Friday, 30 October 2020

"LAST WEEK WAS MORE LIKE IT!" ??????????

 Posted 'high noon bells' Halloween Saturday' 31st October 2020



"KEYBOARD WARRIORS!"

Wor broken nosed manager haz come oot with a ridiculous statement, sayin' that last weeks 'faall asleep game' v Wolves at Molineux woz "More like it!"

Wot does he meeeen??? The performance v Wolves woz total c*ap!----2 shots on target aall game, includin Murphy's free kick goal! "ZZZZzzzz!!!!"

He's aalso said that fans are 'keyboard warriors' on the internet, who are slaggin hiz tactics and says that that iz the opinion of a minority of  supporters---Divvint 'fink' so, like, Brucey baby!

Iz he in 'denial'?

However there IZ sommik that he haz said that we agree with---lettin' fans back into groonds!-----Fans can gan to the pictures (cinema) in doors and watch games on the big screen, but are not allowed into open air stadiums!---It don't make sense!---just like the 'tier 3' rule that pubs that sorve food CAN stay open, but pubs who just sell beer CANNIT!???

Luckily the north east iz still in 'tier 2' and AALL pubs can remain open, so we will be able to watch wor home game v Evaatin in Rosies Bar (which anly sorves beer!), which iz within 'hocklin distance' of SJP!

Wor plans for today woz to heed for Dunston where 'The Bad Blue Boys' were takin on Ossett United in a Northern Premyaa Leegue North West Division game (where 200 fans ARE allowed in!)

Unfortunately an Ossett player haz went doon with the 'bat out of hell virus' and the game haz been postponed!---The 3rd time this season that Dunston have had a game caalled of coz of the virus! 

Like aa say, it don't make sense that the likes of Dunston and Newcasil Blue Star can let a few fans in, but NUFC CANNIT let ANYBODY into a 52,000 seater stadium!???

It iz now just ower 8 months since we last set foot inside SJP and we have now missed 10 games in a row at home in the Leegue and cups!

(Last home game when we could gan woz on February 29th v Bornley, a 0-0 draw in front of 52,219!---- and watchin us on the telly etc. since then haz been pure torture!- (Watchin on a telly, laptop or phone!-----and some of wor woeful performances, Brightin, Moan U, Wolves etc!)

Shelvey, Dubravka, Gayle and Ritchie are still crocked, but Hayden, Matty Longstaff, Dummett and Clark are in contention for the Evaatin game on Sunday afternooon! ('2:00 bells' ko live on Sky) (nee pay per view)

A full match report on the game will appear here---eventually!


PS: We are frantically lookin' for another Saturday 'fix' after the late Dunston cancellation----lets see if we can find anothaa new groond a this afternooon, in the never endin' 'magical mystery groonds tour'!


Az per usual---"Watch this space!"


Updated Sunday mornin'

We DID indeed find a game!---A 8 goal thriller in the Northern Alliance!---Aall will be revealed on Munday, after the NUFC match report!

IT'S A GAME OF GIVE AND TAKE!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 30th October 2020



News that at last NUFC are to refund fans for games they wont see, haz reached 'The Geordie Times'!

But hang on a minute? ---There's a 'catch'?

Lang torm season ticket holders can claim money back for 5 games, BUT must still continue to pay monthly direct debits for the rest of the season and then claim THAT back when 10 home games have been played, etc!?

Its aall Irish to me (excuse the pun!)  Why not just give the money back for missed games and stop the direct debits until we can gan back?--Like aall othaa Premyaa Leegue clubs have done???

Of course that's too easy, isnt it just!?  And there is a deadline to dee this for the forst 5 games (Friday November 27th) --and then the next 5! (whenever!?)---and then the next 5! (whenever!?)

Shud we not be able to gan back at aall this season, then the money paid will gan to pay for the 2021-2022 season tickets!

Meeenwhile, mee latest bank statement tells me that October's direct debit woz taken oot on the 15th of the month!

Will fans lose their loyalty away points if they claim the money back? (Ower 500 in my case!)  We divvint naa?, so, in my case aa will just keep on paying and not upset the 'apple cart'!

It could anly happen to us!

Wednesday, 28 October 2020

"SSHHH!" PREMYAA LEEGUES SECRET MEETING!

 Posted '11:01am bells' Wedinzday 28th October 2020



"A CAN OF WORMS OPENED!"

News that the PL have held secret meetings and conversations with the so caalled 'big six' over project 'big picture' has infuriated the othaa 14 club owners,  who knew nothing aboot the meeting!

If this doesn't prove that Masters and Co arnt corrupt and are crawling on their hands and knees to pleeze them, then nothing will!

Aalso a legal letter has been sent to the PL informing them that legal proceedings will be taken against them aboot the failed PIF takeower by a fans group caalled The Newcasil Consortium Supporters Limited, with the full support of wor beleagered owner 'The Fat Controller'! (that the UK fair competition rules have been broken to pieces under the 'fit and proper owners and directors test'!)

Its aall fallin into place now that the 'big six' DID interfere in the takeower and wanted it stopped!

Much more on all this in the comin days nee doubt!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Tuesday, 27 October 2020

THE FAT CONTROLLER REJECTS PPV PRICE!===BUT WHERES WOR SEASON TICKET MONEY---LIKE, MIKE?

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 27th October 2020

"HYPOCRISY OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!"



"MONEY?---WHAT SEASON TICKET MONEY???"

Az there were apparently anly 40,000 pay per view customers for the NUFC v Moan U game, wor beloved owner 'The Fat Controller' haz said that the price of £14:95 iz not acceptable to any futbaall fan and that the cost should be slashed to a fiver at the most!

There iz nee mention whatsoever aboot refundin NUFC season ticket holders for games this season that we are currently payin for but wont be able to attend!

The shear hypocrisy of hiz statement beggars belief!

My message to him iz, "Can we have wor money back pleeze, for the monthly direct debits that yoo are takin from wor bank accoonts, az it seems highly unlikely that we will see a home game 'live' for some considerable time!"

"HELLO FAT CONTROLLER!---HELLO!---HELLO!---!?"

"SORRY! YOU MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!"

Monday, 26 October 2020

NEWCASIL BLUE STAR 6 PORCY MAIN AMATAAZ 3 *** NORTHERN ALLIANCE (Played on Saturday)

 Posted '7:30pm bells' Munday 26th October 2020


"LIFE BEGINS AT 40!"

We intended to gan to Lancashire for wor new groond 'fix' where Dunston were away to Mossley near Oldham, but one of the Mossley players had 'the bat out of hell' virus and the game woz postponed!

And so we had to make alternative plans and wor new groond 'fix' took us to Scotswood in the far west end of The Toon where Blue Star were takin on Porcy Main in a Northern Alliance Leegue game at The Scotswood Sports Centre!

Me and 'Tex' Taylor caught the number 40 bus from Gallowgate near St. James' Park and made the 'trek' to Scotswood via St. James' Park, Stanhope Street and the A69 West Road.

"A TICKET TO RIDE!"
"THE PROOF THAT "WE WOZ THERE!"

We arrived 20 minutes before the '2:30 bells' kick off to be told at the gate that it woz "Season ticket holders anly!" coz the capacity limit woz just 40 in this leegue! (Ridiculous!)



We didnt have season tickets of course, but after the gateman had had a conversation with a committee man (we assumed?), they eventually decided let us in for the princely sum of 3 quid each, which we were more than willin' to pay! (A 40 crowd limit iz crazy!---Dunston can let 200 in, so why not here?)

Az the game kicked off there looked to be well ower 40 in attendance, in a groond that had 3 smaall covered stands, which we didnt expect! (an open field with a little shelter iz wot we expected!)



Az usual for these games, there were nee team sheets or programmes, so we didnt have a clue just who woz playin for eethaa side!

IZ THAT JONJO SHELVEY?  
SPOT THE HONG KONG BANNER AND YOUNG FLAG WAVER!

And so aa looked it up later, on Blue Stars Twitter feed and have added the goalscorers!

There then followed a 'goals feast' with the home side in black n white stripes, takin the lead in the 7th minute through Broadhead with a fine shot! 1-0 to Blue Star

An unfortunate own goal at the othaa end levelled the scores in the 26th minute when a cross by a Porcy Main player woz deflected into the goal by a 'Star' defender!

THE BANNER SAYS: 'ONE CITY--ONE CLUB'!    
AND OF COURSE THERE IZ 'ONE FAN'!

The home side retook the lead in the 25th minute when their number 9 who I recognised, but couldnt put a name to?, scored when he woz put clean through! (Andy Bulford who used to play for Dunston)

'Bully' added hiz 2nd from the penalty spot in the 34th minute and completed hiz hat-trick bang on half time with a fine heeded goal!



In between this, there woz a goal for 'Porcy' in the 40th minute from their number 15 with a good shot, after some bad defendin! ( Kelly) HT 4-2 to Blue Star!


NEE CUPS OF TEA IN THE WARMTH OF THE DRESSIN' ROOMS HERE, DURIN' THE HALF TIME TEAM TALKS, IN THIS LEEGUE!

Bully then got hiz 4th goal on the hour mark, with a scrambled effort in front of goal!

5-2 to 'Star'

Collinson then pulled anothaa goal back for 'Porcy' in the 71st minute---a shot from Collinson!


PORCY MAIN HAVE 12 'PLAYERS' ON THE PITCH!

The final goal in this 9 goal feast came in the 82nd minute when Pentland fired home! (Well worth the £3 admission fee!)

Final score: Newcasil Blue Star 6   Porcy Main Amataaz 3

On top of aall that! the frame of the goal woz aalso hit several times in this topsy turvy game and man of the match woz Porcy Main's keeper who looked a bit owerweight, but make quite a few ootstandin' saves to keep the score doon!

Official attendance: Beleeeve it or not, 40! 

THE SCOTSWOOD SOCIAL CLUB IZ THE WHITE BUILDIN' BEHIND THE GOAL!
(UNBEKNOWN TO US!)

After the match we heeded for wot we thought woz The Scotswood Social Club up the hill for a few pints, but it woz closed?-

THE GROOND IZ IN THE DISTANCE---THE SPORTS CLUB
 IZ THE BUILDIN' TO THE RIGHT!

--We foond oot later that that we'd went to the wrang place,  az The Scotswood Club woz forthaa doon the road behind one of the goals, which owerlooked the pitch! (We'd mistakenly thought that The Scotswood Sports Club woz the social club!)



And so we ended up in 'The Denton' on the West Road for a few gargels instead, before catchin the bus back to The Toon!

A canny day indeed!---in total contrast to The Toon's game at Wolves the next day (Match report on that game below!)



WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021

Posted '11:20am bells' Munday 26th October 2020


JACOB MURPHY (BOTTOM CENTRE) SCORES WOR EQUALISER


"FROM ENTERTAINER TO UNTERTAINERS!"

Anothaa visit to Rosies Bar near SJP to watch us and anothaa rear-guard action where we somehow secured a point!

Before the match on 'Sky', former Toon player Kieron Dyer said that NUFC had once been caalled 'The Entertainers'---but Dyer expected anothaa 'dire' performance from us!---How right he woz!

Rosies upstairs woz fairly empty with some tables unoccupied, which told me that Toon fans are sick to death of watchin games on the telly and wor inept and borin'  performances are a 'big switch off ' az well!

Aa meeen!---It took us until the 41st minute for us to have a shot on target----a weak effort from Saint-Max which woz easily saved by Patricio in the Wolves goal!



Wolves had made aall the play in this half, but their finishin woz just az bad!

The truth iz that NUFC never looked like scorin from open play in the entire game!

Disaster struck just 10 minutes from the end, when Jimenez shot from ootside the box to give the boys from 'the Black Country' a desorved lead and they looked certain to claim the 3 points!

HOWEVER! a master stoke by 'Broken Nose Bruce' in the 88th minute woz to bring Andy Carroll on when we had a free kick from the edge of the box!

A 'centre' to 6 foot 3 Andy looked on the cards, but Jacob Murphy had othaa ideas and he hit hiz free kick to the nearside of the Wolves goalie and the baall squeezed inside the post for an equalisin goal!

MURPHY'S GOAL IN A NEAR DESERTED ROSIES!

Aa nearly knocked mee pint of John Smith's ower az aa celebrated the goal, alang with the few othaa 'Tellyhoppers' in the bar!

It woz tooo late for Wolves to reply and we claimed an undesorved point once again! Amazingly we are unbeaten away from home this season, (3 games) but wor home record iz anothaa thing! (2 defeats in 3)----Nee crowd = Nee home advantage now!)

NUFC sit 14th in the table with 8 points!----So this iz a 'work in progress', iz it Steve?-----"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"


Official attendance in Rosies upstairs: 10!

The bleak stats just aboot sums it up from wor point of view!


2 shots on target---and 1 of them woz wor goal!

And in the othaa 5 PL games played!

West Ham: 2 shots on target (2 goals)

Brightin: 0 shots on target (0 goals)

Sporz: 1 shot on target (1 penalty goal)

Bornley: 5 shots on target (3 goals)

Moan U: 4 shots on target (1 own goal)

Wolves: 2 shots on target (1 goal)

Total shots on target in 6 PL games: 14 (8 goals)

Average shots on target in 6 PL games: 2.4 per game!

OR! just ower 1 shot on target per half!


And a comment on Twitter from somebody caalled Barney sez it aall!




Saturday, 24 October 2020

WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ v THE TOON *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '6:00pm bells' Saturday 24th October 2020

LAST SEASON AT MOLINUEX IN THE AWAY SECTION! (1-1)

IN THE DAYS WHEN WE COULD ACTUALLY GAN TO A MATCH!

Tomorrow NUFC heed for the 'black country' where we take on Wolves at Molineux in a '4:30 bells' start, which iz live on Sky! (nee Pay Per View)

Az usual we will be in Rosies Bar upstairs to watch the proceedings on the (fairly) big screen!

It's one of the closest boozers to SJP and we have now got a 'season ticket table' for virtually every Toon game! 

'Broken Nose Bruce' haz said that there will be a late decision on both Karl Darlow and Issac Hayden, while Mark Gillespie iz on standby to play between 'the sticks'  

Just hord---Jonjo Shelvey haz picked up an injury and wont travel

A full Geordie Times 'tellyhoppers' report will appear here sometime on Munday!

Meeenwhile 2 forthaa games have been chosen for Toon TV games in November!

We will now play Sooothampton away on Friday 6th November at '8:00 bells' (Sky) and Chelski at SJP on Saturday 21st November at '12:30 bells' (BT)

That leaves the Cristil Palliss game, which iz expected to be on PPV

on Saturday 28th November or thereaboots! (aall games in Rosies of course!)

Watch this space for forthaa updates!

PS: The Geordie Times haz recorded 100,000 plus pageviews in the last 12 months----the forst time that we have reached this 'milestone' and we thank each and everyone of yoo for loggin in to this advort free website!


PPS: The 'Magical Mystery Groonds Tour' game we went to today woz a NINE goal feast!

See report in due course! (Sometime on Munday after the NUFC match report )


MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR CONTINUED!

 Posted '10:05am bells' Saturday 24th October 2020



Wor plans to travel to deepest Lancashire to watch a game on a new groond on Saturday suffered a double whammy!


We planned to gan to Mossley near Oldham  to watch Dunston's away game, but 2 things happened to put a spanner in the works! 

Forstly,  'Boris' annoonced a 3 tier lockdown to shut the pubs and stop unnecessary travel in the Greater Manchester area! ---and then a Mossley player went doon with the 'bat out of hell' virus and the game woz postponed! 

It meant that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have had to find a new groond to get wor 'fix'----and we foond it reet here on Tyneside!

In othaa words the 'Magical Mystery Grounds Tour' will take us to 'pastures new' today, and aall will be revealed sometime on Sunday, before NUFC take on Wolves at Molineux in a '4:30 bells' start!

Watch this space tomorrow to find oot exactly where we went?---and a full 'Geordie Times' match report on the game will appear here in due course!

Thursday, 22 October 2020

RIP HARRY *** "LOST BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!"

 Posted '10:30am bells' Thorsday 22nd October 2020



Yet again we must report of anothaa passing of a member of 'The Toon Army'

Harry, who used to run a pub in the Bill Quay area of Gatesheed caalled 'The Cricketers' haz sadly passed away!

Harry could be seen on regular trips to European away games in the 1990s and 2000s! (That's when NUFC played in Europe virtually every season!)

One game in particular springs to mind in Estonia when we took on Levadia Tallinn in the UEFA Cup in 2006!

Harry came oot with an aall time 'classic' in one of the bars which sold 'Kiss and A.Le Coq beer!

Match report on that game in memory of Harry, below! (Ground 258)

RIP HARRY from aall of 'The Toon Army'! 


258 a le coq arena, tallinn, estonia

 (GROUND NUMBER 258)

Dateline: 14th SEPTEMBER 2006

A LE COQ ARENA, TALLINN, ESTONIA



LEVADIA TALLINN   0

NEWCASTLE UNITED  1  (Sibierksi)

 

UEFA CUP 1st Round 1st Leg

Attendance: 7,917

 

“A KISS OR SOME COQ!”

 


Another ‘roond the world trip’ was in the offin’ when we drew Estonians, Lavadia Tallinn in the forst roond of the UEFA Cup.

This time it was a flight from Toon airport to Stansted, another flight to Helsinki in Finland and then a ferry across the Baltic sea to Tallinn! (we NEVA de things the easy way!)

We had a bit of a tight schedule to say the least as wor first flight  was due to land with just an hour before wor second flight was due to take off---ANY hold-ups and we would miss it!

 

With the tightened security a ridiculous situation occurred at Toon airport.

Toon fans Harry and Bernie were telt that they could take hand luggage provided they ‘binned’ their toothpaste and deodorant  as this was’nt allowed. They duly did alang with other fans and were telt that they could buy their toiletries ‘duty free side’, after they’d cleared the security checks.

 

However!—as they went to put their bags through the scanner they were telt that they were TOO BIG for hand luggage and would have to be checked in after aall!

And so off they went back to the check in desk, but not before tryin’ to find their discarded items.

Bernie who is a muli-millionaire could be seen scavangin’ through the bins in search of his tube of toothpaste---which he eventually foond! (f*****’ tight b******!)

On arrival at Stansted we had to come oot of the security zone, catch a train to another part of the airport and gan through the whole rigmarole once again!

 

We were (very) lucky and just made it despite the huge queues to get back through security where yi had ti take yi skeets off and hoy them through a scanner!

The ones who had bought their toiletries ‘duty free side’ in Toon airport were telt once again to hoy it away or their luggage would have ti gan in the hold! (total madness!)

 

The third ‘leg’ from Helsinki was more relaxed and the ferry crossin’ took one and a half hours through thick fog (and plenty of ‘grog’!) across the Baltic sea

 

                                 

After yet another ‘night on the hoy’ in yet another European backwater and with the locals not exactly ‘jumpin for joy’ to see us (ie: they were mostly miserable t****!) aa decided to have an ‘orly neet’ as aa was totally ‘cream crackered’ with havin’ to get up at ‘three bells’ in the mornin’ and aa crashed oot at ‘ten (pm) bells’  in The Metropole Hotel, leavin’ the rest of them to drink the night away.  “ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!”

 

Next day was match day of course and after a ‘healthy option’, fifteen or so hot dogs (Stumpy coonted them!) (Er!---they were anly ‘mini’ size!) a moontain of scrambled eggs, a roond of toast and six slices of breed ‘n’ butter brekky, it was off to sample the delights of the main square in Tallinn (the ‘delights’ bein’ the many boozers dotted aboot the square!---NOT! The historic buildings!)

 

The anly downside to this was that we were pestered by various street sellers sellin’ anythin’ from ridiculously coloured thick woolly hats that looked like tea cosies to packets of Viagra tablets!

One of wor company---namely ‘Peter from High Heaton’ was constantly pestered to buy some Viagra tablets. The kid who was sellin’ them would’nt give up despite Peter’s protests and much to wor amusement!

“Are yi tryin’ ti tell iz sommik—like?”, Peter said as the kid thrust the blue tablets  in his face!

He eventually gave up after qwaata of an hour’s tryin’, but the ‘damage had been done’ and Peter now had a new name---‘VIAGRA PETER’!

 

A lass caalled 'Amy' (not hor real name!), who had aalso been on wor previous trips to Europe, was asked by Harry what she fancied to drink in a bar in the city centre. Amongst the ales on sale was a cider which went by the name of ‘Kiss’ and one beer by the name of ‘Le Coq’, which was aalso the name of the stadium that we were playin’ in the next day.

As Harry  pointed 'straight faced' towards the said beer pumps, she was asked the ‘deadly question’, which will gan doon in the annals of Geordie folk law : “Amy!”---,he said, “would yi like a ‘Kiss’, OR!---would yi like some ‘COQ’!” 



(Hor answer a’m afraid is defenateleee unprintable!!!)

 

 

“THERE’S ANLY ONE TOON IN TALLINN!”

 

The forst time a’d ever heard of ‘Tallinn’ was when Scotland were due to play a Euro qualifier against Estonia in the capital city a few years ago and the home side failed to torn up!

A farcical situation arose whereas the jocks took to the field by themselves and kicked off anly for the ref to immediately abandon the game after one second as they had nee team to play! (apparently, they’d got their dates mixed up or sommik???)

The Scotland fans dressed in their obligatory kilts and sporrans, sang, “There’s only one team in Tallinn!”, as they danced on the terraces, much to the amusement of the world and ‘yours truelee’!  

 

 

“THE LONE ‘STAR’ ‘STATE’!”

 


However!---this time it was reported that the other team would! torn up and to ‘celebrate’ we heeded for a ‘familiar’ boozer outside the groond called the ‘Stars’ for wor pre match gargels-----(NOT in the same mould as wor own ‘Star’ on Westgate Road BUT! It did sell beer!----or in this case, cans of it!)

They had a captive audience as it was the anly booza within reasonable ‘hocklin’ distance’ of the ground, as it stood ‘aall on it’s lonesome’.

One Toon fan was in a ‘reet state’ and looked as though he’d had rather tooo much of the local ‘hootch’ as he could hardly stand up and he nearly fell ower a table full of drinks! (obviously NOT a ‘sensible’ drinker like us!?)

 

It was aalso pretty obvious that they would run oot of cans of ‘easy rider’ before lang as more and more Toon fans piled into the bar and before lang ‘panic buyin’ started with fans snappin’ up aall the remainin’ hootch. (Er!—the ‘fans’ bein’ Grumpy Stumpy and me!)


Once we had ‘drank the bar dry’ there was nowt else for it but to heed for the tornstiles at ‘Le Coq’

Their were quite a few Toon fans in the visitors section behind the goal and there were certainly more fans here than in the previous roond ‘just doon the road’ in Latvia.

 

 

The Toon started off well and took the lead after nine minutes when Damian Duff hoisted in a free kick on the reet hand side of the pitch and debut boy Sibeirski (who looks the ‘spit’ of Ketspia) heeded the baall in from the far post.

This a’m afraid was the ‘highlight’ of the game and the rest of the match was pretty borin’ ti say the least!

There was ne more score, but on the bright side it WAS a vital away goal and for the thord European away game in a row we had won without concedin’ a goal, (aalthough!, it has to be said, the opposition in aall wor three games was hardy better than yi would get in the English lower leagues!)

 

 

 

NAMED AND SHAMED!

“VIAGRA PETER AND THE EXPLODING TOASTER!”

 

The mornin’ after the game there was a knock on the room door. It was mee mate Davy and the forst thing he said was, “Aa hope yiz divvint fancy toast for yi brekkies this mornin’ coz Viagra Peter has blew the toaster up!”

Apparentleee----Peter fancied a cheese toastie and as the toaster was one of them revolvin’ ones where yi put the breed in at one side and ‘hey presto’ it comes oot as toast on the other side he decided to put a cheese toppin’ on the breed and sent it through. Unfortunatally the cheese caught fire and the toaster exploded!,----sendin’ plooms of smoke into the restaurant which was packed with tourists and Toon fans!

This in torn short circuited the electricity supply and put the lights oot in the process!


 This did’nt gan doon well with the restaurant manageress who had apparently warned Peter not to do it a few minutes orlier---BUT when hor back was torned he did the ‘dastardlee deed’

He was promptly barred from the restaurant for life!.  But!---as this was wor last day here and the chances of comin’ back were remote to say the least---it did’nt reeely matter! (Who wants ‘heron on toast’ anyway?) (the national dish)

 

Then it was off on the twelve hour return journey back to the Toon by the same way wi’d come---we nearly missed the flight in Stansted again after bein’ delayed two hours in Helsinki (nowt unusual there!) ----but that’s the risk yi take when yi follow The Toon in Europe on ‘bucket’ flights!


*In memory of Harry, who iz sadly nee langer with us!

RIP HARRY---Lost but not forgotten

 

©FINK™  (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

Monday, 19 October 2020

"IT COULD ANLY HAPPEN TO US!"

 Posted '9:59pm bells' Munday 19th October 2020


At 8:02 pm bells' precisely on Saturday, NUFC went 1-0 up against Moan U to propel us up to 2nd place in the table!

Less than 50 hours later we are doon to 13th place in the table!

A drop of 11 places!

It MUST be some kind of unwanted record! 

'8:02pm bells' Saturday


'9:59pm bells' Munday!





THE TOON U23s 2 FULIM U23s 1 *** FA PREMYAA RESORVE LEEGUE DIVISION 2

 Posted '3:33pm bells' Munday 19th October 2020



This afternooon at St. James' Park, wor U23s took on Fulim's equivalent and won 2-1

We had to come from behind az Fulim took the lead in the 23rd minute through Tiehi and the score woz 1-0 to them at the break!

However, and spurred on by a non existent crowd, we equalised in the 79th minute, when  Yannik Toure fired a terrific shot home!

The winner came 3 minutes before full time when Stan Flahurty  hit a screamer from the edge of the penalty area and hiz curlin effort flew into the top corner of the net, to win it for the 'youngins' and collect 3 points in the process!

The Geordie Times wasnt there of course, so we 'nicked' the pix and report from Twitter! 






BAD BLUE BOYS 0 THE CLITHEROE KIDS 1 *** FA TROPHY (Played on Saturday)

 Posted '12:57am bells' Munday 19th October 2020



We were back at Dunston again for Saturday live 'fix' for an FA Trophy game against Clitheroe from Lancashire

Clitheroe were in 2nd place in the Leegue table behind The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston and so a very close game woz anticipated!⬅️(We naa aall the big words!)

And so it proved az there woz little to separate the sides a, both had good chances in the first half, but neetha side could break the deadlock!

HT 0-0


It woz then off to the clubhoose for a half time 'appitizer'--and guess wot!?--we missed the start of the 2nd half as an exited Clitheroe fan rushed into the clubhoose to tell fellow fans who were still drinkin that they had taken the lead!

For that reason alone aa cannot give yoo a description of the goal, which woz scored by Adams in the 47th minute! (They could have waited til we'd finished wor pints before they restarted!--its a disgrace!)

Anyway!--we eventually made wor way back to wor standing place near the 18 yard line and by this time the game had torned a bit ugly, with arguments with the linesman who didnt raise his flag after the ref had given a dubious penalty to Dunston at The Tea Hut End! 

 I will see a goal at last, aa thought, but the 'Clitheroe Kids' goalie had othaa ideas az he guessed correctly to save Connor Bell's penalty in the 70th minute!



More bad tempered feelings followed and in total 8 players were booked and 1 sent off, namely Dunston's Michael Hall in the 90th minute of the game!

I half expected a fight and this happened near the dugoot on the far side from us az several players exchanged pushes and shoves in the melee that followed the sending off! (handbags at 20 paces!)



At the final whistle the players exchanged handshakes and aall the bad temper woz forgotten!

Clitheroe progress to the next stage, while Dunston's dream of a Wembley final in front of no fans, must wait for anothaa season at least!

Attendance:197 (200 allowed)


After the game we heeded back to the clubhoose and then onward to The Tudor Rose where 'The Bat Out Of Hell' virus had flown ower from China!




It woz then off to Rosie's Bar in The Toon via a 10 minute bus ride to watch NUFCs home game v Moan U-- a 4-1 defeat made it a day to forget!

(Match report on that game below!)

Sunday, 18 October 2020

THE TOON 1 MOAN U 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 18th October 2020


The deflected own goal in the 1st minute!---But that's az good az it got!


"IT'S WORK IN PROGRESS!--IT WILL TAKE TIME!"

(Broken Nose Bruce after 4-1 defeat)

Normal sorvice haz been resumed at St. James' Park!  After the 3-1 win ower Bornley at home in wor last game, we flash back to wor previous home game to that, when we lost by 3 clear goals to Brightin (3-0)

It aall started so well!---we had hardly taken wor seats in Rosies Bar when a wicked deflection off Moan Us Luke Shaw in the very forst minute, from  Emile Krafth's shot, gave us a 1-0 lead at The Leazes End! This brought delayed reaction cheers from the NUFC diehards assembled, just a stones throw from SJP! 

And then the reality!----we sat back and let Moan U rain shots onto Karl Darlow in the Toon goal, in the blind hope that he would have a 'blinder'!---And he DID! 



Unfortunatly it wasnt enough and after Harry McGure heeded an equaliser in the 23rd minute, we sat back to try and save a point!

 A disallowed Moan U goal for offside just before this and a saved penalty from Darlow were aall in vain az wor visitors hit THREE goals in the final FIVE minutes of the game to win it 4-1 (and deservedly so!)

After the match wor beleagered manager Broken Nose Bruce said: "We will have bumps in the road, but we will keep on working at it!" (More like LARGE POT HOLES!) and  "It's a work in progress!---It will take time!"

But just HOW MUCH TIME Steve???---You've been in charge for 1 year and 3 months!!!!!!


Official attendance in Rosies: 19 upstairs!


Stats a fact!





Now here's a coincidence!
Bruce, when manager of the SMBs:
"It's  work in progress!"
Bruce, when manager of Hull:
"It's work in progress!"
Bruce, when manager of NUFC:
(3 guesses???)




Saturday, 17 October 2020

THE TOON V MOAN U *** TOONEET AT '8 BELLS'

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 17th October 2020

THE LAST TIME WE WERE IN ROSIES TO WATCH A TOON GAME---
A 3-1 HOME WIN v THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES!
(View from a very wet Rosies 'rose' garden!)

Yet anothaa live telly game at SJP--This time it's against Moan U who are struggling a bit this season! (A 6-1 home defeat last time oot!) Whereaz NUFC won wor last game 3-1 v Bornley a fortneet ago!

Dubravka, Gayle and Ritchie aall aall 'cattle trucked' and will take nee part, while Lascelles, Dummett and Clark have aall retorned to full trainin'!

Controversially, a charge of £14.95 will apply to this game and az a'v said before, there iz NEE WAY that aa would pay this!

Very luckily the bars are still open, despite the rumour that we would gan into 'catagory 3' like Manchester and Liverpoool where the drinkin dens have been forced to close!

This meeenz that we can gan to Rosies Bar near St. James' Park to watch the game, after gettin wor Saturday afternooon 'fix' at the Dunston v Clitheroe FA Trophy tie at '3:00 bells'

After that game we will jump on a bus for the 10 minute ride to The Toon and take up wor places upstairs in Rosies at table 41 (or iz it table 42?) in front of the 'big screen'

A match report on The Toon game will appear here on Sunday, while the Dunston game report will be on Munday


Az per usual, "Watch this space!"


Friday, 16 October 2020

ST. JAMES' PARK 1880-2020 *** 140 YEARS OLD TODAY! *** HAPPY BORTHDAY TOO YOOO!"

Posted '1:35am bells' 16th October 2020 (after truck run to Redditch, Worcestershire!)
This iz the orliest known photo of a stand at St James' Park when Newcastle West End occupied the ground (Oliver Hardy iz on the far left and Stan Laurel iz on the far right!)---HONEST!

Newcastle East End took over the ground when West End folded and a small wooden stand can be seen in the background filled with bowler hatted gentlemen!
This photo woz taken in 1890

The forst ever game of futbaall at St. James' Park took place 140 years ago on 16th October 1880 when a Newcastle Rangers 'Captains X1' took on 'Others' who had 15 players on the field!
Rangers anly had 11 players but won 6-1!
The Daily Journal recorded that: "The new ground is very nicely situated. It is 120 yards by 60 yards broad and is comparatively level!"
Rangers headquarters were recorded as: 'Strawberry House, 78 St James' Park' and Rangers christened the ground St. James' Park az it woz next to St. James' Street which iz still there in the shadow of The East Stand!

*By amazing coincidence aa got married to Val on 16th October 2005 at St James' Park!---on the 125th anniversary of the forst game!

Aa didn't realise this til  aa woz researchin' this article in October 2018!   Aa thought "16th October rings a bell?"--- but aa couldn't remember why??? 

PS: I tell people I got married to Val in a cathedral!  
"The cathedral on the hill!"---az Sir Bobby Robson caalled it!

SJP buildin' work 1890's



SJP 1904 (St James' Street iz on the right)

SJP 1905

SJP 1908


SJP 1930

SJP car park 1930

SJP 1960s

SJP entrance 1960s

SJP 21st century

SJP 21st century "The cathedral on the hill!"







  

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