Tuesday, 31 October 2023

THE HALLOWEEN BAG JINX STRIKES AGAIN!

 Posted 'high noon bells' on Halloween Munday 31st Octobaa 2023

HAZ A GHOST NICKED MY BAG?"

9 years ago on Halloween 2014, Colonel Gadaffi (NOT the one from Libya---the one from Bracknell in Berkshire!) stopped owerneet for wor game v Livaapoool and when he went back to hiz hotel he foond hiz owerneet bag woz missin from hiz room! Had a Halloween ghost nicked it, or wot? (He'd went to the wrang floor!)

This time before wor game v Villa he left hiz bag on the number 11 bus on hiz way to hiz west end hotel in Newcasil----He had to gan to Argos and buy anothaa one plus some toiletries and a change of clothes!

The Livaapool one iz a classic and we have reproduced it again on the Halloween annivorsary (see below)

THE TOON 1 THE LIVERBIRDS 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '11:15am bells' Sunday 2nd November 2014
Reposted 'high noon bells' Halloween 2023

"WHO'S BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED?"

John 'The Undertaker's' funeral had been the day before and 'The Colonel' (he's 'the spit' of deposed 'crackpot' Colonel Gadaffi!) waz stoppin' owerneet in The Rowers Hotel in Dunston to go the funeral and then the match against The Liverbirds the next day. (He lives in Bracknell in Berkshire)

We'd had quite a few drinks in celebration of 'The Undertaker's' life and after hiz funeral in The Toon and after a canny few drinks in various hostelries, I showed 'The Colonel where the hotel waz on the Friday evenin' and he dropped hiz owerneet bag off in 'Room 1' on the 1st floor of the hotel.

Az he waz droppin' hiz bag off  aa asked the hotel manager if he waz full that neet!  "We're fully booked", he said,  "But some of our business guests have been unavoidably delayed and won't get here til the mornin'!" <(an important point---reeed on!)

We then went on 'the hoy' in Dunston takin' in The Royal Hotel bar and The Tudor Rose bar where a Halloween party waz takin' place with the locals dressed up az ghouls, witches and devils with horns stickin' oot of their heeds and there waz even one idiot in a gorilla suit!
"THERE'S A GHOST IN THE HOUSE!" *** TUDOR ROSE

"Have yoo seen them?" 'The Colonel' said, and I told him that this waz the NORMAL dress attire in Dunston!

Anyway!---aa finally left him in a dishevelled and inebriated state 'late on' and arranged to meet him the next mornin' @ '10 bells' to gan to the match which kicked off @ '12:45 bells'

"Yi'll nevaa guess wot happened to me last night!?" he said when he torned up---and aa had visions of him tellin' me that he couldn't find hiz way back to the hotel!

But a more bizarre set off events had taken place!

He DID find the hotel and went to hiz room (which he'd forgot to lock!?) and 'crashed oot' "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"

Next mornin' he awoke and opened the curtains and he could see that he had a view of the River Tyne from hiz window!
He couldn't understand why, az when he had went to hiz room the previous night to drop hiz bag off, he had a view of the road that leads to Dunston's futbaall groond?

He decided he needed a shave and went to get hiz owerneet bag which he'd left on a chair beside the bed---but it wasn't there!---he searched the room and even looked under the bed to see if it waz there---but it wasn't!???----(it waz Halloween wasn't it---spooky!) Someone must have sneaked in and 'nicked it' while he waz asleep, he thought and he went doon to reception to complain to the manageress of the hotel!

She went back upstairs with him and like a scene from 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears', she discovered that in fact he'd went back to the WRANG ROOM when he'd came back and had slept in the WRANG BED!--hence the 'Tyne view' he had and 'ne bag' in the room! <(yi couldn't make it up!)

Obviously the room he'd slept in WAZ for the (still un-arrived!) business people the hotel manager had told me aboot the neet before!

Imagine the scenario if the delayed business people HAD arrived orly in the mornin'???---A Beautiful blonde bimbo businesswoman arrives exhausted and gans to hor room!
She hoys hor 'kit off' and dives into bed--anly to discover a 'Colonel Gadaffi' lookalike snorin' hiz heed off on the next pillow!
A 'Halloween Horror Story' if ever there waz one!!!!  



Anyway!---off we set for The Toon and he got 'a load of merciless stick', aboot it, aa can tell yiz!

It waz then 'match time' and we heeded for wor seats.
The Toon started off the better of the 2 sides and went close on a couple of occasions. The Liverbirds were not very good and couldn't muster a shot durin' the 1st half and they were lucky not to be behind at the interval when at least one penalty decision went against us!
THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END (1st HALF)

The visitors were a bit better in the 2nd period but The Toon stuck in and went for 'the jugular'.
The breakthrough came in the 73rd minute when a Sissoko pass was blocked by Mereno, but it fell nicely for Perez and he whacked the baall into the net from just inside the box to put us one-nil up, to huge roars from the crowd!

It shud have been two just eight minutes later when Cabella waz put through by Sissoko and with anly Mignonet to beat in The Liverbirds goal he shot by the keeper managed to push the baall around the post to deny him!

It 'mattered not' though!---and we held on to record wor FOURTH win in a row and move up to the dizzy heights of 11th in the table!
ACTION @ THE GALLOWGATE END DURIN' THE 2nd HALF

After the match me and 'The Colonel' heeded for 'The Bodega on Westgate Road where he left hiz owerneet bag under a table!

Sometime later he looked for it, but (again!) it wasn't there? and had mysteriously moved by itself to an alcove above a door!----very spooky! 
"HOW DID THAT GET UP THERE!???"

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Coloccini, Steve Taylor, Dummett, Sissoko, Abeid, Colback, Obertan (Aarons 27), Cisse (Perez 46), Sammy Ameobi (Cabella 66)

Attendance: 52,166 (3,200 Liverbirds)

Sunday, 29 October 2023

Wolverhampton Wanabeez 2. The Toon 2 …Premyaa Leegue 2023-2024

 Posted from 11:00am bells’ onwards Sunday 29th Octobaa 2023 on the train back from Wolves


Callum Wilson’s penalty to put us 2-1 up!



“Don’t let it rain on me!”



For the 2nd game in a row we played in torrential rain and as have to say that wor players divvint like it!

After some Wolves pressure only on, it woz US who made the breakthrough at ThecSouth Bank end in the 22nd minute when Callum Wilson did a spectacular owerheed kick from close range to give us the lead!


Toon fans celebrate Wilson’s 1st goal!

The rain woz chucking it doon az Wolves went for the equaliser and it came 15 mins later when Laminate heeded past The Pope in the Toon to level the score!


Deep into stoppage time we were awarded a controversial penalty when Chan fouled Fab Schaefer on the edge of the box!

After a very lengthy VAR check the spot kick woz given and up stepped Callum Wilson to fire home his 8th goal of the season az in the home goal got a hand to it but couldn’t stop the baall hittin the back of the net!

HT 2-1 to us!


Wolves came oot in the 2nd period with aall guns blazin az the heavy rain continued!

Anothaa equaliser came in the 72nd minute when Chan fired home into the corner of the goal!

We were out of sorts az they went for the winner!

NUFC had chances az well, but the game ended in stalemate after 8 mins of extra time!

In the end as woz happy for a point az the players clapped the 3,000 Toon fans—-and vice verser 

One change from Dortmund starting line up—-Wilson for the injured Isak


Attendance:  31,584 (3,000 Toon fans who got very wet after the game!)

Magical Mystery Pub Crawl Tour 2023-2024

Just 3 drinking dens this time! Video footage az well! Runnin total 40



The Wellington  Birmingham






The London North Western  Birmingham station



85 Cafe Bar  Travelodge Birmingham International


Friday, 27 October 2023

WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ v THE TOON *** LATE TOMORROW AFTERNOOON

 Posted '1:11pm bells' Friday 27th Octobaa 2023

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE!---A 1-1 DRAW IN AUGUST 2022 
(TOON IN WHITE AND GREEN)

We heed to 'the black country' tomorrow, where we take on Wolves at Molineux----A groond aa forst visited way back in 1968 when we lost 5-0!----Not so good memories! (See archive section)

NUFC have a depleted squad with Harvey Barnes, Sven Botman, Alexander Isak, Jacob Murphy and Elliot Anderson oot through various injuries---and of course Sandro Tonali iz suspended til the start of next season for illegal gamblin'!



We are gannin doon by Sarnie Steve's 'jam jar' orly tomorrow mornin---stoppin' owerneet in Bormingham and gettin the train back to Tyneside on Sunday mornin' (Sarnie Steve iz workin' near Reading on Munday---so we have to get the train back!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here az we travel back on the train!---Spelllin mistayks and aall, az aa dee it on mee mobile 'tellin' bone', az the train jolts from side to side!


Thursday, 26 October 2023

THE TOON 0 BORUSSIAAA DORTMUND 1 *** CHAMPIONS LEEGUE GROUP STAGE 2023-2024

 Posted from '1:30 pm bells' onwards, Thorzday 25th Octobaa 2023


FINE MAGINS PROVES COSTLY!

I divvint naa just wot wor fans expected last neet, did they expect Dortmund to roll ower like PSG in the previous Champions Leegue home game???---Whey! that woz never gannin to happen and the alarm bells rang orly az the Jawman's had 3 orly chances to take the lead at The Gallowgate End az the rain p*ssed doon!

We had chances worsels but couln't make the breakthrough az chances went a'beggin with Anthony Gordon missin 2 and yoo just knew that this game wouldnt end goalless!

Isak had to be replaced after 15 mins by Wilson az he had a groin problem which iz a worry az wor injury list grows!

The one and anly breakthrough fell to wor visitors bang on 45 minutes when Nmecha fired home from the edge of the box to silence the Toon fans and send the drum beatin' 3,000 Dortmund fans wild with delight, high up in the gods of The Leazes End! HT 0-1



The Toon fans were very quiet at times in the 2nd period, not used to bein' behind and the heavy rain didnt help, az many of them were soaked to the skin, especially in The Gallowgate End az the wind drove the rain into them near the front rows!

Tonali and Murphy came on near the midpoint of the half, but Murphy didnt last lang az he had to be replaced by Willock after just 5 mins due to a bad shoulder injury!

We just couldn't make the breakthrough az we laid seige to the Gallowgate goal



We had 2 chances near the end when we hit the bar twice through a Callum Wilson heeder and a Anthony Gordon shot, which deflected of a defender!  On anothaa day those efforts would have went in off the bar, but agonisingly not this time az we lost for the forst time after 8 undefeated games previously!

Thats 1 win, 1 draw and 1 defeat in the group stage to send us from top to 3rd place despite havin a better goal difference that Dortmund, az the went above us to 2nd place on the 'head to head' rule!

PSG beat AC Milan 3-0 to top the group!



Attendance:52,000 (3,000 Dortmund)




Dortmund fans marchin’ to the groond (gannin past The Leazes End Companions boozer near SJP!)


News today that Tonali haz been banned for 10 months for breachin bettin rules comes az nee suprize eethaa! 

More pix and some videos to follow later!


Wednesday, 25 October 2023

THE TOON U19s 1. BORUSSIAAA DORTMUND U19s 2 —- UEFA YOUTH LEEGUE

 Posted ‘6:35pm bells’ Wedinzday 24th Octobaa 2023




Brief match report

The Toon young guns took on Dortmund you find at Gatesheed Stadium this afternoon and lost 2-1 to a strong Dortmund team in heavy drizzle!

It woz 1-0 to the Jawman’s by half time and they increased their lead idly in the 2nd period!



We pulled one back with a glorious effort from number 88 Sean Neave who had came on from the subs bench!

Unfortunately  we couldn’t find an equaliser and so we suffered wor 3rd defeat in a row in the UEFA Youth Leegue for U19s teams in the Champions Leegue!


Attendance: 800ish (quite a few Dortmund fans in the far corner of the picture below!


Main match report for the big boys at SJP sometime tomorrow!


Tuesday, 24 October 2023

THE TOON v BORUSSIAAA DORTMUND **** TOMORROW NEET!

 Posted '12:40pm bells' Tuezday 24th Octobaa 2023



We gan into this Champions Leegue group stage game, 8 games undefeated in 3 competitions, after yet anothaa great performance on Saturday, when we beat The Paliss 4-0 at SJP

News awaits of Sandro Tonali's fate for gamblin on games and we fear that he will be oot of action til at the very least the start of next season! (The Geordie Times will bring yoo news of that here, az soon az we find oot)

It shud be anothaa great occasion tomorrow in wor 3rd Champions Leegue game so far!

We top the group of course and a win would virtually qualify us for the knockoot stage in 2024! It's a complete sell oot of course with Dortmund takin their full allocation of 3,000 tickets! (NUFC fans have been given 3,900 for the retorn game in 2 weeks, in a stadium that holds ower 81,000!)

Before that game, wor U19s are in action at Gatesheed Stadium v Dortmund's U19s, a game that kicks off at '3:00 bells' in the European Youth Leegue---game 3 (we lost the previous 2 v AC Milan and PSG!)

A match report on both games will appear here in due course!

Sunday, 22 October 2023

THE TOON 4 THE PALISS 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwardsSunday 21st Octobaa 2023



"THE IRONY OF IT AALL!"

Freya waves a ‘Wor Flag’ before kick off! (Wor Flags are magic!)πŸ‘

Before kick off the Paliss fans unveiled banners at The Leazes End, condemin the Saudi takeower, but ignorin the fact that one of their own club sponsers were from Saudi Arabia az well! (Irony of the highest order!)

The advertising’ boards from last season at Selhurst Park above!
And below the banners in the Paliss end which says: ‘Mask has slipped.  PIF .Saudi state. EPL take action’



Anothaa fabulous performance from The Toon, who blew away Paliss and their bitter and twisted fans at St. James' Park yesterday afternooon!

The goal sequences were az follows:

4th minute: Kieron Tripper send in a pinpoint pass to Jacob Murphy who curls the baall ower the Paliss defence and into the far corner of the net!---A VAR check for offside gans in wor favour and so we are 1-0 up!

44th minute: Anthony Gordon finally gets on the score sheet after hittin the woodwork orlier on, when he struck a fabulous shot across the Gallowgate goal to double wor lead!

45+2: It woz soon 3-0 when Sean Longstaff raced doon the pitch to hit a screamer past Johnstone in the visitors goal and soon after the ref blew hiz whistle for the half time break!

A breathless performance from The Toon!

Before aall this sub Tonali woz warmin up on the side of the pitch to huge applause from the NUFC fans, who sang hiz name! (He of course faces a lenghty ban for bettin on games!)

Az he woz warmin up the advertisin boards aroond the pitch were showin adverts for bettin firms, encouragin' people to gamble!

The irony of it aall! (Take 2!)




66th minute: The 2nd half wasnt az good az the forst half, az we sat back a little and let Paliss come at us a bit more!-----It did then nee good however az Callum Wilson raced doon the pitch clear of defenders from a Murphy threw baall, to plant the baall into the Leazes End net, to put the game to bed!


The 4th goal celebrations!πŸ€ͺπŸ‘⚽️

10 year old randdaughter Freya who woz attendin hor forst competitive Toon game and woz 'lovin it' —-and when in the 70th minute Tonali made an appearance from the subs bench, they woz more huge applause from the crowd who were reet behind wor Italian star! (see video below!)

Tonali’s brilliant reception from the Toon fans!πŸ‘


Freya thought the applause woz for the end of the match, but I told hor that there woz still 20 minutes to gan, and she said that she didnt want the match to end! (She woz indeed 'lovin it'!)



Attendance: 52,189 (Just 1,700 bitter and twisted Paliss fans who went to the trouble of makin the anti Saudi banners!) ("Get a life maan!") 

*

 

Friday, 20 October 2023

THE TOON v THE PALISS *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '4:50pm bells' Friday 20th Octobaa 2023

Cannit read Italian, but we can guess wot it says!

Storm Badet iz the main news on the telly today, with a yellow warnin for the north east of Ingerland, while on main sports channels (and papers), aall this week haz been aboot Sandro Tonali's bettin' addiction!----With a probable 1 year ban for wor £55 million summer acquisition!

The question IZ? will manager 'Steady Eddie' give him some game time tomorrow against Palliss, az this could be hiz last game til Octobaa 2024!?

The club are stickin' by him and (hopefully?) so will the Toon fans, but wethaa he will play iz anothaa question?



This iz the forst of 7 games in 22 days, followin the 2 week International break!---Its crazy when yoo Fink aboot it---nee games for 14 days and then 7 games in a short space of time, includin, Premyaa Leegue, Champions Leegue and Leegue Cup games! 

(This happened in the previous International break az well, with 7 games (undefeated!) in a short space of time, after a 2 week break!)

Storm Badet iz gatherin pace az aa write this and hopefully the rain and wind will die doon before kick off time at '3:00 bells'?




A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!---Az per usual--"Watch this space!"

Thursday, 12 October 2023

BORUSSIAAA DORTMUND AWAY TICKETS NOW ON SALE!

 Posted '12:51pm bells' Thorzday 12th Octobaa 2023

Updated Saturday

"FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK WAALL!"

Tickets for wor Champions Leegue game in Jawmany v Dortmund are now on sale to supporters with 80 loyalty points or more for the fixture on Tuezday Novembaa the 7th! (Points drop every day until they are sold!)

This iz one of the groonds aa want for mee 'bucket list' and aa cannit wait to gan and see the 'Yellow Waall', which iz one of the huge ends behind the goal at the Signal Induna Park, which haz a capacity of 81,365!

'The Geordie Times' understands that NUFC have been allocated 3,900 tickets and have asked for more!

PS: Just got a Dortmund ticket online!---but wot a carry on tryin to buy one!---Took half an hour before it let me buy a seat! (The NUFC ticket website iz crap!)

Saturday update:  The Geordie Times understands that there are 500 tickets left in the standin' area---Nee seat tickets left!

Monday, 9 October 2023

THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM 2 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 9th Octobaa 2023



London Stadium iz indeed a happy huntin groond az far az we are concerned, with 4 wins, 2 draws and anly one defeat in the 7 times we have been to their new London Stadium abode----and the anly disappointment woz the fact that we gave a goal away in the 89th minute and had to settle for a draw!

The forst goal woz scored by West Ham when The Pope moved away from his goal line and Sousak had the simple task of slottin the baall into the net in the 8th minute!

It woz a boilin hot day in east London and aa had to carry mee coat in a carrier bag az the temperature woz in the high 20s---the hottest aa can ever 'fink' of for a game in Octobaa!

We simply wornt at the races and the home side were faster onto the loose baalls in the forst half and we went in 1-0 doon at the break!

At this point because of wor lack luster performance aa would have been happy with a draw!


The 2nd half woz much better az we attacked the goal where we were behind---row 5 at the front wasnt a good view of the action at the far end, but woz excellent az we were near to the goal!

Alexander the Great (Isak) torned oot to be wor savior with 2 goals in quick succession to waken us up in the heat! 

Wor equaliser came in the 57th minute when a Trippier free kick foond the feet of Isak after a deflection and he fired home in front of the 3,000 travellin fans to send us into 'wake up mode'!

Toon fans celebrate Isak’s 1st goal!

Isak's 2nd goal came just 3 minutes later to put us 2-1 up az the Toon fans---who were still celebratin hiz forst goal-- went into meltdoon in the heat, when a Trippier cross foond him unmarked in front of goal and he casually placed the baall into the net!

And just 3 mins later!

Isak then roonded the West Ham keeper, but hiz shot rebounded off the post to safety to deny him hiz hat-trick!

Just when it looked as though we would get the 3 points up stepped at the far end to equalise with an 89th minute shot to break wor hearts!

2-2 the final score----a game we just couldnt get ower the line, but on the bright side (in the sun!) we are unbeaten in 7 games between International breaks in aall competitions, with 5 wins and 2 draws!

We'll settle for that! 



Attendance: 62,473 (3,000 Toon fans)

*”Get the flags oot for the lads!”






Magical Mystery Away Pub Crawl Tour 2023-2024 (Just 2 boozers this time!) runnin total 37



Beer Merchants Tap. Hackney Wick. London


Betjemans Arms. St Pancras . London


Hackney Wick canal. Green river!

Hackney Wick mural 



  




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