Monday, 1 April 2019

FROM UTTER DISPAIR TO UNBRIDLED JOY IN THE SPACE OF ONE HOUR!

Posted '11:15am bells' April Fools Day 2019
"WHO SAYS THE mackems ARE THICK?"

Yesterday afternoon woz quite a day if yoo were an NUFC fan.

Forst of aall we wanted Chelski to beat Cardiff to keep the gap to 7 points between us and them.

We were watchin the match in The Leazes End Club behind St. James' Park when Cardiff scored!----If it stayed this way then we would anly be 4 points from a relegation place!

Then a Toon fan called Jason asked if we wanted to see the score from Wembley in The Checkatrade Trophy final between the SMBs and Portsmoooth!
"NO!" I said but he still looked at hiz phone anyway and said: "Yoo don't want to know!"---which meant the mackems had scored!

It woz aall doom and gloom at this point az we drowned wor sorrows in pints of John Smiths!

Chelski were terrible, but with just 6 minutes to gan they scored a controversial 'offside goal' which stood---much to the anger of Neil Warnock in the Cardiff dugout!
There woz forthaa anger when a Chelski defender brung a Cardiff player doon when he woz clear!----A certain sendin' off?----NO!---the ref just booked him to forthaa enrage Warnock who's heed looked likely to 'explode'!

And then the 'ecstasy' az Chelski scored a last minute winner to send us wild in the club!----The gap woz still 7 points and even if we lose tooneet at Arsenal we will still be 7 points clear of Cardiff with just 7 games to gan!

Az aa woz leavin the club when the barmaid caalled Christine said that the Wembley game had gone to extra time! (a bit of hope at least!)
By the time a'd waaked doon to The Junction Bar I got a text message from mee mate called Dowaz!
I nervously looked at it and it said that Pompey had won 5-4 on penalties, with the mackem we love to hate, Lee Cattermole missin hiz penalty to give Portsmoooth the cup! (couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke!)----Unbridled joy came ower me, az I watched Portsmoooth lift the cup on the bars big screen, az Toon fans danced aroond the bar, az the beer went doon withoot touchin the sides!

A then the picture messages started comin' through!



'MISS' CATTERMOLE!

THEY CAN'T EVEN WIN THE MICKEY MOUSE CUP!




A day in the life of an NUFC diehard! 

OOH! a nearly forgot---there will be a full Geordie Times match report from Arsenal tomorrow mornin' on the train back from London! 

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