Saturday 31 March 2018

THE TOON v 'UDDERSFIELD *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Good Friday 30th March 2018
Updated Saturday '11:05am bells'
Az I speak it iz 'chuckin it doon' ootside (rain!) and its freeezin' caad az well! 🐧

After a 3 week break we are in action against
'uddersfield⬅ (Yorkshire prenoonciation!) @ SJP

It will be the forst time they have been here for a top flight game for 47 years! (1971) and since then they have been on a roller coaster ride havin 'visited' aall 4 leegues since then!

Will Salami feature for us?
He played 27minutes for Algeria in midweek and of course haz still to kick a baall for us sice hiz loan move in January!

Matt Ritchie iz a doubt after pullin oot of Scotland's squad on Tuesday but iz expected to play!

Yet again this iz a 'must win game' az the season draws to a close with games runnin oot!

Match report will follow tomorrow---sometime!

'HEEDBANGERS' IN ACTION!

With ne game yesterday we decided to heed for 'The Heed' where Gatesheed took on Dagenham and Redbridge in the National Leegue!
For a match report on that game see next post doon !

THE HEEDBANGERS 0 THE DAGGERS 0 *** NATIONAL LEEGUE

Posted '11:00am bells' Saturday 31st March 2018
The penalty save by the nephew of someone?
(See photo of team line ups!)

On a bitterly caad Good Friday (global warmin'---your havin' a laff!) aa heeded for The Nags Heed on Gatesheed High Street for the forst of many 'liquid lubrications' with 'Tex' and Les who iz a Heed season ticket holder!

After lubricatin' wor tonsils several times, we heed for The Heed's groond which iz aboot a mile waalk from the toon centre!

A smaall queue at the tornstiles greeted us az the Heed faithful entered the main stand!
Before the kick off there woz a minutes silence for those who had lost their lives in the armed forces!
The armed forces leave the pitch to loud applause!

73 Daggers diehards are in the far stand who made the lang trip from "Eest Landan"! (East London)

To be honest it woz a c*ap game with both sides missin' chance after chance, preferin' to fire the baall ower the bar, rather than into the net!
The highlight of the game came at The Byker Waall End  (The Byker Waall iz in the distance across the Tyne!) when Dagenham were awarded a clear penalty!
The Gatesheed keeper, (who's name aa didnt naa) dived to hiz left and saved brilliantly to the loudest cheers of the match!
Aa woz told by 'Tex', the keepers name, but aa thought he woz windin' me up! (See team line up photo below!)

Anyway! It woz back to 'The Nags' after the game for the evenin' session before (finally!) heedin' yem! (The anly GOOD thing aboot this Friday woz the booze up!)

Attendance: 770 (73 Dagenham and Redbridge fans!)
"We woz there!" (At a price!)

Thursday 29 March 2018

JOYOUS NEWS FOR NUFC MAD-SAD GR☺UNDH😊PPERS!

Posted 6:40pm bells Thorsday 29th March 2018
@ Trowell sorvices truck park
Wycombe's groond!

Stocksbridge's groond!

It haz been conformed that wor U23 cup tie v Sheff Utd WILL be played at Stocksbridge Park Steels FCs groond a week tomorrow, which iz a few miles north of Sheffield!
Aalso it haz been conformed that wor U23s away game v Reading will be played at Wycombe Wanderers groond, on April 16th, which meeenz that we will visit TWO new groonds within the space of TEN days!

Joyous news indeed!!!!😀

Tuesday 27 March 2018

POSSIBLE NEW GROOND?

Posted 3:00pm bells Tuesday 27th March 2018
Updated Thorsday

Tooneet Sheff U U23s play Derby U23s in the U23s Premyaa Leegue Cup and the winners play NUFC U23s in the next roond!
Sheff U play their resorve games at Stocksbridge which iz a few miles north of Sheffield!

The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers await the result with baited breath!

Updated at midneet bells Woodall sorvices truck park

It IZ Sheff United away   they beat Derby 2-1
But will the game due to be played between 6th and 9th of April be played at Stocksbridge?

Updated Thorsday

The above game will be played on Friday April 6th @ '2:00pm bells'
It will eethaa be played @ Sheff Utds Bramall Lane groond or @ Stockbridge Park Steels groond!---A decision iz imminent!

Of course we hope its @ Stockbridge az we have been to Bramall Lane many times before!

We await the venue with baited breath (again!)😲

Monday 26 March 2018

NORTH EAST'S TOP SUPPORTED CLUBS 2018

Posted '6 20pm bells' Munday March 26th 2018
At Trowell truck park M1
Ower 30,000 rugby fans torned up at St James' Park on Saturday to watch the Falcons v Northampton game---which iz more than torned up for the 2 Tees-wear derby games!

Below iz the list of the highest attendances for north east clubs so far in 2018


1 THE TOON: 52,309 v Moan United
2 NEWCASIL FALCONS: 30,174 v Northampton
3 The SMBs: 29,048 v The Smoggies
4 The Smoggies: 26,399 v The SMBs

Sunday 25 March 2018

THE BAD BLUE BOYS OF DUNSTON 2 *** NEWTON AYCLIFFE PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS 1 *** NORTHERN LEEGUE

Posted '10:49am bells' Sunday 25th March 2018
3 members of the Australian branch of the
Dunston Supporters Club made the trip from 'doon under'!

Dunston won this hard fought encoontaa 2 -1 at Federation Park with 2 forst half goals from Liam Thear with a 25 yard rasper and captain Dale Burrell with a well placed shot at The Tea Hut End!
Aycliffe, playin in a horrendous aall purple kit, replied in the 2nd period through Ben Trotter!

The Bad Blue Boys held on to take the points in front of a 130 crowd which included 2 Purple People Eater fans!



"WEMBLEY WOE!"

At Gatesheed Stadium 3 miles away there woz heartbreak when The Heedbangers failed to beat Bromley in the semi final of the FA Trophy by drawin 1-1 and losin 3-2 on aggregate, which meeenz that Bromley gan through to the Wembley final!
Ower 2,200 were present including 250 Bromley fans!


"MEEENWHILE @ SJP!"

In the rugby, Newcasil Falcons beat Northampton Saints 25-22 in front of a record Falcons crowd of ower 30,000 in wot woz classed az 'THE BIG ONE'! (they normally get 6,000 @ their home base of Kingston Park!)
The 2nd game in a row that 'The Saints' have been beaten at St James'z
(NUFC beat The Sooothampton 'Saints' 3-0 in The Premyaa Leegue in wor last home game!)

Saturday 24 March 2018

HEEDBANGERS OR BAD BLUE BOYS!?

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 24th March 2018

With ne Premyaa Leegue games for the 2nd week runnin (because of the International break this time!) it's a choice between Gatesheed and Dunston for me to get mee Saturday afternoon 'fix'!

While 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed' are playin a semi final Trophy game at the International Stadium v Bromley, 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' are playin at Federation Park in a Northern Leegue encoontaa against Newton Aycliffe!

'The Heedbangers' gan into this 2nd leg game 3-2 doon with the prize of a Wembley final if they can overcome the deficit!
A good 2,000 plus crowd iz therefore antisipated and good luck to them!

'The Bad Blue Boys' game iz the one I have chosen, az this iz the team I normally follow when The Toon arnt playin! (A 200 'crowd' antisipated at this one!)

A match report on that game will be forthcomin sometime tomorrow, plus news of how Gatesheed got on!

Meeeenwhile! -- there IZ a game on at St James' Park this afternooon, when Newcasil Falcons take on Northampton in a rugby match, entitled 'THE BIG ONE'! (Thiz iz the forst time they have ever played there!)


A crowd of nearly 30,000 iz expected, which amazingly iz aboot 5 times the average gate for a Falcons home match! (They normally play at Kingston Park some 4 miles north west of SJP!)

Friday 23 March 2018

"DESPICABLE DASTARDLY DEEDS!"

Posted '12:40pm bells' Friday 23rd March 2018



THE 'SKY'S' THE LIMIT!---THE ABSOLUTE 'LIMIT'! 

News that wor game at Evaatin, which we thought couldnt be moved, az the live telly games for April had aalready been picked, HAZ been moved at the last minute at the bequest of SKY!
The game haz been moved from Saturday 21st April to Munday 23rd April with an '8 bells' kick off!---which meeeenz!---we will be unable to get back by train, az we will miss the last one oot of Lime Street (Liverpool)

Many of the 3,000 Toon fans who have bought tickets, like Colonel Gadaffi (the one from Bracknel in Berkshire and NOT the one from Libya!) had aalready booked trains and hotels for a Saturday game, thinkin that that date woz 'cast in stone', anly to find oot that it had been moved to the followin Munday neet, yesterday! ---DESPICABLE!

This iz the 11th time (ELEVENTH!) that one of wor away games haz been moved for live telly this season and ne thought haz been given to 'us' yet again!

The match tickets have the Saturday date on them and they have sold oot! (While NUFC will refund costs of match tickets for those unable to travel---train fares and hotels are NOT included---of course!)
Of course many fans cant gan to midweek away games for a number of reasons and they are the ones who will miss oot and they will have to watch it on the box!

EVEN WOR OWN CLUB ARE AGAINST US!






Wot SKY are sayin iz: "Even when we pick games for TV ,we can STILL change it at the last moment if we want to----just to f**k you up!"
"We dont care if you have booked trains and hotels!---Its your daft fault for not waitin til the last minute, just in case we change it at a whim!" (cheap advance train tickets are unrefundable and hotels may charge a fee for cancellations!)

In othaa words----even when the games are picked for the telly we cant be sure that that will be the case anymore!

PS: In my case, luckily I hadn't booked any trains etc, but I will have to take anothaa days holiday from work to gan now!

Az for a date for wor game at Wembley v Sporz???, we have been told that it will be played anytime between May 1st and May 10th, but we wont find oot til April, when it iz too late to book 'cheapies'!
(Yoo cud aalways 'gamble' and book an open advance train ticket and a 10 day hotel stay in London!---if yoo are rich enough that iz!)

DASTERDLY DEEDS INDEED!


Thursday 22 March 2018

GEORDIE TIMES PUB QUIZ ANSWER

Posted 1:30pm bells Thorsday 22nd March 2018

Did yoo get the answer to yesterday's quiz?
The pub in question iz within hocklin distance
of 'The Gallowgate End'

Wednesday 21 March 2018

GEORDIE TIMES PHOTO QUIZ***** WHERE IN THE TOON?

Posted 12 45pm bells Wednesday 21st March 2018

Az there are ne games til a week on Saturday due to the International break---and because we have nowt else better to de!
In which famous pub 'tool-shed'
 in the Toon does this bog seat belong?

Aall will be revealed tomorrow!

Monday 19 March 2018

ROYAL ANTWERP 1 THE TOON XXII 1 *** FRIENDLY FIXTURE IN SPAIN

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 19th March 2018
IT FINISHED 1-1 !

Trip report from 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' 'Dave from York'

I got bus from mee hotel at 8 20 bells to the airport to pick up hire car. (Mee wife Lesley woz still in bed!----"ZZZZzzzz!!!!")
The car woz black n white! (Of course!)

We drove 50 miles to the groond with guidence from 'Biffa the beer'!
We met non flyer 'Glennn from Ashington' who had travelled 2 days by bus az he iz terrified of flyin'! (He eethaa desoves a medal the size of a dustbin lid--- OR a straight jacket'!)
IN COMPLETE CONTRAST, THE TEAM BUS WOZ RED N WHITE!

Tickets were bought at the gate for €5 and we went into the bar (az yi de!)
The place woz filled with Geordie ex pats, many wearin Toon tops from years gone by!

Amazingly, hardly anyone drank beer, but the place DID run oot of coffee cups!
We then foond a bar ootside that WOZ sellin beer only and it woz dein a roarin trade!

Eventually we went into the groond to brave the elements and there woz a strong cold wind blowin in wor faces and we were freeezin! (Wot! in Spain?)

Approx 1,300 were in attendance to watch the 3, 45min halves!

It woz a competitive game and worth seein'!
Matt Ritchie scored for us and Dwight Gayle missed a penalty and the game finished 1-1 (eventually!) 4 bookings sums it up!
In total 22 of the 27 players who travelled got some game time. (Slimani didnt feature---again!)

'Dave from York' writin for The Geordie Times!

Sunday 18 March 2018

ROYAL ANTWERP v THE TOON XXV **** HIGH NOON BELLS TODAY!

Posted '10:10am bells' Sunday 18th March 2018

In less than 2 hours time The Toon will be in action in sunny Spain when we take on Antwerp of Belgium in a 'stop-gap' friendly in a place caalled Pinatar!
THE PINATAR 'ARENA' WHERE THE GAME WILL BE PLAYED

Can't be there myself , this time, but wor intrepid 'NUFC mad sad groundhopper' 'Dave from York' will be sendin' us a brief report and some match/bar pix (if he doesnt forget!?)

The game consists bizzarly of 3, 45 minute 'halves' to give aall the 25 players (that's reet TWENTY FIVE!) who have travelled over, some game time!
This meeenz that the team that ends the game will be completely different to the one that starts!

Dave haz sent 'The Geordie Times' a photo of the match tickets to make me jelious, az he sits in a nice waam seafront boozer az the rest of us freeeeze to death in sub zero temperatures back home az heavy snow engulfs Tyneside!
"Any chance of comin' in?"
It's freeeeezin' oot here!"


Watch this space from this afternoon onwards!

Upate '220pm bells'
Drew 1-1  Matt Richie scored, Dwight Gayle missed a penalty!

"SPRING IZ HERE!?"

Posted '9:57am bells' Sunday 18th March 2018

"I'm not sayin' it's cold on 
Tyneside today---BUT!

Saturday 17 March 2018

WEATHAA SCUPPERS GEORDIE TIMES PLANS!

Posted '2:00pm bells' Saturday 17th March 2017


Because aa woz unable to gan to Spain for tomorrows friendly v Antwerp, aa decided to 'groundhop' to a new venue on Morseyside instead!

Wor U18s were due to play Everton's equivelent at their Finch Farm trainin complex in the Halewood district of Liverpool, but because of the severe wethaa warnings for the Pennines, it woz reluctantly decided to abandon the trip for fear of bein stranded on the M62---the highest motorway in Ing-er-land!

Aalso there woz the fear of the game not bein played at all and with ne way of findin oot on mee 'canny tranny's radio (Radio 5 Live and Talk Sport dont give info on such games!) this woz anothaa reason not to gan! (at the time writin aa STILL divvint naa if the game started at '1:00 bells'?)

Mee fave non leegue side 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston were due to play Newcastle Benfield in a Northern Leegue encoontaa, but this game woz postponed due to a waaterlogged pitch
at Benfield's groond in the east end of the Toon! (it will be 'snow bound' az we speak!)

This haz left me with ne alternative but to 'gan on the hoy' in various locations in the Toon, az the results come through on the bars tellys!

Hopefully results will gan wor way in the Premyaa Leegue games that are bein played today! (PS: 'We' arnt playin coz wor intended opponents, Sporz, are playin' in the FA Cup at Swanzee!)

Update
Wor U18s DID make it toFinch Farm, but were hammered 7-0 !  Good job aa didnt make it---EH!😨

Thursday 15 March 2018

HOW TO PUNISH YOUR CHILD IF HE/SHE HAZ BEEN NAUGHTY!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 15th March 2018

"DESPERATE TIMES MEEENZ DESPERATE MEASURES!"






"THAT'LL PAY OFF THEIR £150 MILLION DEBT!
---WON'T IT!?"

Breaking news!
The SOS ticket office haz been swamped!
It's rainin very heavily in the sund'lind area!

A GAME OF THREE HALFS!

Posted '12:30pm bells' Thorsday 14th March 2018

   

Because of the 3 week break between games, wor squad iz away to southern Spain for a few days trainin at a place caalled Pinatar

A friendly game (of sorts) haz been arranged against Royal Antwerp of Belgium in Pinatar next Sunday dinnatime, which will comprise bizzarly of 3, 45 minute 'halfs' to give aall the squad some game time!

That meenz that 23 or 24 players will be put through their paces in wot iz in effect a glorified trainin session!
For that reason and the fact it iz a logistical nightmare to get there and back in 2 days (we need to get back for various reasons) ,we have decided to give it 'a miss', especially az its not bein played on a propaa groond anyway, and who's ever hord of a game of 3 halfs with 24 players a side?

This iz not a decision we have taken lightly! (IF it woz a propaa European competition game we would be there, for certain!)

The game of 135 minutes will be played at the Pinatar Arena, which by lookin at the pics iz in a trainin complex with 6 rows of seats on each side of the pitch! ('Arena' it iz NOT!)

We have been told that the players are under strict instructions NOT to nick any taxis like some West Brom players did in Barcelona, or gettin a sun tan like West Ham players are now doin in Florida (or wherever they are?)

I am still gannin to watch Newcasil ower the weekend however!---That's Newcastle Benfield v Dunston Bad Blue Boys in a Noorthern Leegue encoontaa in the east end of the Toon!

PS there ARE some NUFC mad sad groundhoppers gannin!
Namely Biffa the beer, Glennn from Ashington and Dave from York and hiz 'better half' Lesley!



Tuesday 13 March 2018

"ONE MORE SEAT THAN NEWCASTLE!"

Posted '12:25pm bells' Tuesday 13th March 2018

It's just after half time at the SOS and Villa are leadin' 2-0
"One more seat!---
Your havin a laff!"😅

Former sund'lind 'supremo' bob murray once said that he wanted "One more seat than Newcastle!", when their new stadium woz built in 1997, claimin that they had more fans than us!

He aalso copied Benfica and gave it it's ridiculous name, after concludin that az it woz built on an old colliery pit site, which of course woz in darkness, it should be caalled the exact opposite!?

Fast forward 21 years and we are telt that because of apathy, they are to close the top concourse of their stadium and relocate season ticket holders to ' the lower pink seated bowl' az they cant fill the top one!

Meeenwhile and in total contrast NUFCs next home game v 'uddersfield in just under 3 weeks time iz a complete 52,300 sell oot!

For "one more seat", read "30,000 less seats than Newcastle needed'!"

Monday 12 March 2018

THE PORFECT WEEKEND! *** SO FAR!

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 11th March 2018

The Premyaa Leegue results ower the weekend have AALL went in wor favour for a change!

Wot we 'wished for' and actually happened, woz az follows!:

We wanted Everton to beat Brighton and they did!
We wanted Lestaa to beat WBA and they did!
We wanted Bornley to beat WHU and they did!
We wanted Chelski to beat Palace and they did!
We wanted 'uddersfield and Swanzee to draw so they both dropped 2 points---and they did!
And finally we wanted The Toon to beat Sooothampton (beleeeve it or not!) ---and we DID!

Tooneet 'The P*ss Potts' of Stoke are at home to Man C----an away win pleeeze!🙏

Updated 11 40pm bells at Woodall sorvices truck park M1

Aall wor wishes have come true az we wanted Stoke to lose to Man City and they did!!!

The porfect weekend for us!

Sunday 11 March 2018

THE TOON 3 THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '10:52am bells' Sunday 11th March 2018

"KENEDY FOR PRESIDENT! --- TRUMP OOT!"
"KENEDY IN!"

"TRUMP OOT!

We won the 'must win game' in style at St James' Park yesterday and it shud have been more against a p*ss poor Sooothampton side who had won just 1 game oot of the last 16 before they played us!

Thick fog engulfed Tyneside az the game kicked off and it took us just 66 seconds to open the scorin' when an absolutleee surperb lob from Jonjo Shelvey foond Kenedy who chested the baall doon and torned brilliantly to hit a left footed shot past McCarthy in the Sooothampton goal at The Leazes End!

(A contender for goal of the season for sure!) (See photo below from mee camera phone!) We understand that the roar of the crowd could be hord from the Gatesheed game v Maidenheed across the Tyne at the International Stadium 2 miles away!
(The Heed won 7-1 incidently!---that's GatesHEED!)
A Shelvey run then foond Dwight Gayle just a couple of minutes later, but he shot straight at McCarthy and the chance woz gone!

However! and just on the half hour mark a Perez pass foond Gayle who unselfishly gave to 'President' Kenedy and he had the simple task of sidefootin' the baall into the net to give us a 2 goal cushion!

Sooothampton and their 1,600 fans were totally demorilised by this time, az we went for a 3rd before the break, but somehow we couldnt find the net again!
(HT 2-0)

We completed the porfect day az the fog drifted ower the ground, when yet anothaa superb pass from Shelvey on the edge of the box fell to Matt Richie, who fired home with hiz left foot at The Gallowgate End!

3-0 and 3 precious points for sure that lifts us 5 points from the drop zone!
In particular both Shelvey and Kenedy had ootstandin' games!

Geordie Times fact file: We've anly lost 2 Leegue games this year v Man C and The Liverbirds away!

Aaltogether now! "THE FOG ON THE TYNE IZ AALL MINE AALL MINE!"
ONE SUNDAY NEWSPAPER EVEN
COPIED WOR 'PRESIDENT KENEDY'
HEADLINE!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Dummett, Ritchie, Shelvey (Merino 83), Diame, Kenedy (Atsu 78), Perez, Gayle (Joselu 69)

Attendance: 52,246 (1,600 Sooothampton fans who made a 320 mile wasted jorney from the south coast!)

'The Simon Templar Mob'---an explanation!
Simon Templar (Roger Moore) played 'The Saint' in the 1960's hit telly programme---Sooothampton of course are nicknamed 'The Saints' 

Wor "I'm feelin' a bit parched!---lets gan on the hoy in March!" drinkin ' marathon continued in The Bodega, The Leazes End Club, The Strawberry and The Premyaa Inn before and after the match!



Othaa results went wor way in a 'porfect day' with fans in revolt at West Ham in particular!
A West Ham pitch invader insists that
they MUST take their corners from the centre spot!


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