Saturday, 29 February 2020

THE TOON 0 THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES 0 **** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '10:37pm bells' Saturday 29th February 2020
Will be updated sometime on Sunday!
VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY

"WE CAN ANLY SAVE WORSELS!"

A chaotic weekend (up til now!) meenz that despite a goalless draw and a point against 'The Hillbillies' of Bornley this afternoon, unexpected results elsewhere meenz that we are now closer to the bottom 3 than we were on Friday afternoon!

This iz because bottom club Nohrich beat 3rd placed Lestaa at Carrow Road on Friday neet, West Ham won 3-1 against Sooothampton today, and relegation threatened Wotfaad beat undefeated champions elect Liverpoool 3-0 at Vicarage Road this evenin'!----Who could have predicted that??? 

On Friday afternoon NUFC were 7 points clear of 3rd bottom----but now we are just 5 points above 'the abyss' with just ONE win in the last TEN Premyaa Leegue games!

Wor 4th consecutive 'blank' meenz that we are now the lowest goalscorers in the 'top flight' with just 24 goals from 28 games!!!

Wot a sad state of affairs for a club that were dubbed 'The Entertainers' not so lang ago!

Reeely, we shud have won this game, but for poor finishin', NUFC couldn't 'finish off' a team who had most definitely come for a bore draw and a point to take back to 'Hillbillieland in deepest Lancashire!!
Matt Ritchie had chances to 'win it', but several blocks of shots and a last minute attempt where he shud have scored at The Leazes End came to nothin', az we went 360 minutes withoot a goal in The Premyaa Leegue! (accordin' to the 'stats' NUFC had 20 shots on goal aaltogether, with not one gannin in!)  A slightly better performance than the last few games---but NEE goals again!
  52,000 plus had came for this game (allegedly!)---that's 2,000 Bornley fans in 'level 7' of The Leazes End, anothaa 10,000 'freebee' Toon fans, plus 40,000 Toon fans who had actually paid to watch this game, which will surely be last on 'Match of the Day' again! (2nd last actually!)

Wor 'beloved'? owner 'The Fat Controller' woz missin' from hiz seat in the directors box yet again, leavin' the rest of us to suffer the dreadful 'misfirin' fare' on the pitch!-----We can anly save worsels and NOT rely on othaa teams losin', if we are to avoid the 'dreaded drop'!

OH for a 'number 9' like £15 million poond Alan Shearer, who scored 206 goals for NUFC----unlike wor current £40 million poond 'number 9', who haz scored a paltry ONE goal in 28 Premyaa Leegue appearences this season! (He played much deeper 'on the left', than usual today, az 'Broken Nose Bruce' put Dwight Gayle up front!)
FANS BANNER AGAINST 'THE FAT CONTROLLER' BEFORE THE MATCH!

THE SAME BANNER ON 'ANT AND DEC'S SATURDAY NEET SHOW' ON THE TELLY!



Toon team line ups and more pix tomorrow! (when we can be bothered!?)

NEXT DAY! '9:43am bells'
Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Lascelles, Rose, Almiron, Hayden, Shelvey, Ritchie, Gayle, Joelinton (Saint-Maximin 78)

Attendance: 52,219 (2,000 'Hillbillies')
This woz the 'alledged' attendance, but there were loads of empty seats and we know of fans who couldn't GIVE spare tickets away!

*


Friday, 28 February 2020

THE TOON V THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:35pm bells' Friday 28th February 2020
GREY'S MONUMENT ENTRANCE TO ELDON SQUARE 
IN THE CENTRE OF TOON!

























Thursday, 27 February 2020

TUESDAY TOON TELLY TIE!

Posted '12:33pm bells' Thorsday 27th February 2020

"WHEY AYE 50!--50!"

Great news for aall 'Toon Tavern Tellyhoppers'!---------
Wor FA Cup 5th roond tie next Tuesday at The Hawthorns v 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom iz NOW live on BBC telly (red button) and online on the BBC website
NUFC have sold wor entire allocation of 5,050 tickets for The Smethwick away end and the game iz a complete selloot (az far az we are aware?)

More to follow on this game at the beginnin' of next week!

Update on ticket sales:
We were WRANG!  West Brom have anly sold 15,000 tickets to their own fans---meeenin that 7,000 are still available to home fans anly!

Monday, 24 February 2020

JELLIED EELS MOB ON GOOD FRIDAY!

Posted '5:40pm bells' Munday 24th February 2020
                                               A glimpse of The Strawberry Corner
                                       through the tower blocks gap from Gallowgate!

It has been confirmed that we will play 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham at SJP on Good Friday April 10th at '8:00 bells' for live SKY telly!

Wor 5th roond away FA Cup tie against 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom next Tuesday iz a selloot for NUFC fans, az we have sold wor entire allocation of 5,050 tickets for the away end!----not bad for a Tuesday neet!

Aalso, we have been allocated a forthaa 600 tickets for wor away game at Sooothampton on Saturday 7th March
This meeenz that NUFC will have 2,900 followers at the game!
One 'quirk' aboot admission to the game, which we have never seen before, states that nee under 2's are allowed---ie: NEE BAABIES!

Sunday, 23 February 2020

CRISTIL PALLIS 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted from '6:30pm bells' onwards, Saturday 22nd February 2020 on the train yem (which had been delayed ower half an hour az the train driver woz late!)
View from row 18, seat 72
of The Arthur Wait (away) Stand
(NUFC are in the horrible dark green change strip!)

"IT WON'T TAKE LANG TO DEE THIS MIS-MATCH REPORT!"

Just one shot on target in the first half from Joelinton and one shot on target in the second half from Fabian Schar summed up yet anothaa miserable weekend in the capital city, followin wor 4-0 drubbing at 'The Arse' last Sunday!

This time it woz just a 1-0 defeat after a needless free kick woz given away at the end of forst half by one of wor defenders (couldn't see clearly just who gave the free kick away?) and Van Aaholt said "thank yoo very much!" and sent his kick into the top corner of the net with Dubravka in The Toon goal beaten aall ends up!
The Toon 'attack'? the right hand goal
(1st half)

To top up this terrible performance, Lazaro got himself sent off in the 95th minute when he needlessly 'rugby tackled' a Pallis attacker, on a run towards goal!
Aalso, SIX othaa Toon players were shown yellow cards az well!

Pallis had 18 shots in total (accordin to the stats) and if it wasnt for Dubravka in The Toon goal, makin some great saves, then the scoreline would have been much worse!

With nee goals yet again for us, £40 million poond number 9 striker Joelinton, haz now gone an incredible SIX MONTHS! withoot a solitary goal in The Premyaa Leegue! (And just ONE aaltold! v Sporz last August)
2nd half 'inaction'!

It reeely is very hard work to watch this dross and it doesnt get much worse than this!  "ZZZZzzzz!!!"😴
With othaa results gannin kindly for NUFC, we are somehow still 7 points above the drop zone, but drop to 14th place!

Toon team line up to follow when aa can be bothered!😠

The pre match 'gargels' took place in Norwood Junction
(20 mins walk from groond)

The post match 'gargels' took place near King's Cross-St Pancras stations

*Updated some considerable time later!

The train finally 'limped' across The King Edward Bridge 57 minutes late, at '10:37pm bells'---3 minutes short of claimin' a full ticket refund!😳

Toon team: Dubravka, Lazaro, Fernandez, Lascelles, Schar, Rose (Ritchie 71), Almiron (Gayle 71), S. Longstaff, Bentaleb, Saint-Maximin, Joelinton

Attendance: 25,486 (2,800 very bored Toon fans! "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!")😴

*WOR £101 MILLION POOND STRIKERS PREMYAA LEEGUE TALES OF WOE THIS SEASON!
Almiron: £21 million (2 goals) (Last one 6 weeks ago) 
Joelinton: £40 million (1 goal) (26 weeks ago) (6 months!) 
Saint-Maximin: £20 million (1 goal) (11 weeks ago)
Gayle; £10 million (0 goals!)
Muto £10 million (0 goals!)
Carroll: Free transfor (0 goals!)
TOTAL: 4 GOALS FROM 6 STRIKERS IN 27 GAMES WHO COST NUFC A TOTAL OF £101,000,000!!!!!




*WOT THE PAPERS SAY!--- 

                             "CAPITAL CALAMITY!"




Friday, 21 February 2020

CRISTIL PALLIS V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:29pm bells' Friday 21st February 2020

Just like a London bus queue, we heed for the capital city for the 2nd time in a week, followin wor heavy 4-0 defeat at 'The Arse' last Sunday!

We face a Pallis side that haz won just one of their last 11 Leegue fixtures, as they nosedive doon the table!  Let's hope that NUFC make them 'nosedive' a little fortaa doon towards the relegation zone, tomorrow!?

Dwight Gayle iz said to be fit to retorn at last, az iz Muto, but Joelinton is carryin' an injury and will probably miss oot!
Aalso missin oot are, Clark, Dummett, Krafth, Shelvey and (suprize!, suprize!) Andy Carroll!

A dammin' stat iz that wor last goal from a striker in the Premyaa Leegue, woz SIX MONTHS AGO, on August 25th last year!!!! (Joelinton's solitary Premyaa goal in wor 1-0 win at Sporz new abode!)  
'Broken Nose Bruce' haz stated 'the blindingly obvious' and said that £40 million poond acwazishin <(We naa aall the big words!) Joelinton, might NOT be a natural goalscorer!!!!! (1 goal in 26 Premyaa Leegue appearances, tells its own sorry tale!)
Predictably, az both us and Pallis are bottom scorers in the table, averagin' less than a goal a game, a borin' 'nil-nil' result iz the most likely outcome! "ZZZZzzzz!" 😴 

NUFC have sold wor entire allocation of 2,800 tickets and we are on the '8:00 bells' train to KX (King's Cross, London) tomorrow mornin'----cans of 'liquid lubrication' at the ready!

A full 'Geordie Times' match and 'booze' report, will appear here sometime on Sunday and yoo can bet your bottom dollar that this game will be last on 'Match of the Day' (again!) on Saturday neet!

PS: The Geordie Times forst went to Sehurst Park nearly 50 years ago and an archive match report on that game is printed below!
(Ground number 014)




(GROUND NUMBER 14)



Date of First Visit: 22nd AUGUST 1970

SELHURST PARK, LONDON


CRYSTAL PALACE 1 

NEWCASTLE UNITED 0


(OLD) DIVISION ONE

ATTENDANCE: 27,287





"THE CRYSTAL MAZE!"



Meesel, Billy ‘hard case’ Gardner, Dylan and Deka Scott took the midneet ‘sleeper’ doon tih the capital for this one, and we arrived in ‘the big city’ at aboot ‘six bells’.

Skinheeds had just become ‘aall the rage’ and Billy ‘sported’ hiz ‘new image’ with a qwaata inch ‘skin’, complete with a shaved partin’!

He aalso ‘sported’ a size ten pair of ‘Doc Martens’ and waz ‘ready for anythin’!?




With a 'mystical' name like Crystal Palace, ah somehow had 'visions' of Selhurst Park resemblin'---well!---a 'palace'!, fit for a Queen!,------ covered in crystal glass!.



That 'vision'? soon evaporated when ah forst caught sight of the groond!.

The main stand was aboot sixty years aad, and had corrigated sheetin' 'clagged' tih the sides. The stand opposite, accordin' tih the match programme, had just been built, and had claret 'n' blue claddin' at the front. The two ends were open terracin', and the end we were in, had a grass bank tih stand on at the rear!.

(The Queen would NOT! be impressed!) (or amused!)

                                   


This was Palace's forst ever season in the top division, and their fans were really 'up for it' as kick off time approached and they were roamin’ the streets around the ground lookin’ for any Toon fans for a fight!---However!---az soon az they seen Billy they changed their minds and scarpered!



The match, as it torned oot, was'nt much tih write home aboot, and the Toon made a 'wobbly start' with John McNamee and Ron Guthrie in particular at the back havin' a bad game.



The 'new kids on the block' from Croydon (where Palace play) took advantage of this and ran oot one-nil winners, with their anly goal comin' in the forst half.



SO!--(very despondently!) wih headed for the station after the 'last rites', and caught the train for the twenty mile journey back tih Kings Cross. (Aye!, London IS a big F***** place!)




But---be warned!---whatever yih dee, divvint gan there by 'jam jar', like ah did a few seasons ago. Because of the traffic, it took us THREE F****** HOURS! tih travel the thirty odd miles tih the groond!, from the end of the 'M1' in north London! -----AND wih got totally lost as well!.



(Which was nearly as lang as it took us, tih travel the 280 miles from Newcastle tih north London!) (The mind boggles!)



The usual guide of 'homin' in' on the floodlight pylons was nee good either, as yih can't see them or the groond, 'til yih practically on top of it!.



It's not signposted, and there are hundreds of side streets tih get lost in!. It's like tryin' tih find ya way through a bloody gigantic maze!, and is without doubt, the hardest groond in the Futbaall League tih find!.

                                           



On another occasion, wih tried tih get a taxi tih Selhurst Park from Kings Cross. It took wih an hour an' a half!, cost the thick end of twenty five 'dustbin lids'!, AND---the taxi driver got f***** lost as well!?.



Nuw---if a 'black cab' driver, who's taken 'The Knowledge' , can't find it, what f***** chance have the rest of wih got???.



Yih could say that tryin' tih find the groond, is like tryin' tih find ya way through a 'Crystal Maze'!--------sic.

                                           


Footnote:

'The Crystal Maze' is (was?) an obscure (and daft!) telly programme on Channel Four, where contestants have tih try and find their way oot of a giant maze!.

                                            ’çÏ“

'The Knowledge' is a test that aal London 'cabbies' have tih tek, tih show that they know where every street in London is!.

(Obviously, NOT! includin' the street where Palace play?!)



                                

'



Wednesday, 19 February 2020

TELLY TIMES FOR APRIL DUE OOT THIS FRIDAY (ALLEDGEDLY!)

Posted '1:25pm bells' Wedinzday 19th February 2020
Updated Saturday 21st February

The telly times for April have now been published 

Saturday 4th April---Bornmoooth, away at '3:00 bells'

Saturday 11th April---The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham, home
Now Good Friday 10th April (allegedly) nee ko time yet?

Saturday 18th April---The Blue Moonies of Manchester, away at '3:00 bells' 
(Will be moved if eethaa of us progress to the semi-final stage of the FA Cup)

Saturday 25th April---Wotfaad away at '3:00 bells'

Aalso! should we beat West Brom in the 5th roond of the FA Cup, then wor game at home to 'The Hazbeenz and Villians' on Saturday 21st March will be moved az well, az this iz qwaataa finals day!

Monday, 17 February 2020

THE ARSE 4 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '1:30pm bells' Munday 17th February 2020
"QWACK!, QWACK!---CAN YOU LET US IN PLEASE!---
IT'S P*SSING DOWN!--QWACK!"

"WE MUST BE QWACKERS!"
THE TOON ATTACK THE AWAY END (1st half)

Storm Dennis woz supposed to reek havoc with wor travel plans, but thankfully we got off lightly with anly a slight delay on wor train to King's Cross (London).
The delay woz near York where the floodwater had reached the tracks and damaged the signalin' equipment!
THE LINE IZ FLOODED!

Az we past York yoo would have thought that we were in the lake district and not north Yorkshire and we wondered just how many homes had been flooded!
"ARE WE IN THE LAKE DISTRICT?"

On the train were grandson's Jamie(10) and Zac(8) with Zac's daddy and this woz not anly their forst trip to Arsenal, but aalso their forst ever trip to London and they were dead excited to say the least!
ZAC AND JAMIE 'SHARE' HEADPHONES!

We arrived at KX just 10 minutes late to torrential rain and high winds!---We caught a bus to Islington (where The Arse play) and heeded for a child friendly bar on the banks of the Union canal caalled (appropriately!) The Narrow Boat.

We were soaked to the skin in the rain and settled doon for some real ale and a 'nose-bag' (food!)
Az we sat near the window owerlookin some canal boats, two ducks suddenly made an appearence and climbed onto the towpath!

They made their way to the bar's main door and it looked az though they were askin us in 'duck speak' ("qwack, qwack!") to let them in from the pourin' rain! -----Even the ducks needed shelter from Storm Dennis, we thought!!!!----it woz rainin that hard! (see top photo!) 
Anyway!---it woz soon time to gan to the match and we hopped on anothaa bus to take us to the stadium. 
JAMIE AND ZAC OOTSIDE 'THE EMIRATES'

The sold oot away section were in good voice az the game kicked off and we held wor own in the forst period, creatin' chances for Joelinton, who fired wide from a Saint- Maximin through baall.
New boy Lazaro aalso had a chance, but woz denied by a late tackle in the box!----HT 0-0---so far so good!
2nd HALF ACTION AZ NUFC ATTACK THE FAR GOAL!

By this time the rain had stopped, but the wind woz still a problem!
And then the 'collapse' az The Arse attacked the end that we were in!----It took them just 9 minute of the half to break through wor defence when an unmarked Aubameyang (hope a'v speltt that reet?) sent in a powerful heeder across goal to beat Debravka 'aall ends up'!
It woz 2-0 to 'them' just 3 mins later when Pepe doubled the lead with a side footed effort!
We had chances to fight back and Saint-Maximin hit the post at the far end from us, but hiz shot rebounded back into play!

Just when it looked az though that would be the final score, in the last minute of the 90, Ozil made it 3-0 and then deep into stoppage time Lacazette put the final nail in wor coffin with a scrambled shot!
Not a good day in more than one respect, but Jamie and Zac were happy enough to get their forst taste of the capital city!
JAMIE TAKES 'THE TUBE' FOR THE FORST TIME EVER!

It woz then 'onward' from Arsenal tube station back to KX with Jamie (Zac went somewhere else with hiz daddy!) and finally the train yem at '7:56 bells'----nee disruption this time and we finally arrived back on Tyneside at '11:20 bells'!

The defeat drops us to 13th in the table and 7 points above the drop zone! 

Toon team: Dubravka, Lazaro (Hayden74), Fernandez (Ritchie75), Lascelles, Clark (Schar83), Rose, Almiron, S. Longstaff, Bentaleb, Saint-Maximin, Joelinton

Attendance: 60,188 (3,500 Toon fans)  There were loads of empty seats because of the bad weather and wor estimate iz that anly 50,000 were present in total!

*




Sunday, 16 February 2020

THE ARSE V THE TOON **** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 16th February 2020
No this isnt the lake district
It's a suburb of York!

View from train window!

We are on train to London and have been delayed by floods near York!

Match report to follow much later!

THE HEEDBANGERS 0 THE KIDDYS 0 *** CONFERENCE NORTH

Posted '9:30am bells' Sunday 16th February 2020

THE WIND WINS IT!

Coz The Toon wornt playin til today--and Dunston's game woz off---we heeded for The Nags Heed on Gatesheed High Street and then onwards to Gatesheed stadium to see Gatesheed play Kiddy Harriers az this game woz still on!

It woz played in a force 10 gale and az the ref woz useless the game ended nil-nil, which woz probably a fair result!

The ref woz a stickler for the rules and az the Kiddy goalie placed the baall for a goal kick it kept rolling in the strong wind!
After 3 attempts he decided to kick the rolling baall anyway, but the ref would have non of it and made him take it again when the wind died doon---much to the annoyance of the 1,000 plus crowd which included 63 Kiddiminster fans! (See top photo and far corner flag!)

It wiz back to The Nags after the game, as storm Dennis came in with torrential rain!
We'd got wor Saturday 'fix', but it woz just a pity that the wind and ref spoiled it!

Saturday, 15 February 2020

ST. VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE! (WELL!---NOT QUITE!)

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 15th February 2020

Last neet wor U23s beat The SMB U23s 2-0 at SJP in a Premyaa Leegue 2 game!

Wor goals were scored by Tom Allan in the forst half with a toe poke in, in the 2nd minute from a Longelo cross----and the 2nd woz scored by Toure in the 71st minute, with a heeder from a Longelo cross!

A 'crowd' of 1,644 were present in The East Stand, with aboot 90 away saddos in The lower tier of The Leazes End!

Not exactly a 'massacre', but we did the double ower them to send the Toon fans home happy!

In other news, the Dunston game aa woz plannin to gan tee, iz OFF!
Az I write the Gatesheed game v Kiddy Harriers iz still ON----so I will heed to 'The Heed' to get mee 'fix' instead! (But not before gannin to The Nags HEED boozer on Gatesheed High Street for a few 'gargels' beforehand!)🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

Friday, 14 February 2020

THE ARSE v THE TOON **** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted '12:36pm bells' Friday 14th February 2020

"DENNIS THE MENACE!"

On Sunday we heed to The Smoke (London) for wor annual visit to The Emirates Stadium and we are hopin (against hope!) that we can stop a run of SEVEN consecutive defeats at this venue!
We sold aall available tickets weeks ago!

The NUFC team news iz that Danny Rose and Valentino Lazaro are expected to play, but strikers Andy Carroll and Dwight Gayle are both still 'crocked' and will miss oot!
Joelinton and Muto are in contention to start though!

The bad news iz that 'Storm Dennis' iz expected to reek havoc throughoot the weekend, following in the footpath of 'Storm Ciara' orlier this week! (and don't we know aboot 'Storm Ciara'---(see groond 347(NOT) match report from Munday!)
Wor train iz due to leave at 8:56 from 'The Central' (station) and we have been told that it could take up to 6 hours to get to KX (King's Cross, London)----Lets hope not, or will will have to gan straight to the groond---and miss oot on the pre match 'gargels'!!!

Both Grandson's Jamie (10) and Zac (9) will be gannin to London for the forst ever time, and az coincidence will have it, Arsenal woz aalso my forst ever visit to the capital 52 years ago, when we got a 0-0 draw at their old Highbury home---which iz half a mile from The Emirates Stadium
(An archive match report on that game in 1968 iz printed below)

In othaa news, wor U23s are in action at SJP tooneet when we take on the SMBs U23s in Premyaa Leegue 2 derby----The East Stand will be open for the '7:00 bells' start!

And then tomorrow, it's a trip to Dunston once again, for wor Saturday 'fix', where 'The Bad Blue Boys' are in action against Prescott Cables from Liverpoool in a North West Coonties fixture! (Provided 'Dennis the Menace' doesn't blow the game into touch!)

Match reports on aall the above games will appear here in due course----Az per usual---"Watch this space!"


004 highbury arsenal


(GROUND NUMBER 4)

Date of First Visit: 9th NOVEMBER 1968
ARSENAL STADIUM, HIGHBURY, LONDON

ARSENAL 0

NEWCASTLE UNITED 0

(OLD) DIVISION ONE

ATTENDANCE 34,168 (2,000 Toon fans)




"IS HAROLD IN?"


Mee 'debut' visit tih the 'smoke' tih see the Toon play Arsenal, torned oot tih be a real 'eye opener'. For 'innocent'? school kid's like meesel and mee mate 'Billy' the thing that fascinated us as we travelled on the supporters bus through the streets of London was just how big the bloody place was.

Mile after mile of endless streets an' buildings, and even at six in the mornin' it was quite busy.
(Wi'd left Tyneside at midnight, as yih did in those days)


As this was wor forst time doon London to watch The Toon, we were taken tih see 'the sights' like 'The Hooses of Parliament', 'The Tower of London', and 'Big Ben'.


Next to the Hooses of Parliament there was an aad gadgie sellin' poppies from a staall as it was rememberance Sunday the followin' day. Aa got mee eye on a huge poppy at the back the size of a futbaall rosette and insisted that that!was the one aa wanted!

Aa gave him a threpny bit and he reluctantly pinned it to the lapel on mee 'nanny goat' an' aa felt as pleased as punch with mee new 'fashion accessory' as aa sauntered off doon the road! (aa say 'reluctantly', as aa think he wanted more than threepence for it!) (one pence in todays money!)


Aalso on the tour was a visit tih Downing Street, where aa was hopin' tih meet Harold Wilson, the then Prime Minister, for a bit 'crack' aboot futbaall. (he supported Huddersfield Town)

In the 1960's, yih could actually waalk reet up tih the front door of 'Number 10' (unlike nuw, where there are huged spiked gates at the bottom of the street tih bar the way, because of the threat of terrorism) (how times change!) 'Officer Dibble' was guardin' the front entrance, and aa asked him if ah could knock on the door and speak tih the Prime Minister.


"Is Harold in?", aa said in an optimistic voice, "a'v got some important business tih discuss with him aboot futbaall!",
---but, aall ah got was one of those,
'YOU'D BETTER P**S OFF BONNY LAD, OR I'LL KICK YOU UP THE F***** ARSE', looks!


---Aa thought it best not tih ask him again, for the fear of bein' hoyed into 'The Tower of London', so wih left very disappointed, (not knowin' what 'Harold' thought of the Toon's chances that day!) and headed for Islington, 'Norf Landon'!.


We arrived at Highbury a while later, and (as luck would have it!) the team bus pulled up ootside the main entrance just as wih got there.
The directors, one wearin' a monocle! (a member of the 'McKeag Clan', ah think?) got off forst, and with their 'noses in the air', they completely ignored the loyal fans who'd travelled doon tih London.


The players in contrast, (a'm glad tih say!) acknowledged the waitin' supporters and signed a few autographs before gannin in.


The uniformed usher on the door looked very regal (as did the stadium!) and as wih entered the East Stand paddock the grandeur of Highbury was there for aall tih see.


The two double decker 'mirror image' stands, with whitewashed balcony waalls on either side of the pitch, looked very impressive, and it was certainly a million miles better than anything wih had at St. James' Park (which still had open terracin' on two sides of the pitch!) To wor right was The Northbank End where the Arsenal 'choir' congregated underneath the roofed terraces and to wor left was the open Clock End which (of course!) had a huge clock the size of 'Big Ben' at the rear of the terracin'


Aalthough the match ended nowts each, it was far from a borin' game, with the Toon by far the better team, and for every save that McFaul in the Newcastle goal had tih mek, his counterpart Bob Wilson in the Arsenal goal had tih mek two.


However, 'The Mags' were very lucky not tih give a penalty away when 'Pop' Robson punched an Arsenal shot ower the bar, which the ref. and linesman did'nt see (much tih the annoyance of 'The Gunners' forwards!) who had tih settle for a corner.


Later on, things evened themselves oot, when 'Pop' evaded several tackles, in a run from one end of the pitch tih the other.

His shot, which was gannin in, was deflected tih Jackie Sinclair who fired a powerful drive into the net!---anly for the ref. tih disallow it for offside!. (looked o.k. tih me, like?)

This was an excellent performance from the 'Black 'n' Whites' in a game wih should iv won easily.
On the final whistle wih headed for the 'bright lights' of the 'West End' with wor 'guides', and in particular, we made for the seedy 'red light strip joints' of 'Soho' for some more 'sight seein'! ('Fenwick's window' in Northumberland Street was neva like this!)



(For 'innocent' 14 year old's like me and Billy, this was the REAL 'EYE OPENER'!)




©Fink ™(the mad-sad grundhpper!)

 

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