Sunday, 21 April 2019

THE TOON 3 THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB 1 **** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '11:01am bells' Sunday 21st April 2019
Updated '9:00pm bells'
"GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!"
PEREZ (centre) HEEDS HOME FOR HIZ HAT-TRICK


"PEREZ PERFECTION!"

A supurb hat-trick by Ayoze Perez sealed a gre5at 3-1 victory at St. James' Park yesterday evenin'!

The game started off in brilliant sunshine and it woz a bit norvy in the orly stages with Sooothampton gannin close a couple of times az they attacked The Leazes End.

The tornin' point of the game came not lang after when Almiron woz blatently blocked by Prowse az he ran like a whippet doon the wing!---RED CARD?---NO! The ref gave Prowse a 'yellow one' instead much to the disgust of players, fans and the Toon dugout, where one of wor coachin' staff woz shown hiz own 'red card' for the protest and woz sent to the stand!

This fired the team and crowd up and not lang after a great cross from Rondon foond Perez who had ran a hundred yards to get a foot on the end of the baall and hit it across the goal and in off the far post at The Gallowgate End, to send the Toon faithful wild with delight!---JUSTICE!


3 mins later he got hiz 2nd when he got on the end of a baall in a similar position to fire home with the Sooothampton keeper well beaten!
There were more chances, but Rondon in particular, couldn't add to wor lead az hiz shot woz blocked inside the box!---2-0 half time!
THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL (1st half)

We started very norvy in the 2nd period and were 'aall at sea' for the orly period, when disaster struck when Lemina hit a great shot past Dubravka in the Toon goal!

*'The Simon Templar Mob' then nearly equalised when Yoshida hit a shot ower the bar when it looked easier to score!----the nails were getting bitten and the hair pulled oot at this stage!

Ki then hit a great shot against the post at The Leazes End, but hiz shot rebounded back into play, rather than the back of the net!
ANOTHER VIEW OF PEREZ'Z HAT-TRICK GOAL!

However!---Perez had the last say when a heeder from a Sooothampton defender foond the heed of Matt Ritchie in the box.
Richie heeded the baall towards the goal and Perez got on to the end of it to heed past their keeper to seal hiz hat-trick and the 3 vital points to move us up to 12th in the table with 41 points----surely enough for safety now!
Rondon had a couple of more efforts saved az we ran the clock doon to claim the victory!

Defeat by Cardiff today against The Liverbirds will meen that we are definitely safe from 'the drop'
HAPPY TOON FANS STREAM UNDER THE CHINESE ARCH AFTER THE GAME!

*The Simon Templar Mob---an explanation: Simon Templar woz the star character of the hit TV series of the 1960s called 'The Saint' (Sooothampton's nickname) ---get it?

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Schar (Fernandez 69), Lascelles, Dummett, Ritchie, Perez, Ki, Hayden (Diame 78), Almiron (Atsu 64), Rondon

Attendance: 52,191 (1,500 Sooothampton fans)

"SHAFTED AGAIN BY SKY!"

After the match we heeded for various hostelries for the celebratory 'gargels' and it woz in The Bodega on Westgate Road that we foond oot that wor home game against The Liverbirds at '12:30 bells' had been moved to a ridiculous '7:45 bells' kick off on a Saturday neet, after SKY had originally advertised it at '12:30'

It iz very possible, but highly unlikely that shud Man City slip up in the title race, then Liverpoool could win the Premyaa Leegue at 'wor place', meeenin' that 20,000 Scousers could descend on the city centre---nearly aall withoot tickets, in a desperate bid to gain admission to the groond!

Aall day drinkin' will not help things of course--and there could be pandemonium before kick off time---thanx to SKY!
It's a wonder that the local 'Dibble' 'didn't put a spanner in the works' and demand a lunchtime start!

Updated '9:00pm bells'

'5:52 BELLS'---THE TIME WE WERE SAFE FROM RELEGATION TODAY!"

The Liverbirds won 2-0 at Cardiff this afternooon, meeeenin that the Welshmen cannit catch us now, az they anly have 9 points to play for and are 10 points behind us!
We watched the game in 'The Leazes End Club' and 'The Junction Bar' and wor safely woz conformed at the above time today when the ref blew the final whistle!

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