Wednesday, 23 September 2020

MORECAMBE V THE TOON *** LEEGUE CUP 3RD ROOND

Posted from '7:00pm bells' onwards, Wedinzday 23rd September 2020


We face Morecambe tooneet in Lancashire for a place the 4th roond of the Leegue Cup against Newport away!

Live updates will be posted from kick off time at '7:45 bells'


Toon team: Gillespie, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Krafth, Hayden, 
S Longstaff, Murphy, Almiron, Richie, Joelinton
Subs: Darlow, Carroll, Shelvey, Wilson, Hendrick, Frazer, Barlaser

5th minute: GOAL! Toon take the lead through Joelinton with a right footed shot from the centre of the penalty area! 
Almiron goal



20th minute: GOAL! Toon double wor lead through Almiron with a left footed shot from right hand side of 6 yard box!

27th minute: GOAL! We are runnin riot now az Murphy gets in on the act with a left footed shot from ootside the box!--Surely nee way back for Morecambe now!?

31st minute: GOAL! Joelinton gets his 2nd with a right footed shot from ootside the box to top right hand corner!

33rd minute: RED CARD for Morecambe's Diagouraga!

45+2: GOAL! Hayden with a right footed shot!

HT 
Morecambe 0 
The Toon 5! 

51st minute: GOAL! Lascelles heeder from 6 yard box from a Ritchie cross!   SIX-nil!

86th minute: Ryan Frazer heeder hits the bar

90+1: GOAL! Own goal by Sam Lavelle 

FT Morecambe 0 
The Toon 7  (SKY sayz it's wor biggest away win EVER!)
Typical---and we wornt there to see it live!
I remember that we beat Notts Coonty 7-1 away in the Leegue Cup many moons ago!






An excellent away win, but to put things into context, Cambridge beat Morecambe 5-0 at Morecambe 4 days ago!
And Morecambe had 11 players on the pitch the whole match!

We now play Newport Coonty away next week in the next roond!
A groond that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never been tee, and WON'T be!😭 az of course its behind closed doors!

"MORECAMBE AND "WHEY AYE'S!" *** MORECAMBE 0 THE TOON 2 ***GLOBE ARENA ***GROUND NUMBER 304

Match report from Morecambe to follow later!
Previous visit to Morecambe match report below!


ground number 304
date of first visit: 28th august 2013
globe arena, Morecambe

Morecambe 0
Newcastle United 2


"THIS TOWN AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US!"

"CARRY ON CAMPIN'!"
(Special thanx to 'International Russcue' for the photo!)

The Toon's *inaugural trip to The Globe Arena (*we naa aall the posh words!) torned oot to be an iconic day in wor lang history az two brothers scored in the same match for us for the forst time ever!

It started off badly az we got stuck in a massive traffic jam in Lancaster, which iz the next toon to Morecambe and it took ages to get through the place!
Then!---there waz the little matter of findin' a safe place to park mee new blue van (complete with 'The Geordie Times' Tyne bridges logo!) which had been convorted to carry passengers in the back!
The run-doon hoosin' estate next to the ground looked very dodgy indeed with old settees and mattresses lyin' discarded in weed strewn gardens and so we decided to try and park in one of the many caravan parks in the area, which we told were safe to park in.
'Tex' Taylor, one of mee travellin' companions had stopped at one a few years back and we heeded for that one, where the wifey who owned it said we could park next to a shabby white camper van for 'a fiver'!

Aa carefully reversed the van on to a piece of grass next to the camper and aall of a sudden the camper's door flew open and a scruffy lookin' unshaven skinny gadgie wearin' a beer stained white vest appeared, wavin' hiz arms aboot like 'windmills' and demandin' that we moved it 'pronto' az that waz hiz bit of lawn and we were blockin' hiz view! (of a gasometer, by the way!)

He suggested (demanded!) that we moved it to some hard standin' on the next plot which waz empty and so aa 'gingerly' shifted the van to where he said! (we had left some 'tyre tracks' on hiz precious lawn, which he hadn't noticed, but decided not to tell him az we might have slashed tyres and nee van windows left, when we returned from the match!)

It waz then off to 'The Hurley Flyer' boozer next to the ground az the gadgie stared at us through hiz net curtains!

Some Toon idiot set a smoke bomb off in the beer garden and the smoke drifted into the bar where we were and so we decided to gan to the bar in the caravan park where we had just left!

It waz then onward back to the tiny ground where Toon fans occupied half of the main stand (where we were) and the terrace behind the right hand goal from us.

A mainly resorve team trotted oot and we just knew that we would be in for a hard neet in this Leegue Cup 2nd roond tie!
If it wasn't for defender Dan Gosling and goalie Rob Elliot who both had blinders we would surely have lost this game az Morecambe had THREE clear cut chances to take the lead in the forst half, but we were saved by 'the dynamic duo'!
"RED SKY AT NIGHT ***AMEOBI'S'S DELIGHT!"

Another 'dynamic duo' came to the rescue in the 2nd period, just when it looked az though the game would gan to extra time.
Shola Ameobi raced through the home defence and fired in a shot which waz deflected and it ended up in the corner of the goal in the 84th minute to wild celebrations from the Toon faithful who were behind!
Not to be ootdone, hiz bruvva Sammy fired home deep into injury time to seal the victory and a coverted place in wor 121 year history! <(not anly that!, but two born and bred Geordies az well--"Whey aye maan!")

SAMMY'S 'HISTORIC' GOAL CELEBRATIONS
IN FRONT OF THE TOON FANS

Thankfully!--the windows (and tyres!) were still intact az we returned to the van (the gadgie had gone to 'beddy-byes' by this time!) and we quietly drove off (so az not to distorb him!) into another traffic jam on the main road!

The draw for the next roond waz on the radio and a home tie against Leeds waz wor 'prize' for gettin' through!

Toon team: Elliot, Debuchy, Yanga, Good, Dummett, Bigirimana, Gosling, Marveaux (Sissoko 86), Vuckic (Shola Ameobi 46),  Sammy Ameobi, Gouffran (Ben Arfa 71)

Attendance: 5,375 (more than 1,000 short of capacity and NOT the record crowd that waz predicted) (1,800 relieved Toon fans)

"ER! --SORRY!"---JUST FOOND OOT IT WAZ A RECORD CROWD!" beatin' the previous 'high' of 5,003!

Tuesday, 22 September 2020

SHREWSBURY 3 THE TOON U21s 0 *** FT *** ELF TROPHY*** kick off '5:30 bells'

Posted from '6:40pm bells' onwards, Tuesday 22nd September 2020

"RADIO GAA GAA!"



Wor U21s are currently playin at Shrewsbury and were 2-0 doon at half time!

A'm listenin' to the match on Radio Newcasil on mee canny tranny van's radio!  Former Toon defender John Anderson iz one of the commentators 

Highlights:

11th minute: Shrewsbury's Scott High scores with a fine shot

18th minute: The home side double their lead through a Ryan Barnett heeder

55th minute: It's gannin from bad to worse for The Toon az Jason Cummings fires in from a corner kick! 3-0 to The Shrewz! (The same score as last season!--see ground 344 in the article below!)

68th minute: John Anderson says its "men against boys!" (Some Toon players are az young az 17!)

75th minute: Commentator sayz  that the Shrewsbury keeper hazzent had a shot to save!

(Just like the forst team on Sunday!)

*Full time: Lost 3-0! 

(Just like the forst team on Sunday!!!)

'19:18 bells' *** Nearly full time on the radio's clock!

Updated '9:00pm bells'

*PS: Newport beat Wotfaad 3-1 in the Leegue Cup.   IF NUFC beat Morecambe away tomorrow, we will play at Newport in the 4th roond! 

A groond we have never been tee and cannit gan tee next week!🥶

SHREWSBURY TOON v THE TOON U23s *** TOONEET! *** EFL CUP GROUP STAGE

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 22nd September 2020

Shrewsbury v NUFC U21s at The New Meadow, October 2019

There are TWO very important games tooneet!

The forst iz wor U21s game at Shrewsbury, which iz behind closed doors---and the othaa iz Newport Coonty v Wotfaad in the Leegue Cup!

The reason that we are interested in the Newport game iz because if wor 1st team beat Morecambe away tomorrow neet in the Leegue Cup 3rd roond, we will play the winners of the Newport/Wotfaad game in the 4th roond!

We want Wotfaad to win coz we of course have been there before, whereaz we have NEVER been to Newport's Rodney Parade groond!

Normally, 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' would want Newport to win so we can visit a brand new groond---but of course that game will be behind closed doors and we will be unable to gan!---and spoil wor record of seein NUFC play a competitive game on EVERY new groond we have played on, in the 1980s, 1990s and this century!

So a Wotfaad win iz WOT (sic!) we want, for that reason alone!

Luckily we visited Shrewsbury's new groond last season in the same EFL competition, so we can just aboot deal with not bein' able to gan there this season!

So a second hand match report will have to suffice for tooneets game!

A match report on that game nearly a year ago, iz printed in the article below! 

ground number 344 New Meadow

344 new meadow, shrewsbury

Ground number 344
Date of First Visit: 8th October 2019
New Meadow (aka Montgomery Waters Meadow), Shrewsbury
(141st ground visited that has staged Premier League/Football League games watchin' NUFC)
Shrewsbury Town 3
Newcastle United U21s 0

EFL Trophy group stage
Attendance: 1,408 (55 Toon fans in away section, plus several others in main stand (I coonted 65 Toon fans?)
                             The Toon (in orange) attack the away end goal (2nd half)

"GANNIN ROOND IN CIRCLES!"

I had to dee mee normal truck run to Manchester on Munday neet, but woz delayed doon there and aa finally left at '2:10am bells'!
Aa got back to Tyneside at '5:00am bells' and got to bed half an hour later! "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"

After less than 3 hours kip, aa woz up again to catch the '10:18 bells' train to----MANCHESTER!---and heeded for 'The Piccadilly Tap' for swift 'gargel', 11 hours after leavin Manchester in mee truck!----and then it woz onward to Shrewsbury, where we arrived at '2:55pm bells'!

With loads on time on wor hands before the 7:30 bells kick off, we did a mini pub crawl aroond the many bars in the toon centre after dumping wor bags at wor digs!


Anothaa new groond for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers woz ticked off the list when we visited Shrewbury's (nearly) new abode on the very outskirts of the town next to an industrial estate and retail park, some 3 miles from the toon centre!
Some of the 50 odd Toon fans in the away section
Lookin towards the sparsely filled main stand

The Shrews were far too strong for this young Magpies team and we were soundly beaten by the Leegue One side in front of a sparse crowd, which seems to be the norm in this competition!
It's a nice 10,000 seater stadium, but it's on the wrang place!!!
(Their old Gay Meadow groond woz near the toon centre!)

Anyway!  We fell behind in the 22nd minute when a Shrewsbury player who's name I cant remember put them in front with a shot inside the box
Their lead woz doubled in the 33rd minute when Cummins sent in a powerful header which beat Dan Langley The Toon keeper, aall ends up!

We reely wornt at the races and this woz a poor show indeed!

We were a bit better in the 2nd half as we kicked towards the 55 Toon faithful in the stand behind that goal! (I counted 65 but the official coont woz 10 less?----must 'clue up' on mee maths!)

Allen and Fernandez both hit the woodwork, but it woz the home side who put the final nail in wor coffin when Edwards fired in with just 3 mins left on the clock with just 3 minutes left of the 90!

A bad result which puts us oot of the competition as we sit bottom of the group with just 1 game to play (v Port Vale)

A nice touch happened at the end, when the tannoy annooncer said that 55 Newcasil fans were in the away end, which brought loud applause from the home section. The 55 NUFC fans applauded their appreciation back! (Divvint forget, this woz wor RESORVE team v their forst team!)

The 'drowning of the sorrows' took place in 'The Nags Head' back in the centre of Shrewsbury, but not before having to wait half an hour for wor pre booked taxi to pick us up from the groond! (Nee tip for him, then!)
"WHERE'S THE TAXI---LIKE?"

NEXT DAY
We had to get 3 trains back today (Wednizday)---One from Shrewsbury to Stockport (near Manchester!)---One from Stockport to Donny---and one from Donny to The Toon
Wor last train woz delayed coz of a fire on a train at Croxdale near Darlo station---and a 'jumper' at Newark station!---The FIFTH train journey to an away game 'in a row', where we have been delayed this season!😳

Updated 3:48pm bells'
The f***in' train never torned up after waitin' an hour and a half--- so in desperation, we jumped on a Cross Country train with LNER tickets!
The ticket inspector said it woz ok to get on!

Will be claimin a full refund YET AGAIN!

Updated '4:50pm bells' onwards
We eventually arrived back at 'The Central' (station) at '4:45 bells' and aa caught a bus yem.  Had a quick nosebag and an update on this story and then went to work to drive back to-----(YEEV GUESSED IT!)------MANCHESTER!!!

Much more on this story tomorrow, when aa get the time.
 I am writing this on mee mobile tellin' bone at the mo!

PS: Aa naa it soonds az though we 'make some of theeze stories up' ---but its TRUE---here iz a photo of the train fire az reported in 'The Ronny Gill'!

*PUB CRAWL PIX---EVENTUALLY!
PICCADILLY TAP, MANCHESTER (BETWEEN TRAINS)

THE ALB, SHREWSBURY (PRE MATCH)

BULL INN

3 FISHES

THE WHEATSHEAF

THE NAGS HEAD (POST MATCH)


*Updated Thorsday dinnaatime

My tales of woe didn't end when aa got off the train.
I went to work at '7:00pm bells' (Wedinzday) to find that there woz nee diesel in the wagon and no fuel card!
I had to phone a gaffer up who woz at home and woz 'non too pleezed' when he torned up at '7:30 bells' to open the warehouse and get me a diesel card!
After fillin' the diesel tank up I eventually left for Manchester at '8:00 bells' and because of that the 'A1M' woz shut for 12 miles in north Yorkshire for owerneet roadworks and the 'M62' woz shut near Leeds!
On the way back (and to put anothaa spanner in the works!) the 'A1M' woz shut near Durham!
"HELP!"



Monday, 21 September 2020

BAD BLUE BOYS 2 THE SUB MARINERS 1 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE NORTH WEST DIVISION

 Posted '7:00pm bells' Munday 21st September 2020


"BAD BLUE BOYS SINK SUB MARINERS!"

Wor non Leegue 'sorte' continued, with nee Toon game to gan tee, and we heeded for the Dunston clubhoose where the home team were playin Marine from Liverpoool!

Because if the new 'bat out of hell's corona virus restrictions, table sorvice woz the order of the day and the former Dunston manager caalled Billy, (who won the FA Vase at Wembley in 2012) woz wor waiter and he took some stick I can tell yoo!

Billy had been renamed 'Manuel' off the Fawlty Towers programmes, az we demanded fast sorvice, az we clicked wor fingers! (How the mighty have fallen!)

Anyway!-- it woz soon kick off time az we had wor temperatures and phone numbers taken at the entrance gate (35.8) and we made wor way to wor usual standing place near the main stand!


Disappointingly, there woz a much smaller crowd than aa anticipated, (200 woz my guess) az 300 were expected!

Marine, playin' in predominantly yellow shirts (wot else!) got off to the better start and attacked 'The Tea Hut End' in the forst half!



They took the lead in the 40th minute when a great looping shot went ower Dunston keeper Liam Connell, to put the visitors 1-0 up!

Which brought loud cheers and applause from the half dozen or so diehards, who had travelled across the Pennines 

TYNESIDE 0  MORSEYSIDE 1 HT


'The Bad Blue Boys' were much better in the 2nd period as THEY attacked 'The Tea Hut End' and the equaliser came in the 63rd minute, after Dunston's Jake Stafford had hit a tremendous shot which shook the crossbar! The baall fell nicely in front of Dunston's Mark Fitzpatrick and after a scramble a Marine defender put the baall into his own net as the baall rickoshaded off him! (The goal woz later given to Fitzy, but it looked like an own goal from where aa woz standin'?)


TYNESIDE 1  MORSEYSIDE 1

And then the main takin point of the game when a high baall woz challenged by their keeper and  'Fitzy', Dunston's centre forward, the keeper fell to the groond and gave oot a loud cry az he held his back in an attempt to con the ref and get the Dunston player sent off! (see pix below)


He woz rollin ower and wavin' hiz legs in the air, az though he been shot by a sniper! COMICAL!---DISGRACEFUL!


                                                                          ^
(Cynical play actin' in the extreeeme)

The ref woz having 'non of it' and restarted the game after 5 minutes of stoppage to tend to the keepers non existent 'back injury'!)

And then the winnin' goal in the 82nd minute. Dunston's Liam Thear woz hacked doon in the box and the ref pointed straight to the spot!

Terry Galbraith took it and sent their keeper the wrang way to put 'The Bad Blue Boys' 2-1 up! --- JUSTICE!

Marine tried in vain to find an equaliser, but Dunston held on to take the points and sink the Sub Mariners!



TYNESIDE 2  MORSEYSIDE 1  FT


PS: At full time their goalie woz sent off for arguing with the ref?

Offical attendance:186 (I woz 14 oot with mee 200 guess, which didn't included up to 3 freebee watchin from ower the fence, on the far side from us!) (6 or 7 Sub Mariners!)





SPOT THE MISSPRINT?
'DUNTSON' instead of 'DUNSTON'!





Sunday, 20 September 2020

THE TOON 0 NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021

 Posted '4:17pm bells' Sunday 20th September 2020

Updated Munday from '10:35am bells'


"HORROR SHOW AT SJP!"----"NORMAL SORVICE RESUMED!"




Just ONE line 'max' on wor attakin' performance!
NEE shots on target = 'NEE goals'!
UPSTAIRS IN ROSIES AZ THE GAME KICKS OFF!


Wot can we say aboot thiz abysmal performance?
Not much reeely, az Brightin were streets aheed of us in tactics and knowhow!
It took them just 3 minutes to open the scorin, when Saint-Maximin needlessly fouled Lamptey in the box to give an orly spot kick at The Gallowgate End!
Maupay made nee misstayk az he hammered the baall into the centre of the goal with Darlow in The Toon goal gannin the wrang way and unable to stop it!

It woz soon 2-0 to wor visitors from the sooth coast, when Maupay scored hiz second goal after just SEVEN minutes on the clock, when he clipped the baall into the far corner of the net!
A lang VAR check said he WASN'T offside and so the goal stood!

The mood in Rosies Bar near to SJP woz one of dispair, az despite aall 4 new players on show, it woz 'Normal sorvice resumed' from last season!
With nee shots on target az we attacked The Leazes End, it woz on the cards that the 3 points would be heedin sooth!
By half time we still hadn't had a clear shot on goal--truely shockin'!
A RARE TOON ATTACK ON THE LEAZES GOAL!

The second period woz nee better az *'Nee Where Near' Brightin went for the jugular, hittin the woodwork twice before put the final nail in wor coffin in the 83rd minute, when Connolly beat Lascelles to the baall to hit hiz shot into the corner of the goal!
The anly notable effort we had on goal iz when Wilson heeded wide from an unmarked position inside the penalty area----and that woz it!
Just when it looked that we would avoid a relegation battle with wor fine 2-0 win at West Ham last week, then we are brought back doon to orth, with the reality, that we ARE! 


 

*PS: We say 'Nee Where Near Brightin', az their groond iz miles away in the countryside!

THE TOON V NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN *** THIS AFTERNOOON AT SJP (BCD)

 Posted '10:25am bells' Sunday 20th September 2020



The Toon play wor forst home game of the new season v Brightin in a '2:00 bells kick off!

We are gannin to Rosie's Bar near St. James' Park to watch it and hopefully we will repeat the great performance at West Ham last week, where we won 2-0

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---Az well az a report from the Dunston v Marine game, which we attended yesterday (Dunston won 2-1) (I intended to dee Dunston's match report today, but unfortunately I havvint got time az the boozers are open soon!)

Az per usual "Watch this space!"---tomorrow!

Saturday, 19 September 2020

'BAD BLUE BOYS' V 'THE SUB MARINERS' OF MARINE *** NORTHERN PREMIER LEEGUE NORTH WEST DIVISION

 Posted '10:31am bells' Saturday 19th September 2020



Az The Toon arnt playin til tomorrow afternooon (on the telly), we are off to see 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston play 'The Sub Mariners' of Marine, who hail from Crosby in Liverpoool!  And of course their home shirts include the colour yellow!


This is the first game of the leegue season and a canny crowd iz expected.  400 maximum, but its pay at the gate (£7 big kids and £4 for sprogs and zimmerframeites!)and the attendance will probably be aroond aboot the 300 mark!  The game kicks off at '3:00 bells' at the UTS Stadium in Dunston (aka Federation Park)





A full Geordie Times match report on the game will appear here, eethaa later tooneet or orlyish on Sunday!



Friday, 18 September 2020

"NOW WE CAN'T EVEN WATCH THE MATCH TOGETHER ON THE TELLY NOW!" Update: "OH YES WE CAN!"

 Posted '3:00pm bells' Friday 18th September 2020

EVEN THE MOVIN' HEADS HAVE GOT TO 'SOCIALY DISTANCE' AND 
WEAR FACE MASKS IN 'ROSIES BAR'!

With the new restrictions in the north eest affectin' 2 million people, we can't even meet friends in a pub nuw, to watch Toon games together!  

Aa booked at table for 6 upstairs in 'Rosies Bar' near SJP for wor home game v Brightin on Sunday---BUT!---today a'v had 2 phone caalls off mates to say that because we can't sit together, they arn't comin' now!

This will be devastatin news for AALL 'liquid lubrication locations' (pubs!), az they will be forced to torn a group of 6 friends away, for fear of a spot check, and ultimate closure!

I am gannin into 'Rosies' later today (On mee own!) to find oot exactly wot the situation iz, but I fear that they will tell me that anly ONE of us will be allowed in, az we are not related or live in the same hoosehold!

That's one person drinkin up to 6 pints durin the match, instead of 36 pints between us!

It will surely finish off many of the pubs that HAVE reopened since restrictions were lifted and sadly 2 historic pubs, 'The Crown Posada' near the Quayside (The Toons oldest pub, opened in the 1700s!) and 'The Star' on Westgate Road, will be closed for good! (so we hear!)

I will let yoo naa just wot they tell me in 'Rosies' when aa gan for me normal 'liquid lubrications'!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!" for forthaa news! 


Updated '3:10pm bells'

Just hord, aall the bar staff in Fitzys, The Bacchus and not surprisingly, The Crown Pasada have been made redundant! (Aall city centre boozers!)


Updated '4:55pm bells'

Accordin to manageress of Rosie's there are NO restrictions on 6 friends meeting for match in bar!

Sign on door of Rosies


It's not law!

ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST