Tuesday 29 November 2022

ING-ER-LAND EXPECTS! (PART 3)

 Posted '6:00pm bells' Tuezday 29th Novembaa 2022

Updated 'high noon bells' Wedinzday



Ing-er-land's 3rd game of the World Cup takes place in an hours time v Wales in Qatar!

'The Geordie Times' will be listenin intentleee on on mee truck radio az av got to gan to graft!----Qualification to the group stage iz guaranteed, provided we divvint lose by 4 clear goals!

Kieran Trippier will start, but will Callum Wilson get a chance to shine?----'The Pope' of course iz the resorve keeper and won't take part unless 'little arms' Pickford gets injured!

Wor prediction iz a narrow win for us!  

"HOWAY  ING-ER-LAND!"

Updated Wedinzday at 'high noon bells'

The narrow win predicted torned oot to be anything but az we won 3-0 with goals from Rashford (2) and Foden----Both Callum Wilson and Kieran Trippier came on az 2nd half subs

The next game iz v Senegal on Sunday at '7:00 bells' in the qwaataa final knockoot stage!---

"HILLSBOROUGH HAPPY HUNTING GROOND!

 Posted 'high noon πŸ”” bells' Tuezday 29th Novembaa 2022

Supermac scores one of hiz 2 goals at Hillsborough in 1974!--The Toon fans are behind the far goal (includin little old me, somewhere!)


NUFC have been drawn away to Sheffeeeld Wedinzday in the thord roond of the FA Cup in January.

Hillsborough iz a happy huntin' groond for Toon fans for this iz the groond where we won 2-0 v Bornley in the 1974 FA Cup semi final in front of 55,000 fans, includin' at least 30,000 Toon fans! (Bornley couldn't sell aall their ticket and Toon fans travelled there to buy the ones they couldn't sell)

Supermac got both wor goals on that memorable day 48 and a half years ago and 'The Geordie Times' woz there to witness it aall those years ago!--The last time we played there in the FA Cup! 

The tie will be played between 6th to 9th January!

Monday 28 November 2022

TADDY ALBION 1 THE BAD BLUE BOYS OF DUNSTON 1 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST

Posted '10:10am bells' Munday 28th Novembaa 2022



"IT WOZ JUST LIKE WATCHIN' ING'LAND THE NEET BEFORE!"

With the World Cup in full swing and nee Toon games because of this, aa got wor Saturday 'fix' at Tadcaster Albion, who were playin The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston in a leegue fixture! 

A new groond and the 67th watchin Dunston for me! (Av aalso been to 20 odd of them with The Toon az well--- but NOT Tadcaster!)

We (Davy the Siver Fox and hiz better half, Barbara) went on the team bus and at just a tenner fare it woz a bargain!

Forst port o caall woz a boozer opposite the huge John Smith's brewery which woz within 'hocklin distance' of the entrance!




Unbeleeevableee they sold the rival Sam Smith's bitter----anothaa brewery which woz not far away!---The story gans that 2 brothers caalled John and Sam Smith ran a brewery in Tadcaster and fell oot!----They then formed their separate breweries---John Smith's and Samual Smith's---so now yi naa!

ANYWAY! There were aboot 7 or 8 Dunston fans in the bar when somebody's mobile telling bone went off!---He woz told in no uncertain torms by the manager that mobiles were banned and that he couldnt answer it!!!!----A policy in AALL Sam Smith bars apparently!




After shovellin 3 pints of 'Sam's finest' doon wor necks, it woz time to heed for the groond which woz actually though the John Smith's brewery! Weird!

"Bear we go! Beer we go! Beer we go!"

"Taddy"--- az the locals caall them, were rock bottom of the table with nee wins and when The Bad Blue Boys (playin in aall grey?) went one-nil up in the 15th minute through Carl Finnigan who heeded home--it looked az though a cricket score woz on the cards!----How wrang we were az Dunston laboured on and against the run of play the home side equalised through Hinsley in the 44th minute, who, unmarked, heeded the baall into the net, after a mix up in the Dunston defence from a corner!

"IZ THAT THE SMAALLEST COVERED STAND IN FUTBAALL?"
"SING IN THE TADWELD!"

The 2nd half woz terrible---just like Ing'land v USA the neet before, az Taddy went for the winner---and they came close several times before the final whistle!----It ended one's a piece and the oppotunity for Dunston to move higher up the table from their 7th position woz lost!----A new groond 'off the list' anyway!




PS: Congratulation to The Toon Lasses who played Barnsley Lasses at SJP yesterday and won 2-1 in the Womans FA Cup, in front of a record crowd of 28,565, beatin' the 22,000 who attended the forst Lasses game at SJP orlier this year!----Which reminds us---the MENS FA Cup 3rd roond draw takes place at Anfield tooneet at '7:00bells'----live on BBC2---NUFC are baall number 27
The Geordie Times will  of course publish wor opponents az soon az we find oot who they are and wethaa it's home or away!
Az per usual  "Watch this space!"

Updated '8:37pm bells'
It's  SHEFF WED AWAY!

Friday 25 November 2022

ING-ER-LAND EXPECTS (PART 2)

 Posted '12:53pm πŸ”” bells' Friday 25th Novembaa 2022 

Updated Saturday mornin



A borin nil-nil draw!


Ing-er-land's 2nd game in the World Cup takes place tooneet and 'The Geordie Times' will be watchin on from The Leazes End Companions Club in the shadows of SJP on Leazes Park Road, when they take on the USA at '7:00 πŸ””s!

There'll be plenty of room in the bar, with a seat and table guaranteed and iz the ideal place to watch the match, az it never gets full--apart from NUFC games that iz!

So if yoo want a few gargels withoot gettin the hassle of a jam packed boozer 6 deep tryin to get to the bar, then this iz the place to watch it, az yoo will get sorved very quickly!

"HOWAY ING-ER-LAND!"


And az for Wales--a certain former Welsh international said this before their game against Iran!

   WALES 0  IRAN 2!

Wednesday 23 November 2022

"ARE YOO sund'lind IN DISGUISE?"

 Posted just after 'high noon πŸ”” bells' Wedinzday 23rd Novembaa 2022



"MORE STRIKE MISERY FOR THE MAGS!"

The Rail union the RTM haz caalled anothaa train strike on the day we play The Arse away in London on January 3rd!

This will be the FOURTH TIME this season that a strike haz been caalled when NUFC are playin a lang distance away game!

And we must hope and pray that we are NOT drawn away in the FA Cup the followin week az there iz yet anothaa train strike that weekend! (PLIMITH AWAY???)

Brightin, Fulim and Sooothampton are the previous 3 where we have had to eethaa drive or travel by train on non strike days!

It really iz gettin ridiculous now az it seems that EVERY lang distance away game iz a strike day!  The question iz----Iz the leader of the RTM union a sund'lind fan?????    

RTM = Really a Mackem Tw*t!



Tuesday 22 November 2022

ING-ER-LAND 6 IRAN 2 *** WORLD CUP

 Posted just after 'high noon πŸ”” bells' Tuezday 22nd November 2022

IZ THAT SOMEBODY IN A SANTA OUTFIT WATCHIN ON SOMEWHERE IN THE TOON FOR £15 TO WATCH ON A BIG SCREEN? ----OH! (HO!) DEAR!


*Ingerland expected and Ingerland delivered with  6-2 hammerin of Iran in their forst group match in Qatar!---A team that included 2 of the 3 Toon players who are part of the squad!  Namely Kieron Trippier from the start and Callum Wilson az a 2nd half substitute!

The Pope woz the one player who didnt get any game time!

Goals from Bellingham, Saka (2), Sterling, Rashford and Grealish completed the rout!----Next up iz the USA on Friday at '7:00 bells' and we will be watchin on from 'The Leazes End' (Companions Club) behind SJP!

PS: Just watched some of the Argentina v Saudi Arabia game (for free on mee telly!) where the Saudis sensationally won 2-1 with 104 minutes on the clock!---Argentina were unbeaten for 36 games before this!----Aaa bet wor owners are pleeeezed!



Sunday 20 November 2022

THE BAD BLUE BOYS OF DUNSTON 1 THE CARLTON TOON PINKIES 3 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 20th Novembaa 2022



A freezing cold day limited the crowd which woz aroond aboot the 200 mark on  the 'Dunston Rivera' (Normally 300)

Carlton had brung aboot a dozen fans and they were in good voice az the game kicked off!

They were playin in bright pink shirts which certainly wouldn't have been allowed in Qatar!



The visitors took the lead in the 40th minute after a mad scramble on the goal line az Davie heeded home at 'The Tea Hut End'!

That the way it stayed til the break az cold drizzle enveloped the groond!


Carlton doubled their  lead in the 60th minute at 'The Dunston *Rocketless End' after an error in the home defensive left Wells with an open goal and he made nee misstayk with hiz sidefooted effort!

(*There used to be a tower block behind this end which woz nicknamed The Dunston Rocket, because of its shape!) 

THE DUNSTON ROCKET---NOW DEMOLISHED!
(Hence the Dunston RocketLESS End!)
   

'The Bad Blue Boys' pulled one back in the 80th minute when Terry Galbraith stabbed the baall home after a melee in the box!

However! 'The Pinkies' got a 3rd goal through Hylton which  put the final nail in 'The Bad Blue Boys' coffin near the death! (Sic!)

It woz then onward to the clubhoose where several liquid lubrications were consumed

Something again, which iz not allowed in Qatar!



*Attendance: 200ish (12 or so Carlton fans)

Saturday 19 November 2022

BAD BLUE BOYS V CALTON TOON *** TODAY

 Posted '1:19pm πŸ”” bells' Saturday 18th Novembaa 2022



With nee Toon games for a few weeks, we are gettin wor Saturday 'fix' at Dunston, where The Bad Blue Boys are takin on Carlton in a Northern Premyaa Leegue East fixture!

Heavy rain in the last few days threatened this fixture, but happily it haz passed a pith inspection this mornin'

A match report will appear here sometime tomorrow

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Friday 18 November 2022

WOT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!

 Posted '1:11pmπŸ”” bells' Friday 18th Novembaa 2022



This time last year NUFC were joint bottom of the Premyaa Leegue table with just 10 points and nee wins and looked 'odds on' to be relegated!

Fast forward a year and the transformation iz amazin!

We have 3 times az many points with 30 and just ONE undesorved defeat at Livaapoool

3rd top and heedin for Europe in eethaa The Champions Leegue or Europa Leegue!---Remarkable!



Aall thanx to one man and hiz transfor budget and hiz abilaty to transform players like Almiron and Joelinton from mediocrity to superstars! Steady Eddie iz deein a remarkable job and amazingly we are anly 5 points behind The Arse in top spot and who we still have to play home and away!

We can aall dream!😴

Thursday 17 November 2022

FAKE FANS FARCE!

 Posted '1:20pm bells' Thorzday 17th Novembaa 2022

The World Cup iz nearly upon us and Jawman fans (India branch!) make banners in ENGLISH!  
Can yoo imagine England fans makin banners in Jawman?


*

Jawman fans ditch their lederhosen for Arab gear!

*

Lets celebrate!---Beer only £80 a pint in plastic cups!


*And Ing-er-land's forst game v Iran iz at '1:00pm πŸ”” bells' on Munday!-- When most fans are at work!---Wot a fiasco! 

Wednesday 16 November 2022

Tuesday 15 November 2022

NUFC TOP OF THE FORM TREE!

 Posted '1:01pm bells' Tuezday 15th November 2022


The latest form guide puts NUFC in forst position in the Premyaa Leegue table!-----Onward and upward!


"EE!-I-EE!-I-EE!-I-O!--
UP THE PREMYAA LEEGUE WE GO!"


Monday 14 November 2022

BRISTOL CITY U21s v NUFC U21s *** AT BRISTOL CITY TRAININ' GROOND AT '1:00PM BELLS TODAY!

 Posted from '12:30pm bells' onwards, Munday 14th Novembaa 2022


Wor U21s play in Bristol today in a Premyaa Leegue Cup tie at their trainin groond in half an hours time and 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be represented by 'Glennn from Ashington' who haz travelled there by overneet bus!


Glennn haz sent a team sheet and some photos aalready and he will send us a match update later!


Az per usual: "Watch this space below!"

Latest: HT Bristol City winnin 3-0!

Latest now 4-0!

FT a 4-0 defeat!πŸ₯Ά

Sunday 13 November 2022

THE TOON 1 P*SS POTTER'S CHELSEEE 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Remembrance Sunday 2022

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

A stunnin' 30 yard screamer from Joe Willock sealed the 3 points for The Toon from a Miggy Almiron run, meenz that we have an amazin 30 points from 15 games, which averages oot at 2 points a game!




Just 2 points behind current champions 'The Blue Moonies of Mancland' in 2nd place and 7 behind The Arse who are top of the tree!----Even the most optimistic Toon fan wouldnt have predicted this----not even us at The Geordie Times, who said at the start of the season that a 7th place finish woz just aboot possible!



Again we played well and fought for every baall with a 'high press', which Chelseee couldn't cope with!

The goal came near the mid-point of the 2nd half at The Gallowgate End, which nearly took the roof of the stadium az the noise woz deafenin'!

NUFC are now unbeaten in 10 Premyaa Leegue games!

Lang may it continue az we reach the World Cup break and a guaranteed Champions Leegue 3rd place for Xmas Day! (We were rock bottom last Xmas!)

If we are still in that 3rd position or just one lower by the January transfor  window, then 'Steady Eddie' will have an ace card to persuade quality players to join us in a push for Champions Leegue qualification ---whereaz last January aall he had woz a joker card to persuade players to join a relegation battle!

Happy days indeed for The Toon Army, the players and the owners of wor great club! 



Attendance: 52,264 (3,200 p*ssed off Chelseee fans!)

THE PLAYERS DEE A LAP OF HONOUR AT THE END OF THE MATCH!

HAPPY FANS LEAVE THE GROOND!

AND IN THE DRESSIN' ROOM POST MATCH!

       πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ 
FOR 2 WEEKS BEFORE THE CHELSEEE MATCH THE BBC PUBLISHED AN ARTICLE ON IT'S WEBSITE THAT THERE WOULD BE A SPORTS WASHING PROTEST BY NUFC FANS AGAINT THE SAUDI TAKEOVER BEFORE AND AFTER THAT GAME!
AFTER THE MATCH THE ARTICLE HAD MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED???----I WONDER WHY ???????
 

Saturday 12 November 2022

THE TOON V CHELSEEE P*SS POTTERS ** THIS EVENIN!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 12th Novembaa 2022

 SJP FROM THE CHINKEEEZ ARCH IN CHINATOON

NUFC gan into today's last game before the World Cup break, lookin for a 6th win 'on the spin' to consolidate wor 3rd position in the Premyaa Leegue table til Xmas at least! 

We are unbeaten in wor last 10 games in aall competitions, with just one undesorved loss in the last 18 games (Includin the last 2 games from last season!) 

Callum Wilson iz sufferin from illness and most likely won't feature and record signin' Isak iz still injured!

Since 'Steady Eddie' took the reins just ower a year ago, The Toon have lost just 3 home games---against Livaapoool, Man City and "er!" CAMBRIDGE in the FA Cup!!! (And just 2 this calendar year!--Livaapoool and Cambridge!) So! Livaaapoool are the anly team to beat us in a Premyaa Leegue game at SJP in 2022! (ONE defeat in 16!)

It's a '5:30 bells' kick off for live telly and it will be a tough game against the P*ss Potter's X1, which of course iz a complete selloot!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!

Az per usual  "Watch this space!"

Friday 11 November 2022

TOON TREBLE HAT-TRICK!

 Posted '5:00pm bells' Friday 11th Novembaa 2022

THE 3 LIONS!

PLAYER OF THE MONTH!

MANAGER OF THE MONTH!

GOAL OF THE MONTH!

 

THE POPE'S 3RD PENALTY SAVE V PALLISS FOR HIZ HAT-TRICK!

"THE FAB 44!"

 Posted '1:01pm bells' Friday 11the Novembaa 2022

THE TEAM BEHIND THE TEAM!---"THE FAB 44!"

ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST