Saturday, 7 March 2020

THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB 0 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '10:58am bells' on train from London Waterloo to Soothampton! And later on pub report from Sooothampton!
Match report and more pix added at '11:36am bells' Sunday 8th March 2020

View from row 'BB' seat 1154 in The Norham End (2nd half)

"THE 'SAINT' SINKS 'THE SAINTS' AT SAINT MARY'S!"

Aa dragged mee lifeless body oot of 'me scratcher' (bed!) at the ungodly hour of '4:30am bells' to catch the train to King's Cross in London with mee travellin companions 'Sarnie Steve' and 'Big Al' (NOT the sheetmetal workers son!) and then onwards to the sooth coast via London Waaterloo station, where the most expensive pint av ever bought in a boozer in the UK woz purchased at £6:50! (see below!)

On arrival in Sooothampton we heeded for 'The Giddy Bridge' where in complete contrast mee pint cost £1:99!
It woz then onward to 2 othaa boozers, but 1 woz shut and the othaa wouldn't let us in, coz we were away fans! (again--see below!)
Wor final 'port o call' woz 'The Alex' , where we had nee problem getting in and then it woz time to heed for the visitors section at St. Mary's Stadium!
1st half action az NUFC attack the far goal

We played in wor horrible bottle green away strip (Ugggh!) and to match it the performance on the pitch woz 'horrible' az well!
We did have a chance orly on when Shelvey crossed fro the right and their keeper McCarthy ,made 2 point blank saves from Gayle and Almiron!---Gayle then had a divin heeder saved!
Matt Richie corner (2nd half)

Apart from that, both teams were lethargic in the forst half of the forst half and the tornin' point of the game came in the 27th minute when Issac Hayden woz 'met' with a leg breakin tackle from Djenepo, who woz booked by the ref---who woz then told by VAR to have anothaa look on the pitchside moniter and he changed hiz mind and issued a RED CARD instead!
Then, just before the break a 'handbaall' incident in the box woz reviewed by VAR and a penalty woz given to 'us' after aboot a 3 minute wait----Matt Ritchie took it at the far end from the away section and he hit hiz shot to the right of the Sooothampton keeper, who saved it easily----0-0 at half time!

Even against 10 men we couldn't find a way through, az we passed the SEVEN HOUR MARK withoot a goal----but then the 'moment' 11 minutes from time-----Allan Saint-Maximun latched onto a misstayk by a home defender and raced towards the box---he expertly placed hiz left foot shot (or woz it his 'right foot?) which went in off the post to finally beat their keeper!----  Some 7 hours and 19 minutes since we last scored a Premyaa Leegue goal!  
The 'SAINT' had scored against 'The SAINTS' at 'SAINT Mary's!

This resulted in wild celebration in The Norham End, where we were, az Saint-Maximin did a double somersault in front of us!  NUFC somehow managed to limp to the finishin line, movin up to 13th place in the table and above wor opponents on 35 points and 8 points above Bornmoooth in the last relegation place! (6 more needed to avoid the drop, me 'fink'x!)
SAINT Pancras-King's Cross, post match

It woz then back to London where the celebratory 'gargels' took place at SAINT Pancras-King's Cross! (Where else?) before catchin the '9 bells' train back yem----arriving back at 'wor hoose' at just before '1:00 am bells'---totally knocked with havin to get up at '4:30am bells' the previous day!----Woz it worth it???
"WHEY AYE, MAAN!"

Toon team: Debravka, Manquillo (Lazaro 72), Lascelles, Fernandez, Rose, Ritchie (Joelinton 61), Shelvey, Hayden (S. Longstaff 79), SAINT-Maximin, Gayle, Almiron

Attendance: 30,096 (2,900 relieved Toon fans!) 



The pre match 'gargels' took place here (or NOT az the case may be!)
Waterloo station, London

At £6:50 a pint I had to pay by card az I didn't have enough cash!😳

And in Sooothampton!

£1:99 a pint!

Named and shamed!
Bouncers wouldn't let us in
Said there might be a conflict of interests between 
Sooothampton and Toon fans! W*NKERS!

Not open!

The Alex   £5:00 a pint!








*The Simon Templar Mob---an explanation:
'The Saint' woz a cult TV show in the 1960s and starred Roger Moore az Simon Templar---Sooothampton's nickname iz 'The Saints'---get it ???

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