TO BE OR NOT TO BE *** THAT IZ THE QUESTION!???

Posted '1:02pm bells' Thorsday 12th March 2020

With aall sports worldwide are now in total meltdoon because of the coronavirus pandemic, we fully expect that future futbaall games, will eethaa be played behind closed doors OR suspended until forthaa notice!
Inter Milan players have been placed in quarantine after a Juventus player haz caught the virus (Who they played last week!)

UEFA are considerin suspendin' aall European competitions az we speak and wor Prime minister Boris 'Karloff' Johnson iz at a COBRA meetin today and one of the two above options are expected to happen!

Personally, we at 'The Geordie Times' 'fink' that suspendin' games until forthaa notice iz the preferred option, az game withoot fans in empty stadiums will be farcical!
Chris Wilder the Sheff U manager agrees----the team we are supposed to be playin in front of 52,000 fans at SJP on Saturday---but will there be 52,000 empty seats????

Pubs and clubs are to be banned from showin games live because they will be packed oot az a consequence, so wots the point if neebody can watch???

An announcement from Number '10' iz expected sometime this afternoon and we will of course bring yoo the outcome!

Az William Shakespeare might say:
"To be or NOT to be----that iz the question!"???       

CORONA CHAOS CRISIS!

Posted '1:33pm bells' Wedinzday 11th March 2020

"SO GLAD WE ARE NOT IN EUROPEAN COMPETITIONS!"

Chaos haz ensued with European fixtures involving UK clubs, now to be played behind closed door, with Moan U, Chelski, Rangers and Wolves fans banned from travellin to their club's European ties, many have said that games should be postponed rathaa than bein played in front of empty stadiums!

The Arses Premyaa Leegue game v Man City haz bee called off tooneet, az some players and staff have come into contact with the owner of Greek club Olympiakos a fortneet ago, who haz went doon with the corona virus! 

Wolves have pleaded with UEFA to cancel their game with Olympiakos tomorrow, az  THEIR players could be at risk!

Total shut doon of futbaall and 'behind closed doors' games iz a real possibility now as a world wide pandemic haz been conformed!

Bizzarly, even Corona beer (which haz absolutlee nothin' to dee with the virus!) haz been affected, with unexpected losses of £132,000,000!!!!

TOON TIE ON TELLY!

Posted '12:33pm bells' Tuesday 10th March 2020

Az woz 100% certain, wor FA Cup qwaataa final tie v 'The Blue Moonies' of Mancland haz been picked for BBCs live game on Saturday 21st March, with a '7:00 bells' kick off!

Tickets are on sale now for 'lower bowl' season ticket holders and then from Friday for those in The Milburn Stand and Leazes End upper tiers! Prices are £15 for 'big kids' and just a fiver for sporgs and zimmerframeites! (like me!)
'The Blue Moonies' are expected to take up their entitled allocation of 8,000 tickets in The Leazes End level 7 and corner sections of The Milburn Stand level 7. (Unless 'The Dibble' say othaawise! (Police!)

We sit in the centre section of The Milburn Stand upper tier, above the directors box and we anticipate that we will be able to buy wor own seats on Friday!---If not we will be given priority for seats somewhere in 'the lower bowl'

A 52,000 plus capacity crowd iz *guaranteed az 'cup fever' grips Tyneside, with a place at Wembley for the semi finals at stake!

*That's assumin' that the game won't be played behind closed doors, because on the coronavirus epidemic!?
(More to follow on this sometime tomorrow!)

EXITAA CITY U23s v THE TOON U23s *** TOONEET @ ST. JAMES' PARK, EXITAA!

Posted '12:49pm bells' Munday 9th March 2020

NUFC U23s are in action at St. James' Park tooneet v Exitaa in a FA Premyaa Leegue Cup 2nd roond tie, but it's NOT the St. James' Park we aall naa and luv---It's the one 370 miles away in Devon and just TWO of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be there, namely 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' and 'Alex of St. George'!
The reason that they are gannin and the rest of us are not, iz because most of us have been here previously, but Blondie and Alex haven't!

I personally have 'bad memories' of the place, az we lost 4-1 there in an FA Cup 5th roond replay 39 years ago in 1981 !!!

'Blondie Alan' iz deein the match report and sendin pix for 'The Geordie Times' and we will bring yoo news and pix later tooneet from REDDITCH in WORCESTERSHIRE!
This iz where I now dee mee nightly 'truck run' to, from Mundays to Thorsdays and Blondie will 'Whatsapp' me aall the relevant details and I will publish it sometime between '9:00 and 10:00pm bells' from mee mobile 'telling bone'! 
If yoo are in the area and fancy gannin the game kicks off at '7:00 bells' and admission iz a fiver for big kids and four quid for aall othaas)

Updated '9:22pm bells' Munday 9th March from deepest Worcestershire!

            Ootside a locked stadium!

Half time score: P-P!

                                      Full time score: P-P!
Attendance: 2 daft Toon fans at Exitaa train station!

The match woz caalled off an before kick off az the pitch woz waterlogged!---a near 750 mile roond trip for nothin' for Blondie and Alex, to watch a resorves game!!!!!

THE ANLY 'ACTION'  BLONDIE AND ALEX SAW, WOZ THIS TRAIN 

ARRIVIN' AT ST. JAMES' PARK!

(THAT'S ST. JAMES' PARK TRAIN STATION, EXITAA, BY THE WAY!)😜

We're not caalled 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' for nothing!🙃

THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '2:08pm bells' Friday 6th March 2020

*After wor FA Cup heroics?, on Tuesday at West Brom, it's 'back to the grind' in 'The Premyaa Leegue survival saga'!

We heed for the south coast for the forst time this season, and play relegation rivals Sooothampton at St. Mary's Stadium!

We say 'relegation rivals' az we have been sucked doon the table to 14th place and just 6 points above the thord bottom side, Bournemoooth and 2 behind Sooothampton in 13th place!

NUFC have won just ONE of wor last TEN Premyaa Leegue games and haven't scored for 4 games in a row, which iz a big worry! (That's SIX hours by the way!)

And oot of the entire Futbaall Leegue we are in 90th place oot of 91, for goals scored! (24 in 28 games)
Anly Stevenage who are anchored at the foot of Leegue 2 have scored less (23 goals!) ---A shockin' 'stat'

Still oot injured are Krafth, Clark, Dummett and (suprize, suprize!) Andy Carroll!

The Toon have virtually sold oot wor 2,900 allocation of tickets for The Norham Stand, so some more great support iz guaranteed! 

We reeely must get sommik oot of this game, or else the downward slide will continue!

We leave on the '5:59 am bells' train to King's Cross (London) in the mornin' and then onwards to the south coast via London Waaterloo Station!---We are due back in the orly hours of Sunday mornin' and so a full Geordie Times match report might be a little later than usual---unless aa dee it on the train back on mee mobile phone, of course! (not eazy when the train iz rockin' from side to side and gannin ower bumps!)

Az per usual---"Watch this space!" 

The Simon Templar Mob---an explanation----'The Saint' woz a cult TV show in the 1960's and starred Roger Moore az 'Simon Templar'---Sooothampton's nickname iz 'The Saints'---get it? 

PS: 'Wor heed coach 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz said that it iz possible that future games might have to be played behind closed doors, like in Italy, because of the coronavirus crisis!

Can yoo imagine it? The FA Cup final with 90,000 empty seats!!! 

IT'S THE BLUE MOONIES OF MANCLAND IN THE CUP!

Posted '12:16pm bells' Thorsday 5th March 2020

The draw for the FA Cup qwaataa finals took place last neet and we will have a home tie against current holders and favourites Maan City later this month! (March 20th, 21st or 22nd)

Some people have said its the draw that neebody wanted, but at the end of the day we would have had to play them at some point on the road to Wembley and at least we will play them at SJP with a full hoose of 52,000 plus!

This meeenz that whatever the result, wor Premyaa Leegue game against them on semi final weekend in Mancland will  be postponed, az one of us must reach this stage of the competition!(April 18th-19th)

Aalso, wor home game against 'The Hazbeenz and Villans' will have to be rearranged, az its on the weekend of the FA Cup qwaataa finals!

Ticket detail to follow, but yoo can bet your bottom dollar that cup fever will sweep Tyneside in 2 weeks time!

Aalso 'pencil in' the date of May 23rd for your diary-----
The date of THE FA CUP FINAL! (wishful 'fink'in---or wot!?)

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 2 THE TOON 3 *** FA CUP 5TH ROOND

Posted '1:40pm bells' Wedinzday 4th March 2020

"JAWDEEEZ, COCK OF THE NORTH!"

"WE NEARLY 'COCKED' IT UP!" (AGAIN!)

Because aa woz the anly one who needed to get back for graft the next day (today at '2:30 bells'), aa got 'the short straw' and drove doon to the West Midlands in me 'canny tranny' 9 seater van for 'this one'! (4 of us aaltogether)

The jorney doon the various motorways to get there woz uneventful and we parked up aboot half a mile from The Hawthorns near the M5 motorway and caught the tram to central Bormingham for a few 'gargels' with those who had travelled doon by train (not much for me, az aa woz the driver!)

Az the match started, aboot a dozen inflatable male sex organs (plastic ones,NOT real ones!) were thrown aboot the away end in response to West Brom statin' that 'no 'windmills' would be allowed into the groond! (This woz itself in response to a Toon fan who dropped hiz strides at Oxfaad in the last roond and twerled hiz small 'manhood' like a windmill, which woz shown on live telly!)--It looked riDICKulous! (sic!)

THE TOON ARE IN AALL ORANGE AZ WE ATTACK THE FAR GOAL

The 5 goal 'feast' started just after the half hour mark: 

25th minute: Saint-Maximin rattles the woodwork az The Toon press for the openin' goal!

33rd minute: Miggy Almiron latches onto a through baall and plants the baall into the back of the net at The Bormingham Road End to send the 5,050 faithful at the othaa end into unbridled joy!

1st half stoppage time: A back heel from Joelinton near the far post find Almiron who says "thank yoo very much!" and taps in from close range to double wor lead!

VIEW FROM ROW 'AA', SEAT 70, OF THE SMETHWICK END

(2nd half)

46th minute: And then, with barely 30 seconds played in the 2nd half Lazaro chested the baall home in front of the away followin' to put us into the draw for the qwaataa finals of the competition!-----WHEY! not quite!---Az The Baggie Troosers pulled one back in the 73rd minute after sloppy defendin on wor part to give them a glimmer of hope and send The Toon Army into 'nail-bitin' mode!

 It woz then 'backs to the waall' az West Brom went on the offensive with wor formation sent into disarray az 'Broken Nose Bruce' made two changes, takin' off wor best players who could run at their defence (Almiron and Saint-Maximin) replacing them with Shelvey and Gayle!

And then, horror upon horror we conceded a 2nd goal in the 3rd minute of stoppage time, after yet more bad defendin', to send The Toon Army into 'pullin oot hair' mode'!

A penalty appeal for the home side sent wor hearts into 'attack mode', (That's 'heart attack mode'!), but the ref waved 'play on' and we managed to survive!
We'd 'nearly 'cocked it up' (double sic!)----but live to fight anothaa day, with the draw takin place tooneet 'late on'! (Approximately '10 bells'. NUFC are baall number 4)

Toon team: Darlow, Manquillo, Lascelles, Schar, Rose, Lazaro (Lejeune 91), S. Longstaff, Bentaleb, Saint-Maximin (Gayle 80), Almiron (Shelvey 71)

Attendance: 25,000 estimated? (5,050 Toon fans singin the 'Tell mee maa, we're goin to Wembley', song)
2 days later: Official attendance: 21,577 (We bring yoo the news 1st hand, 2nd!)

*The pre match 'gargels' took place here!

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS v THE TOON **** FA CUP 5th ROOND *** TOONEET!

Posted 'just before high noon bells' Tuesday 3rd March 2020

We take a much needed break from the ravages of Premyaa Leegue futbaall tooneet when we heed for The Hawthorns to take on West Brom in the FA Cup at '8:00 bells'! (live on BBC red button)

Just why the 5th roond iz bein' played midweek and not at the weekend iz because of the so caalled 'winter break', meeenin that we must play 3 games in 7 days following wor bore draw with Bornley last Saturday---and then away to Sooothampton next Saturday!

Despite the inconvenience of a Tuesday neet away game, NUFCs allocation of 5,050 tickets sold oot az soon az they were put on sale!----FA Cup fever haz hit Tyneside az its 14 lang years since we got this far in the FA Cup----indeed aboot a qwaataa to a thord of wor younger support tooneet, will have NEVER seen us in a 5th roond tie!

We have nee idea aboot the team line ups yet, az both 'us' and West Brom are tryin to be in The Premyaa Leegue next season, with 'us' just 6 points above the drop and West Brom in 2nd place in The Championship table! (ie: Premyaa Leegue rules OK!)

Yours truly haz got 'the short straw' and will be drivin' doon and back this time in a few mis from now! (somebody else's torn next time we need to drive to an away game!)

A full Geordie Times match report with pix will appear here sometime on Wedinzday----Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

PS: The monthly pageviews for 'The Geordie Times' passed the 9,000 mark for the forst time ever, for February 2020 (9,500+)---the highest monthly figure in the near 10 years that this daft blog haz been gannin----and NEE daft 'pop up advorts' to annoy yoo eethaa!---unlike aall the othaa NUFC fan sites! (ie: We dee it FREE (for the 'luv of it') and not for money!)

*

"NO SENSE IN THIS NONSENSE!"

Posted '11:11am bells' Munday 2nd March 2020

"THE HANDSHAKES WILL STOP FORTHWITH!
---FULL STOP!"

DOCTOR'S ORDERS! (or NOT, az the case may be!)

On  Friday wor heed coach 'Broken Nose Bruce' said that wor respected club doctor has ordered that the customary 'shaking of hands' between players and staff at wor trainin groond in Benton should stop immediately because of the threat of the coronavirus outbreak!

In wor press conference, Bruce reiterated this and said the players and staff would no langer shake hands with ANYBODY!

And then just a day later on Saturday before wor match v Bornley, guess wot happened???--- The Toon and Bornley players indeed, shook hands with each other and the match officials!!!???

"Just wot the doctor DIDN'T order!"

"Yi couldn't possibly make it up!"

THE TOON V THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:35pm bells' Friday 28th February 2020

GREY'S MONUMENT ENTRANCE TO ELDON SQUARE 

IN THE CENTRE OF TOON!

"SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL!" (or NOT az the case maybe!)

*Sorry for repeatin' worsles---sorry for repeatin worsels!, but tomorrow's game v Bornley at SJP haz taken on yet anothaa 'must win'---'must not lose' game!

With 31 points 'on board', we need at least anothaa 10 points from the remainin 11 games to avoid 'the abyss' of  'The Championship' next season!

With less than an average of a goal a game (24 in 27)---and the very fact that wor non firing strikeforce haz just scored FOWER (4) goals between 6 of them aall season in Premyaa Leegue fixtures,(Joelinton(1), Almiron(2), Muto(0), Gayle(0), Saint-Maximin(1), Carroll(0))---meeenz that a low scorin' game iz forecast by us!

(Nee goals in wor last 3 games tells its own sorry tale!) 

'The Hillbillies' from across the Pennines are on 'a roll' with wins at Moan U and Sooothampton in their last 2 away games and are unbeaten in their last 5 games aall told!

In contrast, NUFC have won just ONE of wor last 9 Premyaa Leegue games az we steadily slide doon the table----to 14th place az we speak!

Az lang az wor absent owner 'The Fat Controller' iz in charge and appoints 'run of the mill' 'yes men' managers like Pardew, McClaren, Carver, Joke Kinnear and Bruce, then we will aalways be in a relegation battle, with nee hope whatsoever of winnin' a major trophy!

NEW SIGN AT BENTON

TRAININ' GROOND!

Bizzarly, wor heed coach 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz ordered wor players not to shake hands, because of the coronavirus crisis, so it will be very interestin' indeed, when the teams line up for their pre match handshakes, to see wot exactleee happens???

The goals 'for' column doesn't lie!
NUFC are joint lowest scorers!

A 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here az per usual a day after the game (Sunday)----"Watch this space!"