THE ASHINGTON PIT YAKKERS 1. DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 0 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 

Posted ‘high noon bells 🛎️ Sunday 29th April 2026

Dunston number 4 Phil Turnbull sends in a corner, with the main stand in the backgroond!

“WHERE THE FCUK’Z ‘THE CASTLE’?”

With nee Toon games coz of the 20 days International break, ah decided to get the train to Ashington on the Northumberland Line on Friday neet, for their game against Dunston! The new line iz a godsend for those who live on the route, cuttin the jorney time from The Toon to 30 minutes, whereas its an hour langer by bus!

Ah left in good time to dee a pub crawl to the Woodhorn Lane groond, which iz a half hour waalk from Ashington train station!

Forst ‘port o caall’ woz a Wetherspoons boozer called ‘The Ruhan  Kanhai', 10 minutes waalk alang Woodhorn Road!  (Named after a famous cricketer, who I’d never hord of?)

It woz canny busy inside, so ah went to the beer 🍺 garden 🪴 to consume mee ‘liquid lubrication!’⬇️

It woz them onward to ‘The Cree’ which iz just doon the road⬇️ 

——and then onward to ‘The Mighty Oak’, which had a large Union Jack displayed in the front window!⬇️

It woz a bit 'rough and ready' and a big fat gadgie came in and gave me ‘one of those dodgy looks’, az though aa had horns sticking oot of mee heed! 

Lookin at ‘Google Maps’ mee final stop before the groond woz a boozer caalled ‘The Castle’ which woz 10 minutes onwards from ‘The Oak’

It woz bitterly cold and much colder than on Tyneside 15 miles to the south, but as couldn’t find ‘The Castle’?—-  It woz supposed to be opposite a hairdressers caalled ‘Head and Nails’ according to to the map on mee telling bone’ 📱 

How can a boozer just vanish off the face of the Earth?🌍 (Or Woodhorn Road in Ashington, in this case?)

Anyway!— aa moved on to the Ashington  clubhoose, which iz caalled ‘The Colliers Bar—-and az it woz still 2 hours before kick off at ‘7:45 bells 🔔 aa was the forst customer!⬇️

A’d mentioned to the lassie on the tornstiles that aa couldn’t find ‘The Castle’ and she replied that someone had set it on fire and burnt it doon “a while back” 🔥 and that it woz totally demolished now! Nee wonder aa couldn’t find it!!!

It wozzint lang before the clubhoose filled up with both sets of fans and Dunston committee members!

The clubhoose iz above the main stand with large window owerlookin the pitch and iz much better than the ‘groond floor’ one, they had the last time I woz here a few years ago!

 On the right hand side of the stand ‘The Ashington Ultras’ were singin loudly az they banged a big drum 🥁 

A narrow covered stand on the far side of the pitch housed the 20 strong ‘Dunston Ultras’, aalso with a drum,🥁 which made for a noisy atmosphere! A very nice set up for a club of Ashington’s size!

The game started off az The Dunston Bad BLUE Boys attacked the right hand goal in their RED change strip! (Ashington played in black n white stripes!)

It woz mostly ‘The Pit Yakkers who did the attacking (Ashington’s nickname iz ‘The Colliers’ after the local mine, which closed many 🌙s ago!)

It woz 'Artcic' 🥶 by this point, with a howling wind to make it feel like minus 20 degrees! Ashington, of course,  iz nearer to the Arctic Circle than Dunston on Tyne!

Despite havin most of the play, the home team couldn’t make the breakthrough and the teams went in level at the half time interval, az ‘not so little old me’ made a mad dash back to the warmth of the clubhoose, with some local brew to cool us back doon!

Quite a few were watchin the start of the 2nd half from the clubhoose az Dunston were awarded a penalty! 

Josh Donald took it, but it woz expertly saved by Matthew Alexander in the home sides goal, who dived to hiz right, to save it!

Not lang after this az aa made mee way back to the end Dunston were attacking, but it woz the home side who scored the anly goal of the game through Ben Williams in the 56th minute!

Dunston tried in vain for an equaliser, but just couldn’t find the net! FT 1-0 to The Pit Yakkers

The crowd woz later given az an excellent 671, with aboot 50 or so Dunstoners, includin their commitee!

After the game aa cadged a lift back to Tyneside from the Dunston Co Chairman, Billy, in hiz work van!

Can you imagine the NUFC chairman Yasir Al-Rumayyan giving you a lift back from an away game in hiz jam jar???

A great photo of 3 Ashington born heroes on a staircase ---’Wor’ Jackie Milburn who won 3 FA Cup winners 🥇 🥇 🥇 medals with NUFC in the 1950s —-and his nephews Jackie and Bobby Charlton who helped England win the World Cup in 1966!

"WE WOZ THERE!"---A PRIZE DRAW TICKET WHICH AH  DIDNT WIN!  AND AN EXSTORTIONATLY PRICED £1.70p TRAIN TICKET FROM 'THE CENTRAL' TO ASHINGTON!

*Dunston Bad Blue Boys—-an explanation

NUFC played Dinamo Zagreb away in Europe many moons ago, who play in aall blue —-and their notorious Ultras are caalled The Bad Blue Boys   Dunston play in aall blue az well, so when we got back we named them after the Zagreb hoolies ! —-So now yih naa!

And finally!—-Here’s a photo ah foond with ‘The Castle’ on fire! 🔥 ⬇️

THE END!👹

DUST STORM ON TYNESIDE!

 Posted ‘12:41pm 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday 25th March 2026

A disastrous February and March haz ended for The Toon, and the fact we have been knocked oot of 3 competitions in that time and lost to wor most bitter rivals haz left us in disarray!

The dust of those defeats haz yet to settle az the storm iz still fresh in the memory!

NUFC have 7 games left to save wor season, startin after yet another 20 day International break!

Hopefully that break can help us recharge the batteries 🪫 after playin 2 games every week since last Novembaa!

We have 6 winnable games against teams aroond or below us and anly one toughie against title hopefuls The Arse in north London!

Of course, The Toon have had 3 recent winnable home games against Brentfaad, Evaatin and The SMBs and have lost the lot!

The 7 games left are:

😭stal Palace at Selhurst Park

Bourne 👄 at SJP

The Arse 🕳️s at The Emirates Stadium

Brighton☀️ at SJP

Nottingham 🌳 🌳Forest at The City Groond

West 🍖 Ham at SJP

The 🏡 Cottage 🥧 Pie Brigade at Craven Cottage

We have nee chance of qualifying for The Champions Leegue BUT there iz a chance of The Europa Leegue or The Conference Leegue!

We are SO Jekyll 😁and Hyde 👹 that anything can happen!???🤔

In the meeentime in the 20 day break The Geordie Times iz hopeful that we can get to a couple of non leegue games in the Tyneside, Northumberland and Durham area! (Weather permitting!☔️⚡️)

Az per usual, “Wwatch this space!”

THE TOON 1. THE SMBs 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells’ 🔔 Munday 23rd March 2026

“HOWE CAN EDDIE SURVIVE THIS!?”

Wot a difference a year makes!—-This time last March we were celebrating a Leegue Cup win and victory parade aroond the Toon AND were fighting for a place in The Champions Leegue—

-This time roond and we are in dispair after the 7-2 thrashing by Barcelona in The Champions Leegue and defeat to wor eternal enemies the mackems and nee hope of Champions Leegue futbaall next season, az we languish in the bottom half of The Premyaa Leegue table!

The derby game started off so well az we attacked The Leazes goal! The atmosphere woz white hot and the ‘Wor Flags’ tifo display woz brilliant!🤩 

And it didnt take lang for us to open the scorin az the SMBs time wasted from the forst whistle!

A bad mix up in their defence in the 10th minute saw Waltemade rob mackem defender O’Nein in hiz own penalty area and played a nice pass to Anthony Gordon, who struck the baall into the far corner of the goal to send the vast majority of the crowd wild and crazy!  1-0 to us!

More great chances followed when Anthony Elanga hit the side netting and Sven Botman heeded into the goal frame from a Lewis Hall cross!

The SMBs had chances at the other end az well, but finexstops from Aaron Ramsdale in The Toon goal thwarted them! 

HT 1-0 to us!

Just like in Barcelona last Wedinzday, we sat back and paid the ultimate price!

NUFC were at sixes and sevens az they went for the equaliser! It came in the 57th minute when Ramsdale made a weak punch from a cross and the baall fell nicely toTaibi who fired in from close range! 1-1

We thought we’d retook the lead not lang after this when Malik Thaiw heeded the baall into the goal from close in at The Gallowgate End!—BUT! az we celebrated the ref said ‘hold on’ for a dreaded VAR check, which ruled that Jacob Murphy had committed a foul and the goal woz chalked off!

The mackems then realised, rather than waste time and settle for a draw, they ‘went for it’ and had several chances to take the lead through wor fragile defence! 

In other words they ‘wanted it’ more than us!

It finally happened in the last minute of normal time, when Bronbbey forced the baall ower the line from a close in scramble to break wor hearts! 💔 

7 minutes off stoppage time followed (mainly for an injury to Botman, who woz forced off orlier!) but we couldn’t find an equaliser! 2-1 to them to complete a very miserable week for anyone of black n white persuasion!

Wor season iz effectively ower, havin been knocked of 3 competitions in 6 weeks az well!

Just how(e) Eddie can survive this, anly the PIF can answer!

Attendance: 52, 253 (2,528 SMBs)

*

“IF ANLY WOR PLAYERS HAD PUT IN THE SAME EFFORT IN, AZ ‘WOR FLAGS’ DID WITH THIS FANTASTIC DISPLAY!”

"WHERE WAS 'YOUR' GREAT GREAT GRANDFAATHAA ON GOOD FRIDAY 1901!??? *** 125th ANNIVERSARY! *** NUFC v safc

Re-posted 'high noon bells'  Saturday 21st March 2026

FROM THE 'RONNY-GILL' ARCHIVES (Copyright? wot does that meeen?)

THE OLD POPULAR SIDE *** LEAZES TERRACE IZ IN THE BACKGROOND

Much had been written aboot wor derby at SJP against the mackems on Sunday at 'high noon bells'!
But did yi naa that a major riot, 125 YEARS AGO, on Good Friday 1901 @ St James' Park, prevented THAT derby match gannin aheed aaltogether!?

Extracts below are from: 'The Football Grounds of Great Britain'

"Some 35,000 squeezed into St James' Park with as many more outside, desperate to gain entry. Fences were trampled down and before long the pitch became a battleground between rival fans!"

'Athletic News' reported that: "The club flag was torn from it's staff and riven into shreds, the goal nets at one end shard like a fate!" It added: "We are delighted to hear that the cross-bar in falling fetched one or two of the rioters a reverberating 'sock' on the headache department!"

SOMEWHERE ON GALLOWGATE---GOOD FRIDAY 1901
"GRANMAR!--IZ THAT MEE GREAT GREAT GRANDAAA
HAADIN HIZ LEG?"

 

The match never started , and it took until 5 o' clock for the police to clear the pitch, which resembled a ploughed field by this time!---And there were riots aroond the groond in the aftermath, az fightin' fans spilled oot onto the streets!

Nine people were sent to hospital, including one Newcastle fan, who was SO drunk he fell oot of the grandstand which nearly collapsed!!!---and in the aftermath, a sund'lind supporter, who was beaten up by half crazed rival fans, sued Newcastle for his money back!
He lost the case and had to pay expenses of £70! (a considerable sum in 1901!) It wasn't until a riot occurred at Goodison Park a few years later that clubs began posting up signs warning that 'in NO circumstances' 'would money be refunded'!

"AAH!---THE GOOD OLD DAYS!" 

Anyway! Fast forward 125 years to March 22nd 2026!

Sandro Tonali iz doubful, but not ruled oot after bein forced off at Barcelona on Wedinzday!

Bruno, Lewis Miley and Fab Schar are still ruled oot, but Emil Krafth's season iz ower!

Steady Eddie must somehow pick the players up after wor disastrous result at Camp Nou!---Whether he can iz another matter!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Munday!----Lets hope (and pray!) that its a good one!

Ground number 166 revisited, Camp Nou, Barcelona, Spain

Ground number 166 revisited (1st visited 1997)

(131st competitive European game in a row and heaviest defeat!)

Date of Visit: 18th March 2026

FC Barcelona 7

Newcastle United 2

Champions League round of 16, 2nd leg

Barcelona win 8-2 on aggregate

Spotify Camp Nou, Barcelona, Spain

Attendance: 56,662 (2,986 shell shocked Toon fans) We heard that 60 or so got in through a corperate gate which woz mistaykenlee left open!

"WELCOME TO 'L' !"👹 ⬆️

It iz with a very heavy heart that The Geordie Times writes this artice after the heaviest defeat in NUFCs European history, stretchin back 58 years to 1968!

 The Camp Nou, iz a vertual buildin site, az they put the final layer on the 4th tier of the stadium, with tower cranes everywhere! The capaciy for this game woz set at 65,000 and when its completed it will hold a staggerin 105,000!⬇️ (Twice the size of SJP!) “REACH FOR THE SKY!”⬇️

*It didnt take Barca lang to take the lead az they attacked the far goal from where we were housed!  Both Malik Thaiw and Lewis Hall were at fault, when Raphinha fired past Aaron Ramsey in wor goal, after just 5 minutes play! 1-0 to them!

We fought back however, when Harvey Barnes crossed for Anthony Elanga to hit a sweet shot past Garcia in the Catalans goal in the 15th minute! 1-1

More shockin defendin from us saw Barca retake the lead in the 18th minute, az we still celebrated Elanga's goal, when Dan Burn missed a cross--and Martin heeded the baall doon for Bernal, who finished from close range! 2-1 to them!

Again we fought back and equalised for the second time when Harvey Barnes again supplied Anthony Elanga, who hit a fiece shot into the goal in the 28th minute! 2-2 

Elanga woz then denied a clear cut penalty az the ref inexplicably waved 'play on', after he woz fouled in the box!

However, 5 minutes into forst half stoppage time, Kieran Trippier needlessly pulled Raphina's shirt —and after a VAR check by the French ref, he pointed to the spot!---Yamal took it and Aaron Ramsey woz unlucky not to stop the baall enterin the net! HT 3-2 to them! (Nee justice!)

The 2nd half woz the stuff of nightmares, when FOUR more bad defensive misstayks, saw us faall apart!

Forstly, Raphina waaked through wor defence like it didnt exist, to set up Firmin for an easy chance to increase their lead in the 50th minute of the game! 4-2 to them!

Sandro Tonali then went doon, with what looked like a groin injury and we fear he will miss the Tyne-wear deby match on Sunday! (Thats aall we need!)

It then went from bad to worse when they added a 5th in the 55th minute Lewandowski heeded past Ramsdale, who really should have done better, az the baall entered the corner of the goal! 5-2 to them!

Number 6 came from Lewandowski again, just 5 minutes after hiz forst goal, when he easily evaded Malik Thaiw to score, with the goal gaping! 6-2 to them!

The final nail in wor coffin came after a disastrous kick from Aaron Ramsdale went straight to Raphina inside the penalty area and he must have thought it woz Christmas again, az he simply fired the baall straight into the net, to complete the rout in the 72nd minute, az Ramsdale and the rest of the team looked shattered and distraught!

7-2 to them!!!  The near 3,000 Toon Travellers were in section 'L' of the stadium ("Welcome to 'L'!" perhaps!) and looked shattered and distraught az well, believe you me, az we prayed that wor calamatous defendin would'nt concede an 8th, or even a 9th goal!---

Thankfully wor prayers were answered on the THAT SCORE, ANYWAY! az the ref mercifully blew hiz whistle bang on the 90 minute mark, with not one second of stoppage time added, when there should have been at least 5 minutes added, due to Sandro Tonali's injury and 7 or so substitutions from both sides in the 2nd period! (30 seconds per sub are the rules!)e

Summery: Withoot doubt this woz the worst ever rearguard display from an NUFC team, az EVERY goal conceded were from horrendous missstaykes!😱

Just HOW Eddie HOWE can lift the team for Sunday's derby, iz anybodys guess???---Will we get a Mr Hyde performance again, OR a Dr. Jekyll, one????

(Match report updated periodically and should be completed by Friday afternooon---so keep loggin in for updates and match pix)

 BOOZER CRAWL PIX *** 

17 VISITED IN TOTAL ON THE WAY TO BARCELONA AND ON THE WAY BACK  Running total 151 (Molina 150)

TOON AIRPORT⬇️ LIQUID LUBRICATION LOCATION ONE

BARCELONA⬇️LIQUID LUBRICATION LOCATION TWO

LIQUID LUBRICATION LOCATION (LLL) THREE⬇️

LLL FOWER (4)⬇️

LLL FIVE⬇️

LLL six NOT!—NAMED AND SHAMED!

They didn’t want us in the bar and so we left!— Their loss not wors!⬇️

LLL SIX They DID welcome us with open arms! ⬇️

LLL SEVEN⬇️

LLL EIGHT⬇️

LLL NINE!⬇️

LLL TEN⬇️Mercure hotel bar

LLL ELEVEN⬇️

LLL TWELVE⬇️

LLL THORTEEN (13)⬇️

LLL FOWERTEEN (14) ⬇️

LLL FIFTEEN⬇️

LLL SIXTEEN ——AFTER THE MATCH! ⬇️😱

DROWNING WOR ⬆️SORROWS IN THE ABOVE BOOZER!  THE PICTURE ON THE WALL SEZ IT AALL!⬇️

AND FINALLY! LLL SEVENTEEN AT BARCELONA AIRPORT⬇️🛫

SPOT THE BUILDING WORK

BARCELONA METRO MAP

Posted on Tuezday⬇️

This iz the biggest European game in wor history--and to progress further than we have ever been, to the Champions Leegue Roond of 8, we MUST beat The Catalan Giants in their own stadium!

Barca, of course will be favourites to gan through after snatchin a last gasp penalty to cancel oot Harvey Barnes goal in the 85th minute, last week!

Az we write ✍️ this on the day before the match, we just divvint naa wot the squad for this game will be?---But hopefully its a strong one!

There won't be a match report til we get back to Tyneside, so it will probably be online sometime between 'high noon bells' on Friday OR later on that day!

In the meeentime we will endevour to post az many boozer pictures az possible, az we dee then, provided we can get a good internet connection!?---With 10,000 Toon fans predicted to travel, most of them will have to be content on watchin on from one of the many boozers in The Ramblas area in the centre of Barcelona! 

We understand that we have received just under 3,000 tickets for the away section!----In a revised capacity of ower 62,000 durin rebuildin work at Camp Nou ----and when its finally completed it will hold a mind bogglin 105,000!

We've got a great chance of gannin where, "No Toon team have gone before!" (The last 8 in The Champions Leegue) 

"HOWAY THE LADS!"