Posted '11:00am bells' Saturday 21st November 2020
Updated throughout match
I divvint want to be the eternal pessimist, BUT how many shots do yoo 'fink' NUFC will have on target from open play today???
ONE? TWO?? THREE??? FOWER???? Well if the past displays this season are anythin to gan by, then THREE shots on target at the most (not includin heeders) iz my prediction for this afternooon! (KO '12:30 bells' on BT)
On average we are havin two and a half efforts on target per game---and this includes heeders, direct free kicks, penalties and goals scored!
It reeely iz dire stuff to watch, and if we get anything from Chelski at SJP, then it will be a bonus for sure! A bit of good news iz that top goalscorer Callum Wilson haz declared himself fit and haz trained yesterday! Ryan Frazer, however iz still crocked and wont take part!
More good news iz that Chelski will be withoot several key players, but just how will Bruce will take advantage of that?
Defend, defend, defend and hope for a breakaway attack by hoofin the baall upfield? (az per usual)---and mee prediction for possession iz 30% to 'us' and 70% for wor visitors! (We shall soon find oot!)
Former players like Chris Sutton and Mark Lawrenson say we should be grateful that we have got 'Broken Nose Bruce' az manager and lorn to live with it! ---And Villa player Gabby Agbonlahor haz caalled Toon fans 'deluded!' (But they divvint have to watch us every game---do they?)
WE expect The Champions Leegue says Lawrenson, when in fact we just want a team where we divvint faall asleep before the end of games and end up back in the-----Championship! 😨
Aa reeely DO want the team to do well, of course aa do---and aa sincerly hope that a'v got 'egg on mee face', come '2:30 bells' this afternooon!
But will I? (hopefully so!)
A full Geordie Times 'mad-sad tellyhoppers' match report will appear here sometime on Sunday---Az per usual---watch this space!
Stop press! Wilson oot!---Joelinton in!🥶
HT 0-1 nee shots on target
Possession 20% to 80%
FT 0-2 1 shot on target (Carroll stoppage time)
Possession 29% to 71%
The Geordie Times predicted 30% to 70%
So sorry we were SO wrang!
We said we would have 3 shots on target when we had just 1 !
Full match report tomorrow! "ZZZzzzz!!!"😴