Friday 31 August 2012


Posted '9:50pm bells' Friday 31st August 2012

The draw for the group stage of the Europa League haz been made today and it haz been very, very! kind to us, with trips to the holiday island of Madeira near the Canary Islands ('A' on the map), Bordeaux in champagne capital of France! (B) and Brugge in beer capital of Belgium! (C
(The Toon iz 'D' on the map)

This avoids the feared and dreaded trips 'to the back of beyond' in places like Azerbiajan, Ukraine, Torkey and Israel!

Matches to be played on the followin' dates:

Thorsday 20th September***Maritimo of Madeira, Portugal 

Thorsday 4th October***Bordeaux of France

Thorsday 25th October***Brugge of Belgium

Thorsday 8th November***Brugge of Belgium

Thorsday 22nd November***Maritimo of Madeira, Portugal

Thorsday 6th December***Bordeaux of France

Thursday 30 August 2012


Updated '5.45am bells' Friday 31st August 2012

A very fortuitous win against win against Greek unknowns Atromitos<(had yee ever hord of them before!?) sent The Toon, playin' in their new 'Yellow Peril' 'high viz jacket coloured' change kit into the group stage of the Europa League with 'super sub' Haris Vuckic's deflected winner in the 22nd minute of the forst half @ 'The Leazes End', estimated to end up costin' 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' aroond aboot £2,000 each for the next three away games in the group stage! (at least an average of £600 (plus!) a trip, (inc. beer money etc!) we thinx!---dependin' on where we're heedin'?)
(Vuckic had replaced Ryan Taylor in the 11th minute, who had fell awkwardly on the Milburn Stand touchline)

We were very lucky to win this game, az the visitors had quite a few chances to level things, after wor opener had sent the near 30,000 faithful wild with delight! (40 or so Atromitos fans)

Two heart stoppin' penalty appeals by the visitors in each half were waved away by the Swiss ref who booked the offendin' players for divin'! (many refs would have given both pens!)

Really there's nothin' more to add except to say that there waz 'A bad moon 'a' risin' above 'The Gallowgate End' durin' the 2nd half of this lack lustre display! (see photo!) 

On the final whistle the tannoy annooncer telt us that we had been drawn away to Man U in the 3rd roond of the League Cup!<(at least we won't have to fork oot for a Wembley final ticket in this competition now!)

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor (Vuckic 11), Bigirimana, Perch (Tavernier 60), Marveaux (Amalfitano 92), Obertan Gosling, Ba

Attendance: 29,242

'The Magical Mystery Tour' of Europe sets off again today at 'high noon bells' (when the draw iz made for the group stage!) (fingers crossed that it's not Azerbaijan etc!)

"Wwwwatch this space!!!!"



Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 30th August 2012

In complete contrast to last Thorsday, when we awoke in Athens to 100 degree plus temperatures and signs at their groond sayin' 'Welcome to Hell', in Greek, the Atromitos players and fans would have thought that this waz 'Hell on Earth' az they awoke this mornin' on Tyneside to torrential rain, gale force winds and freezin' caad temperatures!

This can anly be good news az far az we are concorned, az the caader it gets the more chance we have of beatin' them to progress to the 'Group stage' of the Europa League! (the 5-1 demolition of Vitoria Setubal in the 'Inter Cities Fairs Cup', in the heavy snow, way back in 1969, springs to mind!---somethin', the Spaniards of that time had never seen!)

'The Magical Mystery Tour' draw iz tomorrow dinnertime and we await it with trepidation az to just where we will be gannin this time!??? (IF ? we progress!???)

The Toon will wear their new 'Yellow Peril' change strip this evenin' @ '8 bells' and we can anly assume that that the probable line up will be wor 'shadow squad' again, that drew 1-1 in Greece last week!?

The draw for the League Cup thord roond takes place toneet (when wor match will still be in progress!) with the possibility of FOWER! new groonds for the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers'! to visit, namely, Burton Albion, Crawley Toon, Northampton Toon and MK Dons< (carnt wait!)

Az per usual---match report and League Cup draw to follow much later 

PS  apologeeez for not updatin' the trip to Athens last week, but a'v been 'stowed off' with work and will update it ASAP!

Wednesday 29 August 2012


Posted '4:00pm bells' Wednesday 29th August 2012

The draw for the thord roond of the League Cup iz due to take place tomorrow neet DURIN' wor game against Atromitos in the Europa League @ St James' Park!--so we won't be able to watch it live!

Possible new groonds to visit are Crawley Toon, Burton Albion and MK Dons! <(Carnt wait!) for the prize of a Wembley final!

The draw for wor 'Magical Mystery Tour' of Europe meeenwhile takes place at dinnertime om Friday! (SHUD we get through!???)
The permutations for this however, are 'mind bogglin'!!!

More on the Atromitos game tomorrow!

Tuesday 28 August 2012


Posted '6:10pm bells' Tuesday 28th August 2012

News that wor former chief executive Freddie Fletcher haz 'passed away' haz reached 'The Geordie Times'.
Freddie will best be remembered for formin' The Platinum Club and Bar 1892 in the John Haall era.

He was aalso responsible for the controversial 'bond scheme' where we were telt to cough up £500 to guarantee wor seats for 10 years, anly to be telt later that we were anly guaranteed 'A' seat! (in the smaall print of the bond!)

Wor seats were in The Milburn Stand in line with the Gallowgate 18 yard box and this waz to be renamed Bar 1892 with extortionate price increases.
We refused to pay and were forced to leave wor seats for inferior ones in the rebuilt Milburn Stand 'level 7' with ower 200 stairs to climb to reach wor new seats!
He waz then renamed 'Freddie The Fleece' by irate fans who had lost their prime view seats!
THAT'S what many fans will remember Freddie for!

Sunday 26 August 2012


Posted '2:40pm bells' Sunday 26th August 2012


Wor second game in less than 48 hours followin' wor draw against Atromitos of Greece on Thorsday neet started at '5:30 bells', but torrential rain, thunder and lightnin' (in complete contrast to the 100 plus heat of Athens!) threatented to have the game postponed and it wasn't until half an hour before kick off that the rain eased and the old 'current bun' came to wor rescue.

The match however could not be 'rescued' after Torres got a dodgy lookin' penalty for Chelski which waz convorted by Hazard.
The thunder and lightnin' then retorned but it anly fired up the home side and they went 'two up' deep into forst half stoppage time with a fine strike from Torres.

We came oot in the second half with aall guns blazin' but it waz to ne avail despite good chances to score by Cisse and Ba near the end.

Anly TWO of the startin' line up in Athens started here, namely, Anita (makin' his league debut) and Cisse.

Toon team: Krul, Simpson (Ryan Taylor 64), Coloccini, Steven Taylor, Santon (Marveaux 74), Cabye (Perch 77), Anita, Gutierrez, Ben Arfa, Cisse, Ba

Attendance: 41,718 (1,500 Toon fans)

After the match it waz back to King's Cross to catch the last train yem (but not befor gettin' a soakin' waalkin' back to the tube station!) and aa arrived yem at 12:30 am bells on Sunday mornin' havin' left the hoose for Greece at '7:30am bells' on Wednesday mornin'!----It's a hard life gannin on 'the hoy' for fower days! 


Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 26th August 2012

A much langer version of the match/drink report below will follow later when aa get time!---like!
Chelski report later today---sometime!

(Ground number 290)
Date of First Visit: 23rd August 2012
Municipal Stadium of Peristeri, Athens, Greece

Atromitos 1  The Toon 1 (Ryan Taylor) ("through the waall!"

Europa League 4th Rd Qualifyin' 1st leg

Attendance: eetha! 4,872 or! 5,002? (90 Toon fans ('The Bear' coonted them!) (47 tickets sold from NUFC) (plus! 200 or so watchin' from their balconies!) (Er!--plus a doggie waalkin alang the far terrace! (see photo below!)

"SPOT THE DOGGIE!" (middle of photo)
("Er!"---yi might need a magnifyin' glass!)

"100 IN A ROW!" (Whey!--IF!? yi include the Anglo-Italian Cup!---like!)

The epic and lang jorney to Athens began @ '7:30 am bells' from wor hoose to the bus stop some 100yards distant on Wednesday mornin'!
Then it waz a 10 minute ride to 'The Central' to catch wor train to King's Cross--then anotha train to Gatwick Airport and finally the flight to Athens (followed by an hours tube ride to the city centre where wor hotel waz situated!) where we arrived some 12 hours afta leavin' Tyneside!

The temperature waz ower the 100 mark az we dumped wor bags in The Hotel Arethusa and we heeded straight for the forst 'liquid refreshment stop' ower the road.
A few more 'liquid stops' later and we eventually retired for the evenin! "ZZZZzzzz!!!!"

Next day it waz even hotter and az the match didn't kick off til '8:00 bells' we had aall day to sample the 'delights' of Athens, makin' sure to keep oot of the suns rays az we didn't want to get bornt to death!

It waz then oward to the groond which waz situated in the western suborbs of the capital.

The groond waz just wot we expected (a dump!) and on three sides of the groond the people of the high rise villas had an uninterupted view of the proccedings from their roof terraces and balconies (estimated 200 freebeez!)

Dan Gosling touched the baall forst az we kick off towards the end The Toon fans were hoosed behind a runnin' track and this meant that aa had nuw seen The Toon play in 100 consecutive European club competition games in a row strechin' way back to 1977! (Er!--this includes 6 games in the Anglo-Italian Cup az well!) 

However!---things didn't start off well and the home side were oot of their blocks quicker than we were and took the lead when Epstein hit a low shot past Steve Harper in The Toon goal.

The equaliser came deep into injury time when Gosling was fouled and from 25 yards oot Ryan Taylor (who else!?) hit one of his famous free kick 'screamers' 'ower the waall' into the back of the net, givin' the Atromitos keeper 'ne chance' and send the 90 Toon faithful into joyous celebrations! 

Marveaux the magician, Kuqi and Obertan then had chances to score in the second period, but couldn't find the back of the net and we had to settle for a ones each draw to take to the second leg next Thorsday @ St James'

Toon team: Harper, Taverier, Perch, Williamson, Ryan Taylor, Bigirimana, Anita, Marveaux, (Gutierrez 70), Obertan, Gosling (Amalfitano 64), Cisse (Campbell 77) 

Next day it waz then a 'torturous' jorney back to London (Heathrow Airport this time!)
via Romania for wor game against Chelski @ Stamford Bridge on the Saturday afta just fower hours kip (aye!--we'd stopped 'on the drink' for a canny while after the match!)
And we (eventually!) arrived  at wor hotel in Swiss Cottage (London) aroond aboot 17 hours after leavin' wor hotel in Athens @ '11:30pm bells'!****"Who would be a Toon fan!"?

Tuesday 21 August 2012


Updated '7:00am bells' Wednesday 22nd August 2012

Later this mornin 'The Geordie Times' sets off on an epic 'double heeder' of a jorney to London to catch wor flight from Gatwick, and then onward to Athens for the Atromitos game on Thorsday neet and then back to London again for wor game against  Chelski on Saturday @ '5:30 bells'.

We fully expect that wor 'shadow squad' will play in Greece and that wor 'full strength team' will play in west London because of the narrow gap between the two kick off times! (less than 48 hours!) 

The temp in Athens iz predicted to be 102% centigrade! (39 celcius!)---We'll just have to make sure that we have plenty of 'liquid lubrication' to keep us gannin!

We've been telt by the NUFC ticket office that 43 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have bought away tickets for this match in total! (or shud that be!----43 'mad-sad fools'!)

No updates will be available til at least Sunday when we eventually get back! (we carnt afford posh phones/laptops etc. to send stuff back!---like!) (we've anly got 'carrier pigeons'!)

In the meeeentime!!!--wor computaa iz gannin into hibernation!!!----"ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!!!!!"


Posted '10:55am bells' Tuesday 21st August 2012

There are still a few Atromitos (£25) and Chelski (£55!) tickets available for Thorsdays and Saturdays games and tickets for wor forthcomin' away game against 'The Toffee Noses' on Mon Sept 19th are nuw on sale priced @ £38 for big kids, £24 for zimmerframeites and £19 for sprogs!

Tickets for wor home game against 'The Greeks' a week on Thorsday are aalso on sale @ £15 and just a FIVER! for those of yoo with zimmerframes or dummies! 

More to follow on wor 'double heeder' of games against 'The Greeks' and Chelski later on tooneet!

Monday 20 August 2012


Posted '9:45am bells' Sunday 19th August 2012
 Ben Arfa penalty winner through the heat haze!

A wonder strike from Demba Ba and a Ben Arfa penalty @ The Gallowgate End in the 2nd half sealed the 3 points for The Toon in this evenly contested game in very humid conditions against the 'Hot'spurs (sic!).

It wasn't plain sailin though az Spors had hit the woodwork twice in the forst period and we were lucky to gan in 'nowts each' @ half time! (aalthough Ba went close @ The Leazes End!)

Ba's wonder strike came 10 minutes after the restart, when he struck a right footer into the corner of the net from just inside the penalty area, which sent the near capacity crowd wild! 
Vurnon Anita then made hiz debut to rapturous applause from 50,000 Geordies!

The visitors equalised through Defoe in the 77th minute and at this point it looked az though Spors wud gan on and win it az they had most of the play.

But Ben Arfa waz then 'sandwiched' between two Spors defenders in the box just 3 minutes later and the ref pointed straight to the spot.
Ben Arfa grabbed the baall off Demba Ba (who wanted to take the spot kick!) and he hit his effort to the right of Freidel in the visitors goal, (sendin him the wrang way!) to seal the tight fought victory in the 80th minute of the game.

'I Beg Your Pardew' waz sent to the stands after pushin' the linesman in the technical area not lang before this, after the 'blind official' failed to give us a throw in (we cud see from level 7 in The Milburn Stand that the baall waz oot!---why couldn't he???) 

A great start to the season!---lang may it continue!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Perch, Steven Taylor, Santon, Tiote, Cabaye (Inita 71), Gutierrez, Ben Arfa, Ba (Obertan 85), Cisse

Attendance: 52,385 (2,800 Spors fans)

Footnote: The resorves won 6-4 against Spors resorves @ Benton with wor goal comin' from Campbell who got a hat-trick,  Good, Vuckic and Inman.
The U18s aalso played against Spors U18s @ Little Benton next door, losin' 4-0 though! 

Saturday 18 August 2012


Posted '9:40am bells' Saturday 18th August 2012

The new season iz aalmost upon us and kicks off in just under 8 hours time and 'The Geordie Times' haz an excitin' 'new 100 challenge' for the home games! 

Last season wor 'challenge' waz to visit 100 pubs and clubs throughoot the season, visitin' an average of five, before and after each game and we actually visited 102 in total in which we drank at least one pint in each!
(see '100 pub crawl challenge' on the toolbar @ the top of this page)

This challenge iz completeleee different and completeleee the opposite of last season!----
'The Geordie Times' aim iz to drink 100 different beers in ONE pub!

The drinkin' den in question will be!----THE NEWCASTLE ARMS! in St Andrews Street, just roond the corner from Chinatoon and within sight of St James' Park!

We realise that this challenge iz a lot easier than visitin' 100 different boozers, but we are gettin' on a bit and we cannit be bothered to trapes aroond the Toon, 'sniffin oot' new waaterin holes! 

We can anly hope that Neil the landlord haz plenty of real ales on offer throughoot the season!

Anyone who fancy's joinin' us in this challenge iz most welcome to do so!
'The Geordie Times 100 different beers challenge' iz ON!

In the meeentime!---there's aalso a futbaall match to gan te @ 'The Catherdral on the Hill' against Spors @ '5:30 bells' in wor forst Premya Leegue game of the season. (live on ESPN)
The visitors (not suprizingly!) have sold oot their allocation of 2,800 tickets for 'Level 7' of 'The Leazes End' and a 50,000 plus crowd iz guarenteed-------ne team news yet!

A new 'waaterin hole' will aalso be 'christened' in Chinatoon when the old 'Stage Door' nightclub reopens az 'The No. 9 Bar' on Stowell Street. (within eeezy 'hocklin distance' of the groond!)
Former Toon 'number 9s' 'Supermac' and Joe Allon<("er!"--he played in the number 9 shirt a couple of times!)  will be there and they are dein' a 'taalk-in' before the match @ '3 bells'---free admission!---aall welcome!

Friday 17 August 2012


Posted '1:45pm bells' Friday 17th August 2012

'The Geordie Times' haz just hord through the grapevine that tickets for wor game in Greece against Atromitos next Thorsday are nuw on sale to season ticket holders from the NUFC box office above 'Shearers Bar' on a forst come forst sorve basis!

Application forms MUST be filled in with travel and passport details and tickets will cost £25.
They are expected to arrive here from Greece by sometime tomorrow and shud be ready to pick up on Sunday from the ticket office.

Thursday 16 August 2012


Posted 11:00pm bells Thorsday 16th August 2012

'The Geordie Times' haz just received the news from wor faithful carrier pigeon (a day late az usual!) that Vurnon Anita haz signed a 5 year deal for us from Ajax of Amsterdam for a reported fee of £6.7million quid!

The Dutch midfielder will take the vacant number 8 shirt and we are telt that 'Vurnon' iz 'yearnin' to pull on the world famous black 'n' white stripes!

We're not sure if he will feature in Saturday's Premya Leegue opener against Spors @ St James' Park, but he iz a very welcome addition to wor squad!

Remember!---'The Geordie Times' brings yoo the latest 'excluuusive' Toon news, second hand, forst! (or iz it, 'forst hand, second'!???) 

Wednesday 15 August 2012


Posted 2:30pm bells' Wednesday 15th August 2012

For the latest news on 'The Toon' squad numbers for this season 'click' onto 'NUFC SQUAD NUMBERS' toolbar @ the top of this page


Updated '10:30am bells' Wednesday 15th August 2012
The Toon and Chemnitzer line up
before the start of the game
@ The Gellert Stadium in east Jawmany

Ticket news

Ne news yet of any ticket sales for the Atromitos away game in Athens next Thorsday?

Chelsea away tickets still on sale at a 'mooth waaterin' £55!


KEY: Gold = TOON 1st team
Yellow = TOON X1
Purple = TOON resorves
Dark green = TOON U18s
Light green = TOON U17/16s
Black = still to play

Friday 13th July
Chemnitzer 1 (Anton 'FINK'!---"argh!") 
The Toon 0
Attendance 6,700 (estimated 200 Toon saddos!)

Saturday 14th July
Toon U18s v Monkey Hangers U18s
Cannit find oot if this game waz actually played!?
"Er!"---just foond oot!--they drew 2-2!

Monday 16th July
The Toon v Monaco in Landsberg, Jawmany @ 7 bells local ('6:00 bells' here) (LIVE on ESPN!)
Won 1-0 (Demba Ba)
Attendance: 900 (30 mad-sad groundhoppers!)
(25 mad-sad tellyhoppers in 'The Porcy'!)

Thorsday 19th July
The Toon resorves 3 v Hamilton Accies 1
The Toon sneaked this game in withoot tellin' anybody??? which waz (apparentleee!) played at Darsley Park, Benton! (goalscores unknown at the moment!)---"Er!"---just foond oot who scored!---trialist Anthony Koura got the forst two and Marcus Maddison got the last one !

Saturday 21st July
Fermanagh v The Toon U16s @ Ferney Park, Fermanagh, Northern Ireland @ '5 bells'
The Toon youngins won 4-0 (Olley 2, Gilliard, Campbell) in front of a 350 crowd

Saturday 21st July
The Toon v Fenebache of Torkey in Austria and NOT Hungary or Jawmany az origionally thought!
(@ FC Ritzing---wherever that iz???) 7:30 bells local (6:30 bells here)
(LIVE on ESPN!) (The Companions Club---The Three Bulls and The Porcy in the city centre, aall have the game live)
Drew 1-1 (Mehdi Abeid)
Attendance: 2,000 estimated (100 Toon fans)
(31 'Tellyhoppers' in The Companions Club!)

Monday 23rd July
Toon resorves 5 Ashington 1
Behind closed doors again!
Toon goalscorers were: Brad Inman (2) JJ Hooper, Marcus Maddison and Michael Richardson 

Monday 23rd July
Pachuca of Mexico v The Toon U17's @ Ballymena Showgrounds, Ballymena, Northern Ireland @ 6 bells
Won 6-0 (Adam Campbell (2), Alex Gilliead, Ronaldo Aaron, Greg Olley, Ryan McKinnon)
Attendance: 200 (or so) 

Tuesday 24th July
CSKA Moscow of Russia v The Toon U17s @ Riada Stadium, Ballymoney, Northern Ireland @ 7 bells
Won 3-1 (Adam Campbell (2), Liam Smith)
Attendance: 300-ish!

Wednesday 25th July Friday 27th July
"Ne Where Near Bolton", Wanderers U17s v The Toon U17s in Ballymoney @ 7:30 bells
Won 2-0 to progress to the final where we will meet Desportivo of Brazil in Ballymena.
Goalscorers: Adam Campbell and Ronaldo Aarons

Thursday 26th July
Desportivo of Brazil v The Toon U17s
Milk Cup final @ '8:20 bells in Ballymena (live on Northern Ireland telly!)
Lost 3-0 Attendance not known yet?

The Toon v Olympiakos of  Greece in The Algarve Stadium, Faro, Portugal @ 8:45 bells---live on ESPN
Drew 1-1 (Steven Taylor) and then 4-4 on penalties
Attendance: 600-1,000 (400 Toon fans--7 Olympiakos fans!)

Saturday 28th July
The Toon v Braga of Portugal in The Algarve Stadium @ 8:45 bells---live on ESPN
Won 'The Algarve Cup' 2-1 (Ba, Ryan Taylor) Attendance: 600-1,000 (again 400 Toon fans---40 Braga fans)(2 Blackborn fans!)

Wednesday 1st August
Gatesheed v The Toon resorves @ Gatesheed Stadium @ 7:30 bells
Won 4-1 (Abeid, Amalfitano, Newton, Maddison)
Attendance: 1,274 (half Toon, half Heed) 

Saturday 4th August
ADO Den Haag (The 'Millwaall' of Holland!) v The Toon @ Kyocera Stadium, The Hague, Holland @ '5 bells' (game conformed by NUFC!) (miracles DE happen!)
Drew 0-0
Attendance: 8,000? (wild guess!) (anly 300 or so Toon fans) "Er!"--mee 'wild guess' waz 880 oot and the official attendance waz!---7,120!

Tuesday 7th August
The Monkey Hangers of Hartlepool v  Toon X1 @ Victoria Park @ 7:30 bells
Won 5-1 (Shola Ameobi, Marveaux (2),Vuckic, Obertan)
Attendance: 4,802 (2,503 Toon fans)

Wednesday 8th August
Leeds resorves 1 The Toon resorves 1
(Haris Vuckic)
Behind closed doors @ Thorpe Arch near Wetherby


Saturday 11th August 
Blackpool X1  1  Toon X1  1 (Dennis Knight)
Behind closed doors

Saturday 11th August
Toon X1  3  Blyth Spartans 2  (???, Gregg Olley, Dan Barlassa) 
Behind closed doors

Saturday 11th August
Cardiff City 'Redwings' v The Toon @ Cardiff City (Redwings!) Stadium, Wales @ 3 bells
Lost 4-1 (Shola Ameobi (pen)
Attendance: 9,682 (1,000 or so Toon fans)

Two more behind closed doors fixtures were added to the list!

Tuesday 14th August
Oldham resorves 1  The Toon resorves 2 (Adam Campbell, Brad Inman)

Tuesday 14th August
The Toon U18s 3  Clyde U18s 1 (Ronaldo Aarons (pen), Liam Smith (pen), Alex Gilliead)

Monday 13 August 2012


Updated '9:30am bells' Tuesday 14th August 2012

Confirmation that wor Europa Leegue ties against Atromitos of Greece will NOT be changed, haz been annoonced by UEFA @ '5 bells' last neet!---and we will have to fly to Athens on Wednesday week for the game on Thorsday neet and then onto London for wor Premya Leegue game against Chelski on the followin' Saturday neet! (a gap of less than 48 hours between the final whistle in Athens and the kick off @ Stamford Bridge!)

Just why UEFA said that the two clubs could change dates and venues if both agreed, and then say that they couldn't , iz bafflin' to say the least!?

We nuw have to fly from (London) Gatwick on Wednesday week to Athens and then back to London on the Friday neet for wor game against 'The Pensioners' the next day! (That's a total of fower days away--like!)
Why couldn't they tell us this last Friday, instead of p*ssin' us aboot!???????

And ticket news for the Greek game!???---divvint haad yer breath!

The game dates are az follows: 'Away' on Thorsday 23rd August and then 'home' on Thorsday 30th August! (Chelski iz on Saturday the 25th!) 


Updated '4:05pm bells' Monday 13th August 2012

At the time of writin', there iz STILL! ne news az to wetha UEFA are to allow us to swap the home and away ties in the Europa Leegue 4th roond qualifier against Atromitos of Greece later this month!?
This iz despite news that the ties and dates wud be conformed by last Friday???

Az per usual it's US who suffer, az the langer we leave to book flights to Athens the more expensive it becomes!---the neva endin' money drainin' saga gans on and on!

'The Geordie Times' will post the news az sooon az we find oot!

Sunday 12 August 2012


Posted '1:00pm bells' Sunday 12th August 2012

   Shola penalty

Wor last pre season friendly ended in a disastrous 4-1 defeat to Championship side Cardiff 'Redwings' in sooth Wales yesterday in the sunshine

There were anly two of us travellin' doon at the ungody hour of '5am bells' and mee companion for the day waz 'Adam from Palmersville'
The lang drive doon took six hours plus an extra half hour to find somewhere to park, az aall aroond the groond and up to half a mile away, waz for permit holders anly!

We bumped into 'Fawlty Towers' who waz doon to visit relatives in Cumbran fifteen miles away and az we were waalkin' up the road a gadgie came past on a bike and shooted, "Ding! Ding!" for us to get oot of the way! (he didn't have a bell!)

'Fawlty' didn't hear him, so aa said, "Brian!--get oot the way!" (his real name)
The gadgie on the bike then said in a broad Welsh accent, "Ding! Ding! Brian!---get out the F*****' way!",  az he rode past! (we were in stitches!)

We foond 'sanctuary' in the Canton Rugby Club which waz in sight and hocklin' distance of the stadium and we settled doon for much needed 'liquid refreshments', before heedin' for the tornstiles (not much 'hootch' for me az aa waz drivin' back!)

The most suprizin' thing waz the lack of protest from the home fans in the controversial decision to change their home colours from blue to red and quite a few were wearin' the new red shirts!? (mebbez they were protestin' with their feet az there were large gaps in the blue seats!)

A terrible start meant that we were three doon after just 26 minutes after some terrible defendin' by wor back five---(the same back five who will probably start against Spors in wor forst leegue game next Saturday!)

The 2nd half offered some hope when we were awarded a penalty soon after the restart which waz convorted by Shola Ameobi in front of the 1,000 or so Toon fans who had made the lang jorney doon.

However!-- wor 'hopes' were soon dashed az 'The Redwings' got a fourth to seal the win and give US 'red faces'!

We then faced the prospect of the lang drive yem and arrived back on Tyneside @ 'midneet bells'! (670 miles roond trip!)

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Coloccini (Williamson 46), Steven Taylor (Gosling 63), Santon, Tiote (Amalfitano 70), Obertan (Campbell 84), Ryan Taylor (Perch 28), Marveaux (Vuckic 46), Gutierrez, Shola Ameobi

Attendance: 9,682 (1,000 or so, lang sufferin' Toon fans!) 

Saturday 11 August 2012


Posted '4:00am bells' Saturday 11th August 2012

Wor final pre season forst team friendly takes place in Wales @ '3 bells' later on today and we will be leavin' in the orly hours to get there. (aboot '5 bells'!)

It's sure to be an emotional affair, az the home team, knaan for ower 100 years az 'The Bluebirds', because of their blue strip, will then become 'The Redwings', az their new oriental owners have decided to de away with tradition and change their colours to 'RED', which iz apparently a 'lucky colour' in the far east. 

Can yi imagine wor very aan 'Fat Controller' dein the same thing to us!?---It doesn't bear thinkin' aboot!!!

A compreeehensive match report will follow when we eventually get back!

Posted '6:00pm bells' Thorsday 9th August 2012

Leeds resorves 1 The Toon resorves 1

Yesterday the resorves drew 1-1 against Leeds resorves @ Thorpe Arch near Wetherby in anotha 'behind closed doors' game on Wednesday neet. ("er!"---'the mad-sad groundhoppers' have been here az well, by the way!---for a Junior game!)

The Toon's goalscorer waz Haris Vuckic who had aalso scored in Tuesday neets 'Toon X1' game in Hartlepool 

Thursday 9 August 2012


Updated '1:45pm bells' Friday 10th August 2012


Friday draw for the fourth qualifyin' roond of the Europa League haz saw us paired with Greek side ATROMITOS of Athens

The Toon were due to play the away leg forst but have requested to play the HOME leg forst---we await the ootcome!
The dates pencilled in are!---Wednesday 22nd or Thorsday 23rd August for the forst leg and Wednesday 29th August or Thorsday 30th August for the 2nd leg 

When 'The Toon' played their last competitive game in Europe against AZ Alkmaar of Holland in March 2007, this waz mee '99th game in a row' for European competitions. (this includes six games in the Anglo Italian Cup in 1992!) 
A'v waited FIVE LANG YEARS! to try and de mee '100th in a row' and now at last a'v got the chance!
So the draw waz a VERY (VERY!) special occasion for me!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will of course be there and we can anly be thankful that a visa isn't required to get into Greece.

It cud have been worse!---az Russia and Izerbiajan nearly came oot of the hat!

Tuesday 7 August 2012


Updated '9:15pm bells' Wednesday 7th August 2012


Anothaa Toon X1 away friendly waz added to the list and we played 'The Monkey Hangers of Hartlepool' @ Victoria Park @ '7:30 bells' toneet!

Az this game waz arranged at very short notice, a'd said that aa would be available for work today and had to gan to Liverpool and Stockport. (couldn't wangle oot of it!)
Aa tried to swap it for a 'run' to Glasgow so aa cud get finished orlier, but it wasn't possible---so 'Liverpool/Stockport it waz!

Aa did the same 'run' yesterday and got finished @ '7:00pm bells'.
The same thing happened today, and unfortunateleee, with less than half an hour to get from the Team Valley in Gatesheed to Hartlepool, it waz an impossible task and aa reluctantly missed the game!

However!---wor rovin 'Geordie Times' reporter WAZ THERE and aa can tell yiz that a strong Toon X1 easily won 5-1, with wor goals comin' from Shola Ameobi, 'Marveaux the Magician' (2), Haris Vuckic and Gabriel Obertan just before the end!

Footnote: Anly Steven Taylor waz in the startin' line up from wor previous game in Holland @ Den Haag and this waz (in effect) wor 'shadow squad' who played. 

Attendance: 4,802 (2,503 Toon fans!---more than half the gate!)

A'm gutted aa missed the game, especially az we won 5-1, but aa'll 'just have to live with it!------"FOR THE REST OF MEE LIFE!"

PS: We will DEFINATLEEE be @ Cardiff on Saturday for the 'forst team's' final pre season friendly before the big Premya Leegue kick off against Spors a week later! 

Sunday 5 August 2012


Posted '4:05pm bells' Sunday 5th August 2012

(Ground number 289) Kyocera Stadion, The Hague, Holland

A borin' 0-0 draw in The Hague was the outcome of this non event friendly fixture.
However!--(and on the bright side!) we remain unbeaten in wor last five games on wor 'European Pre Season Tour'!

Wor flight from Toon Airport to Amsterdam waz uneventful (apart from Toon goalie Steve Harper bein'  onboard az well!) and on landin' we heeded straight for the train station to catch the train to The Hague (Den Haag)

The weathaa waz waam and sunny and we enjoyed several 'liquid refreshments' before heedin' for the groond which (or course!) waz miles oot the way next to a motorway on the outskirts of the city. ("Tax-eeeeee!!!")

Den Haag's fans notorious 'Millwaall of Holland' image waz NOT in evidence az we cautiously had the final pre match gargels in their supporters club next to the groond and the natives seemed friendly enough and the 'yellow n green' home tops mingled with the 'black n white' Toon tops!

Suprizingly few Toon fans made the trip to Holland and there were barely 300 diehards in the glass screened panelled away pen behind the goal!

The dark green seats of the Kyocera Stadion reminded me of Plymouth's groond and it waz aboot the same size az Home Park.

The game kicked off and unfortunatlee this iz where the bordom started az both teams couldn't produce the goods!

The anly highlight waz near the end when a a Mike Williamson heeder foond Shola Ameobi who stabbed the baall home anly for it to be ruled offside by the linesman on the far side from us!

Anotha one to forget---a'm afraid!

Toon team: Krul, Ryan Taylor (Perch 71), Colloccini, Steven Taylor (Williamson 64), Santon (Simpson 82), Tiote (Bigirimana 72), Obertan (Shola Ameobi 72), Vuckic (Gosling 64), Cisse, Ba (Amalfitano 82), Gutierrez

Attendance: 8,000? (wild guess!) (anly 300 or so Toon fans)

Aftaa the match it waz back to the city centre for a few more gargels before catchin' the train to a packed Amsterdam, where the drink flowed til the orly hours! 


It waz then onto Schiphol Airport again to catch wor flight yem at 8:10 this mornin', but not before grabbin' some much needed kip on the airport loungers "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!" 

289 kyocera stadion the hague holland

(Ground number 289)

Date of First Visit: 4th August 2013

Kyocera Stadion, The Hague, Holland

Den Haag 0

Newcastle United 0

Friendly Fixture

Attendance: 7,120 (300 Toon fans)


A borin’ 0-0 draw in The Hague was the result of this ‘non event’ friendly fixture!

However!---(and on the bright side!) we remain unbeaten in wor last five games on wor ‘European Pre Season Tour’!

Wor flight from Toon Airport to Amsterdam waz uneventful (apart from the fact that Toon goalie Steve Harper waz onboard az well!) and on landin’ we heeded straight for the train station to catch the train to The Hague (Den Haag)

The wethaa waz waam and sunny and we enjoyed several ‘liquid refreshments’ befor heedin’ for the ground, which (or course!), miles oot the way next to a motorway on the ootskirts of the city (“TAX-EEEEEE!”)

Den Haag’s notorious ‘Millwaall of Holland’ hooligan fans were NOT in evidence az we cautiously had the final pre match ‘gargels’ in their supporters club next to the ground and the ‘natives’ seemed friendly enough, az their ‘yellow n green home tops’ mingled with the ‘black n white Toon tops’ without any problems!

Suprizingly few Toon fans had made the relatively short trip to Holland and there were barely 300 diehards in the glass screen panelled away pen behind the goal!

The dark green seats of the Kyocera Stadion reminded me of Plymouth’s ground and it waz aboot the same size az Home Park.

The game kicked off and unfortunateleee this iz where the boredom started az both teams couldn’t produce the goods!

The ‘anly highlight’ waz near the end when a Mike Williamson heeder foond Shola Ameobi  who stabbed the baall home, anly for it to be ruled offside by the linesman on the far side from us!

Anothaa one to forget---a’m afraid!

After the match it waz back to the city centre for a few more ‘gargels’ before catchin’ the train to a packed Amsterdam, where the drink flowed til the orly hours!

We hadn’t booked an owerneet stay coz wor flight waz orly the next mornin’ and so (az yi de!) we stopped ‘on the hoy’ til ‘4 am bells’!<(when most of the bars closed!)

It waz then onward to Schipol Airport again to catch wor flight yem @ ‘8:10 bells’, but not before catchin’ up on some much needed kip on the airport loungers!


Saturday 4 August 2012


Updated '5:20am bells' Saturday 4th August 2012

This afternoon @ '5:00 bells' ('4:00 bells' in Geordieland)  'The Toon' take on 'The Millwaall of Holland' in the shape of Den Haag in The Hague

Unfortunatleee there iz ne live telly for this game (az far az we naa!?)

Tickets are on sale from the 'away zone' @ Den Haag (entrance 22-24) priced @ 14 euros

We fly oot from Toon Airport in less than fower hours time to Amsterdam and are stoppin' 'on the hoy' aall day and aall neet, before flyin' back orly on Sunday mornin'! (who needs a hotel when yi can drink aall neet!?)

But be warned!----if yer gannin, divvint invade the pitch az it will cost yoo (deep breath!) a FIFTEEN THOOSAND EURO FINE!!!

Az per usual---match (and 'gargel'!) report to follow much later sometime on Sunday when we get back! ("watch this space!")

Wednesday 1 August 2012


Updated '11:00am bells Thorsday 2nd August 2012

Connor Newton (far post) heeds home
against 'The Heed' (in yellow) for The Toon's 3rd goal
("Er!"---sorry aboot the grainy image!)

A strong Toon X1 ran oot 4-1 winners @ Gatesheed Stadium last neet, but it wasn't aall plain sailin' for the 'black n whites' az 'The Heed' put up a good show in front of aroond aboot 1,000  spectators--half of them Toon fans.

The forst goal came in the 6th minute when Mehdi Abeid fired a brilliant effort home from 25 yards to give former Toon keeper Adam Bartlett ne chance az the baall hit the back of the net.

Then!--new boy Romain Amafitano<(hope a'v spelt that reet?) doubled wor lead in the 23rd minute when he poked the baall into the net from inside the Gatesheed box.

'The Heedbangers' then hit back when Micky Cummins hit a great volley past Elliot in 'The Toon' goal just 3 minutes later!
Half time---2-1 to The Toon.

More chances for 'The Heed' nearly levelled the score in the second period, but a corner by Marcus Maddison settled things in the 73rd minute, when his accurate cross foond Connor Newton's heed and he heeded it past 'The Heed' keeper to give us a 3-1 heed ("er!"--sorry!--that shud be 3-1 LEAD!)

Finalleee!---and just one minute later, Maddison lobbed a fantastic effort ower the home sides defence to put 'the black n whites' 4-1 up and that waz the final score, aalthough to be fair to 'The Heedbangers' a fower-one defeat waz a bit harsh on them!

Toon team: Elliot, Richardson, Dummett, Bigiriama, Tavernier, Good<(makin' his debut) (Riley 78), Amalfitano (Nicholson 46), Newton (Knight 78), Hooper (Maddison 46), Abeid (Henderson 83), Inman

Attendance: 1,274 (half 'Toon' and half 'Heed'!)

Chants of the day: "Gatesheed's a sh*t-hole, aa wonna go home!" (from Toon fans)
"Wot are you on aboot?---Half of you live in Gatesheed anyway!" (reply from Heed fans!) 


Before this @ '2:30 bells' we took in some Olympic futbaall @ St James', where we saw Brazil beat New Zealand 3-0 in a very one sided game in front of a 'selloot' 24,500 crowd??? (St James'z capacity iz ower 52,000 (work that one oot!???)

Most of the crowd supported the Brazilians, but there were quite a few Geordies wearin' yellow Brazil tops and wavin' their flags (wots that aall aboot!???)