Sunday, 26 July 2020

THE TOON 1 THE LIVERBIRDS 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '9:15pm bells' Sunday 26th July 2020
"THEY'VE MISSED THE GOAL!"
'PIST ONE PETE' ANGRILY POINTS AT THE TELLY IN ROSIE'S BAR
AZ THE CAMERAMAN MISSES WOR OPENIN' GOAL!

"OH SO PREDICTABLE!"

NUFC ended the season with a whimper, despite scoring inside 25 seconds, which of course, the telly cameras missed!  (Anothaa reason to be at the game and NOT watchin on from a pub, a club, or in your livin room!)
VIEW OF THE GALLOWGATE END THROUGH 
THE CHINESE ARCH! (JUST!)

Jonjo Shelvey had taken a very quick free kick which caught the Liverbirds defence, napping, the baall foond Dwight Gayle who buried it into the net at The Leazes End!
The cameras had focused on an injury to Saint-Maximin and missed the goal completely, with them showing the baall hittin the back of the net, but NOT Gayle's strike!  (Very poor show by camera operator!)

However,  Liverpoool were back on level terms 8 minutes before the break, through Van Dijk, who sent a looping heeder ower Dubravka, in the Toon goal!
(Predicably the camera DIDN'T miss this one!)

The Liverbirds stepped up the pace in the 2nd half az we brought on Joelinton with a brand new maroon hairdye to put the fear of god into wor visitors defence!(NOT!)

But 'it mattered not' az the 'Mickey Mousers' took the lead, when Origi hit a shot across the box on the hour mark to beat Dubraka---and near the end it woz 3-1 to the new champions when Mane aalso hit an identical shot across the box, to wrap the game up!

The result meenz that wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz taken just ONE point in the last five games and that wor record £40 million signin' Joelinton, will gan doon az wor worst number 9 ever, with just ONE solitary home goal in The Premyaa Leegue this season! (and just ONE away!)

Indeed!---Everton's Calvert-Lewin (2) and Tottenham's Harry Kane (2), have scored more Premyaa Leegue goals at St. James' Park, than Joelinton, who haz played in every one of wor 19 home games this season! (17 from the startin line ups and the last 2 from the subs bench!) 
(Yih couldn't make it up!)

Toon team:

*Official Attendance in Rosie's Bar doonstairs: 31 including 2 barstaff, 2 bouncers and the manageress!
(Upstairs Attendance not known, az aa cannit see through bar ceilings!)


CARTOON 'NICKED' FROM 'TRUE FAITH' FANZINE---"CHEERS!"

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