Friday 28 June 2024

NUFC PRE SEASON FIXTURES UPDATE

 Posted '3:33pm bells' Friday 28th Joon 2024



News that wor 1st team are due to play a Friendly away to Hull City on Saturday July 27th at '2:00pm bells' have been reveeeld! 

Then its off to Japan for 2 friendlies on Wedinzday 31st July v Urawa Red Diamonds at Saitama Stadium and then on Saturday 3rd August we play Yokohama F Marios at the National Stadium in Tokyo!

Then a day later, back on home soil, on Sunday 4th August wor U21s are off to Soooth Shields for wor forst ever visit to the 1st Cloud Arena in a '1;00 pm bells' kick off friendly!



NUFC have said that corporate hospitality packages are available for the Sela Cup on Friday 9th and Saturday 10th August at SJP---although there are nee details yet, of just who? we are playin on those dates??



Then a week later the Premyaa Leegue starts with a home game v newly promoted Sooothampton on Saturday 17th August at '3:00pm bells'


PS: There iz nee news aboot a possible friendly in Jawmany where NUFC are in a pre season trainin camp!

The Geordie Times will of course keep yoo, wor loyal subjects, posted on any developments on this!

Az per usual—“Watch this space!”

Thursday 27 June 2024

EFL TROPHY DRAW TODAY

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Thorzday 27th Joon 2024



*The draw for the EFL Trophy aka (Bristol Street Motors Trophy) takes place this afternoon live on SKY SPORTS NEWS

16 Premyaa Leegue U21 teams will play teams from Leegue One and Two

NUFC U21s are in the Northern Section draw and could get any group above

NUFC are number 6 , which tex place at ‘2:30 bells 🔔’



‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ have been to aall but 2 of the above home grounds watchin The Toon— They are Salford City (Group ‘B’) and Fleetwood Town (Group ‘D’)

It would be great to get one of them in the draw!🙏ðŸŧ

We will update this az soon az we find oot wot group we are in!

Az per usual ‘Watch this space!’


*UPDATED ‘3:00 pm 🔔 bells’

NUFC have been drawn in Group ‘F’ v Mansfeeeld, Rothaaham and Braadfaad City!   Been to them aall before!—-NOT wot 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' wanted!ðŸ˜Ē


*

Wednesday 26 June 2024

INGLAND 0 SLOVEEENYAAA 0 "ZZZZzzzz!!!"

 Posted 12:56pm bells' Wedinzday 26th Joon 2024


"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!"

I'm one of the very lucky ones!----Because of work commitments aa had to listen to the Ingland game on mee trucks radio at Redditch and on the M42 near Bormingham!---Those of yoo who watched must have been pullin yih hair oot!

The fact that Anthony Gordon woz anly given 4 minutes to prove himself at the end of the game iz criminal!----And then to send him for the interview afterwards to face the music and explain the shockin performance, iz even more criminal!

Soothgate woz pelted with plastic cups and bottles at the end of the game az he came ower to applaud the fans who hadnt pissed off by this time!

Onto the next stage on Sunday, where aa will be unlucky enough to watch on from a boozer somewhere in The Toon, az a'm off work that day!  ("Dear gaffa---iz there any chance of a trip to Redditch on Sunday---like!")

Friday 21 June 2024

INGLAND 1 THE DANISH BACON BRIGADE 1

 Posted ‘1:11pm 🔔 bells’ Friday 21st Joon 2024

KANE’S GOAL AT WOOLLY EDGE SERVICES

“HEADS IN A SPIN! (DRYER!”)

England expected but the team didn’t deliver!

By amazin’ coincidence aa saw Harry Kane’s goal ⚽️ at Woolly Edge services on the M1, az aa woz walking ðŸšķ past the telly to Greggs for a cup of coffee! ☕️ 

By the time a got back to mee truck in the truck park and switched on the radio, Denmark ðŸ‡Đ🇰 had equalised!

The co woman commentator then said the immortal words! “ENGLAND HEADS ARE IN A SPIN!’—“ITS LIKE THEYVE BEEN INSIDE A TUMBLE DRYER!”  Now wot the hells a ‘tumble dryer’, like?

Aa wonder if wor lass naaz????

A poor 2nd half and we were lucky to get away with a draw in an aaful performance!

Thank God aa couldn’t watch THAT!

(And why oh why didn’t Southgate bring Anthony Gordon on to run doon the wing and supply the crosses???)ðŸĪ”


Tuesday 18 June 2024

TOON FIXTURES RELEASED FOR NEW SEASON!

 Posted '1:00pm bells' 🔔 Tuesday 18th Joon 2024



The Premyaa Leegue fixtures have just been published and they have been sort of kind to us travellin Toon fans!

We start off with a home game v newly promoted Sooothampton and then the longest away trip of the season to Bournemoooth!(Get it oot the way!)

Xmas and New Year doesn’t look bad eethaa with a home game v Villa on Boxin Day and an away game v Man U just before new year’s day! (wor 2nd nearest away game after Man City!)

We have 3 midweek home games and just one midweek away game! (The Liverbirds in February)

Amazingly we will play Evaatin away on a weekend day (unless they move it to a Friday or Munday neet)( We normally play them midweek away)

Wor last home game iz against Ipswich Toon, who will probably have been relegated by then!

Of course the vast majority of them will be moved for live telly, so divvint book owt yet, like!

IN COMPLETE CONTRAST! ⬇️






Monday 17 June 2024

HOWAY INGLAND! ðŸī󠁧ó Ēó Ĩó Ū󠁧ó ŋ

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Munday 27th Joon 2024



Congrats to Ingland on their 1-0 win ower Serbeeeaaa last neet in Gelsenkirchen! (Been there with The Toon--got the Tee shirt!)

Watched it in the hoose, great forst half---crap second half!

Kieron Tripper played, but Anthony Gordon, who woz one of the subs didn't get on!----Next stop, 'The Danish Bacon Brigade' on Thorzday in Frankfurt! (Aalso been there to watch The Toon!---got the Tee Shirt from there az well!)

And spare a thought for the daft Ingland fans who got dreanched to the bone in Times Square in The Toon, payin a tenner each to get in and £7 a pint in a thin plastic container to watch it on the giant screen! (Are they completleee mad---or wot?) ⬇️

TOOK THIS PHOTO OF 'TIMES SQUARE' ON THE BUS YEM!
(NAMED AFTER 'THE GEORDIE TIMES' OF COURSE!---HONEST!)
  

THE BIG SCREEN AT MEE ‘LOCAL’ 
PS: IT WOZ MUCH DRYER IN WOR HOOSE, LIKE!)



Thursday 13 June 2024

SEND FOR KELLY!

 Posted ‘3:30pm bells’ Thorzday 13th Joon 2024



Wor first signin of the new season haz put pen to paper!

25 year old Lloyd Kelly haz signed a 5 year deal and will officially join NUFC on July 1st

He’s a left sided central defender and comes on  ‘free’ after his Bournemoooth contract expired

Welcome to The Toon Lloyd!

Wednesday 12 June 2024

HAPPY BORTHDAY TO ME!---"IT'S WOR CUP!!!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 12th Joon 2024

FRANKIE CLARK & BOBBY MONCUR PARADE THE CUP IN
FRONT OF THE WEST STAND & CENTRE PADDOCK
-----I'M IN THE CENTRE PADDOCK (SOMEWHERE!?)
(Even 'The Dibble' were clappin'!)
"NEE 'SOCIAL DISTANCIN' IN THOSE DAYS!"


The Fairs Cup celebrations continued from the previous day (see below) when we paraded the coverted silverware aroond St James' Park.



One home made banner made oot of a tatty bed sheet and hand written in black paint summed it up: "IT'S WOR CUP!", the banner proclaimed!

Aa was somewhere in the Centre Paddock that day and it was a very special day for me for it was aalso mee 15th borthday!

It is STILL to this day the best borthday 'present' that a'v ever had!
("Er!"---"It shouldn't be tooo hard to work oot how old I am today!? <("quick!---pass mee zimmerframe!")
Clue: It iz mee 'treble 21st plus 7'!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)


"HAPPY BORTHDAY TO ME!"

Tuesday 11 June 2024

FAIRS CUP WINNERS!---55th ANNIVORSARY!---TODAY!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuezday 11th Joon 2024

On this day 55 ago 'The Toon' won the old Inter Cities Fairs Cup in the Hungarian capital of Budapest by beatin' Ujpest Dozsa 3-2 on the day and 6-2 on aggregate, after wor 
3-0 forst leg win a fortneet orlier .

I was still a schoolkid at the time and me and mee mate 'Billy the Skin' listened to the final on a crackly old valve radio in his bedroom of his muthaaz hoose as the game wasn't televised live.

It didn't look 'ower clever' by half time as we were two-nowt doon, but as the 2nd half started, Bobby Moncur vollied in to pull one back and Ujpest just collapsed after that.

Benny Arentoft got wor equaliser soon after  and then Alan Foggon got the winner from a rebounded shot off himsel? as the radio commentator screamed his heed off:"IT'S A GOAL!--IT'S A GOAL!", he shouted at the top of his voice, above the 'crattles' of the radio, and it was 'game ower' as the ref blew the final whistle soon after! 

The bedroom floor nearly collapsed as we jumped up and doon on the creakin' floorboards in jubulation, as, (just like the radio commentator) WE shouted at the top of WOR VOICES as well!

We celebrated wor win by runnin' doon nearby Whickham Highway wavin' an NUFC flag and a huge 'Rangers' 'William of Orange banner' depictin' a gadgie wearin' a funny lookin' hat, ridin' a white horse, (would you believe!) which Billy had 'half inched' as a souviner from the policehut at 'The Leazes End', after we'd played and beaten Rangers in the Fairs Cup semi final @ St James Park in May! 
(At the time we didn't have a clue aboot the 'significance ' of the sectarian nature of the banner---we were just schoolkids after aall!)

Some very puzzled motorists on the road nearly crashed their cars when they seen us!, but they 'didn't have a clue eetha' just wot we were dein', as we sang and danced and waved the huge banner! (which we could hardly lift as it was so heavy!)
"AAAHHH! BRILLIANT MEMORIES!"





Sunday 9 June 2024

BLAYDON RACES 162nd ANNIVORSARY---TODAY!

Updated 'high noon bells' Sunday 9th Joon 2024


Geordie Ridley***'Geordie hero'!

Today iz an historic day for Geordies everywhere---for today iz the 162nd annivorsary of 'The Blaydon Races' song, which of course iz the Geordie National Anthem, written by Geordie Ridley in 1862.


Aaltogether now!---'Geordie Times' version!

BLAYDON RACES

"Aaa went to Blaydon Races!
t'was on the ninth of Joon!
ayteen hundred and sixty two!
on a summers afternoon!
we took the bus from Balbra's!
she was heavy laden!
away we went alang Collingwood Street!
that's on the road to Blaydon!"--


Chorus!
"Oh! mee lads! yi shud'iv seen us gannin!
passin the folks alang the road!
just az they were stanin'!
aall the lads and lasses there!
aall wi smilin' faces!
gannin alang the Scotswood Road!
to see the Blaydon Races!"
SCOTSWOOD ROAD (100th ANNIVERSARY PARADE 1962)

"We flew past Armstrong's factory!
and up to The Robin Adair!
just gannin doon ti the railway bridge!
the bus wheel flew off there!
the lasses lost their crinolines off!
the veils that hide their faces!
an' aw got two black eyes!
an' a broken nose!
in gan ti Blaydon Races!"

THE ROBIN ADAIR 


Chorus!

"An' when we put the wheel back on!
away wi went agen!
but them that had their noses broke!
they cam back ower yem!
some went to the dispensary!
and some to Doctor Gibbs'ss!
and some to the infirmary!
to mend their broken ribs'ss!"
DOCTOR GIBBS

Chorus!

"Noo when we got to paradise!
thor wes bonny gern begun!
there wes four and twenty on the bus!
man!---who they danced and sung!
they caalled on me to sing a sang!
aw sung them Paddy Fagen!
aw danced a jig and swung me twig!
the day aw went to Blaydon!"
'PARADISE' BRIDGE

Chorus!

"We swung across the chain bridge!
and into Blaydon toon!
the bellman he was caallin' there!
they caall him Jackie Broon!
aw saw him talkin' to some cheps!
and them he was persuadin'!
to gan and see Geordie Ridley's show!
at the Mechanics Hall in Blaydon!"

THE 'CHAIN BRIDGE'

Chorus!

(last vorse!)
"The rain it poor'd aw the day!
and myed the ground quite muddy!
Coffee Johnny had a white hat on!
they were shootin', "Whe stole the cuddy?"
there wes spice stalls and munkey shows!
an' aud wifes sellin' cider!
an' a chep wiv a ha'penny roond-aboot!
shottin', "Aw me lads, for riders!"
'COFFEE JOHNNY'

Chorus!


A paintin' of THE BLAYDON RACES in 1862




  

THE BLAYDON RACES PROJECTION ONTO BALTIC FLOUR MILLS 
ON THE RIVER TYNE, SATURDAY JOON 8th 2024!



Friday 7 June 2024

ATTENTION NUFC GROUNDHOPPERS!

 Posted 6:30pm bells’ Friday 7th Joon 2024

“ NEW GROOND!  NEW GROOND!” ðŸĪŠðŸ‘ðŸ


News reaches The Geordie Times that Sooth Sheeeldz hav announced that they will play a friendly v NUFC U21s at their groond in August!

This will be the forst time ever that we have played them there!—-EVER!

The groond iz near BEDE Metro station!

It aalso says that anyone tornin’ up in  mackem strips will be refused entry and if anyone of them gets in they will be hoyed oot!



Wednesday 5 June 2024

CIVIL WAR AZ MAN CITY UPTURN THE PREMYAA LEEGUE APPLE CART!

 Posted '5:00pm bells' Wedinzday 5th Joon 2024



Unless yoo live on the Moon, you'll have hord through wor 'little sister paper' 'The Times' and the media, that Man City have issued a legal action against The Premyaa Leegue for tryin' to stop their spendin' spree!

If they win their case it could meeen that NUFC can spend wot we like to compete with the so caalled 'big six'!

We await with 'baited breath' to see the outcome of the 2 week hearin' which begins on Munday 10th Joon!


We've made the artice a bit bigger so those of yoo with dodgy 'mince pies' can read it!---And best of luck with deein 'The Times' Crossword!




Monday 3 June 2024

ING-ER-LAND EXPECTS!

 Posted '5:00pm bells' Munday 3rd Joon 2024



Ing-er-land take on Bosnia at SJP tooneet in a pre Euro Tournament warm up game!

Wor very own Kieron Trippier will captain the team and hiz young son will be the mascot!

Anthony Gordon iz expected to 'miss oot' coz of an ankle injury!

It's a complete selloot and the games kicks off at '7:45bells' and iz live on Channel 4 if yih havvint got a ticket and cannit get to your nearest boozer!

Updated Tuezday:



A 3-0 win for Ing-er-land, which included NUFC's Kieran Trippier az captain, with 2nd half goals from Cole Palmer (pen), Trent Alexander Arnold and Harry Kane in front of a 50,000 plus crowd!

Sunday 2 June 2024

TOON DATES FOR YOUR DIARY!

Posted 'high noon bells' ðŸ””  Sunday 2nd Joon 2024

LATEST PIX OF 'THE STACK' BOOZER BEHIND THE GALLOWGATE END, WHICH SHUD BE OPEN VERY SOON!
“STACK EM HIGH!”


2024

Friday 7th Joon: New kit launch

Sunday 9th Joon: Blaydon Races Day 162nd anniversary of the song written by Geordie Ridley!

Tuesday 11th Joon: 55th anniversary of wor Fairs Cup win (Fairs Cup Day!) ðŸĪŠðŸ‘ðŸ 🏆 

Wedinzday 12th Joon: Fairs Cup parade! ( And my 🎂 borthday!)

Friday 14th Joon: Transfor window opens

Tuezday 18th Joon: Premyaa Leegue fixtures released

Friday 21st Joon: Home cup ticket scheme deadline '5:00 pm bells'

Wedinzday 31st July: Urawa Red Diamonds, Satima Stadium, Japan, '7:30 bells' local time

Saturday 3rd August: Yokohama F Marionos, National Stadium, Japan, '7:00bells' local time

Saturday 17th August: Premyaa Leegue starts

Week commencin' Monday 26th August: Leegue Cup 2nd roond

Friday 30th August: Transfor window closes


2025

Wedinzday 1st January: Transfor window opens

? ? January: FA Cup 3rd roond

Monday 3rd February: Transfor window closes

Sunday 25th May: Season ends





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