Friday, 4 September 2020

"THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE THERE, THEY'RE EVERY F****N' WHERE!, EMPTY SEATS, EMPTY SEATS!" (38,148 actually!)

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 4th December 2020

"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"


A Company caalled 'Liberty Games' haz worked oot how things would look with a one metre social distancing measure at aall Premyaa Leegue groonds for the comin' season!

In wor case St. James' Park would anly be able to hold 14,240--- a reduction of 38,148!

In the wake of the Premyaa Leegue cancellin' the £564 million contract to a Chinese TV firm, (coz they refused to pay the last instaalment of £160 million coz of the coronavirus epidemic), this would leave AALL top flight clubs with anothaa heedache to contend with!---And remember!-- az well az the Saudi NUFC takeower fiasco, Masters and hiz cronies TORNED DOON a mega offer from the Saudis for a TV deal!



Below iz a list of 'new' predicted capacities for Premyaa Leegue clubs (It's frightenin'!)   Nee away fans allowed in eethaa!


Moan U: From 75,653 to 20,519

Sporz: From 62,062 to 19,890

The Arse: From 60,260 to 16,400

The Jellied Eels Mob: From 60,000 to 16,330

The Blue Moonies: From 55,097 to 14,990

The Liverbirds: From 54,074 to 14,710

The Toon: From 52,388 to 14,240

The Hazbeenz & Villians: From 42,660 to 11,610

Chelski: From 41,798 to 11,370

The Toffee Noses: 39,571 to 10,770

Leedz: 39,460 to 10,740

The Blade Runners: 32,702 to 8,900

Sooothamptin: 32,505 to 8,840

The Basil Brush Brigade: 32,313 to 8,790

Wolverhamptin Wanabeez: 31,700 to 8,620

Nee Where Near Brightin: 30,750 to 8,360

The Baggie Trooosers: 26,287 to 7,150

Cristil Palliss: 26,074 to 7,090

The Cottage Pie Mob: 25,700 to 6,990

The Bornley Hillbillies: 21,401 to 5,820


And just HOW will they aall work oot who can get in and who cannit?

The Prawn Sandwich Brigade:  DEFIATLEEE!

Lang torn season ticket holders: PROBABLY!

One year season ticket holders: LOTTERY!

Casual fans who gan to the odd few games: NEE CHANCE!


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