Tuesday 21 April 2020

120 victoria pleasure grounds goole


Date of First Visit: 10th AUGUST 1994


NEWCASTLE UNITED XI 10 (Alex Mathie 5, Richie Appleby 2, Jeffrey, Papavasiliou, Stewie Elliott (pen)

FRIENDLY FIXTURE---ATTENDANCE 400 (Quite a few Man U fans!)



Meesel, The Undertaker, Mark from Morpeth and Glen from Ashington travelled doon for this one, and wih parked up in the docks area of Goole for a few gargels before the match.

The forst booza wih waalked in tee just stopped what they were deein' az wih sauntered through the door!. Yih would'iv thought that that wi'd waalked intih somebody's hoose uninvited, such were the black looks wih got!

A beer gutted bearded gadgie dressed in his oily work gear was playin' darts and he stopped in his tracks tih  eyebaall us across the smoked filled room, just az he was aboot tih hoy his thord 'arra' intih the board!.

At forst ah thought he was gannih 'change direction' and hoy it at US!, BUT!--- he had a 'change of heart' and hit the treble ONE! instead!  (Jocky Wilson he was'nt!---stick tih the dockers day job, mate!)

When they realised that we wornt from the 'Inland Revenue' or the 'Benefit Cheats Investigation Team' we were 'accepted' intih 'the fold' and sorved with fower throthy pints of 'Goole's Finest' (or whatever it was caalled!?)

Wih decided not tih stop for another one after wi'd finished (just in case!) and heeded for an even rougher looker booza alang the alley. (wi'll neva lorn wor lesson---will wee!?)

This one was a little more 'friendly' (neebody waz playin' darts!) so wih stopped for a couple and then heeded for the groond.


When wih reached the tornstiles wih could'nt believe just how many fans were wearin' Yihnited tops-----NAA!---a'm NOT! taalkin' aboot Newcasel Yihnited---a'm taalkin' abooot F****** Man Yihnited!

But what the hell were they deein' there??----WHY?, had 'the gloryhunters' come tih watch Goole against a Toon XI ???

The answer was simple!-----Apparently!---the local 'rag', 'The Goole Gazzette' (or whatever it waz caalled!?) had reported that Goole Town were playin' MANCHESTER Yihnited! and NOT US!

Hence, the hundred or so 'Humberside Hangers on', appearance at the groond!

(Because of this 'clanger', it's nuw been remamed 'The Goolie Gazzette'!) (honest!)

The disappointment on their little (and large!) faces when they foond oot the truth, az they watched the teams waamin' up before the start, said it aall!!

(Ha!-Ha!-Ha!---sorves them F*****' reet!) ('One-nowt' tih the Toon aalready!)

Actually there were quite a few dressed in the 'black 'n' white' of the Toon iz well!, and they were treated to a 'ten goal rout' az the Toon XI completely ootplayed their hosts with Alex Mathie gettin' five of them in the process! (Aalthough!---just WHAT! 'pleasure' 'Victoria' got from this, iz anybodys guess!) (work it oot!)

The goal sequences were az follows: (deep breath!)
1st goal: Richie Appleby 7th minute
2nd goal: Alex Mathie 8th minute
3rd goal: Jeffrey 20th minute
4th, 5th, 6th & 7th goals: Alex Mathie 52nd minute,  then 67th minute for hiz 'hat-trick', 69th minute and 76th minute for hiz FIFTH goal of the game!
8th goal: Richie Appleby, 85th minute
9th goal: Papavasiliou ?? minute
10th goal: And finally Stewie Elliott completed the rout with a late penalty and the 10th goal of the game!

One very odd lookin' buildin' in the distance which ah took tih be some kind of waata tower?, struck a canny resemblance to a VERY large erect p****!, (with NEE 'GOOLIES'!)(see photo tih mek yih aan minds up!) and this just aboot summed up the Goole Town players attitude! (ie: they had nee b****s! for this game!)

After the match wih heeded back alang the 'M62', singin' Alex Mathie's praises---

---Aaltogether nuw!:


"Alex Mathie!---Alex Mathie!---Alex!-Alex Mathie!"

"He scores the goals that makes us happy!"



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