Saturday 9 May 2020

149 doctor pit welfare park bedlington terriers


Date of First Visit: 21st DECEMBER 1996





ATTENDANCE 1,500 (Estimated) (1,200 Toon fans)


On wor arrival in the toon centre wih heeded straight for the 'Northumberland Arms' on the corner of the High Street for the forst 'Arthur Scargills'. Then!--- it was off tih the 'Barrington Arms' next door for some more of the 'golden liquid' before heedin' towards the groond which was just doon the road.

Az it torned oot we still had a canny bit time before kick off, az wih wrangly thought it was a 'seven bells' start, when in fact it was  'seven thorty bells'!---SO! (az yih dee!) wih heeded for the appropriatly named 'Bedlington Terrier' for the last gargels (a bottle of 'DOG'! would you believe?)(wot else!) before heedin' for the tornstiles!

BUT!---be warned!----it's a 'canny hike' from the 'Barrington' to the 'Bedlington' (Aboot twenty mins az the drunken magpie staggaz!)

The queues were a canny size az wih approached the tornstiles and wih made it with just seconds tih spare! (pleeze note---'The Undertaker' had 'opted oot' of gannin' for the 'last drinks' and he was in the groond hiz normal half hour before the start!)

Tih be honest----ah half expected 'Deputy Dawg' tih run oot in front of the Bedlington team az club mascot, with, 'Who let the dogs out!' blastin' from the loudspeakers, but!--- aall we got was a couple of 'little sprogs' leadin' them oot ontih the pitch dressed in the red of the 'Terriers'!

Tih enter intih the 'christmas spirit', many of their fans sported the 'obligitory' 'santa hats' az yid expect at this time of the year. (It was anly fower days tih gan before the 'White Bearded Gadgie' and his sidekick, 'Red Nose Rudolph' would pay us their annual visit!) (WHICH! reminds me santa!---NOT! another pair of f***** socks!------PLEEZE!)


Anyway!---the groond was NOT! what ah expected for a club of Bedlington's  stature and it was more like a glorified dog kennel than a futbaall groond! (sic!) (aye!--it gets worse does'nt it?) although this was'nt mee forst ever visit tih 'Doctor Pitts'!. This had happened the year before when me and 'Glen from Ashington' decided tih tek in one of the groonds on the 'Northern League groundhop' at Easter, where groundhoppers get the chance tih see THREE! games a day over the lang weekend, with staggered kick off times.

WE went oot of curiousity AND because the Toon had a free Saturday and wornt playin'---AND (of course!) for a few 'Arthur Scargills' az well!

Once they've visited a new groond some of the groundhoppers (or 'anoraks' az many like to be known) refuse tih gan back to that groond and tick it off their list, never tih darken it's tornstiles again! 

One had a clipboard and everytime the baall went oot for a throw in, corner, or goal kick, he would tick it off! (if THIS is'nt sad----then WHAT F***** IZ!?). Another said he would'nt include the groond unless he touched the match baall!, and another likewise, unless he did a full circle of the pitch!

There was even a guy from Holland who had made the pilgrimage---complete with a pair of CLOGS!

Bedlington were playin' RTM Newcastle that day (nuw 'Newcastle Blue Star') and won two-nowt in front of 555 enthusiastic groundhoppers/anoraks.

After the match, which had kicked off at twelve bells wih decided tih gan tih the Toon for the afternoon session. The anoraks had a double decker bus tih tek them tih Washington which was their next port of caall, so wih cadged a lift off them az they were passin' Newcastle on the way.

HOWEVER!----the bus heeded straight doon the 'A19' and went through---- 'THE TYNE TUNNEL'!--- and we could'nt get off!---and made straight for Washington!

(SO!---az yih dee!) wih ended up watchin' THAT f***** match in aall!---and tih this day, this iz the ANLY time a'v been to a match, which ah neva intended gannin tee!

ENOUGH OF THAT!----lets get back tih WOR game at the 'Doctors surgery'!

The pitch waz just a sea of mud and waz SO! bumpy it looked more like a motor bike scramblin' track than a futbaall pitch!----indeed, everythin' aboot the groond waz disjointed and the goal at the 'Clubhoose End' waz aboot a foot lower at one end than the otha!, such waz the slope of the pitch at this end!   (a'm mekin' theeze 'excuses' up NOW, az the Toon's resorves torned in a c*** performance!)

Even the telegraph poles and a lamp post with nettin' attached tih stop the baall endin' up in some wifey's front garden, were at an 'angle' and two were SO crooked, it looked az though they might faall onto the pitch! ("TIMM-BERRR!")

Like ah say!---The Toon did'nt have a 'good day at the office' and Bedlington were much the stranger team and they ran oot 2-0 winners tih progress tih the next roond.

The tiny bus shelter stand that we were under (so 'tiny' that yih had tih 'dook' tih avoid hittin' yih heed on the roof supports!) waz mekin' 'strange noises' from the roof above.

Ah knocked on it oot of curiosity and amazingly ah got a 'knock back'!?---Two minutes later a youngins heed appeared upside doon starin' arriz from the above roof! (SO THAT'S! what the noise waz!)

Anotha 'upside doon heed' then appeared and this cheeky sprog tried tih swipe 'Alan 'The Mad Professor's  Toon hat, who waz just below him!-----however!--he did a neat 'body swerve' and the would be thief waz left 'hatless' az 'The Mad Professor' banged on the roof tih chase him away!---and yih could here hiz 'plates of meat' bangin, az he scarpered alang the 'now dinted' tin roof!

A 'classic end' to a 'not so'  'classic match'!

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