"HELLO!---NUFC TICKET OFFICE!---
CAN I PURCHASE 50 TICKETS FOR
'THE DURHAM REDS'--ER!-'MAGS', PLEASE!"
*"DOUBLE (TROUBLE!) STANDARDS!"
News that tickets have been put on general sale for wor game with Moan United on Sunday 6th October, tells yoo everything aboot the low attendances so far this season, az many fans boycott games!
Moan U, az usual, have sold their entire allocation of 3,100 away tickets, but now any fan of any club who possesses a mobile "telling bone" can now purchase tickets in any othaa parts of the groond, because of low ticket sales in the home sections!
Personal callers can also purchase tickets from the NUFC ticket office and az there are a canny few Moan U gloryhunter fans who live in the north east, there are bound to be quite a few of their fans in the home sections!--which in turn, will ignite trouble shud they score forst!
When we played 'The Liverbirds' on the last day of last season, their fans infiltrated the home sections and trouble broke oot when they scored, despite sales to NUFC fans only!
Toon fans were told that if they sold their ticket to them, they would be banned and lose their season tickets---yet because we are now so desperate to fill thoosands of empty seats, any 'Tom, Dick or Moan U fan', can now buy them!
A disgraceful 'double standards' decision from NUFC!
Below is a letter from fans protest group, 'ToonForChange', to the ticket office manager Stephen Tickle <(no! this isn't a typing error), which woz sent yesterday, when tickets went on general sale!
This iz no laughing matter, Mr 'Tickle'!!!
*And one ticket website iz offerin' 339 tickets for sale to anybody who haz 'the bit' to buy them! (at extorshanit prices!)----
A few for the away end, but most for the home sections!