Sunday, 28 July 2019

PRESTON DEAD END 2 THE TOON XX 1 *** FRIENDLY FIXTURE

Posted '10:56am bells' Sunday 27th July 2019
SHELVEY FREE KICK WHICH GAVE NUFC THE LEAD

"TOON WASHED AWAY IN THE WASHOOT!"

Az predicted by 'The Geordie Times' on Friday, NUFC used 20 players in this game, fieldin' nearly 2 completely different teams in each half, az we went doon 2-1 in aaful monsoon conditions in deepest Lancashire. (And in complete contrast the home side used just 11 players, with nee substitutes!)

The Toon wore wor new dark green and black away strip and Jonjo Shelvey gave NUFC the lead in the 39th minute, with a 30 yard free kick, which screamed into the net!

A penalty woz then awarded in the very orly stages of the 2nd half when new boy Joelinton woz fouled in the box in this forst ever attack, with just 27 seconds of hiz debut, on the clock!

Almiron took it, but hiz soft effort woz easily saved by the Preston keeper!
WE then gave away a penalty for hand baall, but Preston's Gallagher made ne missteak to level the tie.

A 2nd penalty woz then given away by Joelinton who fouled a Preston player in the box, and again Gallagher made nee mistayk, to give the very average Championship side the lead.
They held on til full time and wor new 'general dogsbody' and heed coach 'Broken Nose Bruce' suffered hiz forst defeat, in hiz forst official game in the dugoot! (He woz at wor 2nd game in Chinaa when we beat West Ham 1-0 in Shanghai, but had to watch on from the stands because of visa restrictions!)

Several m
ore signings are needed for certain, or else a relegation battle will surely ensue! (Accordin' to Bruce after the defeat, we have "One or two irons in the fire!", regardin' transfor targets!) (One or two?---we need five or six at least, Brucey baby!)

Toon team: (deep breath!) Woodman, Manquillo, Sterry, Dummett, Clark, Fernandez, Schar, Laselles, Ritchie, Ki, M Longstaff, S Longstaff, Hayden, Colback, Shelvey, Murphy, Muto, Almiron, Aarons, Joelinton

Not suprizingleee considerin' the weather conditions, a 'crowd' of just 4,982 torned up, includin' 1,359 Toon fans in 'The Bill Shankly Stand'!

*'BRUCE'S EXCUSES' part 1:
Old 'Broken Nose' aalso said that, "Preston were at least ten days ahead of us", regardin' the defeat! (whatever THAT excuse iz supposed to mean???) 

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