Sunday, 31 May 2026

🎢SING YOUR HEARTS πŸ’• OOT FOR THE LADS!🎡

 Posted ‘high noon πŸ•› bells πŸ””Sunday 31st May 2026 



“IT’S THERE IN BLACK N WHITE!”!” (Black section at the back of The Leazes End, the away enclosure—White section the retorn of the NUFC signin corner!)

News reaches us through ‘The Geordie Times’ ‘fly by night’ faithful reporter, ‘Secret Pigeon’ (3 days late!) that there iz to be the retorn of a 1,741 singin’ section, reet next to the away fans, in Level 7 of The Leazes/Milburn Stand corner next season, after an absence of 15 years, when The Fat Controller (Ashley) woz wor owner!

“THE LEAZES END SINGIN’ SECTION IZ TO RETORN NEXT SEASON — COO! COO!”


It woz disbanded because he woz upset that they kept caallin him “A fat Cockney bastard!”  (He woz born in the west Midlands, by the way!)

There’s nee two ways aboot it!— To have a Toon safe standin’ singin section reet next to the away fans, will definitely improve the atmosphere on match days, which haz been ‘flat’ recently!

Aall we need now iz some half decent players on the pitch, which will help enormously of course!

Saturday, 30 May 2026

GORDON GANS TO THE CATA-LANS!

 Posted ‘high noon bells’ πŸ”” Saturday 30th May 2026



Anthony Gordon haz signed for Barcelona for nearly £70 million!—He haz signed a 5 year deal, az hiz new shirt indicates!

We at The Geordie Times Fink that this iz a very good deal indeed!

Meanwhile Kieran Trippier iz off to Wolves on a free transfor!— This iz a very astute signin for them!

Hopefully the money we have got for Gordon will be spent wisely this time, unlike last pre season’s disastrous signings!

We live in hope! πŸ™πŸ» 

Thursday, 28 May 2026

MURRAY-MINT! NEW GROOND!—NEW GROOND!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 14th May 2026  Updated Thorzday 28th May

πŸ”₯ “LIFES A GAS!” πŸ”₯ 



NUFC WILL be playin at Murrayfield in Scotland v Everton on Wedinzday 12th August az we predicted below! (5:15 πŸ””s)

A new groond for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers! πŸ€ͺπŸ‘πŸ 🏟️ 🏴󠁧󠁒󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 ⬇️

Unfortunately the ticket prices are ridiculous and nee concessions for zimmerframeites (oldies!) ⬇️






Posted 2 weeks ago ⬇️

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' may have a new groond to add to the never endin list, az Murrayfield Rugby Groond in Edinburgh haz been mooted for a pre season friendly between The Toon and The Toffee Noses of Everton, sometime in August!

Thiz ISNT 'cast in stone' at the minute, but we can anly hope that its true and that we get to play in this iconic Scottish 67,000 plus seater stadium!--- This would be 'MINT'!

A friendly in Spain haz been mentioned az well, v Valencia perhaps? az wor pre season trainin camp iz just alang the coast from there!

A home friendly v AS Roma iz aalso said to be in the pipeline, before next season starts in late August, due to the World Cup in the Americas!

The Geordie Times will of course post the news az it happens---or 2 days late in wor case!

Tuesday, 26 May 2026

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE 2 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted from ‘high noon πŸ•› bells’ πŸ”” onwards, Tuezday 26th May 2026   (PS: This should have went online at 'high noon', but I forgot to press the 'post' button!) πŸ™ˆ



“THE NUMBERS GAME!”



Az there were nee trains between Darlo and York, replaced by the dreaded road transport busses, we decided to drive to York and then catch the train to King’s Cross in London for wor last game of football season at Craven Cottage!

Az parkin next to York station iz difficult, we booked with ‘Just Park’ where you book a space on somebody’s drive for £9 a day!— And so, that’s what we did!

It woz a driveway a 10 minute walk from the station at 36 St Pauls Mews according to Google maps!

We got there at 8:30am bells πŸ”” and there woz a car on the drive we had booked?  Aa brayed in the front door of the hoose for a good 5 minutes, but there woz nee answer?   Jimmy, who had booked the space woz aalready in London, havin travelled doon the day before! 

We rang him and he told us it woz hoose number 7, NOT number 36, which woz on the Google map he had sent me, but  the map showed a random number for the postcode, NOT the actual number 7! (Didnt naa that of course!)

We drove to number 7 and thankfully, the drive woz empty and we dumped mee canny tranny and heeded for the station to catch the 9:30 πŸ•€πŸ””s' train!

(Can you imagine the scenario if the drive of number 36 HAD been empty and I’d parked mee tranny there!— The bloke comes home in hiz car and sees a blue transit van on hiz driveway!— He wouldn’t be too happy, would he!?— The mind boggles!)

Anyway!—-enough of that!

We caught the train to London and then onwards on the tube to Pudsey (Sorry, Putney,) (cheers to Jimmy for spotting mee dillibrit misstaykπŸ–•) which iz on the opposite side of the river Thames to Fulim’s groond, for some liquid lubrications!  It woz boiling hot, with the temperature aboot 30 degrees!

After visiting 3 boozers it woz time to heed for the match and that’s when the really bad news started!

The Toon players didn’t look interested and of course some of them were heedin for The World Cup in America a few days later AND SO they wouldn’t want to get injured in a game with nothin ridin on it az we couldn’t get a European place OR be relegated of course!



We simply couldn’t get ‘oot of the blocks, with misplaced passes and lost possession!

It woz awful to watch and sure enough Fulim took the lead in the 20th minute when Kevin hit a free kick off from just ootside box, which hit the crossbar. THe baall rebounded to |Diop, who had the simple task of heedin the baall into an empty net! 1-0 to them!

It woz SO hot that 2 waterbreaks were taken in the first half, az the ‘current bun’ ☀️ shone brightly in the clear blue sky!

We simply couldnt get shots on target az we sauntered through the half!

HT 1-0 to them!

We attacked the end where the 2,700 or so Toon fans were housed, in the 2nd period, but it made not one iota of difference, where shots on goal were a novelty az far az we were conserned!

LAZIN ON A SUNNY AFTERNOOON--WELL THE TOON PLAYERS CERTAINLY DID!
VIEW FROM ROW HH, SEAT 97, WHICH HAD NEE NUMBER ON THE SEAT! ⬇️



Sure enough in the 80th minute The Cottage Pie Mob doubled their lead when Cairney hit a piledriver shot from distance, which had The Pope in the NUFC goal well beaten and unable to get anywhere near it!

2-0 to them!

The temperature had risen and mee mobile ‘telling bone’ πŸ“± said it woz now 33 degrees!—An unprecedented 3 waterbreaks were taken in this half, because of this!

There woz nee way back after their 2nd goal and after 5 minutes of stoppage time the ref blew to end wor 58 games season and to end wor agony! 

Wor away scoring record this season in the Premyaa Leegue iz abysmal— scorin just 17 goals in 19 games— that’s less than a goal a game on average!

We finished 12th in the table! Thank God this crap season iz ower!

Just how Eddie Howe can survive this, iz anybodys guess!---There's one thing for certain, the PIF will not be happy with a place in the bottom half of the Premyaa Leegue table!

Something haz got to change, or else we will be in a relegation battle next season, playin' like that!

News that the team doon the road had qualified for Europe, just made the situation even more unbearable!---Who would be a Toon fan!?

Roll on next season— but not until we’ve had a good rest to recover!



Attendance: 27,442 (2,701 very despondant Toon fans!)

THE CRAVEN COTTAGE
IF YOU'RE WONDERIN' WHY WE CAALL THEM 'THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE', 
WELL HERE'S THE ANSWER!

Pub crawl pix 4 new ones visited

Bringing the total for season 2025-2026 to record breaking 167 different drinkin dens!

This total will probably never be beaten!




IT SHUD BE NOTED THAT IN THE LAST DRINKIN DEN ⮝ AH JUST HAD A PINT OF WAATAA AND ICE, AZ AH HAD TO DRIVE YEM FROM YORK lATER ON---IN THE PREVIOUS 166 WAATERIN HOLES, AH DRANK PINTS OF BEER OR CIDER!

Monday, 25 May 2026

FULIM MATCH REPORT DELAY!

 Posted 12:17pm πŸ›Ž️ bells’ Munday 25th May 2026

“SPOT THE COTTAGE!?”

A match report on wor disastrous end of season game v The Cottage Pie Mob will not appear here til tomorrow at ‘high noon bells πŸ””’

Sorry for the delay, but this IZ The Geordie Times after aall!

Saturday, 23 May 2026

THE COTTAGE PIE πŸ₯§ BRIGADE V THE TOON *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘high noon bells πŸ””’ Saturday 23rd May 2026

THE NUFC MAD- SAD GROUNDHOPPERS 1st VISIT TO CRAVEN COTTAGE WOZ 48 YEARS AGO IN 1978   
A 3-1 WIN IN FRONT OF JUST 8,575, WHICH INCLUDED ABOOT 2,000 TOON FANS! (WOR GOALS WERE SCORED BY ALAN SHOULDER, JOHN CONNOLLY AND PETER WITHE!)

Wor last game of a very exhausting 58 game season in the UK, France, Belgium, Jawmany, Spain and Azerbaijan, comes to a close at Craven Cottage (Hence The Cottage Pie Brigade!) when we take on Fulim! (And The Geordie Times haz been to each and every one of them, with match and boozer reports!)

NUFC have an allocation of 2,701 tickets in The Putney End (see map and groond photo below)⬇️


THE GEORDIE TIMES ENTOURAGE WILL BE IN BLOCK P5, ROW HH

Just wot the line up will be iz anybodys guess?  But Lewis Miley, Joelinton, Emil Krafth, Fab Schar and Tino Livramento are definitely oot!

The highest The Toon can finish iz 9th top, which, despite wot fans are sayin, iz NOT good enough to qualify for a European place!—Not even The UEFA Conference Leegue, where teams like Lincoln Red Imps of Gibralter and New Saints of The Welsh Leegue qualified for the knockoot stage this season!  Considering that the team from Gibralter average 100 for home games and New Saints arnt much better with 300 to 400 average gates!

This iz less than wot non leegue teams from Tyneside, like Blue Star, Heaton Stan or Dunston, normally get, for comparison!

Nee wonder Palace have made the final of thisMickey Mouse competition!— For with crowds? like that, it reely iz ‘Mickey Mouse’!

There are nee πŸš‚ train between Darlo and York on Sunday, with the dreaded replacement busses between those points!

SO! We are drivin to York to avoid the chaos and then get the train from York to King’s Cross and back!-  Not wot we wanted for the last game of the season!πŸ₯Ά

Thursday, 21 May 2026

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS POSSIBLE NEW GROOND *** MESTALLA, VALENCIA

 Posted ‘high noon πŸ•› πŸ›Ž️ bells’Thorzday 21st August 2026



The Geordie Times haz it on good authority that a pre season game in Spain against Valencia at their iconic Mestalla Stadium haz been arranged for Tuezday August 11th!

This makes sense az NUFCs pre season trainin camp iz just doon the coast road in La Manga! (We have inside information!🀫)⬇️

“THE TOON HAVE ARRANGED A PRE SEASON FRIENDLY MATCH IN VALENCIA!” COO! COO!”

REMEMBER! You read this news in The Geordie Times forst!

If we’re wrang, then blame the gadgie at the training groond for spreading false news! (Az Donald Trump would say!)

Updated 4:03pm πŸ””s’

PS: We have since hord that the friendly v Everton at Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh could take place a day later on Wedinzday 12th August!

So one of those dates must be wrang, az we surely wouldn’t play 2 friendlies in 2 days in different countries!—

Read into this az you will????πŸ€”

Tuesday, 19 May 2026

TOON BUY LEAZES TERRACE!

 Posted ‘3;16pm bells πŸ”” Tuezday 19th May 2026



Exciting news reaches The Geordie Times that NUFC have bought a significant part of Leazes Terrace and aall of the listed building that faces the East Stand!

Surely we wouldn’t buy it unless we had plans to eethaa relocate it brick by brick to somewhere like the tennis courts at the back of Leazes Terrace OR move the students oot to accommodation being built on Leazes Park Road, where the old Barker and Stonehouse business woz situated, or forthaa doon the same road to the old Labour Club, which in turn iz to be turned into student accommodation az well!

Leazes Terrace could then be converted into club offices etc and there would be no ‘light issues’ of a much higher East Stand— which in turn could have its facade built in the same style of bricks az Leazes Terrace,to fit in!

More importantly the ‘right to light’ won’t hinder the height of the stand now, az there will be nee objections az NUFC now own it!

The Gallowgate End could be built az a mirror image of The Leazes End, bringing the capacity to 70,000!

Problem solved of movin to Leazes Park!

Monday, 18 May 2026

THE TOON 3. THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted just after ‘high noon bells πŸ””’ onwards, Munday 18th May 2026


“(LAST) DAY TRIPPIER!” (sic!)

Will Osula woz the hero of the day with 2 goals to sink The Jellied Eels Mob yesterday teatime! (Jellied Eels used to be a favourite delicacy in Landon’s east end!  Not any more, now it’s halal meat and curry!)

Kieran Trippier woz makin hiz last ever appearance for NUFC and got a huge ovation az ran oot before the game!

The East Stand had hiz nickname in huge white letters! (See top photo)

Aalso leaving us today woz Emil Krafth, who wozzint in the squad for the game!

West Ham were backed by 3,000 fans in the Leazes gods and they were in good voice az the game kicked off!—Nothing less than a win would be good enough, az they sat in the last relegation place, 2 points behind Sporz, with 2 games to gan!



The Toon kicked towards the Leazes goal in the first half and within 15 minutes we had taken the lead, when Harvey Barnes sent a cross in and Nick Woltemade woz on hand to side foot the baall into the net ,with Hermansen, in the visitors goal rooted to the goal line! 1-0 to us!

We soon doubled wor advantage, when Will Osula woz put straight through by Jacob Murphy in the 19th minute and he fired the baall underneath their goalie to put us 2-0 up!


This woz enough for some of The Jellied Eels Mob az they heeded for the nearest exits!—Thats reet!— with just 19 minutes on the clock!

West Ham had a couple of chances at the other end, but The Pope in the Toon goal, pulled off a few saves to deny them!

HT 2-0

In desperate need for a goal, wor visitors tried in vain to find the back of the net!

But it woz NUFC who scored again in the minute, when Joe Willock ran doon the right wing into the box and crossed to an unmarked Osula, who slammed the baall into the goal at The Gallowgate End!

 3-0 to us!




There looked nee way back at this point for the east Londoners, but the best goal of the game came from them when Castellanos hit a spectacular volley from 40 yards oot, with The Pope unable to stop the shot, which wizzed past him and into the goal in the 70th minute!

Some more of their fans had left their seats after wor thord goal—but came back in az the hord the roar for their goal!

 3-1 to us!

Az usual, we went into ‘panic mode’ az they pressed for a 2nd goal and had 2 penalty claims torned doon, and they aalso grazed the cross bar!—Suely not another collapse???

Luckily it wozzint and the ref blew with 7 minutes stoppage time added!

The West Ham fans then boood their player az they came ower to thank them for their support, but a rendition of “Your not fit to wear the shirt!” reverberated for the few who had stayed til the bitter end! ⬇️



They will be relegated if Sporz pick up just one point in their remain 2 games!

A lap of appreciation then followed for The Toon players, wives, gorlfriends and their sprogs! πŸ‘Ά 

AmazinglyIF results gan wor way next week, we could still qualify for Europe!—-Highly unlikely, but you never naa!?



Attendance: 52,206 (3,000 dejected Jellied Eels!)

*Footnote: Striker? Yoane Wissa came on in the 85th minute to replace Osula —and az far as I can remember he hardly touched the baall!

He cost £55 million from Brentfaad and haz scored az many Premyaa Leegue goals at SJP az the 50.000 Toon fans who torned up every home game!  He DID however score away at Bornley!— That’s reet! just ONE solitary Prem goal for £55 million quid!



Saturday, 16 May 2026

THE TOON V THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM *** TOMORROW TEATIME!

 Posted ‘high noon πŸ•› πŸ›Ž️ bells’ Saturday 16th May 2026

“LAST CHANCE SALOON FOR WISSA!”


SJP IN 1967 *** A programme from the first time the Geordie Times saw NUFC play West Ham ****A 1-0 win (og) in front of 38,863 (6d = 2 & a half pence!)

The last home game of a thuraleee exhaustion season comes on Sunday at the ridiculous time of ‘5:30 bells πŸ””’

Assuming he gets some game time, this iz the last chance that £55 million summer signin Yoane Wissa haz of scorin a Premyaa Leegue goal at SJP!— That’s reet! he haz scored az many home goals az me this season in a top flight game!

Indeed, he haz anly scored ONE Premyaa Leegue goal so far!—at Relegated Bornleee!

£55 MILLION for one away goal!????

Joelinton iz a doubt with a thigh injury and Fab Schar will take nee part in wor last 2 games of the season! (He could well be on the move!)

A win for us would aalmost condemn the east Londoners to Championship futbaall next season, so they will be fightin for their lives come kick off time!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Munday!

Wednesday, 13 May 2026

SOME OF WOR ‘FANS’? ARNT REAL!

 Posted ‘high noon πŸ•› bells’ πŸ”” Wedinzday 13th May 2026 


“WINNERS AND LOSERS!”

NUFC play The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham on Sunday and unbelievably some of wor so caalled ‘fans’? want us to lose in the hope that Sporz are relegated instead!

This iz crazy!—you shud NEVER want The Toon to lose, nee matter who you dislike, in hope of their downfall!—and this includes a certain team 12 miles doon the road!

In wor opinion those who post such nonsense on social media are ‘losers’ who shud be ashamed of themselves and are definitely NOT! true Tooon fans! 

You shud always want us to be winners, full stop!⚫️

Aye! —we at The Geordie Times would rather Sporz were relegated instead, mainly cos they were one of the ‘Cartel 6’ who tried to stop the PIF buyin’ us!—- BUT not to see us lose, to try and help that happen!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper)


Monday, 11 May 2026

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB OF NOTTINGHAM 1. THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted just after ‘high noon πŸ•› bells πŸ””’ onwards, Munday 11th May 2026



“SOUL DESTROYIN’ STUFF!”

NUFC now have a Premyaa Leegue record, but not one to be proud of!

We have now dropped 27 points from winnin positions after conceding  late equaliser to Forest 🌳 yesterday afternooon!

This iz in complete contrast to last season when we conceded just 7 points from winnin positions, which iz aalso a record at the other end of the scale!



The forst half of the game woz dreadful stuff, az wor near inability to have a shot on goal at The opposite Trent End, to where the Toon faithful were situated, woz to cost us dearly by full time! (Although Osula did have a couple of 'powder puff' efforts, which were easily saved by former Toon keeper Matt Sels!)

We were well on top in that period and completly dominated the game, but withoot a proven striker on the pitch, it seemed a lost cause!

It woz that bad that when the half time whistle blew, aa woz wishin it woz full time!!!

The 2nd period wozzint much better until Harvey Barnes and Jacob Ramsey made an appearance on the hour mark, replacin Jacob Murphy and Waltemade!



Bruno did have have a couple of shots and Osula hit the bar from a free kick, just ootside the box

Wissa woz sent on 10 minutes later to replace Osula, but there woz nee rection from the Toon fans on hiz appearence! (ie: He's definitely not player he once woz!)

However!--just 3 minutes later ‘super sub’ Harvey Barnes opened the scorin when he latched onto a Jacob Murphy through baall and he fired home into the roof of the net to send the travellin faithful into raptures! ⬇️



But az per usual, on these occasions, we let Forest off the hook and on the attack!

They missed several good chances az the clock ticked doon, and inevertably, with just 2 minutes of the 90 left on the clock, Elliot Anderson, who NUFC should never have sold, hit a sweet shot into the far corner of the net with The Pope in the Toon goal well beaten!

Yet again we conceded a late goal from a winnin position, to the utter dismay of 'us' at the far end! (It HAD to be Anderson, to spoil the party, didn't it just!)

7 minutes of stoppage time were added, az the home side went for the winner and we were thankful that the ref blew for full time with nearly 98 minutes on the clock!

The result left us in 13th place on 46 points,with little chance now of claimin a place in one of the European competitions next season!


Attendance: 30,691(3,048 p*ssed off Toon fans!)

The one very smaall crumb of comfort (if yoo can caall it that?) woz that we were now definatly safe from relegation to the abyss, with 2 more games to gan! (At home to West Ham next Sunday and away to Fulhim the followin Sunday!)

A season with far more 'downs' than 'ups' for certain ---and it cannit end soon enough!

The Match⬆️of the Day graphic sez it aall!

Mini pub crawl pix! Just 2 this time, bringing the running total of different away boozers visited this season to 163! ⬇️

🠟🠟🠟🠟


WE WOZ THERE! THE PROOOF!⬇️



Saturday, 9 May 2026

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘high noon bells πŸ””’ Saturday 9th May 2026

THE CITY GROUND IN 1970. 
(THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS 1st VISIT HERE 56 YEARS AGO!)

“FOREST 🌳 FIRE!”πŸ”₯ 

We heed for wor penultimate away game of the season to deepest Nottinghamshire, when we take on The Friar Tuck Mob! (Friar Tuck--Robin Hood--get it?)

A draw will banish completely any chance of relegation, az 3rd bottom West Ham, will who occupy the last relegation place will be unable to match wor points tally! (And THEIR next game iz against Champions elect 'The Arse' on Sunday, after wor game)

The team news izzint great az Lewis Miley broke hiz tibia in trainin orlier this week and will be oot for wor final 3 games!  Aalso missin will be Fab Schar, Tino Livramento and Emil Krafth!

Sven Botman and Lewis Hall are both due to make their 100th appearence in aall competitions!

Wor record at The City Groond iz excellent, havin won wor previous 4 Premyaa Leegue meetings there--- and we remain unbeaten since 1987 at 'their place'! That's 39 years, which hopefully will be a good omen!

On top of that, Forest had a disastrous 4-0 defeat at Villa in the semi final 2nd leg of the Europa Leegue on Thorzday neet, to get knocked oot of the competition--- and they surely will be massively diflated, (az will their fans!) when the game kicks of at '2 bells' tomorrow afternooon!

The Toon will have a followin of 3,048 in The Bridgford Stand lower tier, and 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are situated in Block W2, row X (Indicated by the pin on the stadium map below, in the grey away section!) ⬇️

A full Geordie Times match and boozer report will appear here sometime on Munday---Az per usual: "Watch this space!"  


Thursday, 7 May 2026

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS ARCHIVE MATCH REPORT *** FOREST V NUFC 56 YEARS AGO!

 Posted ‘high noon bells πŸ””’ Thorzday 7th May 2026

THE PICTURE SHOWS ALAN FOGGON (LEFT) AND TOMMY GIBB HOLDIN THE FAIRS CUP, WHICH NUFC HAD WON THE PREVIOUS SEASON! 
THE PROGRAMME PRICE WAS ONE SHILLING (1/-) FIVE PENCE IN TODAYS MONEY!

In March 1970 NUFC played Forest away in an old 1st Division match and ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ were there in force for wor forst ever visit —-and (of course!) we are heedin back to The City Groond many πŸŒ™ moons later, for wor game on Sunday afternooon!

A Geordie Times match report on that game 56 years ago, iz featured below! A 2-2 draw!— Ground number 013

013 city ground nottingham forest


(GROUND NUMBER 13)

Date of First Visit: 28th MARCH 1970



CITY GROUND, NOTTINGHAM



NOTTINGHAM FOREST 2 

NEWCASTLE UNITED 2  (Dyson, ‘Pop’ Robson)



(OLD) DIVISION ONE

ATTENDANCE 21,360 





"THIS IS 'NOTT!' THE REET GROOND!"

 
FOREST'S GROOND (BOTTOM)  
WITH NOTTS COONTY'S (TOP) IN THIS ARCHIVE PHOTO FROM 1970

Wi'd left the Toon from the ‘Spit and Vomit’ opposite the ‘Central’  at 'seven a.m. bells' and the bus waz well 'stocked' with broon ale, ex, lager and cider, most of which waz piled behind the seats at the back and waz in full view of the window! (in them days there waz nee 'law' tih say that drink was'nt allowed on busses, so there waz nee need tih hide it!) and some three and a half hours later, az we were approachin' the centre of Nottingham, a gang of Forest skinheeds 'clocked' wih and started chasin' the bus doon the road az it slowly made it's way roond the one way system!.



Like the 'Pied Piper of Hamlin', more and more skinheeds 'joined in' and before lang aboot a hundred or so were racin' afta the bus, hopin' we would get 'stuck in' a traffic jam so they could get 'STUCK IN'! tih US!



One kidda in particular, who looked like their leader,was built like 'a brick s***hoose'!

Hiz ‘Dr Martins’ were aboot size twelve! and he was runnin' frantically behind  the bus wavin' his 'shovel size' fists menacingly!

He had black sunken eyes and aboot twenty different club scarfs tied roond his belt and wrists! (az waz the ‘custom’ in them days!)



The scarfs were his 'souviners' that he'd more than likely 'half inched' from unsuspectin' terrified away fans az they were ambushed gannin tih the groond!

(Rather like a red indian tekin' some pale faces’ss scalps!)



Ominously!---ah could’nt see if he had a ‘souviner’ Toon scarf roond hiz neck----BUT!---------AH DID!

Ah guessed that he had'nt come tih greet us with a friendly hand-shake! (more like a ‘deathly’ 'neck-shake'!) and he very nearly caught up with us---BUT!---in the nick of time, the traffic eased off and the bus excellerated away!-----PHEW!----CLOSE CAALL! 

He pointed hiz finger and shook hiz fist, gesturin’ that he would ‘get us later’! , which in torn brought a large “G-U-L-P-!” tih mee ‘John o Groat’!



He would'nt iv gettin' MY scarf anyway, coz, bein' a 'ten stone hard-case' ah would'iv 'filled the B******! in' if he HAD tried! (ER!---CAN pigs fly!?)

(Pleeze note: ah waz anly fifteen back then---ah nuw weigh in at a 'magnificent'? seventeen stone!)



Anyway!---wi'd lost them for good and wor driver dropped wih off aboot a hundred yards from the groond. Wih heeded towards the floodlights and when we arrived we were greeted by a sign on the main stand:

'N O T T S   C O U N T Y   F. C. -  F o u n d e d  1 8 6 2' the sign proclaimed!



"NOTTS COONTY!"----(aye!---yiv guessed it!) we were at Meadow Lane (aka:) the WRANG groond!

(It's a fatal mistake tih heed for ithe nearest floodlight pylons in Nottingham!)

Az the two groonds are anly a couple of hundred yards apart, seperated anly by the river Trent, yih did'nt have tih be 'Eienstein' tih work oot that the other set of floodlights across the waata, were in fact---'Forests'!


So!---wih ‘gingerly’ headed across the Trent tih the reet venue (and intih ‘Forests’ territory!)

This waz dangerous territory indeed az in the past it was’nt unbeknown for away fans tih be unceremoniously thrown off the Trent Bridge intih the river below!

(On one occasion a ‘Dibble’ had tih dive in and save a drownin’ fan who had been hoyed ower the top!) (minus hiz scarf!---nee doubt!?)



So it waz with ‘trepedation’  that we crossed the ‘said’ river, but there waz nee sign of any ‘radgies’ waitin’ for wih, which waz just az well, az it waz the OTHER! ‘wet stuff’ that WE! were lookin’ for!.  And az luck would have it, we managed tih 'con'  wor way into the 'Robin Hood Bar' which was next tih the groond ('con' is the reet word as AH was still three years under age!) (followin' the Toon, ages yih VERY! quickly!)  





After aboot fower pints of 'Strongbow' (very appropriate in a bar named after 'Nottingham's finest'!) wih headed (or should that be 'staggered'?) tih the local 'chippy' opposite the Trent Bridge cricket groond for some 'Friar Tuck' (WHAT ELSE!?)


After wi'd finished wor 'nose bags', wih heeded for the paddock of the main stand, where the Toon fans were congregated.





The Forest 'skins' in the 'Trent End',  who'd chased us orlier, decided they wanted a 'pagger', so they came roond tih the paddock fence and started hoyin' 'clemmies' at wih!.

Amongst them was 'Twenty Scarfs', who ah guess would rather be knaan az 'Twenty ONE! Scarfs' and he was in the thick of it, tryin' tih add tih his 'collection'!



Things were startin' tih 'liven up' by nuw!, and there were a few punches thrown and 'Doc Martin' boots swung!, az the two sets of fans 'squared up' tih each other at an open gate in the middle of the segregation fence!, before the 'Dibble' moved in, trunchions drawn, an' chased them back into their 'end'!. 




From warra can remember of the match??, (divvint forget, ah was still 'under the influence'!) it was 'end tih end' stuff durin' the forst half, with Keith Dyson and 'Pop' Robson scorin' for the Toon, but!---(unfortunately for us!) 'Forest' aalso scored twice, and wih went in level at the break.


There was nee further score in the second half, (at least ah divvint think there was?) and tih be honest, ah was happy with the point gained, as it kept wih in the 'top six', an' a place in Europe looked on the cards for the thord season in a row.



After the match wih somehow managed tih get across the river tih Notts Coonty’s groond  in one piece!, (where wor bus was parked) and heeded for home!----with nee sign of ‘yee naa who’! AND with mee Black 'n' White scarf STILL! intact! aroond mee ‘still intact’ ‘Gregory Peck’!                                  



©Fink(The Mad-Sad Grundhpper!)

































Wednesday, 6 May 2026

AZ IT STANDS!

 Posted ‘high noon bells πŸ””’ Wedinzday 6th May 2026



It’s a very sad state of affairs, az it’s iz still mathematically possible in May, for NUFC to be relegated IF we lose wor last 3 games and The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham win theirs by big scores!— They will then be equal on points!

Wor goal difference iz minus 2, while West Ham’s iz minus 19, so the very, very unlikely scenario iz az follows!

NUFC lose 3-0 at The Friar Tuck Mob of Nottingham

Goal difference minus 5  45 points

West Ham beat The Arse 3-0 at home

Goal difference minus 16   39 points

NUFC lose 3-0 at home to WEST HAM!

Goal difference NUFC minus 8   45 points

Goal difference West Ham minus 13         42 points

NUFC lose 3-0 at The Cottage Pie Brigade of Fulhim in wor last game

Goal difference minus 11   45 points

West ham beat Leeedz 3-0 in their last game

Goal difference minus 10  45 points

This sequence of events surely cannot happen!—-surely?

Sunday, 3 May 2026

THE TOON 3 NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN (OR HOVE!) 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 3rd May 2026



"SAFE AZ HOOSES!"

A game we really did have to win--and we DID, but it woz a very norvee SJP crowd to witness it!

The alarm bells were ringin orly on when Brightin attacked the Leazes goal, ---and within 2 minutes they had broken through wor defence, but Hinchelwood's shot woz saved by The Pope in the Toon goal!

6 minutes later they hit the crossbar, but luckily it rebounded to safety, with Pope well beaten!



But it woz NUFC who took the lead at The Gallowgate End in the 12th minute, when Jacob Murphy chased a through baall doon the wing. Brightin's goalie Verbruggen raced oot of hiz box and collided with wor number 23, who fell to the groond!---Rather than stay doon to claim a free kick, he got to hiz feet and crossed from the byline to Wil Osula, who nodded home with their goalie 'nee where near'! (Just like Brightin's groond iz 'nee where near Brightin' (Hence wor name for them at the top of the page!) 1-0 to us!

This carmed wor norves a bit and within 12 minutes of the forst goal we were 2-0 up when a Bruno corner foond the heed of Dan Burn, who heeded the baall high into the net, with their goalie 'nee where' again! (sic!)

A massive scare came not lang after this az The Pope tried to clear a Murphy back pass, but hiz clearance rebounded off Hinshelwood and hit the near post!---Very luckily for The Pope it rebounded to safety! 

HT 2-0 to us!

In the 2nd period Brightin pressed the Gallowgate goal and after a couple of glarin misses they finally foond the net, when an unmarked Hinshelwood fired high into the goal on the hour mark, with The Pope well beaten! 

2-1 to us!



It woz 'pull your hair oot time' folks az Minteh somehow managed to 'sky' the baall, with the goal gapin', az strands of mee hair nearly came came oot at the roots!

Wissa woz then introduced and did a 'sky shot' az well, at the other end, when he somehow hit the baall high into the Leazes Gods az we graoned in dispair! Wor £55 million poond man still hazzint scored a home Premyaa Leegue goal aall season!

He had another chance just a few minutes later when he claimed the baall on the byline after a slip from a Brightin player--He woz clean through on goal but nearly baallzed it up again!---Luckily Harvey Barnes woz on hand to welly the baall into the goal, with 95 minutes on the clock, to seal the victory and prevent more potential 'hair loss'!

Just after the restart the ref blew for full time to loud cheerin from the majority of the crowd--but definatly not the 1,500 Brightin fans who had made the 350 mile jorney north!



Attendance: 52,099

News that 'The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham' had lost 3-0 at Brentfaad, meant that they can anly equal wor points total of 45, but have a goal difference of -19 to wor -2 and with just 3 games left, that seems an impossible task! We would have to lose wor last 3 games and they would have to win az well by huge scores!---It aint gannih happen!



To make safety definate, Villa play Sporz this afternooon and Sporz must win and then win their last 3 games to be able to beat wor points total!---Aall eyes on that game this evenin’!

Updated——⬇️’10:30pm bells πŸ””’

Villa 1 Sporz 2

Disgracefully, Villa made 7 changes in the hope of overturning a 1-0 defeat at Forest last Thorzday in the Europa Leegue semi final 1st leg!   The 2nd leg of the tie iz this comin Thorzday and the changes were to protect star players, for this Thorzday!

The result plunges West Ham into the bottom 3!- So mathematically NUFC are still in the relegation mix!  

However! odds of aboot 5,000 to 1 make this scenario the most unlikely thing that could ever happen!

 

 



 

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