Posted from ‘high noon 🕛 bells’ 🔔 onwards, Tuezday 26th May 2026 (PS: This should have went online at 'high noon', but I forgot to press the 'post' button!) 🙈
“THE NUMBERS GAME!”
Az there were nee trains between Darlo and York, replaced by the dreaded road transport busses, we decided to drive to York and then catch the train to King’s Cross in London for wor last game of football season at Craven Cottage!
Az parkin next to York station iz difficult, we booked with ‘Just Park’ where you book a space on somebody’s drive for £9 a day!— And so, that’s what we did!
It woz a driveway a 10 minute walk from the station at 36 St Pauls Mews according to Google maps!
We got there at 8:30am bells 🔔 and there woz a car on the drive we had booked? Aa brayed in the front door of the hoose for a good 5 minutes, but there woz nee answer? Jimmy, who had booked the space woz aalready in London, havin travelled doon the day before!
We rang him and he told us it woz hoose number 7, NOT number 36, which woz on the Google map he had sent me, but the map showed a random number for the postcode, NOT the actual number 7! (Didnt naa that of course!)
We drove to number 7 and thankfully, the drive woz empty and we dumped mee canny tranny and heeded for the station to catch the 9:30 🕤🔔s' train!
(Can you imagine the scenario if the drive of number 36 HAD been empty and I’d parked mee tranny there!— The bloke comes home in hiz car and sees a blue transit van on hiz driveway!— He wouldn’t be too happy, would he!?— The mind boggles!)
Anyway!—-enough of that!
We caught the train to London and then onwards on the tube to Pudsey (Sorry, Putney,) (cheers to Jimmy for spotting mee dillibrit misstayk🖕) which iz on the opposite side of the river Thames to Fulim’s groond, for some liquid lubrications! It woz boiling hot, with the temperature aboot 30 degrees!
After visiting 3 boozers it woz time to heed for the match and that’s when the really bad news started!
The Toon players didn’t look interested and of course some of them were heedin for The World Cup in America a few days later AND SO they wouldn’t want to get injured in a game with nothin ridin on it az we couldn’t get a European place OR be relegated of course!
We simply couldn’t get ‘oot of the blocks, with misplaced passes and lost possession!
It woz awful to watch and sure enough Fulim took the lead in the 20th minute when Kevin hit a free kick off from just ootside box, which hit the crossbar. THe baall rebounded to |Diop, who had the simple task of heedin the baall into an empty net! 1-0 to them!
It woz SO hot that 2 waterbreaks were taken in the first half, az the ‘current bun’ ☀️ shone brightly in the clear blue sky!
We simply couldnt get shots on target az we sauntered through the half!
HT 1-0 to them!
We attacked the end where the 2,700 or so Toon fans were housed, in the 2nd period, but it made not one iota of difference, where shots on goal were a novelty az far az we were conserned!
Sure enough in the 80th minute The Cottage Pie Mob doubled their lead when Cairney hit a piledriver shot from distance, which had The Pope in the NUFC goal well beaten and unable to get anywhere near it!
2-0 to them!
The temperature had risen and mee mobile ‘telling bone’ 📱 said it woz now 33 degrees!—An unprecedented 3 waterbreaks were taken in this half, because of this!
There woz nee way back after their 2nd goal and after 5 minutes of stoppage time the ref blew to end wor 58 games season and to end wor agony!
Wor away scoring record this season in the Premyaa Leegue iz abysmal— scorin just 17 goals in 19 games— that’s less than a goal a game on average!
We finished 12th in the table! Thank God this crap season iz ower!
Just how Eddie Howe can survive this, iz anybodys guess!---There's one thing for certain, the PIF will not be happy with a place in the bottom half of the Premyaa Leegue table!
Something haz got to change, or else we will be in a relegation battle next season, playin' like that!
News that the team doon the road had qualified for Europe, just made the situation even more unbearable!---Who would be a Toon fan!?
Roll on next season— but not until we’ve had a good rest to recover!
Attendance: 27,442 (2,701 very despondant Toon fans!)
Pub crawl pix 4 new ones visited
Bringing the total for season 2025-2026 to record breaking 167 different drinkin dens!
This total will probably never be beaten!
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