|"THE THEATRE OF EMPTY SEATS!"|
Wor forst League Cup tie of the season torned oot to be wor last!, last neet, when we went doon 2-1 @ 'The Theatre of Muppets' in front of 30,000 empty 'theatre' seats!
Because of the closure of the 'A1' in north Yorkshire due to floodin' and more problems on the 'A19' which runs parallel soothboond, we were forced to drive to Carlisle and doon the 'M6' to get to wor destination which added aboot 50 miles onto the jorney!
We arrived @ just after '5:15 bells' and parked in wor usual place near Salford Quays and 'The Broadway' boozer which iz aboot a 20-25 minute waalk from the groond.
The bar had anly ten punters inside, which gave us an idea az to the size of the crowd, which we predicted wud be aroond the 40,000 mark because of the ridiculous £45 poond entrance fee! (for wot waz in effect a resorve game!)
After 'several liquids' it waz 'time to gan' and thankfully the heavy rain which we had encoontered on the way doon had stopped!
Once through the tornstiles we cud see that we were reet, az a low Toon torn oot waz aalso in evidence, but they were in good voice az they sang:
"FORTY FIVE QUID--YER TAKIN' THE P*SS!"
as they held their expensive 'resorve' match tickets aloft!
We held wor own durin' the forst half, but the deadlock waz broken just before the break when Anderson's shot ricocheted off Elliots reedhand goalpost and into the net @ The Scoreboard End (which waz half empty!) to give the home side the lead.
Their lead waz doubled in the 58th minute when Cleverley, 'cleaverly' curled a shot past Elliot @ 'The Stretford End' and at last we got a response from 'The Muppets' with their 'Nick nack paddy wack' song!
Cisse and Ferguson then came on to replace Vuckic and Coloccini on the hour mark and it had an instant impact az the two combined straight away to give Cisse hiz forst goal of the season.
Ferguson's cross foond Cisse's heed and the resultin' nod from 'wor number 9', gave De Gea 'ne chance in the Cockney Reds goal to send the 700 travellin' faithful wild with delight! (that's reet!--- 700!)
Cisse then hit the bar with a spectacular owerheed sizzor kick but it waz to ne avail and another 'Wembley dream' waz ower for yet another season!
It iz nuw FORTY YEARS since we last beat them at this place!
The usual p*ss takin' from us durin' the game brought little response: ('Taxi for London' etc) but the thing that got me most off aall waz the fact that aa spotted two of wor fans wearin' 'half and half' scarves (half Toon-half Cockney Red!)
One waz a decrepid aad gadgie who waz aboot the same age az me!---and the other waz a little sprog with hiz daddy<(who shud'iv knaan better!)
"WOT'S THE WORLD COMIN' TE!???"
Toon team: Elliot, Perch, Williamson, Coloccini (Ferguson 60), Tavernier, Obertan, Tiote (Bigirimana 71), Gosling, Marveaux, Vuckic (Cisse 60), Shola Ameobi
Attendance: 46,358 (that's 30,000 empty 'theatre' seats!) anly 700 Toon fans (the lowest tornoot here, that aa can ever remember!)
Even the 'empty seats' song didn't de 'the roonds' az we had thoosands of them in wor end az well!
PS: 'The Muppets' chant of the day waz!--------- "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1" az they coonted the seconds doon on the stadium clock, til the end of the match!!!! (WOT F*****' NEXT!?)
Az the aad song gans!----"It's time to start the music!--it's time to light the lights!----it's time to get things started!----on the Muppet Show tonight!"