Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 13th January 2022
"A TREEMENDOUS SIGNING!"
New Zealand international Chris Wood haz become NUFCs 2nd signin' of the transfor window and we welcome him with open arms!
He iz a much needed centre forward to stand in for the injured Callum Wilson and could be the signin' that saves wor season!? (ie: We are not oot of 'the woods' yet! (sic!)
He iz 30 years old and for 4 seasons in a row he haz scored 10 goals or more, although he haz anly got 3 this season (so far!)
He woz born in Auckland (That's Auckland, New Zealand, NOT the one where the 'Bishop' comes from in Coonty Durham!) and he haz signed a 2 and a half year deal! (Like Kieran Trippier)
Chris will wear the number 20 shirt.
A £25 million fee haz been mentioned az that 'triggers' a release clause, with 'The Bornley Hillbillies', unable to stop the move! (Which will surely damage their chances of survival in the process!)
We hear that more signings are 'imminent' in wor quest to avoid the dreaded drop!
Oot of wor next 4 games, 3 are at SJP against Wotfaad on Saturday, then Leeedz away a week later, Evaatin at SJP the followin Tuesday and then another home game against 'The Hazbeeenz and Villains' the Sunday after that!
Aall these games are winnable and will make or break wor season!