From the 1960's to the 1990's a popular childrens TV programme caalled 'Jackanory' waz broadcast, where famous presenters would read stories from a book.
The storylines were 'fantasy' and 'make-believe' and millions of kids tuned in to watch it.
The 21st century haz it's very own version of that programme by the name of 'JoeKanory', featurin' wor very own 'Director of Futbaall' az the storyteller!
Below are just some of the many fantasy and make-believe stories that 'JoeKanory' haz been tellin' us lateleee!
AALTOGETHER NOW! "JoeKanory!-JoeKanory!-Joekanory!"
1: "I was manager of Wimbledon for 10 years!"
(7 years actually!)
2: "EVERY top club in the land has got a director of football!"
(Man U and Arsenal DIVVINT have one!)
3: "I have been a manager for 35 years!"
(JoeK took his 1st ASSISTANT managers job in 1983 (under Dave Mackay)---and hiz last job as manager of 'The Toon' in 2009---He anly became a manager in English futbaall at Wimbledon in 1992!)
4: "I've won EVERY award there is in football as a player!"
(JoeKanory won 4 honours at Spors---The FA Cup in 1967---The UEFA Cup in 1972---and The League Cup on 2 occasions in 1971 and 1973----He haz NEVER won the League title or European Cup or played in ANY major international tournament!)
5: "I'm lending my experience as a manager for all those years!--- I was manager of Nottingham Forest for TWO years!"
(He waz manager for TEN months and quit in their Championship RELEGATION season!)
6:"TWO years winning promotion at Luton!"
(Joekanory was RELEGATED in his 1st season at Luton Town but did manage to guide the club to promotion the followin' year!)
7: "I was manager of the Nepal national team, but had to leave during the Prince Diphendra massacre!"
(The 'massacre' actually happened EIGHTEEN YEARS! after Joekanory had left! < It's Unbeleeevible that he COULDN'T remember that!???)
8: "I was manager of Newcastle for nearly TWO years!"
(Less than FIVE months---me finx!)
9: "We 've got some great players like Yohan KEBABS!"
(Words fail us!)
10:"I signed goalie Tim Krul!"
(Oh no yoo didn't! ---he signed for us THREE YEARS before yoo came!)
11: "I'm 'head and shoulders' above anybody else for the job because of my vast experience as a player and manager!"
(We don't believe it!, az 'JoeKanory' haz never had any signs of dandruff!) (The NUFC 'SOAP' opera just gans on and on!)