Sunday, 20 October 2019

CHELSKI 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:40am bells' Sunday 20th October 2019

"SILENCE PLEEZE!---THIS IZ THE QUIET COACH!"

The day started off at 'The Central' (station) where we boarded the '7:56 bells' train to King's Cross (London)

We had 3 table seats, but a lass woz sprawled across 2 of them fast asleep!  'Big Al' (not the sheet metal worker's son!) woke hor up and said she woz lyin' across hiz seat and so she moved to hors by the window az we sat doon.

We started taalkin aboot the match, but she woz non tooo pleezed and pointed oot that this woz 'the quiet coach' and she woz tryin to get some sleep!
I looked at hor and said, "Wot do yoo want us to do if we need to communicate, 'lip read' or do 'sign language'?"
Aa meeen---did she reeely expect us not to utter a word to each othaa on the 3 hour train jorney???

She suggested to 'Big Al' that if we wanted to talk, then we shud gan to the next carriage instead!!!! (Unbeleeevable!)

WE pointed oot that this woz 'the quiet coach' and NOT 'the silent coach' and carried on taakin' 'quietly' az she buried hor heed in hor coat!
Anyway!--- we got to Darlo when the train announcer told us that a train in front had broken doon and we would therefore be delayed!
We eventually moved but unbelievably anothaa train had broken doon outside Donny station and we would be delayed again!
(the SIXTH TIME in a row that we have been delayed on an away train jorney this season!)
We arrived in 'the smoke' (London) 32 minutes late, which meant that we could claim half wor fares back because of this (the 4th time this season that we have put a claim in!)
NEARLY SIX QUID A PINT HERE!

We heeded for Parsons Green which iz a 25 minute walk from Stamford Bridge for the customary pre match 'gargels' in 'The Duke on the Green'---and at £5.95 a pint it woz an expensive 'gargel' to say the least!
We stayed there til it woz time to gan to the match and suprizingly the 'away end' woz completely full of Toon fans, despite NUFC sayin that they had sent some unsold tickets back???
THE TOON ATTACK 'THE SHED END' (2nd half)

The Toon matched Chelski in the forst half and we had several chances, but 'fluffed them' and didn't have one single shot on goal or corner!
The 2nd period woz different az we hardly ventured into the Chelski half, az they went for the jugular, with Dubravka in the Toon goal makin' some great saves!

The home side finally made the breakthrough in the 73rd minute when Alonso hit a low shot into the net, finally beatin' Dubravka!

We tried to make a comeback, but there woz little up front, with wor £40 million signin' Joelinton not firin' again (just 1 goal in 9 games now)
Dwight Galye came on az sub in the 85th minute, and az far az we were aware he nevaa touched the baall once in that time---and he woz not a 'happy bunny' (3 mins of stoppage time included!)

We had NEE shots on target and NEE corners in this half eethaa, az the ref blew for full time! (cant remember the last time this happened!)
Results elsewhere meant that NUFC dropped back into the bottom 3 on goal difference! 
CHEAP DRINKS HERE!---ANLY £5.49!

We heeded back to King's Cross for the final 'gargels' in the 'Barrel Vault' (just £5.49 a pint there!), before catchin' the '7:00 bells' train back to Tyneside, where we arrived 6 minutes late (nee compensation this time, az the train must be at least 30 mins late to claim a refund!)

PS: We wornt in 'the quiet coach' this time and could talk freely!
(Oh the joys of bein able to talk to each othaa withoot any complaints!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Clark, Willems, Almiron (Carroll 70), S. Longstaff, M. Longstaff, Saint-Maximin (Gayle 85), Joelinton (Atsu 83)

Attendance: 40,513 (3,000 Toon fans and nee empty seats!)
SOME OF THE TOON FANS WHO FILLED THE AWAY END!

*Explanations for non Geordie reeeders:
Alan Shearer woz known az 'Big Al' and woz the son of a sheet metal worker
Darlo=Darlington   Donny=Doncaster

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