“COME IN NUMBER 20!”⬆️
News reaches The Geordie Times that we have signed an out an out striker at last, with fantastic pace! (He can aalso fly doon the wing!)
21 year old Matias Fernandez-Padro iz a Belgian 🇧🇪 International and haz signed for a reported £51 million from French club Lille!
He flew into Toon airport last neet and completed hiz medical at wor trainin groond in Benton, next door to where wor U21s were losin 4-0 to Fulham U21s! (Match report later!)
This iz a fantastic transfer for NUFC and with 7 other major signings durin the summer transfer window, wor team will look completely different from last season!
“I’VE AALWAYS SAID THAT I WON’T BELIEVE THAT A PLAYER HAZ SIGNED FOR US, UNTIL HE IZ STANDING INSIDE SJP WITH A TOON SHIRT OR SCARF IN FRONT OF THE EAST STAND SIGN!”
*In other transfer news, Nick Waltemade haz joined Juventus on a season long loan for £3.5 million! (He cost us a record £64 million!)
He tried hiz best, but hiz style of play doesn’t suite the Premyaa Leegue and he woz a very expensive panic buy in the last summer transfer window, after the rat 🐀 deserted the ship! (And 3 other targets were highjacked by cartel clubs!)
We wish him well az he seems a canny lad and hopefully he will be a success in the Italian ‘Serie A’ Leegue!
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