THE HAZBEENZ & VILLIANS 1-3 THE TOON *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted 'from 10am bells' on the train back from Bormingham Wedinzday 31st January 2024 

NO IT WASNT FOGGY—IT WOZ A PYROTECNIC DISPLAY PRE MATCH, WHERE YOU COULD HARDLY BREATH WHEN THE SMOKE HIT YOO!

*”THE FAB 5!”

2 goals from wor number 5 ‘Fab’(ian) Schar and an own secured this 3-1 victory!

TOON FANS CELEBRATE FAB’S 1st!

Both goals were ‘stab ins’from Schar in front of The Holte End in the first half! The first from a Tripper corner and the second after Anthony Gordon hit the bar and it fell nicely to ‘Fab’s feet!

The 3rd came in the 2nd period after pressure from Murphy led to the og by Moreno to put us 3-0 up!

The Hazbeenz & Villians pulled one back and then Longstaff fluffed his chance when he was put clean through—-anly to shoot and hit the keepers legs when he shud have scored—-and so it woz a norvus 10 mins stoppage time to conform wor 3rd away win in the bounce and inflict Villa’s first home defeat of the season!

The Toon fans were up for it, while the home fans were very quiet!

The reeely bad news woz that Isak woz forced off meanin that alang with Wilson and Joelinton’s injuries we had nee oot and oot strikers on the pitch!

So it woz left to good old number 5 to save the day!

Attendance: Divvint naa yet? but there were 3,000 happy Toon fans!

THE END GAME!

Much more to follow tomorrow when we get back from Fleeetwood where we are gannin to see wor U21s tooneet!  A new groond for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’!

SHIT!💩 Just foond oot that the Fleetwood game iz OFF! 😭

Waaterlogged pitch!

BORMINGHAM PUB CRAWL PIX (4 boozers visited)

For the benefit of you youngins reading this: The Beatles were known az The Fab 4

Fabian Schar Fab 5. get it?

THE HAZBEENZ & VILLIANS v THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET AT THE UNGODLY TIME OF '8:15 BELLS'!

 Posted '12:51pm bells' Munday 29th January 2024

"LET THE TRAIN TAKE THE STRAIN!" ("THAT'S IF IT TORNZ UP?---LIKE!?")

VIEW OF THE 'NEW' CASTLE FROM 'THE CENTRAL' LAST SATURDAY 

(ON WOR WAY TO KING'S CROSS FOR THE FULIM GAME!)

"HORRAY!---THAT'S WOR TRAIN!"

IZ THERE A BETTER VIEW FROM ANY TRAIN STATION?

Yet again we are off on wor away travels, but wor plans have aalready been scuppered az wor train tomorrow mornin to Bormingham at '10:25 bells' haz aalready been cancelled!

So!--- the 'plan' iz? to catch the train an hour orlier IF its runnin???

We expect the team line up to be more or less like the team who beat Fulim 2-0 in the FA Cup on Saturday!

And then the day after the 'plan' iz to catch the train back and get off at Durham for a lift off 'Biffa the Beer' to Fleetwoood, where wor U21s are playin their forst team in the EFL Trophy at '7:00 bells'! (A groond The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers have never been tee!)

A match report on both games will appear here! ---eventually! 

Az per usual!  "Watch this space!"

FA CUP AWAY DAYS ---AGAIN!

In other news we have been drawn away in the FA Cup for the 4th time ina row, where we will play eethaa Blackborn or Wrexim in a midweek game in February!

Honestly I personally hope its 'Blackborn' az its much nearer and we will get 7,500 tickets, opposed to aboot 1,500 at Wrexim! (I would get a Rexim ticket anyway, az I have more than enough 'loyalty ponts', but I would love us to have a fothaa 6,000 tickets, so more of wor fans can get to see it!) (Wrexim will have a followin' of 7,000 tooneet in The Darwin End of Ewood Park

The BBCs 'love affair' with the Welsh side iz obscene because of their Hollywood owners involvement and it will nee doubt be a very biased commentary for them, IF thats the case! (Just like the biased ITV commentary of the Fulim game, which we were told aboot from fans who watched that game on the telly!) (Co commentator Lee Dixon apparently said "I hope Fulham score!"---What a disgrace!)

Updated '10:40pm bells'

BLACKBORN won 4-1 so there will be nee BBC Hollywood 'love in' (Thank God!) Wrexim had 7,200 in The Darwin End so NUFC will probably get the whole end which holds 7,500 (hopefully?)

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE 0-2 THE TOON *** FA CUP 4th ROOND

 Posted from 10:26 am 'bells' onwards Sunday 28th January 2024 on the train back from London!

*GREEN FOR GO!”

Anothaa owerneet stay in London and after we dumped wor bags in a hotel near King’s Cross it woz off to Putney on the opposite side of the Thames from Fulim for a mini pub crawl!

After a few liquid lubrications in the various boozers where the price for a pint of 🍺 IPA seemed to be £6.90 in every bar (must be a price fix!?)

Anyway! we left aboot an hour before the ridiculous ‘7:00 bells 🔔’ kick off! (live telly rules OK!)

3,800 Toon fans were in attendance in The Putney End and were in full voice az the game started with NUFC wearin wor green strip!

There were loads of empty seats in the home ends az Fulim fans were up in arms at the £40 and £50 tickets for a live televised game on a Saturday neet!

Aa’ll get straight to the point!

This game woz crap 💩 az we kicked towards The Hammersmith End opposite where we were!

There were few chances but NUFC  took the lead in the 39th minute when Sean Longstaff hit the baall from close in after baall had brushed Bruno’s arm!

Longstaff goal celebrations!🤪👍🏁

VAR intervened and a quick decision to allow the goal sent The Toon fans into double celebrations! (One for the goal and one after the VAR check!)

SPOT THE CORNER COTTAGE!?

THE RIVERSIDE STAND ON THE LEFT STILL ISN'T FINISHED, BUT AT £3,000 FOR A SEASON TICKET THERE, WILL THEY EVER FILL IT???

Dan Burn doubled wor lead on the hour mark az he latched onto the baall after a Botman heeder woz deflected into his path from a save by the Fulim keeper!

Loads of misplaced passes followed from both teams az this borin game drew to a close!

Attendance:Just 18,900 (3,800 Toon fans including Alan Shearer who woz serenaded by The Toon fans!!!)

We are in the hat for the 5th roond draw at ‘2:00 bells’ this afternooon (allegedly!) and are baall number 16!

A home draw please—-anybody but Maidstone! (I woz at the ‘H’ game in 1972!)

The Geordie Times will let yiz naa just who and where we get, when we find oot!

ITS BLACKBORN OR REXIM AWAY!

PUTNEY & HAMMERSMITH PUB CRAWL!

(4 boozers visited)

PUTNEY PIES HAZ A PUB DOONSTAIRS CAALLED

 🠟'THE VAULT'!🠟

A PUTNEY PIE AT NEARLY £20 QUID!!! 

(Yi'd need to be 'pie eyed' to buy one!)

HAMMERSMITH, LONDON

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE v THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET!

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Friday 26th January 2024

We are off on wor travels to London (yet again!) tomorrow mornin for wor FA Cup 4th roond tie at Craven Cottage v Fulim at the ridiculous '7:00pm bells' kick off for live telly! (Last train back from King's Cross iz at '9:00pm bells'---So anothaa owerneet stay iz forced upon us!)

Aall 3,800 allocated tickets have been snapped up, while Fulim are strugglin to sell home tickets, with quite a few thoosand left!

They gave Leeedz 6,000 ticket for a previous cup tie, but for some unknown reason they slashed wors by 2,200?

It will sorve them reet if there are empty seats and yoo can bet your bottom dollar that there will be Toon fans scattered aroond the groond in the home sections!

On the injury front, it doesn't get any better with Joelinton oot til the end of the season and the likes of Harvey Barnes, Callum Wilson and Joe Willock still crocked, will it be anothaa game with 2 goalies az subs, such iz wor plight!

Yet again this will be wor last chance of silverware---lets hope it isn't anothaa January disaster!

And then its off to Bormingham next Tuezday when we play The Hazbeenz and Villians in a Premyaa Leegue encoontaa, followed by a trip to Fleetwood the next day, on the way back, where wor U21s are in action!----This will be a new Futbaall Leegue groond for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

On the transfor front, wild speculations are deein the roonds of course!---who will come?---who will gan?

Anyway!--we will soon find oot az the January window closes on February 1st

A full Geordie Times match report on the Fulim game will appear here, sometime on Sunday!----Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

PS: The Geordie Times had it's 990,000th pageview yesterday and so we are now less than 10,000 'hits' from the 'holy grail' of ONE MILLION!  (April Fools Day perhaps?) 

And hello!  Northern Mariana Islands--wherever yoo are  (5 page views in last 24 hours) 164th country or territory to visit The Geordie Times! (Plus the planet Mars of course!)🠟

"Take me to your leader!"---"Whey aye maan!"

NUFC *** THE ANLY CLUB IN PREMYAA LEEGUE HISTORY NOT TO HAVE HAD A CROWD UNDER 30,000!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 24th January 2024

Amazingleee! 'The Toon' are the ANLY club in Premyaa Leegue history to NEVER have had a crowd of under 30,000!---Wor lowest crowd (apart from Covid when fans weren’t allowed in or restricted to 10,000 or less) iz when we played Sooothampton in the 1993-1994 season when 32,067 were in attendance---when SJPs capacity woz anly 36,000!

It total 51 clubs have graced the Premyaa Leegue since its formation in 1992!

If yoo were a gamblin man yoo would say that Man U, Livaapool and The Arse would be in that company, but its not true, az the below lowest crowd table iz reveeeled!

Man U have had one crowd under 30,000 when they played Palliss in the 1992-1993 season when 29,736 torned up!----And wot aboot the other 5 of the 'Cartel Six'?

Well! Livaapool had a crowd of 24,561 v QPR in the 1992-1993 season and The Arse actually had a sub 20,000 crowd when anly 18,253 torned up at Highbury (capacity 38,000) in 1993!

Sporz had even less when 17,452 torned up at White Hart Lane (capacity 36,000) v Villa in the 1993-1994 season!

And Man City have aalso had a sub 20,000 crowd when 19,150 torned up at their old Maine Road groond (capacity 60,000) in 1994-95 season v West 'am!

And wot aboot Chelseee?--Whey--amazingly they anly had a crowd of 8,923 v Coventry in 1994!---Check it oot!---we aint tellin 'porkies'!---which puts them in 2nd bottom place in FIFTIETH position, behind the likes of Lutin, Bournemoooth and Oldim!

Az for wor north east rivals, whey the mackems lowest crowd woz 18,561 in 1997 (14th place in the table) and The Smoggies had a crowd of 12,290 in 1993! (40th position)

The lowest ever Premyaa Leegue crowd belongs to Wimbildon, who could anly 'attract' 3,039 v Evaatin in the 1992-1993 season! (Evatin bringin at least half of that number!) 

LOWEST PREMYAA LEEGUE CROWDS

1: NUFC 32,067

2: Man U 29,736 

3: Brightin 29,323

4: Cardiff 26,167

5: Leedz 25,774

6: Livaapool 24,561

7: Stoke 22,690

8: Wulvz 22,657

9: WBA 21,467

10: Redin 21,379

11: Brum 19,922

12: Man City 19,150

13: Swanzee 18,985

14: SMBs 18,561

15: The Arse 18,253

16: Forist 17,525

17: Sporz 17,452

18: Hull 17,403

19: Barnzlee 17,172

20: Huddazfeeld 17,082

21: Darbee 17,022

22: Bornlee 16,904

23: Brentfaad 16,479

24: Charltin 16,448

25: Sheff Wed 16,229

26: Boltin 16,216

27: Portsmooth 16,207

28: Villa 16,180

29: Blackborn 16,035

30: Bradfaad 15,523

31: Lestaa 15,248

32: WHU 14,554

33: Blackpoool 14,550

34: Wigin 14,007

35: Fulim 13,981

36: Wotfaad 13,766

37: Evaatin 13,667

38: Sheff U 13,646

39: Norich 12,452

40: Smoggies 12,290

41: Swindin 11,940

42: Ipswich 11,282

43: Palliss 10,984

44: Lootin 10,802

45: QPR 10,189

46: Bournemooth 9,980

47: Oldim 9,633

48: Coventry 9,526

49: Soothampton 9,028

50: Chelsee 8,923

51: Wimbildin 3,039

*Aa read that we were the anly club not to have a sub 30,000 Prem crowd a while back, somewhere? So thats why aa did some investigation to see if it woz true!

GEORDIE TIMES PREMYAA LEEGUE ATTENDANCE QUIZ!

 Posted '1:04pm bells' Tuezday 23rd January 2024

How many of the 51 clubs who have played in The Premyaa Leegue since its formation in 1992 have NEVER had a crowd of under 30,000? (Except for games during Covid when crowds wernt allowed or restricted to 10,000 or less)

The answer will be reveeeeled in The Geordie Times at 'high noon bells' on Wedinzday 24th January!

Watch this space for some amazin facts!

JOYOUS NEWS FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!----NEW GROOND!---NEW GROOND!

 Posted '12:45pm bells' Friday 19th January 2024

News that wor U21s Premyaa Leegue Cup tie at Chorley v Fleetwood tooneet haz been postponed because of adverse weathaa conditions, reeely iz 'great news' for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

We have seen The Toon play at Chorley 'many moons ago' and the news that the tie haz been moved to Highbury (The one in Lancashire NOT norf London) the home of Fleetwood Toon, iz joyous news indeed!----A groond that we have never visited before!

The game will take place the day after we play Villa away----and the plan iz to get off the train at Durham on the way back from Bormingham the next mornin and cadge a lift from there off 'Biffa the Beer' to Fleetwood, where the game starts at '7:00 bells' on Wedinzday 31st January!

Fleetwood iz a thrivin fishin port and their team runs oot to the brilliant theme tune of the 1970s TV series 'Captain Pugwash'!

STACK ATTACK!

 Posted '1:30pm bells' Wedinzday 17th January 2024

Work on the NUFC fanzone behind The Gallowgate End iz finally underway!  The club hope to have 'The Stack' open before the end of the season, where big screens and bars will be erected on 2 levels usin shippin containers!

The most important thing az far az we are concerned iz that the iconic view of SJP from Gallowgate will not be obstructed by tall office blocks az woz originally planned when The Fat Controller (Ashley) sold the land to buildin developers!

Thankfully NUFC bought the land back and The Stack will soon be another feature on the approaches to the groond!

*Of course--in the future, The Gallowgate End could be extended ower Strawberry Place az a mirror image of The Leazes End!

We 'Fink' it would be a great idea to incorporate a hotel into the back of structure to increase the revenue of NUFC

WOT THE STACK WILL LOOK LIKE!----WOT! WOODEN BENCH SEATS!

THE TOON 2 THE BLUE MOONS 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th January 2024

"HALFWAY HOOSE!"

If you were a neutral watchin this on the telly, you'd be ower the moon with this see-saw game!

The sequence of events were az follows:

2nd minute: Isak's cross finds Sean Longstaff and he forces the baall into the Leazes net to open the scorin for NUFC--BUT the linesman flagged for offside and the goal woz quickly (for a change) ruled oot!

Man City goalie Edison woz injured in the collision with Longstaff and woz subsequently replaced by Ortega 

26th minute: A Kyle Walker cross iz back heeled into the Gallowgate net by Silva to put wor visitors 0-1 up! 

35th minute: We fought back and just 9 minutes later when Bruno put Isak through and he hit a curlin shot into the corner of the goal to level the scores!

37th minute: We were still celebratin the goal and hardy had time to get wor breath back when Anthony Gordon hit a wonderful curlin shot from the other side of the pitch which sailed into the net to send the crowd crazy!   2-1 up at the break!

74th minute: De Bruyne then came on for The Blue Moonies and he hadn't been on the pitch for more than 5 minutes, when he hit a screamer into the corner of the net with Dubravka in the Toon goal unable to reach the shot! 2-2

91st minute: Then injury time heartbreak yet again for the black n whites when, just az it woz annoonced that there would be 3 minutes stoppage time, De Bruyne hit a cross to find Oscar Bobb who from close in toe poked the baall into the back of the net! 2-3 final score!

It woz certainly a bitter pill to swallow, az we slipped to halfway doon the Premyaa Leegue table to 10th position!

Attendance: 52,198 (3,200 Blue Moonies, who sang defiently "That's why we're champions!" az WE exited the groond in a shattered state!

*

CRIMSON SKY OWER THE GALLOWGATE END! (Pre match)

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONS *** TODAY AT TEATIME

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Saturday 13th January 2024

Action from last Septmbaa when we beat Man City 1-0 in the Leegue Cup!

*News that Joelinton will be oot for at least 6 weeks with a thigh injury he picked up in wor memorable 3-0 win ower the SMBs last Saturday, iz yet anothaa devastatin blow to hit us!  Aalready oot are Wilson, Barnes, Willock, Murphy, Anderson, The Pope and Targett!  Plus Tonali of course who iz suspended til August!----Thats NINE players oot aaltogethaa!

Man City meeenwhile are withoot Stones and Harlaand who are (thankfully) unfit!

It will be a very tough game against probably the best team in the world and to be porfectleee honest, I for one would be happy with a draw today!

We of course beat them orlier on this season 1-0 in the Leegue Cup when Alexander the Great (Isak) scored the anly goal of the game to inflict The Blue Moonies forst defeat of the season!---They will definatly be oot for revenge come the '5:30 bells' kick off (Live on TNT) 

*A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday----And then we have a 2 week 'rest' before playin Fulim in the FA Cup 4th roond on January 27th in west London!

PS: "Hello St. Martin! wherever yoo are?" ---The 163rd different country or territory to read The Geordie Times! (Plus the planet MARS of course!)   

🢃🢃🢃🢃🢃🢃

“TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!          WHEY AYE MAAN!”

A CATACLYSMIC EVENT IN SUND’LIND’S HISTORY!

 Posted’5:30pm 🔔s Friday 12th January 2024

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!

Haven’t yoo heard?

sund’lind are changin the name of The Black Cat Club to The Black n White Cat Club!

TELLY TIMES TRAVISTY!

 Posted ‘2:33pm 🔔s Friday 12th January 2024

☠️16 oot of the 17 away NUFC leegue and cup games below have been moved for live telly!  Anly Lootin (arrowed) haz stayed at the traditional 3:00 bells' Saturday kick off!

☠️Wor game at Fulim in the FA Cup haz unexpectidly been moved to a '7:00 pm bells' kick off and az the last train back to Tyneside on that day iz 9:00pm bells’ it meeenz that we are forced to have yet another owerneet stay in London!

Oot of aall the away games we have been tee this season includin The Champions Leegue where 2 neet stays were required for the 3 games, we have(so far)stopped in a hotel a staggering 16 times!

Fulhim, Villa and The Arse will take this total to 19 and of course there are boond to be more az the telly schedules are released for the final few games of the season!

At an average of £50 per neet per person, that meeenz so far we have spent £800 each on hotel accommodation!(At least!)

PS: We are NOT multi millionaires eethaa!

WOT NEXT? BRAILE STRIPS TO HELP THE BLIND???

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Wedinzday 10th January 2024

THE ADMIRAL OF THE FLEET LORD BERESFORD KICKS OFF THE 1904 DERBY 120 YEARS AGO AT SJP

NOTE THAT BOTH TEAMS ARE PLAYIN' IN THEIR TRADITIONAL STRIPES!

NUFC and safc have been playin in their own colours in derby games for one hundred and thorty years----Sometimes the away team have played in their change strip, but 9 times oot of 10 'we' play in black n white strips and 'they' play in red n white stripes!

ALAN SHEARER CELEBRATES HIZ PENALTY GOAL IN WOR 4-1 WIN AT THE SOS IN 2005 WEARIN BLACK N WHITE STRIPES!

But now---aall of a sudden colour blindnes campaigners are outraged that they could tell the difference in the derby thrashin on Saturday and bemoan the FA's response!----Even though NUFC played in white shorts and socks and sund'lind played in black shorts and red socks!----Can they not tell the difference between black and white?

It's gettin crazy with these woke campainers demandin' more and more change in society!

Wot next we ask---demand that we both play in braile strips to help the blind????

PS: And Michael Oliver the referee iz an NUFC fan who cannit referee ANY NUFC or safc games!---So just WHY carnt he support us at a derby game????

“COME IN NUMBER 15!”

 Posted '7:00pm bells 🔔 Munday 9th January 2024

Oot of the 39 clubs still left in the FA Cup 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been to 36 of those groonds to watch wor forst team or resorves. 

The3 missin groonds are non leegue Maidstone United, Bristol Rovers and Newport Coonty!

The anly one that NUFC have played on which we havvint been tee iz Newport, in the Leegue Cup!

We wirnt allowed to gan coz the game woz played behind closed doors 🚪 durin the Covid crisis!

A home tie against anybody would be preferable, but if it’s away "Can we have Newport pleeeze to complete to set!"—-We have been to every other groond including Europe for a competitive game in the last 42 years!

NUFC are baall number 15, while Newport are baall number 31 and the draw iz between ‘7:45 bells 🔔 and 8:15 bells 🔔 before the Wigan v Moan U game on ITV 1

ITS FULIM AWAY—YET ANOTHAA GAME IN LONDON!🥶

THE SMBs 0 THE TOON 3 ! **** FA CUP 3rd ROOND

Posted from 'high noon bells', onwards, Sunday 7th January 2024

Isak's penalty to seal the 3-0 victory!

"THE STADIUM OF DELIGHT!"

An emphatic victory ower a piss poor mackem side made the hassle of 'bubble bus travel' worth it!

From the word go we were on the front foot az we attacked the south stand end where a pathetic red and gold er! sorry silver tin foil display woz unvieled by the home fans!

Spot the difference?

NUFC battered them and had many chances to score before the inevitable happened! An own goal from Ballard in the 35th minute!

Joelinton and Bruno had combined and the cross for Isak woz intecepted by Ballard who put the baall into hiz own net, to the delight of the 6,000 Toon fans in the opposite North Stand!

It woz still 1-0 to us at half time---when it could easily have been 2 or 3!---The SMBs hardly venturin' into wor half!

It took just 30 seconds of the restart to double wor lead when Ekwah woz dispossessed by Miggy Almiron and he past the baall to an unmarked Alexander Isak, who had the simple task of slammin the baall into the net in front of the black n white faithful!

Many more chances went a beggin' until the final minute of the 90 when Anthony Gordon raced into the box and woz man handled by Ballard!----The ref pointed straight to the penalty spot!

Alexander the Great (Isak) took it and sent the mackem goalie the wrang way to plant the baall into the corner of the net to send the Toon fans meNtal and the SMBs off to the exits!

The celebrations continued at the final whistle with the Toon team gettin a photo in front of the fans wavin their black n white scarfs!

The jorney back woz crap (just like the mackems team) and we didnt get back to The Toon til '5 bells'! (The match had finished at '2:35 bells') An 11 mile jorney! 

(For the jorney doon to 'the dark place' see article below)

Attendance: Just 44,814 (It holds 48,500)  6,000 very happy Toon fans indeed!

Geordie Times fact file:

This woz mee 53rd competitive Tyne/wear derby in a row home and away from 1967 to date (This includes the 2-1 NUFC win in 1996-1997 when away fans were barred from Joker Park and SJP!)

*Bow doon to your superiors!

Naa your place! 🙇🙇🙇

     SMB season ticket holders pink seats! 🤪👍🏁

A lad in front of me had a card full of NUFC stickers and stuck them to the seats!

The black n white waall! (Are yoo watchin Dortmund?)

“GEORDIE BOYS TAKIN THE PISS!”