THE TOON 1. THE BLUE MOONIES 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 *Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ Sunday 29th September 2024

“WE TAKE NO PRISONERS!”

“Divvint mess with me bonny lad, I’m from Blyyyyth!”

Withoot doubt this woz wor best performance of the season so far, az we ‘battled’ (see photos!) and went toe to toe with probably the worlds best team at the moment!

Anthony Gordon led the line in the absence of Isak, who had a toe injury!

It woz to and fro in the forst half az we attacked the Gallowgate End, but the big breakthrough came at the Leazes End when The Blue Moons took the lead 10 minutes before the break!

Grealish passed to Gvardiol who hit a fine shot across the box with The Pope in the Toon goal well beaten!

Joelinton then had a chance to level things but his shot woz blocked by Ederson!

HT 0-1

“Don’t push your luck with me you little cretin! or I’ll get the Mafia to sort you out!”

We came oot fightin in the 2nd half (again! see photos!) and finally got the equaliser in the 58th minute when Bruno sent a perfect through baall to Gordon and he raced into the box and woz hacked doon by Ederson!—The ref pointed straight to the spot!

Gordon took it himself and sent Ederson the wrang way az he shot into the left corner of the Leazes net to send the faithful into raptures! 1-1

                         👇

Joelinton then went doon in the penalty area soon after, but the ref woz havin ‘non of it’ and waved ‘play on’!

Man City then pressed for the winner and 7 minutes of stoppage time woz added, but we held on to claim the point and end their 100% winnin start to the season!—WE could have won it az well, but I Fink a draw woz a fair result in the end!

Attendance: 52,248  (3,200 Blue Moonies high up in the Leazes Gods!)

PS: It shud be mentioned that ‘The Pope’ made some miracle saves!🙏🏻

Wor Flags pre match display!👇

THE TOON V THE BLUE MOONIES *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 *Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Friday 27th September 2024

 

SJP IN THE DISTANCE, FROM KING'S ROAD IN THE HAYMARKET AREA

NUFC look to win the first 3 home games from the start of the season for the first time this century!

BUT wor opponents are formidable with a 100% winnin record so far and of course current Premyaa Leegue champions. It will be very hard to come away with the 3 points come tomorrow afternooon!

Man City will be withoot Rodri and Kevin De Bruyne, which iz a big help, the main threat iz their giant centre forward— ‘one’ Earling Haaland!

Not sure what team Steady Eddie will pick, but personally I would be very happy with just 1 point from this game! 

We hear that Alexander the Great (Isak) haz a toe injury and iz doubtful to start!

The Blue Moonies are the anly team this year to beat us at SJP way back in January! Kick off iz at the ungodly time of ‘12:30 🔔 bells’ for (wot else?) live telly!—TNT this time!

And just for your plonkies The Leazes End boozers behind SJP in Leazes Park Road iz open at ‘NINE am 🛎️ bells’ to quench your thirst! Man City fans welcome!(pics below) 👇

The Leazes End iz on the left beside the florist shop and the groond iz on the right!

In othaa news, wor much publicised Leegue Cup game v The Wombles of Wimbledon iz a complete sellout for Toon fans and we have hord that The Wombles have sold aroond aboot 1,000 tickets oot of their 3,000 allocation!   Some of these will gan on sale to Toon fans and a crowd of ny on 52,000 will be in attendance!

PS: Darren Eales NUFCs CEO haz blood cancer and will step doon from his role when a new CEO iz in place.

We wish him well and hope his treatment iz a success!

TOON AT HOME TO CHELSEEE IF WE BEAT WIMBLEDON IN THE LEEGUE CUP

 Posted 10:28pm 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday .24th September 2024

For the first time in living memory! (whey it seeemz like that!) NUFC have been drawn at home to Chelseee in the 4th roond of the Leegue Cup PROVIDING we can beat ‘The Wombles of Wimbledon’ in the 3rd roond at SJP next Tuesday!

The tie would/will/might? take place at SJP at the end of Octobaa!

"FROM CRAZY GANG TO CRAZY GOLF!"

 *Posted 5:57pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 23rd September 2024

Updated '3:06pm bells' Tuesday 24th

"SPOT THE CRAZY GOLF COURSE!?”⛳️ 

The bad news iz that ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ WON’T have a new groond to gan tee tomorrow neet az wor Leegue Cup game at AFC Wimbledon haz been caalled off, coz part of their pitch haz disappeared in a sink hole after very heavy rain in London and now resembles a crazy golf course! ⛳️ (see top photo!)

This iz DEVASTATIN’ NEWS!📰 az there would have been anly 7 current Leegue groonds that we haddint been tee to watch a Toon game! (Still 8 to dee now!)

However, instead of bein played at a later date the tie haz been switched to SJP next Tuesday neet!—The same neet that The Wombles were supposed to play Crewe at home!

But their pitch iz SO badly damaged that it will be months before they can play a home game there!

Aalso there iz said to be major damage to one of the stands az well!

The good news iz that the tie hazzint been moved to somewhere like Selhurst Park— A groond we have been tee many times before, that we hate to gan tee coz it’s the worst in The Premyaa Leegue! 💩 

Some more good news iz that we can get wor hotel and train money back az well!

Updated Tuezday '3:06bells'

NUFC have very generously donated £15,000 to help repair the sinkhole in Wimbledon’s pitch! 👏👏

Aalso the prices for the rearranged game at SJP are very generous az well! Well done NUFC! 👏👏

DEVESTATIN’ NEWS FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS! WOMBLES OFF!

 Posted '1:15pm bells' 🔔 Munday 23rd Septembaa 2024

“A HOLE IN ONE!”

News aboot wor 3rd roond Leegue Cup game at Wimbledon tomorrow came to me from wor lass, who woke me up from a deep sleep 😴 to tell me the game woz OFF!

I jumped oot of bed and rushed doonstairs to find the reason why?

And sure enough there were aboot 10 whatsapp and phone messages on mee mobile!

Pix of a collapsed pitch in one corner of their groond, which now looks like hole on a golf course with bunkers, had been sent to me!

Judgin by the pix it doesn’t look like a quick fix az the river Wandle behind one of the stands had burst its banks durin very heavy rain and flooded the pitch!

Of course we have booked trains and a hotel for an owerneet stay on Tuezday neet, which we will have to rebook for when or IF the game iz rearranged?

There are 4 possible solutions!

1: NUFC get a bye to the next roond of the Leegue Cup

2: The game iz moved to SJP

3: The game iz played on 4th roond day az there’s another  International break comin up and nee free midweeks

4: Or God forbid!---its moved to a neutral groond where we have been tee before!— Obviously we want it played at the new Plough Lane az we have never seen The Toon play there before!

Things are further compounded by the fact that they have 2 home games comin up in the Leegue in the next week, which look more than likely to be postponed az well! (99% likely!)

We will let yiz naa az soon az we find oot any news!

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE 3. THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 *Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Sunday 22nd Septembaa 2024

"PIE EYED AND LEGLESS!”

Wot can we say aboot this performance against Fulim at Craven Cottage yesterday afternooon?

We were ‘pie eyed’ at the Cottage for certain! (Cottage Pies 🥧 get it?) And finally wor poor form came back to haunt us with wor forst predictable result of the season!

Like as say—-In wor previous 5 games we havvint played well at aall, but have managed  4 wins and a draw somehow!

It woz obvious from the start that Fulim would gan for the jugular—and they did, leadin 2-0 at the break with NUFC havin a Joelinton goal disallowed orly on in the 4th minute for some unknown reason? az we attacked the Hammersmith End opposite to where the Toon fans were housed! 🏠 

Just az the goal woz disallowed by VAR Fulim raced doon the pitch and Jiminez fired home to put them 1-0 up!----So instead of ‘US’ bein 1-0 up, we were 1-0 doon!🥶

Anothaa shot rattled the bar from Smith-Roe but they did double their lead in the 22nd minute through the same player, with a shot across the box to Pope's left and although he got a hand to it he woz unable to stop the baall crossin the goal line! Fulim had numerous chances to increase their lead, but thankfully they didnt and they went in 2-0 up at half time with The Toon aall at sixes and sevens!

However!---within a minute of the restart Harvey Barnes had reduced the deficit from a Murphy through baall az he hit a shot acroos the goal and into the corner of the net!

A very lang VAR check followed for a potential offside, but this time the goal woz finally given after a 5 minute delay!

Schar then had a great chance to equalise after a deffensive errror but hiz shot hit the side nettin' instead, with some Toon fans finkin' it had gone in! (Nee such luck!)

The final nail in wor coffin came deep into stoppage time when Bruno inexplicably passed across hiz own box and it woz intercepted by Nelson and he made nee misstayk to seal the victory for The Cottage Pie Brigade!

Another aaful performance from us, but this time we ended up on the losin' end!----One to forget a'm afraid!

Attendance: 25, 830 with plenty of empty seats in The Riverside Stand, where season tickets cost £3,000 and £150 on match day!--- and nee hospitality perks! —that’s for a seat only! 👇

£150 to watch a game of futbaall!!!--who would ever have believed that 46 years ago when I first visited Craven Cottage and yoo could get in for £1! (We won 3-1 that day in 1978–if mee memory sorves me correctly?🤔)

2,300 unhappy Toon fans in The Putney End! (It shud be noted that we were charged a maximum of £30 under the away price cap rule in The Putney End ‘away section’, while Fulim fans were charged £73 in The Putney End ‘home section’!)

THE ‘LIQUID LUBRICATION LOCATIONS’ WERE AZ FOLLOWS! 👇

                                                                              👆

THE VAULT BAR (DOONSTAIRS FROM PUTNEY PIES) WHERE PIE ‘n’ MASH WILL SET YOO BACK £20!) (BEER £7!)👇

 

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE OF FULIM v THE TOON *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

Posted '6:00pm 🛎️ bells' Friday 20th Septembaa 2024

             AALL 2,300 AWAY TICKETS SOLD OOT!

Tomorrow afternooon NUFC take on Fulim at Craven Cottage in a very rare '3:00pm 🔔 bells' kick off time! (Nee live telly— unless yi have a fire 🔥 stick!)

This meeenz that we can get to King's Cross in London and come back the same day!----A rare event indeed for a London game!

We have won there in 5 consecutive games, (includin' 2 aalready in 2024!) so lets hope we can make it 6 in a row and get the 3 points! News that Alexander the Great (Isak) haz a toe injury followin wor 2-1 success at Wolves last week and iz doubtful?

If we dee get the win, then we will be top of The Premyaa Leegue for a day at least, az the 2 teams above us in the table, Man City and The Arse divvint play each other til Sunday afternooon!

We are on the ‘8:28am 🛎️ bells' train to King's Cross in the mornin', retornin on the '8:00pm 🔔 bells' train back to Tyneside!

A full Geordie Time s match and pub crawl report will appear here sometime on Sunday!

Az per usual "Watch this space intentleeee!"

*

DOUBLE JOY FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

 *Posted ‘7:37pm 🛎️ bells’ Thorzday 19th Septembaa 2024

                           COMPETING TEAMS

News haz reached the Geordie Times that wor U21s are to play in the inaugural National Leegue Cup comprising of 16 Premyaa Leegue U21s Academy teams and team from The National Leegue—the unofficial Division 5

This iz mouthwaterin 🤪 news for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers az 2 of the groonds have never been visited by us before!

They are The Tamworth 🐷 Pigs (Tamworth FC) and The Boston Stranglers (Boston United) although we HAVE played Boston at their old groond which they vacated 4 years ago for a new groond on the outskirts of Boston!

We will aalso play Gatesheed in a first competitive game their since World War 2!

Aalso on the list are Halifax’s Shay Groond where we saw a Toon resorve side play Leeedz resorves many years ago—but we have never seen us play Halifax there! (“Oh the joy!”)

The games sequences are az follows!

Halifax at The Shay on Tuezday or Wedinzday 1/2 Octobaa 👇

Gatesheed at Gatesheed International Stadium on Tuezday or Wedinzday 5/6 Novembaa 👇

Tamworth at The Lamb Groond on Tuezday or Wedinzday 3/4 👇Decembaa

Boston at Jakemans Community Stadium on Tuezday or Wedinzday 21/22 January 2025 👇

Pleeeze note! nufc.com says Tamworth game iz in Decembaa while Tamworth’s website say Novembaa?  They cannit both be right?  Somebody haz made a misstayk—but who?🤔

We will let yiz naa az soon az we find oot!

STEVE HARDWICK RIP 🪦

 * Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Thorzday 19th Septembaa 2024

We are very sad to report the passing of former Toon goalie Steve Hardwick who has died at the age of 68

Steve woz signed from Chesterfield in1976 and played ower 100 times for NUFC. 

He played in King Kev’s debut v QPR in 1982 (Keegan) and woz sold to Oxford in 1983

RIP STEVE! 🪦 

SCARBORO ATHLETIC SEA DOGS 5. DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 2 *** FA CUP 2nd PRELIMINARY ROOND REPLAY

 *Posted ‘5:00pm 🔔 bells’ Wedinzday 18th Septembaa 2024

*Havin drawn the first game 1-1 in Dunston, which the home side shud have won in the dyin minutes, this replay woz a bit one sided with Scarborough on top for most of the game! (They are 2 ‘steps’ higher in the futbaall pyramid system)

We travelled doon on the Dunston team bus (committee at the front— fans in the middle —players at the back) and were told that away fans wernt allowed into their clubhoose for pre match booze and wud be segregated inside the groond despite Dunston welcoming’ Scarboro fans into their clubhoose last Saturday and there woz nee segregation at UTS Stadium!

Not a good take at aall from them! 💩!

Because of this, when we got to the groond, we were forced (at gunpoint 🔫) (honest!)to trek to the nearest boozer 15 minutes away for wor pre match ‘gargels’

After shovelling doon vast quantities of the local ale (John Smiths bitter!) in ‘The Valley’, it woz time to heed back to the groond! (The Flamingoland Stadium)

On arrival we asked where the away end woz and were directed past the main entrance where the committee gan. We wandered in and one of the lads who just happened to be an ex resorves Toon player in the 1980s (Justin Robson) said hiz son woz playin for Dunston (Scott) and woz on the list for free entry to the main stand because of this!

Az he woz talkin to the lass on reception, aa walked past him and wasn’t challenged! I woz in for free az well and didn’t have to pay the £16 entry to the away end! (The bus woz free az well (normally £10) so it torned oot to be a very cheap day oot for me!🤪👍

Dunston charged half the price for admission in the forst game! So two fingers up to them for tryin to rip us off and treat us like 2nd class fans!

(Nee alcohol allowed in the away end eethaa!)

PS: Normally I wud gladly pay, but because of wor unhospitable💩 treatment I said “fcuk them!”

The game didn’t start off well for The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston (playin in aall blue, wud yoo believe?) and were 1-0 doon after anly 3 minutes when scored for Scarboro with a shot past Dan Lawson in the Bad Blue Boys goal!

Dunston held oot til the 32nd minute when Tear scored from a through baall to bring tears 😭 to wor eyes!(sic!)

6 minutes later it woz 3-0 when Wiles latched onto a through baall to fire 🔥 home!  HT 3-0 to The Seadogs!

It woz soon 4-0 orly in the 2nd half when Wilson interspersed a back pass!— The Wembley dream woz ower for The Bad Blue Boys!🥶

A glimmer of hope in the 75th minute when Richie Coulson hit a rebound in after a Robinson effort!

4-1

The ‘glimmer’ woz soon shattered when Ross shot past Lowson, but Sado Djalo made the score look a little more respectible when latched onto a 💩 clearance to reduce the arrears deep into stoppage time!

FT Seadogs 5 Bad Blue Boys 2

Attendance: 770 including aboot 35 from Dunston!  👇20 in the away end (Including me it woz actually 771!)

—The Dunston Blue Army in the away seats 👇 (A huge contingent az yoo can see!)👇

and some committee and players relations in the main stand!👇

NIL-oot of TEN for hospitality!💩

And the first time ever in the 71 away groonds visited by 'little old me' followin Dunston, that we have been segregated and denied access to a clubhoose!

PS: The othaa Bad Blue Boys from Zagreb (where we went to watch NUFC and twinned them with Dunston) lost 9-2 to Bayern Munich in The Champions Leegue az well on the same neet!🥶

NOT!  a good day oot for eethaa fan bases!—woz it!?

“IT’S ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOO TO DRINK!”

A DUNSTON FAN AFTER THE 5th GOAL WENT IN!🥶

WOLVES WANABEEZ 1. THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 *Posted ‘3:52pm bells’ Munday 16th Septembaa 2024

“A BARNESTORMIN’ FINISH!”

Wolverhampton haz 50 pubs within walking distance of their Molineux Stadium—2nd only to The Toon which haz close on 200! But not one of Wolves pubs allows away fans in, in total contrast to NUFC where 99.9% let away fans in!

This meant that Toon fans were forced to gan elsewhere for wor pre match booze!

We chose Stafford like a canny few othaa Toon fans did, which iz a 15 minute train ride from Wolves!

A ridiculous situation that makes yoo wish that they would get relegated!

Anyway! we arrived in good time for the kick off where the usual 💩 flame throwers were positioned aroond the pitch and lit when the Wolves players name were read oot ower the tannoy! Hopefully NUFC will never stoop to this Americanisation of futbaall!? (but divvint haad yi breath!)

We played in wor maroon and dark blue kit and started off very sluggishly and just couldn’t get oot of first gear az Wolves pressed forward!

Eventually their persistence prevailed when an error from Longstaff in the 36th minute, let in Larson and his crosss across the box woz ‘dummied’ by Gomez for Lemina to poke home unmarked! 1-0 to them!

Things needed to change and 3 subs were brought on at the start of the 2nd half: Tonali replaced Longstaff, Willock replaced Joelinton and Barnes replaced Isak who woz injured in the first half!

This did the trick az WE pressed forward but we still couldn’t find the breakthrough!

The ‘key’ to change aall this came in the 64th minute when Kieran Trippier replaced Livramento and straight away his influence bore fruit!🍇 👈(No! not that kind of fruit!)

Within 11 minutes of him organisin things we were level when a Rakin shot from ‘Fab’ Schar from ootside the box took a deflection off Dawson and sailed into the roof of the net to send the 3,000 travellin faithful into wild celebrations—so wild that this fat kid in the row in front of me fell backwards ower his seat and nearly broke mee leg! 🦵 

While those celebrations were gannin on and just 5 minutes later, up stepped one of the half time ‘super subs’ Harvey Barnes to send a right footed screamer into the top right hand corner of the goal!

I woz ready this time! and az the fat fcuker again fell backwards I had mee arms outstretched to push him into some poor unfortunate soul in the row in front of him!”😫”Aarrrr!”

Despite 9 minutes of stoppage time added, we held on to take the valuable 3 points to climb to the dizzy 😵‍💫 heights of 3rd place in the Premyaa Leegue table with 10 points from 12!

We’ve played 5 games including 1 in the Leegue Cup—We’ve been below par in aall of them—but still undefeated!

That’s the sign of greatness we have been told—But will wor luck 🍀 desert us eventually? OR! Will we come good and prove the doubters wrang?🤔

Attendance:30,255 (3,000 faithful who drank elsewhere pre match!🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺)

Like here in Stafford!👇

THE PICTURE HOUSE (An old cinema converted into a WETHERSPOONS)

And post match back to The Yard and beyond! 👇

PS: Stafford iz aboot 15 miles from Wolverhampton— mebeez we should ban Wolves fans from aall wor bars and send them to mackemland instead, when we play them up at wor place! (Tit for tat anybody?)🤔