Posted '8:00pm bells' Munday 2nd November 2020
"WHO'S YI FATHER?--WHO'S YI FATHER?--WHO'S YI FATHER REFFF-ER-EEE!?"
For the 3rd time this season a Dunston game woz caalled off coz a player had caught 'the bat out of hell virus'!--This time it woz an Ossett United player who got the game caalled off!---This woz to be wor Saturday 'fix' this week!
A frantic sorch of the non leegue fixture list showed that Porcy Main were playin Cullaacoats and so a quick phone caall to 'Tex' Taylor' who lives nearby in Howden woz made and the decision to gan there instead, woz decided!
A Metro ride to North Sheeeldz woz made and we heeded for 'The Bar and Kitchen' boozer for a few 'gargels' before the kick off!
We naa the manager 'Mick' and had a bit 'chin wag' with him before jumpin back on the Metro to Porcy Main station 2 stops away, for the '2:30 bells' kick off!
A can of cider woz on offer in the smaall clubhoose before the start and we then took up wor positions in between the 2 dugoots on the halfway line!
And then the action started---both on and off the pitch!
By coincidence we saw Porcy Main play at Blue Star the week before, where they lost 6-3 in a 9 goal thriller!
We were not to be disappointed in this game and the goal sequences were az follows (Again, coz there were nee teamsheets, aa looked up the scorers on both Porcy Main and Cullaacoats Twitter feeds)
12th minute: A Thomson shot for Cullaacoats gave them the lead at 'The Privit Hedge End'! 0-1
33rd minute: An equaliser for Porcy Main through a mix up in defence allowed number 9 Collinson, to fire home at 'The Taall Trees End'! 1-1
There then followed a red card for an elbow by the Porcy captain, which brought fierce arguments between the 2 benches!
45th minute: Bang on half time the visitors retook the lead from a Hall volley! 1-2
45th minute plus: Not to be outdone Porcy equalised through Collinson after anothaa mix up in the visitors defence! 2-2 HT
62nd minute: Yet again Cullaacoats retook the lead with a 20yard volley from Williamson! 2-3
73rd minute: It woz soon 2-4 to the visitors az sub Coaley scored with hiz forst touch of the baall!
In between aall this, there woz 'a runnin battle' between the ref and the Cullaacoats coachin staff, with the ref tellin them repeatedly to "Get back beyond the touchline!" and "Shut it now!"
80th minute: A Symons cross 'sails' on the wind and ends up in the back of the Porcy Main net! 2-5 (ER!--aa missed this goal coz aa woz lookin at mee phone!)
88th minute: Porcy pull another goal back with a great free kick by Walker! 3-5
That woz the last goal of the game---and the entertainment on and off the pitch woz well worth the £1 admission fee!
Attendance: 40ish plus 1 of the Queen's corgis and 2 freebees watch through some metal railings!
PS: I bought a huge hot dog with onions at half time, which cost just a quid! NUFC charged £4:80 for a hot dog last season---withoot onions!
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