Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 4th December 2020
A Company caalled 'Liberty Games' haz worked oot how things would look with a one metre social distancing measure at aall Premyaa Leegue groonds for the comin' season!
In wor case St. James' Park would anly be able to hold 14,240--- a reduction of 38,148!
In the wake of the Premyaa Leegue cancellin' the £564 million contract to a Chinese TV firm, (coz they refused to pay the last instaalment of £160 million coz of the coronavirus epidemic), this would leave AALL top flight clubs with anothaa heedache to contend with!---And remember!-- az well az the Saudi NUFC takeower fiasco, Masters and hiz cronies TORNED DOON a mega offer from the Saudis for a TV deal!
Below iz a list of 'new' predicted capacities for Premyaa Leegue clubs (It's frightenin'!) Nee away fans allowed in eethaa!
Moan U: From 75,653 to 20,519
Sporz: From 62,062 to 19,890
The Arse: From 60,260 to 16,400
The Jellied Eels Mob: From 60,000 to 16,330
The Blue Moonies: From 55,097 to 14,990
The Liverbirds: From 54,074 to 14,710
The Toon: From 52,388 to 14,240
The Hazbeenz & Villians: From 42,660 to 11,610
Chelski: From 41,798 to 11,370
The Toffee Noses: 39,571 to 10,770
Leedz: 39,460 to 10,740
The Blade Runners: 32,702 to 8,900
Sooothamptin: 32,505 to 8,840
The Basil Brush Brigade: 32,313 to 8,790
Wolverhamptin Wanabeez: 31,700 to 8,620
Nee Where Near Brightin: 30,750 to 8,360
The Baggie Trooosers: 26,287 to 7,150
Cristil Palliss: 26,074 to 7,090
The Cottage Pie Mob: 25,700 to 6,990
The Bornley Hillbillies: 21,401 to 5,820
And just HOW will they aall work oot who can get in and who cannit?
The Prawn Sandwich Brigade: DEFIATLEEE!
Lang torn season ticket holders: PROBABLY!
One year season ticket holders: LOTTERY!
Casual fans who gan to the odd few games: NEE CHANCE!