Monday, 6 July 2020

THE TOON 2 THE JELLIED EELS MOB 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '1:40pm bells' Munday 6th July 2020 (Woodall services M1 north truck park!) Updated '7:30pm bells'

SHELVEY SCORES AT THE GALLOWGATE END ON THE TELLY 
AZ I LOOK OOT OF THE WINDOW OF ROSIES BAR 
TOWARDS THE GALLOWGATE END!

"LOOK THROUGH ANY WINDOW, YEAH!"

A bizarre day in The Toon started off in The Newcasil Arms and then onwards across the road to Rosie's Bar within sight of the Chinese arch and The Gallowgate End of St. James' Park 150 yards beyond! This woz the 2nd day of the pubs reopenin after the curfew, but the streets were strangely quiet?

News filtered through that 'The Dibble' had ordered some city centre bars not to show wor home game on the telly! Several boozers, includin The Strawberry, The Rose n Croon, The Black Garter and The 3 Bulls were ordered to switch their tellys off durin the live transmission!
"DRINK!--DRINK!--WHEREVER YOO MAY BE!"

Rosie's Bar, however, got the 'green light's az they had aall the social distancing measures in place, likes facemasks for bar staff, sanitizing gel for customers and they anly allowed 20 punters in the bar on pre booked tables!

Panic had struck when punters in The 3 Bulls were told that they wouldn't be able to watch the match there!  We had booked a table for 4 and were able to increase this to 7 in Rosie's to accommodate wor mates!

The game kicked off az we bizarrely looked oot of the window towards The Gallowgate End on the distance as the match unfolded on the bar's 3 tellys!

"A BOG standard performance!"

After just 4 minutes on the clock West Ham took the lead when Lascelles got hiz feet in a tangle in the box and Antonio had the easy task of slotting the baall into the net at The Gallowgate End!

One of wor number caalled 'Mark Mini Mags' ( he collects small models of Toon players!) missed the goal az he woz otherwise occupied in the bogs!
The equaliser came some 12 minutes later when Almiron fired home at The Leazes End. (Mark missed this goal az well, as he woz in the bogs again!) (Weak bladder, or wot?)

It woz 'ones a piece' at half time and then wor visitors retook the lead in the 65th minute when a shot which had rickoshaded off the bar foond the feet of Soucek and he had the simple task of side foot in the baall ower the goal line!

Mark again had made for the toolshed and aboot one minute later up popped Shelvey to hit a shot across the box and into the corner of the net for wor 2nd equaliser at The Gallowgate End, which we could see from a bar window! (Aye, Mark had missed both those goals az well to have the dubious record of not seeing any of the 4 goals as they were scored!

Toon team: Dubravka, Krafth,Lascelles, Fernandez, Manquillo, Shelvey, Hayden (Bentaleb 43), Joelinton (Carroll 81), Almiron, Saint-Maximin (Lazaro 69), Gayle (Ritchie 70)

Official attendance in Rosies: 23!   17 Toon fans, 3 bar staff, 2 booncers and 1 manageress! (There woz an empty table for 6 Gannin 'a beggin' az well!)

PS; Villa's defeat at Liverpoool meenz that NUFC cannot be relegated!
After Rosie's we heeded for The Strawberry where the streets aroond the groond were deserted!
VIEW OF STRAWBERRY PLACE AND THE GALLOWGATE END 
FROM AN UPSTAIRS WINDOW IN THE STRAWBERRY

DESERTED STREETS HALF AN HOUR AFTER MATCH ENDED!

The Strawberry's manager said that takins were doon £15,000 on a normal match day!
He didnt look a 'happy bunny' as he tried to make the customers he had (us!) adhere to social distancing rules!


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