Sunday 28 July 2013


Posted '8:40am bells' Saturday 27th July 2013


The day started off badly when 'Tex Taylor' phoned me up to inform me that because he'd got 'bladdered' the neet before in The Toon, he'd 'slept in' and would be at least an hour late at the designated pick up point!
'To hoy a spanner in the works, Grumpy Stumpy' who had aalso got 'bladdered' could NOT be contacted to inform him of 'the score'!

'Tex' eventually torned up at twenty to ten and it waz then a mad dash to deepest Throckley to pick 'Stumps' up!

He wasn't at HIZ pick up point, so we heeded for hiz street, but couldn't remember hiz hoose number!
'Tex' brayed on a door which he thought might be Stumpy's but an irate baaldy gadgie came to the door and pointed up the street to 'number 39' where he telt us that he actually lived! 

Frantic knockin on the doors and windows brung ne response and we were forced to leave and heed for Kilmarnock withoot him az time waz getting on ('ten bells' by this time!)!

Anyway the 'demented duo' finally arrived at 'qwaata to one' and we heeded for the toon centre after we had parked mee 'canny tranny' up in a street next to the ground!

There we bumped into 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer', 'Liam from the Lamp' and 'Adam from Holystone' in 'The Waterside' boozer before heedin' for 'The Sports Bar' underneath the main stand of the ground, where the usual NUFC 'saddos' were assembled!

Anly the main stand waz open for this 'resorve' game and aboot 500 were present az the game kicked off, with around 70 or so 'Toonhoppers'!

However---and predictably, it waz obvious from the start that it would be a poor game from wor point of view az 'Killie' pressed for the forst goal. They nearly got it in the 8th minute when 16 year old Pooler missed an open goal with Jak Alnwick in The Toon goal stranded.

Somehow we got through to the interval withoot concedin' and wor attacks were non existent to say the least, and just how any of these fringe players could slot into wor forst team iz hard to imagine with this performance!

The 'highlight' of the 'game' waz at the interval when aa got stuck into one of the so caalled 'world famous' 'Killie pies', which waz aboot a thousand degrees centigrade and which nearly bornt mee lips off az aa got stuck into the steak fillin'!

Surely we could de ne worse in the 2nd half---but we were wrang!
Killie, wearin' their 'mackem' change strip took the lead in the 70th minute after a disastrous back pass to Alnwick went astray and  Slater had the simple task of slottin' the baall into the empty net!

We then had a rare chance to equalise when Jonathyn Quinn had a point blank shot saved by the Kilimanjaro keeper in the 78th minute.
Stewart sealed the win for the home side with just fower minutes to gan when he waz put through and lobbed the baall ower Jak Alwicks lead to send the home faitful into raptures and the away 'saddos' into despair!

It waz then a 3 hour drive back to Tyneside, before preparin' for the next 'tour game' back in England @ Blackpool this afternoon!
Match report on THAT to follow much later tooneet or tomorrow mornin' az the case may be!

PS: There waz still ne word from the whereaboots of 'Grumpy Stumpy' az aa wrote this 'piece'???

PPS: Did yoo spot my dilibrit missteak?
I said that this waz ground 202 when in fact it waz ground 302!
Well spotted 'Glennn from Ashington'!

No comments:

Post a Comment