"MAGIC WEEKEND!" *** HEED V BARNET! *** BAD BLUE BOYS v GRIMSBY BORO *** THE TOON v MOAN U = "MAGIC WEEKEND!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 31st March 2023

Tomorrow afternooon Gatesheeed play their biggest game for years when they entertain Barnet from "norf Landan" in the FA Trophy semi final, with a trip to Wembley in the final for the winners!

A big crowd of 4,000 (by Gatesheed standards) iz expected!

Best of luck 'Heedbangers!

Meeenwhile another big crowd (400) iz expected at another local club, Dunston ('Bad Blue Boys'), who will be hostin Grimsby Borough in The Northern Premyaa Leegue East Division.

 They are hopin to get into the play-offs to win promotion to The Northern Premyaa Leegue 1st Division! 

A win will 'cement them' in a top 6 'play off' place with 54 points, while Grimsby on 47 points in 7th place will be 7 points behind Dunston with just 4 games to play, shud they lose!--A 6 pointer for certain!

Thats where we will be on Saturday!

Then on Sunday of course NUFC take on Moan U at St. James' Park in the 3rd big game of the weekend (Just 52,200 expected!) and a win will propel us to 3rd place above Moan U on goal difference and Sporz by a point, who divvint play til Munday neet!  

Wor quest for a top 4 'Champions Leegue place' iz alive and kickin'!

THE FORST "MAGIC WEEKEND" OF THE YEAR IZ AALMOST UPON US!

NUFC---THE FORST 'TRUE' 'UNITED'!

 Posted not lang after 'high noon bells' Thorzday 30th March 2023

Sheffield United were the forst ever futbaall club to be caalled 'United' in 1889 when they were formed!----However!, there were 2 other clubs in the city of Sheffield at the time, namely 'The Wednesday' formed in 1867 (Later Sheffield Wednesday) and Sheffield FC formed in 1857, who are the oldest futbaall club in the world!

In other words Sheffield wasn't 'United'!

NUFC were the 2nd club to be caalled 'United' in 1892 followin the amalgamation of Newcastle East End and Newcastle West End!

This meeenz that NUFC were the forst truly 'United' futbaall club in the world!

Man United were originally caalled Newton Heath and didnt change their name to Man United til 1902---10 years after us! (see the above match 'card' from wor home game against them on New Years Day in 1897!)

Of course there woz another club in Manchester caalled Ardwick who later changed their name to Man City!

In other words Manchester wasn't 'United' eeethaaa!

Yet their fans and the media arrogantly caall them simply 'United', much to the annoyance of aall clubs with 'United' in their titles!

NEWCASTLE UNITED FC THE FORST 'TRUE' 'UNITED'   

THE LIST OF LEEGUE CLUBS WITH 'UNITED' IN THEIR NAME AND THE YEAR THEY WERE SO CAALLED!

GEORDIE TIMES QUIZ***SPOT THE DIFFERENCE!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 29th March 2023

"Usin' your skill, judgement and half a sheeps brain, see if yoo can spot the difference in these 2 newspaper heedlines from 2007 and 2023 ?🐑?

STRAWBERRY DELIGHT!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuezday 28th March 2023

"I WONDER WHY THE CAALL IT 'THE STRAWBERRY CORNER?"

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' (2 days late!) that a standin area in 'The Strawberry Corner' of 'The Gallowgate End' iz to be introduced next season with 1,800 standin places! (The same number will be installed in the away section in 'The Leazes End')

I am old enough to remember when there were nearly 56,000 standin places and just 4,600 seats at SJP!  This iz a smaall step in the right direction az far az we are concerned!

"One smaall step for man---One giant leap for Geordie-kind!"

360 Nigel Doherty Academy (v Forest U21s)

Ground Number 360 (361 if yoo included Motspur Park, Fulham from ootside coz they wouldnt let us in!)

Date of First Visit: 18th March 2023

Nigel Doherty Academy, West Bridgford, Nottingham

Nottingham Forest U21s 3

Newcastle United U21s 1 (Rodrigo Vilca)

FA Premier League 2 Division 2

Attendance: 84 (includin 3 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!)

"THIS TOON PERFORMANCE REEELY TAKES 'THE BISCUIT'!"

The mornin after the night before we made wor way to Forest's trainin' groond aboot a mile away from The City Groond where NUFC's forst team had won 2-1 against Forest!

Just before the game started it started 'chuckin it doon' and we were soaked to the skin even before the match had started az there woz nee cover at aall for spectators! 

3 of the 2,950 Toon fans who were at The City Groond the neet before were in attendance, namely 'Glennn from Ashington', 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' and 'little old me' ('Fink the mad-sad groundhopper'!)

Winless in wor previous 8 games we predictably started off badly and were 1-0 doon after just 6 minutes when Forest's Larsson fired home from a cross!

Forest doubled their lead in the 20th minute when McAdam tapped the baall into the net after a goalmooth scramble!

We pulled one back 5 minutes later when Rodrigo Vilca hit a low shot past the home keeper!

But thats az good az it got az the rain eased off!

In the 2nd period we had a free kick near the halfway line in the 60th minute, but instead of hittin the baall forward it went backwards instead, where we lost possession and Larsson said 'thank you very much' az he hit a sweet shot past Thompson in The Toon goal! 3-1 doon and there woz nee way back after that az the clouds torned grey and we got soaked again! (Talk aboot shootin yourself in the foot!)

On the far side of the uncovered groond there woz a banner which read: 'THE GARIBALDI THAT WE WEAR WITH PRIDE WAS MADE IN 1865' (The year Nottingham Forest were founded)

Curious to wot 'GARIBALDI' meant aa 'Googled it' on mee mobile 'telling bone' and it said that 'Garibaldi' woz a SQUASHED CURRANT BISCUIT!!!???

ie: THE 'SQUASHED CURRANT BISCUIT' THAT WE WEAR WITH PRIDE WAS MADE IN 1865! (Now that makes sense!---doesn't it???)

In other words we were 'cream crackered' (Knackered) by their U21s (sic!) Now that reeely does 'TAKE THE BISCUIT!' (double sic!)

PS: 'Glennn from Ashington' aalso 'Googled it' and the alternative answer woz: 'Garibaldi iz a shade of red' (Now that DOESN'T make any sense at aall!---does it???)

The pre match gargels took place here, bringin the away days total to 120 different drinkin dens for the season --so far!

"WE WOZ THERE!"---THE PROOF!

FOREST FANS IN THE FOREST!

"ARE YOO TAKIN THE P*SS NUMBER 17?"

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB OF NOTTINGHAM 1 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from 4:50pm 'bells onwards, Saturday 18th March 2023, in the back seat of Blondie Alan's car on the way back from Nottingham

NUFC ARE IN WOR BLUE AND YELLOW AWAY KIT

" FROM X CERTIFICATE TO XTASY IN BLOCK X ROW X!"

Goals in Xtra time in the forst half from Isak and Xtra time In the 2nd half from Isak again won this game for NUFC to move us within a point of 4th placed Sporz with a game on hand and just 3 points behind Moan U who we play next!

We dominated from the start and were on the front foot from the word 'go' but an X certificate back pass from Botman to Pope failed to find wor keeper and the baall woz intercepted by Dennis in the 26th minute who lobbed the baall ower Pope and wor defenders to put 'The Friar Tuck Mob' 1-0 up! (Friar Tuck=Robin Hood=Nottingham outlaw---get it?)

"ALEXANDER THE GREAT!"

We'd hit the woodwork a couple of times before Alexander Isak somehow stretched to connect with hiz lower leg to hit the baall which went in off the post in Xtra 1st half added time! (45+2)

The 2nd half started off well for us again az we attacked the goal in front of the near 3,000 Toon fans!

And then the controversy when an Isak cross woz headed in at the post by sub Elliot Anderson to wild celebrations on the pitch and in the away end!

However! After a lang VAR check for offside against Longstaff the ref woz advised to check the monitor!   After lookin a the screen for more than 2 minutes, he whistled for the goal to be chalked off, much to the astonishment of the Toon players and fans and greeted by huge cheers from the Forest fans!--a grave injustice if yoo ask us!

Anyway! We had several great chances to find the winner and just az it looked az if the game would end aall square, Forest's Niakhate handled the baall in the box in the 93rd minute and held hiz heed in hiz hands, az he just knew that the ref would point to the spot-- which he DID!

Kieran Trippier grabbed the baall and put it on the spot az the Forest goalie Navas tried to put him off by refusing to stand on hiz goal line! The ref duly booked him for tryin to put Trippier off-- BUT! Trippier then suddenly gave Isak the baall to take the spot kick (A genius ploy to take the pressure off Isak!)

Isak duly stepped up to cooly put the baall to Navas's right to win the game in 2nd half Xtra time to send the Toon fans into meltdoon!

JUSTICE WOZ FINALLY DONE!

Attendance: 29,362 (2,950 very happy Toon fans!)

PS: chant if the day from Toon fans woz brill!

Forest fans: "Champions of Europe, you'll never do that!" (1978 and 1979)

Toon fans reply: "Champions of Europe!"

"YOU WERNT EVEN BORN!"

The pre match and post match gargels took place here,  bringin wor away pub crawl total to 119 different drinkin dens this season

A VIEW OF THE CITY GROOND FROM THE RIVER TRENT PRE MATCH 

Footnote: 3 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers went to watch wor U21s lose 3-1 v Forest U21s at their academy groond this afternooon!--(Me, Blondie Alan and Glennn from Ashington)  

A match report on that game will appear here eventually!?---at 'high noon bells' on Munday!

Az per usual!  "Watch this space!" ("🥱😴!")

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB OF NOTTINGHAM v THE TOON *** FRIDAY NEET *** THE FRIAR TUCK MOB U21s v THE TOON U21s *** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 16th March 2023

"FOREST FEAST OF FUTBAALL!"

'The NUFC Mad-Sad Groundhoppers' are off on wor travels again tomorrow and Saturday when we face Forest's forst team at The City Groond on Friday at '8:00pm bells' (A groond we forst visited in 1970) and Forest's U21s at the nearby Nottingham Forest Nigel Doherty Academy on Saturday at '1:00pm bells'  (A groond we have never been tee to watch The Toon!)

A very rare 'double heeder' in 2 days against the same club away---so rare in fact that this haz NEVER happened before! (The Friday game will finish aboot '9:50pm bells' and the Saturday game will start less than 16 hours later!)

A full Geordie Times match report on BOTH games will appear here sometime on Sunday!

Az per usual: "Watch this space!"

PS: Both Brightin and Brentfaad won last neet, to close the gap on NUFC to 2 and 3 points respectively ---so this reeely iz a must win game!

Footnote: The Friar Tuck Mob--an explanation

 Friar Tuck=Robin Hood=Nottingham! Get it?

NO ONE LIKES US! ITS NOT FAIR!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Tuezday 15th March 2023

FROM 'THE GEORDIE TIMES' THE DAY AFTER HILLSBOROUGH

News that Sheff Wed have had their groond capacity cut due to overcrowding in the narrow concourses at the Leppings Lane End, when NUFC fans visited durin the FA Cup, have reached 'The Geordie Times'! (2 days late az per usual!)

Wedinzday fans have accussed us of complaining coz we lost and that there woz nee overcrowding! (How do they know?, have they got X-ray eyes that can see through stands???)

However! at least 50 complaints were put in az there WOZ a massive crush in the upper concourse and 'The Geordie Times' even took a photo of it at the time (above) to prove it! (We normally anly take photos of the match action and pub crawls!)

Wedinzday and Sheffeeeld City Council had NOT disclosed the full findings and anly continued pressure from NUFC uncovered the cover up!

The capacity of their dilapidated groond az a result haz been reduced by 1,000 to 33,000, much to the annoyance of their fans! (They actually have 39,000 seats!----6,000 of which cannit be used!)

So that's another fan base who divvint like us, to gan with The SMBs, The Smoggies, Evaatin and Critical Palliss, to name just 4! 😭

FROM NUFC.COM

FROM THE DAILY MAIL

FROM THE OFFICIAL REPORT

AND FROM TWITTER!

REPLY: "HOPEFULLY WE WILL NEVER HAVE TO GAN BACK THERE!"

THE TOON 2 WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEEZ 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 13th March 2023

MIGGY'S MAGICAL GOAL TO WIN THE GAME!

 "MIRACLE SAVES BY 'THE POPE' & MIGGY MAGIC!" 

A game we had to win to keep in European contention---and a game we DID win----Just!  The Toon were on top for lang periods and in total had 19 shots on goal, scorin twice!

VIEW FROM MILBURN STAND BALCONY ABOVE THE DIRECTORS BOX

The main taalkin point in the forst half woz in the 20th minute when Nick Pope miscontrolled <(we naa aall the big words'!) a back pass and collided with Wolves Jimenez in the box and for a few seconds we thought that a penalty might be awarded and (God forbid!) Pope would be sent off for the 2nd time in 2 home games!

Thankfully and miraculously The Pope stayed on the pitch az the ref waved 'play on', with nee VAR involved! 

1st HALF ACTION AZ NUFC ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL

6 minutes later we took the lead at The Gallowgate End when Isak rose above the away defence to heed the baall into the top of the net from a Trippier free kick!  HT 1-0 to NUFC

In the 2nd half Wolves were forced to come oot and 'The Pope' made some 'miracle' saves, the best one from a bullet free kick on the edge of the box!

And then disaster in wor defence when Trippier slipped tryin to clear the baall with Pope on the deck---and it fell nicely for Whang He Chang (who had just come on!) to hit the baall into an empty net for the equaliser!

2nd HALF ACTION AT THE LEAZES END

Just when it looked az though we would have to settle for a draw, up stepped anothaa sub---this time Miggy Almiron to hit a great cross field shot into the far corner of the net at The Leazes End with 12 minutes left on the clock, to win the game for us!---The crowd went wild---more out of relief---az we picked up the 'precious' 3 points to leapfrog Livaapoool into 5th place and just 4 behind Sporz in 4th with TWO games in hand!

Can another 'miracle' possibly happen--and we qualify for the Champions Leegue next season???----Divvint rule it oot, although we need several new players to boost wor squad to have any chance!

We play 'The Friar Tuck Mob' of Nottingham away on Friday neet and a win would see us just that point from Sporz with that game in hand--and just 3 behind Moan U---who divvint play a Leegue game til they play us at the beginnin' of April, coz they are in FA Cup action next weekend!

A win against Moan U at SJP would see us leapfrog 'them' on goal difference az well!   MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN!  

Attendance: 52,240 (Less than 3,000 Wanabeeez!)

*

PS: Aa watched Match of the Day on Saturday and Sunday neet and it woz great to hear the crowds roar when a goal woz scored---and nee condescendin' commentary at aall to spoil it! (Just like when yoo actually attend a game!)

Aalso nee patronizin' views from the pundits, drawin arrows and circles on the screen to tell us 'idiots' something we have just seen, but divvint understand coz we are thick! The anly disappointment woz that it woz anly on for 20 mins each day!?

We see that the BBC have came to a comprimise with 'yee naa who' to present MOTD again next week! ---

"BLOODY SPOILSPORTS!"  

THE TOON V WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted from 'high noon🔔 bells' onwards, Friday 10th March 2023

IF YIV EVER WONDERED WHY WOR GROOND IZ CAALLED ST. JAMES' PARK, WELL 'NOW YI NAA'!

ST JAMES STREET---IN THE SHADOWS OF THE EAST STAND!

We play Wolves in a vital game to keep us in contention for at least a UEFA Cup place!

NUFC have hit a bad patch and we havvint won in wor last 5 Leegue games, takin anly 3 points in the process and slipping doon to 6th in the table!

Joelinton iz suspended, havin picked up hiz 10th yellow card at Man City last week, while Isak and Gordon are likely to be paired up front in preference to Callum Wilson who iz 'oot of sorts' at the moment!

'Fab' Schar iz expected to retorn, while Bruno iz carryin an ankle injury and iz 50/50 to start!

It's a '4:30 🔔 bells' start for the telly (SKY) and iz a complete sell oot, with Wolves retornin 200 of their 3,200 allocation! (These tickets were eagerly snapped up by Toon fans within minutes of bein released!)

Are we ready for The Champions Leegue yet?

Whey, we honestly 'fink' that with not much strengh in depth, we would struggle against the elite of Europe at the moment!

The fact that Matt Richie woz one of the subs who came on in The Leegue Cup final, tells yoo that!  He played for us in The Championship in 2016 and although he aalways gives 100%, he, alang with a few others, iz sadly past their 'sell by date'!

2 more summer transfer windows and we shud be there--but not at the moment a'm afraid!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here az per usual, sometime on Munday!   Az per usual!   "Watch this space!"

Updated '2:40pm 🔔 bells' Saturday

Bournemoooth beat Livaapoool 1-0 so we are just one point behind the Mickey Mousers with two games in ✋!

So far so good!🤪👍

Updated 11:05am bells' Sunday

Sporz beat Forest 3-1 and move 7 points aheed of us in the race for a Champions Leegue spot!  However! we dee have THREE games in hand ower them! 

If? we can beat Wolves today and win at Forest next Friday? we will be within ONE point of Sporz!

A Europa Leegue spot however, looks the most likely outcome now, me 'finks' (ie: NUFC have more chance of winnin THAT Cup!) (Although Brightin and Fulim are breathing doon wor necks, just 2 points behind us!)

So this iz definatly a 'must win game' today!

"HELLO BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS!"

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Tuezday 7th March 2023

A brand new country haz just visited The Geordie Times this week!

"Hello British Virgin Islands!" and welcome!

42 page views in the last week from them, bringin the grand total of countries and territories to 162 who have visited us ower the last 10 years or so! (Plus the planet MARS of course!)

The British Virgin Islands are in the Caribbean Sea near Cuba and Jamaica  

A BITTER SWEET WEEKEND!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 6th March 2023

REALITY CHECK!

*It hazzint been a good weekend so far for NUFC az we slip doon to 6th place in the table, havin not won in wor last 5 Premyaa Leegue games, takin just 3 points in the process!

We cannit stand Moan U and their fans, but we needed them to win yesterday at Anfield--- but they got slaughtered 7-0 by The Liverbirds, who leapfrog us to 5th place in the table!---A *bitter sweet weekend for certain after wor 2-0 defeat at The Emptyaid Stadium against Man Citih on Saturday! (10 minutes from the end, they left in droves, despite bein' 2-0 up at the time!)

Tooneet Brentfaad are at home to Fulim in the west London derby and shud Fulim win, then, they will gan above us az well and we will drop to 7th place! (NUFC were in 2nd place on Boxin' Day!)

This iz a reality check I'm afraid az we are not good enough to qualify for The Champions Leegue at the moment!----Give NUFC 2 years and we WILL be ready---for that we are sure!

"KEEP THE FAITH!---NUFC!"

*Bitter sweet an explanation

Bitter coz we lost and Livaapoool went above us

Sweet coz Moan U got slaughtered az their fans tried to take the p*ss durin and after the League Cup final!

I wonder how they're aall feeling today after losin 7-0 against their most hated rivals???

Wot gans aroond comes aroond!

PS: Brentfaad beat Fulim 3-2 so NUFC are still in the top 6