THE TOON 3 VITESSE ARNHEM 2 ***FRIENDLY FIXTURE 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 31st July 2016


THE TOON (IN BLACK SHIRTS) ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL

Playin' in wor aafull new 'Bumble Bee 2nd kit' of black with a yellow hoop around the middle!----(where DO they get theeze designs from?) we started off well attackin' The Leazes End'  in  a 'one thord full' St James' Park, where we estimated the attendance az around aboot the 15,000 mark!
It didn't take lang for us to open the scorin' when a Janmaat cross foond new boy Matt Richie and hiz shot waz defected in by a Arnhem defender with 20 minutes on the clock!

It waz soon 2-0 when Gayle toe poked the baall into the back of the net in the 36th minute! 
Just 5 mins after this goal we scored again when a fine cross from Perez foond the bonce of an unmarked Colback and he placed hiz heeder past the Arhhem keeper to make it 3-0 by half time andthere waz a 'buzz' around the small crowd. (excuse the Bumble Bee pun!)

However!--- in the 2nd period we took wor foot off the gas and allowed wor Dutch visitors to get back into the game when they pulled one back 6 minutes after the restart after sloppy defendin' on wor part by Janmaat <(mee finks?)

Anothaa goal for wor visitors 10 mins later after a Vitesse free kick waz badly defended by 'us' sent the 150 visitin' fans from Holland   into joyous raptures az they jumped aboot in the 'Leazes corner'!

We held oot and thankfully didn't concede again to remain unbeaten under Rafa for ELEVEN games includin' the end of last season!

We were much better than last season's pre season friendlies under the management of 'The Wally with the Brolly', when we actually lost to York City (who were relegated from the Futbaall Leegue in May in bottom place!) and an American 3rd division side in wor tour of 'The States'!

Wor defence still needs sortin' though after those 2 horror goals!

Toon team: Sels, Janmaat (Sterry 73), Dummett, Lascelles, Hanley (Gamez 62), Hayden (Saivet 73), Colback (Shelvey 62), Anita (Goffran 73), Perez (Armstrong 62), Gayle (Mitrovic 73), Richie (Aarons 62)

Attendance: 19,200 (150 Arnhem fans)


ARNHEM FANS IN LEAZES CORNER

The crowd waz 4,000 more than wor estimate!

THE TOON v VITESSE ARNHEM **** FRIENDLY FIXTURE ***THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '10:24am bells' Saturday 30th July 2016

"NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED AZ SOON AZ POSSIBLE!"

Havin' missed the last 3 away friendly games, I'm 'back in the fold' and ready to resume 'The Geordie Times' match reports once again!
I'm pleezed to tell yoo that wor lass (Val) iz feelin' much better now after hor op in The Freeman Hospital 11 days ago! (the main reason for me missin' those games)
Many thanx for the 'get well' messages to Val!

Vitesse Arnhem are wor one and anly pre season home visitors this afternoon before the big kick @ Fulham next Friday neet!

A FULL Geordie Times match report on today's game will appear here sometime on Sunday!

CORBY TOON 0 TOON U21s 3 *** STEEL PARK CUP *** LAST SATURDAY!!!!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 28th July 2016

I know it's a bit late!---but here's 'The Geordie Times' match report from Corby last Saturday!

Match report and pix sent by 'Alex of St George'

"Despite ower half an hours gap from the first game this one somehow kicked off 8 minutes late?---eatin' into my time to get the 3 miles back to the station to catch the train!

Newcastle U21s continued their impressive start to the season with skilful control and accurate passing giving them the upperhand throughout the opening period.

A number of NUFC chances went begging before Corby had the first corner of the game in the 37th minute. The low delivery went right across the 6 yard box with one Corby player missing it completely and centre back Bradlee Gascoinge heading against the post when it was easier to score!

2 minutes later Luke Charman put Newcastle ahead with a smart turn and shot into the bottom corner of the net after good work from the impressive Yasin El-Mhanni.

NUFC made no changes at half time but Corby brought on Sergio Carallo who apparently is from Real Madrid!

In the 55th minute Certis Good made a timely tackle on the lively Femi Urenuga to prevent him being through on goal.
In the 58th minute Sean Longstaff calmly slotted home after being put through by Jamie Holmes.

A number of further chances from NUFC were saved or missed before Longstaff got his 2nd in the 72nd minute direct from a corner. His apologetic celebrations suggested it wasn't intended!

Kyle Cameron then came on wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask to protect his face!

Further chances were missed but it was a comfortable win against a spirited Corby side!"

Crowd of around 200 included a few Toon fans but most wearing the black and white were supporting the home team!

Some of the 'tonsil ticklin' took place here in the Steel Club in the ground---as well as other locations in LONDON!

SOOOTHEND v THE TOON **** TOOONEET!

Posted '12:35pm bells' Tuesday 26th July 2016

Tooneet the forst team heed for Roots Haall for wor 4th pre season game!
Unfortunatally I can't be there again for reason given in the article below---but--fear not!---I WILL be at the Vitesse Arnhem game @ SJP on Saturday and (hopefully?) away to Fulham on Friday week.
The train and hotel and match ticket are aall booked for the Fulham game--and fingers (and toes!) crossed I will be there to keep my COMPETITIVE games record intact!
For a full and comprehensive match report of tooneets game can I point yoo in the direction of: www.nufc.com

Cheers! Fink (the mad-sad 'non' groundhopper!) <(at the mo!)

A MESSAGE FROM THE NUFC 'NON' MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER!

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 24th July 2016

TOON FLAGS AT LOKEREN (I'll give yoo 3 guesses wot 'SMB meeenz!?)
(THE TOON ARE IN WHITE)

Forst of aall apologeeez for not updatin' 'The Geordie Times' for a few days!
This iz because I waz unable to attend wor away games at Lokeran in Belgium or the U21/ resorve side who played at Corby yesterday due to circumstances beyond my control!
Wor lass (Val) underwent and operation in The Freeman Hospital, (which iz on the north side of 'The Toon') on Tuesday mornin' and she wasn't able to come home til Friday evenin'!

Az she needed help and needed me close by, I waz unable to gan to Lokeren or indeed visit a new groond in Corby! (I'll just have to 'live with it'!)

The good news iz that 'she iz on the mend' and I shud be OK 'to retorn to the fray' by the time we play wor forst competitive game of the season, away to Fulham on Friday August 5th!

There WERE however some of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' at BOTH games and a brief match report of those from them (very brief!) iz printed below!

LOKEREN 0  THE TOON 4
(Match report by 'Glennn from Ashington' via text on hiz mobile!)

"Perez 2, Janmaat and a lang range Shelvey deflected effort---not sure if it hit Mitrovic. Jesus haz just been sent off with a Lokeren player!"

CORBY TOON 0  TOON U21/RESORVES 3

I had intended to travel with 'Alex of St George' to Corby on the train (£97 retorn to Peterborough!---and then a 50 mile bus jorney to Corby!)
(Match report? by Alex--again by the wonders of text messaging!)

"Pleeeeze still talk to me!--In the end I went to Corby both ways via 'Landan'. Toon won 3-0: Charman 40, Longstaff 58 & 72!" 

("I forgive yoo!"---"JUST!")

(For a full match report on both games gan to: www.nufc.com ) 



I WAZ however able to attend a game closer to home (if I waz needed) and saw 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' hammer Ashton Athletic 5-0 az 'The Red Arrows' flew ower the groond on their way to a certain 'free air show' after takin' off from 'Toon Airport'!


DEPENDIN' ON HOW GOOD YOUR EYESIGHT IZ--
'THE RED ARROWS CAN BE SPOTTED BETWEEN THE TREES
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PICTURE 
AZ DUNSTON PLAY ASHTON

It iz ironic to say the least that we are playin' wor 2nd game in Corby az I speak, against a PSV Eindhoven X1!!!

Hopefully normal service will be resumed az soon az possible!




DONNY ROVERS v TOON X1 *** (Make that a Toon XX1 !)

Posted '11:00am bells' Wednesday 20th July 2016

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE ***
 ANDY CARROLL SCORES THE ANLY GOAL OF THE GAME IN MARCH 2010
(SPOT THE BLACK GLOVES!)

Tooneet we take a team (teams!) to The Keepmoat Stadium, Doncaster for a friendly against Doony Rovers!
We fully expect that there will be a good mixture of 1st team, resorve and junior players in the side.
 If wor friendly in Dublin last Saturday iz anything to gan by, then at least 22 players will take part at some point or othaa!
If yoo are gannin divvint forget to take your brolly az thunderstorms and torrential rain are forecast!

Updated Thorsday
Full time 2-2
Perez saved wor blushes deep into injury time after Donny had taken a 2 goal lead. New boy Hayden had pulled one back before Perez's equaliser---In aall 21 players were used, az predicted by us!
The crowd waz 5,698 of which half were Toon fans!

170 (revisited) dalymount park bohemians

Ground number 170 (revisited)
Date of this Visit: 16th July 2016
Dalymount Park, Dublin

Bohemian 0
Newcastle United 6 (Richie, Mitrovic, Gayle, Thauvin, Aarons, Wijnaldum) 

Friendly fixture
Attendance: 4,200 (of which at least 3,000 were Toon fans!)


"JESUS IZ A GEORDIE AND RAFA IZ GOD!" 

RICHIE GOAL AT 'THE CARPET END'

In complete contrast to the last few seasons The Toon actually 'hit the groond runnin' in this 6-0 demolition of Bohemians in Dublin, with five new debuts and six different goalscorers!

We'd flown to Belfast on the Friday neet where wor digs were and then onward by choo choo train to Dublin the next mornin'! (It waz much cheaper than flyin' and stoppin' in Dublin!)

The forst roond of drinks in Dublin city centre were porchased by 'Big Al' <(NOT the sheet metal workers son!) for 3 of us (Tex Taylor waz the othaa Toon traveller!)
"That's TWENTY euros!" the barman said for the 3 pints, which worked oot at EIGHTEEN quid in Inglish money! (SIX quid a pint!)
"TWENTY EUROS!"  said 'I' in amazement, to which he replied "BREXIT!"

It waz my torn in the next boozer---The Ha'ppenny Bridge' where I waz charged a 'mere' NINETEEN AND A HALF euros! (see pub craal photos at foot of page!)

A couple of the Irish contingent then made an entrance (Declan and John from Ireland!) and we made tracks for the groond!---A marathon waalk which took half an hour, where more of The Toon Travellers were situated!

Aftaa porchasin' a few more 'liquid lubrications' (anly FIFTEEN eoros here!) it waz time to heed for the groond just roond the corner!

The last time aa waz here waz in the 1990's and the groond iz now in a sorry state with weeds growin' from the empty terraces to the right of us and the virtual empty stand opposite waz minus it's roof, of which half the terrace had been demolished since the last time we were here!--Part of the roof behind the left hand goal had aalso been demolished az well! -'The Home of Irish Futbaall'---az the sign said opposite, iz a dilapidated groond if ever there waz one (see pix!)

THE 'HALF A STAND  WITH NE ROOF ENCLOSURE'!

The game kicked off at '2 bells' and the whole groond seemed to be full of Toon fans---most of them of the Irish variety, with hardly a Bohs fan in sight!---very strange---where were they????

NUFC wore black armbands in honour of The Undertaker and Liam who died 2 years ago when their plane waz shot doon ower The Ukraine az they travelled to New Zealand to watch The Toon---RIP lads!
The game started of with the home side havin' a couple of chances before wor 'new faces' made their impact:

The goal sequences were az follows:
15th minute: James Sterry passed the baall to MATT Richie and he hit a sweet effort into the (wait for it!) > DES KELLY CARPET STAND to the right (get it?--see pic of stand and goal at top of page!) (1-0!)
30th minute: Mitrovic waz hacked doon in the box and he stepped up to take the resultin' penalty, which he hit to the left of the Bohs keeper! (2-0!)

MITRO PEN AT 'THE CARPET END'
(BOHS WERE ON THE FLOOR BY THIS TIME!) (sic!)

Fans were still driftin' in at this time az the match tickets said it waz a '3 bells' kick off!

49th minute: anothaa debutant Dwight Gayle smashes the baall off the crossbar and into the net at 'The Dilapidated Weed Strewn Terrace End' (again, see pix!) (3-0!)

GOAL FOR NUFC AT 'THE DILAPIDATED WEED STREWN TERRACE END'
(CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH GOALSCORER NOW? (hic!)

55th minute: Thauvin gets in on the act az a simple pass from Aarons gives him a 'tap in'! (4-0!)
59th minute: Just before the hour mark Rolando Aarons side foots the baall into the net! (5-0!)

Jesus Gamez then came on to chants of:  "Jesus iz a Geordie!" of which some wise crack added "And Rafa iz GOD!"(boom! boom!)
Jonjo Shelvey aalso had a chant which went: "He's got no hair! but we don't care!" <(where do they get them from?)

75th minute: The rout iz completed az Wijnaldum runs through to tuck hiz shot into the back of the net (6-0!)
It could have been much more against an understreanth home side, but 'we took wor foot off the gas' and for the 2nd time in 'The Guinness Republic' I saw a 6-0 win (the othaa one waz v Bray Wanderers a few years back!) 

It waz then back to Belfast where the 'hooch' waz a bit cheaper (£4.50 here!) to celebrate a great pre season win at last!

In aall, 22 players were used by us and aall of them played well!
The Toon team line up(s) were az follows:   "Deep breath!"
Sels (Darlow 46),  Sterry (Janmaat 46), Anita (Wijnaldum 69),  Mbemba (Hayden 46), Lascelles (Gamez 74), Saivet (Tiote 74), Colback (Shelvey 46), Richie (Thauvin 46), Gouffran (Perez 48), Aarons (Dummett 63)  and finalleeee!   Mitrovic (Gayle 46) *

Pub craal photos in Geordiebetical order! from Toon airport -to Belfast to Dublin to Belfast! 


TOON AIRPORT FRIDAY EVENIN'

 



"DIVVINT DRINK HERE****SIX QUID A PINT!"

OTHAA PHOTOS!

SOMEWHERE NEAR WINDSOR PARK IN BELFAST!



A HEADBOARD 2 MATTRESSES AND BED ON BACK OF CAR IN BELFAST!
(WHO NEEDS A TRUCK TO DELIVER IT!)







 

BOHEMIANS MATCH REPORT TO FOLLOW SOMETIME TOMORROW!

Posted '8:50pm bells' Sunday 17th July 2016

We have just arrived back yem from Ireland and a full match report on wor 6-0 rout of Bohemians on Saturday will follow sometime tomorrow----watch this space!

BOHEMIANS OF DUBLIN TOON v THE TOON ** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '2:45pm bells' Friday 15th July 2016

Forst of aall---apologeeeez for not updatin' this site on a more regular basis like aa used to!
This iz because a'm rushed off mee feet with work and othaa commitments and just divvint have the time at the mo!

We are flyin' off later today to Belfast and then onward to Dublin by choo choo train tomorrow mornin' for wor match which kicks off at '2 bells' and NOT '3 bells' az stated on the match tickets!

A full match report will appear here when we get back on Sunday afternoon!
Az ever! ---watch this space for a match report---eventualleeee!!!!

THE HORSFIELD STADIUM!---A GROVELLIN' EXPLANATION!

Posted '1:30pm bells' Tuesday 12th July 2106

In mee match report for wor U21s game @ Bradfaad on Sunday, aa said that the groond waz called 'The Horsfield Stadium', when in fact it's called 'The HorsFALL Stadium.
Many (many!) years ago The Toon had a player called Arthur Horsfield (pictured) who played just 9 games for us, scorin' 3 goals in 1969 
He played in wor famous 5-1 defeat of Vitoria Setubal 'in the snow' in wor Fairs Cup winnin' season!
Somehow aa had a 'brainwarp' and put hiz name to the stadium instead!  (see below!)

BRADFAAD PARK AVENUE v TOON U21s *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '9:00am bells' Sunday 10th July 2016

The big day haz finally arrived!----az we heed off to the delights? of Bradfaad for wor forst pre season game, where wor resorve?U21s side will play National Leegue (North) side Bradford PA in a game organised to mark the centenary of the death of 2nd lieutenant Donald Simpson Bell who died in the Battle of the Somme 100 years ago next Tuesday.
He won the Victoria Cross for exceptional valour just 5 days before hiz death.
Bell played for both Bradfaad and The Toon--- hence the arranged friendly in hiz memory!

7 of us are settin' off in half an hours time for deepest Yorkshire and a full match report will appear here later today or tomorrow!

If yoo are gannin' it's a fiver to get in for big kids and 2 quid for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

MORE TELLY FIXTURES ANNOONCED TODAY!---OR PERHAPS NOT!!!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 8th July 2016

"COMIN' SOON TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU!"

We were telt that forthaa telly fixtures will be annoonced sometime this mornin'---HOWEVER the EPL <(The Championships new name?) have said:
"We have NEVER announced a date!"--We will be confirming a date/time shortly!"

We have been telt that at least 5 weeks notice would be given, to give fans a chance to book trains/hotels etc [we shall see!]

Updated: Saturday

PS: We have just foond oot that the telly fixtures up until the end of September will be announced next WEDNESDAY! <(but divvint haad yi breath!!!!)

"PRAISE THE LORD FOR JESUS!"

Posted 'high noon bells plus 1 minute' Friday 8th July 2016

Wor 4th summer signin'  so far sees us acquire full back Jesus Gamez from Atletico Madrid---he's signed a 2 year contract and iz 31 years old <(the "We must buy them young!" policy of just signin' players under 25, looks like it iz 'oot the window' now under the 'Rafa Reyjeeem'!)  

NUFC PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2016-2017 (UPDATE)

Updated 'high noon bells' Wednesday 6th July 2016

HORSFALL STADIUM---BRADFORD PARK AVENUE

A forthaa friendly v Sooothend away haz been announced and will be played @ Roots Hall on Tue 26th July @ '7:45 bells'
Lokeran of Belgium haz now been conformed and will be played in the Belgian toon on Saturday 23rd July----Anothaa fixture haz been conformed for wor one and anly home pre season game--this iz against Vitesse Arnhem of Holland and haz been 'pencilled in' for Saturday 30th July with a '3 bells' kick off!

Forst team fixtures so far---Home game in GOLD 
Away games in PINK---those in blue are not confirmed yet!

Sat 16th July---Bohemians of Dublin away @ '2 bells'
Wed 20th July---Donny Rovers away @ '7:45 bells'
Sat 23rd July---Lokeren of Belgium away @ '4:30 bells'
Tue 26th July---Sooothend away @ '7:45 bells'
Sat 30th July---Vitesse Arnhem of Holland home @ '3 bells' 
Burnley?---no date

The Pit Yaakers of Ashington and Darlo away have been added to the list of resorve games---aall away from home
U21/resorve fixtures so far: A friendly haz been arranged @ York City for Sat 30th July---The same day the forst team are in action v Vitesse Arnhem

Sun 10th July---Bradford Park Avenue away @ '3 bells'
Sat 16th July---Darlo @ Renolds Arena @ '3 bells'
Sat 23rd July---Corby Town away @ '3:30 bells'
Sun 24th July---PSV Eindhoven of Holland @ Corby Town
'high noon bells'
Sat 3oth July---York City away @ '3 bells' 
Mon 1st August---The Pit yaakers of Ashington away @ '7:30 bells' *

U18s fixtures so far
Meeenwhile! wor U18s side iz off to Northern Ireland again to play in the now dubbed 'Super Cup NI'

Mon 25th July---Fermanagh in Ballymena @ '7:30 bells'
Tue 26th July---'Right To Dream' <(don't ask me why?) in Seahaven @ '7 bells'
Wed 27th July---Tyrone @ The Warren @ '3:30 bells' 

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER NEWS ************** "I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK!"

Posted '9:21am bells' Munday 4th July 2016


"NEW GROOND!---NEW GROOND!!!"

News that forthaa friendlies for wor U21s/resorve side have been annoonced and I nearly had a heart attack when I hord that we were to play Darlo away on the same day az the forst team were play Bohemians in Dublin toon!
This waz because Darlo now play at Bishop Auckland's new groond---a groond we have NEVER been te---and az a'd aalredy booked to gan to Ireland aa thought aa would miss oot!

BUT!---readin' fortha don the page it waz annoonced that the game would be played @ Darlo's former home--The Renolds Arena---where we have BEEN BEFORE!!!!---A huge sigh of relief for aall the mad-sad groundhoppers!!!!
A game against The Pit Yaakkers of Ashington haz aalso been arranged for the forst day of next month (AYE!--we've been there az well!)

Under21s/resorves revised pre season fixture list:

Sun 10th July 3 bells---Bradford Park Avenue away
Sat 16th July 3 bells---Darlo @ The Renolds Arena
Sat 23rd July 3:30 bells---Corby Toon away
Sun 24th July high noon bells----PSV Eindhoven @ Corby
Sat 30th July 3 bells---York City away
Mon 1st Aug 7:30 bells---The Pit Yaakkers of Ashington away *    



HORSFALL STADIUM---BRADFORD  PARK AVENUE
("NEW GROOND!---NEW GROOND!!!")

RAFA BUYS A MATT AND SELS!

Posted '11:25am bells' Saturday 2nd July 2016

2 more acquisitions <(we naa aall the big words!) have been conformed to add to wor squad!

They are 24 year old Belgian international goalie Matz Sels from Gent (Belgium) for 5 million quid and 26 year old winger Matt Richie from Bournemoooth for a reported 12 million quid.

FACT!: Richie iz a Scottish international with 10 appearances and 3 goals, despite never havin' ventured north of the border in hiz life---until he played for them! (He waz born in Hampshire but hiz faathaa iz Scottish and so he chose them!)

"AALRIGHT DWIGHT!" *** "ADIOS ANDROS!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 1st July 2016

DWIGHT GAYLE HOLDS UP THE NEW TOON TOP HE WILL BE WEARIN' THIS SEASON
(AT LEAST IT HAZ BLACK N WHITE STRIPES ON THE BACK!-AND NOT PLAIN WHITE!)

SWINGS AND ROONDABOOTS!

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that striker Dwight Gayle haz signed for The Toon from Crybaby Palace for a fee reported to be in the £10 million region!---However!---and in the opposite direction, winger Andros Toonsend haz left us to join Pardew's boys for a £13 million fee