285 middlewood sheffield

(Ground number 285A and 285B!)

Date of First Visit: 14^th April 2012

Middlewood Training Ground, Sheffield

(Pitch ‘A’)

Sheffield Wednesday U18s 1

Newcastle United U18s 3 (Dan Taylor 2, Ryan McGorrigan)

(Pitch ‘B’)

Sheffield Wednesday U16s 4

Newcastle United U16s 4 (scorers unknown!?)

FA Academy League (North)

Combined attendance: 99 (estimated!) (9 Toon fans---a tenth of the 'crowd'!---nearly!)

“SHAKEY RATTLE AND ROLL!”

‘Blondie Alan’ waz wor driver for this one and the ‘intrepid trio’ set off @ 8:30 bells for the high noon kick off @ Sheff Weds trainin’ ground near Hillsborough. (Blondie—Liam and meesel!)

We arrived @ 10:45 bells’ after followin' the team bus---(which had to make a 'U' turn after missin' the turn off to the groond!) and started lookin’ for a boozer that waz open az there waz still an hour and a qwaata til kick off time!

Two lasses were standin’ ootside a bar a couple of hundred yards away and ‘Blondie’ asked them wot time it opened. “It doesn’t open til twelve”, they replied in thick Yorkshire accents, "but there’s a bar called ‘Shakeys’ which is an eight minute walk away!”, az they pointed us in the reet direction!

EIGHT MINUTES did seem a bit of an odd ‘time to give'? az someone would normally say TEN or FIFTEEN minutes for example, but ‘off we set’ anyway and after a TEN MINUTE waalk (they got it SO wrang!) we spotted it not far from a tram stop in Hillsborough (the name of the district az well az the football groond)

After a ‘shake’ or two of the old John Smiths in 'Shakeys' it waz off to the tram stop az we were too lazy to waalk back to the trainin’ groond and it took aboot three minutes to get there az it ‘rattled and rolled’ on the uneven road!

"WE'RE SO! SAD, WE SAVE ANYTHING!"

"THE WALLY WITH THE BROLLY!"

The trainin’ ground even had a mobile food van--- and so!---(az yi de!) a bacon sarnie nosebag waz scoffed by aall!

To the right of the pitches behind the goal at that end a huge indoor domed aall weather trainin’ facility dominated the area and aa commented that it looked a little bit like ‘The Millenium Dome’ in London!

"THE MILLENIUM DOME END!"
(UNDER 18s GAME)

To the left of the pitches behind the far goals stood four huge ‘smoke free’ chimneys and they dominated that end of the groond

"THE FOUR (SMOKE-FREE) CHIMNEYS END!"
(UNDER 16s GAME)

Not for the forst time we had TWO games to watch at the same time, az the Under 16s were playin’ on the ajoinin’ pitch to the Under 18s game!

The main game we were here for however was the Under 18s and we positioned worsels near their touchline, makin’ sure that we could glimpse the action from the Under 16s pitch az well, which waz ‘next door’

'Alex of St George' waz anotha member of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers club' to torn up and he went in search of some team sheets, but came back empty handed, moanin' that the anly 'sheets' he could find were the ones a gadgie waz puttin' in a washin' machine in the changin' rooms area! 

Both Toon teams wore their 'Orangebairns' change strips to avoid clashin' with Sheff Weds blue 'n' white stripes

The Under 16s game kicked off slightly orlier and after just ower half an hours play the home side were leadin’ 3-0 of which ‘yours truly’ witnessed two of them!

The Toon Under18s meanwhile took the lead in the 27^th minute at ‘The Four ('Smoke Free') Chimneys End’ (wot else!?) with a fine shot from number nine, Dan Taylor.

At this juncture it started p*ssin' doon but we had come prepared with a huge black 'n' white brolly.
Aa tried to put it up, but az a'm not used to operatin' theeze contraptions, we got soakin' wet before we could open the bloody thing up!
Eventually---with some help, we got it opened--but guess wot!?---the rain soon stopped and then aa couldn't get it doon again! (it could anly happen to us!)

The Under 16s then pulled a goal back (which aa missed coz aa waz watchin’ an Under 18s attackin’ move!) and both sides went in at half time with that scoreline.

The Under 18s then went 2-0 up with a shot in the 50th minute from Ryan McGorrigan at ‘The Millenium Dome End’ (it had to be folks!)

Meanwhile!---The Under 16s pulled another goal back (missed that one az well az aa waz at ‘the tool shed’!) and then they levelled things on the hour mark. (a Toon U16s goal aa actually saw az there waz a lull in play on wor pitch!)

A minute later however Sheffields U16s regained the lead before we hit back yet again to make it 4-4 soon after with a shot that rattled off the bar (just!—seen it hit the net!)

On wor pitch Sheffields U18s pulled one back when Toon goalie Mitchell fumbled the baall from a powerful shot by their centre forward (me thinx?)

The Under 16s game finished soon after and so we could now fully focus on The Under 18s and a tap in from Dan Taylor for his 2^nd goal in the 82^nd minute made it 3-1 to us and that’s the way it ended!

To sum up: oot of the twelve goals that were scored in both games ‘The Geordie Times mad-sad groundhoppers’ saw SEVEN and missed FIVE! (Aalthough ‘Blondie Alan’ and Liam ‘claimed’ to have seen a couple more than this!)

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)