!

Both Schar and Lejeune are in contention to start, but Ritchie iz still crocked!
Clark is also a doubt!

NUFC have sold wor full allocation of 3,000 tickets for the game!  (We have also sold oot at forthcoming games at Sheff U, Bornley and Moan U)

A full Geordie Times match and pub crawl report will appear here sometime on Tuesday