Monday 7 November 2022

THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB 1 THE TOON 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from '1:55pm bells' onwards Munday 7th Novembaa 2022



"JUST CHAMPION!"

Coz of the train strike (which woz caalled off at the last minute!) it woz too late to change wor arrangements to drive to Sooothampton and so it woz a 700 mile plus roond road trip to the south coast in mee 'canny tranny' 9 seater van (Mee alone to Reading and 3 passengers from there!---its a lang story!)

Anyway!---a'd left wor hoose at '1:00pm bells' on Saturday and eventually arrived at wor Sooothampton hotel at '9:30pm bells'!

After hoyin wor bags into wor hotel rooms it woz time to 'hoy' some drink doon wor necks after the exhausting road trip!

Aftter several 'liquid lubrications' we retried to wor rooms for a good neets kip! "ZZZZzzzz!!!"

Next day woz match day and we managed 2 'liquid lubrication locations' before the '2 bells' kick off at St. Mary's.

And wot a day it torned oot to be!----

The game kicked off in brilliant sunshine and pourin rain, then sunshine again az we put Sooothampton 'to the sword'!

"HERE COMES THE SUN!"

The goal sequences were az follows:

35th minute: Miggy Almiron jinks through the home defence to fire home a glorious shot into the corner on the goal, to send the 3,200 Toon fans behind it into raptures!

"HERE COMES THE RAIN!"

58th minute: Chris Wood takes advantage of a loose baall to torn and fire home to double wor lead!

62nd minute: A fantastic through baall from Kieron Trippier finds Joe Willock who cooly places a precision shot into the corner of the net!


 

89th minute: A late consulation goal for 'The Simon Tempar Mob' through Perraud woz witnessed by just 10,000 home fans---the rest had left by then! ('The Simon Templar Mob'---an explanation: The 1960s cult TV series 'The Saint' starred Roger Moore az the detective Simon Templar. Sooothampton's nickname iz of course 'The Saints'---get it???) 



91st minute: Bruno completes the rout by hittin a belter from the corner of the box az topless Toon fans showed of their MAGnificent physiques to the world, az they danced in the sun and rain! (It woz that kind of day!)

"BEER WE GO!--BEER WE GO!--BEER WE GO!" 🍻
(GREAT PHOTO OF THE LITTLE GIRL WITH HOR EAR MUFFS ON!)

"YOO TOO CUD HAVE A BODY LIKE MINE!"🍺X 1,000!

The win lifts us up to 3rd in the table and meeenz that whatever happens against Chelsea next Saturday, we will still be in a Champions Leegue place by Xmas Day!

"JUST CHAMPION!"



Attendance: 30,402 (3,200 very happy Toon fans!)

*After the match we heeded back to pick mee canny tranny up from the car park next to wor hotel at '4:30 bells'---It took nearly an hour to get oot of Sooothampton and then anothaa hour to get to Reading where aa dropped 'Sarnie Steve' off (he woz workin doon there)  then onward to 'Donny' (Doncaster) to drop 'Mal the Inglish Skool Teachaa' off (he lives there!) and then to Durham sorvices to drop 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' off (he lives nearby!) and then finally to drop 'Big Al' off near hiz home near Newcasil racecourse! (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) before finally gettin to mee Tyneside abode at '1:00am bells' on Munday mornin and 707.6 miles after leavin there at '1:00pm bells on Saturday!---totally knackered by this time of course!

Or 1,138.772 kilometres for yoo metric gurus! (Aye aa took mee socks and shoes off and used mee fingers and toes to work it oot!---honest!)

Woz it worth it????----"YOO BET IT WOZ!"

🎵UP THE PREMYAA LEEGUE WE GO!🎵

5 Liquid Lubrication Locations visited 

(All in Sooothampton)













Runnin total for away games so far this season: 
83 Liquid Lubrication Locations visited (so far!)
Tour of Austria 41
Brightin 8
Tranny Rovers 2
Wolverhampton Wanabeez 4
Livaapool 4
Fulim 8
Moan U Muppeteers 1
Sporz 12
Sooothampton 5
*








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