Sunday, 17 October 2021

THE TOON v SPORZ **** FREEDOM DAY!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 17th October 2021



"WE'RE RICH BEYOND WOR WILDEST DREAMS!"

Today iz the day that aall NUFC fans have been dreamin' aboot!

New very (very!) rich owners and NEE 'Fat Controller' anymore!

The atmosphere iz sure to be electric and we can anly hope that we can get wor forst win of the season, az Brucey---somehow---takes charge of hiz 1,000 game az a manager (97th with The Toon!)

'Wor Flags' are back az well, havin boycotted flag displays until 'yee naa who' departed!

A new giant flag made in Cologne in Jawmany will be on display in 'The Gallowgate End' and we cannit wait to see wots on it!

Happy days are here again after 5,000 plus days of misery, under 'The Fat Controller's disastrous reign!

A full Geordie Times match report and pix will appear here sometime on Munday!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

*



Friday, 15 October 2021

WOT A DIFFERENCE FIVE WEEKS MAKES!

 Posted '2:52pm bells' Friday 15th October 2021



Just 5 weeks ago we played Moan U at The Theatre of Muppets with Ronaldo makin a hero's retorn to Manchester!

If ever there woz a game that aa DIDN'T want to gan tee, this woz it!

Aa dreaded it az aa felt for certain we would lose again!---and of course that's exactly wot happened in wor 4-1 defeat, and it woz a sombre mood az we retorned to Tyneside!

Now just 5 weeks later a'm on cloud 9 and cannit wait for wor game v Sporz on Sunday to welcome wor new very rich owners to SJP!

The richest club in the world!---Yi'd better believe it!

BRUCEY PRESSER AT '1:30 bells' TODAY! (Now 2:15)

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Friday 15th October 2021


Steve Bruce takes hiz predicted final press conference in one and a half hours time and 'The Geordie Times', alang with aall Toon fans will be watchin' intently from '1:30 bells' onwards (now '2:15 bells') to see wot he haz to say aboot hiz situation at NUFC!

Rumour haz it that he haz been offered 70% of hiz contract 'to walk', but he reportadly iz hangin' on for the full £8 million he iz entitled tee!

A ridiculous amoont for a man, who at best iz a 'run of the mill' Championship manager!  7 wins in wor last 37 games and NEE wins in 8 attempts so far this season, sez it aall!  

96 games in charge of NUFC:  Won 28, drawn 28, lost 40  Win percentage 29.2% given him a points rate of 1.166 per game (999 games in total with hiz numerous clubs and NEE major trophys!)

Just why 'The Fat Controller' gave him such a lucrative rollin contract to a less than average manager, iz shear stupidity and very hard to fathom?

The PIF could aalways put him on 'gardenin leave' to see oot hiz contract, which would cost them (and him) much less money!

By 'gardenin leave' we mean tendin' to a cabbage patch on an allotment, somewhere! 

WE will bring yoo news of this az soon az the presser iz ower!

So "Watch this space!" in 3 hours time to find oot wot he haz said! 


Updated '1:30 bells'

                          πŸ₯Ά

Updated '2:25pm bells'

95% of Toon fans divvint want Brucey but he iz in charge for the Sporz game and we MUST back the team and NOT focus on him!
He said in hiz presser that nee discussions have been had aboot hiz future when Amanda met him on Munday!
Things could aall change of course after hiz thooosandth game on Sunday!
Like aa say, we must back the team and hope that the electric atmosphere can spur (sic!) US on! 

Updated much later
 


Brucey sticks the πŸ”ͺinto the press for darin to predict that he woz gettin the sack on Munday!
However!, we feel that it won't be lang before their predictions come true!


PS: Dont 'fink' wor new owners will be impressed with Brucey's rant, somehow!

Thursday, 14 October 2021

DOUBLE HEADER DELIGHT!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 15th October 2021


Wor Under 23 squad have played 2 games in 3 days at Blue Flames, Benton, winnin both of them!

Firstly, on Munday we won 4-0 v Bormingham City U23s in the Premyaa Leegue Cup, with goals from Westendorf in the 8th minute, Anderson in the 63rd and 90th minute (pen) and Stephenson in between Anderson's goals in the 70th minute!


Attendance: 304 


Then last neet we beat Newcasil Benfeeeld 3-1 in The Northumberland Senior Cup!


 Goals from Flaherty in the 47th and 72nd minute (pen), with Westendorf scorin in the 79th minute. Benfeeeld goal woz scored by Walker in the 50th minute.


Attendance: 521

Wednesday, 13 October 2021

SOUR πŸ‡!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 13th October 2021


News reaches The Geordie Times that Amanda iz waitin for the green light from the PIF to sack Brucey!

Meeenwhile!  The other so caalled 'big six' are up in arms aboot wor takeower, az they are frightened it will dent their Champions Leegue hopes in the near future! ("Aaaaarrrrr!")



ie: They are runnin scared for certain!

Any news on Brucey will be forthcomin very soon we hope?   Az per usual, "Watch this space for any developments!"




*

Monday, 11 October 2021

"YOR GETTIN' SACKED IN THE MORNIN'!"

 Posted '9:42am bells' Munday 11th October 2021

Updated Tuesday



News that Amanda iz due to meet Brucey for the forst time this morning haz been reported in wor 'little sister' paper The Times of London!

He iz expected to be told that hiz services will nee langer be required and he will then get hiz 4 million 'pay off', for abject failure! (Nee wins in 8 this season and just 7 wins in wor last 37 games!)

Graeme Jones iz expected to take the reigns until a replacement manager iz appointed!

Aboot 10 names have been mentioned so far, but not Arsene Wenger who would be 'The Geordie Times'z choice!

7 FA Cup wins and 3 Premyaa Leegue titles in 20 years at 'The Arse' makes impressive reading!

Az per usual "Watch this space for forthaa developments!" 

Updated Tuesday: 

There iz nee news yet az to wethaa wor beleaguered heed coach haz been peddled!---Nee doubt we will hear sommik in the next few days!


Sunday, 10 October 2021

NUFC CAN SPEND OWER £200 MILLION ON PLAYERS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 10th October 2021

SOMEWHERE NEAR LEAZES PARK LAKE!

The Geordie Times 'little sister' paper The Sunday Times haz printed an excellent article today aboot just how much NUFCs new owners can spend in the transfor window in January, under the financial fair play rules!  

And it's a whoppin 205 MILLION QUID!

To be honest the takeower iz now sinkin in and much happier days are aheed for the lang sufferin Toon fans!



NUFC--The Richest futbaall club in the world iz ready to take off!πŸ€ͺπŸ‘πŸš€


Saturday, 9 October 2021

351 seagrave training ground, seagrave (v leicester u18s)

 Ground Number 351

Date of First Visit: 8th October 2021

Seagrave Training Ground, Seagrave (Pitch 2)


Leicester City U18s  3

The Richest Club in the World U18s  1 


FA Premier League Cup

Attendance: 100ish, includin' 4 'extreme' NUFC mad-sad  groundhoppers!

Plus 3 Sky Divers owerheed!



"AFTER THE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW!"

The day after wor unbelievable takeower by the PIF, when we became the richest futbaall club in the world, we were off to deepest Leicestershire to watch wor U18s in action!

The 4 'extreme saddos' who travelled doon were 'Biffa the Beer', 'Glennn from Ashington', 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' and not so 'little old me'!

This iz extreme groundhoppin' for certain, a roond trip of ower 360 miles to watch a game on a field in the middle of nee where!

Or in this case a field in a fantastic state of the art trainin' complex with numerous floodlit pitches, and an indoor pitch, exactly the same size az Lestaa'z King Power Stadium pitch !  

(With 'The Fat Controller' in charge, we could anly dream of trainin' facilities like this!---But now with PIF in charge, this 'dream' can become reality!)

We got there orly in mee 'canny tranny', despite bein' stuck in a traffic jam on A1 near Newark for nearly an hour because of an accident!

There woz indeed time for a quick 'gargel' at a nearby village caalled Barrow on Soar in 'The Three Crowns' boozer---the anly one we could find open for miles!

"SANCTUARY!"

It woz soon time to heed for the complex and the forst thing we looked for woz an ambulance---NOT because one of us had taken ill, but because wor U18s game v Lestaa U18s had to be cancelled last month because nee ambulance had torned up! (Compulsary for an U18s game to gan aheed!)

Thankfully, there WOZ one present az we arrived in the car park and so the game, this time, could indeed, be played!

"GAME ON!"

Before the match aa bumped into an old school friend caalled Micky, who aa went to school with from the age of 5-- and he told me that 2 of hiz grandkids were playin for The Toon, namely wor number 8 Jamie Miley and hiz bruvva Lewis Miley who wore the number 10 shirt!



The game kicked off under the floodlights and straight away the Toon's youngins went for goal, az we attacked the (wait for it)--- 'The Emergency Ambulance End' (where the ambulance woz parked!)

SPOT THE AMBULANCE!?

Despite havin most of the play, we were unable to make the breakthrough and we went in goal-less at the break!

Against the run of play the home side took the lead in the 54th minute when a Javid shot woz deflected past Banda in the toon goal

Their lead woz doubled just 3 minutes later when Cover finished from 5 yards oot!

A few moments later and in the distance above the indoor pitch at the end we were attackin', 3 sky divers were performin' stunts in their parachutes az we watched on!


SPOT THE SKY DIVERS!?

At this point we equalised through wor number 9 Michael Ndiweni, who lashed the baall into the net from 10 yards oot at the now renamed (wait for it!)  'Parachute Sky Divers End'!

A VIEW TO DIE FOR!---THE FANTASTIC INDOOR TRAININ' PITCH
THE SKY'S THE LIMIT FOR NUFC NOW!

We had more chances to equalise through Lewis Miley, but alas it wornt to be, az Lestaa scored just before the end when Butterfill fired in their 3rd goal to end wor interest in the competition!



Put simply, wor youngins didnt desorve to lose this game, but goals mean prizes and progression to the next roond! 







PS: In answer to a Geordie Times reader, spectators were admitted withoot any checks.



Friday, 8 October 2021

WOR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!

 Posted '1:00am bells' Friday 8th October 2021πŸ™



Yesterday woz a momentous day in NUFCs history!

The day we became the richest club in the world when the PIF took control!




The day we got rid of 'The Fat Controller' and hiz minnion 'Penfold' after 14 years of abject misery and 2 relegations!






The day we got wor club back!



Thursday, 7 October 2021

"WOT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES!"

 Posted '3:22am bells' Thorzday 7th October 2021

SKY SPORTS NEWS '3:02 AM BELLS' THORZDAY, MAIN STORY

The 6th of October 2021 iz a day that aall NUFC fans will NOT forget, for this woz the day we were told that the Saudi takeower would finally happen!----This news came completely out of the blue to me, az a drove mee truck doon the M1---A  break stop at Woolley Edge sorvices showed that aa had at least 10 Whatsapp messages on mee phone, tellin' me that the takeower woz nearly done and dusted!

Just wot today will bring iz mind bogglin' and at last (hopefully!) we will have wor club back at last!πŸ™

Much more will nee doubt be revealed later on, but for now a'm off to beddy byes for a much needed kip!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"  "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"

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