FA CUP 3rd ROOND DRAW TOONEET!

 Posted ‘5:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 2nd Decembaa 2024

NUFC ARE BAALL NUMBER 26

The FA Cup 3rd roond draw iz live on BBC 2 from ‘7:00 🔔s’onwards tooneet!

Salford, Bromley and Bristol Rovers are the anly groonds ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ have never seen us play on, who are left in the FA Cup after the 2nd roond results!

(Although we have been to 2 former home groonds for Bristol Rovers)

Oot of the other 63 teams left in the competition, we have been to 60 of those groonds!

Wot we want iz a home draw pleeze! OR one of the above 3, away!

Wot we divvint want iz an away draw at The Stadium of “Sshhh!”-yee naa wot, or a lang distance away game at the likes of Exeter City!

The Geordie Times will bring yoo news of wor fate, az soon az we find oot!⬇️

Updated ‘7:25pm 🔔s

*IT’S LEEGUE 2 BROMLEY AT SJP

THE PALLISS 1. THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ Sunday 1st Decembaa 2024

“A (VERY)BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE!”

“A ROOM WITHOOT A VIEW!” *** THE MAIN STAND OPPOSITE WOZ BUILT IN 1924 AND IZ OWER 100 YEARS OLD!” (WOT A 💩 GROOND!)

The day started off at ‘5:30 🛎️s when aa dragged mee lifeless body oot of bed to catch the bus to The Central for the ‘7:30 bells’ train to ST NEOTS!   King’s Cross woz closed in London, so we had to get the train to there, a bus to Beford and then anothaa train to south London!

A reet carry on and we didn’t get there til ‘1:00 bells’ in the afternoon, exhausted and nackered! (And the same jorney back after the game!)

This woz one of the worst Toon performances in a very lang time!

The first half woz abysmal from both sides az we both kept losin possession time and time again!

ABYSMAL VIEW SEAT *** ROW 26, SEAT 63!        AND I’ M 6 FEET TAALL! ( I WISH JOELINTON WOULD GET OOT OF THE WAY!🥶)

(The Toon played in aall white)

In total we had ZERO shots on goal but scored one, through an own goal by Toon target Guehi in the  53rd minute, when he put the baall into his own net after a scramble on the goal line!

Palliss pounded wor goal after this and had several chances to equalise but couldn’t find the finish az we desperately tried to keep them oot!

Deep into stoppage time though, Guehi made up for hiz own goal by supplying the cross, which  Munoz heeded home unmarked in the 95th minute!

It woz a desorved equaliser, which completely deflated the Toon fans, who were singin’ the ‘Jingle bells’ song, even though it woz still Novembaa! (“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way—-oh what fun it iz to see Newcasil win away!”) You shud NEVER ‘jump the gun’ until the final whistle!

Attendance: 25,101(3,000 very p*ssed off Toon fans!)

The jorney back woz miserable az well and I finally got yem at ‘12:30am 🔔s’! Definitely one to forget to add to the other 100s ower the years!

BOOZE REPORT!

We drank 4 cans on the train to St. Neots—- then caught the bus to Bedford— wor train to Palace from there woz cancelled!🥶

This gave us time for a quick gargel in a nearby boozer before catching the next train ⬇️

We then went aall the way to Palace and had time for just one gargel here az well, before heedin for the match!

⬇️

At full time we heeded back to the train station and caught the forst train back to Bedford!

Again we had time for a swift gargel in the same boozer ⬇️

before catching the bus back to St Neots!  4 more cans were consumed on the way back to Tyneside!

So we actually had more gargels on the trains (8) than we did in the 2 boozers we visited!(3)

THE PALLISS PIF HATERS V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘high 🔔 bells’ Friday 29th Novembaa 2024

IN 1970 SELHURST PARK STILL HAD A GRASS BANK BEHIND ONE GOAL!

The name Crystal Palace soonds az though it’s a magical mystery location, BUT! the reality iz anything but!  A 💩 groond with a 💩 fanbase who make anti PIF Saudi banners to try and annoy us! (It doesn’t work and shud we score first we’ll sing: “One-nil to the Saudi boys!”

The groond iz a tip and iz the worst in the top flight —-and when as forst visited Selhurst Park 54 years ago, it had a grass bank on the terraces at The Holmesdale Road End, it woz that primitive! (See top photo if yi divvint beleeeve iz!)

The main wooden stand iz exactly 100 years old az well! (and looks it!)

(For a match report on that game in 1970 see ground 014 Selhurst Park)

Anyway!— enough of that! The question on everybodys lips iz ‘which Toon team will torn oot tomorrow?  The one that beat The Arse 1-0 OR the one that lost 2-0 to West Ham?

Typical NUFC.  Beat the top teams but lose to the mediocre teams!

The jorney to this 💩 hole iz a nightmare az well az King’s Cross train station in London iz SHUT! That’s reet! A mainline train station shut aall weekend!?🥶

So we have to get a train to St Neots and then a bus to Bedford and then anothaa train to Selhurst!—And dee the same on the way back!—sommik iz boond to gan wrang for certain!

Not sure just how many tickets we have been allocated, but between 2,700 to 3,000 Toon fans will be there in the sold oot away end with 💩 sightlines! (I am 6foot taall but I couldn’t see the far corner flag last season!)

More on the team news when we find oot tomorrow!

APU “Watch this space!”

RIP McNAMEE! 🪦

 Posted ‘2:55pm 🔔 bells’ Thorzday 28th November 2024

Very sad news reached us that former centre half and Fairs Cup winner John McNamee haz passed away!

He woz a giant of a man and az hard az nails!

I woz at a Fairs Cup reunion in Waallsend a few years ago and at the interval he woz in front of me in the ‘beer queue’ and I got talkin to him and told him that az a school kid I saw him at SJP in the Fairs Cup!

He told me that when we played eethaa Sporting Lisbon or Vitoria Setubal (can’t remember which?) one of their players spat in his face!

He said: “I ran after him but he woz too fast—so I bided my time and when he went up to heed the ball I jumped up az well, with NO intention of getting the ball —and I stuck the nut on him and he collapsed poleaxed and spreadeagled on the pitch!”

A true story!

RIP BIG MAN 🪦 (Lost, but not forgotten!)

THE TOON 0. THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Tuezday 26th Novembaa 2024

A TRIBUTE TO ALEXANDER THE GREAT BEFORE KICK OFF!

“I DEFINITELY DON’T LIKE MUNDAYZ!”🥶

Typical of NUFC that after a great win against high flyin Arsenal, we lose to low flyin West Ham at SJP when everybody seemed to Fink that 3 points were a certainty!

I wasn’t one of them az I’ve seen so many times in the past that a great performance iz followed by a bad one!— And so it proved to be—-yet again!🥶

We started off brightly az we attacked the Gallowgate goal and made the breakthrough in the 4th minute when Isak fan through the Jellied Eels Mobs defence to chip their keeper to give us a 1-0 lead! NOT!—Az the linesman on The Milburn Stand side of the pitch raised his flag for offside!- After an unusually quick VAR check the goal woz chalked off!🥶

6 minutes later and with their forst attack wor visitors took the lead at The Leazes End when a Soucek corner foond the heed of an unmarked Emerson who effort beat The Pope in the Toon goal! 1-0 to them!

The Toon couldn’t respond to this and it remained 1-0 at the half time interval despite Isak comin' very close to equalisin' late in the half!

The 2nd half woz even worse for us az West Ham doubled their lead at The Gallowgate End in the 53rd minute when Wannissaka <(hope av sppelt that reet?) sauntered into wor box and hit a shot that went in off the far post to forthaa dampen the mood of the home faithful!

Callum Wilson then made his forst appearance of the season in the 68th minute— and within 4 minutes he woz unceremoniously fouled by Mauroponos <(where do they get their names from?) in front of goal, but the legitimate penalty claims were waved away by the ref!—It just wozzint wor day!

Soon after this some of wor fans had ‘given up’ and started to leave their seats!— By the end more than half had left the groond and I looked behind me with 5 minutes to gan to see a row of at least 10 empty seats!

Remind me?—-Who needs an 80,000 seater stadium, then?

Attendance: 52,094 includin 3,000 delighted Jellied Eels in Level 7 of The Leazes End!—An excellent away torn oot for a Munday neet!

A win would have propelled us to within a point of a Champions Leegue place, but instead we drop to 10th in the table!😵‍💫

Explanation: We say ‘Jellied Eels Mob' az jellied eels are a favourite delicacy in the east end of London, where West Ham come from!

*FA CUP 3rd Roond draw next Munday neet!

The draw takes place from '7:00 bells' on BBC2 and there are quite a few teams who's groonds we have never been tee!

A home draw of course would be preferable!

THE TOON V THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM *** MUNDAY NEET!🥶

 Posted ‘high noon bells’ Saturday 23rd Novembaa 2024

THE EAST STAND FROM LEAZES TERRACE

Inclement<(we naa aall the ‘big words’) weathaa haz hit Tyneside and most of the local non leegue games have ‘bit the dust’ through rain, snow and frozen pitches!

Az we divvint play till Munday for the live telly, I am left twiddlin mee thumbs for a Saturday ‘fix’! 

 Looks like aa’ll have to ‘gan on the hoy’ this afternooon instead!— Wot a life!🤪👍🏁🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

News that Callum Wilson cud come on at some point against West Ham iz deein the rounds!—but divvint haad yi breath! 

Botman, Lascelles and Krafth are still oot through various injuries, while Trippier cud play some part!— But again!—divvint haad yi breath! While Dan Burn 🔥 iz servin a one match ban!

On a brighter note 🎵 Alexander Isak iz lookin to score in hiz 5th successive match AND he haz score 5 against West Ham in past games for us! (Callum and Wilson haz aalso scored 5 against them!)

The kick off iz at the crap 💩 time of ‘8:00 🛎️s’ on a crap 💩 day! (I don’t like Mundayz!)

Explanation: We caall West Ham ‘The Jellied Eels Mob’ coz jellied eels iz a favourite delicacy in the east end of London!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Tuezday!

APU “Watch this space!”

THE TOON U21s v ALNWICK TOON *** TOONEET!

 Posted ‘2:28pm 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday 20th Novembaa 2024

BLUE FLAMES AKA WHITLEY PARK

Wor U21s take on Alnwick from The Northern Leegue, in the 2nd roond of The Northumberland Senior Cup at Whitley Park, Benton with a ‘7:30 🔔s’ kick off—WEATHAA PERMITTIN’!?

It’s FREE for season ticket holders to get in and £3 for big kids and £1 for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

We will let yiz naa if the game iz caalled off due to the very low temperatures!

Az per usual  “Watch this space!”

Update: ‘8:35pm 🛎️s’

The game did start and the half time score iz 1-1

The U21s took the lead through Mo Sedibeh in the 20 th minute with a low shot!

Alnwick equalised in the 37th minute with ‘Mystery Man’ gettin their goal!

57th minute: Sedibeh doubles hiz tally with a fine effort to restore wor lead! 2-1 to us

60th minute: Alfie Harrison extends wor lead with a well placed shot!

3-1 to us

70th minute: Josh Donaldson makes it 4 to rap up the tie and propel us into the semi final of The Northumberland Senior Cup with a shot into the roof of the net!

Johnny Emerson put the final nail in the Alnwick coffin ⚰️ when he roonded their keeper to make it 5-1 ***final score!

THE THREE LIONS!

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Munday 18th November 2024

“OH ANTHONY GORDON!”👏

Anthony Gordon scores the 2nd goal! (Nearest to right of picture in the white shirt!)

“OH LEWIS HALL!”👏

“OH TINO LIVREMENTO!”👏

Congratulations to the three Magpies who played for Ing-er-land last neet!

And a special mention for Anthony Gordon who scored his forst goal for the team in the 5-0 rout of Ireland at Wembley to win promotion to the top Nations Leegue group!

Well done lads! 👏👏👏

BRAAFAAD PARK AVENUE 1. DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 1. *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted ‘4:13pm 🔔 bells’ Sunday 17th Novembaa 2024

A TRIBUTE TO LEN SHACKLETON IN THE CLUBHOOSE, WHO PLAYED FOR BOTH BRADFAAD PA AND NUFC!

I’d been to this groond before to watch a friendly in 2016 between Bradfaad PA and NUFC U21s (see ground 320) but not to watch mee 2nd team Dunston! 

We travelled doon to west Yorkshire on the Dunston team bus (players at the back, committee at the front and fans squashed in the middle!) and arrived in good time for a few ‘gargels’ in the Braadfaad clubhoose!

It cost me a tenner to get in az a ‘zimmerframeite’ (golden oldie!) which iz the same price for mee NUFCs Leegue Cup qwaataa final ticket v Brentfaad at SJP next month!🥶

VIEW OF THE PITCH FROM THE CLUBHOOSE

The Braadfaad fans are a strange breed indeed! Most were wearin Bradfaad Bulls rugby 🏉 club’s hats and coats, az well az the green and white scarfs and shirts of Braadfaad Park Avenue!

But one old gadgie went a step forthaa, coz he woz wearin a Bradfaad Bulls hat, a Bradfaad Park Avenue scarf AND a Bradfaad City coat!—He woz takin nee chances!

Anyway!-  The game kicked off in absolutlee freeezin conditions and Bradfaad laid siege to the Dunston goal! The Bad Blue Boys (wearin an aall red strip!) had the odd attack, but the home side made the breakthrough in the 33rd minute when Hassan-Smith fired a shot into the net to loud cheers from The 350 or so Park Avenueites and large groans from the 25 Dunston fans and committee who had made the jorney doon! This aalso included a convoy of cars ( whey 2 actually!) includin ex Toon reserve player Justin Robson who had travelled doon to watch his son Scott, the Dunston number 9!

Bang on half time and against the run of play Dunston equalised through Dan Turner who fired a curling shot into the net from a Dale Pearson through baall, to loud applause from the ‘faithful’!

IT SAYS ‘NO STANDING’ BUT NOWT ABOOT ‘LOW FLYING’!

The second half woz more even, but neethaa side could get the winner and the game ended aall square!

It woz a mad rush back to the warmth of the clubhoose on the final whistle where anothaa Braadfaad ‘eccentric’ woz wearin a red woolly hat with a Northern Ireland army blatooon badge on the front!

He spotted mee Toon badge on mee jacket and said “Fcukin Newcastle!” and I replied, “You must be a fcukin mackem!” az I pointed to hiz hat!

It turned oot that he woz a Bradfaad fan and woz a Rangers loyalist az well! “I NEVER wear anything green!” he told me!  Divvint forget their colours are GREEN and white! (White shirts with narrow green vertical  stripes)

To compound things even forthaa Bradfaad’s old colours were(wait for it!) green and white HOOPS! The same shirts az Rangers most hated enemies CELTIC! (Yi couldn’t make it up!)

A Bradfaad fan wearin their old hooped shirt!

On the clubhoose waall there’s a great tribute to Len Shackleton who played for Bradfaad Park Avenue, before bein transferred to NUFC for the princely sum of £13,000 in the 1940s!  He scored SIX goals v Newport Coonty in NUFCs record 13 goal win! (See top photo)

OFFICIAL ATTENDANCE: 411 (I guessed aboot 380)

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper—74 groonds with Dunston, 371 with NUFC teams) (including 30 of those groonds watchin both teams). 415 different groonds in total!

Not bad for a full time NUFC fan and a part time Dunston fan “EH!?”

THE GEORDIE 'TIME' MACHINE **** GROUND 320 HORSFALL STADIUM, BRADFAAD 2016

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 15th Novembaa 2024

HORSFALL STADIUM, BRADFAAD IN 2016

Tomorrow a'm off to Bradfaad Park Avenue to watch mee fave non leegue club Dunston (Bad Blue Boys) to get mee Saturday 'fix' az we are in the THORD (3rd) International break of the season---and its anly Novembaa!  (NUFC divvint play again til Munday week v 'The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham' at SJP)

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' visited Bradfaad's groond in 2016 for a friendly, when wor U21s played there!

An archive match report on that game iz printed below (Ground 320)