Saturday 31 December 2016


Posted '1:33pm bells' New Years Eve 2016
(View from row 2 Milburn Stand balcony)


Whereaz Boxin' Day torned oot to be 'disaster day' with wor defeat, Brighton's win to gan above us---and aall the othaa teams gainin' points on us, yesterday waz a complete reversal az we beat 10 men Forest at SJP!

The 'garglin' session started in 'The Bodega' on Westgate Road where we were informed off 'Sky Sports' that Brighton's game v Cardiff had been caalled off due to thick fog on the south coast!---Thiz of course meant that if we beat 'The Friar Tuck Mob' we would gan back to the top of the tree for the new year---and there would be nothin' that Chris Hughton's side could de aboot it! (the Brighton manager)

We started off attackin' The Leazes goal and within 3 minutes we were in front when Matt Richie hit a 25 yard free kick which deflected off the Forest waall and into the net to send the crowd wild! (see Geordie Times top pic!)

However!---we didn't take advantage and let 'The Friar Tuck Mob' back in when a defensive error let in Dumitru to level things on the half hour mark, az aa sat with 'mee heed in mee hands' fearin' the worst --again! (HT 1-1)

The tornin' point of the game came on the hour mark when a double bookin' for Forest captain Mills meant that they were doon to 10 men and revenge for wor double sendings off at their place at the beginnin' on the month! (to see match report from that game, scroll doon page!)

2 minutes later and we were back in front when super striker Dwight Gayle hit a baall into the net from a very tight angle at 'The Gallowgate End'!---JUSTICE!

And then the killer blow when Gayle again scored --with hiz chest this time!----to claim hiz 19th goal in 19 starts this season!

At the end of the game somemore good news!---we hord that 3rd placed Reading's game had been abandoned at half time due to the foggy south, meanin' that we stayed 9 points clear of them---and of course leapfrogged Brighton to retain the top spot!---


Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie (Lazaar 83), Hayden, Colback (Diame67), Atsu, Perez, Gayle (Mitrovic 88)

Attendance: 52,228 (again, the highest of the season by 49 from Boxin' Day!) 2,300 Forest---they couldn't sell their full allocation of 3,200 and had the norve to chant "Sing in the library!"
Some of the Forest fans who bothered to torn up!--
Spotted here in Leazes Park before the game!
From left to right: Maid Marion, Robin Hood and Friar Tuck!

*PS: Update: 2:25pm bells----some more great news---- 'uddersfield could anly draa with 'The Venky Chicken Rovers' and the gap between 'us and 3rd iz still 9 points! 

Tuesday 27 December 2016


Posted '3:11pm bells' Tuesday 27th December 2016


Like millions of others aa had turkey at home on Xmas day for mee din dins and the last thing I expected in this Boxin' Day encoontaa with The Owls of Sheffield waz anothaa 'turkey', but that's exactly wot we got in the the shape of 'a man in black' in the centre of the pitch caalled  Paul Tierney who made wrong decision after wrong decision by NOT sendin' off Wednesday players for hatchet jobs---bookin' them instead--- and missin' major 'calls'.

Of course we didn't help worsels  eethaa by puttin' in anothaa Boxin' Day horror show (wor 9th defeat in the last 12 on this day!) az wor visitors took advantage of poor play by us az we froze in the stands!

They went for us from 'the off' az they attacked The Leazes End where their 3,100 fans were housed high up in 'level 7'

Dwight Gayle had hit the bar orly on at the other end and Cieran Clark missed with 2 heeders.
Karl Darlow waz kept bust in wor goal with some fine saves and to be honest we were happy to gan into the half time interval still on level torms!

Ootstandin' saves from Darlow kept us in it in the orly part of the 2nd period but the inevitable happened, when, after anothaa brilliant save from 'the man in green', Wednesday scored with a scrambled heeder from Loovens at The Gallowgate End!

To waste time their players then procceded to 'con the turkey' by feignin' injury to make him stop the game when we were in 'full flow'!
Wasted free kicks (by Gayle) and corners (by Richie) didn't help eethaa and the clock waz run doon, with 6 minutes added due to the visitors 'antics'!---The extra time did us ne good though and we suffered wor FOURTH home defeat of the season in front of wor biggest crowd so far (34 higher than wor game v Bormingham)

Roll on Friday neet when we take on 'The Tricky Trees' of Nottingham----lets hope we've seen the last of the turkeeez!!!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Hayden, Colback (Mitrovic 80), Gouffran (Perez 62), Diame (Atsu68), Gayle

Attendance: 52, 179 (3,100 Wednesdayites)
Highest crowd outside the top flight this season


Saturday 24 December 2016

323 roundwood pavilion rotherham u23s

Ground number 323

Date of first visit: 20thDecember 2016

Roundwood Pavilion, Parkgate, Rotherham


Rotherham United U23s  2

Newcastle United U23s  2 (Smith, Roberts)


Central League Cup, group stage

Attendance: 250 (estimated) 6 NUFC saddos  (plus 7 or 8 watchin’ ower a back garden fence despite the fact that it waz FREE admission! < Wot plonkers!)




A week before this game wor lass telt me that it waz 3 year old granddaughter Freya’s nativity play at nursery school, which started exactly the same time and day az this game at 1:00 bells in the afternoon! (Mee other grandson Zac’s nativity play waz at 3 on the same day az well!)

It waz a hard choice but mee head ruled mee heart and I chose to freeze to death in deepest Yorkshire despite catchin’ a heavy cold the day before the game!
(Wor lass said that she would video both of them on hor mobile and show me when I got back!)

My logic? waz that I would probably never get the chance to gan to Roundwood Pavilion again, but I could aalways make a special effort next year to see both of their nativity plays!


‘Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer’ picked me up in hiz ‘jam jar’ and ‘off we set’ to sooth Yorkshire with a ‘hand written note’ of how to get there! (Wot’s a sat-nav, like?)

It waz a bit of a complicated place to get te az there were right hand turns at pubs, left hand turns at pubs and then left at a canal, etc!---Somehow we managed to find the groond withoot askin’ anybody and parked up in between a golf course and the futbaall groond! (there were signposts for the golf course but NOT the groond?)

Az we parked up some youthful Rotherham players in club tracksuits ambled doon the car park, jumped into cars and drove away?---az there waz ne sign of the NUFC team bus (just an hour before kick off) we started to wonder if we’d come to the reet place?---OR!—if they’d switched the game to Rotherham’s main groond instead?  (A groond we’d visited just 2 months previously!)


Panic attack!---we waalked up the car park where a sign conformed that this waz indeed Rotherham’s trainin’ groond!  Roundwood Pavilion waz at the top of the rise and we nervously asked a club official if indeed the game waz takin’ place here! “YES!” he said, much to wor relief----And then the next very important question---“Iz the clubhouse open?”--- again an affirmative answer waz given az the team bus finally torned up!----- so! (az yi de!) in we went for some much needed liquid lubrication!

The clubhoose soon filled up---NOT with futbaall fans I may add, but with golfers from the course next door!

One fan (futbaall I fink?) asked if Rafa Benitez waz here! “ I wouldn’t have thought so az nebody in this team haz a hope in hell of breakin’ into the forst team at the mo!” I told him---addin’ that “Peter Beardsley waz here though!”---(he didn’t look impressed!)


It waz soon time to heed for the terraces of the Parkgate FC groond where the match waz takin’ place---apparently Rotherham rent the groond from them for 2nd team and junior games!

The usual predicable saddos were there includin’ Dave from York, Alex of St George, Glennn from Ashington and Biffa the Beer <(this isn’t a spellin’ missteak az he likes a pint or 10!)


The game kicked off in freezin’ conditions and suprizingly there waz a much bigger ‘crowd’ than wot I expected (250 to the 100 expected!)

Just like the conditions we ‘froze’ from the ‘off’ and it didn’t look good---However we DID take the lead in the 14th minute when Liam Smith fired home after a pass from Liam Gibson

However!---it took the home side just 3 minutes to level things and the scores were level at half time


Nebody seemed to know that if we finished 2nd in the group (most likely) if we would qualify for the next stage—such iz the chaotic nature of the competition!

Anyway the 2nd half started off just like the forst, az pass after pass went astray and in the 68thminute we were punished for this when Rotherham took the lead when Bailey nodded in a glancin’ heeder!

Aaall looked lost but Callum Roberts saved the day for us 10 mins later with a shot from the edge of the box at The Clubhoose End!
THE CLUBHOOSE (in the far corner) END!

Like aa say—az there iz ne format for qualification to the next roond we haven’t got a clue if we will qualify!?---OR NOT!?---wot a farce!


PS: This waz in fact ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ 4th Rotherham home groond that we’ve seen The Toon play on!---the others bein’ Millmoor, Don Valley Stadium and New York Stadium

Aalso it waz the 2ndnew groond in a row to see the same home team (New York Stadium waz groond 322!) probably the one and anly time this will ever happen!


PPS: I paid the price of standin’ in the freezin’ conditions and still wasn’t reet by Xmas weekend!

Sorves me right yoo might say!?




Monday 19 December 2016

305 (revisited) pirelli stadium burton on trent

Ground number 305 (revisited)

Date of this visit: 17th December 2016
Pirelli Stadium, Burton on Trent

Burton Albion 1
Newcastle United 2 (Gayle, Diame)

EFL Championship
Attendance: 6,665 (1,600 Toon fans)

"Xmas puddin' jokes avoided!---JUST!"
1st half action az we attack the away end goal
(Toon in white)

Beleeeve it or not, we'd actually been here before in 2013 when wor U21 side were thrashed 6-2! by Aston Villa's U21s in a resorve leegue game---little thinkin' that we would ever be back here again, especially for a forst team game!---back then there were just 12 of us who had travelled doon from the north east in a 'crowd' of 222

The train trip doon waz uneventful and we arrived in Burton around aboot 11:30 bells' and heeded for a micro pub not far from the station caalled 'The Weighbridge'!

From there it waz off on the '2 mile route march' to the groond caalin' in at 'The Derby Inn' a mile doon the road to quensh wor thirsts once again!

We arrived at the ground in good time in case there were problems (when a small club gets a much bigger crowd than they normally de, sometimes its chaos to get in!)

Just like the Wigan game in the previous midweek we didn't play well but somehow managed to take aall 3 points against a team who thought that this waz their cup final!

Dwight Gayle opened the scorin' for us in the 15th minute with a neat back heel after a low cross from Richie foond hiz feet, but typically for us it didn't last lang and Burton produced an equaliser just 5 mins later to send their 5,000 fans into raptures!

A 2nd goal for us in the 35th minute when Diame slotted home after slippin' a defender waz enough to claim the points, but the 2nd half waz very scrappy with Burton gannin close on a few occasions with Karl Darlow in fine form to make a couple of great saves!
The Toon kick off the 2nd half

Not a game yoo would save to watch in future years!---that's for sure!, but we gan into Xmas week top of the Xmas tree and 9 points above 3rd place!
Roll on the new year!
A view to die for!---The optics in the private boxes behind the away seats!

After the match we made the lang trek back to the station a caught a train to Sheffield where a few celebratory drinks were consumed befor reboardin' the train back yem!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Hayden, Shelvey, Ritchie (Gouffran 85), Atsu, Diame, Gayle

The post match gargels took place in Sheffield!

Sheffield Tap --£5 a pint!



Friday 16 December 2016

251 (revisited) jjb stadium wigan

Ground number 251 revisited 

Date of this visit: 14th December 2016

JJB Stadium (its original name!) Wigan


Wigan Athletic 0

Newcastle United 2 (Diame, Atsu)


EFL Championship

Attendance: 14,562 (4,800 Toon fans)



This waz a scrappy performance under a full moon, which
hovered aboot above the groond, and Toon fans were definatly ‘ower the moon’ with this result, which takes us back to the top of the table by 1 point from Brighton, but more importantleee, NINE points above Reading in 3rd place (and with a goal difference of plus 27!)

The big breakthrough came in the 26th minute when Mo Diame played a one-two thre with Issac Hayden to welly the baall into the net in front of the Toon faithful to lift the roof off that end of the groond!

Up until this point the game had been dire az aa watched the full moon rise above the ground---(aa waz THAT bored with the proceedings on the pitch!)

If anything the 2nd half waz WORSE iz we failed miserably to add to wor score.

Wigan had chances to equalise and one shot in particular waz brilliantly saved by Karl Darlow in The Toon goal!

And then the decisive goal!

Gouffran ran doon the left flank and crossed the baall to (super sub) Atsu who hit a sweet left footer into the roof of the net to claim the 3 points and send us back to the top of the table!


Not a good game to watch---but it’s the points that matter!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie (Atsu 69), Shelvey, Hayden, Gouffran, Diame, Gayle (Perez 82)


The pre match ‘gargels’ took place here!




Thursday 15 December 2016


Posted 12:50pm bells Thorsday 15th December 2016


News reaches the (new) Geordie Times that wor under 23s game at Leek against Stoke U23s scheduled for tomorrow neet haz been moved at the last minute to Stoke's trainin' groond!

Thiz iz a dastardly deed az a'v taken a day of work to visit Leek az av nevaa been there before to watch The Toon!
I have of course been to Stoke's Clayton Wood trainin' groond before (in NEWCASTLE-under Lyme!) so will just gan 'on the hoy' in the Toon instead tomorrow afternoon! <(Xmas jumper Friday!)

This isn't the forst time that Stoke have done this to us and a letter of complaint signed on behalf of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' iz in the post aalready! (WITHOOT a Xmas card!)

The match report from last neets game in Wigan will not appear here til much later, az av got to gan to graft today---I'll have much more time to do it tomorrow of course!---won't I just!!!!

Sunday 11 December 2016


Posted '11:23am bells' Sunday 11th December 2016
GOUFFRAN GOAL! (Geordie Times excluuusive!)


A suburb hat-trick from Dwight Gayle put NUFC 'back on track' and back to the top of the Championship with a resoondin' fower-nil victory ower 'The Blue Noses' in front of wor biggest crowd of the season!

Goal one: A Diame cross iz heeded into the Gallowgate End net by Gayle in the 18th minute az we completlee dominate wor opponents!

Goal two: A deflected cross from Hayden finds the feet of Gayle and from 3 yards oot he haz the simple task of slottin' the baall into the net after 24 minutes on the clock!

Goal three (2nd half): Goofy Gouffran gets in on the act just 3 mins after the restart to slot home an easy chance at The Leazes End after Gayle had fluffed a good chance!

Goal fower: Shelvey pulls the baall back across the box and Dwight Gayle fires home with 8 mins left on the clock to seeel the victory and 3 points!
"WE'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!" (The Leazes corner celebrates wor win!)

Brummie fans have a song which gans: "Keep right on til the end of the road!"---perhaps they shud adopt a new song: "This iz the road to HELL!", after their capitulation at SJP in front of their 3,000 plus travellin' fans!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey, Hayden (Laasar 81), Gouffran (Atsu 69), Diame, Gayle (Mitrovic 78)

Attendance: 52,145 (3,100 Brummies!)

Tuesday 6 December 2016


Posted '1:45pm bells' Tuesday 6th December 2016

It's been a month since aa started this new blog az aa couldn't renew the old one ( despite tryin' for ower THREE WEEKS!

I then got an e mail tellin' me that it would cost me $95 to renew when the old price waz $15!

Az aa'd made nothin' whatsoever from that blog aa decided to gan back to 'Blogspot' which iz FREE!

I am still tryin' to work oot just how to download some of my old stuff from there to my new blog---but it isn't eazy---aa can tell yiz.!

I have managed to download a 'classic' tale' from a qwaataa of a century ago (see below) and will endeavour to download the rest (eventually!)

I had exactly 888 hits in mee forst month to add to the 241,856 aa had with my old blog----Not bad for a brand new website, but I've still lost some 3,000 pageviews az followers obviousleee gan to my old site! (which iz doon!)
Tell everyone yoo know that The (NUFC) Geordie Times iz alive and kickin'


Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)  

Sunday 4 December 2016

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB 2 THE TOON 1 *** EFL 2016 20127

Posted '10:49am bells' Sunday 4th December 2016


The jorney doon waz uneventful (for a change!) and we had to change at Newark to continue wor jorney to Nottingham.
The walk between Newark Northgate station and Newark Central iz aboot 20 minutes and (az yi de!) there waz time for a quick pint of liquid lubrication in a boozer near to the station!

It waz my torn for the drinkx and aa spotted a very expensive bar near some traffic lights (see photo below!) and heeded there!

It waz actually £1 for a half, but at just £1.50 for a pint it waz still a bargain, especially az mee drinkin' partner 'Big Al' < (not the sheet metal workers son!) had paid nearly £10 for 2 pints in Hadrians 'Wigwam Bar' (see photo below) next to the Central Station in The Toon before we departed!

It waz then onward to Robin Hood Country and a boozer aboot a 20 minute walk from The City Groond called 'The Vat and Fiddle'.
PS: This iz NOT a spelin' missteak--The pub used to be called 'The CAT and Fiddle, but rumour haz it that the pub cat climbed into a vat of beer in the cellar and met a very drunken end!---Hence the name change!
The VAT and Fiddle

ANYWAY!---After several liquid lubrications here it waz time to heed for the ground across the river Trent from the city centre.

We had been allocated just 2,002 tickets for this one and just like at Hull a few days orlier there were thoosands of empty seats in the home sections! (ie: they both thought that they could sell aall there remainin' tickets to their own fans!)

We started off the better side and went for the 'jugular', but the ref--a certain Steve Martin waz havin' non of it and he sent Shelvey off in the 33rd minute for retaliation to bein' kicked by a Forest player!---The Forest player stayed ON the pitch while Shelvey went for an orly bath!

A penalty waz awarded because of this, which waz brilliantly saved by Darlow and just a few minites later the 10 men took the lead at The Trent End when Ritchie scored bang on half time!
(Clark had orlier had a porfectlee good goal chalked off for ne apparent reason)
Again, thr ref waz havin' non of this and imminently after the goal he awarded the home side ANOTHAA penalty and sent Paul Dummett off, when a bookin' waz more appropriate!
AGAIN---Karl Darlow guessed right and saved brilliantly to deny the ref and Forest an equaliser.

The 2nd half waz aalways gannin to be a 'backs to the waall' defensive effort from us, but with anly 9 men left Forest made the breakthrough and levelled things in the 52 minute through Bendtner!
We managed to 'haad on' til the 85th minute when Lascelles put through hiz own goal to give 'The Friar Tuck Mob' and undeserved victory!--    "2-1 to the referee!"   

Verdict: Robin Hood iz alive and well and now gans under the alias of Steve Martin, 'cr*p futbaall referee'?
A porfectleee good goal disallowed ---Two sendins off for us and two penalties awarded because of this, ultimately seeled wor fate az the 9 men played a desperate defensive formation!


Toon team: Darlow, Lascelles, Yedlin, Clark, Dummett, Hayden, Shelvey, Ritchie, Gouffran (Diame 77), Perez (Anita 46), Gayle (Mitrovic 87)

Attendance: just 21,317 (2,002 Toon fans) This iz 7,000 below the groonds capacity --but of course, (like Hull at 8,000 below capacity), they wouldn't sell us any more tickets!---
Taak aboot cuttin' your nose off to spite your face!!!!!


Wednesday 30 November 2016

THE TIGER LILLYS 1 THE TOON 1 (3-1 to HULL on penalties) *** EFL CUP QWAATAA FINAL 2016 2017

Updated '1:35pm bells' Thorsday 1st December 2016


NUFC put in wor most inept performance of the season in this qwaataa final Leegue Cup tie in Hull!

It waz obvious from the word 'go' that this waz a game likely to gan to extra time and penalties az both team put in abysmal performances!

Misplaced passes, shots way ower the bar and off target were the norm for this game az we froze to death on the terraces of 'The KC' for 2 and a half hours, wishin' we were actually at work!

Even when Hull had a player sent off late in normal time we couldn't find a way through until extra time waz played!
In the 8th minute of et we eventually made the breakthrough when Diame poked the baall home from close range to send the near 3,000 Toon fans wild with delight az the players celebrated in front of us!
THIS!---waz short lived to say the least az the home side equalised less than a minute later az the dreaded penalty shoot out loomed!

Shelvey took the forst one, but he'd played badly and az he ran up to take it I just knew that he would miss!---and he DID az their keeper dived to the right to save it!
Hull scored their forst one and then Gayle hit the bar for us!
Wor aanly successful kick came from Atsu, but Hull scored again--meanin' that if Gouffran missed then we were oot!
Their goalie saved hiz spot kick az well az the home fans celebrated!
Ne silverware in this competition for us (again!), but this waz definateleee a 'reality check' and if this team waz in the top flight we would surely struggle!

Forest away on Friday neet iz next up for us, but PLEEEZE can we try a bit harder or else the wheels of the bandwagon will faall off!

Toon team: Sels, Anita (Yedlin 109), Lascelles, Clark, Laazar, Hayden (Murphy 105), Shelvey, Richie (Atsu 80), Gouffran, Diame, Gayle

Attendance: 16,243 (2,500 Toon fans) <(they wouldn't give us any more tickets and the groond waz 8,000 below capacity!

PS: Thanx for readin' mee new blog!

Sunday 27 November 2016

THE TOON 0 BLACKBORN (Venky Chicken ) ROVAAZ 1 *** EFL 2016 2017

Posted '11:16am bells' Sunday 27th November 2016

"BLACK Saturday follows BLACK Friday against-----BLACKborn!!!"

A BLACK day indeed for the 50,000 plus Toon Army who had assembled @ HQ to witness wor 10th win in a row!
BUT!--this IZ! NUFC and we have said many many times before that we are the most likely team in futbaall to shoot worsels in the foot when a certain win looks on the cards!

From the start wor visitors attacked the Gallowgate goal az we defended frantically---it waz gannin to be 'one of those days' aa thought az me and grandson Jamie froze in the stands!

Rafa the Gaffa had made several changes from the Leeedz game and this time it backfired on him!
And we went in at the break thankful that we were still on level torms!

The 2nd half waz a bit better for us az we tried in vain to get the aall important forst goal and several good chances were missed!

And then 'disaster'!---with just 15 minutes left on the clock Rovaaz got the 'breakthrough when Mulgrew volleyed home from a corner to put the visitors in front.

Despite a few good chances after this from us and great saves from their keeper, 'it wasn't to be' and it waz the smaall contingent of Blackborn fans in level 7 of The Leazes End who were celebratin' and not us!

Anothaa BLACK weekend for aall Tynesiders!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Mbemba (Gayle 84), Clark, Gamez (Dummett 54), Richie, Shelvey, Atsu, Hayden, Perez, Mitrovic

Attendance: 52, 092 (just 1,600 Rovaaz fans!)