THE TOON 0 (NE WHERE NEAR) BRIGHTIN 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:02am bells' Sunday 31st December 2017

"FROM 'ENTERTAINERS' TO 'NO BRAINERS'!"

Yet anothaa aaful home performance against a so caalled 'lesser team' ended scoreless az 52,000  plus watched on in 'sleep mode'!

We did have a few chances when Merino fired wide twice at The Gallowgate End and Gayle's 'cross/shot' woz well saved by Brightin keeper Ryan--but 'that woz it' for the forst half!

The 2nd period wasnt much better with the 'highlights' bein Hayden's shot which woz well saved by Ryan who tipped hiz shot roond the post and a Gayle heeder aboot 20 mins later, again well saved by the Brightin keeper!

From 'entertainers' to 'no brainers' in the space of 20 years iz hard to believe!

Both teams were az bad az each othaa az time after time possession woz  lost after 2 or 3 passes az the clock agonisingly 'ticked by' in 'slow mode'! ( no goals for 'us' in the last 3 home games and no goals for Brightin in their last 5 away games!)
(2 teams who came up from The Championship, playin' 'Championship futbaall'!)

Othaa results at the bottom went against us az well, and 3 of the teams beneath us have games in hand az we sit just 4 points off the very bottom of the table!

Thats 6 home games in a row withoot a home win and just ONE point from 18 with the 'trapdoor' just beneath us!

The last 9 years in particular have been depressin to say the least---relegation, promotion, relegation, promotion and yet anothaa relegation battle because of lack of funds for the managers, in that time!

It seems that The Fat Controller will NEVAA LORN az hopes of a takeover recede az the days pass--dont forget he wanted rid of the club by Xmas and its the new year tomorrow, with (seemingly) no progress made!

We of course travel to The P*ss Potts of Stoke tomorrow who lost 5-0 at Chelski yesterday!---anothaa 6 pointer---but will we win it?
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!?" lets hope so!

Toon team: Darlow,Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Ritchie (Perez 72), Hayden, Merino (Shelvey 76), Atsu, Joselu (Murphy 85), Gayle

Attendance: 52, 209 (2,200 Brightin fans)
*
The "Lets gan on a bender in December!" 'crusade' continued at various locations includin' The Leazes End Club, The Bodega and 'The Premier Inn bar' on Newgate Street (would yoo believe!) 

THE GEORDIE TIMES 'GOLDEN JUBILEE'!

Posted 10:30am bells' Saturday 30th December 2017

Exactleee 50 years ago today, 'me', Fink 'the mad-sad groundhopper' visited mee forst away groond, which woz the derby match at Joker Park on December 30th 1967!

Below iz a match report on that game, aall them years ago!

It makes me feel quite old!---now where DID aa put mee zimmer frame?

002 joker park 5under1and

(GROUND NUMBER 2)

Date of First Visit: 30th DECEMBER 1967
JOKER PARK, 5UNDER1AND

BLUNDERLAND 3
NEWCASTLE UNITED 3 (Ollie Burton 2 pens, John McNamee)
(OLD) DIVISION ONE
ATTENDANCE 46,030 (10,000 Toon fans)






"THE MORAL OF THE STORY!"

"sha-la-la-la-McNamee!"

The 'mackems and the tackems', the 'Weaze Keys are Theaze' brigade or the S.M.B.'s,
(caall them wot you will!?)
Mee forst visit tih Joker Park was aalso mee forst ever away game watchin' the Toon. Me and a lad who lived ower the road caalled 'Denny' travelled doon on the train tih Seaburn Station from 'The Central' for this 'festive fixture'.
Mee auntie Elsie had knitted iz a huge black 'n' white woolly scarf as a Christmas present, which was aboot TEN foot lang and twice the size of me!, plus a 'much tooo big' woolly pom pom hat which aa wore for the occasion!
A'd first worn the scarf on the Boxin' Day fower days orlier when we beat the mackems 2-1 at St James' in front of 60,000 and aa was hopin' that it would be a good omen for the retorn match at 'Joker' (fingers (& knittin') crossed!)


The train was packed to the rafters, with kiddas climbin' into the luggage racks above the seats to avoid the crush, as it was standin' room anly. When we arrived at the groond which was a canny waalk from the station, there were thoosands of Newcastle fans tryin' tih get into the Fulwell End.
Some had marched roond to the newly opened 'black cat supporters club' which was built on stilts at the back of the main stand and 'The Leazes End Boot Boys' duly 'christened it' by hoyin' some 'half wollaz' (bricks!) through the plate glass windows!


The game was'nt aall ticket back then and yih could just pay on the day at the turnstiles! (2 bob for kids) (10p!)

Once inside the groond, ah noticed that the fans were split 50-50 doon the middle of the terraces, with the Toon fans on the left hand side of the the Fulwell goal and the mackems on the other side. It was wot yi would caall 'self segregation', and the fans just went where they wanted, and stood with their 'own kind', which is unthinkable these days!. (especially at a Derby match against 'the sworn enemy'!) Amazingly, the attendance was just ower 46,000 which was well below the groonds capacity at the time. (aroond 60,000)


'Joker' consisted of three covered stands and the huge open Joker End at the far side which fell away at a curious angle from the back. The Fulwell End had a high pitched roof and the wooden main stand to wor left was a double deck affair with a standin' paddock at the front, while the tiny Clock Stand to wor right had a low roof with a big clock in the middle (beleeeve it or not!)

There was a fantastic atmosphere just before kick off, with the Toon fans singin' a little ditty towards the mackems to the tune of 'The Beatles' classic 'Yellow Submarine', which went sommik like: "We all p**s in a red 'n' white pot!"
(it was aall good natured hatred back then!) (note: in them days people used to keep a chamber pot underneath their beds in case they were 'caught short' durin' the neet!)


'The Toon' ran oot wearin' their aall blue change strip, to huge roars from the 10,000 travellin' contingent and the match started off at a frantic pace.
We went aheed in the 13^th minute when centre forward 'Wyn the Leap' was brought doon in the box by Charlie Hurley and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot. Ollie Burton stepped up stepped up to take the kick and slotted the baall past the despairin' Montgomery in the mackem goal to send the travellin' Geordies wild!


However!---on the half hour mark the mackems equalised when 'Suggett the Nuggett' (as the Toon fans caalled him!) looped the baall past Gordon Marshall in the Newcastle goal---------we'd hardly recovered from this when 'the Nuggett' (er!---that's 'nuggett' as in 'thick b*****d' and NOT as in 'gold'!) struck again after a mad scramble in wor box and he toe poked home from close range as aa held mee 'heed in mee hands' in despair!


With just two minutes of the second half gone, horror upon more horror!, the mackems increased their lead tih three-one when Bruce Stuckey 'stuck' his foot oot to steer the baall past Marshall and ah thought, "wi'v lost it nuw!" and aa pulled mee woolley hat ower mee 'mince pies', as aa could'nt bear ti look!

And so, with aboot ten minutes tih gan, me and mee mate Denny made a fatal mistake!, thinkin' that we had 'lost it', wi decided tih head back tih Seaburn tih beat the crowds, and catch the train yem.
As wih reached the bottom of the stairs at the back of the Fulwell End, there was a huge roar!. Somebody had obviously scored---but WHO?.
The sight of a Toon fan at the top of the stairs, jumpin' up 'n' doon gave us the answer!. Wih hesitated for wot seemed like ages and decided tih gan back in ti see if we could get an equaliser, but as we were half way up the stairs there was another huge roar, and again, wih did'nt naa who'd scored?.

A mackem, who was comin' doon the stairs, telt wih in a dispairin' voice that Newcastle had equalised!. (Can yih imagine THAT happenin' nuw??) (Yi'd probably get a smack in the gob!) and me and Denny danced wildly on the Fulwell stairs!
Just after that, the final whistle went and the crowds came pourin' oot---wi'd missed the goals, but at least wih did'nt get beat!. The celebrations were in full swing as wih headed back tih the station!.
Some 'Leazes Enders' were that exited that they started to rip the train seats oot and hoy them oot the doors and windows onto the tracks! (mee forst 'eye witness acoont' of futbaall hooligans on the rampage!)

Later on, wih heard that Ollie Burton had scored wor second goal by convertin' another penalty, and that Centre Half, 'Big John' McNamee had scored the late equaliser, and celebrated by swingin' off the crossbar!---which later on went doon in 'Geordie Folklore'
(He was built like a brick 's***hoose', so just how the crossbar did'nt break is anybody's guess!?)


Tih make matters worse, the match was'nt? f*****' televised, and so aa could'nt even watch a 'replay' of the game on 'Shoot'! (the name of the Tyne Tees Telly futbaall programme which used to be shown in them days)


And the moral of the story izzz!:
NEVER!---EVER!---LEAVE THE MATCH BEFORE THE FINAL WHISTLE!
©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)◄(work it oot!) caall them what yih will!, but tih me they'll aalways be 'The Jokers from Roker', even though they divvint play there ne more!.

THE TOON v (NE WHERE NEAR) BRIGHTIN **** SATURDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 29th December 2017
Updated '10:15am bells' Saturday

The west end of Newcasil iz covered in heavy snow!

(Pic taken at 11:00am bells, Friday)

SJP iz just to the right of the tower blocks---somewhere!

"WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES!

(Pic taken 10:15am bells' Saturday!)

Friday's post
Heavy snow haz enveloped Tyneside az we speak, but there shud be a respite by tomorrow mornin', which iz good news for fans of both The Toon and Brightin, who will have 2,200 fans travellin up from the south coast for tomorrow afternoon's fixture at SJP!

The game iz a complete selloot in this 'must win game' for both clubs hoverin ower the relegation zone!
Indeed, this game and the one at Stoke on New Years day will define wor season and see which direction we are headin'!

As mentioned many times before, we reely must strenthen wor team or else we will be in serious trouble!----We can anly hope that wor 'beloved'? owner iz listenin!?

Updated Saturday
And the next day, brilliant sunshine greets us az we drag wor lifeless bodies oot of wor 'scratchers'!
3 points pleeeeze, lads! 

THE TOON 0 THE BLUE MOONS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Thorsday 28th December 2017

A totally expected result az 'Rafa the Gaffer' played a very defensive team to try and stop the Man City juggernaught!
It nearly worked az we were pinned doon in wor own half for virtually the whole of the forst half az The Blue Moonies laid seige to wor goal az we defended the Gallowgate End

The breakthrough and anly goal came in the 31st minute when a De Bruyne chip foond Sterling who volley the baall past Rob Elliot in the Toon goal!

We HAD to attack now and the closest we came to scorin came just 3 mins after the goal when Aarons chipped a baall ower the City defence which woz agonisingly cleared off the line at The Leazes End!

THE TOON LAUNCH A RARE ATTACK AT THE LEAZES END (1st half)

We managed to get to half time with just the one goal deficit in the most one sided half I have even seen at SJP from the opposition!

We were a bit better in the 2nd period az wor visitors took their foot off the gas and we nearly snatched an undesorved point near the end when an Atsu cross foond the heed of Dwight Gayle, but hiz effort went just wide in the last minute of the game!
Just before this, Gayle, who had came on for Joselu in the 62nd minute aallso had a penalty appeal torned doon az the ref booked him for divin'!--a right decision az it torned oot!

SHELVEY PREPARES TO TAKE A FREE KICK AT THE GALLOWGATE END

This woz wor worst run of defeats at home (5 in a row!) since 1953 (even before I woz born!)

The result leaves us in the same position of 15th, but just ONE point above the bottom 3!---Wor home game against struggling Brightin on Saturday and Stoke away on New Years Day will surely define which direction we are heedin'!

Az there haz been ne takeover yet it iz now time for wor beloved? owner 'The Fat Controller' to spend a bit of hiz billions in the January transfor window!---although we arnt confident that he will!!!

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Mbemba (Merino 77), Lascelles, Dummett, Manquillo, Aarons (Atsu 71), Diame, Shelvey, Murphy, Joselu (Gayle 62)

Attendance: 52,311 (highest of season by 8!) 3,100 Blue Moonies!

The "Lets gan on a bender in December" crusade took place in various establishments includin' 'The Leazes End Club', below

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONIES of MANC-LAND *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '1:10pm bells' Wednesday  27th December 2017

SJP AT NIGHT

Tooneet we face a Man City team who have won aall of their 9 away games so far this season and are runnin away with the title aaready!
An eezy 3 points for NUFC then!!!

Of course every good run must come to an end at some point and I can remember when we were runnin away with the old 2nd Division title in the 'Keegan era' and we went to Cambridge who had just set a new leegue record of 31 winless games and we were odds on favorites to win easily---NUFC LOST 1-0!!!

In othaa words, its unlikely that we will win, but this IZ futbaall and yoo nevaa know!!!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---lets hope it isnt a 'bad one'!?

THE HEED-BANGERS 2 THE MONKEY-HANGERS 2 *** NATIONAL LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 27th December 2017

SCOTT BARROW PUT GATESHEED 2-1 UP! (Heed in white)
(er! sorry aboot the blurred picture---a'd had a 'canny 'few'
in The Nags!)

Withoot a Toon boxin' Day game for 'many a year' we decided to heed for THE HEED and watch their derby game against The Monkey-Hangers of Hartlepool to get wor 'fix'

GATESHEED SHIRTS ADORN THE WAALLS OF

'THE NAGS'

We started off at Gatesheed High Street and 'The Heed-Bangers' HQ, which iz The Nags Heed boozer!

THE HARTLEPOOL 'MONKEY-HANGERS' IN FULL VOICE! 

It woz packed with both sets of fans who sang on the tables and seats az we tried to watch the live game on the box where Sporz slaughtered Sooothampton 5-2 at Wembley

SHIRTLESS 'HEED' FANS RESPOND 'IN KIND'!

Aftaa a few 'gargels' it woz time to get some exercise and walk the crooked mile to The International Stadium on The Felling By Pass

The queue for the 2 tornstiles woz longer than the one yoo get at St James' Park az a good crowd woz anticipated

The game kicked off and the packed main stand woz full of Gatesheed supporters while the opposite side woz full of Pool fans

THE 2,100 'MONKEY-HANGERS' IN THE FAR STAND

17th minute: Pool player Oates iz fouled in the box and the ref gives a penalty, much to the fury of the home fans!---Liam Donnelly convorts to put the visitors 1-0 up!

DONNELLY PENALTY 

41st minute: The Monkey-Hangers are reduced to 10 men when Adams pick up hiz 2nd yellow card!

Injury time 1st half: Scott Barrow hits an unstoppable shot from 25 yards to level things for The Heed-Bangers!

51st minute: Scott Barrow hits anothaa unstoppable shot, this time from 30 yards oot to put 'The Heed' aheed!

ACTION AT 'THE RIVER TYNE END'

72nd minute: Despite playin against 10 men, the home side couldn't finish their visitors off and the inevitable happened when The Monkeys equalise through Michael Woods

Full time 2-2

THE PACKED MAIN STAND

Attendance: A bumper crowd of 3,538 includin' 2,100 Monkey-Hangers---ie: they had more fans than The Heed-bangers!  

HAVE YOO SEEN THE QUEEN'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FROM BUCKINGHAM PALACE?

"Both Prince Philip and I wish Rafa and the boys and all of you who live on the banks of the Tyne a very merry Christmas and 'all the best' for the rest of the season ----and wish an 'anus horribilis' to all of you who live on the banks of the wear and we sincerely hope that your team gets relegated to the 3rd tier of  English football where you belong!

Once again a very merry Christmas to you all!"

THE HEED-BANGERS v THE MONKEY-HANGERS *** CONFERENCE*** TODAY

Posted '10:20am bells' Boxin' Day 2017

Unusually NUFC divvint have a game on Boxin' Day az we have an eezy game? v the champions elect 'Blue Moonies of Manc-land tomorrow neet, for live telly.

Az we need wor 'fix', we are heedin' for Gatesheed Stadium where The Heed-Bangers of Gatesheed are takin' on The Monkey-Hangers of Hartlepool in a north east derby at '3 bells' this afternoon in The National Leegue! (Conference)

2,500 tickets have aalready been sold for the game which iz more than double wot Gatesheed normally get for a home game!

The Monkey-Hangers will no doubt bring quite a few of those and a 3,000 plus crowd iz expected in forst competitive meetin' between the clubs in 57 years!

NUFC season ticket holders can get in for a reduced price of £10 on production of your season ticket and its a fiver for sprogs and zimerframeites!

The Nags Heed on Gatesheed High Street iz wor forst port o call, which iz where The Heed-Bangers congregate before matches!

A match report of sorts will appear here tomorrow az well az a report on the build up to The Toon's game, which kicks off at '7:45 bells'!

PS: For the benefit of wor overseas reeeders, The National Leegue/Conference iz the 5th tier of English futbaall, the one below Leegue 2 and Gatesheed's groond iz approximately 2 miles from SJP on the south side of the River Tyne and both groonds are within sight of each other!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Posted '9:05am bells' Christmas Day 2017

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO AALL WOR REEEDERS!

ground number 330 london stadium, west ham---THE JELLIED EELS MOB 2 THE TOON 3 **PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:15am bells' Xmas Eve 2017

VIEW FROM 'THE GODS'!

A very brief match report iz below and I will add to it az the day gans on, aboot wor 'pub crawl' experiences and view of the match from 'the gods'!---much more later when aa get time az the busses gan off orly tooneet, which meenz av got to gan oot on 'the hoy' orlier than usual and come yem orlier (the busses gan off between 5 and 6 pm bells)

"FROM ZERO TO HERO!"

6th minute: Henri Saivet gives the baall away to Arnautovic <(hope av spelt that reet?) and he runs through wor defence az though it didn't exist to plant the baall past Elliot in the Toon goal!

1-0 to The Jellied Eels Mob!

10th minute: Saivet gans from 'zero to hero' when he hits a superb free kick from 20yards oot to level things within 4 minutes of hiz defensive 'gaff' (many of us in the top tier in the away end didn't know that Saivet had scored and thought that it woz in fact Atsu, az we so far away from the pitch at the far end from the goal! (can we have some binoculars left on the seats next time---pleeeze?)

1-1

2 woodwork strikes from Gayle and Richie shud have put us forthaa aheed, but 'lady luck' deserted us once again, (just like against Everton) and we went in on level torms at the break!

53rd minute: The 2nd half started off at a blisterin' pace and within 8 minutes of the restart we went aheed when Diame sidefooted in in front of the 3,000 Toon fans behind that goal!

2-1 to The Toon

 61st minute: Then a penalty save from Elliot followed, before Atsu put us forthaa aheed just after the hour mark to send the 3,000 faithful into raptures!

3-1 to The Toon

69th minute: But we couldn't hang on and The Jellied Eels Mob pulled one back through Ayew and we had a nail bitin' last 20 minutes to endure az they pressed for the equaliser, but we 'hung on in' and won the 3 precious points which propels us up to 15th in the table, just one behind Sooothampton in 13th place---from 'them' doonwards just SIX points separate the rest of the pack, doon to bottom place!
Full time : The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham 2  The Toon 3

Team line ups and pix to follow when aa de a full 'new groond' report---watch this space from '7 bells' onwards tooneet and Xmas day!  (Theres quite a lot to write aboot and it may take time to complete story! (Pleeeze be patient!!!)

"LET'S GAN ON A BENDER IN DECEMBER @ WEST HAM!"

Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards Saturday 23rd December 2017

*We anticipate that not many boozers will be visited before the West Ham game and if we find a 'canny one' not too far from the groond, then we will stop there for the duration!

Divvint forget, we have nevaa been to their new abode before and it will be 'trial and error' az we 'suss oot' any new 'liquid lubrication locations' on the way from King's Cross!

HACKNEY WICK NEAR WEST HAM'S NEW ABODE   EVEN THE LOCAL VICAR DROPPED IN FOR A 'GARGEL'! (2nd pic from bottom!)

FULL TIME  WON 3  2! SAIVET  DIAME   ATSU

The post match celebrations took place here within "hocklin' distance" of the stadium!

Match report tomorrow!☺😊😀

"LONDON (Stadium) CALLING!"---THE SEQUEL!

Posted '2:05pm bells' 'Black Eye Friday' 22nd December 2017

"BACK SECTION, ROW 58---PERHAPS?

Today iz 'Black Eye Friday', the one day of the year I avoid busy pubs az 'The Xmas Jumper' and 'Antler Brigade' will bee oot in force az the annual 'Once a Year Drinkers' descend 'on mass', on the last Friday before Xmas----'hoyin up' and startin fights when they get 'legless and rat-arsed' after 4 or 5 'gargels'! (hence 'Black Eye Friday')

Tomorrow iz 'New Groondhop Day' az 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' descend 'on mass' to the "Eest end of Landan" for wor forst ever visit to the London Stadium, when we take on 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham at their new abode in Stratford!

Three thoosand of us will be there and will be housed in 'The Trevor Brooking Stand', (corner bit!?)
There are 2 separate sections of 1,500 at the front and back and lookin' at mee match ticket I am in the back section row 58 which by my calculation will be aboot az far away from the pitch az possible, near the very back of the stand! (Reminder to myself: "Must bring some binoculars!")

We reeely MUST get sommik from this game az it iz now more than TWO months since we last won (v Palace on October 21st, 1-0!)

Mee forst ever visit to West Ham woz way back in March 1969 in the days before 'man had landed on the Moon'!, computaaz and mobile phones and an archive match report on that game nearly 49 years ago, will appear below this article sometime this afternoon!

Match report on tomorrows game will appear here on Sunday and 'Lets gan on a bender in December' pub crawl pix will appear here sometime tomorrow in a 'live stream'!

STOP PRESS!:

The telly games for February have been annoonced and we must now gan to Palace in London on Sunday 4th February for a '2:15 bells' kick off---meenin' that anothaa owerneet stay in the capital will be needed! 
Moan U at SJP haz aalso been moved to a Sunday 11th February at the same time!

The Bournemoooth away game stays the same with a '3 bells' kick off on Saturday 24th February

"LONDON (Stadium) CALLING!"

Posted 4 25pm bells Thorsday 21st December 2017 @ Trowell sorvices truck park on the M1

A rare event iz happenin this Saturday az we visit a brand new Premyaa Leegue groond for many a year!
The last time a new top flight groond woz visited woz 11 years ago when we played at The Emirates Stadium, Arsenal in November 2006 and drew 1-1

Az we've nevaa been here before its trial and error az to where to gan on a pub crawl and how to travel there az we've hord hotrendous stories of massive queues at the tube and train stations after the match!

More to follow on aall this tomorrow!

NE NEWS IZ BAD NEWS!

Posted just before high noon bells Wednesday 20th December 2017

It iz with increasin anxiety that The Geordie Times keeps lookin at the internet for any news of a takeover! (Aboot 5 times a day!)
The Fat Controller said he wanted rid of NUFC by Xmas, but az this iz less than a week away now this seems highly unlikely!

I have the same problem at work. A new company bought the business I work at last February and we were told that we would have "new trucks within 6 months" with new livery on the side of the vehicles!
10 months doon the line and we are still drivin the old trucks!

And then theres the A1 between Scotch Corner and Leeming Bar in north Yorkshire
The signs told us that the upgrade to a motorway would be completed by "SPRING 2017!" ---they STILL havent finished it az I speak, 9 months after they promised!?
They stated that when they dug the old road up they foond some Roman coins and broken Roman crockery and this stopped progress! (They could have my old NUFC cup which I broke the othaa week in mee kitchen, if they want some broken crockery!)

The point I am tryin to make iz that yoo cant believe anything yoo read theeze days! Especially anythin promised by The Fat Controller! (ie: A major trophy---Champions Leegue---sellin the club etc!)

THE ARSE 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 17th December 2017

View from row 12, seat 725 in 'The Clock End'

"IT'S SO SOUL DESTROYING!"

Yet anothaa defeat, which, with othaa results gannin against us, puts us into the relegation zone in 3rd bottom place!

Whereas many Toon fans thought that 'The Arse' would beat us by a 'cricket score', a 1-0 defeat still gives us zero points at the end of the day!

Backed by 2,900 fans in the away end, we watched in trepidation az the home side missed a few chances az they attacked the end we were in!

The breakthrough came at the mid point of the half when a wayward heeder from Florian Lejeune just outside the box fell nicely for Ozil to volley the baall past Rob Elliot in the Toon goal!

They couldn't add any more and we went in just 1-0 doon at the break!

We just seemed to be gannin through the motions az wor powder puff attack failed to dent The Aresholes defence!

The home side nevaa seemed to get oot of forst gear az gaps in the crowd told yoo that we wornt considered a threat and that those who stayed away went Xmas shoppin' instead!

Perez had 2 chances near the end but predictably missed them both and a 1-0 defeat didn't seem so bad, but it still put us in the bottom 3!

Since the clocks went back in late October we have went backwards doon the table from sixth top to thord bottom!---and it could get worse today if  WBA avoid defeat v Moan U and Swanzee win at Evaatin, we will end up in bottom place!!!

It's so soul destroyin' watchin' this cr*p week after week and ANLY a change of ownership can save us now we 'fink'----but 'The Fat Controller' wants more than £300 million for the club and 'Amanda' wont budge from hor £250 million offer, so we have 'stalemate' in the negotiations!

When oh when will wor misery end????

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Manquillo, Hayden, Merino, Atsu (Richie 54), Perez, Murphy (Gayle 68), Joselu

Attendance: 59,379 (no way!--They coonted the 5,000 Xmas shoppers who wornt there az well!) 

(2,900 fed up Toon fans, who torned on wor 'beloved/beleagered' owner for the forst time since Rafa became manager!)

Footnote: "N-n-n-n-n-n-Nine-teen!"

On the way between bars we caught the number 19 bus from Holborn in London to Islington (where Arsenal play)

On the way the driver stopped the bus, got off and waaked doon the street!---where the hell haz he went to we thought???---the next thing a 'dibble van' with blue lights flashin' pulled in front of the bus and they remonstraited with the driver!

Apparently, he got off to have a 'slash' on a waall doon a back lane and the 'dibble' 'caught him in the act'!---they let him off with a warnin' and we carried on wor jorney to Islington!

Yih couldn't make it up!!!!

Passengers look on in amazement az the

bus driver gets a 'bollockin' off

'the dibble'!

A rather 'drunken' lamp post on the way to the groond!

  "Lets gan on a bender in December" pub pix below!

"LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN DECEMBER @ ARSENAL!

Posted from 1:00pm bells onwards Saturday 16th December 2017

The Shakespeare

Holborn

FT lost 1   0😨

Match report tomorrow!😨