Monday, 30 September 2019

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 5 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '2:45pm bells' Munday 30th September 2019
"SOMEWHERE NEAR STAMFORD STATION!"

"THE STAMFORD CHAINSAW MASSACRE!"

A train to Peterboro at '8:55am bells' from 'The Central' and then onward to Lestaa from there, woz wor preferred route for this game!--A train strike had thankfully been caalled off just 2 days before and we were hopin' for a 'hassle free' jorney to Lestaa and back, az wor previous 3 train trips had numerous mishaps!
We had a quick 'gargel' in here, opposite |Peterboro station,
before catchin' the next train to Lestaa



THE HIND, opposite Lestaa station

We arrived in good time and heeded across the road from the station for the forst 'liquid lubrications' of the day! (Not includin' 4 cans of Woodpecker on the train on the way doon!---plus the short stopover at Peterboro)

It woz then onward to wor 'fave haunt' roond theeze parts, which woz The Regent Club on the way to the groond!
We left the club anly to find that the rain woz porin doon and were in 2 minds to get a taxi to the ground which woz a 15 minute walk away!----We foolishly decided to walk and by the time we were halfway there we were liked drowned rats!-----A taxi woz passin and so we flagged it doon in deseration, to take us to az near to the away end az possible!
VIEW FROM ROW 'M', SEAT 382, IN THE AWAY SECTION

NUFC started off OK and we attacked the end where wor fans were, but it soon became evident that this woz 'a flash in the pan' az Lestaa went for 'the jugular' az the incessant rain poured doon!

The deadlock woz broken in the 16th minute when Perreira strode through wor defence and fired in a shot which beat Dubravka in the Toon goal az it hit the corner of the net!
We lost wor shape after this and in the 43rd minute Hayden woz given hiz marchin orders with a bad tackle on Praet and we were doon to 10 men for the rest of the game!
DARK SKIES AND TORRENTIAL RAIN!

We were terrible in the 2nd period and it woz nee suprize when The Basil Brush Brigade went on the rampage!

4 2nd half goals 'sunk us withoot trace' az the torrential rain poured doon!----The worst performance here since aa forst went to their old abode in nearby Filbert Street in the orly 1970s!

The dreaded 'R' word iz now a real possibility az we sit 2nd bottom of the table with just one (lucky) win at Sporz after 7 games played!

After the match it had thankfully stopped rainnin' and we heeded back to The Regent Club for a quick gargle before catchin the train back to Peterboro!
The plan woz to have a few pints there before heedin yem--BUT! az we were in Oakham station an announcement came ower the trains tannoy!
"THERE'S A TREE BLOCKING THE LINE JUST BEFORE STAMFORD STATION AND WE ARE STUCK HERE UNTIL IT IS MOVED!" (Yi couldn't make it up!) (Now we know why they call this a 'BRANCH' line (sic!)

After 30 more minutes and the clock 'tickin' to catch wor connection back from Peterboro, anothaa announcement came ower the tannoy!

"RAIL WORKERS ARE AT THIS MOMENT CUTTING THE TREE UP WITH CHAINSAWS AND HOPEFULLY WE WILL SOON BE ON OUR WAY!" (The Stamford chainsaw massacre, perhaps!) (With 'massacre' refferin' to wor heavy defeat!)
But it woz too late by this time to catch wor connection and we finally rolled into Peterboro station just az the 125 train to The Toon woz leavin' on anothaa platform! (We'd obviously chosen the wrang 'root' from Lestaa! (double sic!)

We were stuck there for anothaa hour and after a few 'gargels' in a hostelry nearby, we eventually caught the '11:00 bells' train instead 
THE BREWERY TAP, PETERBORO

---arriving back on Tyneside at 12:40am bells' on Sunday mornin'!--some 6 hours after leavin Lestaa!---The FOURTH time in a row that we have suffered disruption on the trains to away games!
Chelski in London iz wor next Premyaa Leegue train jorney away----wot can possibly gan wrang this time??????

Toon team: (who didn't torn up!) Dubravka, Krafth, Dummett, Lascelles, Schar, Hayden, Saun Longstaff, Almiron (Yedlin 74), Atsu, Joelinton (Carroll 63), Muto (Ki 45)

Attendance: 32,168 (2,650 Toon fans who sang their hearts oot in the 2nd half--despite the scoreline!---they don't deserve us!)


Footnote: Lestaa'z nickname iz 'The Foxes', Basil Brush iz a fox, hence 'The Basil Brush Brigade'! (get it?) "Boom!-Boom!"

PS: 'Broken Nose Bruce's odds at bein the forst Premyaa Leegue manager to be sacked have been slashed from 14/1 to 4/1
*

THIS BANNER IN THE AWAY END, SEZ IT AALL!

Saturday, 28 September 2019

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '2:55pm bells' Saturday 28th September 2019

We heed for the delights of The Walkers 'Crisp' Stadium (aka Kingpower) where we are aimin' for a '3rd win on the spin' here!

Andy Carroll, Sean Longstaff, St Maximin and Yedlin are aall available, but Shelvey is knackered!

NUFC have sold wor allocation of 2,650 tickets, which is 300 less than we were allocated last season?
(More demand from Lestaa fans nee doubt!

We are on an orly train in the mornin and hopefully there are nee problems like wor last 3 away trips by train!(A planned rail strike for Sunday haz been called off!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Munday!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Friday, 27 September 2019

"IT'S JUST LIKE BREXIT!"

Posted '3:19pm bells' Friday 27th September 2019
46 PAGES OF 'INACCCURATE' 'DROSS'! ðŸ˜ī

News that yet anothaa NUFC takeower iz deein the roonds haz reached The Geordie Times HQ!

Peter Kenyon's name haz been bandied aboot (again!) az he iz said to be frontin' an American consortium aboot buyin NUFC from 'The Fat Controller'!
THE MAIN 'PLAYERS'

An inaccurate glossy brochure haz been produced, claimin' that NUFC have won major honours this century (The Inter Toto Cup!) and have been in the top flight of English futbaall 87 oot of the last 89 years? (22 years have actually been spent ootside the top flight in that time!)
It aalso 'boasts' that we won The Charity Shield 110 years ago! ("WOW!")

Amazingly it aalso it says that 'Broken Nose Bruce' will be retained az heed coach, due to hiz unparalled success in Europe? (He haz just once  qualified for Europe az a manager/heed coach, when Hull appeared in The Europa Leegue after finishin' runners up in the FA Cup in 2014  (They lost to Belgian club Lokeren in a play off roond!) (Iz this wot yoo caall 'unparalled European success'???)

'We', the fed up fans, will be last to know of any takeower, of course---and like it said in the 'brochure', we take it aall with 'a cynical pinch of salt'!---just like BREXIT!---"ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!!!!!"ðŸ˜ī

Thursday, 26 September 2019

FEEL THE STRAIN AND TAKE THE TRAIN!

Posted '3:00pm bells' Wedinzday 25th September 2019
Updated '1:40pm bells' Thorsday

News that there iz to be train disruption yet again for Toon fans travellin' to Lestaa on Sunday, haz reached 'The Geordie Times'!
Industrial strike action meenz that 'Cross Country' iz cuttin' sorvices which will affect certain trains!

This will be the FOURTH time in the FOUR away games we have played so far this season, where wor travel plans will have been disrupted!

Away day one---Nohrich: Industrial action by RTM workers on the 'Peterborough to Nohrich line', meant that we had to get SIX trains to Norfolk and back!

Away day two---Sporz: With King's Cross in London closed for improvements and nee train from Peterborough to London on the 'East Coast line', we were forced to drive to Stockport near Manchester and get a 'West Coast line' train to Euston in London---and dee the same on the retorn jorney!

Away day three---The Liverbirds: We had a direct train to Liverpool--BUT!!!-- the train developed a major fault and we were forced to get off at Manchester and wait for half an hour to catch a 2nd train to Lime Street! (in Liverpool) (wastin' valuable drinkin' time in the process!) 

Away day four---Lestaa:
A train strike on Sunday by 'Cross Country' trains workers, meenz that wor travel plans will be disrupted yet again, az there iz a severely reduced sorvice and we will just have to 'play it by ear' to get there and back!

"ARE WE JINXED---OR WOT!???"

*Updated on Thorsday


Followin huge pressure from The Geordie Times the train strike haz been caalled off!
So yoo have us to thank us for this 'U' turn!

Tuesday, 24 September 2019

"THERE MAY BE TROUBLE AHEAD!"

Posted '2:44pm bells' Tuesday 24th September 2019
"HELLO!---NUFC TICKET OFFICE!---
CAN I PURCHASE 50 TICKETS FOR 
'THE DURHAM REDS'--ER!-'MAGS', PLEASE!"


*"DOUBLE (TROUBLE!) STANDARDS!"

News that tickets have been put on general sale for wor game with Moan United on Sunday 6th October, tells yoo everything aboot the low attendances so far this season, az many fans boycott games!

Moan U, az usual, have sold their entire allocation of 3,100 away tickets, but now any fan of any club who possesses a mobile "telling bone" can now purchase tickets in any othaa parts of the groond, because of low ticket sales in the home sections!

Personal callers can also purchase tickets from the NUFC ticket office and az there are a canny few Moan U gloryhunter fans who live in the north east, there are bound to be quite a few of their fans in the home sections!--which in turn, will ignite trouble shud they score forst!

When we played 'The Liverbirds' on the last day of last season, their fans infiltrated the home sections and trouble broke oot when they scored, despite sales to NUFC fans only!

Toon fans were told that if they sold their ticket to them, they would be banned and lose their season tickets---yet because we are now so desperate to fill thoosands of empty seats, any 'Tom, Dick or Moan U fan', can now buy them!
A disgraceful 'double standards' decision from NUFC!

Below is a letter from fans protest group, 'ToonForChange', to the ticket office manager Stephen Tickle <(no! this isn't a typing error), which woz sent yesterday, when tickets went on general sale!
This iz no laughing matter, Mr 'Tickle'!!!

*And one ticket website iz offerin' 339 tickets for sale to anybody who haz 'the bit' to buy them! (at extorshanit prices!)----
A few for the away end, but most for the home sections!


*

Monday, 23 September 2019

FA CUP 3rd QUALIFYIN' ROOND DRAW!

Posted '4:50pm bells' Munday 23rd September 2019

The draw for the FA Cup 3rd qualifyin' roond woz made at dinnatime today and we can tell yoo that the anly local team to be drawn at home are 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, who will play eethaa Colne or Ossett Toon at Federation Park (aka UTS Stadium) on Saturday October 5th!
The good news iz that NUFC don't play til the followin' day against Moan U at SJP, so a good crowd iz expected (600-700) (including 'little old me') Admission will be £7 for big kids and £4 for sprogs and zimmerframeites (like me!)

Othaa local teams wornt so lucky in the draw and Morpeth must travel to Nantwich, The Spartans of Blyth are away to Hedensford IF they can beat Curzon Ashton in a replay, 'Anymore for' Spennymoor' are at Ashton United and Gatesheed must travel to Kidsgrove (nee kiddin'!)

"STATING THE BLINDINGLEEE OBVIOUS!"

Posted '11:08am bells' Munday 23rd September 2019

'Broken Nose Bruce' came oot with the followin' statement after wor horror show against Brightin on Saturday:

"The only thing we can try to do is to win games!" (dire 0-0 draw)
"We understand that!" (pathetic performance!)
"We'll try!" (must try harder, Steve!)

"It's the only way you can try to get people back!" (The anly way yoo will get people back iz if we get rid of YOO and wor 'beloved owner'? 'The Fat Controller'!)

Aboot the 'alledged' attendance of 43,000 (more like 40,000) "The way to try and get a few people back is to win matches!" 
(1 win in 7 games! and none  in 4 at SJP (includin' the penalty shootout defeat v Lestaa in The Leegue Cup!)

Bruce, on team bein' boood off
"I can understand the frustration. Against a decent Brighton side!"  (Brightin!---a 'decent side'? who haven't won since the forst day of the season!)

Lets get something straight!---99.9% of NUFC fans reeely DO want Bruce to succeed---we reeeely DO!---But 99.9% of us didn't want him in the forst place! az hiz track record (below) speaks volumes of hiz past managerial abilities!---or lack of them!


'Broken Nose Bruce's Premyaa Leegue percentage win record at NUFC iz now!----16.67% (1 win in 6 games)

Hiz record for managers with 200 games or more in The Premyaa Leegue iz ZERO trophies, 3 relegations, (Hull and Bormingham, plus he woz sacked by the mackems before they went doon!)
He's had 111 wins in 398 games, which gives him an oweraall percentage win rate of!----27.8---anly 'bettered' by Bryan Robson who managed a percentage win rate of just 26.8 
<*(ie: 'Brucey' iz catchin' 'Robbo' up fast for 'the wooden spoon trophy'!)

Sunday, 22 September 2019

THE TOON 0 NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:30am bells' Sunday 22nd September 2019
ANDY CARROLL EVENTUALLY COMES ON IN THE 81st MINUTE (near touchline) 

"ZZZZzzzz!"

This woz one of the worst first half performances ever seen by a Toon team at SJP yesterday teatime!
The anly efforts of note came half way through the half when Almiron burst through Brightin's defence, but shot straight at their goalie to deny him hiz forst ever Toon goal in 15 games of tryin'! (Or is it 16?) 
And then just before the break £40 million man Joelinton heeded wide when it looked easier to score! (he haz scored just 1 goal in 6 starts, now!)
We had 'nee shape' az the away team pounded The Gallowgate goal in the openin' exchanges and indeed throughout the half!

NUFC were very lucky indeed to gan in level at the break, after 'Nee Where Near' Brightin spurned several chances to take the lead and there were loud boos at the end of the half! (their groond iz miles away in the countryside--hence 'Nee Where Near'!)

The first half of the second half woz just the same and things anly changed when 'Broken Nose Bruce' belatedly brought on 2 subs in the 73rd minute!----Namely, St Maximin and Ki who both changed the game instantly az we attacked The Gallowgate goal!
Schar then brilliantly 'acrobatically' cleared a shot from the goaline at The Leazes End late on to deny Brightin the goal they undoubtedly deserved!

'The Gatesheed Angel' Andy Carroll finally got onto the pitch in the 81st minute to the loudest cheer of the match, with chants of, "He's one of our own!", from the Toon faithful!

He had a couple of chances, but couldn't find the net and yet another stalemate against relegation fodder woz the outcome!

The team woz boooed off at full time as well, but the boos wornt az loud az at the end of the first half---indicatin' that we had played slightly better near the end!
Small comfort for the 'alledged' 43,000 crowd!

With a trio of games against teams near the top to come soon (Lestaa, Moan U and Chelski), things are lookin' bleak to say the least!

Stats: We have never scored against Brightin in the top flight at home in 3 attempts and haven't beaten them in 5 attempts home or away!

Possession woz 20/80 in wor visitors favour, which just aboot sums it up!

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Schar, Lascelles, Dummett, Willems (Carroll 81), Almiron (St. Maximin 73), Hayden, Shelvey (Ki 73), Atsu, Joelinton

Attendance: 43, 316? (including 1,300 away fans)
It looked a lot less than 43,000 and season ticket holders who didn't torn up were still included in the attendance!

*PS: The Geordie Times pageviews have been much lower than usual----a result of negative (but true) reports by 'us', nee doubt!

Saturday, 21 September 2019

THE TOON V NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN *** TEATIME KICK OFF

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 21st September 2019
VIEW OF ST. JAMES' PARK,  THE CHINGKEEZ ARCH (right)
AND THE CITY WALLS (left)
FROM THE NEW BEER GARDEN AT 'ROSIE'S BAR'!

*WE face a six pointer (wot!---aall ready?) when we play Brightin this evenin' in anothaa live telly game at '5:30 bells'!
NUFC are in the bottom 3 az we speak, while wor visitors sit just one place and one point above us!
In the 4 Premyaa Leegue games that we have played against them, we have failed to win any!

Wor lowest Premyaa Leegue home crowd for 9 years iz predicted (41,053 v Bleakburn Rovers in 2010) az the boycott carries on against wor beloved? owner 'The Fat Controller'!
'The Nee Where Near Brightin Brigade' (coz their groond iz 'nee where near Brightin') have sold 1,500 tickets, while home sales are 10,000 doon because of the boycott! ( 'The Fat Controller' iz aalso predicted to boycott the game az well!---self inflicted wounds, perhaps?)

Andy Crockodile Carroll (remember him?) iz said to make hiz comeback, provided that he doesn't pick up anothaa injury in the pre match handshakes!

We reeely must win this or else we are in for a very hard winter again, with games against 'The Basil Brush Brigade 'of Lestaa, Moan Utd and Chelski on the horizon!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here az usual sometime on Sunday!

Friday, 20 September 2019

SCUNTHORPE'S SCANDALOUS SCULDUGGERY SCUPPERS SADDOS!

Posted '5:305m bells' Friday 20th September 2019 😭
"NO GO FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!"

"BOTTESFORD BOTCH UP!"😭😰😭

Devastatin' news haz reached 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' this evenin'!
For wor planned NUFC U23s Premyaa Leegue Cup tie v Scunthorpe U23s haz been switched from Bottesford Toon FCs groond to Scunthorpe's main stadium at Glanford Park (now known az The Sands Venue Stadium)

NUFC have played here before of course in 'The Championship', but we have NEVER been to Scunthorpe U23s Birkdale Park groond in nearby Bottesford! (where they normally play U23 games!)

WE ARE ABSOLUTLEEE DEVISTATED! and a planned massive protest march iz contemplated by angry 'Toonhopper fans' to St. James' Park on Sunday, via the nearby Strawberry Pub!----AALL 7 OF US!

Thursday, 19 September 2019

TELLY DATES FOR NOVEMBER AT LAST!

Posted '4:22pm bells' Thorsday 19th September 2019

"I DON'T LIKE MUNDAYS!"

Just 4 days later than promised, 2 of NUFCs 4 games in November haz been changed for live telly!

And they are the away game v The Hazbeenz and Villains on a dreaded Munday neet---and the home game v 'The Blue Moonies' of Manchester brought forward for a Saturday dinnatime kick off!

The away game at Villa Park will be wor FOURTEENTH consecutive away game on a Munday night!---Nee wonder we divvint like Mundays!😎

Saturday 2nd November at '3:00 bells':  'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham, away (unchanged)

Saturday 9th November at '3:00 bells': Bournemoooth at SJP (unchanged)

Munday 25th November at '8:00 bells': 'The Hazbeenz and Villains', away (SKY)


Saturday 30th November at '12:30 bells': 'The Blue Moonies' of Manchester at SJP (BT)


*

"IT'S LIKE TRYIN' TO GET BLOOD OOT OF A STONE!"

Posted '2:55pm bells' Thorsday 19th September 2019
Updated '3:45pm bells'
THE ROY WEST CENTRE, HULL---
BUT WILL 'THE NUFC MAD_SAD GROUNDHOPPERS' GET THIS GROOND
TO ADD TO WOR 'LIST'?

After 4 days of deafenin' silence there iz still nee word aboot live telly games for November, despite promises that they would be announced on Munday (or Tuesday--dependin' on reports!)

Meeenwhile wor U23 Cup dates for The Premier Leegue Cup have been announced, withoot conformed venues--yet!
We have trawled the websites of both Hull and Scunthorpe to see exactly where wor away games against them will be played, but there iz nowt on them so far!
We are hopin' that the Hull away game takes place at The Roy West Centre in Hull (nufc.com says it iz) and that wor away game v Scunny takes place at Birkdale Park the home of Bottesford Toon FC ---2 groonds that we have never been tee!

Aalso the away U23 game at West Brom orly next year could take place at Hedensford Toon FC, aalthough wor Premyaa Leegue 2 away game against them next week, will take place at their trainin groond, behind closed doors!
BIRKDALE PARK, BOTTESFORD---BUT WILL NUFC U23s PLAY HERE?

The dates are az follows, with new groonds to visit---allegedly!

Premyaa Leegue Cup Group 'C'

Friday 4th October: Hull U23s away at The Roy West Centre?

Friday 8th November: West Brom U23s at home---but where exactly?? (3 possibilities--SJP, Whitley Park or Little Benton Academy)

Friday 29th November: Scunthorpe U23s away at Birkdale Park or Scunny's main groond???

Friday 17th January: Hull U23s at home at ????

Munday 10th February: West Brom U23s away at ?????

Friday 21st February: Scunthorpe U23s at home at ??????

We will of course update yoo, when we find oot 'where the hell' the games are definitely bein' played!

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

TELLY TIMES FOR NOVEMBER TO BE ANNOONCED VERY SOON!--ALLEDGEDLY!

Posted '3:57pm bells' Munday 16th September 2019
Updated '4:01pm bells' Tuesday

The telly times for November are/were! to be conformed eethaa later today or tomorrow---we are are not sure when?
'nufc.com' says today and 'The Ronny-Gill' says tomorrow?

It iz now 'tomorrow' and its '4 bells' in the afternoon--and STILL nee news of any November fixture changes!
Why the hell do they tell us that TV games will be announced---and then deafly silence????

There are 4 Saturday games that could be moved ---and they are:
'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham away on 2nd November
Bournemoooth at SJP on 9th November
'The Hazbeenz and Villains' away on 23rd November
'The Blue Moonies' of Manchester at SJP on 30th November 

'The Geordie Times' will of course bring yooo---wor loyal subjects--- any changes, when we (eventually!) find oot---alang with U23 fixture dates/times/ venues in The Premyaa Leegue Cup, due to be played between October and February and The FA Youth Cup 3rd roond due to be played in December!

Az per usual--"Watch this space!"---"ZZZZzzzz!!!!"ðŸ˜ī

Sunday, 15 September 2019

THE LIVERBIRDS 3 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:44am bells' Sunday 15th September 2019
VIEW FROM ROW 19, SEAT 66, AZ THE TOON 
ATTACK THE ANFEEELD ROAD END!
("GET YOUR KICKS IN SEAT 66!")

After draggin' mee lifeless body oot of 'mee pit' at the ungodly hour of '4:30am bells', it woz off in a taxi to 'The Central' to catch the '6:03 bells' Cross Pennines' train to 'Mickey Mouse Land'!


The train had a major fault and we were told that we had to get off at Manchester Victoria and catch anothaa train to Liverpoool Lime Street station!

This meant that we didn't get there til '9:30 bells' (instead of 9) and we heeded straight for 'The Ship and Mitre', which iz a 5 minute waalk from Lime Street to down the forst 'real ale liquid lubrications' and get some 'scran'

After a 2 hour 'binge' it woz time to heed for wor expected 'punishment' at Anfeeeld, which iz 3 mles away in the suburbs of Liverpoool!
THE LANG QUEUE FOR THE FUTBAALL SPECIAL!
('ESPECIALLY' IF IT MAKES YOO MISS THE KICK OFF!)

We decided to wait for the 'soccer special' which went to the groond---and waited---and waited-----and waited!--in the lang queues for the busses!
After a half hour wait we finally boarded one at '12:05 bells' and heeded to wor destination and the '12:30 bells' kick off---Unfortunately, because of heavy traffic we got there late and missed the forst 4 minutes of the match! (must remember to get a taxi next time---for certain!)
JETRO'S GOAL ON 'MATCH OF THE DAY'!---NOT JAMAAL'S!

It wasn't lang for the forst goal, which woz scored by 'US'---a brilliant right footer from Jetro Willems from just inside the box, just 3 minutes after wor arrival, to send the 3,000 Toon fans into unexpected joy in 'The Anfeeeld Road End'!
(For some reason the scoreboard said that Jamaal Lascelles had scored?)
VIEW OF THE 'SPOT THE TOURIST STAND'!

Wor 'joy' woz short lived however, az 'The European champions' equalised when Dubravka in the Toon goal failed to collect a shot from Mane and hiz 'fumble' allowed Mane to put the baall into an empty net to 'waken up' the home crowd, who had been very quiet up until this point!
VIEW OF THE QUIET KOP!

The 2nd goal from The Liverbirds woz even worse when Krafth lost the baall and the resultin' attack led to anothaa goal against, time from Mane again, with a shot across the box in the 40th minute!

It woz 'backs to the waall' in the 2nd period and The Liverbirds finally sealed the victory through Salah, who beat Dubravka from close in! 
Before that Krafth had blazed a shot high ower the bar into The Kop when he woz unmarked---and opportunity missed that we paid dearly for!
KRAFTH IZ UNMARKED, BUT BLAZES HIZ SHOT OWER THE BAR!

The Anfeeeld crowd and especially The Kop, were the quietest I can remember in visits gannin back nearly 51 years!---A partial result of 'futbaaal tourism' and thoosands of home fans with 'non Scouse' accents, 'back packs' and brand new red and white scarves, who wernt born anywhere near Liverpoool--for certain, 'gave it away', ootside the groond and in the city centre before and after the game!)

It woz then back to 'The Ship' for somemore 'gargels' before catchin' the 4:30 bells' train back to The Toon! (amazingly, the train didn't break doon on the way back!)

The loss took us to the edge of the relegation zone once again in 17th place--and we feel that that's where we will be, come the end of the season (hopefully not in 18th place or lower!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Krafth (Manquillo 67), Schar (Fernandez 80), Lascelles, Dummett, Willems, Hayden, Shelvey, Atsu, Amiron (Muto 67), Joelinton

Attendance: 51,430 (includin' 3,000 Toon fans and a canny few 'tourists'!)

*Stats: With just 1 win in 5, 'Broken Nose Bruce's win percentage iz now 20%! 
  



Thursday, 12 September 2019

THE LIVERBIRDS v THE TOON **** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted '3:11pm bells' Thorsday 12th September 2019

On Saturday at the ungodly hour of '4:30am bells' we must drag worsels oot of bed to catch the '6:03 bells' train to Liverpoool for wor game at Anfield, which kicks off at '12:30 bells' for live telly!

We have sold wor entire allocation of 3,000 tickets for 'The Anfield Road End' and the game iz a complete selloot!

Sean Longstaff suffered a freak injury in trainin' and torned hiz ankle---so he wont be in the squad!

NUFC are odds on favourites to lose of course!, with odds of 22/1 to win---while 'The Liverbirds' are 1/7 on to win!
They haven't lost a Premyaa Leegue game at home for TWO AND A HALF YEARS! ( April 2017) This consists of 32 wins and 10 draws!
NUFC haven't won there for 24 years!---A 1-0 win in The Leegue Cup in 1995---and its 26 years we won there in The Premyaa Leegue in the 1993-94 season---That's 23 times in a row since we last won --losin 19 times a drawin 4 times---So that's an easy 3 points for 'us' then!

It iz nearly 51 years since aa forst set foot in Anfield, where NUFC lost 2-1 in October 1968---and so av 'dug up' the archive report from that game aall those years ago and have published it below
(ground number 003)


003 anfield liverpool


GROUND NUMBER 3

Date of First Visit: 26th OCTOBER 1968

ANFIELD, LIVERPOOL


LIVERPOOL 2 

NEWCASTLE UNITED 1 (Tommy Gibb)



(OLD) DIVISION ONE

ATTENDANCE 45,323 (3,000 Toon fans)






"SHE LOVES YOU!, YEAH! YEAH!YEAH!"                                   




Anfield!, The Kop!, The Beatles!. This was mee forst ‘lang distance away game’ followin’ ‘The Toon’ as a young schoolboy (at least aa! thought it was a lang way!) and aa caught the supporters club coach from Morden Street in The Haymarket at ‘six bells’ (there were ne motorways up here in them days, so yi had to leave orly!) for the princely sum of 12 shillings and sixpence!. (60 odd pence in todays money!)

(The anly other groonds a’d been te at the time were St James’ Park of course and the away derby at ‘yee naa where’!)



The Beatles were in their heyday and the Scousers used tih sing their songs on The Kop, while everyone of them seemed tih be wearin' a suit 'n' tie---and not a futbaall top in sight!?.


However!---there WERE hundreds of home made flags and banners nailed ontih sticks, wavin’ in The Kop. (one of which looked liked a bed sheet which waz probably ‘half inched’ from some poor mutha’s bed?) (OR!---from some poor wifey’s washin’ line!) 



Add that tih the thoosands of scarf wavers and the whole end looked like a ‘sea of red’ az they swayed from side tih side singin’: ‘She loves you yeah! yeah! yeah!’, amongst other classics (Quite a sight!)


There were a canny few Toon fans in the Anfield Road end wavin’ THEIR scarves iz well, singin’ ‘The Blaydon Races’ in reply (although!, ah did’nt spot any ‘bed sheet nickers’ from wor lot!) and they mixed freely with the Liverpool fans.

(Ne crowd segregation in them days!)


A’v got to say that aa was very impressed with Anfield at the time as it had cover on aall fower sides. (a rarity in the 60’s) To wor left was the Kemlyn Road Stand which had a roof that sloped doonwards so as not to block the light from the terraced hooses in the street behind.  The main stand to wor right had a barrel shaped roof not unlike the West Stand at the Toon and it had a gable at the front with the clubs name on it painted in bright red.  The Kop opposite was huge and held more than half the groonds capacity and in keepin’ had a huge roof to cover it. Wor end was aboot a thord of the Kops size and the roof covered three qwaatas  of the terraces.



If ah remember rightly, it cost the princely sum of two bob tih get in (ten pence!) and the match programme (which ah still have today gatherin’ dust somewhere in mee loft!) cost 9d, which in todays money is aboot three and a half pence!

(Aye!---it meks iz feel quite ancient!---pass mee zimmer frame!)



The Toon went ahead after 21 minutes, when Alan Foggon centred the baall tih Tommy Gibb, who's spectacular shot hit the back of the net, givin' Liverpool keeper Tommy Lawrence ne chance.



(This was the Toons forst---and last!---shot of the game!)



Wor lead was short lived however, when the 'Scousers' levelled the score two minutes later, when teenage sensation Alun Evens vollyed home.

The noise of the crowd waz unbelievable and ah can remember coverin’ mee lugs with mee hands az a loud shrill like sound enveloped the whole groond!

(Not unlike the reception The Beatles used tih get when they appeared on stage!)



We held oot until the 85th minute under a barrage from the Liverpool forwards, but then Willie McFaul, (who'd had a blinder up 'til then) made a terrible blunder, when he failed to hold a weak shot from Peter Thompson, and the baall slipped through his hands and open legs---and into the net!



The sight of the Toon goalie stampin' the groond in frustration, just aboot summed up how AH felt!, and wih went doon 2-1.



A'd had a brilliant day (apart from the score!) and mee forst proper away game was under mee belt---ah was hooked! and after the game wih heeded for Blackpool Illuminations (yi could say, a’d ‘seen the light’!)


“Arsenal---Arsenal---here we come!"  (Wor next away game!)                 




              

Wednesday, 11 September 2019

NUFC MAD -SAD GROUNDHOPPERS DIARY DATES!

Posted '3:18pm bells' Wedinzday 11th September 2019

BIRKDALE PARK, BOTTESFORD

Scunthorpe's excellent 3-1 win at Sooothend yesterday in The Premyaa Leegue Cup, meenz that NUFC U23s will have 2 new venues to visit in this competition!

That's at Birkdale Park, home of Bottesford Toon FC and Haall Road Rangers, where 'Scunny' normally play their U23 games--- and The East Riding FAs heedquarters at The Roy West Centre in Hull, where we will play Hull U23s!
THE ROY WEST CENTRE, HULL

NUFC have been placed in Group 'C' alang with West Brom and the above 2 teams. (West Brom play their U23 games at their trainin' groond--where we have been tee before)
MONTGOMERY WATER MEADOW, SHREWSBURY

Aalso, we have still to visit Shrewsbury's New Meadow groond next month for an EFL Trophy group stage game, between Shrewsbury's 1st team and NUFC U21s
(Aalso Port Vale, but we have been here az well!)

The away dates in question are U21 and U23 fixtures til the end of this year and are subject to change, except the Shrewsbury game, which haz been 'set in stone'!

Thorsday 3rd October to Sunday 6th October: Hull City U23s v NUFC U23s at The Roy West Centre in Hull in The Premyaa Leegue Cup (venue to be conformed)

Wedinzday 8th October: Shrewsbury's 1st team v NUFC U21s  at New Meadow in The EFL Trophy (7:30 bells')

Tuesday 12th November: Port Vale's 1st team v NUFC U21s at Vale Park in The EFL Trophy (Been here---got the Tee shirt!) 

Friday 29th November to Munday 2nd December: Scunthorpe U23s v NUFC U23s at Birkdale Park, Bottesford in The Premyaa Leegue Cup (It iz possible that this game could be moved to Glanford Park---where we have been tee before)(Hopefully not!) 

*The Geordie Times will of course conform the exact dates and times that the games will be played in due course!


  

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

"BOTTES UP IF YOO LUV THE TOON!"ðŸĨ‚

Posted '1:17pm bells' Tuesday 10th September 2019
Birkdale Park, home of
Bottesford Toon and
Haall Road Rangers

Aall NUFC groundhoppers eyes will be glued to a certain futbaall fixture this afternooon, when Sooothend U23s take on Scunthorpe U23s at Roots Hall, Soothend!

This is because the winners will play NUFC U23s in the Premyaa Leegue Cup!

Sooothend play their U23 games at Roots Hall, where we have been before of course, while Scunny play their U23 home games at nearby Bottesford Toon FC, a groond that 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never been tee before!

So, of course we will be rootin' for an away win so that we can add yet another new groond to wor never endin' list!

The game kicks off at '4 bells' and we will bring yoo the result az soon az we find oot!

Updated between '4:00 bells' and full time
*Joyous news for The Nufc mad-sad groundhoppers
Scunny scored 2 more goals in stoppage time to seal a date with NUFC U23s at Bottesford Toon!ðŸĪŠ *5:50 bells'----Nearly time---penalties loom
*5:32 bells'   Bad news !---Sooothend have equalised!
*4:46 bells' HT---still 0-1 to 'Scunny'!---so far so good!
*'4:02 bells'---Great news! 'Scunny' have taken the lead after just 2 minutes!---Sooothend 0  Scunthorpe 1

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