Ground number 379 (380 inc Motspur Park from outside)
128th competitive European game in a row
Date of First Visit: 18th February 2026
Tofig Bahramov Republican Stadium, (Also known as The Russian Linesman Stadium) Baku, Azerbaijan
Qarabag FK 1
Newcastle United 6
Champions League play off 1st Leg
Attendance: 28,861 (1,998 Toon fans officially--some estimates say 2,500-and some say 1,500 az 300 tickets wernt collected! (And at least 9 who travelled withoot visas to get into Azerbaijan, who were refused entry for certain!) (Read on!) ⬇️
"GORDON BAGS FOWER IN CARRIER BAG ROUT!"
(That's 6,000 miles for one of hiz smiles!)
SJP iz 2,516 miles from Baku, makin it the longest ever jorney in European cups futbaall---But we had to dee it via England, Scotland, Istanbul and Azerbaijan, which totalled a staggerin 6,000 miles roond trip for 3 of us, the 2 other 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' bein Big Al (NOT the sheet-metal workers son!) and Sarnie Steve (who aalways carries a bag of sarnies to keep him gannin for 3 days!)
The jorney to 'The Baku beyond' (sic!) went like this! (deep breath) Munday mornin 9:30 bells: Wor hoose to The Central, (2 miles), train to Edinburgh and tram to Edinburgh airport, (120 miles), Edinburgh to Istanbul, (1,780 miles), Istanbul to Baku (1,100 miles ), then bus to city centre and Metro to Elmar Akademiyasi station (20 miles estimated), where the hotel Macure Baku woz near---THEN like lost sheep we waalked in the opposide direction from the Metro station and then roond in ever decreasin circles, before eventualy findin the hotel (2 miles walk!) (thank you Google maps!) arrivin at 8:30 am bells' on the outskirts of Baku, on Tuezday mornin (Azerbaijan time iz 4 hours aheed of UK time), so thats 19 hours to get from wor hoose to wor hotel!) Total estimated miles travelled = 3,024 miles! (Aye! we Googled the distances!)
Az soon az we checked in, we 'crashed oot' in wor room and got up 5 hours later to 'gan on the hoy' in the centre of Baku! (The 3 neet stay cost us £40 in their money and the room had a kitchen and fridge freezer and dressin gowns and slippers in the wardrobe!--For less than £14 a neet! (However the flights WERE dead expensive to compound that!)
A days drinkin and sight seein in the various bars woz then undertaken!--The streets were completlee litter free and there woz nee graffiti to be seen anywhere!---And there were loads of crazy, odd shaped buildings---There were aalso loads on 'dibbles and army personel in uniforms, which makes the place az safe az hooses!
Aalso the shops were sellin the likes of dress shoes and jewellelry displayed on stalls on the paths, which makes this a 'very high trustin society'!---ie: Nick anything here and you'd be hoyed into the nearest 'goolag' for 6 years! (It used to be part of Russia) Can you imagine this in the UK? --Not a chance in wor 'very low trust society'!--They'd be gone in a flash, within 5 minutes!
The booze price averaged aboot 3 to 6 'Manats' a pint (A manat iz aboot 40p) so thats between £1:20 to £2:40 a pint!) and the scran woz 'cheap az chips' az well!
(For a list of bars visited gan to article: 'BAKU PUB CRAWL 2026)
Next day woz match day, but the game didnt kick of til '9:45pm bells (5:45 UK time) givin Toon fans loads of time to get 'tanked up' and totally p*ssed!
The last bar we visited before the match had bottles of gin, rum and vodka on shelves in the bar area, where you could easly nick one if you wanted! But the 'goolag' awaits for anybody you dares to dee that! (Nee Toon fans did!) ⬇️
And so 'it came to pass' that when we got to the groond there were loads of fans who could hardly stand up!
We were housed in a section behind the goal, with a runnin track in front of us, which made it a lang way from the far goal!
Beleeeve it or not stadium iz named after the Russian linesman who ran the line in the World Cup final in 1966!--He's famous for givin the 3rd England goal to Geoff Hurst, who's shot had hit the bar ---and the baall woz deemed to have crossed the goal line when it boonced doon! (Azebaijan woz in Russia in 1966 and the linesman woz born in Baku!)
Every inch of the perimiter woz covered by the army (in hi viz jackets) and the local 'dibble' in front and if anybody dared to try and invade the pitch would by frogmarched off to the 'goolag', sharpish!— They stood lookin at the crowd for the entire game and didn’t torn roond once to see the action on the pitch!⬇️
For the thord game in a row NUFC wore wor green away kit and it didnt take lang to make it 3 away wins in a row:
The goal sequences were az follows:
2nd minute: Kickin towards the far goal we took the lead in the 2nd minute when Dan Burn threaded a baall through to Anthony Gordon, who finished nicely with a shot into the corner of the goal! 1-0 to us
8th minute: Kieran Trippier crosses and Malik Thiaw sends a powerful heeder past their goalie to double wor lead! 2-0 to us
32nd minute: Harvey Barnes shoots towards goal and iz handled by Silva inside the box! VAR sends the ref to the pitch side monitor and after a lang look he points to the penalty spot!
Anthony Gordon takes the kick and put the baall to the right of keeper Kichalski who gets a touch, but iz unable to stop the baall hitting the back of the net! 3-0 to us!
33rd minute: Within the ‘blink of an eye 👁️ Gordon got hiz hat-trick when he rounded their keeper after a defensive erraa! 4-0 to us!
45th +1minute: Their goalie brings Gordon doon and wor number 10 hits the baall into the net again to give us a remarkable 5-0 advantage—-2 ‘fans’? in front of me decide to gan for a pint BEFORE Gordon takes the penalty and they miss the goal— Unreal!—especially az the beer iz alcohol FREE!—-The ref then blows for half time!
A totally one sided half in which Kichalski their keeper made several great saves, or else it would have been 10-0 by the break!
54th minute: Cafarquliyev (hope av spelt that reet? 🤔) pulls one back for the home side, from a tight angle! 5-1 to us!
72nd minute: Jacob Murphy puts ‘the icing on the cake’ with a lang range shot that deflects off a Qarabag defender, leaving their goalie stranded!
We had more chances to increase wor lead but the heroics of Kichalski denide us addin any more!
FULL TIME! Carrier Bag 1 The Toon 6
The player come ower to thank the faithful at the final whistle, who are in jubilant mood! ⬇️
After the match we heeded for the nearest Metro station but were ‘accosted’ by some taxi drivers! We were warned to get a price before hopping into a cab and were very wary!
We asked one for a price back to wor hotel and agreed 50 Manats to be paid by card, az we didn’t have much of the local currency left!
10 minutes into the jorney he said he wanted CASH instead! We said that he agreed with a card payment—- but he insisted on cash!
We rummaged aboot in wor pockets and had 46 Manats between us and told him that!
“I want 50!” he insisted
But we havvint got 50–anly 46!”
We gave him what we had and he followed us into the hotel—still demanding the other 4 manats!— We were gettin sick of this and so Big Al asked him if he would take Euros, which he had on him!
“Yes!” he said and Al gave him 10 Euros to get rid of him! “Now fcuk off!” Al said
He said he would take us to the airport next mornin and I said “OK pick us up at 7 o clock!” And he nodded!
Hope he did come back at 7 bells 🔔 az we’d aalready booked a taxi for 4am 🔔 bells to take us there to catch wor early flight to Istanbul!
Nee one takes the p*ss out of us!
We went back the same way we came!
2 gruelling fights of 3 hours and 4 hours back to Edinburgh! Then the tram, train and bus yem!
A horrendous trip, but a 6-1 win certainly made it worth while!
In total it cost us a 4 figure sum to get there and back!—-And I don’t mean £29:50p!
Groond number 379 and coontin!
PS: One Toon fan got to Istanbul on the way, but didn’t have an entry visa to travel onward to Baku!—
We hord that 8 Toon fans actually made it aall the way to Baku, but they didn’t have any visas eethaa and were denied entry!
AALL THAT WAY FOR NOTHING!🙈
WE WOZ THERE! THE PROOF!⬇️
(PIX TO FOLLOW LATER, WHERE AH GET TIME!🕰️ )
MEE VISA WHICH COST $100 DOLLARS (MEE FORST APPLICATION WOZ REJECTED, SO AH HAD TO FAST TRACK THE SECOND ONE OR ELSE AH WOULDNT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GAN!
MEE TRAVEL TICKETS
THE 2nd LARGEST FLAG POLE IN THE WORLD I WOZ TOLD BY BLONDIE ALAN THE MORRIS DANCER!
THE CASPIAN SEA
Surely the world’s 🌍 longest undergroond Metro escalator!?
TOON FANS ENJOYIN SOME SCRAN AND BOOZE!
